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Sun September 01, 2019
(Oxford University Press)
 
 
 
Get married you heathens, it helps prevent dementia and keeps you from the stupid
source: academic.oup.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
This apartment is so small you have to go outside to change your mind
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Shark convention at Cape Cod
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
London soldiers falling down, falling down, falling down. London soldiers falling down, dehydration
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRIC Richmond)
 
 
 
Healthcare professionals say pharmacists suffer from premature inoculation
source: wric.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spokesman Review)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Mongolian Derby winner
source: media.spokesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Ku Klux Klan Kookout Kancelled
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these tiny woodland scenes
source: diycandy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Annual "Tomatina'" festival held on the streets of Spain town. Participants give it a 99% rating on Rotten Tomatoes
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
If Labor Day was established to honor the American labor movement and the laborers who are essential for the workings of society, then why are my bank and government offices closed while the gas stations and restaurants are still open?
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Seventy-four year old churchgoer bakes cookies for congregation. Since this is Fark, you'd better believe they were laced with hash
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Well, it is Death Valley
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guinness)
 
 
 
Caption this mayo-guzzling record holder
source: i2.wp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Pope Francis was MIA for 30 minutes. Illness? Violence? Abduction? Nah- he was stuck in the elevator
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Cletus down under
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Nancy Drew the tortoise goes to his local pub every night for a drink. How he manages to get onto the stool though is a mystery (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
Don't be poor. Murica for the win. Are we tired of winning, yet?
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this twine
source: images.homedepot-static.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: "And now I'm a loyal customer": When a business went above and beyond for you
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NOAA)
 
 
 
Hurricane Dorian is now a category 5 hurricane with maximum sustained winds of 160 MPH. Stay safe, East coast Farkers
source: nhc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Royal Family: We've picked out a darling estate for you near the Welsh borderlands. Duke and Duchess of Sussex: Fark off
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Bicyclists are predators. Pedestrians advised to cover themselves in mud
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy with Bones)
 
 
 
There are some things you shouldn't buy used. Bone grafts seems like one of those things
source: net32.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJHG Panama City Beach)
 
 
 
Woman bites Uber driver. That's not how Uber Eats is supposed to work
source: wjhg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 7 KOSA)
 
 
 
Several people in Texas and Arizona suddenly develop glaucoma
source: cbs7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 31, 2019
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Court rules that TSA screeners can be sued for mistreatment. Hero tag is for the Judges
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Woman throws bottle of gasoline and lit fuse into DHS office, fortunately not connected to each other
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily NK)
 
 
 
DARE, Best Korea style
source: dailynk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If your elevated levels of anxiety can take it, here are eight ways the world could end
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Tom's One Hour Photo opened in LA in 1991. Business was good back then. Lately it has been very slow. One customer a day kind of slow. That is, slow until recently, when Kacey Musgraves tweeted about the shop to her three million followers
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this anonymous troll
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
It's a tie between America and France with both going 10-0
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Lemonade Lisa (or Larry) calls cops. Cops respond, saying thanks, we were thirsty
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 7 KOSA)
 
 
 
Mass shooting in Texas, 30 people shot, five dead. [Update: shooter is dead]
source: cbs7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LGBTQ Nation)
 
 
 
Boston's 'Straight Pride' event, Well, surprise surprise - it's basically a pro-Trump rally featuring Milo Yiannopoulos
source: lgbtqnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
You only moved the headstones
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Subby can't wait to hear Zuckerberg's latest version of how this was an "accident" and "shouldn't have happened"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
ATM: in a hospital, in a box, in a Subaru
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this overprotective drink machine
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
This article paints a picture of Dorian grazing the Florida coast. Stay tuned for more updates on this Wilde weather. This is your official Fark hurricane preparation and speculation thread [Update: Now heading for the Carolinas]
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Weeners
 
Texas takes a hard stance on dicks
source: bigcountryhomepage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
Enjoy your next Amtrak trip, citizen. Don't forget to smile at the nice man when he comes by to search you and your luggage for drugs, and to confiscate any excessive amounts of cash you are carrying. And have a nice day
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The true Florida hurricane indicator
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photobucket)
 
 
 
Caption this excited audience member
source: i347.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
High school football game ends in a 10-0 score, which is also the same score the shooter at the game achieved
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Well, that explains a good deal of things
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this huge muff
source: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
A Florida man who feared his cat had been eaten by coyotes was reunited with the feline three and a half years later thanks to a stranger, a microchip and an animal hospital. Florida tag last seen heading for Caturday
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Oh so it's wrong to sell cookie cakes with frosting that looks like Hurricane Dorian attacking Florida
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
There is at least one person in the world who likes using condoms
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Mandatory evacuations of Florida's Atlantic coastline to start Saturday
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
ATM machine inventor celebrates 50th birthday birthday
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityLab)
 
 
 
Tired of waiting for the city to fix their street, residents of this New Orleans neighborhood furnished their pothole and listed it as an Airbnb rental
source: citylab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Sirhan Sirhan shivved shivved
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Hear you like defending against DUI, dawg. Here is a DUI to use your DUI defense company to defend against
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
How would you like paying 1959 prices for gasoline in 2019? Tag is for the gas station
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Seldom is the question asked: Is our children high achieves?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 30, 2019
(BBC)
 
 
 
Just say "pussy." Cats are always welcome on social media
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
If you have the gun, do you really need the badge if all you want is free stuff?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Fark-ready actual headline: "Family of man who died while working at the vacant Northridge Mall is crushed over razing lawsuit." So which of you Farkers is writing stories for CBS58 now?
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Climate change is bad news for everyone. Except the guys who want to sell you new maps (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Look America, I thought we settled this: If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Hopefully they'll be blown into the ocean
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Surfer successfully completes the rarely-attempted Board-to-Shark Transfer With a Half-Twist, scores 9.5
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
This is what it's like to bring a mini service horse on an airplane. You know, in case you're feeling a little giddy up
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1967, Thurgood Marshall is confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice, and would later weigh in with opinions on the legality of being Bad to the Bone, or the availability of One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Drugged, castrated, and ready to mate: No, it's not some Brave New World Coachella, it's infected Cicadas
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Happy national slinky day. Thanks go to Betty James who named and marketed the slinky, no thanks to her deadbeat husband
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Small town yokels lament that it's getting hard to enjoy high school football games when so many of the kids are all sad and distracted and stuff about their parents being deported in ICE raids
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Us Weekly)
 
 
 
Valerie Harper dead at age 80, will not be replaced by Sandy Duncan this time
source: usmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
People are reporting a cougar wandering Twin Cities suburbs, and not the fun kind
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Well, this is a sh*tty excuse for speeding
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this office nook
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Eighty-year-old woman falls asleep in her car, wakes up without it. How does that even happen?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NextGov)
 
 
 
It's not a good idea to watch porn at work on your government computer and lie about it under oath, right Mr. Deputy Assistant Attorney General?
source: nextgov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Having helped save Afghanistan from terrorist invaders, former U.S. marine now tries to save the world from UFOs, warns that snake-like objects in sky could be something "beyond" a classified military program, and could be aliens (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
@jack hack
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
911 dispatcher on her final shift lectures woman trapped in her car by floodwaters: "This will teach you next time don't drive in the water." Well at least the dispatcher can sleep soundly knowing there certainly won't be a next time
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rubber band man)
 
 
 
Do not strangulate. Strangulating is bad. So is going off half-cocked
source: heraldpublicist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Florida men prep for Hurricane Dorian in the most Florida way possible
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
"What am I hurting?" -Seattle man who sleeps in a network of 20 rundown cars parked across the city and has evaded over $17k in parking tickets
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
For Sale: Padded hard shell rifle cases valued at $35. Asking $800 call for details... *wink*..*wink*
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
In today's edition of "guess the race of the perpetrator," a campground manager is fined $250 for brandishing a gun at couple who didn't have reservations prior to arriving
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Trump dispatches B-2s to intimidate those smug, funny-accented Europeans into selling him Greenland
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Suddenly, Rhino
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NOAA)
 
 
 
Atlantic Coast Florida Farkers, please secure your lawn chairs, because it's about to get a little breezy. Post your advice and pictures of empty bread shelves in this thread
source: nhc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Indianapolis police officer responds to high school student pleading with him to "chill out, bro" in a way that inspires confidence in the selection and training process of IMPD officers. (With graphic video)
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rooftop
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scoop Nashville)
 
 
 
I...I shwear offisher...I only had...two drinks
source: scoopnashville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
I'd prefer a herpy Slurpee
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Bee sting? Better drink my own urine
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Apparently there was a chicken massacre in Brooklyn last night
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The FBI would like your help in identifying "The Dapper Desperado"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cavalier Daily)
 
 
 
'No way to prevent this,' says only nation where this regularly happens
source: cavalierdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Florida Prophetess to Dorian: In the name of Jesus, YOU SHALL NOT PASS
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
If only this sign was outside the Neverland Ranch
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newschannel 9)
 
 
 
Hottie pulls up to Taco Bell drive-through and pours alcohol into the mouth of drive through window attendant. Yo quiero DUI
source: newschannel9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Seriously, who hacks a butt plug? (NSFW)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Please don't shoot at hurricane Dorian
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
'Huge drugs bust' at Gatwick airport turns out to be vegan cake mix
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFB Baton Rouge)
 
 
 
Ok, here's how to get free beer, eh? Get a baby mouse and, like, put it in a bottle, and when it's so small it will fit in, like, this hole, eh?
source: wafb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption these Titanic manufacturing workers
source: cdn.historydaily.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Record News)
 
 
 
You know that Johnny Cash song "One Piece At A Time?" Well, picture it in reverse and you have this Wichita Falls man's story
source: timesrecordnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
For centuries it's been thought that the original "Joe Miller's Joke Book" was lost in time, perhaps intentionally. After a copy was recently found buried in an Old London excavation site, we can understand why
source: communalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Decades-old tradition started by Yuri Gagarin where Russian cosmonauts urinate on a wheel before take-off will end - because the new spacesuits don't have a fly
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Foreplay. New and improved way to get house work done: "Choreplay"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
"One minute there was 20 of them and then the next minute the whole sea front was covered in cowboy hats. They were all wearing cowboy hats". Wait until you hear what happened to the playing cards
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Air Force Times)
 
 
 
Time to replace that Harrier you got from all those Pepsi points years ago. There's an Air Force Lawn Dart for sale
source: airforcetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Attention Floridians: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
OK. You've been assigned to write an article titled "What We Can Learn From Video Game Violence." You need to pick 5 video games to use as an example. Which 5 are best? Got your picks? Great, now click the link and look at what this idiot selected
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Mythical Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme - The gods of love and war
source: thefrailestthing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Nye County in Nevada declares state of emergency over internet joke
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Mom finds a novel use for her lube now she has a boyfriend that she actually "fancies": Creating a very slip 'n' slide for her son (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Who has an abnormally large thumb and loves to show it off? This guy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Bang Bros buy porn star database, make it hotter by setting it on fire (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Randy couple jump into outdoor meeting pod, turn it into the orgasmtron
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
No working cameras in or around Epstein's cell, but the footage of this woman giving birth by herself in jail is perfectly framed
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
In Alabama, a teenager's messy room is protected by the second amendment
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Hillary ties up another loose end
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Spoiler alert: Atomizing mysterious liquids and circulating it through your pulmonary system is exactly as healthy as it sounds like it wouldn't be
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Zoo worker: Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Ten science-backed tips for bringing serenity into your home. No, screaming "Serenity Now" at the top of your lungs isn't one of them. But it damn well should be
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Well it IS called dope
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
How Burning Man mirrors our evolution of human cities, from free-form egalitarianism to rich dickheads enforcing VIP lines
source: curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 29, 2019
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
Man looks down the barrel of a shotgun during robbery and calmly lights a cigarette, proceeds to argue with the robber about how he's doing this all wrong. Just another night in St. Louis
source: riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Apparently some people take it very personally when vegan influencers quit being vegans
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Jacob Wohl, professional provocateur, has decided to travel the world and post photos. Difficulty: His mom's fence is visible in the background of the photos
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Trump cancels trip to Poland so he can monitor hurricane Dorian as it impacts Mar-a-La...erm, Florida
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Traffic guy retires after 40 years on-air in DC. Who is gonna call Beltway drivers "self-entitled jackasses" now? (listens to earpiece) Oh, everybody? Carry on
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The Russian nuclear reactor missile that exploded? Joke's on you, it exploded when they were trying to recover it from the ocean floor, not when it was flying. Great success for Motherland
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
After years of claiming it was one, the day has finally come where Ontario's Highway 401 is literally a dumpster fire
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
High sticking, 2 minutes
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zero Hedge)
 
 
 
Shiat's on fire, yo, the Tesla home solar panel edition
source: zerohedge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
In short, all the associated risks with any mind altering substance from developmental harm to the potential for abuse, but... teh marijuannas ooga-booga
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Jeffrey Epstein's criminal case is officially as dead as him and the two cameras that were outside his cell
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Igor Siwanowicz)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hickory horned devil
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
How rough is commuting in NYC? Man cuts his commute from 90 minutes to 15 by buying a jet ski to get from Jersey City to Brooklyn, a distance of only a few miles
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scoop Nashville)
 
 
 
You know what really helps to sell a house? A picture of the realtor getting head in that house
source: scoopnashville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"Nine facts about evacuations in Florida" strangely misses the important "Mimes and Rodeo Clowns are legally allowed to carjack you when wind speeds are above 105 mph" factoid
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you want to get married but you're still married to your best friend, whom you married as a joke in Las Vegas a few years back?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Disgruntled bridesmaid reveals 'always at the gym in 26 minutes' bridezilla and groomzilla asked her to lose weight ahead of their fit and trim wedding so that the wedding pictures will be more "symmetric"
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
"FEMA looks woefully understaffed and unprepared as hurricane season ramps up." REPEAT
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Remember when schools tried to ban Bart Simpson t-shirts in the '90s?
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
What is "much-needed good news," Alex?
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Aussie aviation body with no sense of adventure investigating custom giant drone flight carrying "flying fisherman"
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Human remains found near Lake Tapps. See, this is why I only swim in Lake Yakety Sax
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Confused Welshman decides that the best way to transport his old junker auto to the scrapyard is ... to strap it to the roof of his current car and hope for the best. With video
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Lily)
 
 
 
Victim of sexual assault expelled from school for "sexual impropriety". Same school also rules that shooting victims should be charged with stealing bullets
source: thelily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
First Hasbro owns Death Row Records, now Billy Corgan owns NWA? What is the world coming to?
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop Bernie Sanders' first pitch
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Spectacular eruption in Stromboli sends residents fleeing. No word on German scientist, his nephew, or their porter
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Someone took their dinghy out during Hurricane Dorian. It didn't go well
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
This Halloween, complete your look with the HOO-HAW on your face Available now where Halloween makeup is sold
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Colorado couple fought off a bear in their home with their fists. Bear hands, if you will
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Court rules that finger guns are illegal in Pennsylvania
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
A Picasso or a Garfunkel
source: kitchener.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Lego playsets now accessible to the blind, sleepy barefoot adults
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
So never wash your clothes, that's the lesson I'm getting here
source: wbur.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Well digger accidentally invents elephant trap (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(France 24)
 
 
 
Here's a phrase you probably thought you'd never see in an article about Iran and the biggest political scandal to hit the conservative Islamic Republic in 40 years: "leaked sex tapes"
source: observers.france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The tragic story of the first car-crash victim, which was closely followed by the story of the first rejected car insurance claim
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1533, Spanish conquistador Francisco Pizarro executed the last Incan Emperor, after defeating his armies. The Incans, having never seen guns or cannon, had no way of expecting the Spanish Ammunition
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Hurricane Dorian is just determined to ruin Labor Day in Florida
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
One minute you're searching for a job on Craigslist and the next you're defending El Chapo and Jeffrey Epstein
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsChannel 5 Nashville)
 
 
 
Bring the marshmallows and graham crackers - LOTS of them
source: newschannel5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
A look at what's going to happen when someone commits a major crime ... in spaaaaace
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
School lunch? Cookies, chips and pizza. Duh
source: offspring.lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
That "no nitrates added" label you see used at the deli? Yeah, it's actually more along the lines of "yeah, we added nitrates, but they're different nitrates from the ones we normally use so it's all totes cool"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tasty meal
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
Weeners
 
From the Fark-ready headlines vault: Volunteers polish giant's erection by hand
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
Boobies
 
Man complains that he's not allowed into his local convenience store without a shirt on, but his bikini-clad wife is. Article includes helpful picture explaining why
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Video shows naked murder suspect chasing police officer, needs more Yakety Sax
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Dust off your internet GEDs in law. Councilman charged with 4th DUI, attorney said it will be treated as a first, because rules. Bonus, you can tell in TFA, there is a Golden Girl Easter egg
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Who lowers your inhibitions at the party? SPONGEBOB ECSTASY
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
It ain't easy to look furious about a shower that's incorrectly installed, but damn if this dude won't give it the old college try (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman who fatally stabbed boyfriend 39 times during sex game is released from prison after 18 years, can't wait to take another stab at the dating scene
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Which one of you military Farkers scheduled a laser tag party for this weekend and bounced the check for the arena deposit?
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man fails to flush toilet. Suddenly, machete
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
♫♬ Love Train soon will be making another run. The Love Train promises something for everyone ♫♬
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAVY Virginia)
 
 
 
My eyes are down here
source: wavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Smack crackle popped
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
Should've let it go, man. She's not coming back
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 747: "Airplane". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 28, 2019
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Toyota: Man, first you're all angry that our airbags might explode and kill everyone, and now you're all angry that they don't inflate enough in an accident. There's just no pleasing you people
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
No
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(University of Texas)
 
 
 
"That's what I love about these college girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age"
source: news.utexas.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"Vaping kills" possibly downgraded to "Vaping THC oil of an unknown origin kills"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Former MSU doctor & convicted sexual abuser Larry Nassar is trying again to appeal his child pornography sentence saying that a lifetime ban on contact with minors is unconstitutional and deprive him of "more liberty than is reasonably necessary"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Gov. Ron DeSantis declares a State of Florida
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crowd
source: ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Australian officials warn of bushfire danger. Roam, love shack still ok
source: amp.theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space Coast Daily)
 
 
 
Check out Kevin's giant trouser snake
source: spacecoastdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you are able bodied enough to attempt kidnapping maybe you shouldn't be eligible for a handicap parking placard
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Welsh firefighters still responding to more 'cow stuck in bog' calls than actual fires (pics)
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Apollo 11 astronaut states the obvious, UFO nuts go wild in 3...2...1 (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bridge
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Skull of male Lucy relative found in Ethiopia. Security blanket found nearby
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
Doctors save a carpenter's hand by attaching it to his groin, so in other words no real change for him
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Kid with autism throws epic tantrum on United Airlines jet. Rather than kick him off, flight attendants go above and beyond to cater to his needs. To be fair, they did confuse him for a 1K elite frequent flyer
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Department of Justice)
 
 
 
Florida Man gets upgrade to "Drug Kingpin"
source: justice.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Sentimental mug is the only thing stolen in bizarre home burglary, says homeowner, who eagerly awaits the thief's mug shots
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Man who looks absolutely stoned shares "marijuana facts" on Fox News. Larry Kudlow wanted for slurring comments
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump's lawyers are threatening legal action against MSNBC and Lawrence O'Donnell for reporting that Trump had Russian co-signers on his loans. Anyone else smell a setup here?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Come take a tour of Epstein's pedo mansion. See the naked ladies on the wall, and check out the art too
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Satellite images suggest that North Korea has grown tired of launching missiles AT the ocean, and now is going to try to launch them from UNDER the ocean
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Somebody killed 42 burros in the Mojave. Subby is impressed, as the best he's been able to do is four chimichangas and a couple of soft tacos
source: beta.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Thank God, someone thought about the rabbit
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
So you're drunk, wearing headphones and vomiting on an active subway track. What's the worst that can happen? (w/ video of the worst thing amazingly not happening)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Burning Man aims to be carbon negative. Not burning stuff would be a good start
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Caption Abraham Lincoln being chased by the cops
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic TV)
 
 
 
New Smyrna Beach in Florida is the shark attack capital of the world according to ISAF. It is estimated that anyone who has swam there has been within 10ft of a shark
source: natgeotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLOX Biloxi)
 
 
 
Florida expecting Labor Day hurricane. This is not a repeat from 1935
source: wlox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Wait, the words 'porn star' has SEXUAL connotations? Who knew?
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Bardstown, Kentucky, 'The Most Beautiful Small Town in America,' harbors a dark secret: five unsolved murders in six years. In their defense, it's hard to solve crime in a place where everyone is charisma based and has INT and WIS as dump stats
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
It's Freddie Mercury, if Freddy Mercury had been a pork chop
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Finally, a Bible everybody should read
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
"Queen suspends Parliament" in the oddest band fusion ever
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Want to measure your disgusting habits against everyone else? Of course you do
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Loverboy was wrong Pig and elephant DNA will splice (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
In a smack down match pitting Mrs. 'Stone Cold Steve Austin' against Mr. Jiu-Jitsu, the winner and loser get jail time
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Here we go again. Parents are concerned about short lunch times for their precious -- wait a sec, is this a real school schedule? Things have changed
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Wino)
 
 
 
Today is National Red Wine Day. According to researchers, 12% of Americans have put down an entire bottle of wine by ourselves. Pfft...amateurs
source: nationaltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Soaked to the skin and covered in mud is no way to go through a family photoshoot, son (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
New details on Russia's mysterious missile disaster suggests they might have a Chernobyl 2.0: Nuclear Boogaloo
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beluga whale trying to have a snack
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(American Kennel Club)
 
 
 
Some say a dog is man's best friend, but a group of four conservation biologists and ecologist believe dogs could also help make the world a greener place. Meet some of the Working Dogs for Conservation this Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: akc.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Missed out on your chance to own the Fark chicken? You still have time to bid on these full scale Union Pacific locomotives
source: bidspotter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
You know it's a slow news day when a 7lb, 14.6oz grapefruit the size of a basketball makes the AP news wire
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
TV anchor compares cohost to new gorillas at the zoo, goes about as well as you'd expect
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The Imperial Parliament will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word that the Queen has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Democracy have been swept away
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Ten beers and twelve gauges don't mix
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Amelia Earhart's last flight was probably out the back end of a massive coconut crab the size of a small dog
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
It has become troublingly easy for people to buy cheetahs on social media, apparently
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Back to basics: U.S. Army to redouble efforts to teach soldiers to shoot straight
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Uh, guys? Islamic State is still a big farking problem
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Please note: when taking a test drive of a new car from a dealership, you are required to eventually let the salesman out of the car
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Today in it's NOT news about alcoholism: Ireland consumes 80% more alcohol than the global average. ***hiccup***
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Zion sees exodus, God knows why
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 27, 2019
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Here is the church, here is the steeple. Everything's burning, call the fire people
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
City Official is watching you poop...and testing the results
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Iranian-backed bloc in Iraqi parliament claims US 'fully responsible' for Israel attacks, having apparently not noticed that we haven't been remotely responsible for a while over here
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Sales of tweed water wings and stout leather pool noodles expected to skyrocket (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Wisconsin lawmakers want to set a minimum age for looking like a total douchebag
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Stamp-making company sells out of anti-groping UV hand stamps in under an hour, vows to check on its inventory more often
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atomic Scientists Bulletin)
 
 
 
Facebook to world: Truth is a choice
source: thebulletin.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Teachers in Florida can go stare at dolphins and whales for free all year long now. Thanks SeaWorld
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
5.7 million kids water bottles sold at Target and Walmart recalled for choking hazard, because, if a sea creature chokes on plastic, that's one thing. Turtles can't sue
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Compton and Long Beach, together yeah you knew we were trouble
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 29 Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Assuming looking at their property tax bills doesn't do the trick, NJ residents can kill themselves again
source: fox29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
There's yoga, then there's EXTREEEEEEMMMMME yoga
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Kusudama origami
source: live.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: You are hereby ordered to read about how our auction turned out
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Like typical lazy weed smokers, it has taken scientists 50 years to kick their dirt weed dealing hookup to the curb and find a new connect
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Can cops, judge demand passcode to search your mobile phone, even though it's not relevant to your case, requires you to make a statement? Let's find out
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
A school in Australia has gotten rid of garbage cans because students will totally take their trash home with them and not stuff it in their lockers all year
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Former Viking city installs helpful "Pillage/Don't Pillage" signal lights
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Woman who volunteers with a missing persons organization goes missing. Talk about dedication
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
In a move probably everyone should have seen coming, the US forest service is closing Snake Road in Southern Illinois until October due to
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
After 15 years, New Hampshire DMV decides that PB4WEGO is not ok
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Suddenly, tidal wave
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KITV Honolulu)
 
 
 
New exoplanet is like a bad Miley Cyrus song
source: kitv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Registered sex offender found walking naked down the street told cops he was forced to by his drug dealer because he owed him $350
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If a doctor tells you to poop in a cup, just do it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
It's pretty sad when the conspiracy theorists are predicting the actual news but here we are: There was a security camera directly outside Jeffrey Epstein's cell, but, for some unexplained reason, a "glitch" has rendered footage from it "unusable"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
What's better than a vintage 1980s Porche 911 Carrera? This
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Second-generation lesbian faces new challenge after her partner comes out as a trans man and now everyone thinks they're just another straight couple
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Craigslist)
 
 
 
Why would you need a criminal back ground check to rent a storage unit, even in Florida. Do they disqualify you if you've got no convictions?
source: tampa.craigslist.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Merriam-Webster)
 
 
 
Irregardless of how you feel about it, It's literally time to stop complaining about how people use the word Literally. Its just something your going to have to deal with
source: merriam-webster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Purdue Pharma offers $10-12 billion to settle opioid claims, instead of the more popular option of sending the entire Sackler family to Jail for life
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
You know it's hot out when the crime everyone in town is talking about is a Dilly Bar heist
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Liven up this old brick wall
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Maybe don't start school in August?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Good afternoon, everyone - this is your cockpit speaking. If you look out to the left, you'll see the ancient city of Vigo in the distance. By the way, does anybody know how to fly a plane?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Eight times in history art forgers totally got away with it (at least for a while)
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Shriners forced to cancel beloved sandwich sales at State Fair after thefts. So if you've been hankering to find a little man in a car with a big helping of roast beef, you're on your own
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The latest out of Russia: strontium-91, barium-139, barium-140, and lanthanum-140
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
That ridiculous "news" circulating on the net that Hasbro Toys now owns Death Row Records. Snopes rides to the rescue and finds that ... it's actually true
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Travel to Ethiopia for the food and culture, stay for the bubbling hyper-acidic green sulphur pools
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Graffiti artist Stan 153 has died. remains to be mixed, sprayed upon walls in NYC
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral. I'm a newly titled Consort of the King and that's historical. Come see me in a fighter jet made up to look adorable
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Dirt)
 
 
 
Not News: Harvard-educated doctor files a complaint against a racist cop who repeatedly asked her if she understood English because she's Asian. News: Cop gets fired. Fark: as do six more cops because the complaint uncovered massive time card fraud
source: techdirt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The first Amazon employees are beginning to arrive in Northern Virginia, and it's turning into every bit the clusterfark that critics said it would be
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Web tool analyzes your personality type based on tweets. Subby decided to run President Trump's Twitter handle through it. Tag for the results (posted in comments)
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Puerto Rico declares state of emergency ahead of tropical storm Dorian before Hurricane Trump hits it
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Suddenly, Chupacabra
source: strangesounds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Ceiling thief is watching you shop
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nightmare fuel: The opening of the first Costco in China
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
By now, we all know that the Amazon is on fire. Just how bad is it? Really, really bad, and it's getting worse. Sleep well
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
In today's WTF moment, it turns out that a lot of modern medicine relies on sucking the blood out of crabs
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Look at the bright side: your kid will have the best Chewbacca costume ever (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Photographer sets out to take some moody snaps of a bridge in the fog, gets something 100% crazier (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Secure your load, troopers say, or your mattress might blow away
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Nashville)
 
 
 
Drunk, shoving brisket and a propane tank down your pants, and assaulting the police is no way to go though life, son. Sounds like a hell of a barbecue though
source: fox17.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
CIA not spying on UAE, but NSA is, so FYI keep it on the QT if you don't want a UFIA
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Annual "rolling balls of poop" warning issued for the Great Smokey Mountains
source: amp.charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
Tom's Diner is closing, da da da-dah, da da-da dah, da da da dah dah da-da-dah
source: eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fast food items, fast economic forecasts, and slowly moving things in Iceland are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, August 18-24 Coffee Cup Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Woman uses grinding saw to break into Botox clinic, makes off with anti-aging products. Police reportedly looking for someone named 'Karen'
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bangladesh ends requirement for women to declare whether they are virgins on marriage registration forms. In other news, this is 2019
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The British Veterinary Association (BVA) says some insect-based foods may be better for pets than prime steak. Your dog flees in terror
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this levitating dryer
source: live.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Judge denies order letting unvaccinated kids go to school. Spiffy tag is hospitalized with measles, so Hero tag dons protective mask and fills in
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Mercedes driver and possible demon rams car that was blocking her in near taco truck, returns on foot to assault people in the crowd
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
For those of you with $200mil burning a hole in your pocket, "The Beverly Hillbillies" estate just went on sale again. Financing available through M. Drysdale at The Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Metal detectorists taken ill eating 'cannabis cakes' in High Melton". Good thing they didn't meet in Scoonthorpe
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Convenience store from Kevin Smith's "Clerks" sells winning Powerball ticket. Post any cliche lines to the right
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Couple who ran religious boarding school for boys arrested for abuse, neglect, labor violations, fraud, human trafficking. Will be either prosecuted or deified
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Ireland's 'worst driver' fails driving test twenty times, vows to keep trying until he can find a driving instructor brave enough to stay in the car to pass him
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Shares of big pharma companies jump more than 5% overnight because Johnson & Johnson was ONLY fined $572M for precipitating an opioid crisis across America
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Sometimes discount drugs are not the best option
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
68-year-old man arrested for exposing himself to woman inside Walmart restroom, charges include assault with a dead weapon
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
French photographer comes to America to photograph our strip clubs. Stumbles upon a metaphor for men who spend their days with strippers (video)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
$4 million in diamonds stolen in heist. Man with four fingers and a briefcase sought by police, two crooked diamond dealers, Uzbeki arms dealer, pawn shop owners, and a hoodlum with a false tooth made from a bullet
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
The library: so useful, so quiet, so ... disease-ridden?
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Each year 3500 donated kidneys are thrown away. Lost, like cat food in rain
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
The Farmers' Almanac says we should expect a Polar Coaster this year. They're messing with conservatives, right? To make them sound even more ridiculous when they're like, "Global Warming? Explain how we have a Polar Coaster then"
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
Teen registered people to vote as they waited in endless Popeyes line for new chicken sandwich
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Forty people go to Raging Waters, get their money's worth
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 26, 2019
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
What has been seen cannot be unseen [NSFW-ish]
source: expo.nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
The HOA went all the way to the Virginia Supreme Court over $884 in fines and lost
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Chicago Police report the stagecoach line is once again safe from bushwhackers
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
McFlurry meltdown leads to a filet of fists
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Old, myth-busted: Fake $2 bill at Taco Bell. Hot new menu item: Fake $20 bill at Taco Bell, plus a side of three needles, one loaded with methamphetamine, as well as a meth pipe and a metal container with meth inside. To go
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Now this is instant karma
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Nurses to face charges in Florida nursing home deaths during Hurricane Irma, because even if marijuana is legal you shouldn't let your charges get baked
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Man finally finds out why he's been a pain in the ass for the last 10 years after surgeons remove eight embroidery needles from his buttocks
source: shanghai.ist   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
The train in Des Plaines causes pain to pedestrian
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Johnson & Johnson found guilty & guilty
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Paul's Memory Bank OTR Edition continues. More Stan Freberg, a 6-part Superman adventure (the first featuring Jimmy Olsen) and My Favorite Husband. 'Tune-In' at 8PM EDT
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hungry Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what's for dinner
source: 1czrcoa0bj-flywheel.netdna-ssl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Rogue Instagram moderators are apparently demanding bribes from popular Instagram influencers in return for not deleting their posts
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If you're wanted for unsolved crime, you might not want to apply for job that requires finger-printing. Isn't that right, Florida Man?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
While everyone is watching how The Family has made inroads into the Republican party, the DNC just passed a resolution recognizing atheists and religiously unaffiliated
source: secular.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
I used to be a driver like you, then I took an arrow to the door
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump invokes Chewbacca defense to explain absence from G7 climate meeting
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Huge blaze erupts in San Antonio Harbor in Ibiza, evacuations ongoing. If only there was a source of water nearby that firefighters could use to help put it out (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Do you know what else you never forget how to do once you've learned it?
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Congratulations on your new law firm, Sarah
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
In a very special Little House on the Prairie, Hmong immigrants helped save Walnut Grove but now their kids are bailing
source: mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Not content with just harmlessly snorting H like Subby's generation, kids these days are simply getting more high on weed
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
If you don't have a motorcycle license, it's probably best not to take one 100mph through the Florida Keys. "Police said they were able to find the clothes (the suspect) had been wearing during the pursuit under a kayak"
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this thing lurking in the woods
source: live.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Your dog wants steak, but does not want to wash it down with a side of NYC pond water
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
An analysis of how long it takes Americans to forget about their last mass shoot-- OMG did you hear about Mel B showering with her dog???
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AM New York)
 
Boobies
 
On display at annual Free the Nips parade in NYC. This was Sunday, so West Coast Farkers should be getting home right around the time this headline is greened
source: amny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook