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Sun August 25, 2019
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
DidgeriDON'T
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
The giant Banksy at Dover lamenting Britain leaving the EU has mysteriously vanished from the side of the building it appeared on. The fact that the building is owned by the same family that tried to sell another Banksy is completely coincidental
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Gas explosion blows up shopping mall area, no one is injured. Thanks, Amazon
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(That)
 
 
 
Photoshop this
source: ca-times.brightspotcdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy Yelp rating. Give us this day our daily breakfast buffet. And forgive us our bill by 10%, as we present thy promo code
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Chicago PD have a new tool to track gun suspects but some people have a problem with it
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hong Kong police now firing live bullets. Well, that escalated quickly
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Wait, there are filthy savages who don't wash the bottom of plates?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Leaked documents reveal the government of Brazil isn't being inept in its response to the Amazon fires, it's actively sabotaging conservation efforts so they can build bridges, a highway, and a hydroelectric plant
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ordnance
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Not news: Burglar alarm goes off at house. Still not news: Police show up. What the hell, Raleigh?: Police arrest black homeowner at gunpoint and walk him to police car in his underwear
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It's not the fossil fuel industry that is killing the wildlife in the west. They're being loved to death by all you damn hikers. Back to the couch with all of you
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yonhap News (Korea))
 
 
 
Sooner or later, Poseidon is going to get a bit annoyed at his realm constantly being attacked by some maniac with a terrible haircut and a bad suit
source: en.yna.co.kr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
... I got better
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Cluster of UFOs spotted over Crimea. Are they A) Spooky Bible stuff, B) Russian UFO weapons, or C) Flares? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
What's in this 1969 time capsule? Nothing. Yet
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Birthday party supplies for your 2-year-old's party: cake, balloons, bulletproof vests
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Post)
 
 
 
It's not the going to church, it's the going to church potlucks
source: christianpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Fox guest falls for the Becky story
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UK hopes to allow water bottles on planes by 2022, and it will only cost a mere $50M per airport
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Forty-four people decide to take a hike in 110-plus degree heat. This is Fark, so you know what happens next
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Twenty-five percent of Brits are stockpiling food and medicine ahead of Brexit. That's a lot of mushy peas
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
♫ Get up you're asleep at the wheel / Get up you're asleep at the wheel / Get up you're asleep at the wheel ♫
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Aaron Burr had children of color. Well, I imagine so; I've seen "Hamilton"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 24, 2019
(NOAA)
 
 
 
Attention, Florida Farkers: if you have hurricane shutters for your house, now would be a good time to dig them out
source: nhc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Vegan college professor is trying to save newborn lambs from slaughter, rescue Catherine Martin from Buffalo Bill
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Wayward clown or possibly late night nitrous enthusiast speeds away from cops, crashes into own garage, winds up on Fark
source: nbcboston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
Let's see how Flint, MI is doing since we stopped talking about them...oh, dear
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colorado State University)
 
 
 
Photoshop this organ
source: libarts.colostate.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFDM Port Arthur)
 
 
 
Til death do us----*CRASH*
source: kfdm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Fukushima crabs"? Excellent
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Aw, hell no
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
There's a job opening in the Trump administration
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pretzel
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
"Delta flight DL0975 is now sitting at Gate 12 ... and sitting ... and sitting ... and sitting ... and sitting ... and sitting ... and sitting ... and sitting ... and sitting ... and sitting ... and sitting ... and sitting ... and sitting ... "
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop these soccer players
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Couple's cat steals the show as groomsman in his very own tuxedo at their wedding. These people must be familiar with Caturday
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Florida (teacher) Man tells his students how, if he were a school shooter, he'd kill at least a thousand people. Says he'd include bombs packed with nails... but, don't worry, he hasn't thought about it at all
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Composite sketch of rapist released. Last seen heading to Mordor with two short guys
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
How a Florida boy can become a Florida man
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Good taste in theaters. Bad taste in movies
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Astronaut caught being astronaughty
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Felon with $1,000 in cash, drug paraphernalia, handguns, 500 stamp bags of heroin, 50 ecstasy pills, 50 hits of LSD, 1 ounce of methamphetamine, 10 grams of cocaine, suboxone, mushrooms, molly and marijuana, is enterprising, but busted
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Jury: "We award the plaintiff $22 million due to the brutality suffered at the hands of police." Police: "Can we have a do-over?" New Jury: "Sure, we award the plaintiff $50 million"
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Attended the World Hip-Hop Dance Championship? You may have caught more than just the rhythm
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Glad the Flux Capacitor didn't kick in
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Good: Prince William flew economy airline to set environmental example. Bad: Airline flew empty jet to make trip because they want the right logo on the Royal flight, causing extra 4.5 tons of carbon emissions
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHSV Harrisonburg)
 
 
 
Virginia man turns liquor store into farmers market
source: whsv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
He's just pining for the fjords
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 23, 2019
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Couldn't be fired, but....can be sued
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Driving your dad's high-end rented Audi sports car through two sets of gates, then crossing a busy road and ramming it through a wall leaving an incredible trail of destruction is no way to go through life, son
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cowichan Valley Citizen)
 
 
 
Firefighters spend one hour extinguishing fire at marijuana growing facility, four more hours with some Doritos, man
source: cowichanvalleycitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
Police chase involving e-scooter ends in e-tazing, e-shooting
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"How do you forget a baby in a hot car?" wonders mother arrested for leaving her baby in a hot car
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Baby dances to 'Baby Got Back' from inside the womb. Can't decide if it's cute or scary
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
It was eight years ago today that Virginia was rocked by a massive, 5.8 earthquake. Share your survivor's story, Virginia Farkers. Did you rebuild? Are you still rebuilding? Has anyone picked up that lawn chair yet?
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Officer claims he was fired for invoking the Billy Graham Rule and now no other law enforcement agency will hire him
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
The latest in "It would be an unbelievable joke in 1999" headlines: Hasbro now owns Death Row Records. Mr Potato Head and Rich Uncle Pennybags nod to the beat while sippin' on gin and juice
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Create a new water toy
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tallahassee Democrat)
 
 
 
Honestly, who would be so dishonest as to steal an Honest bike. Florida man, that's who
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
These guys figured out how to make over $100,000 from rewards points at a rural Maine gas station
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
New Orleans neighborhood: Why do we keep flooding so damn much? New Orleans drainage inspectors: Well, here's your problem (pulls mid-size sedan from underground drain)
source: wwl.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
People in the North Carolina mountains are taking their right to bear arms a little too seriously
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Who is it?" "Danger Noodle, let me in"
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
Lord of the Seven burns surreal pattern into the green
source: pilotonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Sheesh, not another TV show where chefs are shot in the face with a cannon full of food (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
From mosquitos to vipers to police who want to remove you from your island, being a modern-day hermit ain't easy
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pit viper
source: snakebuddies.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Wall Street Journal investigation declares Amazon to be dangerous to society. No, no, not the forest fire
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jamaica Observer)
 
 
 
Bringing back honey from Jamaica? That's 82 days in jail, Betty Naughtwite
source: jamaicaobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
I know people like to criticize WaPo around here, but they're a serious paper doing serious journalism. Like this listicle featuring totes real 1-star reviews of world wonders posted online by critics. Nobody's done that before, right?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Business Insider has found Jeffrey Epstein's social media accounts. To say the least, he had a very on-brand taste in music
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(41 Action News)
 
 
 
Woman goes to doctor thinking she's got water in her ear. Doctor pulls out a nope instead
source: kshb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenwood Index-Journal)
 
 
 
South Carolina Dairy Queen disappoints Charlton Heston with their latest denial
source: indexjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man high on drugs wields machete, last time he used an axe. Sounds like his inventory is mostly melee weapons, hope he doesn't have a halberd
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
Woman steals stroller, immediately forgets why
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Remembering the time when a raging bull climbed a Scottish mountain, and there's no way he was goin' down. He don't go down for nobody
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
There actually was a Nigerian Prince scam, and it worked
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cheat Sheet)
 
 
 
Prince Andrew would disturb his mum's horses / The grooms they would throw such a fit / They'd just get out their shovels / and cover him in a big pile of ... Shaving Cream / be nice and clean / shave every day and you'll always look keen
source: cheatsheet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Caption Boris Johnson yapping it up with the ladies
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRN Nashville)
 
 
 
Woman reels in fish with 2 mouths (w/ pic). When mounted like a Big Mouth Billy Bass, will sing "Take Me To The River" in harmony
source: wkrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
China says that the U.S. selling advanced F-16s to Taiwan will do nothing but make American fighter jet makers rich because China has overwhelming air superiority...but they will be SUPER pissed if the sale goes through
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 8000 La Crosse)
 
 
 
Uh, ma'am? This is a booking photo, not a glamour shot
source: news8000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
"Golfing in Florida is just different" Especially when a 7-foot alligator strolls near your ball before you take a shot
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Accidentally shooting a gun in your apartment, claiming the hole in the wall was caused by a screwdriver, and then taking your frustration out at work by sexually harassing subordinates is no way to go through life, your honor
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Australian man puts up small poster at coffee shop declaring himself "customer of the week," and then things escalate quickly
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
What 36 holes might look like in Pasco County
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
I woke up this morning to a stiff Koch
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop what the president is revealing
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Overcock.ru
source: video.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ACLU)
 
 
 
Louisiana sheriff's office explains why they held a U.S. citizen who produced a driver's license, Social Security card and PASSPORT on an immigration detainer: See he had a Hispanic surname, and they had a "policy" to assume all Latinx were illegal
source: aclu.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Don't get up Sunday to go to church? That's a guitar beating, boys
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Prince Andrew got a foot massage from a young woman at Epstein's NY apartment
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Ship's on fire, yo
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVAL Eugene)
 
 
 
Woman rescued from a septic tank after "two or three days." Subby doesn't even have a shiatty joke to make about that
source: kval.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong: Traffic Court Edition
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 22, 2019
(Time)
 
 
 
Mountain Lions are getting into the face eating game in Colorado
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
2,800-year-old stone tablet provides more detail on a Biblically-referenced Moabite rebellion against the Kingdom of Israel. Netanyahu immediately invades Gaza in retaliation
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Michigan high school being renovated to make shootings more difficult with curved and zigzag corridors, decreased line of sight into classrooms, and safe spaces for duck and cover
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Army says secretive warfare training is planned in 21 North Carolina Counties. Clearly more training is needed
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Badass ship's captain who has rescued thousands of migrants in the Mediterranean sea and faces 20 years in prison in Italy for "aiding illegal immigration" refuses a medal for bravery from Paris, pointing out they ain't any better than Italy on this
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New York man gets the shaft
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A concerned Fresno Police Chief has serious questions after bodycam footage shows an officer punching an unarmed teenager repeatedly without cause. Questions like "why didn't they turn their body cams off?" and "Why didn't you all lose the footage?"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when your depression sinks deeper and deeper, until you can no longer even ride your scooter, and it still takes four years for road crews to get around to fixing it?
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Elephants not cause of gas leak at San Diego Zoo
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this following
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
The obituary claims the 94 year old was the best Lay on the reservation, and the account her adventures support that claim
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Five Killed in One Day of Shootings in New York City." Or, as New Yorkers from the 1980s call it, "The safest day of the year"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1776, British Redcoats under the command of General Howe landed at Long Island. Who? No, Howe. Well, they marched, I assume. What?
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asbury Park Press)
 
 
 
MTV is really upping their game this season
source: app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
'Nine Facts about Shark Attacks' somehow manages to miss the important 'never answer the door for a singing telegram if you're not expecting it' tip
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
"Infant to Work" program expanded. Good, I was getting tired of those little slackers not carrying their weight
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
Alaska Paratrooper dies after crashing motorcycle into guardrail. Unclear if deflated kickball was involved
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
FAA expected to change certification rules after 737MAX crashes, logo to empty barn with doors wide open
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
San Francisco eliminates all criminals and addicts. Oh, there are still plenty around, you just can't call them that anymore
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVN Reno)
 
 
 
No injuries reported after small plane crashes at Oroville Airport. Captain Mercer inconsolable
source: ktvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
When wearing crotchless undies for a date goes horribly wrong (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Lincoln
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Help the city of Eugene, OR name three new waterfront streets. Difficulty: No Roady McRoadface
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The Fortunate Rake?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
An ode to the hottest makeup counter in NYC: the Port Authority bathroom
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Oh, that policy about not sleeping with students still applies during the summer break? Oops
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
:( Your lieutenant has run into a problem that it couldn't handle, and now it needs to restart
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida deputy shot unarmed woman and lied about it, Federal prosecutors say. On the bright side, she was not shot by the sheriff, so maybe she can get an inverted version of that Bob Marley song going
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Wait, there is a such thing as a Skittles manicure?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Federal audit finds that over $1 billion in fines have not produced any positive changes in coal mine safety or owner behavior. This either means fines and regulations don't work, or that "over $1 billion in fines" isn't actually that big a number
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
We would not want to imply ownership (NSFW)
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Former Little League player: "uh, yeah, I'm looking for this ump I flipped off in the '80s?"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
Weeners
 
Warning: Getting shot through the tip of your penis may cause uneven erections, soreness (with possibly awkward for work x-ray image)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
If you subscribe to the biggest conspiracy theories around Area 51, you might just be so out there you'll never come back
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Microplastics in drinking water 'don't appear to pose health risk,' WHO says?" Exactly
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OnFocus)
 
 
 
Wisconsin man wants you to know that not all drunk drivers are goofy idiots that fall down during sobriety tests: sometimes, they lead police on a high speed chase and then crash into a building, causing a gas leak. Not the farty kind, either
source: onfocus.news   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(14 News Evansville)
 
 
 
The 2019 overzealous staffer roundup is currently in process
source: 14news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Click here
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Crocodile given by Fidel Castro to a Russian cosmonaut bites man at a crayfish party in Stockholm - Madlibs or actual event?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
A million dollars for you, if you can just prove we don't exist, say entire town of German wackos (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Bison smashes car in under 40 seconds. Perfect. Collects 30,000 points
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Video
 
Rare film of Monet, Renoir, Rodian, and Degas found. Shows their time before becoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
source: chonday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Your local police department has a friendly reminder: Don't "get white girl wasted while drinking that fruity water and do something stupid"
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: Quibbling over the distinction between hitting someone once and "attacking" them is a moot point when you're a master of the One Punch Death Strike move
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Caption these studious golf fans
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida Man coaxes sperm from coral in laboratory, in scientific breakthrough that could save coral reefs
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Gunman on the run after shooting deputy, evading capture, prompting a rare 'douche on the loose' alert
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Russia coughs, waves away clouds of radioactive smoke, demands United Nations Security Council meeting after U.S. tests new missile
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Khan rules out Kashmir talks with India, possibly because he's no longer interested in being a traveler of both time and space after being stranded on Ceti Alpha V this long
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Some addiction clinics are marketing an IV infusion called NAD therapy to patients even though it's neither FDA-approved or clinically proven to work, but they figure these people have proven they'll shoot ANYTHING into their veins, so
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDW News Today)
 
 
 
You can dress up like Luke, BB-8, or Ren at Disney StarWarsLand. Chewbacca, Stormtroopers, and Stimpy are right out
source: wdwnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
It's official: Swearingen is dead you farking corksuckers
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
If the Amazon collapses - which Bolsonaro's "smoke 'em if you got 'em" policies practically guarantee - the carbon released would be equivalent to all human carbon output since 1880
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good News Network)
 
 
 
We've finally figured out how to bring peace to the Middle East: plant a lot of trees. Or maybe we're just misunderstanding the study
source: goodnewsnetwork.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man sparks fire on his roof using a Roman candle to get rid of a pesky hornet's nest
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(How Stuff Works)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: Combine a well-known meme with a classic work of art. LGT famous paintings with a really easy quiz in case you want to feel smrt while looking for inspiration (SFW as long as you don't work with incredibly uptight prudes)
source: play.howstuffworks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
"This is how mass shootings happen. I have mental problems." Is not the proper response to a prayer call in a church
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIMT 3)
 
 
 
Man gets pulled over, tells the cops there's a half-naked blonde locked in his trunk, and somehow that works out for him
source: kimt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Russia launches humanoid robot named FEDOR into space, so far he says "everything is normal" on his journey in a tweet. He's expected to dock at the ISS on Saturday with medical supplies and food rations for the crew. No word on vodak shipment
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
40 pedophile priests named in church investigation. Maybe 50. No. Walt. I'll come in again
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mail.com)
 
 
 
Wealthy, well-connected sexual predator gaming the system? Say it isn't so
source: mail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring Banana Coke
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Cleveland cop goes full R. Kelly at a school bus stop and films it
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
114 + 114
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear who climbed upon a barber's chair but didn't lose a single hair, so Fuzzy Wuzzy was still fuzzy was he?
source: edmonton.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Another mass shooter stopped- that's what five so far this week?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Cocaindergarten
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Lions receive the death penalty for exhibiting lion-like behavior
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
"Here's the deal. We can arrest you and claim you were on drugs, or we can let people know you're so stupid as to think Band-Aids can repair a tire with a split sidewall"
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 746: "Totally Tubular". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 21, 2019
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Arkansas's Crater of Diamonds pays out again
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
When police saw the body laying on on air mattress covered in blood, they knew that something was not on the level
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for putting recyclables in black bags and not the correct orange colored bags, will now discover in jail that orange is the new black
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vail Daily)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Accused wilderness snowmobiler's plane is now at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean"
source: vaildaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kaiser Heath News)
 
 
 
A knee-replacement surgery is so much cheaper to do in Cancun that insurance will pay for all travel costs, for patient and doctor, and a $5,000 incentive upon return and still save money. Shoot, Subby doesn't need both knees, sign me up
source: khn.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Technically, it's a mass shooting on the campus of an HBCU. But it's too small a mass shooting to make it on the evening news these days
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Helsinki Times (Finland))
 
 
 
"Chickens in choppers, this is Finnish feral bovines calling. Over"
source: helsinkitimes.fi   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sunny day
source: tonycraddockjr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Watch that poutine - it's hot. $187,000 worth of cheese stolen from Canadian dairy
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Priest spent $98,000 to have sex with adult men. Everybody else cool with this or just Subby?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
A two-year relationship ends in violence. Clearly the dating app that introduced the couple is to blame (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Schrödinger's India is simultaneously out of water and experiencing record monsoon rainfall
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Please to show my your bobs and vagene
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
The Adventures of Buckaroo Canine Across The Captivate Communication
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hey, is that a drone? Yemen
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this athlete
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Irish woman in search of her doppelgänger incredibly finds not one but TWO doppelgängers living just down the road from her in Dublin. In related news: Irish woman living in Dublin finally finds out her dad really slept around locally
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
12-year-old bitten by shark at beach, doo doo doo doo doo
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Police help accident victim and discover his arsenal, white supremacist literature, pounds of drugs, previous felony record, and one heck of an owner's manual
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
I do, take two as guy with dementia re-marries wife he had forgotten about (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Here are 10 facts about Area 51 for your next conspiracy theory breakfast meeting
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WECT Wilmington)
 
 
 
Looks like someone working with the government's secret weather-making machines noticed Fark's 'There have been no hurricanes in the Atlantic this year' thread from yesterday
source: wect.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Hutchinson Bridge is falling down, falling... well actually, it just collapsed
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
"Pen Pineapple Apple Pen" singer's music career takes a dark turn
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
No, Amazon doesn't really want to put human beings in cages to protect them from machines. They're just blatantly abusing the patent system, like every other corporation
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Cables on a slingshot ride snap just seconds before it launches. Of course, it happened in Florida and it was caught on video
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
News: Judge rules cocaine is legal to use in Mexico. Fark: for only two people
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman claims people who get time off of work for dead pets are exploiting bereavement policies
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Two-year-old has a playhouse that's fancier than your actual house. Sorry. Correction. She has two of them (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Please stand clear of the open train door which could be very dangerous as the train is travelling at 280km/h. Thank you"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
First people to visit wreck of the Titanic in 15 years say ship is deteriorating rapidly. "That whole deck house on that side is collapsing, taking with it the state rooms. And that deterioration is going to continue advancing"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Truck carrying fuel crashed and ignited near the town of Cereal, causing other cars to snap, crackle, and pop
source: calgary.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida man learns to his chagrin that the motorized scooters at Walmart have just enough battery to go about a mile away from the store
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bikers
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Columbus Barks, Columbus Barks! Welcome to this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Nice Guys)
 
 
 
Faith in humanity restored, firefighter edition
source: outline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Independent)
 
 
 
I told you owning 17 cats doesn't mean I'm crazy *laughs maniacally* *licks cat*
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Say what you want but he at least had goals: start a race war, eliminate a whole race in three years, outlaw Spanish. "I Thank God everyday President Donald John Trump is President and that he will launch a Racial War and Crusade"
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Catholic priest loses sex appeal
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
The alcohol industry is being impacted negatively by the legal narcotics industry
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Thanks to anti-vaxxers, the measles outbreak hits 30 states
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The most important ecosystem on the planet has been burning at an unprecedented rate for three weeks and nobody has noticed
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Famous Brooklyn pizzeria closes after realizing it'll never be as good as Chicago. Also something about $167,000 in unpaid taxes
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Paradise by the sewage truck lights
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
A snake got loose at a Newark Airport security checkpoint on Monday. Almost made a sequel
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Philadelphia Police Commissioner resigns because , spins the wheel of fortune.... of sexual harassment allegations
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
The Trumps are really pushing to secure that southern vote, name newest member of the family "Carolina"
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 20, 2019
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Man in search for fresh pants after nine storey elevator drop
source: edmonton.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(41 Action News)
 
 
 
Man finds life-size female doll in dumpster, proceeds to drag it home. Panic and Hilarity ensue
source: kshb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
Straight from the desk of reporter Kitty Meows: How Dogs Are Becoming One of The World's Most Harmful Predators. Cats rule, dogs drool
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Happy little state park signs
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
You had one job railroad conductor. One job -- open the doors on the side of the train facing the platform
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
When should 3-year-old kids start dieting, using CBD oil? According to these Parents of the Year candidates, after being diagnosed with leukemia
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Uncle of the year candidate promises to only shoot nephew in the leg, and NOT kill him, over cuckoo kerflufle
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Unless your name is Peter Parker you really shouldn't try to escape hotel security by leaping between balconies
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Suddenly, EGGCEPTION (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Unlike the victims of its family separation policy, CBP Press Secretary Katharine Gorka to soon be spending more time together with her kids
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
China: "Stop building those missiles that are just like ones we've been building for years, you warmongers"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
"Zombie bus" crashes just feet away from cheering crowd in southern Indiana. And the zombie bus trifecta is in play
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
I cant believe anyone would try to impersonate a police officer using an air horn and the emergency lights of their Nissan Sentra. But then there is Hicksville man
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Military tech comes from many sources. Defense contractors, trade with foreign governments, furries, resear-wait what?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
If you've ever thought there aren't enough boat/plane accidents, today is your lucky day. Not so much for the boats and plane
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: You can own Fark's rubber chicken. Rubber chicken? I hardly know 'er
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Sao Paulo plunged into sudden, unexplained darkness, thrilling local lamb's blood retailers
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this yellow smoke
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS8 San Diego)
 
 
 
Great, now I'll have to move the sex dungeon. Thanks a lot, HOA
source: cbs8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Florida man sets record after streaming Runescape for 542 hours in one month. Hard mode: Still has a girlfriend
source: dexerto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Castration fetish: When the thrill of women's shoes is gone
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Camping at upcoming Phish concert in Colorado canceled due to plague infested fleas. Authorities unsure if fleas came from prairie dogs or Phish fans. Red Hot Chili Peppers sought for questioning
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Apparently it was one sound he did not hear coming
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Pop quiz: You were just in a motorcycle accident. Do you A) Make sure you get out of the road B) Call 911 or C) Arrange product placement so you can take pics of your accident for the gram
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
"I was thinking about shooting a church up but I am afraid how it will affect my family in the flesh after I'm gone"
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Article about unusual electric vehicle/bike/motorcycle on the left, argument about "duck" vs. "duct" on the right
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(City Pages)
 
 
 
♪♫♪♫ Bust out the R&B jams, nice and slow. Piss off your buddy, he's now a foe. It turned to disrespect; His "rep", must protect. You fall on his knife, to soothe the strife. So off to jail he goes. ♪♫♪♫
source: citypages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Today, in ambiguous headlines: "Police shoot dead bus hostage-taker," which could mean we had a zombie situation on a bus, or a zombie bus that was taking hostages, or the cops just really like shooting
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Three guys from Staten Island catch a 500-pound shark, proceed to have the most Staten Island photoshoot possible with said shark
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania man's unconventional plan to improve Starbucks coffee right on Target
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Michigan officials believe that signs suggesting people drive below the speed limit will actually work
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If driving around smoking a cigar while a naked woman gyrates on your Ferrari is wrong, I don't want to be right [NSFW]
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Researchers find adding pink seaweed to cow feed eliminates their methane emissions. This is also relevant to Mrs. subby's interests
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Go ahead and add "mauled by a pack of dogs" to the list of ways Detroit can kill you
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fisherman
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Kid who boasted of private jet and fleet of supercars busted for traffic offense on way to buy train ticket because he didn't have private jet and fleet of supercars (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
And now for your creepy WTF of the day: Let's all go to the Island of the Dolls in Mexico where a hermit preacher has hung thousands of mutilated dolls to 'protect a drowned girl from evil spirits'
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
You didn't need that extra $1,000 a year, did you? I mean, not when losing it means you get to be a noble foot soldier in Trump's glorious Trade War with China, right?
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
Boobies
 
Porn star found living in catacombs under Las Vegas says she has found her tunnel of love (NSFW)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Mystery stone baffles scientists as to why it has kept London from crumbling since the 16th century
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Looks like the Scots didn't bother watching Chernobyl - that or they've learned nothing
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
McDonald's employee burned by 'smoldering' dollar bill given at drive-thru
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
DEVELOPING: No hurricanes. FOLLOWUP: Still no hurricanes. UPDATE: Still no hurricanes. It's Not News, It's USA Today
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Man whose wife was killed in El Paso shooting, then had his SUV stolen and wrecked after her funeral receives new SUV from local dealer. Damn dusty out in Texas today
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsTimes)
 
 
 
News: six arrested for lewdness in a public park. Fark: aged 62-85. Well, when life hands you lemons...
source: newstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PR Newswire)
 
 
 
Big Dental wants to educate you on the financial responsibilities and duties of the Tooth Fairy
source: prnewswire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Got a black kid in your school with an initial cut into his hair that violates your dress code policy? Well, do you have any of those black permanent markers? Problem solved
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
'Jelly Brains' spotted in Pennsylvania lake, already registered to vote
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syfy)
 
 
 
For some reason, Elon Musk wants to nuke Mars. Here's the Bad Astronomer to tell him why that won't work the way he thinks it will
source: syfy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
British royal Prince Andrew may have some explaining to do, the flight logs from Jeffrey Epstein's private jet 'show he was in the same place as an alleged sex slave three separate times'
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Widow of man gored to death by yak sues 911 for not sending ambulance after he was unable to yak back on phone due to injuries from yak attack. Yak
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
75 years ago, the SS Richard Montgomery drifted into a sandbank & sunk in the Thames Estuary about 30 miles from subby's house. There's so much unstable explosive on board that if it goes off, the force will be felt 5,000 miles away. I'll get my hat
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
♫ ♬ What's in your buuuuuuutt, in your buuuuuuutt, zombie knife zombie knife-ife-ife ♫ ♬
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
People who don't know how to ride mopeds can now rent them on the street. What could go wrong?
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption these jesters earning their stripes
source: img.bleacherreport.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Apple: We intend to take real and significant steps to protect the privacy, safety, and security of children using our devices. App Developers: OMG THAT'S GOING TO RUIN OUR BUSINESS MODEL
source: beta.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WZZM 13 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Comcast customer service rep does something right. Yes, this is news
source: wzzm13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Movie extras, cult TV, and a lot of food questions are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz August 11-17 Salamander Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
"...the bear ate two cartons of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and left a little 'surprise' on the living room carpet"
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Otago Daily Times)
 
 
 
News: Man threatens murder over flat-earth bet. Fark: The round-earther
source: odt.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"I rented them an apartment, and I got to see their junk." No, not like that (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
"I see we've decided to give up on sleeping"
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Millennials who went back to school near Ground Zero are now growing up with 9/11 illnesses
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NY Policeman's Benevolent Association spokesman on yesterday's firing of NYPD officer Daniel Pantelo :"The job has been dying; and today, the job is dead." So, not unlike Eric Garner then?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Want to freak out a great white shark? Put giant eyes on your surfboard. "It intends to make the shark think it's been spotted" which deters it from attacking without the element of surprise"
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(TC Palm)
 
 
 
If a lack of pockets in your outfit mandates you carry your crack pipe in your vagina, then maybe it's time for a wardrobe update
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Couple leaves bar, decides to return Kool-Aid man style
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
Video
 
Ah, Colorado, where herds of wild mattresses gallop gracefully across the landscape
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
China to CEO: "Name any employees who took part in recent protests against us". CEO: "Me, myself, and I"
source: taiwannews.com.tw   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop Uluru
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
The absolute worst remake of The Highlander has to take place in Florida, of course
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Woman confronted by angry bystander over topless sunbathing doubles down, removes bathing suit bottom
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Puerto Rican women forbidden to speak Spanish in Florida clinic. "Never in my life did I think I was going to go through a situation like this one," Miranda said. Miranda meet Florida. Florida, Miranda
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(CBC)
 
 
 
Sorry, but selfies with the DILDO are strictly forbidden
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Yoga remains banned in Alabama schools because of its links to Eastern religions. Pagan rituals commemorating Celtic sabbaths still OK
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
That photo of Ghislaine Maxwell reading about the CIA at In-N-Out burger was staged to send some sort of message. Bonus: "Good Boys" poster photoshopped in
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
The beepocalypse is real
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Scorned husband lets pub landlord know how he really feels about him boffing his wife ...by dumping a huge pile of manure right outside the pub
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Okay poop coming out of bride's wedding dress
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Did we land? Or, were we shot down?"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKOW Madison)
 
 
 
If your hotel room mattress has bed bugs on it, don't do what this guy did
source: wkow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Combining the power of two of the least trusted groups in America, what could go wrong? Turns out, pretty much what you expect
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Owe $20? No school lunch for you. Come back, one month
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 19, 2019
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
You're farkin-A right it is
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 28 New York)
 
 
 
Because people are a**holes
source: wwnytv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Dumbasses on rental scooters, Interstate 94 edition. Video goodness, too
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
NASA preparing for "Colossal God of Chaos" asteroid to arrive in next 10 years. Will be so close it may pass under TV satellites EVERYBODY PANIC (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Yob tourists filmed 'surfing' on the back of an endangered whale shark in Mexico feel the wrath of the yob Internets
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
Stupid: Blow torching weeds around your house. Facepalm: Burning your truck in the process. Dumbass: Along with three of your neighbors houses
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
The "Poppy Apocalypse" was bad enough; super bloom could fuel fall wild fire super-burn
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
China's paramilitary troops appear to be preparing for some kind of boogaloo
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Ground control to major Tom
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Northwest)
 
 
 
Golf course demolition derby all the rage in the Pacific Northwest
source: mynorthwest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Lizard the size of a dog attacks dog the size of a lizard. Old geezer bite-larity ensues (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Climate change is making spiders more aggressive, which is nice
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
What's all this about a sexy selfie subway shoot? Oh. It checks out. Carry on, Subway BAE
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop these summer businessmen
source: scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
China' State Council calls for transforming the city of Shenzhen into basically a back-up Hong Kong, you know, in case something terrible should happen to the current one
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(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
A radioactive spider bite may not turn you into Spider-man, but your chances of becoming a 'super commuter' just went up 29% in Southern California. Unfortunately, your only super power is a three hour commute, so there's that
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(TuneIn)
 
 
 
The Triple Play continues on Paul's Memory Bank, OTR edition (8PM EDT). "New" episodes of Stan Freberg, Superman and My Favorite Husband. Plus a status report, there's light at the end of the licensing tunnel
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(WNKY.COM)
 
 
 
Citation: Naked man at shopping center shakes penis at woman, wanders nude into coin operated laundry
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(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Two teens water-ski 62 miles across Lake Michigan from Wisconsin to Michigan, jumping over several freshwater sharks in the process
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Because who wouldn't want three 12-year-olds for their birthday? 🤢⇨🤮⇨😠
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Male sex enthusiast provides free fitness training for local women, national publicity for taqueria, and series of challenges for police after being released from stay at Holiday Inn
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
Looks like I'm going to have to rethink my vacation plans
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
God looks after drunks, small children, and the GoPro cameras of people who die going over waterfalls, at least according to Florida Man
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Deep Thoughts at 3AM: "You're gonna throw ME out of your restaurant? Well, I'll just make sure no one tries to park in there"
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(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Secret door discovered in haunted cinema that 'just so happens' to have been converted into ghost-hunters' tourist attraction. Handy (possible nsfw content on page)
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(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
♪ Kinka Kinkajou, where are you? I've got to go to work now / Kinka Kinkajou, where are you, and please stop biting me, ow ♪
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(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Not news: hoarder. News: kept a hog in a basement in Detroit. Fark: probably didn't feed it dead prostitutes. Probably
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(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Will the Minnesota winter kill the scorpions or did that already fail to work?
source: cities971.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Jeffrey Epstein, who conveniently committed suicide, conveniently left a will, which he conveniently signed two days before he died. How convenient
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
It sort of a given that the words "horrifying discovery" will pop up in article about police raiding the home of an accused child molester; but usually not "mummified human remains and an altar to an unknown deity," -level horrifying
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Following Jeffrey Epstein suicide, Bureau of Prisons Director removed to make things look legit. All problems have been solved, everyone
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
U.S. farmers, facing record number of acres not planted due to flooding, are stunned by WASDE reports forecasting huge corn harvests. Some are skeptical, others simply understand the supremacy of keyboard and mouse over a godless console controller
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mosaic
source: hotelwelcomeparis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Suddenly, groin blisters (warning: really gross photos of aforementioned groin blisters if you scroll down)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brand Eating)
 
 
 
Benihana unveils its newest frozen dinner, the Steak Yakisoba. It's quite enjoyable, but if you must toss sharpened knives around to simulate the Benihana dining experience at home, please put on some pants
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(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Bad: helicopter parents. Florida: helicopter birthday guests
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(Reuters)
 
 
 
Norwegian Air pulls in emergency funding from stank bake sale. Hang on, flip that
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Several mailboxes damaged across the county with fireworks. Those responsible were seen driving away in a dark colored Chevrolet pickup truck with loud exhaust. Police will begin searching somewhere in the mid 1950s for suspects
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(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Subway restaurant becomes subway tunnel
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The NY Times: bringing you the cultural history of fire hydrants in NYC
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In move that will surely ruffle a few feathers, Turkey removes three top Kurdish mayors in major crackdown
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(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Computer simulation shows what would happen if a tsunami hit Washington State, as apparently it requires massive computing power to come up with the answer 'somewhat wetter than usual'
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
New Zealand art gallery places giant anthropomorphic hand sculpture on roof. Locals describe it as "terrifying," "a nightmare," and "quite a shocker"
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(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
You know it's a hot one when the city bus spontaneously catches fire and explodes
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(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Bwoah...Finnish economist delivers outlook while riding in a rally car
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(MSN)
 
 
 
Police have a suspect, but he has tattoos and none of the witnesses recall them... then someone comes up with a cunning plan
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(Durango Herald)
 
 
 
It's a Jeep thing. You wouldn't understand. puɐʇsɹǝpun ʇ,upןnoʍ noʎ ƃuıɥʇ dǝǝɾ ɐ s,ʇı It's a Jeep thing. You wouldn't understand. puɐʇsɹǝpun ʇ,upןnoʍ noʎ ƃuıɥʇ dǝǝɾ ɐ s,ʇı It's a Jeep thing. You wouldn't understand
source: durangoherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter