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Sun August 18, 2019
(CNN)
 
 
 
Foiled mass shooting trifecta completed in single article
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
British man fighting for life after falling 12ft off balcony while having sex with Canadian girlfriend, you wouldn't know her
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Defying an official ban on demonstrations, and braving heavy rains, 1.7 million people turned out today in Hong Kong to protest the government and police brutality. In case you're wondering, that's roughly 25% of Hong Kong's entire population
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cornell University)
 
 
 
Photoshop this yellow-billed magpie
source: download.ams.birds.cornell.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
The latest scourge among over-concerned adults? Teenagers who drink coffee
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Where's your cod now?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The Netherlands (population 17m) feels overwhelmed by its 19m tourists each year. Florida tries to act sympathetic but is too busy handling its 112m visitors
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(D'Marge)
 
 
 
Why flying first class isn't all that it's cracked up to be. That's the joke
source: dmarge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Teen Vogue)
 
 
 
The Step Mullet is the next hair trend. Farkers, your time has come
source: teenvogue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop whatever the hell this thing is supposed to be
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
A Florida firefighter was denied newly-enacted cancer benefits because ... wait for it ... he was diagnosed six months too early
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
It would seem that video games really are destroying America. Not with guns but with ethics
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Wearing formal attire that you're comfortable in for your senior portrait? No yearbook photo for you
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
In news that no one could have ever predicted, Texas officials are totally cool with police who led a black man by a rope through the streets
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
In Earth shattering news that no one expected, The Hill discovers that red light cameras exist to line the pockets of corporations and local governments, and undermine the rule of law
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 17)
 
 
 
Police say death of man found bloody, wrapped in Christmas lights, and having his freshly dead cat in the freezer is not suspicious. Fark-worthy, sure, but definitely not suspicious
source: cbs17.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this convoluted traffic pattern improvement
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Scope creep - when replacing the backsplash turned into an entire kitchen renovation. When did your project go beyond its original plan?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Before demolishing your decommissioned power station, it might be good to, y'know, make sure it's fully disconnected from the rest of the grid first
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
It is not legal to shoot your waiter for slow service. Even in France
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Oprah Magazine)
 
 
 
When should parents stop paying for their adult children's dinners and vacati--wait, WHAT? Subby wants parental handouts. WHERE'S MINE? I WANT MINE
source: oprahmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN is warning us of the "Dark Side" of Finland's Universal Health Care. Something something about being less available in remote areas while having an 88% approval rating nationwide. Sounds really scary, CNN
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Oversized ground-rats spreading the plague in Denver. Take that, pizza rat
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Green Bay Press Gazette)
 
 
 
FYI: Wisconsin is one of three states where you can legally own a kangaroo
source: greenbaypressgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A woman thought she had kidney stones and actually had triplets. Now who among us wouldn't rather have the kidney stones?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Voluntourism. For when you want to be even less helpful than sending thoughts and prayers
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Hong Kong protests turn violent as opposing forces clash...in Toronto
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 17, 2019
(CBC)
 
 
 
This is still news, because apparently 2016 and beyond is the new 1950s. Even to some people in Canada
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 ABC Toledo)
 
 
 
Who the heck would keep over 300 hedgehogs in their house?
source: 13abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Dumped
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Sad: 30 percent increase in suicides in the past two decades. Interesting: FCC looking to give the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline a three digit national number of 988
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Proud Boys depart Portland protests via childhood conveyance
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this picnic path
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Don't worry, it tastes like chicken
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Man cuts his hair for first time in 15 years to join the Army, donates it to charity. Lock and load, soldier
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The College Fix)
 
 
 
Guess what word Michigan State has ordered its student employees not to say to students because it's triggering? No, not is. You wouldn't get very far in life not saying is. The correct answer is "But"
source: thecollegefix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSB Radio)
 
 
 
From living in homeless shelters, cars and cheap motels in high school to six years later starting Yale Medical School in the fall. The American Dream isn't quite dead yet
source: wsbradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Delta was NOT ready when they were
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Sparks, Nevada city officials confiscate dive bar's patio furniture for refusing to raise drink prices during special event
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Why does NYC hate short people?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Baked Alaska
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
"crab leg" bandit apprehended after chase that went sideways
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
I guess we don't need to pay taxes anymore. Well as long as you're conservative, white, and a man
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Dunce)
 
 
 
Photoshop this abstract corner
source: freight.cargo.site   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
"Epstein's last days were spent emptying vending machines with his lawyers in a private meeting room, avoiding suicide watch, and paying other inmates' commissaries"
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Firefighters called out to a hover board explosion at a house in New Castle. Marty McFly seen walking away from scene, whistling
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Thirty-four years after she won a ticket, this woman gets to use it to get into Disneyland for free
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
All of the fish. All of them
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"Greetings, Earthman. We come in peace" (NSFW)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
No jokes. No snark. Just one grieving husband and 700 people showing that someone cares
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Photoshop what's intense
source: miro.medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
UK seaside town finally comes around to the fact that Brits having sex in public is bad for the planet, now installing anti-sex toilets that spray occupants with water and sound an alarm when you rock it with fugly Brit sex
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"My goal always is to get these kittens from being so frail and so fragile and so vulnerable to a place where they're so strong that they don't need me anymore, and they can move on to their adoptive homes." Welcome to a tiny but mighty Caturday
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Guy puts $100,000 on a single number at roulette. Since you're reading this here, you know what happens next
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Movement to switch to permanent daylight saving time gains momentum
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Because it's basically the same as inhaling boiling antifreeze? Is that the reason?
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
This just in
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
We all tweak down here
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Headline that could also be the treatment for a rom-com starring Seth Rogen and some actress who is absurdly far out of his league: "Oregon pastor and stripper team up to raise money for migrant kids after sweeping ICE raid"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
If you're going to break into someone's house and attempt to assault them while wearing a ski mask, maybe don't bring any form of ID with you. Or do, so you can get caught easier
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Gas is expensive in California, but these former city employees wouldn't know it
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man wanted for NYC bomb scare was previously arrested for choking his chicken too hard
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 16, 2019
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
If you live in a city you smoke a pack a day
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Seamstresses at African factory making Lee and Levi's accuse supervisors of trying to get into their pants
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Man dead for 20 minutes shares survival story, says everything just shut off after being electrocuted. Lights out, no pearly gates ....nothing
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Manatee deputy filmed striking inmate may face charges, dolphin retribution
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pablo Escobar was bi-polar. Well that explains the paintings
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Most Midwest headline ever: Iowa pork queen lends sow a hand to deliver big piglet
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUSI San Diego)
 
 
 
Thank God, I've gotten so tired of them dragging me out of bed every morning
source: kusi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
The Texas Public Information Act was used to discover that the local cops who were paid to attend a taxpayer funded seminar about the Texas Public Information Act did not attend
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
An ancient Greek joke book proves that jokes about bad breath are nothing new
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Uber Eats Asshole
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
*knock knock* "Helloooo?? Are there any pedos hiding in this cave?" "No, go away"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Photoshop what a quarter will buy
source: miro.medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Toward Hong Kong, the Chinese armed police are doing the equivalent of pretending to get into a bar fight while your friend "holds" you back
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Cigar-shaped UFO spotted during meteor shower over Wyoming ...no word yet if it was chasing a flaming comet for a light (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Time to bid a Fonda farewell
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Recently purchased $700,000 vacation home in West Palm Beach is getting attacked by "puking & shiatting vultures"
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
Forget about going to the cemetery to visit your dead grandpa. Just log onto Google Street View
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Blue Angels kerfuffle for lead lap? No worries. That'll buff right out
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Suddenly, bicyclist
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Remember that guy who tweeted he was the only passenger on a Delta flight? Yeah, about that
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
Normally, mailing packages of ticks to state officials would get you in a heap of trouble
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Australian couple seriously injured by (rolls dice): freak lizard attack
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A ship's cunning plan to avoid US sanction on Iranian oil by renaming itself was foiled by one teeny tiny detail: No matter WHAT you name the ship, its transponder still sends out the same coded serial number
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Jeffrey Epstein killer revealed
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Tyson Foods issues recall for frozen chicken patty products over concerns they were possibly contaminated with "extraneous materials," perhaps even chicken
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman who painted Bill Clinton lounging seductively in a blue dress surprised her painting turned up in the mansion of the most prolific pedophile in history. Weird recognize weird
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Having solved all other problems the Mormon church reminds members that coffee by any other name is still coffee
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Red Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these runners
source: images.clipartpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Conceal-carrying school official leaves gun unattended. Fortunately, the first graders that found it managed to keep their booger hooks off the bang switch
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man arrested after chugging $7 bottle of wine in Walmart bathroom, amateur
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Dead zone forming in Chesapeake Bay region, possibly to be named "Greater Baltimore"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Lifeless body in topless bar
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1812, the US surrendered Detroit to the British without a fight. Upon hearing the snickering coming from the American lines, the British took a look around and quickly gave it back
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Here's your handy-dandy guide to purchasing the best Himalayan Salt Lamp. Because you wouldn't want an inferior Himalayan Salt Lamp
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A science trip across America. Gaze in awe at a life-like replica of Noah's Ark, then visit New Orleans to see how God uses hurricanes to punish gays. See dinosaur bones planted to test faith and snow on the Rockies that disproves global warming
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hippie Guy)
 
 
 
WXPN is streaming Woodstock as it happened 50 years ago
source: thekey.xpn.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Rest assured that hackers won't steal your information from the Amherst, MA Police Department - they will just publish it online themselves for anyone to read
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
Man finds world's biggest Frazzle and its basically the Megatron of the potato chip world
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Over the last 40 years, earnings for the average worker rose by just 11.9%. CEOs, however, saw a 1007% increase in their earnings
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Turns out the THREE suspicious devices left by trashcans in NYC subways were all empty rice cookers. So either someone failed badly out of culinary school, or they passed Stupid Prank Academy with flying colors
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
When your priority is to become a transspecies reptilian, you have to remove your penis
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
Weeners
 
[clickbait-link] [hackneyed-meme] [cliched-trope] [in-joke] I submitted this with a better headline [mods-insult] [period] [0/10]
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
California man's 'funky, old' Nikes sell for $50,000. Subby's just made the dog sick when he tried to eat them
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
4.2 magnitude earthquake rattles Kansas, cows, bibles
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pensacola News Journal)
 
 
 
Florida county commissioner receives box of "industrial-strength dildos"; The Lonely Island unavailable for comment
source: pnj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Nation (Kenya))
 
 
 
Suddenly, wildebeest
source: nation.co.ke   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Today's "Florida Man offers ice cream to schoolchildren and then strikes a natural gas pipeline" comes to you from Hilliard, where the school mascot is impromptu nudity. Don't believe me? Google it
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Dayton killer was high on everything except video games
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption these teens listening to music
source: thoughtco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
World champion female Thai boxer kicks thieves' asses after they try and rob a family
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
If your illegally kept pet cougar gets loose and you don't tell anyone, they will find you, and they will charge you with "failing to provide it with toys or other stimulation", among other things
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Man pulls two butter knives during attempted armed robbery on Bourbon St. Is whipped by victims and told to spread by police to receive pat-down before charges are drawn up. Hopefully he won't melt in prison
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Tourists on safari in South Africa enjoy two full minutes of white rhino terror as their barely fast enough safari jeep tries to get away
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
'Burn a rebel flag, get a free chocolate' Not all southerners are rednecks
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
August 16, 2019: The cure for cancer has finally been discov... WTF?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
His job a joke, he's broke, and his love life's D.O.A., the David Schwimmer lookalike is headed to prison for a liquor store robbery CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this football server
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
45% of Americans wear underwear for two days or longer, study finds. Pffft, amateurs
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Sleepy Guy)
 
 
 
Back sleepers get to sleep faster, side sleepers sleep longer, and passed out with a bottle of whisky on a rack of servers means you're likely a Fark admin
source: swnsdigital.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Ohio man accused of committing 10 felonies against 7 people in 21 minutes. Your move, Florida man
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Suspicious package causing subway delays in Lower Manhattan. story developing
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Fat kid with a terrible haircut and no fashion sense still mad at the sea (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Woman hassles airman in uniform at Hawaiian Starbucks for speaking Spanish during private mobile call. "You speaking another language that does not represent America and that uniform you are wearing, that's distasteful"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester First)
 
 
 
You ugly!!!
source: rochesterfirst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Woman left with egg on her face and blind in one eye after following a recipe she found on Google (shows injury pics, possible NSFW content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Elizabeth Smart's dad comes out as gay, leaves Mormon church. Smart smart smart smart smart smart smart smart
source: deseret.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
Weeners
 
Because makeup sex is best sex (possibly NSFW)
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Scottish coastguard rescue teams pull 'Iron Man' out of the drink after he crash lands in water
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
This contending couple for parents of the year were never parents at all. They just faked the pregnancy for baby shower gifts, faked the birth, bought a life like baby doll, and faked its death to set up a GoFundMe account
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
New full contact skydiving experience is a smash hit
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(K945.com)
 
 
 
Bossier City installs a new waterpark
source: k945.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 15, 2019
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Don't put your Junk in the trunk. Could asplode all over you. Difficulty: it's a beer, not an euphemism. And they DO asplode
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Man pinned to piece of wood for three days survives. Jesus of Nazareth unavailable for comment
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
How did THAT get in the net?
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Devastating tornadoes, a mass shooting, and now... crocodiles? Some malign supernatural entity must be hatin' on Dayton
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
There's drunk & then there's "drive into a house, hit a gas main & destroy seven homes in an explosion" drunk. Drew claims he has an airtight alibi
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Woman who died after eating jail mattress remembered as a big softy
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Bald eagle catches a fish too heavy to fly with so it swims it ashore. Big fish trifecta complete
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Left coast city bans more choice
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMBC Kansas City)
 
 
 
This issue calls for a law that requires all children 10 and under to walk on stilts, or a law that requires all SUVs to be lowriders
source: kmbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
"'Too many girls,' Epstein said. And with that, the tape began to roll." Here's an audio interview from 2003
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
FDA has a modest proposal for accuracy in tobacco advertising [Graphic pictures]
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy with some sort of wicker art thingees
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Echo Park residents urge city officials to save recreation area, save recreation area, save recreation area
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Counterfeit $100 bills fall from the sky in Lancaster, Pa. Still won't fool people into moving to Lancaster
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Wedding tackiness is not so much getting married in your swimsuits, it's the penis wedding cake that says "To Have and to Hold"
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Galaxy)
 
 
 
Scientists theorize where intelligent life may be in our galaxy. Pretty sure it's not Earth
source: dailygalaxy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Nepal proposes new rules for attempting to summit Everest, such as prior experience, a health certificate, and... being rich?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Effective next month, falsely claiming your rooster is your service animal will be illegal. Dogs, miniature horses still cool
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Man: "All the people I see are robots and I am the only human being on earth. I'm trying to save you, so let me into your condo so that I can kill the concierge, or I'll kick your ass." Judge: "Seems legit"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Latest way to own the libs: flying
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Permit denied for 'Straight Pride Event' in California over insurance, safety concerns, and the reality that anyone marching to celebrate the fact that they're straight probably isn't
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Federal Judge rules that black people in Georgia will actually have their votes counted in 2020. Look out, Cletus. The party is over for you
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
Massachusetts man arrested for stealing trade secrets by an NCIS and FBI joint operation. If convicted he faces 10 years in prison and unlimited head slaps by Gibbs
source: lexington.wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Dale Earnhardt Jr. survives crash. Difficulty: plane crash
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVIA El Paso)
 
 
 
Way to go, El Pasoans - show the world how it's done
source: kvia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1057 AD, King Macbeth is killed by Malcolm Canmore, whose father he had murdered seventeen years before. It's true what they say: conscience doth make cowards of us all
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"Tenure at the University of Michigan is difficult to penetrate, no matter how appalling a professor's behavior." Really, a different verb would have been better there
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Anyone remember the game Twisted Metal? This 60-year-old man apparently does
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Article on what pet owners needs to know about "flying with dogs". First and foremost, dogs can't fly so don't bother. Just take them out for a nice walk
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Education official under fire for using sexy photos to encourage reading. I'd listen to the phone book being read if the woman in the bodysuit were doing it. For you millennials, a phone book is like a book of Google results
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Disney employee considers going by Jeff for the foreseeable future
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Investigation finds high school principal never taught assigned class, gave all its students As. At least she didn't have sex with any of them
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Gigantic praying mantis 'stalking' riders on NYC subway looking for brains to eat. Apparently, still searching
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMC 5 Memphis)
 
 
 
Today's thing you can't do while black: school fundraising
source: wmcactionnews5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
ISIS and al-Qaeda feud hots up with ... bloopers video? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
That looks about right
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Nine-year-old girl sues German boy's choir for gender bias, in what German legal analysts no doubt will describe as a clear case of ButenShesenGottenNoDongen law
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Quick, close the barn door
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If I'm reading this headline correctly, and I believe that I am, the Department of Transportation has authorized the creation of miniature Pegasi to be used as service animals
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Because we have been much better at raking, of course
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Shark takes nice chunk out of surfer's board, decides it's a little too much fiber for his diet
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Jail medical provider, under criminal investigation for the death of inmate under their care, offers to test immediate family members for the condition they claim he died from, no doubt while holding a pinky to their mouth
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Hacker explains how and why he penetrated a butt plug
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Initial market trials of Vend-A-Raccoon machines not a success with law enforcement
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
What happens when you replace road design engineers with eight year olds? In Kansas City, MO, you win awards
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
You're going to have to announce the Fark parties if you want people to show up
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here, just Indian and Pakistani soldiers killing each other in Kashmir
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Oh no, bro, Bronycon is no mo'
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
Video
 
NPR asks, why do all Irish pubs look alike? "Because you are drunk," surprisingly not the answer
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Vintage 1983 Pontiac Firebird to go on the market soon. Like new, except for slight water damage
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Employee in jail for making terrorist threat after threatening to shoot his dick up when he was told to do a work related task
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
White woman invents hair bonnet, sells it for $98. The Root: "Hold my poodle. I said, hold my poodle"
source: theglowup.theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this famous frog
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Promiscuously scattered peaches would be a great band name
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Dead humpback whale washes ashore on nude beach, leaving beach goers more self confident
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Is it still possible to avoid the 2°C rise in global temperatures by 2050? Ah hahaha oh my goodness gracious no we're already there now
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
But have you ever walked the Dolls Head Trail...... on pot?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Invasive 'jumping worms' find their way to Illinois, improve state politics
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Scientists say climate change deniers are stupid dum dums who should go away
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
That's not how you double park. That's not how this works
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's an NYPD officer being pelted with Chinese food while making an arrest
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
If you've been leaving creepy dolls all over Jefferson County, Missouri, police would like a word
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
In his obituary, man described as 'funny, articulate, and intelligent.' Some people have a problem with that
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Intrepid news coverage of Philly shooting standoff memorializes boner4ever graffiti
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Jogging outside is great exercise. Just don't forget to put on clothes when running along a busy public roadway
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
US 'applied to seize' Iranian tanker Grace 1, marking the first time that the Trump administration has seen the value of Grace
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
45-pound catfish swims up to city workers fixing pipe in creek. City workers now planning giant fish fry
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toe Bro)
 
 
 
Photoshop this elemental body alignment
source: static.wixstatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Police department releases the cutest suspect sketches you'll ever see
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
And I Ran, I Ran So Far Away
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Four women sue actor Danny Masterson, Church of Scientology, and its leader. Church to call Xenu as character witness
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Walking near white woman while black? Welcome to Michigan
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
Scientists have invented a chip that zaps people when they think about food
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman who whipped peasants with her riding crop crushed by her horse
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Thaiger)
 
 
 
Thai woman hospitalized after she fell on a cucumber and it "accidentally" slipped inside her. "We don't have any current reports about what happened to the cucumber"
source: thethaiger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
They're just pulling it out of their asses
source: mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Incredibly, suspect is captured ALIVE after shooting six Philly cops. It's a new day in the city of brotherly love
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Police ask Anchorage residents to stop calling 911 to see if their landline phones still work
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Woman who texts and drives ends up connecting to land line (w/ video)
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 745: "People". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 14, 2019
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"World's sexiest angler" hauls in 100kg fish while wearing tiny bikinis. Beautiful and a master baiter. What a catch
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Oh... Who's a cute widdle robber... You're a cute widdle robber... Yes you are... Oh, yes you are
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
A complete set of Pokémon Red and Blue-era trading cards just sold for $107k
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Rama Lama Ding Dong Ditch
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Christchurch Shooter sends a letter to a penpal in Russia who immediately posts it on 4chan. NZ prison officials are starting to think that maybe terrorists SHOULDN'T be allowed mail privileges
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Another day, another unsafe display by Russian pilots
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Hieronymus Bosch Butt Music is the name of my 16th century lute/harp cover band
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Polygamy ruled illegal in North Carolina. Still legal in Wisconsin though
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dasani water will soon be available in cans, to reduce single-use plastic and confuse Bud Light drinkers
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Serial wedding crasher on loose in Texas, stealing presents and whatever faith we have left in humanity
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Secondhand lions: Home wanted
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dictator
source: scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Hiker wearing headphones gets run over by a bear. Beats getting eaten
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Amazon delivery (clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop)
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Fredo, please. Italian Americans say Fredo is nothing like the N-word. Bilbo wanted for questioning however
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Subby drove by this place for sale and cannot believe one of you Farkers hasn't bought it yet. It isn't even in a swamp
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
-801. #maga
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The pieces are being put in place for Tiananmen Square 2: Hong Kong Boogaloo
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
Good luck getting pregnant in space
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
What goes on inside Drag Queen Story Hour? A lot of Dr. Seuss for starters
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Your alligator pool float looks soo reaaaaaagh
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Multiple officers injured in ongoing active shooter situation in Philadelphia
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
How to take a vacation with that yammering pack of hyenas you call a family or those mouth-breathing losers you call friends without killing each and every one of them
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metal Injection)
 
 
 
Oh nothing, just a $52,000 Godzilla electric guitar
source: metalinjection.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Cop pulls over driver for playing Pokemon go in his car while driving. FARK:. On eight different cell phones
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Florida man visits Walmart to buy a toy car. Hilarity does not ensue (possible NSFW content on page)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Apparently, Epstein liked good art. And this.
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
"Pretty sure we didn't get high together" texted the cop to the guy who had the wrong number
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
The "Wile E. Coyote of Flat Earthers" has to delay his rocket launch due to (A)Local Government's objections, (B)ad Planning, (C)raigslist
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
First it was meth squirrel, now it's meth cat
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop these farkers
source: scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Do you own a Macbook Pro that you bought between September 2015 and February 2017? Well don't YOU just think you're special Mr. Fancypants? Also, good luck getting onto a plane with it
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Friendly man looking to save woman from robots gets arrested (with video and incredible mugshot)
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Dude, you can't just put in a bridge in wherever the hell you want
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Woman reports her car stolen as she's fleeing from police in that car
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Warning. Too much karaoke can lead to personal embarrassment, ruptured ear drums, collapsed lungs
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
NC beach town leaders are OK with you showing the Moon, but not Uranus
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Is there anything worse for a cop than being caught in an underage sex sting? Oh my word, yes
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSMV Nashville)
 
 
 
Police say he had a strong odor of alcohol about his person, admitted to officers he had been drinking, and advised officers to "leave his drunk *$%#*&* *@#$%^$* alone." Oh, and brisket in his pants
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Scientists say monstrous penguins once swam in New Zealand waters. Shaken warnings of elder races and nameless things shrieking "Tekeli-li" not given credence, prompting a research expedition to the southern seas
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Say hello to my little career-ending theft
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
People with too much money really know how to make an ass out of themselves. Several asses in the case of this guy (NSFW)
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Son, you got a monitor on your head
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Isn't a mug shot supposed to show the person's face?
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Police officer arrested, loses job after allegedly drunkenly waving around service pistol and blacking out. 'He also admitted to drinking five long island iced teas and five or six Mike's Hard Lemonades.'
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Feds charge woman working for the DOJ in New Jersey with using her access to government systems to identify people "snitching" on her son's gang. And she might have gotten away with it if she hadn't posted a YouTube video identifying the snitches
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Enough schadenfreude to last you the rest of the week: Porsche-driving wife of corrupt Chinese police chief ends up getting both of them what they had coming. With massively-satisfying video
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
It's semen isn't it?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
Video
 
When good arrests go bad; stolen police cruiser video shows driving with handcuffs is a bad idea. 4:50 in video gets nuts
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Tag. You're it, Ghislaine Maxwell
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Abandoned wedding dress baffles police, who are hoping for a bust
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Husband of El Paso shooting victim invites public to her funeral since he has no other family. Can any local Farkers make it?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
You might think that a cookout filled with cops might be a safe place where you wouldn't be attacked, but the Seattle Police Department begs to differ
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1994, the terrorist known as 'Carlos the Jackal' is captured. His lesser known accomplices 'Bruce the Dingo' and 'Josephine the Rabid Wallaby' remain at large to this day
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Old 'Drive it like you stole it' saying updated for the modern age: 'Drive it like it's a Lime Car'
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
You may think you smoke a lot of pot each month, but you're no Mike Tyson
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
It was Tase an Emu Day with the local RCMP
source: vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Caption this man carving an eye on Mt. Rushmore
source: static.boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Man drops soon-to-be ex-girlfriend's 2 and 4-year-old at wrong daycare, insists to staffers it's the right place and leaves them there
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
Mia Khalifa said the pay in the porn industry sucks, this woman disagrees
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Zombie Rave Snail, is the name of my NIN-Techno fusion band
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
California wine growers and weed growers go toe to toe over the use of pesticides, fungicides and herbicides on neighboring crops. Fark: The weed growers are the ones upset
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Because a man's home is his castle, and what castle is complete without a drawbridge, a taco truck, and a performance by a reality TV show star?
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Bibles and fish sticks get Trump tariff exemptions
source: text.npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
♪ I wanna live. With a cinnamon Coke. ♪ I could be happy. ♪ The rest of my life. ♪ With a cinnamon Coke ♪
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
If your Hot 97 FM CD and Walkman were stolen from your car the police have it
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Newark hands out expired bottles of water that are 'safe to drink' amid lead crisis
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Man arrested for felony child sexual assault just before going on stage with his Christian rock band
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Want to see what happens when Pele and Zeus get into a slap fight?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Man who kicked a wolf that was in the process of eating the man at the campsite next to him "immediately regretted it"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Watching football is as good for you as a workout, there's only one small catch - your team has to win. Because otherwise
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-Ready headline: Don't lick sexy pavement lichen
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
Russian guy eaten alive by bear after joking about being eaten alive by bear in the most 'only in Russia or Alaska' story ever
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Memphis Commercial Appeal)
 
 
 
That's racist, dog
source: commercialappeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
How often should you wash your sheets? When they crunch, right?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Six tips on getting along with your college roommate to the left. Stories about how you didn't get along with your college roommate to the right
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The story of how Ghana got extra holiday's
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(MSN)
 
 
 
Think of the most tone deaf thing you could do in light of recent shootings. Now click the link
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(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
4chan reported detailed information about the Epstein death before any major news site. Also released new series of German scat pics and your Mom's secret lingerie video she did in 1987
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(Some Style)
 
 
 
Photoshop this makeup session
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(CNBC)
 
 
 
Because it's never too early to prepare for National Dog Day, this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday is all about travel. Everything from car rides and hotels to plane journeys
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(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Woman hit by car crossing busy intersection makes plea for safety improvements such as preventing people like her from crossing against the light
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(KTVO Kirksville)
 
 
 
"He estimated he had two to six more beers after the crash"
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(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Catholic high school teacher who inappropriately touched students removed from job after school officials determined he is not a priest
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
Shots fired into ICE offices in San Antonio. Officials blame politics, opponents' rhetoric for shootings. Apparently, disgruntled employees, vandals, trigger-happy drunks don't exist in Texas
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(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
Man, Santa is quite the asshole during his vacation time. He's definitely going to be on the naughty list
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
If an Ohio State University has their way at the US Patent and Trademark Office, we'll all have to refer to them as THE Ohio State University. Extra Stupid: because that's the official name of the school under state law
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(Guardian)
 
 
 
It's like we've taken Mother Earth out on a bender and now she's waking up hung over and that damned body glitter is everywhere
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(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida woman, upset over school rezoning, fails to understand that there is no stopping or mass shooting in the Red Zone
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(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
There's a right way and a Florida way to quiet down your neighbors, and the Florida Way apparently involves roach spray and hitting yourself in the head with your nunchucks
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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Article about vaping causing lung disease to the left, bros defending their e-cigs from within a giant cloud of smoke to the right
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(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Drunk driver fails to hit the brakes, crashes into Brakes 4 Less storefront
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(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Dive Team responds after the S.S. Orlando sets sail in Florida lake
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Tue August 13, 2019
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Imagine if you will, Don Lemon grabbing his genitals and asking you if you like vaginas, or penises
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(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Police arrest KY man outside Pentagon with a 12-gauge shotgun, an 18-inch machete, shotgun shells, and a bottle of Jim Beam Vanilla bourbon in his car. And if drinking Jim Beam Vanilla bourbon isn't a sign of mental defect, subby doesn't know what is
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(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Skydive ends badly for Flathead man
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(CNN)
 
 
 
And so the repercussions begin: The warden at the prison where Epstein died has been "temporarily" reassigned and staffers have been placed on leave
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(The Onion)
 
 
 
Behold, the future of college recruitment
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(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
But what if the 10,001st message was the one that did the trick?
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(WKRN Nashville)
 
Weeners
 
First responders hold a T-Rex race, but the tag is for what a T-Rex costume might look like from behind. (Pic, Video, @&#*% Autoplay warning)
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(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
A little girl's dad, who was a sheriff's deputy lost in the line of duty, was not there for her first day of school for the first time, so over 50 deputies were there to see her off
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(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Patience and Fortitude, the iconic lions which guard the main branch of the New York Public Library, will be getting a $250,000 bath--with lasers. Hopefully no one crosses the streams
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(CTV News)
 
 
 
"What are you??" "I'm Bat-Bowl"
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(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Getting more greenlights on Fark using this one weird trick - no, really!
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(I accept)
 
 
 
Photoshop this challenge
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(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
What a sh*t wedding cake
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(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Used to be, you would get caught drunk driving and they took your keys and let you sleep it off. Nowadays, they catch and release and catch and release
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
79-year old woman who fed stray cats will not go to jail after all. Still no solution for hungry homeless cats
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(Fark)
 
 
 
Unhealthy foods, healthy foods, and where to buy foods are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, August 4-10 Baby Food Edition
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(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Scientists think they finally know why cats eat grass, and it's not just because they like to vomit
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(Syfy)
 
 
 
I'm pretty sure this won't destroy the Earth. Next time, black hole, try harder
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(CBS New York)
 
 
 
"This is your captain speaking. we'll be delayed in taking off due to heavy fog...And yes, we know the fog is coming from inside the plane"
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(Live Science)
 
 
 
You're free to pick up the frozen tardigrades and space poop from the moon
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(CNN)
 
 
 
University to fight climate change by A: Planting thousands of trees? B: Using solar panels on all buildings on campus? of C: Banning hamburgers?
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(ThisWeek Community News)
 
 
 
Not to be outdone by Kansas City, Columbus measures distance and weight in Honda Accords
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Kremlin opens up about Russia's recent nuclear "accident". Let's just say that next season's Stranger Things has an interesting subplot involving Winona Ryder's current boyfriend. Yes, that's every season, I know
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(Fox 5 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Woman claims she was cut by beer bottle and had her eyes glued shut during fight. That's her story and she's sticking to it mainly because she has no choice
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Bell Laboratories Alles LSI-11 digital synthesizer
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(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Young Ohio man discovered with 25 guns and 10,000 rounds of ammunition after making threats about a mass shooting. This is not a repeat from two weekends ago
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(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
What do I know about comics? I'm a storage unit thief. I used to be a happy storage unit thief until a week ago, and then, what do I know about comics? Don't they come from St. Louis?
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
20 pics that prove that prison isn't all bad
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(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
After faking depression in order to get a £7,000 nose job, Britain's most hated woman is crowdfunding for a £6,000 butt lift
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Fredo Cuomo
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(National Geographic)
 
 
 
You know how everyone has been saying that eventually the fungus that wiped out banana farming in Asia and Africa would reach South America too? That day has arrived
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(WTAE)
 
 
 
Tractor-trailer carrying gasoline goes over embankment, crashes onto railroad tracks, catches fire before Michael Bay can yell "CUT"
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Florida Woman learns that dating Florida Man is not the best idea, especially when the date starts at a Dennys
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(MLive.com)
 
 
 
The water levels on the Great Lakes are so high that one small island community in Michigan had to abandon the bridge to the mainland and pay out of pocket for ferry service
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(Montgomery Advertiser)
 
 
 
Sometimes a quote from the article nails it: Murphy then "dropped his pants with his back to me, put his finger in his rectum and then came at me swinging." Tag is for what it must be like to swing at a cop with your finger up your ass
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(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Man sentenced to three years after wife dies in meth-fueled "Death Party," but at least he's not guilty of false advertising
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Guy makes 12 ridiculous rules for his girlfriend's night out. Girlfriend responds with a 13th rule for now ex-boyfriend
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(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Some mother-daughter action at the beach results in seven felonies and fourteen misdemeanors
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(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
BYE FELICIA Back-to-school is often a sad time for many families. Yet for these four Florida moms, it was time to celebrate with wine and donuts. "Some of you are sad. This is me and my girls. We will be juuuuuuust fine 🤣"
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(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Burlesque dancing sex robots from 1939 are pure retro nightmare fuel (possible nsfw content on page)
source: