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Sun July 07, 2019
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
13-year-old boy thinks it's better to be in jail than spend eight hours in car with sibling, gets his wish
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Oh nothing, just a seagull covered in curry
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Illinois to regulate potency of legal marijuana. Multiple studies have shown a persistent association between marijuana use and psychosis, including schizophrenia, paranoia and hallucinations
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Not news: Couple goes through IVF with their frozen embryos, gives birth to healthy twin boys. Fark: Uh, they were supposed to be girls. Ultra Fark: the boys were from other couples, and aren't related to each other
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop these durians
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Thousands of fish die after the water was contaminated with 45,000 barrels of whiskey from the Jim Beam fire. But they died with smiles on their faces, and are pre-pickled for your consumption
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Hey, remember how the last time you renewed your driver's license you signed that form giving the FBI and ICE permission to add your photo to its facial recognition database? Oh, you never signed a form? No worries, they added it anyway
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Travelin' Man)
 
 
 
Too much excitement in your life? This list of the most boring tourist trap in each state can help fix that
source: farandwide.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBR)
 
 
 
Theme: MAD Magazine has pulled the plug and Alfred E Neuman is dead. Photoshop your tribute to Alfred or other MAD characters
source: cbr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Retired couple put a rooster on trial for crowing at sunrise. The bird's lawyer hopes he will be vindicated, but the plaintiffs hope for coq au vindication
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Three people gored and two suffer head trauma at the annual Running of the Morans
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
How many more aftershock quakes do you think Southern California will experience by the end of the year? Ten? Twenty? Scientists estimate a few more than that
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Look, folks, I think God is really trying to tell you all to move. And he's not been very ambiguous about it, either
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cozy sleeping place
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
A beginner's guide to butterfly watching. It's not news, it's Fark
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Hikers chased up tree by feral pig... which is still better than being chased up a feral pig by a tree. Or taking acid before submitting
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
That's great, it starts with an earthquake. Birds and snakes, and a geyser. Yellowstone is not afraid
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Virginia man wasn't arrested for burning an American flag, that's his First Amendment Right. He was arrested for burning a flag in a Walmart parking lot
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Another thing now going into the sh*tter, researchers are warning that toilet paper is getting less sustainable
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The oldest woman in America turned 114 today. Hopes to live to 117 so she can finally pay off her student loans
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Here in California, our backyard swimming pools come with a Surfing upgrade. Your state's pools suck
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 06, 2019
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Not wanting to put a cash cow at risk, Walmart adds armed guard to patrol ice cream aisle in the wake of the ice cream licker incident so shoppers can enjoy their milk fat and sugar unadulterated. Article bonus: Ice cream licker has been identified
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
In aftermath of NH motorcycle accident, Massachusetts wonders whether someone should finally look in the overflowing box marked "out of State DUI notifications"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Epstein's mom better start writing notes
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
What exactly is a Florida Man supposed to be carrying in his Bob Marley backpack, officer?
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this plague doctor
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox2 Detroit)
 
 
 
Police officer runs a traffic sign and gets T-Boned. So of course the other driver gets arrested. Chief Bryant unavailable for comment
source: fox2detroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside EVs)
 
 
 
Say what you want about Teslas, but their sentry mode rocks. "What are you in for?" "Keying a Tesla"
source: insideevs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this horn blower
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
News: U.S. Secret Service breaks up counterfeiting scheme. No matter what you're thinking now, the truth is even stupider
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Things not to do while black #483: Buy fireworks
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
There has been a massive explosion at a shopping mall in Plantation, Florida
source: ktul.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
If you love canned fish so much, why don't you marry it
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
First came the ice cream licker, now a mouthwash drinker. This is a disturbing trend
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Mexico may pay for the wall after all. Well, at least one specific Mexican
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BestLife)
 
 
 
"Alcohol is the only drug we have to explain not using"
source: bestlifeonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop this doggo
source: ichef.bbci.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Couple has their engagement photos taken at a shelter for abused and abandoned animals to try and inspire people to adopt - and it's working. Caturday approves
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Almost 2 dozen cities in India are running low on fresh water. So, where did it all disappear to? Why, in exported beef, rice, and cotton. Fark: 95.4 billion cubic meters annually, #1 in the world
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Florida high school principal: "I can't say the Holocaust is a factual, historical event because I am not in a position to do so as a school district employee"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
I used to be a re-enactor like you
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Car stolen in Colorado, taken for joyride and crashed into tree. Suspect described as medium height, black, walks on four paws, fondness for honey
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
So a court awards you half a billion dollars from North Korea. You're gonna have to be clever getting them to pay up
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
The shell casing doesn't fall far from the magazine
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
NYC police investigate a shoplifter at Whole Foods and proceed to A). Beat and taze her repeatedly, B). Arrest her and throw her in jail or C). Pay for her groceries
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
I can never remember, is it "Don't steal Top Secret documents from your government job if you grow pot" or "Don't grow pot if you steal Top Secret documents from your government job"?
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 05, 2019
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Breaking: everything in Ridgecrest, CA
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
List of things you should not store in your basement. No word on skeletons
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Turkish man dies after failing to pull off the old "Strap a couple pillows to your back and get a friend to shoot you with a shotgun so you can get out of doing community service" trick
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Why July 4th's quake didn't trigger an early warning ShakeAlert notification in LA (with photo of newly-spawned possible hellmouth)
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
They do say fight fire with fire
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
American astronomers based in Chile throw shade at European counterparts for partying during the total solar eclipse: "I don't know if that will be so good for observing. Real astronomers work"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Good: Recording bats and balls at Angels Stadium Bad: Recording bats and balls at an Angels Stadium restroom
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(THV 11)
 
 
 
Small town in Arkansas explodes into a 200 person firework fight
source: thv11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
A single drop of Lake Michigan water contains one million bacteria and ten million viruses in a drop of Lake Michigan water
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Caught setting illegal ticket quotas, officials in Missouri town are forced to promise not to get caught again
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this attack skeleton
source: creativeboom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida cougar won't be caged following plea deal
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Thanos don't surf? Oh yes he does
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 7 Austin)
 
 
 
Cumming woman didn't think her cunning plan out, arrested for leaving her three-year-old alone and not coming home
source: fox7austin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The Vatican may have hidden artwork that depicted female priests, which is somehow more dangerous than child molestation
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Female firefighter told she was "too weak" to work the job proves everyone wrong, though she might spark a fire
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Texas man sentenced to fifty years in prison for killing friend from Des Plaines. Mr. Rourke takes cold comfort in the ruling
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Democratic Underground)
 
 
 
Many DC residents' views of the July 4th fireworks were blocked by a giant wall
source: democraticunderground.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Impromptu Fark party, Ridgecrest
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this alert kitteh
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Quick update on what philosophers are saying about teledildonics, sexbots, and internet-connected anal probes (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salem Statesman-Journal)
 
 
 
I think I'll just take a nap here next to the highway in the tall grass... *bzzzzzzzzzt*
source: statesmanjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man poses as cop, pulls over real deputy and tells him to "slow down." Hilarity ensues
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Maybe hold off on the confession until after you've finished SWAT-ing your neighbour? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Backpedaling prosecutor drops felony charge against woman who turned abusive hubby's guns in to police, swears she's still guilty of something so "trespassing" it is
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Florida tag unavailable since it got blowed up real good yesterday
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Police seize uninsured Lamborghini. Owner turns up to reclaim it driving another uninsured Lamborghini. Police: rinse, repeat
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Welcome to McDonald's, would you like to suck my d*ck with that?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Some passengers on this Royal Caribbean cruise got to drink MUCH cheaper on the all-you-can-drink deal
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Lightning strike leaves creepy burn mark on golf course's 11th hole, or maybe this Stranger Things viral marketing is getting out of hand
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
"Influencer" bride tries to pay wedding photographer with exposure. Public shaming ensues
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
Weeners
 
Someone is putting sex toys on shelves at Walmart
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
If you lambast Nike for pulling its Betsy Ross Flag line of shoes, you may not want to show up two days later at a 4th of July event wearing Nike shoes. Right, Governor Ducey?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Being lazy and eating too much are the main causes of obesity, say "experts"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(czmilosz)
 
 
 
Image compression and unfortunate design choices deserve a caption
source: bungojungo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY Upstate)
 
 
 
Adirondack hospital displays collection of fishing lures they've removed from people's thumbs, arms, legs, noses, eyelids, lips and genitalia, usually after an alcohol-involved incident
source: newyorkupstate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Gators 2, Florida Man 0. If you are keeping score
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Woman who licked tub of Blue Bell Ice Cream could face 20 years In prison
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
And the rockets' red glare, and the Brits' cannonballs, here's proof from the fight, they got jammed in the walls
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Pizza Pizza Crash Crash AAAAH AAAAAH
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
70-year-old marathon cheater, recently disqualified for cutting the course for this year's LA Marathon, found dead in the LA River
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Hospital staff left stoned off their face after pensioner mistakenly gave them cannabis-laced cake. Cops said: "Officers have spoken to all parties involved and given some strong words of advice. The case has now been closed and the cake destroyed"
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these skulls
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
British Airways cabin crew face sack after running naked through hotel during drunken orgy. Sounds like a pretty good layover (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Man celebrates Fourth of July by leading cops on a high speed chase, climbing tree and entering stranger's home before being hauled away in a spit mask. The Aristocrats
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
So there is a cruise ship just for Santa Clauses
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Woman changes surname to Cameltoe in memory of boozy holiday where she got a camel toe tattoo. And somehow she's single (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Flash mob steals $30k of North Face jackets. Not sure how 10 people are going to share 3 jackets
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WA Today (Australia))
 
 
 
Why the high-speed chase scene is always the most unrealistic part of a heist movie
source: watoday.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Police are looking into a porn store, robbery that is
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Aussie pub patron prevents robbery by hurling bar stool and pot plant at machete-wielding bandit. No word on the condition of the pot plant
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
They took brother off life support, watched him die. They were somewhat surprised to see him show up for the family BBQ seven days later
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Ah, ah, ahh-chooo***BOOMCRASH
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Just remember - if the returns seem too good, it's probably a scam. Tag is for the couple who had to learn that the hard way
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 04, 2019
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Teenagers are joining gangs for protection and to increase their mating prospects. Elephant gangs
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Blood drawn at plasma donation center
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Brooklyn woman tells police her stolen car had 6-year-old child inside so they'd try to find it faster. Police find car, escort her and imaginary child to playground with bars
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Minnesota man arrested for fishing naked, charged with gross misdemeanor
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Ten common myths about bike lanes and how you're already pissed reading this just move over you lane hog and pay some taxes dammit
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Al)
 
 
 
Photoshop this weird guy
source: img.mlbstatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Independent report claims over 80% of suspects flagged by London Police facial recognition technology were innocent. Fail tag misidentified as Followup
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Boca Raton officials request that if you're going to be a professional iguana hunter, please study the subtle differences between iguanas and pool maintenance workers before you start shooting
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Fort Worth fire department called to untangle American flag at Whataburger on July 4th. Scientists said it couldn't be done but Peak Texas has been achieved
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
We've seen extreme sports, and even extreme ironing, so now it's time for extreme sleeping
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Dead dog and AK-47 shooting spree that also killed camel spurs Oregon lawsuit." Florida Man nods approvingly
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN asks the burning questions:. Is India becoming too hot to be uninhabitable? (article has been fixed)
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
In response to Trump's parade, California finally decides to break away from the rest of the continental United States
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Not news: building business goes bust. News: Britain's oldest. Holy fark: it started in 1591 and has been run by 13 generations of the same family
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Ten foot baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo. 800 pounds doo doo doo doo doo doo. At the Jersey Shore doo doo doo doo doo doo
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this peacock
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
And today's skinny criminal who escaped jail by slipping through the bars of his cell, comes to you from La Paz, Bolivia
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
Video
 
Today's best unintentional fireworks display courtesy of Fort Hill, South Carolina
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man finds gigantic nope crawling across his ceiling in Indonesia
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Semi-trailer truck full of ramen noodles overturns on interstate highway. Investigators say the entire load was ruined, resulting in a loss of tens of dollars to the trucking company
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Moved to Alaska to escape the heat? About that
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
 
 
Having run out of more relevant topics, TV documentaries turn to the rise and fall of New Coke
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in 1826, former Presidents Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, who were the last surviving members of the original American revolutionaries, die on the same day within five hours of each other
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Maine man stumped as to why doctor cut off wrong toe
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The CIA trolls Instagramers
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Art is torment. Art is pain. Art is risking a severe melanoma for the LOLz (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
London accused of discriminating against Northerners; "It's so bad that they're looked at with scorn for requesting gravy on chips." Well, yes; the only people who put gravy on fries are those wacky Canadians while the rest of us use ketchup
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this thermostat
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Conehead)
 
 
 
And now for something completely different: a field guide to ... traffic cones?
source: trafficcone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
1983 hide and seek champion might soon be found
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Just one more thing the Japanese have on us: Take off your shoes
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWQC Quad Cities)
 
 
 
"We want to clear up any confusion. There is no swimming, bathing, washing clothes, urinating, or defecating in the water fountains at the Riverfront"
source: kwqc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Are you farking kidding me?
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
"The people going to the hospital for fireworks injuries are exactly who you think"
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
It's been a tough stretch so how about cheering up with some drawings by little kids? Did I say "cheering up?" I meant fall into a pit of despair
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Gangs of wild chicks in Jersey terrorizing joggers, lurking in bushes - no, not that Jersey, not Snooki or Jwoww
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Unmanned rubber duckie found in Lake Michigan. Coast Guard mounts search for Ernie
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Denver has a plan to kill off 2200 immigrants to reduce the amount of poop on their streets
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courthouse News Service)
 
 
 
Alan Dershowitz last seen shoving cue balls in his mouth as Second Circuit Court rules that the Jeffery Epstein files start getting released to the public. Over 2000 pages
source: courthousenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
PETA has its feathers all in a fluff over name of road
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Burglar stuck on inversion table tries the ole "they told me to come here" defense on the surprised homeowner
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do, if within one hour, I don't get $500 from you
source: cdllife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 739: "Boom 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 03, 2019
(MSN)
 
 
 
Angler caught fish in Thailand which is somehow newsworHOLY CARP
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Get out your Florida Fark bingo cards and mark off: "police chief", "inappropriate remark", "Puerto Rican" and "lost puppy"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Sheep do their impression of Lemmings...."They chose unwisely"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(France 24)
 
 
 
Stromboli volcano in violent eruption off Sicily. Calzone is still safe
source: france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Hard time for female drug dealer who complained to cops that selling meth was "hard work." Hard
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Texas accidentally decriminalized marijuana
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mice can now engage in unprotected sex without worrying about HIV
source: edition-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Aaron Spelling's mansion sells for $120M to someone who isn't you
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Shouldn't the term "unlicensed midwife" raise a red flag or two?
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
One honestly gushing review and everybody wants a Tracy's dog sex toy
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
For-Profit "healthcare" consortium buys inner city Philly hospital that serves some of the neediest residents and is the teaching hospital for Drexel University, promptly bankrupts it in six months, now wants to sell the land to developers
source: inquirer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Now)
 
 
 
Soooo, you went across the State Line and bought a few fireworks, eh? You ain't got NOTHING on this guy here with 200k lbs of fireworks
source: lasvegasnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flower photo subby took recently
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Pilots arrest God on flight, but the Devil put him up to it
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"Ramming speed" works better when your boat is bigger than the other boat
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Suddenly, tiger
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Navy Times)
 
 
 
Prosecutors in the trial of the Navy SEAL accused of murder grudgingly admit their case had some problems. For instance, prosecutors aren't supposed to hack into the defenses' computers to spy on all their correspondence
source: navytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
Gallant appears at his sentencing hearing for attempted murder after stabbing 3 people and expresses his deep regret for his actions. Goofus says "fark it", shows up in blackface, goes on a racist rant in the courtroom and gets life
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Thief shoves hot spaghetti meal down his pants, but does not get pasta security camera
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
News: Manute Bol's son is entering the NBA. FARK: He is a "SpongeBob SquarePants" expert and has a Squidward tattoo of his leg (with video)
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Fetussluaghter charges dropped against Alabama woman shot in the stomach during fight
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ok, who ordered the bag of human bones?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Operator: "911, what is your emergency?" Dad: " My daughter, and her pregnant mother have been shot." Op: " Are you sure it wasn't fireworks?" **Dad 'FFS', runs to fire station** Dad: "HELP" Firemen: "Sorry. it's scary out there"
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
This is the kind of mayhem we warned you about when pot was legalized
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Evansville Courier Press)
 
 
 
"The caller told dispatch a man was driving a truck while wearing a cowboy hat - and only a cowboy hat"
source: courierpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Once again, the L.A.P.D. is asking Los Angelenos not to fire their guns at the visitor spacecraft. You may inadvertently trigger an interstellar war
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Travon Martin is in the news again. No...not that one
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dothan Eagle)
 
 
 
Tried to make me go to rehab, I said no no no
source: dothaneagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Minutes after release from custody, man is busted trying to steal cars from jail parking lot. Fittingly, he was immediately returned to the "LOL Detention facility"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Helsinki Times (Finland))
 
Boobies
 
Finland has first topless flashmob related to the international "Free the Nipple" movement......you've already clicked the link (NSFW)
source: helsinkitimes.fi   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
This person ate the KFC Cheetos Chicken Sandwich so you don't have to
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Remember the days of the Mugshot Roundup? This one would have been a doozy
source: wnky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this campfire
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
UFO's are invading Florida, warns local sheriff
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Group drinking and relaxing in back yard finds injured baby bird, orders Uber to take it to wildlife rehab center since they were not fit to drive
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
Twelve million airport travelers will just have to wait to be genitally fondled as hundreds of TSA agents will be busy at the Mexican border fondling the genitals of immigrants
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Imelda Marcos celebrates her 90th birthday by sending 261 people to the hospital with food poisoning
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Protip: Your town's water should not smell like sewer and leave black rings in your toilets
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Woman desperate for attention. Ice cream gets a mention. Woman headed for detention (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Arab prince goes out in style in London after 'sex and drugs orgy' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It's not everyday you get to see a doctor remove a six foot tapeworm from a man, but today is that day
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Oooooh - Red, white - but rarely blue - the science of fireworks colors explained - aaaaaah
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
11 strange events that happened after the Chernobyl nuclear power plant accident, including creepy dolls and Business Insider articles that weren't overt product pitches
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Customs seizes rat meat at Chicago's O'Hare airport, ruining John Spartan's 4th of July barbecue plans
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
97-year-old WWII veteran takes a 175 mph spin around Indianapolis Motor Speedway, says it was more exciting than jumping off a German POW train to escape the Nazis
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(York Dispatch)
 
 
 
Police now looking for a man who fired a gun during a fireworks show in Pennsylvania. No word on how anyone could tell
source: yorkdispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
A new species of bee fly which shares similarities with the Night King has been discovered. Of course it's in Australia
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Everyday is Whacking Day in Florida for green iguanas
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Man on trial for murder was a "vampire daddy" for a coven of witches. Always knew Joss Whedon was trouble
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Dustin Hoffman's 'Outbreak' to be reclassified as a documentary (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
I was setting off illegal fireworks in front of the kids before I took a mortar to the chest
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Adidas shows why you should never let a bot run your corporate social media account. @CletusDroo unavailable for comment
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
$5,000 tip given to waitress was part of revenge plot by upset girlfriend who had her boyfriend's card. Here's hoping the waitress gets to keep the money
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Japan orders over one million to evacuate due to monster ...rains
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
After six years of litigation, one Florida couple has finally won the right to again begin subjecting their neighbors to the unmitigated horror and wanton depravity of a front yard vegetable garden
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Two Welsh rail workers killed after being hit by train. With all due respect, and especially if you work on the railroad, how do you NOT know when a train is approaching? They're not ninjas
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: What Drew's up to, plus your chance to get your writing published in an actual physical book
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
What working out might look on Mars. Actually, it'll probably look a lot like the working out you do now, although you might be curling Protein Bars instead of Cheetos and the couch might not be as cushy
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
This dude must roll huge joints, hate the farkin' Eagles, man
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Heterosexual man couldn't handle a homosexual man's tight shorts and shirt during a pride rally, so he threatened to "beat you til you become heterosexual." Someone wasn't secure about his feelings, it seems
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2019-06-23 to Sat 2019-06-29. Kennedy, PNG, bouillabaisse, Chuck Woolery, Chuck Norris, FiveThirtyEight, tulips, and bourbon
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DeadState)
 
 
 
Alaska city council may vote to end invocations before its meetings so as not to have another member of the Satanic Temple give the invocation. Yeah, that'll show 'em
source: deadstate.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop the rainbow wormhole
source: 2.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Location location location is everything when you own a piece of property ...except when you've lived on wrong block of land for six years and now the council wants to build a road through your home
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Vaping device explodes in man's pocket, leaves "volleyball-sized" wound
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Good news everyone: There are only 3 NJ beaches you can't swim at this holiday weekend because of poop levels.The rest are comfortably within norms
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
NewsFlash
 
Massive fire at Jim Beam warehouse in Kentucky may have destroyed 45,000 barrels of bourbon. This may take a while to greenlight since everyone is rushing to the scene with empty buckets
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Judge: A teen accused of rape does not deserve any punishment, because he comes from a good family, and a sentence will ruin his life. Besides the girl was drunk, anyway. Appeals court: Not so fast there, buddy
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
The man who saved Chrysler after being fired by Henry Ford has died. RIP Lee Iacocca
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Fort Worth Texas street lined with banners that read "In No God We Trust" and some locals have a problem with it
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Angry NY billionaire throws temper tantrum. No, not that one
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NextGov)
 
 
 
Congress instructs DHS to intensely study and report back on deepfake videos, including any featuring Emma Watson, Scarlett Johansson, Alexandra Daddario, or Mitch McConnell
source: nextgov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
At this rate, the Russian Navy is going to be forced to hold the West in check using painted inflatable ships
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Welcome to China, here is your secret surveillance app
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Murderer found not guilty of murder. Still has upcoming court date with the Almighty, trial date undetermined
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
I used to be a magician like you, then I took an arrow in the head
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 02, 2019
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
And now there's sewage spewing out of the elevators at Grand Central. Welcome to New York, everybody
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Man gets drunk, steals backhoe, trashes house and starts fire. Why not, it was Canada Day
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Let's skip to the important part: The TV was unharmed
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Dalai Lama apologizes for channeling his inner Donald Trump
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RedState)
 
 
 
Florida County finds great way to comfort dogs during Fourth of July. Your dog wants a harmonica
source: redstate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Island used in the Fyre festival promo scam for sale. Fark Fyre party on crowdfunded Farkistan island anybody?
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
Avoid the windowless van with free puppies sign
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MetroWest Daily News)
 
 
 
I would have expected something cigarette-related
source: metrowestdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Man who claimed to be heroic teacher who saved his students from mass shooting now claims he has no idea what the media is talking about, what shooting?
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Café owner charged with first degree sitcom brownie mixup cliché
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Thank God: Judge blocks Trump policy keeping asylum seekers locked up
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
IKEA releases free font based on couches. Just download the 78 JPG images and follow the instructions to create the font file yourself though in 24 easy steps (Allen wrench not included)
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
If you had plans to help your kids set up their first business this summer outside of California, Colorado, Connecticut, Nevada, North Dakota, New York, Nebraska, Missouri, Illinois, Louisiana, Rhode Island or Vermont, you could face legal trouble
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop these yellow roofs
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
State trooper pulls over hearse for driving in HOV lane. "The driver had the dearly departed in the back, he thought the deceased could be counted as two people. I guess we should clarify this, living, breathing people count for the HOV lane"
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
Marines are reporting 'huge, strange-looking' snakes at Camp Lejeune. Fool me once
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Must have been like when a gust of wind carries your parachute above an alligator farm
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
♪ "Im a SHARK. ♪ I'm a SHAAARK. ♪ Hey, is that a drone? ♪ I'M A SHAAAAAAARK" ♪ (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
And today's arcade claw machine story - Woman complains after spending $125 and failing to win a small teddy bear
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
Air Force jet hits bird, drops 3 dummy bombs over Florida. That explains a lot
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Petting Zoos: Come pet the sheep and goats and e.coli
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Summer is when toxic algal bloom season gives way to flesh-eating bacteria season
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
How does a fivesome even work?
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Man with a tiny lizard in his ear successfully treated for reptile dysfunction
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Massive orbital bombardment incoming, so now's a good time to take out that loan (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Keep Austin Weird replaced by Austin: Go Ahead, Camp Out On The Sidewalk, Pop A Squat, Shoot Up, Howl At Passers-By, Whatever. What Could Go Wrong?
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KBTX College Station)
 
 
 
Sometimes a fire alarm just scares the shiat out of everybody
source: kbtx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this frustrated fox
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Worn out chess piece granddad bought for $6 sells for $925,000 at auction
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida girl's first words after suffering a critical brain injury in a crash; 'I farted'
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Untied almost sends a bag to Germany instead of Sweden. Hang on...I'm getting an update...unaccompanied minor? Untied almost sends an unaccompanied minor to Germany instead of Sweden
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Oppressive heat wave bakes Western Europe this week, driving the French in Seine
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Organizers of Straight Pride Parade report receiving suspicious envelopes in the mail. What police find is fabulous
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Kentucky teen lost a legal battle to let himself be a walking pathogen. Fark: Again
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Now THIS is an example of a church doing good work for the community
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cops drag sewage soaked drug dealer out of drain after he tried to hide but got stuck
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MetroWest Daily News)
 
 
 
Unclaimed body to be cremated. Hey, if nobody else wants it, I'll take it
source: metrowestdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Nocturnal emissions may help solve climate crisis. Err... make that negative emissions
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Vatican says that no one needs to know when a priest confesses about Matthew 19:14
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Coors employees save tuber trapped in their product
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Lesson here is do not dance in the middle of the highway
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Caption King Henry the VIII, the Loch Ness Monster, Winston Churchill and Freddie Mercury
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Best. Job. Ever (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Fight censorship (NSFW)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Place on ground... light fuse... get away
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Family opens fireworks stand to pay for daughters wedding. Bride hopes it won't cost an arm and a leg
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Lawyer wannabe becomes a "spanking model" to pay for her law degree, then drops out to become a poRn star. Still better than a lawyer, one supposes
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sheboygan Press)
 
 
 
So what you in for? Clogging toilets. Holy shirt
source: sheboyganpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this date in 1937, Amelia Earhart nears completion of her record flight arou
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Legal issues in music, insect bites and music... okay, lots of music questions on the Fark Weird News Quiz, June 9-15 Ketchup Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
18-year-old vandalizes school by painting swastikas and pooping on the locker room floor. Then claims he's a sovereign citizen and cops can't hold him. The Aristocrats
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Blonde woman's lovemaking prompts and you already clicked but you should have read the whole tagline first
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
President of the Flat Earth Society wonders why people are "scared" of his movement and thinks there is a global conspiracy to discredit him
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this active volcano
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Blaming liberals and the LGBTQ community because you lost so much money on your restaurant that it can't even open on time is a bold strategy. "Dunn was referring to a Pink Floyd album, but wouldn't elaborate on how it relates to the situation"
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Legal Precedence)
 
 
 
"Frankly, if one act of inoffensive drunkenness at an after work function provided valid reason for dismissal, I suspect that the majority of Australian workers may have potentially lost their jobs"
source: fwc.gov.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Camp Guy)
 
 
 
CBP: Our bad. We cool?
source: cbp.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Mein Kampf for sale online for $14.88 with pro-facist blurb at noted Neo-Nazi booksellers Amazon, Walmart, Barnes and Noble and Books-A-Million
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Michigan police have a message for those seen in a viral video shutting down a Detroit freeway to do doughnuts. Keep using social media - it helps us find you"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Cool: Inviting half dozen LDS missionaries into your home. Not so cool: Offer them booze as refreshments. Tacky: Asking them to hold your gun. Fark: Holding them at gunpoint when they decline your hospitality
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northern Territory News)
 
 
 
In which we learn that Australian wildlife is not just venomous, but also poisonous
source: ntnews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
An ode to the now-shuttered Action Park, America's most dangerous water park
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Yankee Doodle missed a sign/while driving very slowly/truck got stuck under a bridge/ while full of macaroni
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
Newsflash: Nurses are tired and overworked. Tune in at 11 for a special report on the matter from Ric Romero
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Honey? Did you hire a gardener?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breaking Defense)
 
 
 
If you know how to fix nine electromagnetic weapons elevators aboard a $13-billion aircraft carrier, the US Navy really wants to meet you
source: breakingdefense.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 01, 2019
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Nike yanks shoe with offensive flag linked to slavery. Difficulty: not that one
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
They're on. They're off. They're ON again
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Man found not guilty by reason of insanity in Old Town Alexandria 'werewolf' slaying. What a lunatic
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UK birds and bunnies should be on the lookout for an escaped python. This is not even a British euphemism
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Japan resumes commercial whaling, for there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
In the red corner: an escaped Emu. In the blue corner: a curious deer. FIGHT
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
It rubs the lotion in the skin or else it gets sunburned again
source: washfm.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this um, chicken?
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A British school bus bursts into flames, all are safe. The pupils from Southend High School for Girls were then "taken by police to the nearby Dick Turpin pub"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
One-punch man found not guilty
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Cockroaches will soon be impossible to kill with chemicals. I for one welcome our new immortal overlords
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
Tossing Nemo into a trash can might have been a lousy story ending, but could have helped battle invasive species problems
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Mexico's National Guard to formally begin operations. Although how effective they'll be in tuxedos and ball gowns is anyone's guess
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 12 Westchester)
 
 
 
Who farted, y'all?
source: newjersey.news12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
One out of five adults in the US have been harmed by someone else's drinking, proving the danger of trying to keep up with a Fark mod when Drew opens the bar
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tallahassee Democrat)
 
 
 
Fark: Racist neighborhood covenant explicitly restricts people of color from owning property. UltraFark: No one, including the city attorney, can figure out how to get the restrictions removed
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Dust devil spins up in middle of little league all star game, and not by profanity-spewing little league parents
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Who Farted Y'all, Facebook HQ sarin gas scare edition
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
Brown University is archiving gay pulp fiction, for all your hot Fabienne/Mia Wallace and Jules Winnfield/Gimp fantasy action
source: wbur.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this moss man
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYC: Yeah, we know about your busted sidewalk and we'll get to it about a year after you go fark yourself
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1942, the First Battle of El Alamein began, as British forces fought Rommel to a standstill in Egypt and continued the grand tradition of doing important things that were forgotten as soon as the Americans arrived
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The "Unidentified Object" the South Korean military spotted flying over the Trump-Kim meeting on the DMZ? Turns out, it was a flock of birds; which is a good thing, because if it had been red balloons, we might not all still be here
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
4-year-old's drawing of a slide she used on a trip shows (unfortunately) amazing detail
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
You may laugh, but how do you know that Ivanka Trump actually didn't storm the beaches at Normandy?
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sex fetish fans from around the world board the annual 'Torture Ship' cruise in Germany, where 500 guests don leather and latex for nautical naughtiness (not safe for work)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Student complains that her new swimsuit leaves her privates "hanging out." Company tells her to maybe stop wearing it upside down
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Prison too much? Want to get out for a while? Simple, just switch places with your twin brother when he comes to visit
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sowetan Live (South Africa))
 
 
 
The penis camera allows you to direct create establishing shots, over-the-shoulder angles, and extreme close-ups. And it goes without saying, dolly shots
source: sowetanlive.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Son comes out as gay to parents, who admit they are also both gay despite 23 years of marriage
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
'Gulf Coast Algae Bloom' is the name of my psychedelic country band
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Where have you been, under a rock? "Err... yes"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
It's that day of the year again when the Mets get to pay Bobby Bonilla another $1,193,248.20
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Happy Canada Day everyone Have a safe and fun holiday, eh
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Climate change is boiling away the U.S. lobster industry
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Environmentalists removed more than 40 tons of trash from the Great Pacific Garbage patch - and it barely made a dent
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
South African teens build their own plane in ten days. Boeing says that's nothing, they can slap together a 737 Max jet in about 15 minutes
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Iran has now photoshopped its supply of uranium past the 2015 stockpile limits
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sailing ship
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here, just 5ft of hail falling in Mexico, during summer
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Church of England announces it will publish Social Media Guidelines, which will include "Thou shall not troll" and "Sharing clickbait is a gateway to hell"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel News Asia)
 
 
 
Canada takes back garbage, ending dispute with Philippines. Next up: Justin Bieber
source: channelnewsasia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
You can add "taking a stroll outside the hospital on doctor's orders while being hooked to an IV" to the things you can't do while black
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Seriously, who masturbates for an hour and a half?
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
ǝuo pooƃ ɐ sᴉ ɯoɹɟ ʎɐʍɐ ʞlɐʍ uɐɔ noʎ ƃuᴉpuɐl ʎu∀
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(High Country News)
 
 
 
Problem: Fewer migrants means not enough hands in the fields to harvest crops. Solution: Use American prisoners in the fields for pennies on the dollar. Scarlett O'Hara Kennedy would be proud
source: hcn.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Behold the Beard of Chivalry
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Facebook to ban ads that tell people not to vote. A better response: responding to those requests by publishing the purchasers' identifying information
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man killed after mistaking "Safe Area" sign for being just that
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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