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Sun June 23, 2019
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Herndon, Virginia firefighters save kid stuck 40 feet up in tree. Fortunately for the kid, he has eight lives left
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Can you give up "frose" for the entire summer? If so, you could be $10,000 richer
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Talking calmly while black? That's a tazing
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Some parents play "peekaboo" or "got your nose" with their children. Then there's this Texas mom
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cliff
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Welcome to Not Fark
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
How does Germany fight neo-Nazis? Why, confiscate their beer, of course
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this amusement park goer
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Lawyers for white supremacist and convicted murderer James Fields seek mercy in sentencing for the usual reasons: "troubled childhood", "mental illness", "murdering Jewish grandfather", "please ignore phone calls he makes from jail"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Metro Times)
 
 
 
A man was observed painting a mural in Detroit by police, which led to his arrest. No, it wasn't a random tagger, but an actual paid artist. His skin color made the difference between "comic misunderstanding" and "arrested for disorderly conduct"
source: metrotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, a twelfth American has mysteriously died in the Dominican Republic after drinking--and the tourism minister says it's "not unusual" for this high a body count
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
"One of the first things they did was have the solar panels removed, which wildly confused the workers who came to take them"
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Local guy buys second-hand monorail, finally puts Wisconsin on the map. Bonus: guy is subby
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Look... me and the Angry Birds people got this little misunderstanding. See, they're Angry Birds, and I'm Angry Birdz
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cool: Seeing a fighter jet from your airplane window. Cooler: Seeing two fighter jets fly in formation alongside your passenger jet. Seriously Uncool: Because the RAF had to dispatch them due to an "extremely disruptive passenger" on board
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hexagonal tile
source: tileinstylestore.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Summer has officially started, so let's hear your summer vacation stories. Keep it clean for the kids
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
I guess that's one way to show potential robbers that you are armed. But that's taking it a bit extreme
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
This is why you'll want to shell out some bucks to stay at the new Taco Bell resort
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Desert Sun)
 
 
 
One of the last of the original Tuskegee Airmen has flown into the wide blue yonder
source: desertsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Employers are now looking for less specialized "jack of all trades" types. We're gonna need a bigger hat rack
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
"Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?" "The same thing we do every night, Pinky - try to detonate bombs inside the courthouse"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Vaping leads to another senseless death
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Step 1: pay tax when you sell your mansion in CT. Step 2: rent. Step 3: collect income tax credit equal to amount in step 1 and GTFO CT
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Alabama man tries to steal electricity. Shockingly, he succeeds
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 22, 2019
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Santa Anita Park might as well be sponsored by Elmer's at this point
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Democratically-elected government shut down after ISIS threats of violence. Wait, did I say ISIS?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
It is happening here
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Hello muddah, hello faddah. Please send help, I'm at the doctah
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eastern Daily Press (UK))
 
 
 
Pie shop owner (to offended vegans): Too bad, the hog roast is staying
source: edp24.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Cow)
 
 
 
Animal rights group plants workers in a cattle farm to secretly videotape felony abuse of the cattle, then send video to the county prosecutor. There was indeed animal abuse in the video- mostly committed by the animal rights group's plants
source: newsbug.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pie)
 
 
 
Photoshop these pie presses
source: images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
News: Several people injured on river cruise in Berlin. Fark: Because someone urinated off a bridge
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chennai, population 4.6 million, is India's first major city to run out of water with another 20 cities predicted to dry up by 2020
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
A patent will allow Amazon's delivery drones to double as a spy tool
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Guy finds lost hockey puck after 70+ years. That is dedication. I wonder if he can find my missing socks
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
POTUS postpones people purge
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Her seat belt was fastened and her seat was in an upright position with the tray table retracted. What else did she expect the flight attendants to do?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Birder Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this solitary fowl
source: americanprairie.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Nothing says summer like a good carnival. Rides, funnel cakes, massive brawls in the parking lot, kettle co- wait, what?
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Japan's high speed electric trains brought to a halt by: a) terrorists, b) bad weather, or c) a slug?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Manitoba is home to the world's largest snake orgy and OMG WHY
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Cal government to stoners: It defeats the purpose of legal marijuana if you buy from unlicensed weed vendors
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Poltergeist sequel to be filmed in Texas suburb. No special effects necessary
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. 40 years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes.The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy doggo
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Mr. Beard picked up intoxicated college women while wearing a fake phallus, then would take pictures of them. Police found a loaded handgun and a bottle of hair conditioner. You can't make this stuff up
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Kittens and therapy cats being used to warm the hearts of senior citizens on Caturday
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Nine killed in skydiving plane crash. If only they had some way of safely jumping from a doomed aircraft
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
Ladies, gentlemen, and Farkers, please welcome the world's ugliest dog for 2019: Scamp
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Never bring a knife to a weed eater fight. Or pull a BB gun at that point. Your call. You already got the Stupid tag for starting stuff in a Walmart parking lot
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Not news: deadly creatures battle in Australia. News: it's a python swallowing a crocodile. Fark: photographed by a dude padding a freakin' kayak in that river
source: i.stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Shizuoka man arrested for pointing his bamboo sword at female police box consultant. Not a euphemism
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Flintshire councillors optimistic that CCTV cameras will nip fly-tippers, help clean up blighted Shotton pavements. This headline is dangerously British
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTIV Sioux City)
 
 
 
The law requires proper attire. Can you prove that the officers involved in the hundred mile per hour chase through multiple jurisdictions did not undergo any costume changes? No? Not guilty
source: ktiv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
Huge rat falls from the ceiling to table, living up to the 'wild' in Buffalo Wild Wings. Check, please
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenwich Time)
 
 
 
This is not going to go over well with you couch potatoes: Research shows people who spend more time outdoors tend to lead more fulfilling lives than those who do not
source: greenwichtime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Rose calls Jack's bluff, still won't share the door
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
On trial for burglary? You bet that's a smear feces on yourself, throw it at the judge, clear the courtroom, and an acquittal. Bonus quote: "It's protein. It's good for you" The Aristocrats. Wait..."acquittal"?
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Robert Kraft is pretty much certain to get off, but everyone else involved in the Jupiter masseuse sting had better continue to keep some lawyer money handy
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Now, I'm not saying he should've done it... but I understand
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 21, 2019
(UPI)
 
 
 
Forget grabbing your popcorn, it might be time to stockpile your popcorn
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for turning in her husband's guns to police after he was arrested for trying to run her over. Police do not understand why people have a problem with her arrest
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Police called to altercation at the home of the UK's next prime minister
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Evansville Courier Press)
 
 
 
If you find a missing propane tanker lying around, the Jasper police would appreciate a call
source: courierpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Nashville decides to ban electric scooters after an intoxicated man caused a fatal accident. That's like banning cars because of one drunk driver
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
"Researcher" finds "alien base" on Mercury, most astronomers say it's actually just a mustache
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Taiwan News)
 
 
 
Blue tears seen off of Taiwanese islands are not toxic. Also known as dinoflagellates, this is not a reference to the Flintstones' pet pleasuring himself
source: taiwannews.com.tw   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOAA)
 
 
 
Colorado celebrates the first day of summer with a blizzard
source: koaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Even the crooks love Fords." What more to say after thieves steal five Ford pickup trucks from you in one shot? Have you driven a Ford ... lately?
source: nationvalleynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
Boobies
 
Summertime: Cookouts, fireworks, picnics and boob trenches
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Someone's been sleeping in my mudroom. Someone's been sleeping in MY mudroom. Someone's been sleeping in my mudroom, and they're still there
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Scrub shrub another rubber
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
♪ Spider-Man, Spider-Man, pressure washes roofs like a spider can ♪
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this under-the-stairs storage nook
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
German firefighters rescue squirrel stuck in manhole, no doubt while hearing the 'it was a million to one shot, doc, a million to one'' line over and over
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
Out of my way slowpoke, I've got fish to catch
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
NASA launches new missions to the sun. Don't worry, they are going at night
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Winners never quit, quitters never win, and prolific offenders who never quit exposing themselves to women are just losers that keep getting released from jail
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Naked man stopped from trying to get through security at airport, as only TSA agents on the body scanner are allowed to see everyone's junk
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Evansville Courier Press)
 
 
 
Ex-con hires ex-cons because no one hires ex-cons. Spiffy tag is in the back doing dishes
source: courierpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
It's aliens
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
"We don't know what caused the fire but it has been extinguished," said Riadil Lubis, the head of North Sumatra's disaster agency. Owners of the matchstick warehouse were stumped too
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Man who loves living out in nature is upset when nature comes to visit
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Photoshop these penguins
source: static.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Innocent "gentle giant" victim of a vicious random mob, or literal human dumpster fire? We report, you decide
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Thirty-two award winning wedding photos and one award winning cannibalism photo
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Look I drove three armed and masked men to a bar then hid a rifle, but I'm not a bad guy
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dropping all your crack and heroin on the the floor might jeopardize your professional status in the district attorney's office
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Bottled water sold at Walmart found to have high levels of arsenic, possibly explaining that 'people of Walmart' thing
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Herald)
 
 
 
Blood donation services targeting gamers to boost supplies, by raffling an Alienware gaming PC and possibly by telling gamers that their veins are loot boxes that can contain exclusive cosmetic upgrades
source: courierherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Man uses emergency lights on Kia Soul to stop vehicle, track down girlfriend. Why yes, he has a previous record of impersonating an officer and DUI
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
You know what they say: any landing you can walk away from and don't hit any cars or pedestrians is a good one
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Booty calls. New hotness: Foodie calls -- and a third of women admit they've had one
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
This story has it all: "Christian Fundamentalist," "Biblical Flat Earth Society," and "56 counts of child sexual exploitation," Okay, I could've lived without that last bit
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Dirt)
 
 
 
No, your kids aren't growing horns because of evil cellphone use. Good God, people. It's simply because your kids are inherently evil
source: techdirt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Woman claims she was nearly hit by falling tree on golf course. Apparently, no one shouted 'FOREST'
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1788, the U.S. Constitution was ratified, setting up over two hundred years of people vigorously defending what they think it says
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Four teachers have cancer and the water is a refreshing off-color blue in this school that was built on a landfill--but surely that's not the cause
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Group admits they were wrong for being angry at Netflix for making Good Omens, which in actuality was released by Amazon Prime. They also later admitted that God and The Bible are only secondary influences and that they just like to hate
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Spain's supreme court convicts Wolf Pack to 15 years in prison for rape, puts an end to awful Hangover sequels
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
For once, good news involving the words 'Uber driver' and 'sodomy arrest'
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Iowa still trying to collect on a 29-year-old seat belt ticket from Minnesota runaway
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Former child star and confidante of Michael Jackson now lives in fear of paparazzi. Difficulty: He's a chimp (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"Awwww..wook at the adorable widdle sea lion, isn't he cuuu...AAAAAHHHHHH GET IT OFF ME...GET IT OFF ME
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Millennials spending 7% less on frivolities than previous generations at the same age; Baby Boomers spending 37% more, says surprising study that will surprise no one from GenX
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Why it takes you three tries to plug in a USB correctly
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Model banned from wearing bikini in her own garden. Dude, she's 81 (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Cute Instagram girl gives masterclass on trolling teenage boys
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
"Oh gee, I thought the police can't chase me in another state." Bonus: Nice haircut, dummy
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cozy reading nook
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Crowds gather at Stonehenge for the Summer Solstice. All that's missing is the wicker man
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good morning, Philadelphia. Nice oil refinery you had there
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
How would you know if someone put Lysol in your pickle juice anyway?
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Animal hospital removes 19 baby pacifiers from dog's stomach, tells owners to stop letting it go to raves
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
It's finally official: Alaska is cold as hell
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
While you were sleeping, Trump ordered military strikes on Iran, then either changed his mind or forgot what he was doing. Good luck sleeping tonight
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Don't you dare call this North Carolina pool owner racist. Seriously, he may take legal action against you
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Milwaukee police tighten use of force rules. You now might survive an encounter with them
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Life)
 
 
 
Extreme wealth and ego combine to make extreme unhappiness. There's no "Extremely Obvious" tag
source: torontolife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
The secret life of pallets
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
O_O This is just wrong on so many levels
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Happiest city in the US is also the most unfaithful
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Navy SEAL medic confesses, on the stand, that HE murdered teen ISIS fighter, not his S.O. Surprisingly, this is not an episode of NCIS
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
So you punched a guy, jumped in your truck, drove over him, and he dies. Dude, what were you thinking? That probation sentence is going on your permanent record
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 20, 2019
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Tow truck towing truck topples, needs tow
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
When Google did not serve up a doodle to mark Juneteenth, this Georgia artist made one of his own
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
They could easily solve this with an Etherium smart contract
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Poncho Via breaks Guinness record for being horny
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Why stop at stealing a few thousand using an fake online identity? Do the whole "fake French minister in a silicone mask" route and steal millions
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Why did the 463-pound alligator cross the road?
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop these rafters floating
source: media.voltron.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Welcome to Vancouver, here's your baby scorpions
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Avocado chunks recalled for causing people to blow chunks
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Indianapolis Diocese: Fire that gay teacher or else. Jesuits: Nah, we're good. Diocese: ALRIGHT YOU'RE FIRED THEN. Jesuits: We're still good, man. Peace out
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Possible gang related shooting outside the Deja Vu nightclub in Allentown, PA. Possible gang related shooting outside the Deja Vu nightclub in Allentown, PA. Possible gang related shooting outside the Deja Vu nightclub in Allentown, PA
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
For a country known for bad teeth, there sure seem to be a lot of Vampires and kinky sex parties (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Someone has finally figured out the best use for deepfakes: Mike Tyson and Snoop Dogg as Oprah and Gayle King
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Department of Justice)
 
 
 
21 individuals indicted for money laundering, harboring illegal aliens, and conspiracy to commit interstate commerce of stolen cooking oil. The ringleader started a nightclub on the backs of stolen cooking oil profits
source: justice.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wrestler
source: scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I modestly propose that whomever was responsible for fattening up our poor children get back on their job
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
When your high level political prisoner accidentally dies in custody, but you still need that show trial
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man emails PrideSTL's parade planners that "I'mma come to your pride fest with my guns to kill every gay person I can before I kill myself"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: BDSM as a tonic for serious illness
source: blogs.scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not tonight, my vagina is too tiny
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Three months in jail for having a bag of cotton candy isn't normal. But in the War on Drugs, it is
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Iran, their photoshop guy apparently out for the week, re-runs a photo from two years ago as proof that the drone they shot down was over their territory. Hope no one notices. They notice (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
If you've taken $4.8M worth of equipment from Florida VA medical centers, Governor DeSantis would like you to stop. Also, that's impressive, but still wrong
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man pulls a Van Gogh
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
It look like America will be spending $400 billion over the next 20 years building walls after all; but they'll be for keeping out the sea
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Police are "suspicious" of a woman found dead near a road in Florida. Mostly because what isn't suspicious about a woman being found dead near a road in Florida?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Day)
 
 
 
Suspected shoplifter hides in store trash compactor. What could possibly go wrong?
source: theday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're trying to catch Pokemon in park after hours, don't do it while while carrying marijuana in plain sight, right Florida Man?
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this cop stopping New York City traffic in 1925
source: cdn.historydaily.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Today in Farkback - we've obviously been hiding the secret to long life from science, and you. Sorry about that
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man arrested for shooting his dog, his mother, setting house on fire, attempting to make his own Country song
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Video shows L.A. County Coroner's van swerving on freeway before employee's DUI arrest. No word how many dead
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
You know those pool floats and cardboard that people frantically throw over their cars in a hail storm? A high school baseball team put them to the test, with police radar to check their pitching speed
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Utah man says woman broke in to pet his dogs, got a drink and made herself at home. Man even home invasions are strange in Utah
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
More than 40% of young people are ditching deodorant, meaning that young people truly do stink
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
State of Alabama permitted 3M to release toxic chemicals into Tennessee River for years, records show. Residents appear shocked, but maybe it's their third eye
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bustle)
 
 
 
Photoshop this car on a roof
source: imgix.bustle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intellectualist)
 
 
 
Twitter bans God from tweeting for a day due to a pro-LGBT tweet, while they still allow hate speech to be spewed all the time due to it making more money than God makes in churches
source: mavenroundtable.io   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
Boobies
 
Attention-seeking Playboy model, 24, says her big boobs are bad becau ... and you've already clicked (possible NSFW content on page)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Gallant treats the elderly Walmart greeter with respect. Goofus does something like this guy did
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
20,000 Christians write to Netflix telling them to cancel Good Omens. That's the joke
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
A pregnant woman and her two-year-old son are intentionally mowed down by a driver whose anger can only be explained by one thing - Frank Stallone
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Job Corp to continue training young people to rake the forest
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Vaping explodes among teens, causing blast damage to faces
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Crackhead Barrel tries to redeem itself
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Get Cultured, Shakenly. Buffalo, New York. June 20th - *Added a thing for Saturday
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
In 2015 the UK government decided to introduce the world's first porn age-verification system. In 2019, three weeks before go-live, the UK government decided to delay the implementation indefinitely
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Iran says its Revolutionary Guard just shot down a U.S. drone. Someone get John Bolton a towel
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Fox Montana)
 
 
 
Bad: getting a tick bite. Really bad: getting airlifted out of the woods because of a tick bite
source: abcfoxmontana.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Northwest)
 
 
 
King County, Washington, has spent over $27,000 in attorney fees prosecuting one particularly ornery kitty cat
source: mynorthwest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. But if you do succeed, immediately go back and steal eight more bottles of liquor
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Old and busted: flesh-eating crocodile in Australia. New hotness: flesh-eating Krokodil in Australia
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 737: "Golly G". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 19, 2019
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Sure, there are quite a few cops who like to present a certain amount of bluster in their social media posts. Normally, this does not result in 72 officers simultaneously being placed on administrative duty
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPVI Pocatello)
 
 
 
Building contractor decides giant brick inlay depicting handguns is a great idea for exterior wall of new high school. "They had really good intentions, but they obviously aren't aware of the situation going on nationally with school shootings"
source: kpvi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Syrian refugee arrested in Pittsburgh on charges of terrorism and providing aid to ISIS
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southeast Missourian)
 
 
 
Missouri sheriff and Wilford Brimley cosplayer fires deputy that planned to run against him. Diabeetus
source: semissourian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
French student missed their bus, crashed their car and were dropped off at their exams by police. The Aristocrats
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Man turns himself in after his Facebook wanted poster gets 29,000 likes
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Sex Cult Leader found guilty, and not of having a Sex Pistols-slash-My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult smash up band
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breaking 911)
 
 
 
Mythbusters crew seen walking away nonchalantly
source: breaking911.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tractor
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Meh, those Canadian cities all look alike
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
For the last time, it's pronounced Gah-noose
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
Porn writer: Okay, so what if the guy breaks into his neighbor's house to steal cigarettes, but when he finds her sleeping he starts rubbing her feet? Editors: That's ridiculous. Real life: Go on
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
No
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
And Pornhub reportedly in talks to option their life story
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Hide your wife, hide your dog. Mutant 'porn star' fleas with giant penises are invading British homes
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
British royal escort involved in a car crash, injuring woman. This is not a repeat from 1997
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
It turns out the Scottish are bigger skints than blootered jakes
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
City breaks ground on a new city plaza to serve as a "commemorative public space" for the Leather Community. Surprisingly, article is not about Palm Beach, FL
source: sf.curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twisted Sifter)
 
 
 
Cool: using sand to make grave marker readable. Hero: Sand from Omaha Beach on a marker in American Military Cemetery, Normandy
source: twistedsifter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Googling 'How to Fake a Heart Attack' is no way to plan a robbery, son
source: kfiam640.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
70% of drivers don't think they'll get pulled over while high, which finally solves this mystery of why 30% of people are such horrible drivers
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop ox45tallboy's ass-kicking nephew
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Tube pusher took £600 of crack. Oh geez, British cop math... 6 shillings per quid... 28 grams per bushels, 16 ounces per pound means ... he smoked 8 kilos? Ease up there Mr. Smoke Too Much
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Happy Juneteenth Day
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lex 18)
 
 
 
"Squirrel problem" shuts down Kentucky Internet project funding. Drew denies all wrongdoing
source: lex18.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
He also lost a Honus Wagner, and a rare football card of Tom Brady congratulating an opposing QB who defeated him in a Super Bowl worth $12,000
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Scientists challenge the notion of binary sexuality with naming of a new plant species. Of course it's a tomato - we still don't know if it's a vegetable or a fruit
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Some people celebrate with fireworks, others with assault rifles
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
There are no laws preventing seniors from owning property in Canada even if they are blind. Homeowner did not see that coming
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side through 11 landmarks in gay New York
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNDU South Bend)
 
 
 
Actually officer, I wasn't blitzed, that severed torso in the passenger seat was driving
source: wndu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Nigerian zoo denies that a rogue gorilla ate all their cash
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
There are actually sunken WW1 battleships up for sale on eBay, but the shipping will kill you
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The gun believed to be the gun Vincent van Gogh used to commit suicide was auctioned for $145,000. He shot himself in 1890 but the gun was not located until the late 1960s, in a field nearby where he shot himself
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sometimes the headline gives very little information, sometimes just the right amount. This headline does neither. Good luck getting the mental images out of your head, especially with accompanying pics
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Alex Jones' lawyer says that when Jones said, on air of opposing counsel "One million dollars, one million dollars you little gang member. One million dollars to put your head on a pike. ..I am going to get your ass," he :"was not threatening" him
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Largest Washington State National Guard exercise in a decade to be held in the Yakima desert, where troops can train against Sand People and possibly buy droids from Jawas
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Lamborghini Countach belonging to billionaire James Stunt found burnt down to its frame along a roadside. Perhaps he'd been attempting some sort of exciting but risky maneuver before the crash
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Airline: Sorry we couldn't fly you to where you paid for, good luck or something. Pilot: I got this
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
India will overtake China as worlds most populous country in less than 10 years
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It is Circumcision Season in the Philippines. Line forms to the right
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Old & Busted: Gun control. New hotness: McFlurry control (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Samsung tweets on checking your smart TV for viruses, then deletes it. It's like they know something already
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFF Huntsville)
 
 
 
UPDATE: The methed-out attack squirrel is okay and not actually methed-out according to (checks notes) a Facebook live video posted by the man accused of mething out the squirrel while still laying low from the cops
source: waff.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Man brings his 4-year-old girl along on home break-ins, apparently interpreting "Take your daughter to work day" far too literally
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1944, the United States won a victory over Japan in what was later known as the 'Marianas turkey shoot,' proving the superiority of US Naval Aviation and the military truth that you never get between an American and food
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Rhino poachers killed by goat. Baaaaa
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Caption this tasty hug
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The first "Robocop" is on the beat protecting the citizens of Huntington Park, California, and it's a lot less Omni Consumer Products E209 and a lot more RobCo Protectron than expected
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
High walking Wallenda girl who broke every bone in her face falling 40ft, is preparing to break every bone in her body in Times Square without a safety net
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Phoenix Police Chief: There will be real changes in our department and how we police. Citizens: OK, start by naming and firing the cops who cursed at and threatened a pregnant woman and her child. Police Chief: Whoa, whoa, let's not get crazy now
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Kentucky man eats nothing but raw meats, sheep stomachs, spleens, livers and testicles, but not hooves or horns
source: whatsnew2day.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
When heroic Captain "Sully" Sullenberger wants to kick your ass, you know you've done screwed up
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
I can't believe this even needs to be said, but if you find military ordnance on the beach do NOT take it home as a garden decoration
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
Teen and young adult suicide hits highest level since, well, since the last group of teens and young adults all killed themselves off
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The problem with taking a toddler to an art exhibition is that the giant fly he thinks its a toy is actually worth €50,000 and those wings he broke don't just snap back on
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
New law makes stealing packages from doorsteps a felony in Texas, which being Texas probably means you can now shoot porch pirates on sight
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Cocaine dealer keeps low profile by: 1.) Always using a middleman, 2.) accepting only cryptocurrency, 3.) conducting deals in public wearing shirt with 'COKE' emblazoned on front
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman chutes herself, now fighting for life, this headline is garbage
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This will be the best story you read today, and just might make your week
source: albertbridgecapital.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Young Chinese women enjoy showing off their body hair in selfie contests. You may not enjoy it quite as much
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Biking and balls and beer... oh, my!
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
Boobies
 
Adult performers to picket Instagram HQ over company's nude photo rules... and you've clicked already
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Another superlative-gone-wrong story. This time, principal uses the Alice Cooper defense
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Mic drop moment at press conference where this hero cop expertly rugby tackles a stalker criminal who was harassing a young girl
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Photoshop this profile
source: cdnph.upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday, here's a pooch with Fainting Dog Syndrome
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
So basically, they take an etch-a-sketch to your body to give you six pack abs with no exercise and no dieting? Sounds AWESOME
source: washfm.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Europe's second-oldest living person moves up a rank
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
That's nuts
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Heads up fellow drunks, here come the sobriety influencers to do damage to our booze-filled minds
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
It's called "once in a lifetime" because the chances of you being dead very soon are really high
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Idiocracy was a documentary
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
New report issued by Doctor Obvious Phd from the University of Noshiat Sherlock shows rent has become unaffordable in every state
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Old Skool: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt. New Skool: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to use social media and to remove all doubt
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Magician's body found. TA-DAA
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
In awe at the size of this goldfish someone flushed. Absolute unit
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Defense News)
 
 
 
Hey remember in "Top Gun" when Tom Cruise's Maverick goes into an unrecoverable flat spin in his F-14 resulting in the sad loss of Antony Edwards' Goose? Good news, the F-35 "just does that" during normal max flight maneuvers. Also, don't fly too close
source: defensenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
"Make $9 million in your spare time" says alleged internet millionaire
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Canadian permafrost is melting 70 years earlier than expected. So much for the "perma" part, eh?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Subby swears every word in this headline is true: Lenny Dykstra went dumpster diving with Sprinkles the Clown for 9 hours behind a Jersey Mike's to retrieve his $80,000 dentures
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
Step 1: Break into neighbor's garage. Step 2. Steal live-streaming surveillance camera, but forget to turn camera off. Since this is Fark, you can probably guess Step 3
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
Is that an 18 inch machete in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
Christian parents pull kids from camp after they learn about gay counselor, being fired
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 18, 2019
(CNN)
 
 
 
You lose 16 tons what do you get? Up to your neck buried in cement. St Peter don't you call me cause I can't go. I owe half a billion to the company store
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
It is not a good week to shop at Costco in California
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Thoughts and prayers Mate, only thoughts and prayers
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Of all the Nopes I've ever seen on Fark, this is got to be one of the Nopest Nopes I've ever Noped here
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bothell-Kenmore Reporter)
 
 
 
Man arrested for 1972 murder out on bail before trial. Jeez, at this rate, they may not get a conviction before the heat death of the universe
source: bothell-reporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Boaty MCBoatface finally gets wet
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
A needed reminder - occasionally the good guys win
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Sing a song of sixpence, pocket full of filler, Four and thirty, songbirds in hair curlers
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
Let me continue to sing you the song of my people (until at least 2030)... BRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 4 San Antonio)
 
 
 
Guy gets a job so he can afford an earring. Now that he's wearing an earring, he can't work at his job
source: news4sanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
If you're going to get arrested for drunk driving, do it in a Soviet T-55 tank
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Killing someone on holy ground may violate the laws of the Highlander, but Florida Woman plays by her own set of rules
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unhappy meal
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Woman's credit card application denied due to her untimely death, raising fears of a lack of access to credit for an entire generation of zombies and vampires
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Raytheon integrates gamer-style interface to Patriot Missile batteries, potentially allowing for elite missile customization options to be obtained from loot boxes
source: defence-blog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Move over Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog and make way for The Attack Squirrel of Alabama
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Manatee woman arrested for death of daughter. Boy, this CRISPR use is getting out of hand
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
It's not quite Whore Island, but it is pretty close
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
NBA Finals over. Weary of 4-hour baseball games. Not a fan of soccer, and golf is like watching paint dry. How about Michelle Obama vs. James Corden in Dodgeball, featuring Sherlock, Samwell, Jupiter Jones, the WH press secretary
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
If you've ever been playing Grand Theft Auto and thought "you know what would be cool? If this was underwater and I was a shark" then today is your lucky day
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Fukuoka man arrested for coolly shoplifting 49" TV weighing 26 lbs from electronics store. "I stole it because I wanted to use it at home"
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Northwest)
 
 
 
"Homeless camp accidentally gets Seattle man's dog high"
source: mynorthwest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Cops swarm NYC park after emergency personnel declare 'life-like doll' dead
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these penguins having a snowball fight
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
👌👎😡👉🏢
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Lesson here is never joke about pulling a gun on someone, even if you did it
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Please note: hazing rituals for new employees should involve potentially embarrassing and humiliating things for them, not for their patients at your urology clinic
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
-- --- .-. ... .. -... ..- .-. .. . -.. .- - -.. .- .-- -
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
I learned a thing or two from laundry don't you know. You better stay away from copperhead loads
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
It might sound utterly weird, but the dairy cows at Cinnamon Ridge run on coffee creamer. "It does sound a little cannibalistic, but that's not true at all"
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Another day, another 5-foot snake in a car engine
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pew Research)
 
 
 
For the first time ever, global population is projected to stop growing
source: pewresearch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Ants. Ants. Ants
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
After complaining of abdominal pain for a decade, woman has worm removed. Both are expected to recover
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Taco Bell is giving away free tacos today with no purchase required. So if you have to pay for your taco access the rest of the year, today's your lucky day
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
If you're the one who's been vandalizing this church's "God's doors are open to all" message, they hope you'll stop. Also, you're an asshole
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Hello Drew, your password is **********, I have evidence of what you do on the internet and will share it with all of Fark if you don't greenlight this post
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Domino's new autonomous robots will use pizza as bait in their hunt for Sarah Connor
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Dallas shooting photographer with balls of steel: "I just prayed that he didn't walk past me"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2019-06-09 to Sat 2019-06-15 - 8chan, skunks, takes a whiskey drink, and Slate
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Flesh-eating cocaine: This is your ear. This is your ear on drugs. This is your ear on the floor
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Crews remove Agent Orange from Oregon Lake, profoundly disappointing fans of 80's skate punk music
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
It's wrong to laugh at another man's pain, but it's also hard to not laugh at this video of a man crushing his own balls while crossing his legs
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
This may come as a shock to you, but schools wildly underreport the number of times they use restraints and seclusion on students. Judge Rotenberg Educational Center nods sagely, tases another student
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Outline)
 
 
 
Behold...the MAN...the LEGEND...Lord Rod, the Mazda Miata sweet potato huckster
source: theoutline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
LAPD officer who shot three people in Costco was attacked without warning while holding his toddler, according to police, who say he was also hand-feeding baby ducklings and painting a portrait of baby Jesus while healing the sick
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1815, Napoleon was defeated at Waterloo by the Duke of Wellington, forcing him to abandon his plans for conquest of Europe and embark on a new career of inspiring Bugs Bunny cartoons
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Dangerous, ferocious, and all around feared pit bull saves family from fire, even carrying baby out by diaper. No doubt to attack and slaughter them at a later, undetermined time
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Magnitude 6.4 quake strikes Japan. Hold on to your butts again
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Lawn mower takes out bridge
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Oh, and global warming is going to eat your flesh too
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Woman buys skeleton at yard sale, straps it in the front seat. Stops at the grocery store later. Hilarity ensues
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Woman tries to burn down neighbor's home, is busted by her own security cameras
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
So, what year did the War of 1812 begin?
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Um, maybe Americans should stop visiting the Dominican Republic
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
The CEO of the company flying huge American flag said he'll pay the fines the city is demanding but will not take the flag down. He said he's even willing to go to jail over this debate. "The flag is not coming down under any circumstance"
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMBC Kansas City)
 
 
 
"Sir, this is an Arby's"
source: kmbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Surveillance videos capture mystery man in a hazmat suit ringing doorbells at night in Kansas
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop these racing greyhounds
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Stop asking for beer in frosty glasses. Here are the cold hard facts, according to science
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Bicyclist who had the right of way and struck a woman on her phone is found liable for half the damages
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man sues beer company after barman refuses to sell him Pink IPA because it's marketed for girls. Yes, he's wearing a fedora in his picture
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Alternative transportation, condiments, and drunk celebrities are all here on the Fark Weird News Quiz, June 2-8 Pickle Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Airport passenger tries to board plane with 6 smoke grenades in carry-on bag
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Robocalls turn deadly
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Get a job
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northern Territory News)
 
 
 
There are two ways you could describe this video: "Horror as giant octopus attacks diver" OR "Octopus attacks diver but the diver doesn't even notice." Hint: The newspaper is owned by Rupert Murdoch
source: ntnews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Millionaire punished for creating jobs
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Armed with just a banana, man robs bank & splits
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Alabama Christian troll church-state separation advocates, decide public high school football field is better location than church for baptizing 18 football players
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Of course they have. Interesting and scary tags being shot by police
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
Contractor involved in a Wisconsin gas line explosion hires a crew that proceeds to drill into a cast iron water line. And the circle of fail is complete
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Welcome to Gay Hell. Seriously
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
"Why women in tech are being Photoshopped in instead of hired" (with bonus BINGO card)
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
Topeka police offer to give dads a memory that will last a lifetime. Apparently some people have a problem with this
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Could this bee a more terrible decision?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Come on, who gets 25 speeding tickets in four years without losing their license?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Fraud, private jets and a Lamborghini: ten televangelists who have faced controversy. And yep, he's on the list. Yep, him too
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 17, 2019
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Bullwinkle makes a huge moose-stake and breaks into closed pizza parlor
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Vatican debates married priests in Amazon. Bet those would be some interesting reviews
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Costco is apparently now selling mass shootings in bulk
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Two arrested and four people seriously injured in shooting during Toronto Raptors Championship Parade. If it weren't for poor shooting and multiple injuries, they wouldn't be having a parade in the first place
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter