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Sun June 16, 2019
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Oh, we're sorry, did you not hear us the first time? We've brought a few of our friends so we could say it a little louder
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Air ambulance bills causing Americans' finances to go into a fully inverted uncontrolled descent with no autorotation available and the tail rotor snapping off and falling onto a crowded school bus
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amazon)
 
 
 
No matter what body type you have, this is an affordable way to make a statement on the beach, ladies
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this majestic flamingo
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
If this dude loves water so much, why is he just wasting it? Shouldn't a water worshiper be saving water instead of wasting it
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Okay, so how much money DO you need to buy a house? Think you know? Well, think again
source: twocents.lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Poolnado? Florida? But of course (with video)
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Welcome to the Three-Country Cairn, where you can go in a 40 foot circle between Finland, Sweden, and Norway. Bonus: It's in the middle of a lake, so the Norwegian government put it there for that exact purpose
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
That recent Costco shooting just got more interesting as an off duty LAPD officer was the shooter, killing one "attacker" and critically wounding two of the deceased's family members
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these soldiers
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDBJ 7 Roanoke)
 
 
 
After a year recovering in the burn ward, teen speaks out against fire challenge. ICYMI, the fire challenge is where you set yourself on fire
source: wdbj7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Woman expects bank that has gone through several mergers, acquisitions and consolidations to cash a 32-year-old cashier's check for $18,600. Subby now has a handprint on his face
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It's Father's Day, so let's hear some Dad Jokes. LGT Chicken Noodle News' Dad Joke Generator
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Hey mom, remember that DNA test kit you bought for me as a gift? Yeah, well, Father's Day is going to get kind of awkward for you from now on
source: expo.nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Want to live in New York City but don't want to live in New York City? Have I got just the thing for you
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Electrical power out in Uruguay and Argentina. The entirety of both countries. The sun is there, but only until about 7 p.m or so
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Handing out a "most annoying boy" trophy to an autistic student? Yep, you bet that's a firing
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this aquarium visitor
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Emergency room personnel call motorcyclists "future organ donors," and steering your bike with your feet while texting is a great way to prove them right
source: motoridersuniverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spontn80)
 
 
 
12th Annual Dear Daddy thread. What would you say to your dad today if you could?
source: dangrigor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
What ever happened to the world we grew up in that was filled with green plastic strawberry baskets, webbed lawn chairs, and people playing solitaire on their desktop computers?
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Eleven year old armed with a machete sends home invader to the hospital....where the cops let him escape
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
I wonder which way the wind was blowing?
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
I'm not saying that it's C.H.U.D., but...it's C.H.U.D
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Metro Times)
 
 
 
Woman in wheelchair fires stun gun at McDonald's worker for being rude, taking too long. Police arrived and told the woman to slow her roll
source: metrotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Hundreds of people in ____ gathered at a church to celebrate a gay rat wedding. A) San Francisco B) Boston C) Alabama
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inc)
 
 
 
CAT sues CA Coffee shop Caterpillar and Cloud Coffee on Caturday. Confused? You won't be after this week's episode of "Cats"
source: inc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
They probably ate a bad cheeseburger in paradise
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Free lawn mulch in Washington State
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Farmers are switching their crops from vegetables to hemp as marijuana legalization causes Illinois to spiral out of control and into reefer madness
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Pro Tip: If the $149,000 villa you are bidding on is going for less than $10,000, double check that you aren't actually bidding on a 1ft strip of land next door
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Eighty-five year old retired gay Minister finds second wind in life as a pornstar. Difficulty: Alabama
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
What happened to you? Grandparents
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grist)
 
 
 
Plan B: Everyone moves to Russia
source: grist.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 15, 2019
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Alex Jones offers $1 million for information about who "hacked" child pornography onto his servers. He also admits he doesn't have $1 million, which kind of makes it seem like he's making an offer he knows he'll never have to pay out
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Is your child pinned helplessly in a car wreck? There's an app for that
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
Wow, that's an expensive non-haircut
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Saying he has "a little getting even to do," O.J. Simpson takes a stab at Twitter
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Boeing Company: "There i$ ab$olutely no rea$on why the 737 MAX $hould never fly again. It'$ a$ $afe a$ any aircraft currently in the $kie$. Our $afety record $peak$ for it$elf"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pointer
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Californians better start raking the woods a lot more thoroughly than they did last year
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
Target misses the money shot
source: mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
14-year-old New Jersey 8th grader stabs his principal right in his gymnasium. Pricipal caught bladeof
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this well-camouflaged photographer
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
If you thought all those nifty safety features in your new car were going save you a ton on car insurance, think again
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Outraged that his daughter's medically necessary ear piercing was banned at school, rather confused man glues himself to the school gates
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Too cheap to pay your kitchen workers a decent wage? Make your customers support them instead
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
And now for some good news. Because we all could use a bit of good news in today's soul-crushing world
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Listen, it's a not a cover-up. It's a just a tradition in the Dominican Republic to cremate all tourists who die in our hotels and then send back the ashes. Plus, it's cheaper for when we send you the bill
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
If you want to keep your naked pics private, don't share them with strangers. Or with a friend whose girlfriend has access to his Facebook account
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Not to alarm anyone, but Greenland has a lot of ice melt recently, MUCH more than usual
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reader's Digest)
 
 
 
Why is this even a question? What are you people, a bunch of savages?
source: rd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hero cop defends people's right to sit in puddles
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KDRV Medford)
 
 
 
Under the new marijuana laws in California, the old game of whack-a-mole continues unabated
source: kdrv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Little girl steals Barbie doll from dollar store. How do police respond? A) Follow her family home, B) Surround their car, guns drawn, C) Drag her father from the car, shouting profanity-laden orders, or D) All of the above
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this seal
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
26-pound cat helping raise awareness on pet obesity. Meanwhile, your cat just stole your lunch on Caturday
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Walla Walla Union-Bulletin)
 
 
 
Cure for affluenza found
source: union-bulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
"So, you're saying you want a rehearsal dinner and your spouse is another woman? I'm sorry, we're going to have to refer you to someone else because we don't condone that kind of relationship"
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Have you ever been really pissed at your roommate? I mean REALLY PISSED??
source: 1380kcim.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLOS 13 Asheville)
 
 
 
Walhalla woman wasted while wriding wee wheels
source: wlos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Woman shot in the back while attending funeral. Two confirmed dead
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
How not to make a YouTube video... Florida edition
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Breast milk only works from breasts? I can't even express
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Shootout at Costco in California: one dead, a few injured and soiled underwear in bulk as emergency exits failed to open
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical News Today)
 
Weeners
 
What causes dry skin on the penis? According to this article, it could be anything from chaffing to penis AIDS supercancer
source: medicalnewstoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Is Saudi Arabia about to legalize alcohol? Um, I would not bet my head on it
source: bnnbloomberg.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Article asks "Why did Michigan just drop all charges in the Flint water crisis?" Answer: See tag
source: earther.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
After the giraffe story and now this, subby won't be traveling in pairs during thunderstorms anymore
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 14, 2019
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Meet the man who traveled to all 50 states to mow lawns for free for veterans. Amazing mowtivation
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman gets outraged after racist insult left on receipt, demands justice on social media, and the owner of the local business very publicly and decidedly gives her that justice
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Someone is aiming rockets at targets near the U.S. embassy in Baghdad
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Climate change is not an existential threat to civilization ...it's just going to kill lots and lots of people
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
You might not be cut out for carjacking if the delivery driver manages to lock you inside his truck until the cops arrive
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Tubman $20 bill was ready to go despite Steve Mnuchin's claim that it would be delayed for technical reasons. Mnuchin says Tub Girl $5 bill still on track
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
♫ Sweet Fentanyl (Sweet Fentanyl), My Fentanyl (My Fentanyl), Was supposed to be, My Heroin (My Heroin) ♫
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Federal Authorities raid 8chan, will spend years in therapy for various rule 34 violations
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Cocaine will kill you. Not like that. Or like that. This is...new (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop these wonky shelves
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Sweet I think I got flatscreen on the line, reel reel reel
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
I swear Health & Safety's getting silly now. You can add 'possibly live hand grenades' to the list of things you're not allowed to bring to show & tell. Bloody snowflakes
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Nice job on that victory for privacy rights. Enjoy your prison sentence
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good news California law breakers You can now possess jazz cabbage while in your cell, you just have to Pinky Swear you won't break the law. ( ~ ʖ °)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Flight to Paris rerouted to Detroit due to a passenger impersonating a Delta employee
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
UberCopter to start offering rides from Lower Manhattan to JFK for $200-225 for the eight mile trip. Which coincidentally is the same price for an eight mile trip in Manhattan using an Uber car during surge pricing
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Addicted Barrie nurse fired for stealing fentanyl gets crack at reinstatement. Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing phrasing
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Vermont motorist Kevin Bacon, 55, was on his phone searching for the "Screech's Spaghetti Sauce" episode of "Saved by the Bell" when he sideswiped a police car
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
New reason to dislike the Dutch: their Media's apparent reckless use of anti-aircraft weaponry
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Tribune Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lady and her avocados
source: trbimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
It's totally normal for a D1 school to create a nonprofit to run athletics and therefore shield itself from public records requests, right?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Because nothing is more comforting than watching a Teddy Bear pee into your veins
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Gator with knife sticking out of his head seen swimming in Texas lake. Crocodile Dundee spotted leaving the area
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Residents watch the running of the bulls in the streets. Fark: In Baltimore
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
While shortly after the Notre Dame tragedy nearly a billion dollars was pledged for reconstruction by French super rich, most of the donations thus far have come from Murica
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
One more thing to add to the list of things you can't do while black: Celebrate winning an NBA Championship with the team you run
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Granny panties are the latest sexy trend, said no one ever (NSFW)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
If you're an active member of the military with an inert grenade, maybe you shouldn't carry that on a commercial flight in your checked luggage
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
ACME police take out coyote that attacked a mother and son. Beep, beep
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newschannel 9)
 
 
 
Seriously, who steals a bobcat?
source: newschannel9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Your Newfoundland weather report: Bottomless Pond now practically topless. Dildo still waits to get pounded
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
Gorilla arrives back at Cincinnati Zoo after long court battle. Where does a 500-lb gorilla sit in a courtroom? Anywhere he wants
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Streamable)
 
 
 
Orioles fan beats kid to foul ball: "I know it's terrible but I've been coming here for 30 years"
source: streamable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newschannel 9)
 
 
 
Two men in Tennessee rescued after being stranded on an island with nothing but a bottle of rum and a shotgun. Fark Party?
source: newschannel9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Police cracking down on counterfeit A: Cash? B: Jewelry? or C: Delaware license plates?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
If you're a Justice of the Peace, third grade teacher and school bus driver don't yell at the cops when they pull you over for a BAC that's twice the legal limit. They have to arrest you, even in Arkansas
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
He only had two miracles and one of those was a card trick
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
"Baby Shark Live" tour to devastate 100 U.S. cities this fall
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Man who invented Lucky Unicorn Nipples finally gets a store to agree to sell them. "Flick 'em, rub 'em, suck 'em." Looks exactly like you think he would
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Woman sentenced to 20 years in prison in connection with the death of her adopted granddaughter now faces escape charges after apparently gliding away from prison like a flying squirrel
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Valedictorian gives scorched-earth graduation speech
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Tribune Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this greenhouse worker
source: trbimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
Expert hired by Vallejo County PD says it was perfectly reasonable for them to shoot a man sleeping in his car 55 times
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
♫ It was an itsy bitsy teeny weeny plastic buckle strap bikini that absolutely no one could wear ♪ (not safe for work)
source: au.lifestyle.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
PSA: if you're a cop who tries to taze an already subdued suspect, make sure you don't miss and hit your partner instead
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Live South Africa)
 
 
 
Today's pre-written Fark headline: Gym pulls out before masturbation case reaches court climax
source: timeslive.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Gender reveal parties. New hotness: C-Section parties
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Religious people raise hell at NY state capitol, will now raise healthy children against their will
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Department of Justice)
 
 
 
So you've been caught using another person's name and a fake social security number. What do you do? Convince the government to give you the real social security number for your adopted identity
source: justice.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
What a shiatty way to go
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Tired of washing your hair the old fashioned way? Now there is a machine to save you from that drudgery
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 13, 2019
(FTV Live)
 
 
 
Now reporting haboobs and monsoons for all of Arizona, the Weather Pukemobile
source: ftvlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
If you're cheating at business, don't store the hidden camera videos you're making of your tenants farking on the same Google Drive account
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
It's gotta start somewhere
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Tempe manages to seize land owned by a family since before Arizona existed. Ta-daaa
source: amp.azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Christchurch Shooter: "I'll livestream my attack against a mosque." Also Christchurch Shooter: "I'm innocent, I tell you"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you're going in for an angioplasty, make sure the doctor doesn't leave 57 inches of wire inside your body for 10 years
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Nostradamus: Pfft, get on my level
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Woman l'oses case against L'Oreal after she l'acked responsibility of reading the directions
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You're gonna steal ninety-six beers You're gonna steal ninety-six beers You're gonna steal steal steal steal now You're gonna steal steal steal steal Ninety-six beers
source: iosconews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shreveport Times)
 
 
 
After 726 arrests and one death, Shreveport, Louisiana will now allow sagging pants
source: shreveporttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Grace Jones dead. Short illness, judging by how pale she looks in recent photo
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this grave portrait
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
What is a Jeopardy caption contest?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Weird jobs 101: Narrating a tour boat while jumping off and on piers to deliver mail. Note: Boat will not stop (w/ video)
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mickey: Ah - deh sah-sez-fren-forcher, and dah scar-her-cushons, wit dah matsen-seck-way-Core-Ver. Royal family: GTFO
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A school district was a little too efficient when it approved a $660,000 expense based on a single email. A Florida credit union was equally efficient when the scammer tried to deposit $500,000 from it
source: hubcitytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Lionel toy train co-owner dead at 89. Viewing to occur at 6:15 in basement track and to repeat every sixty seconds
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1381, a peasant rebellion led by Wat Tyler marched into London and executed the Bishop of Canterbury. Reprisals were immediate, if slowed somewhat by the King of England repeating 'Wat? Wat?' over and over again
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
People used to try to predict the future with chickens, entrails, wax-and even cheese
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Tell the truth, lose your job. Just another day in the Land of the Free™. Now back to your regularly scheduled EVERYBODY PANIC DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL, citizen
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Radio Wave)
 
 
 
Photoshop this surfer chewing
source: img11.nnm.me   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
Six people arrested in shooting of David Ortiz. Surprisingly, Kevin Gregg not among them
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Pharmacy tech charged with stealing thousands of Xanax, in what is to be the most relaxed trial of all time
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Borrowing Grandpa's SUV to run to the gas station isn't normally a problem, unless you're 4 years old and can barely see over the steering wheel
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Apparently someone thought it was a good idea to dump barrels of Agent Orange at the bottom of a pristine Oregon lake
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPRI Rhode Island)
 
 
 
Parents everywhere will soon be buying subby's new-to-market Rabid Attic Honey Badger Kit
source: wpri.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to get drunk on Asahi and Sapporo and go fly drones around Tokyo? 刑務所だ
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
If you're a Saudi woman who has no more farks to give that repressive, patriarchal regime, and you decide to run away, you'll want to ditch your cell phone if you don't want the drone strike treatment for your troubles
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Amanda Knox returns to Italy to speak at the Innocence Project Conference hosted by Admiral Akbar
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Guests stand in line for ten hours for new Hagrid ride at Universal Orlando, apparently unaware that one can get a ride from a large hairy man much more quickly down at the interstate rest stop
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
At a certain point, you have to just accept that your attempted flight from police custody is going nowhere, as you drive in circles around and around in a mobile home park
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
After violent clashes in Memphis over the death of a man shot there during an arrest left 24 officers injured, Tennessee officials would like to remind the public that it was U.S. MARSHALS that killed the man, NOT Memphis PD
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Chick-fil-a really hates the gays, but child molesters? Not so much
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Monkey flips the bird, puts the lime in the coconut etc (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Store name checks out. Bonus content: MySpace photo angle
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
18-year-old college student cashes in on SEVEN sugar daddies who she loves to dress as a sexy schoolgirl for ...and you've clicked already
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISTV)
 
 
 
...so an opossum walked into an Applebee's bar
source: wistv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Folks)
 
 
 
Photoshop this call center
source: callminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
One of the top tourists destinations in Japan is basically a big game of Frogger because Japan
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
He served time for robbing banks. Now he wants back in prison because the government is robbing him
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
This funicular is rated for 20 people from the 1900s or 1 person from the 2000s. Bonus: the manager is a Mr. Tipping
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Police chief apologizes for starting all that "it was a parking dispute" BS after "disputing guy" pleads guilty to murdering three Muslims
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Removing Confederate statues. New hotness: Removing an actual slave auction block and the historical plaque that accompanies it. *wipes hands on pants* See? Nothing bad ever happened here
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Colorado has collected over one billion dollars in tax from legal weed trade
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBNG Binghamton)
 
 
 
This year's graduating class at Norwich High School has everyone seeing double
source: wbng.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Mormon Millionaire goes on a matchmaking group date with 20 women, a perfect way for his future wives to get to know each other
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
This is happening, or, well, something is happening in the Gulf of Oman. Vague information to the left. Jumping to conclusions to the right
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Gordon Ramsay voice: THIS PORK IS SO DRY EVEN AN ALLIGATOR WOULDN'T EAT IT
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 736: "Fur Babies". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 12, 2019
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If a house is dirty, who is to blame? It depends. Does the house contain a woman?
source: workingmother.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Johnson drowned by bollocks
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
Driver accidentally cuts off another driver in traffic. What's the worst that could happen? (Hint: Florida)
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Ew
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Teen blames laced marijuana after throwing baby in grocery store parking lot, then stripping off clothes and running through oncoming traffic. No word if he was looking for Becky
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Suspect tries to make a clean getaway and fails spectacularly, bonus: K-9 unit gets a chewy treat
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Armed intruder flees apartment by jumping out of third-story window before being caught by police. Bail set at $100K, as he's definitely a flight risk
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Five women recorded brawling in North Carolina intersection exchanged punches over allegation of jewelry theft at mobile home park. Color me surprised
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Protip: Before leaving your school bus in the district transportation lot, make sure there are no children still left on it
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Rob Lowe apologizes before the future head of the Church of England begins summoning bears
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy and his sofa
source: michael-young.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
And the Lord sayeth - sue for me and my disciples so we may receive your holy tax dollars without contributing. So I did
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor cocaine nor meth nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
So what DO you do as a struggling college student with loads of debt? Take on more loads of course. (may be NSFW if you work in a convent)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
In Oakland, California, you can get wooden stilts, vintage Playboys, and doggy diapers for FREE
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
So an Amish guy steals a car, crashes it, and walks into a bar
source: explorevenango.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Not happy with the price of a cheeseburger at McDonalds? There are many ways to deal with that, such as asking for a discount, eating someplace else, attacking the cashier with a fire extinguisher. Wait, what?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
How long does it take for soiled underwear to fall 103 stories?
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Ron Goldman's family claims O.J. Simpson trial was rigged because "the defense team was a group of men whose single goal was to get their client off". Two things: a) Isn't that the job of a defense team and b) PHRASING PEOPLE
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Cop questions kid who played with toy money for exactly the reason you think
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Drunk driver slams into apartment building, hitting a baby in a crib. The baby's OK, the driver looks like he ordered two Fist McKnuckle sandwiches to go
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Over 300,000 people are being evacuated along the west coast of India due to Cyclone Vayu. Apparently, they don't have shotguns over there
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
Bay Area Rapid Transit takes the Larry the Cable Guy approach to handling the heat problem on their trains
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Are you really a millionaire if you can't pay for your tall boys at a truck stop and hide in the ladies room?
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Bacterial enzymes within human feces can convert blood into type 0. Well, shiat
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
For the man who has everything. "For Sale: 'Haunted' Medieval Prison That Held Accused Witches." With helpful image of a witch being lowered into water. Well, it's a fair cop
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Solar System
source: cdnph.upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Kids, don't buy drugs. Become a Canadian and they'll give you them for free
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Former Louisiana sheriff arrested for rape and incest. His attorney Billy Gibbens offered no comment beyond, "a-haw haw haw haw"
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Missile now arriving at Gate 13. Please be seated until you are called to board
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Island off the coast of Ireland wants you Americans to live there. Difficulty: It's loaded with good musicians, great Irish whiskey and high-speed internet. Downside: You have to live with about 500 drunken Irish people
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Record heat expected in Seattle, as thousands of residents emerge from the haze to hiss at the sun
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Former Stanford sailing coach who took bribes from wealthy parents will get up to 13 months in prison. Gosh, 9 months, seems like a long time. Who knows where we'll be in 4 months? Hope those 2 months give him time to reflect. Oh, wait, he's out
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Suspect in 2015 robbery, shooting of San Dimas Quiznos owner charged with capital murder most heinous
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The best places to buy a home are nowhere anyone wants to live
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Utahn arrested for shooting deputy in Jack in the Box, which thankfully is not a euphemism
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Astronomy Magazine)
 
 
 
Finally the end of civilization could be within your lifetime: Powerful solar "superflare" now in the forecast
source: astronomy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"We want to keep our pagers"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
College student uses Snapchat's gender-swap filter to Chris Hanson a cop
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
'Free Willy' bill has nothing to do with 'clothing optional Fridays' in Canada
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
You don't even own a TV? That's cute. This guy has never drank a coffee, ordered delivery, or owned a credit card
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Catholic schoolgirls continue to dress the wrong way, leaving boys no choice but to harass them
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
B-2 stealth bombers get a 1/4 mile to the gallon, less when bombing cities. YMMV
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Florida woman had $100,000 in her car when she crashed into a concert and hit two people
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Miami soccer bar not expected to rethink its unfortunately timed "free shot after every USWNT goal" promotion
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Police chief gives $575 ticket to driver for throwing lit cigarette out car window, but at least it's in Canadian dollars
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Meeting)
 
 
 
Caption this town hall discussion
source: s.hdnux.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Penis prank. Penis prank. Penis prank
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Only if your last name is Shaft
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Observers upset at Tesla driver's use of the Snooze Control
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guam Daily Post)
 
 
 
Three men rescued from capsized canoe 70 miles off Yap, which they'll keep shut next time they think of going 70 miles out to sea in a canoe
source: postguam.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Thieves steal device 8-year-old uses to talk. Here's hoping it spews profanity at them until they return it
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Couple uses pet alligator to reveal 10th child's gender
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Denver Zoo says male flamingo pair has been together for several years, could raise chick as surrogate parents. And yes, they're named after Freddie Mercury and Lance Bass
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Pilot who crashed helicopter in Manhattan radioed that he was lost. Then it hit him
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Posts from the plant on social media include one showing a woman with a hazmat suit undone to reveal a G-string." And now everyone else has clicked; let us discuss the revolution. Tag is for radiation poisoning
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In honor of the 12th Montanan to join Fark, here are 12 things that every Montanan has done
source: onlyinyourstate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this comfy hamster
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
It's kind of embarrassing when you're introducing your character from "Ghost Recon: Breakpoint" to everyone at E3 and your own dog upstages you. Meet Bam Bam this Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
"Don't make me stab the dog. I'm not dropping the knife" is the most coherent line in this story
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Utah vigilante group 'Creep Catchers' aims to bust sexual predators. '...we are completely inundated with Utah creeps.'
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
Limo that crashed and killed 20 people last year had its registration suspended, then reinstated a few days later, But it's not cleaR whIch state officials BElieved the limo was good to go
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WA Today (Australia))
 
 
 
Kookaburras die doing what they loved, and black out a suburb in the process
source: watoday.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fly the friendly skies
source: iam141.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Steal stuff out of my car while I'm filling it up with gas? Ohellno
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Russian face slapping tournament. New hotness: Russian booty slapping championships
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
In some sort of April 1st date misconstruction, Denver proposes 911 calls answered by civilians. What could possibly go wrong
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
More proof that you should do the most important jobs yourself
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
That's about as likely as two giraffes getting hit by lightning
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 11, 2019
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The Ebola outbreak in the Congo can't get any worse. Measles: Hold my anti-vaccination pamphlets
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Jury can't convict this vile felon who was arrested for (checks notes) leaving food and water out for families crossing the border
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Ruby Tuesday customer realizes she's at a Ruby Tuesday
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you drink, don't drive - not even to flee the scene after your 12-year-old chauffeur causes a car crash
source: nationvalleynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
For one day only: a slip-and-slide an elephant could use
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGEM Quincy)
 
 
 
Rumor spreadin' around in that river town 'bout that Fourth Fest in La Grange. And you know what I'm talkin' about. Just let me know if you wanna go. It's been cancelled, too much rain. A haw, haw, haw, haw, a haw. A haw, haw, haw
source: wgem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Louisiana reports first confirmed death by marijuana overdose, confirming once and all it is a deadly narcotic
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Detention won't cut it anymore. Time for monetary fines
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Thieves steal 120 whoopie pies, drink half gallon of iced tea during break-in at a Maine fairground. Suspects are described as hyperglycemic
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Etiquette rules for modern life, plus return of Headlines of the Week
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Your lost keys are always in the last place you look
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Smoking cocoa powder delays commuter trains. Some people who try anything to get high
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wat)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: Cambodia Edition
source: static.ngs.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
FAA says helicopter pilot who crashed in NYC was not qualified to fly in clouds. TFA: "It is a true act of heroism"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: Why I Celebrate My Birthday at Chuck E. Cheese's as an Adult
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
"Police will handle amorous snapping turtles." When they're on the road, it takes a while to get them off
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
DC museum to archive Anne Frank's father's correspondence, as soon as they find someone who can read braille
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Con wearing 'COKE' shirt arrested for selling crack. Should have known 'COKE' shirts are wack
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A study by the Institute of the Blindingly Obvious says half of women choose to masturbate to relax while a quarter pleasure themselves to reduce their stress
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
NASA reiterates that the moon is still not part of mars
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Accidentally locked yourself out of your smartphone? Not to worry, Google has discovered a back door for you. And everybody else
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
You shoot a guy in your car. Do you: a) report it stolen & set it on fire, b) have it crushed and shredded, c) take it to a detailer and tell them to 'clean up the blood and replace the headrest?" Hint: this is Fark, and this was in Florida
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Photoshop: Disrupt this meditation
source: static.standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Since AIs can generate almost photorealistic human faces, let's see how they do with cats...oh my lord
source: aiweirdness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Russians found they couldn't get a drill through the world's most radioactive object, so they shot it with an AK-47 (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Man wants to get head from cryonics company
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
♫ (King Tut) How'd you get so funky? (Funky Tut) Did you do the monkey? (sold at auction) How much did you fetch? (Oh they mad) Did you make Egypt retch? ♫
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania Man tries to outdo Florida Man, this time stealing government vehicles and setting his own house on fire
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
University of Minnesota offering classes for $10 per credit hour, but only if you're from a generation that enjoyed cheap tuition the first time around
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The shooting of David Ortiz may not have been random as first reported. Word on the street is that he was targeted by hit men
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Woman caught raising endangered bear cub in her condo says she thought it was a dog. "It loved eating chocolate"
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
If you aren't panicking yet, you should probably get started RIGHT NOW. OTOH it's only Florida
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
McNaked man dances and attempts forced carnal knowledge of a walkway railing in Florida
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
8-year-old attempts to ride unicorn off into the sunset
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Legitimate businessman arrested for trespassing in legitimate businessmen's social club, taking crow bar to legitimate gambling machine
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comic Book)
 
 
 
The Wizard of Oz's iconic yellow brick road is being recreated in a Michigan park, presumably to lead you out of Michigan
source: comicbook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2019-06-02 to Sat 2019-06-08. Padres, Schroedinger, and FABULOUS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Dirt)
 
 
 
ICE using unrestricted licence plate data to track anyone. And if one government agency is doing it...
source: techdirt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Bare butts on Blue Bikes: Public rental bikes used during Naked Bike Ride
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"If you think being a witch is just sitting around doing spells all the time, you think wrong." There's all that newt eye and bat wing collecting and don't get me started on the broom maintenance
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Not news: Watching TV is making you fat. Fark: While you sleep
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Alex Jones agrees to pay $15,000 settlement to the creator of Pepe the Frog. Article is worth it for the picture alone
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Midland Reporter-Telegram)
 
 
 
Alcohol, ax throwing and rednecks. Surely nothing can go wrong with this concept since it's Texas
source: mrt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Southern Baptists announce that they will use their 2019 convention to form a consensus around two issues: sexual abuse and the role of women. Early reports are predicting that consensus will be 1) We Like It and 2) Kitchen Staff/Baby Machines
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
34-year-old woman stuck in a toy car freed after her father cuts her loose with a butter knife. And you can tell she's totally stuck and not enjoying the attention because there are pictures and video. Look, just click the link, OK? What if I tell you she's hot?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News West 9)
 
 
 
Mom forced to leave city pool area after breastfeeding because police officer says "You can't just have your titties out everywhere"
source: newswest9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
North Korean general executed by being thrown into piranha-filled fish tank. Apparently the country doesn't produce enough power to let them use the electric chair
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Photoshop this street scene
source: static.standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
Ow, my balls: Florida woman grabbed boyfriend's privates - and squeezed until there was blood (w/mugshot)
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Governor signs law allowing paramedics to carry firearms when treating Florida man
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Movie stunt driver magic. Difficulty: this was not a movie
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
If you're driving drunk (you shouldn't) possess meth (you shouldn't), don't have a license (you should) have a warrant out for your arrest (I guess you should), and paint your own license plate (you shouldn't), at least learn how to spell
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Concerned families say they'll leave California if strict vaccine bill passes. Well... bye
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Imagine with me, if you will, the rural expanse. You turn on your radio, and nothing's on but the noise, and the howling wind outside
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
Guy lives upstairs from restaurant. Guy dies upstairs from restaurant. After a few warm days guy starts dripping into restaurant
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Black 10-year-old playing on his grandmother's front lawn in Utah? Best draw your gun to be safe, officer
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Man steals pizza delivery truck for drunken joyride which ends with him handing out free pizza to friends before cops put him in jail in 30 minutes or less
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
India has a pile of garbage so tall it needs airplane warning lights
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Bicyclist passes airport and gets blown across road by jet exhaust. Probably wasn't wearing his pool noodle
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 10, 2019
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Chaotic first night under new SFO Uber rules: a feature, not a bug
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Federalist)
 
 
 
Is our kids learning moar gud wit common cores? Short anser, Nope Long Answer derpy derpy doo doo herpa derp derpy doo dah hoo ha Nope
source: thefederalist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Look officer, the cocaine in the backpack may be mine, the bag of it in my pocket might be mine, but I swear the cocaine on my face definitely does not belong to me
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KY3 Springfield)
 
 
 
Contractor paves road, puts down sticky reflectors until it is marked. Sticky reflectors won't stick due to rain so they nail them into the pavement. Now people are showing up with flat tires
source: ky3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
A list of all the states that wealthy millennials are leaving. Wait, "wealthy millennials"? What is this, I don't even
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Big Story)
 
 
 
Vodak from sheep's whey? It's actually not baaad
source: greatbigstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
How many times did this criminal mastermind try to break the hurricane-proof glass on the Spy Shop he was trying to break into with a hammer? 56. 56 times. Also, amazingly enough, the Spy Store has surveillance cameras
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
In Today's Weird or Cool From Japan -- Wait, what are you doing here Scary Tag? Some guy got pushed onto train tracks at a station for having his headphones too loud? Okay, you can take it for today (Possible NSFW ads on page)
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fast Company)
 
 
 
"The next big thing in fashion? Not washing your clothes"
source: fastcompany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Border Patrol agent rescues migrant mother, son from bee swarm, ruining Stephen Miller fantasy
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Automotive writer Davey Johnson took a test drive to the Twilight Zone
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Photoshop: Help this little guy with his sign
source: static.standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
You may have made a poor decision to break into cars when the owners tackle you and leave you on the pavement with your shorts around your ankles for the police to pick up
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
More "Swinging Through the Alphabet", tonight on Paul's Memory Bank, the song titles start with "K". Show starts at 8PM EDT. No Pierre or National anthems or any of that hockey stuff, so the show REALLY starts at 8PM ET
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
You can't even sell a large sodee pop in New York anymore without the cops getting involved. But soon you will be able to rent a large woman for sex without fear of local authorities interfering. Robert Kraft seen quivering with anticipation
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digg)
 
 
 
The literal translation of every country's name. Land of the frizzy haired men would look cool on a passport
source: digg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some cool kid)
 
 
 
4-year-old on plane taking his first flight doesn't hesitate to tell a woman to get her "stinky feet" off his armrest
source: afrinik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 7 Austin)
 
 
 
Man punches police horse after officers told him to stop urinating in public. Mongo impressed
source: fox7austin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Chicago Guy's Crime Blog)
 
 
 
Spider-men, Spider-men / climb a building, climb down again / cops will send you to jail / for the skyscraper you tried to scale / look out, two dumbass Spider-men
source: cwbchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
To protect and to serve and to mow the grass
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cosmopolitan)
 
 
 
On the plus side, your face will be fire-proof
source: cosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Jenny McCarthy's autism charity morphed into non-profit version of Goop
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBN Youngstown)
 
 
 
If found, please return to the man in yellow hat
source: wkbn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Spirit Airlines awards lifetime ban to passenger for vaping on an airplane. Lucky bastard
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digg)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woeful leopard
source: static.digg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
OJ Simpson on living a happy, healthy life: We shouldn't relive the worst day of our lives, and should instead remain in a "no negative zone." So, avoid reliving the day you killed your wife and focus instead on all the days you got away with it
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vail Daily)
 
 
 
The past and future of wolves in the Vail valley involves ranchers, cow camps, traps, poison, brutal attacks on livestock, and three wolf moon
source: vaildaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Attention SC Farkers, if you're not doing anything on June 14th, maybe you can help give this veteran a proper sendoff
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Japanese F-35 pilot fails to disengage WWII simulation mode. Yes, subby is a bad person
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Vatican questions modern concepts of gender, says there is only Man and Used-To-Be-A-Man's-Rib
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
What's causing all the tornadoes? Traffic circles. Checkmate, science
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Helicopter crashes in midtown Manhattan, would have been safer uptown
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Unilad)
 
 
 
The perfect internship doesn't exis...OH YES IT DOES
source: unilad.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
News: Grocer designs embarrassing plastic bags to shame shoppers into bringing reusable ones. Fark: Nobody can pass up bags with names like "The Colon Care Co-Op" printed on them, so now everyone wants a set
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Nineteen killed in Burkina Faso village of Ouagadougou. Ouagadougou. Ouagadougou. Ouaga. Ouaga. Ouagadougou. Yeah, subby's going to Hell
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
CCTV footage of David Ortiz shooting released. Angry crowd attacks suspect
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
How do you get superstitious Chinese passengers to stop throwing coins into jet engines? Tell them it's bad luck
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Time to update your '100 uses for an avocado' wallchart (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Burger King employee caught on camera cleaning tables with a floor mop
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USGS)
 
 
 
Not News: Small Earthquake. Definitely Not News: a 4.0 Earthquake. Maybe News: On lake Erie just off from Cleveland. (Shook subby's office building quite a bit)
source: earthquake.usgs.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Sorry, but the fact that you're wearing a baby on your chest while punching someone in the face doesn't get you out of assault charges
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Caption Big Bird and these MLB umpires
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Hypersonic airliners are less than 20 years away. As usual (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Historic German sailing ship undergoes extensive restoration and renovation. If you're reading this on Fark, you can imagine what happens next
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Dog kennel closed after Scooby's-Smack found. Creepy dog trainer unmasked as dealer. Your dog does not want heroin
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Arrested on a warrant? We're going to dump your grandmother's ashes out of the necklace you're wearing
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter