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Sun June 09, 2019
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Sunday was National Sex Day - or as it's called in Farksville, Sunday
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Boga
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medford Mail Tribune)
 
 
 
Apparently, with all other problems solved, police seize shopping carts from church food pantry. However, they will return "a seized cart from Linens 'N Things, a housewares store that closed more than a decade ago"
source: mailtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this giant statue
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
This year's corn harvest was upended by the bomb cyclone
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Breaking news: Crane collapses in Dallas. Multiple injuries reported
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Texas is the latest state to join the ever-growing "21 years old to smoke" movement. Good
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Do not believe your home will fund your retirement
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
How to save journalism...assuming we want to
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this echium wildpretii
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
I noped right out of there
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Sheriff promotes auto-theft prevention program by proudly driving car she stole to local HOA meetings
source: butlersheriff.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 30 Fresno)
 
 
 
Residents of Coal Grove, Ohio notice their municipal water supply looking a bit more purple than usual. Officials assure it's perfectly safe ... as long as you don't drink, shower or cook with it
source: abc30.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
DC Metro Twitter snitch sues publisher for $13 million over lost book deal & emotional distress
source: amp.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
This is very likely the strangest/funniest/most heartwarming story you will read on Twitter today
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
"Hi honey, did you have a good night at work? Let me fix you some breakfast." "Um, you're not my wife"
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY1)
 
 
 
Repo a cop's car for non-payment? You bet that's an arresting
source: ny1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these runners
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: The last straw
source: whatsupnewp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Okay, about the group-home kids who keep getting abused. We held the press conference and promised reforms. We even created a new agency with an impressive-sounding name. What's all this about having to actually do something?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Kid who has Down syndrome goes inside restaurant with service dog. Since this is Fark, you probably have a good idea what happens next
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 10 Albany)
 
 
 
Best way to keep mosquitoes away this summer is a) Deet-based repellent, b) long sleeves, or c) Skrillex
source: news10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
I've got a great idea, how about a cell phone case shaped like a gun? What could possibly go wrong?
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Who will win? Team Open Window or Team Closed Window?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
Pittsburgh's rare alligator trifecta complete
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"Flinging Urine" is the name of my ska NKOTB cover band
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Toronto decides that unlicensed marijuana facilities need to get stoned
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Seagull steals woman's lobster roll and then she gets all crabby about it
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been 10 days since we last banged. I lied twice, both times about how good you are in bed
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Alexa, dial 911. Florida Man just shot me
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 08, 2019
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
Why are men sporting beards again? Blame terrorists
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Car and Driver)
 
 
 
Car & Driver and Motorcyclist Magazine contributor David Gordon Johnson has been missing in Northern California since Thursday. His motorcycle was found with his helmet and folded gloves on the seat at a rest stop
source: caranddriver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Florida water park suddenly closes after electrical issues. Guests are shocked
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Despite media coverage stating the contrary, a Dutch clinic did not perform assisted suicide on a 16-year-old girl
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
A high-schooler makes porn, and everyone predictably loses their minds. Wait, everybody's actually cool with it? Are we OK with that?
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Photoshop what this robot really painted
source: static.standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
If you're driving on a suspended license with a 1-year-old in the car, it may behoove you follow all applicable speed limits and posted roadside signs. Oh, and leave the loaded gun, pot, and cocaine at home
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this delivery
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
RIP daRog. LGT his last post in LP 1122. Come post last in the big soft teddy bear's honor, here in LP 1249
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFF Huntsville)
 
 
 
"Fly More Chikin" (with video)
source: waff.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Farmer steals chickens to buy gas for his $290,000 BMW. Apparently struggling to make hens meet
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Reporting on corruption in Russia? That's an arrest for drugs found at someone else's house and for assaulting an officer's fists with your face
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Plot of spiffy new television drama or an actual news headline? Answer: Why not both?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Police spend eight months watching house through remote control video camera across the street. Judge says that's a civil rights violation
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Not content with merely providing unsanitary conditions for border detainees, CBP decides to poison the entire El Paso area
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
If you live in California, you might be a tad bit richer this morning. For the rest of the country, yeah, your math skills still suck
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GQ)
 
 
 
Beware the gambling nuns of Torrance, California...for they will clean you up while cleaning you out
source: gq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this "Picasso"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WEAR Pensacola)
 
 
 
Two cats, Scooter and Big Foot, are up for adoption at the Pensacola Humane Society. Their owner is a veteran who does not have much time to live and his final wish is to find his two friends a new home. Can anyone on Caturday give them a hand?
source: weartv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Worried about the impending Zombie Apocalypse? These safehouses are for sale. Deslided
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Army vet who died while in police custody was returned to the family for burial. Well, most of him, anyway
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
TSA again padding the reason for their existence
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newschannel 9)
 
 
 
This guy needs another face tattoo like he needs a hole in the...oh
source: newschannel9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BGR)
 
 
 
In what can best be described as a self-correcting problem, Instagram influencers are flocking to Chernobyl
source: bgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
When you gotta go, you gotta go
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A volcano in Eastern Kamchatka may not be as extinct as believed
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Homeopaths are claiming their placebos can prevent and cure measles, trying to convince parents to avoid vaccines
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCYB News 5)
 
 
 
Zoo visitors shocked to see polar bear act like a polar bear. (Warning: Possibly Graphic Video)
source: wcyb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
The Rise, Fall, and Resurgence of the Fanny Pack
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Long-time weatherman insists on using meteorological terminology instead of Sinclair Broadcasting's made up marketing BS. Forecast now calls for a firin'
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 07, 2019
(Sauk Valley News)
 
 
 
Man breaks into home, changes a few light bulbs, grabs a few beers, then gets naked and lies down on the couch next to one of the home's occupants
source: saukvalley.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
What falls out of the sky in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly Voice)
 
 
 
Florida Man: No one can do weirder stuff than me. Pennsylvania Man: Hold my beer
source: phillyvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Farmers hate it when they get beetles in their cornfield
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Nashville)
 
 
 
Whelp, there's a delivery driver that's gonna lose his job
source: fox17.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Your new Jaguar will cost an arm or a leg. How are you proposing to make the down payment? [Warning: Graphic picture]
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Model beats PTSD with CBD, ICYDK. VG, IMHO (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Decades later, Detroit finally starts boarding up abandoned houses. All it took was a serial killer using them to dump bodies
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Well, how did that happen?
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Man in speedy electric wheelchair: 1. Woman wielding shovel: 0
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
If someone tells you they run a hedge fund from a frat, chances are good they're spending the cash on booze and gambling instead
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this serene scene
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Florida man is lonely, and calls out for help. To the cops. Seventeen times
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Sacramento park to be renamed Toby
source: blavity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Montana Standard)
 
 
 
Butte pasty contest not as cool as it sounds
source: mtstandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest Indiana Times)
 
 
 
You shouldn't steal fentanyl, especially if you need to use your fingerprint and a unique code to do so
source: nwitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Economy adds 27,000 new jobs and unemployment rate falls to record low. Fark: In Canada
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Rome bans swimming in fountains, singing on public transport, eating messily, being bare chested, going on pub crawls and dressing up as a gladiator. In other words, its against the law to be a British tourist on a stag do
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you bought anything at this N.J. Dunkin' between May 18 and June 1, you might have been exposed to the hep
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Cornhole argument leads to discharge
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
911 what's your emergency? "This is the police... we're trapped in your elevator." The one in our building? "That's correct, ma'am"
source: 971zht.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
News: alligator found wandering around Pittsburgh. Fark: second time this month
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these flag holders
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Columbine school district considering demolishing High School after too many crazies have turned it into a shrine
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Job prospects not too good? Are you lazy and attractive? Sugar daddies now looking for you
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is Colossal)
 
 
 
I swear I thought Melon Cam would be something very different
source: thisiscolossal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Robot baristas are now the latest front in automated technology. Not because they make coffee any better but for once customers will be able to get their names spelled correctly
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cracks found in oldest Scottish nuclear facility. "In the very worst case the hot graphite core could become exposed to air and ignite leading to radioactive contamination of...the metropolitan areas of Glasgow and Edinburgh." RUN LADDIE
source: edinburghlive.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
And so the world's tallest castle made of sand will fall into the sea eventually
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Somebody pressed the AZ-5 button?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Want to know about the recent UFO sightings? The Onion has you covered
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWCH Wichita)
 
 
 
If something is known as the "Disneyland of agricultural tourism", naturally it's a horror show behind the scenes
source: kwch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
I know we've already forgotten about the Virginia Beach mass shooting, but listen to this man who came face-to-face with the gunman THREE times, and realize you'll never be as lucky as he was
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Jupiter is now so close to Earth, you can see its four largest moons with binoculars
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
U.S. Navy investigating the head of the military's War College for improper conduct. What kinds of degrees does War College offer anyway? Bachelor of Arts of Blowing things up Real Good? MBA in Horde Management?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Microsoft: "Facial recognition technology should be regulated. The 100,000 person database we were tracking using facial recognition, that included celebrities, journalists and activists? Uhm. We deleted it. Guy who worked on it? No longer with us"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Motorists banned from stopping and gawking at bears. An unconcerned Darwin smiles wryly
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Hunter responds to backlash of trophy photo she posted online after shooting a rare black giraffe by pointing out that she got some snazzy new throw pillows and a gun case out of the giraffe who she also described as "delicious"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this Sonic shill
source: img2.nickiswift.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Russia to make their own version of HBO "Chernobyl" miniseries, exposing the CIA as the ones responsible for the explosion. Can't wait for them to remake the final season of "Game of Thrones"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCCI Des Moines)
 
 
 
Everybody arm yourselves, the zombie apocalypse has begun and it is starting with the animals.... Hang on a second. Oops, never mind. I missed the comma
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Well, I guess this is one form of premature ejaculation
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Three Mile Island alert sirens to remain active during decommission, just in case
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
California man burned 640 square miles trying to get rid of some wasps. Unclear if he succeeded
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I've seen this movie before
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Firefighters rescue month-old stray kitten from engine block of car. Kitten promptly runs and hides in the fire truck's engine for 36 hours
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Football-field sized asteroid may hit the earth. Gillette Stadium would be a good target
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
So, that's what mind-blowing sex is
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
Today's mad libs headline: Woman convicted of murdering her lover after they were expelled from a YouTube Christian fundamentalist reptilian orgone energy cult
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A security guard was stabbed at a Scottish whisky plant. Ron Swanson said to be unconsolable, having shed a tear
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Florida man entrepreneur works to perfect a wine-cellar-in-the pants gizmo
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Guy awaiting trial sets up a tryst with a "14-year-old girl" while wearing an ankle monitor. Awaiting trial for what? Click. Go ahead, find out
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Soyuz spacecraft
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Florida garbage truck BLOWS THE EFF UP on turnpike as Florida drivers record the whole thing on video
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Utah man deliberately runs into 11-year-old girl on scooter, then declares we all have to die sometime. Probably the fact he was on Xanax, marijuana, LSD and psychedelic mushrooms has nothing to do with it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Police departments around the country are building a surveillance net using Amazon Ring doorbell cameras
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cornell University)
 
 
 
Cow farts, they said
source: news.cornell.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Detroit is exporting _______ to Puerto Rico. A) Motown Records B) Charter Schools C) Coney Dogs D) Tadpoles
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Fark Math Word Problem: If a man steals a total of $3,700 worth of beer 57 times and he usually stole two to four cases of beer at a time, but sometimes up to seven, what's the average price for one can of his ill-gotten beer?
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
He seems nice
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press & Sun Bulletin)
 
 
 
This story coming out of Kirkwood, NY seems to have just about everything: A naked man, the state police, a chicken coop, a missing chicken and a trail of feathers. So go ahead, take your one guess, where is our perp from?
source: pressconnects.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Horses laughter continues at Santa Anita...wait, no, that's not quite right
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Naval Institute)
 
 
 
The Navy's newest aircraft carrier cannot carry the Navy's newest aircraft
source: news.usni.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bishop)
 
 
 
This is the body of Christ, at least for some of you
source: lifesitenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Observer)
 
 
 
So let's take a moment to check on how Texas' experiment to replace Planned Parenthood with faith-based crisis pregnancy centers is going
source: texasobserver.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 06, 2019
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Florida Man who already won two U.S. Supreme Court cases against a city is arrested by that city while trying to speak in a public comment period in a public meeting. That's a bold strategy, Cotton
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Ah yes, carjacking. The best way to keep a low profile when someone is following you
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sure you rural rubes are asking yourselves: How does one get into the rooftop infinity pool in London with 360-degree views?
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Strange prehistoric creature washed up in British Columbia is definitely a Cadborosaurus and not a skate. Honest (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
♪ You unload thirteen tons, and whaddya get? Melting walls and spiders on your head ♪
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
News: Police Chief apologizes for police brutality, calling the actions "wrong" and "oppressive." Fark: For violence that happened 50 years ago in the Stonewall riot, but baby steps people
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
How not to spend your wedding night, presented to you by the Florida panhandle
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cosmopolitan)
 
 
 
PSA Ladies: Please do NOT try to vacuum your period out or you'll end up in the ER
source: cosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
"NY woman's billboard gets Tyler Perry's attention in all the wrong ways"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"YouTube clarifies its harassment policy by flailing around like a big, dumb noodle"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Rubber)
 
 
 
Photoshop these dark wheels
source: ep1.pinkbike.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Record News)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Couple's fight over Big Red cola gets man hit in the head with metal pipe"
source: timesrecordnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
If you're going to mail drug-impregnated paper to a prison inmate, (1) don't talk about it on a recorded line, (2) send something fun like LSD instead of synthetic marijuana
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
*uckerberg
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
911 is for emergencies. Please deal with a lack of tacos or stolen sandwiches the proper way, by whining on social media
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Dwight Eisenhower wrote a letter accepting blame for D-Day's failure, just in case things went wrong
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Door to door salesman leaves free gift for resident (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Man claims he was just washing his fence when he sprayed water on neighbor's children and into their windows. The racial slurs he was shouting were apparently also intended for the fence
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
Boobies
 
"Alright guys, form a line, no pushing. I'm sure there's enough for everyone." Crop tops and tube tops for men
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Futurism)
 
 
 
Alan Turing FINALLY gets his obituary in the New York Times
source: futurism.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this apple of your eye
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Want a free backyard roller coaster? You're just an application away
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Claiming Lee Harvey Oswald is innocent in involvement in the Kennedy assassination will not help you beat a murder rap
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Step 1: Install a fingerprint scanning machine to cut down on rampant agency overtime abuse. Step 2: Authorize overtime for investigators to find out who sabotaged the machine. Step 3: ???? Step 4: Graft ... er.... profit
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
African Union suspends Sudan, threatens double secret probation
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Dude is a Pizza God but not for the reason you think
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Japanese Labour minister claims high heels 'necessary,' further reinforcing subby's decision to wear stilettos while on the clock as a longshoreman
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Saudis and Russians set to grill each other over oil, raising the hackles of chefs everywhere who suggest mesquite, or at least good lump charcoal
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Handcuffed man escapes deputies and runs past every single surveillance camera in Bentonville, AR before finally being recaptured - off camera
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Today's tractor-trailer load spilled all over the highway: Watermelon
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Car burglar's Only in Utah strategy amuses neighbors
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Another story of D-Day: The 16-year-old soldier and the rest of Scots 4 Commando saved by 'mad bagpiper' Bill Millin
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are the Mighty)
 
 
 
The three most realistic Hollywood firefights ever filmed. Apparently, Val Kilmer's scene in "Heat" is so realistic, it's being used to train U.S. Marines how to retreat under fire to this day
source: wearethemighty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Jenny McCarthy is batting 1,000 in the Measles league this year
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Company isolates 'young woman aroma' and turns it into a popular deodorant. Yes ... only in Japan
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Caption this classic couple
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Mayor caught on camera killing raccoon with shovel. To be fair, that's how you file for re-election in Alabama
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
China voices 'concerns' after Taiwan seeks to buy M1 Abrams tanks from the US, claiming that's just pay-to-win, not to even mention the gold rounds and all the mods the Taiwanese are sure to be using
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Indiana company sells unscented candle named 'Ohio' with description "Not much to see. Not much to do." Cleveland unsure if that's a complement
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bothell-Kenmore Reporter)
 
 
 
Bothell police suspect the newly emerged 'Chevy Gang' is not serious, pointing to the iron grip the Toyota Prius Gang has on the area
source: bothell-reporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Parents outraged after autistic student is given the "Most Annoying" award by his school. Which still wasn't as bad as the kid who was given the trophy for being the "Best Non-Asian Math Student"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nautil.us)
 
 
 
Why do some Naw Yawkers drop their 'R's?
source: nautil.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"If you can imagine what it would have been like for the German defender, seeing this crawling up the beach. They would have no idea what was going on"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Kars4Kids (1-877 KARS 4 KIDS) is gearing up for a summer marketing blitz (that's 1-877 KARS 4 KIDS), but did you know that the primary goal of Kars4Kids (1-877 KARS 4 KIDS) is to get secular Jews to be more religious?
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Peace is breaking out all over the Middle East, if by 'peace' you mean 'ballistic missiles'
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
It's not right, but I understand. Also, you have to admit that it was a pretty cool looking move he used
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
Video
 
That macaque knew EXACTLY what it was doing
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
If Hitler had been a fan of crossword puzzles, we might all be speaking German today
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The German nurse who killed 85 patients gets life in prison. If the sentence fit the crime, they'd stick him in a waiting room
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Great moments in PR: Drug company edition
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
The first rule of Junior Fight Club is...don't get caught?
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Boomers becoming the elderly creating real problems in cities regarding feeding them, finding enough grass for them to yell at young people to stay off
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Worst wife EVER sets rules for bachelor party husband is invited to, including no drinking and a midnight curfew. BOOOOOoooooooo
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop Joe Biden
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
FBI on lookout for female 'Sweatpant Bandit' bank robber, which is also the nickname of subby's ex
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
Favorite men's beer in each state is a dumb survey, but wtf is going on in Idaho?
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Long before Star Trek, James Scotty Doohan killed two Nazi snipers and was known as the "craziest pilot in the Canadian air force." He gave it all he could, Captain
source: allthatsinteresting.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
News: Ladybug bloom shows up on weather radar. Fark: 150 square miles of ladybugs. UltraFark: Flying above 5000'
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
It takes a lot of balls to hide more than 200 fentanyl pills under your genitals
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Guess what you've been doing wrong your whole life
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Are we not doing Rocketeer news anymore? Is that not a thing?
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Operation Overtime: Riverside County Sheriff's Office executes 90 search warrants using over 600 officers and several helicopters to effect the largest weed bust reported in California since weed was legalized in the state
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
Criminal mastermind opens a storefront to cover for the gambling operation in back. The store supposedly sold, wait for it, movies on VHS. With video goodness of the police raid
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Opioid manufacturer INSYS settles with the federal government for false information and kickbacks for $225 Million. The are seen in the boardroom checking couch cushions for the payment and may need to raid the petty cash drawer
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
They *finally* cleared out that Subaru
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Once again, the thought of walking into your home and finding a strange woman using your shower is always much sexier in the movies than in real life
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Bend an ear, and listen to the first radio report at 2:30am on D-Day - 75 years ago
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa Public Radio)
 
 
 
Specially trained dogs love rare turtles, deserve steak
source: iowapublicradio.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsTimes)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you're making breakfast, and an airplane crashes through the roof? To be fair, you'd have never heard it coming, anyway
source: newstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Want to see the Germans' reaction to D-Day in real time? Bletchley Park will be tweeting out 182 decrypted Kriegsmarine Enigma messages from June 6, 1944 all day at their time of intercept. First one at 23:58 GMT (that's 7:58pm EDT)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 735: "Doors 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 05, 2019
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
I'm just a Tibetan symbol enthusiast, heritage not hate
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Glamour Magazine)
 
 
 
Finally, you can sit on your saddle, look out across the landscape, take in the Western range and feel no guilt about wearing blue jeans
source: glamour.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Tall erection to be given fitting name
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Russia
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a road-rage attack. This driver needs to remember the five D's
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Pro tip: when dealing heroin, try not to have 750 bags of it on your lap while sitting in your car
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WIVB)
 
 
 
A visit with deer, deer, deer, dear grandmother
source: wivb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Her name was Lola, she was a cafe, but that was thirty days ago before the hookah and blow
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
"Therapist" doing "therapy session" at 10:45 at night robbed by "clients"
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tired worker
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Deputy wounded in shootout as neighbors argue over cats, who no doubt watched the whole thing while snickering silently
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
NYC changes two way road to one way with no warning. What could possibly go wrong?
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Iron Man will save the world. For real this time (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
PSA: Don't leave a backpack with $20k cash in it sitting on your front porch
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
U.S. Forest Service warns that up to 1 BILLION acres are at risk for "catastrophic" wildfires. Better get raking, people
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
How do you get hit in the head by a boat in a parking lot? Oh wait, Florida
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityNews Toronto)
 
 
 
Jewish soldiers, 75 years after D-Day "what the hell have you done with the tomorrows we gave you?" Bonus: Article written by the handler of the retiring guide dog Reva
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(Live Science)
 
 
 
In an unanticipated consequence that could rank among the discovery of penicillin and the invention of microwave ovens as beneficial for humanity, "disaster tourists" are now flocking to Chernobyl in the wake of HBO's hit show
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Runner's World)
 
 
 
America's first streaker was a college student who would go on to become a doctor and, later, a congressman. The history of streaking
source: runnersworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PoPville)
 
 
 
DC man refuses to let serial rapist escape after hearing cries for help, chases him for 10 minutes while hopping fences and dodging bricks. "I'm not a hero. I'm a neighbor"
source: popville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
I scream, you scream, 46 ice cream truck owners scream after their trucks are seized for not paying $4.5M in traffic fines
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
We regret to inform you that Milkshake Duck is a transphobe
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Fortune Cookie: You will soon be another cautionary tale
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Onychophora
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Won't be greenlit, submitting anyhow
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Florida Man facing first-degree murder charges mistakenly released from jail, as jail and court officials begin playing the Musical Chairs of Blame game
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Florida man arrested after attempting to cleanse Walmart of evil spirits by pouring salt on the floor, instead of just drinking all the Jagermeister like a normal person
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Wait, those emails were real??
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
It's cool to see a set of twins graduate high school, but here we have fifteen sets of twins
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Weird, boney structure found on Outer Banks. Ruled out as being Tara Reid
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Baltimore's mayor suggests boxing bouts to settle street arguments
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Central Jersey)
 
 
 
Police actively seeking man who live streamed doughnut theft, taking the last maple bar
source: mycentraljersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Paratrooper Tom Rice jumped into Normandy on June 6, 1944. Yesterday, at age 97, he did it again
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
HOA refuses to do anything about vulture infestation plaguing homeowners, possibly out of professional courtesy
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KEYC Mankato)
 
 
 
Left lane camping? Fine
source: keyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Buried lede: "Toby Maguire requested she bark like a seal for a $1,000 tip"
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Radical new alternative medicine involves...uh...tapping people on the head with salami (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Man gets kicked out of strip club, fires gun at club employees, wrecks his car, then calls 911 while lying in grass at the edge of parking lot. The Aristocrats
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The National Interest)
 
 
 
Russia: Look at our new hypersonic missile; U.S. Army: Hold my beer
source: nationalinterest.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
They take parking seriously in Des Moines
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
'Abused and shot dog gets second chance at life as taco-eating internet sensation'
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
♪ What do you do with a drunken captain, what do you do with a drunken captain, what do you to with a drunken captain, early in the boat cruise. ♪
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Who hasn't wanted to lock their crying children in a room and go to a bar?
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Camera Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this cameraman
source: labguysworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Glengarry Glen Ross PD: "FU, That's my name"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
D-Day was a total secret. Except that one time a guy mailed the secret plans to Chicago by accident (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
If you've been attacking Ebola first responders in Congo, authorities would like to know if you could stop, please? I mean, come on
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Gonorrhea cases in England are up 26% since 2017. ** slow clap **
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
New York State legalizes West Side Story cosplay
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Russia 'successfully tests' hypersonic interceptor missile that can shoot down western weapons and travels 2½ miles in one second. No word if they'll be installed on coal power aircraft carriers
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
"Punky Brewster" could be the latest sitcom hoping for a comeback
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Axe Body Spray confirms they will not be involved with the Straight Pride Parade
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Trash fishing in the Detroit River. The ghost of Jimmy Hoffa perks up with interest
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
New York will become the first state to ban cat declawing. Dogs lobbyists vow to do something about "testicle robbery"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Company gets tender to replace Rainbow Bridge. So I'll get to see my childhood dog again? Yay
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Mannequin torso dumped in the Connecticut River recently. Suspect described as female who dances like a full body dry heave set to music
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Civil Rights Movement)
 
 
 
Catholic priest heard the criticism of his modest request that the bare-shouldered harlots who attend his church stop whoring around, prayed about it and decided to go on an anti-LGBTQ rant. Next week, he'll be private jet shopping
source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
"It is an industry standard that one never stacks a body"
source: amp.azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
Boobies
 
Pennsylvania woman claims Golden Corral kicked her out for dressing 'too provocatively'... aaaaand you should have paid more attention to the 4th and 5th words before you clicked
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely train car
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Reva the 11-year-old black labrador, who has been dubbed "the world's best broadcast dog", is hanging up her harness after almost a decade of duty by reporter Michelle McQuigge's side. Welcome to this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Never forget what happened 75 years ago tomorrow on the shores of Normandy
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Classic movies, restaurant woes, and celebrities eating fruit: It's the Fark Weird News Quiz, May 19-25 Tractor Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Almost 40 years ago, the U.S. suffered a major radioactive leak. No, not that one, this one was significantly worse. Since it happened on the Navajo Nation, though, it was grossly ignored and almost immediately forgotten
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Hotel worker to a customer who called him a racial slur: "There's a Best Western down the street." Looks like he really did stay at a Holiday Inn Express
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Women's Health)
 
 
 
Professor explains Elizabeth Holmes' success: old men's penises
source: womenshealthmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Young people: Hello, we would prefer not to live in a "Mad Max" world, please. Justice Department: "There is no fundamental constitutional right to a 'stable climate system'"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsChannel 5 Nashville)
 
 
 
Prosecutor doesn't believe in gay marriage or the Supreme Court, and that's why he won't prosecute domestic violence if the couple is gay
source: newschannel5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Pfizer discovered that one of its drugs could reduce the risk of Alzheimer's by over 60 percent, but that drug's patent was about to run out so they didn't announce their findings to the scientific community. Because, you know, profits
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KBZK Bozeman)
 
 
 
Motorists: "Dang, this traffic jam has shut down the entire interstate. Nothing could make this worse." Bagpiper: "Hold my tam o' shanter"
source: kbzk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
Hiking in 100-degree heat, falling and getting injured, airlifted and being spun like a propeller, vomiting on yourself. That's a wrap for the day
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Sometimes, being too good at your job means you don't have a job. But, at least you're still a goat
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
High school teens on Alabama river float trip experience Deliverance reenactment
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 04, 2019
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
What happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas but your flight has to make it there first: "Drunken stag party thugs jailed for 'eight hours of hell' on flight to Las Vegas" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Things you should NOT feed a small mountain lion you "found". C) bratwurst. No mention if it was with all the fixings
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Five more LAPD officers test positive for Typhoid Fever, but that's okay since everyone should already know to avoid cops like the plague
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHYY)
 
 
 
Good: Philadelphia spends millions on street sweepers. Bad: they're too big to be used on the streets
source: whyy.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
♫ My Ebola's back and you're gonna be in trouble, Hey-la-day-la my ebola's back ♫
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Not News: Eight-year-old finds surprise from Mom in her school bag. Fark: Mom's 9mm handgun
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Rage Against the McChicken
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Okay class. Today's lesson is why you shouldn't attempt to swallow a bag of cocaine
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
An apparent tiff about an unflushed toilet overflowed into a dispute involving a swinging plunger and it only gets punnier from there
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Richmond.com)
 
 
 
Thirty-five years ago the biggest death row escape occurred - miraculously no one was harmed in the escape, by the escapees, or in the recapture
source: richmond.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
New York woman who went to Florida for rehab found dead after her rehab center closed down. She was killed during "an altercation" in transfer to a new facility. Well, that's a pretty harsh program but I guess it does get people off the drugs
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Young James died at only seven months, having been born premature at under three pounds and requiring much of his life in intensive care and multiple surgeries. Three years later, his family is still receiving bills and getting harassed by collection agencies
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(USA Today)
 
 
 
The planet's atmospheric carbon dioxide levels, already at the highest they've been in millions of years, blew through another record last month. This is not a repeat from April, March, February
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(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Hells Angels Motorcycle Club Euro Run 2019 expected 700 bikers take part in ride from the village of Pease Pottage to the coastal city of Brighton, South England, to mark the club's 50th anniversary. Care to guess why it didn't go as planned?
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(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
What to do if you see a cougar in the wild: shout, make yourself look as big as possible, and whatever you do, don't let it buy you a drink
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(Some Host)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lovely lady
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Well I'll ask him but I don't think he'll be very keen. He's already got one, you see
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
How to get supercharged by tasers: wave around two huge knives while going through Gatwick Airport security
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Kampground Karen in the Klink
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man arrested for covering his sleeping girlfriend in ketchup. Some couples consider that foreplay
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Protip: When serving frozen yogurt, make sure not to serve the "display model"
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
Children raised with dogs have lower blood pressure. Children raised with cats have toxoplasmosis
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
It's not too late to strip down and join the World Naked Bike Ride this coming Saturday in London (NSFW)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXXI Rochester)
 
 
 
Judge Stone resigns after complaining he can't be a hanging judge. Man, Night Court has gotten dark
source: wxxinews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYRK Buffalo)
 
 
 
Texas governor signs law allowing delivery of beer, wine, and strippers. Well, two out of three ain't bad
source: wyrk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Well, it's ONE way to get kids eating fruit (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Life is ruff)
 
 
 
I stole the Jaguar because my pick-up died and I needed to get to work
source: kjzz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Four killed in gun rampage in northern Australia. We can be grateful that it's at least a lower body count than if the gunman had been armed with a fully automatic roo or drop bear
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(CNN)
 
 
 
"Instead of a graduation bash, this high school senior threw a pizza party for the homeless"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this salute
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Retired high-level bureaucrat explains that concern over last week's deadly Kawasaki knife attack prompted him to murder his violent good-for-nothing son before he could commit similar crime against children
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(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Seattle man Dwight Benson faces 17th DUI charge, as defense lawyers paint him as a traumatized man dealing with PTSD from three tours of Vietnam, not to mention seven seasons dealing with the Governor and Head Cook Klaus
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(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Selling bogus maps to Arkham?
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Don't worry counselor, the deputy here will assist you with that"
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(How Stuff Works)
 
 
 
Alpacas do not have beaks for eating honey
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(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Man shot dead after opening fire at border crossing between the US and Mexico, in the latest example of an unhinged, murderous criminal attempting to illegally exit the United States
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(VinePair)
 
 
 
As it turns out, associating Ireland with beer isn't entirely unfounded. Associating it with dentistry still awaiting evidence
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(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Guess everything ISN'T coming up Milhouse
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
For those of you who feel the need to shine your straightness, there is a "Straight Pride Parade" scheduled to happen in Boston later this summer
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(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
31 cats found in motel room. Your dogs wants a room at the Hilton
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Boss: "Are you looking at porn?" Employee: "Um, no, I'm looking at the the homepage for the Bronx Overall Economic Development Corporation." Boss: "Looks like porn to me"
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(My Central Jersey)
 
Weeners
 
So he was sucking the Devil right out of them?
source: mycentraljersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(City Pages)
 
 
 
Today in the least surprising thing you'll read all day: they're vaping booze in Wisconsin now
source: citypages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delish.com)
 
 
 
New Game of Thrones themed cruise will take you a on a 7-day adventure that starts off with luxurious wonderment and delight and then presumably ends with the ship letting you off in a leaky dinghy a half day's paddle from shore
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(WSAV Savanna)
 
 
 
When at first you don't succeed, try again, and again, and again
source: wsav.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Temperatures in India hit 50º. Big deal; that's about what it's been in the Midwest as well
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(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Concealed carry holder shoots man attempting to help person locked out of home
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(Reuters)
 
 
 
D-Day. In the words of a correspondent who was there
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(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Being armed at a karaoke bar means no one sings out of order
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
If you want your kids to live long, chose original recipe rather than extra-CRISPR
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(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Human-giraffe hybrid gets caught during his Porky's reenactment. He really stuck his neck out on this one
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Researchers find deadly, unknown virus, strong enough to quickly kill otherwise healthy young people despite treatment. And by "researchers," we mean "tourists in Fiji"
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(WIBC Indianapolis)
 
 
 
"Hoorah"
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(The Moscow Times)
 
 
 
I love the way his mustache rubs against my proletariat thighs
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(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Some BFF's get matching friendship rings, others get matching tattoos. Then there's THIS couple. (may not be SFW)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
Boobies
 
Well, I'm sure that's someone's fetish, anyway
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Meet the professor who put Brock Turner's face in a textbook definition of rape
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(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man dies after crashing into window at The Window Place. Paramedics suggest he might have survived if he'd simply veered into The Pillow Place next door instead
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(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Most restaurant owners would fire a cook who can't make it to work on time, but this one just decided to buy his cook a car. Bonus: owner's name is Taco
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(CBS News)
 
 
 
Don't you hate when someone crashes your romantic picnic date and eats all the guacamole?
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(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Caption what this swan is saying to the camera
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Ladies, please cover your shoulders while in church. Just pretend you're church leadership and your shoulders are sex scandals
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Televangelist Kenneth Copeland defends his use of a private jet for travel by telling reporters "it's a Biblical thing". And he's right, look through the Bible, you can't find ONE mention of Jesus ever flying commercial
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(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Baby tapeworm, doo doo doo doo doo doo
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(Reuters)
 
 
 
Dissident Chinese cartoonist shows his face on the 30th anniversary of Tiananmen Square. How do you say "hefty clanky brass balls" in Mandarin?
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(MSN)
 
 
 
Abandon all Hope
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Museum of London says it wants Baby Trump balloon as a permanent exhibit
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(Rochester First)
 
 
 
Spooooooooonnnn
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(LA Times)
 
 
 
Coffee is now the only substance on the planet that will not give you cancer in California
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Rules to woman's new drinking game involve stabbing the loser. So, guess I'll be sticking to beer pong
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Donald Trump's presidential limo is bulletproof, fireproof, gas-proof - but is it CAT proof? No (possible nsfw content on page)
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(Radio.com)
 
 
 
New York to vote to make it more difficult for your cat to kill you
source: wben.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
Video
 
Cop warns couple lying down in gravel lot not to move when he spots rattlesnake next to them. In other news who in their right mind lies down in a gravel lot... oh wait
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(Sky.com)
 
 
 
It's snowing in Australia, which will only strengthen the animals' resolve to kill you
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(YouTube)
 
 
 
People in Victorian-era England were falling down stairs and dying all the time
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(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Man uses hammer to smash through a wall and then strips naked which is not how you are supposed to do the Kool-Aid Man entrance
source: