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| Sun May 19, 2019 |
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Hoardy shiat. Even A&E would run in the other direction
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Vandals wreck years' worth of model train exhibit work, community steps up a donates thousands to get everything back on track
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Photoshop this rusting statue
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Historians, archaeologists, and confused Pokemon fans outraged over proposed Machu Picchu airport that would destroy historical artifacts
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Nothin' like a good ol' demolition to bring a town together
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Study finds that children raised in religious households share less with their friends and are more punitive in their actions towards others than children raised without religion
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Europe convinces Switzerland to tighten gun restrictions. With photo of what a European holding a gun might look like
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"Ghost bike" sculpture erected at D.C. intersection to honor memory of cyclist killed there in a car crash ... is damaged in a car crash
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Photoshop these antlers
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Billionaire Robert F. Smith gave the commencement address at Morehouse College and announced he will pay off the student loan debt for the entire 2019 graduating class
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Real-life Full Metal Jacket
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U.S. government to U.S. airlines: Hey, you might want to avoid flying around Iran for the time being. Why? Oh, no reason ... just sayin'
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Pics from the 2019 World Beard Championship. Your argument is invalid
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How I spent my 1 million dollar lottery winnings. Being Florida, you can kind of guess how it ends
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Well, subby was thinking of a personal chef or maid, but a walk-in pantry would be nice, I guess
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On the seventh day of Christmas, my true police sting gave to me: 52 druggies, three thousand bags of heroin, two cars, two handguns, a rifle and $15,000 cash
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Photoshop these angel wings
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CSB Sunday Morning: Black Sheep of the Family - are you the outcast, or have someone in your family that doesn't quite fit in? How did that come to be?
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After three combat tours, Ronald Sanchez Jr. was attacked and killed by a knife-wielding assailant in the violent, nearly lawless wasteland that is known as the ... Appalachian Trail?
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The EEOC white knights black strippers. Chessmate, racists
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Fark ready headline...Hypothermic man rescued from Siskiyou Mountains cliff after woman spots skid marks
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How to stay safe on your bike and piss off drivers even more
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A bunch of bikers hear about a group of migrants crowding a local shelter near the southern border, so they immediately rally and head to the scene...to help deliver food to them
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American pastor backed by a British clairvoyant runs a network that gives 50,000 Ugandans a "miracle cure" made from industrial bleach
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Do you remember Mt. St. Helens erupting? Pepperidge Farms remembers
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That's some mighty fine police work, Arkansas
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Cop faces charges for killing an unarmed shoplifter. And of course his fellow officers insist he did nothing wrong
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| Sat May 18, 2019 |
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Although Planet Fitness is a judgment free zone, I don't think that extends to car theft
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Toronto police collect 2,700 firearms through gun buyback program. Why did they sell them in the first place?
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HOA is being all HOA-ish about American flag
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Photoshop this icy transport
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Pet sitter performs heroically, stars in Airbnb movie, loses Wag job, pretends to be real estate agent, and ruins new couch. TaDa
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Step 1: See your Kamloops RCMP "Most Wanted" photo on social media, Step 2: Message back "News flash morons: I'm in Edmonton and I'm not coming back", Step 3: Get arrested by Edmonton police and sent back to Kamloops, Step 4: ????
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This is a wall Admiral. Your call
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What happens when you combine Florida and Walmart? Here's one of the many, many possibilities
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Not learning a lesson from Becky, three people overdose on the marijaunas
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I'LL BE (drop-kicked in the) BACK
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Idiot places fox traps in a public park frequented by dogs. Your dog wants a full investigation
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Photoshop this Vegas motel
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The school that fired the lunch lady for giving free food to a student suddenly has a change of heart, says it's willing to hire her back. The now former lunch lady pronounced the idea half baked
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Subby hates to beat a dead horse, but look's like the Elmer's factory got another resupply from Santa Anita
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That's a mighty fine diploma in nanotechnology you worked super hard to earn. It would be a shame if it were rescinded because you didn't perjure yourself testifying against your ex boyfriend. You know, the ex-president who started the college
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Inmate declares himself a disciple of Bachus to receive wine with every meal. Long live religious freedom
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Great news, New York commuters - Penn Station is still a roach-infested underground hovel where your hopes and dreams go to die, but there'll be a sweet new escalator or something to help you get there. Only $570 million
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Alabama isn't completely useless - they still have one Pearl Harbor survivor and he's 99
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You know those movies where the small car drives under the tractor trailer truck to get away from the bad guys? Well, the reality is this
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Man arrested after suspicious fire on Evergreen Terrace. Neighbors reported as okily-dokily-doo
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Fight at Chuck E. Cheese's that injured 5-year-old began over 'timed basketball game'
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Five tiny kittens survive being trapped in a 60-foot steel column being transported nearly 500 miles. Please welcome Crowbar, Rebar, Chisel, Jackhammer and Piper to Caturday
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Newly released inmate steals unlocked and running car from police station. Unfortunately, the hooker and ten grand in cash wasn't included. Texas is funny, aren't they?
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Put the text of our laws online? Yep, you're a terrorist
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Another May. Another high school. Another yearbook quote controversy
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60% of female managers feel uncomfortable working with men...Wait. Scratch that. Reverse it
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Yet another country falls into China's debt trap
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| (Some Guy) |
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There's hope for America after all. Priest decides that sex is more important than religion
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You should be wary of dangerous emails from the likes of Russian bots, Nigerian princes, or the US Navy
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If you're going to hire a hitman to kill someone, you should know that all hitmen are cops. You should especially know this if you're a cop trying to hire a hitman
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| Fri May 17, 2019 |
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For the price of a house in San Francisco, you can buy a private island in Ohio
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Not the article Fark asked for but the article Fark needs
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New app distracts distracted drivers from distraction while driving. Seriously, there's an app for that?
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Your underwear already does this by turning brown in the presence of gas
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App to alert police and school employees about active shooting incidents in real time is the most American thing you'll hear about all day
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As superhero origin stories go, 'I liked dogs so I became a horse-lady' is probably one of the best (possible nsfw content on page)
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If a bartender yells "Last Call" and doesn't see you, does it really count?
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O-H-I-Ewwww
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Photoshop this spiral observation deck
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Mystery behind tiger found in vacant Houston home solved. Owner would have gotten away with it if not for those meddling kids breaking in to smoke pot
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| (Andy Farmer) |
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A second historic covered bridge has been hit. No reports of terrorism yet, but suspicion is high
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The media is continuing its new tradition of trying to name mundane occurrences to make them seem special. This time be on the look out for the "Blue Flower Moon" this Saturday
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Man finds 7-foot snake slithering into his dryer vent, decides to bounce out of the way
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Speeding driver miraculously avoids costly accident. Tag is for the bus driver who saved the kid from becoming chunky salsa
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Five more states join the fight against Purdue and the Sacklers
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98-year-old WWII veteran takes airplane ride back in time. Last seen with briefcase carrying six shiny stones
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Let's check in with the Cree Nation, to see what they think of "mayochup"...oh, dear
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Family feud: burial at sea edition (possible nsfw content on page)
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Civil war reenactment telling 'greatest national drama' 155 years later: "It very much is a family type event," plus - the South proudly wins this one
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Photoshop this $91 million rabbit
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| (A sure bet) |
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Cyanide sherbet is even worse than Baskin-Robbins' Daiquiri Ice
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Florida man busted at Milwaukee airport for possessing Adderall without a prescription. Police say he was fully alert and paid strict attention to every word during his arrest
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I'll see your casual airplane dodge, raise you an ultra casual train dodge
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Austrians warned to stop kissing cows, "with or without tongues"; advised to put shrimps on the barbie instead
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School break-in by armed intruder 'raises concern' among parents, because at this point we need a body count in the twenties to even register mild alarm
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Crack Investigators on the scene as Florida Man is shot in the buttocks
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Triangle woman inspires others to get mental health help; Triangle Man hates Particle Man
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Florida woman posts picture of a gun to Facebook, threatens to "shoot everyone" at the nearest elementary school. Hilarity ensues. Bonus technicolor mugshot
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Octopuses may go blind due to climate change, which they are unable to fight on their own, despite being heavily armed
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That was not a very good airplane
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If you ever got the feeling Tony Robbins was actually a giant bastard with a side of creepy, you were even more right than you realized
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If you happen to notice an unusual number of Imperial Stormtroopers in Orlando this weekend, just tell them you don't have the droids they're looking for and they'll let you go
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Grumpy Cat - a life in pictures
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Edward Cleaver's worrisome ill thoughts ("kisse myne arse") may stem from the witchery of a neighbor who suckled a puppy
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Don't you just hate it when an Angel comes down to earth, and damages your car by landing on the interstate during rush hour?
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"In a cruel twist of fate," the girlfriend of the man accused of killing a woman walking dogs once worked as a dog groomer for the victim. These days, fate's bark has become worse than its bite
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People seem to be awfully concerned about something they only spend six minutes a year doing
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Caption this full service gas station
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Grocery store robber tells cops they won't like him when he's angry
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Taiwan becomes the first fabulous nation in Asia
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Whenever I'm trying to solve a murder in Clue, I always guess it was the mother's boyfriend
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Drug ring dismantled in Operation 'Smooth Criminal.' Operation 'Beat It' making inroads into assault cases, while Operation 'Thriller' reports no success at zombie eradication
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Iran says only Russia and China are their real friends, possibly because for some reason everyone else gets mad at them when they chant 'Death to you'
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Police in Canadian town using cutouts of officers to catch speeders. Residents say they're the most polite officers, evar
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A closer look at the techniques Cookie Monster used to learn how to delay his self-destructive impulse for constant immediate gratification. Subby suspects it has a lot to do with the guy whose hand is up his ass
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Before you rush to judgement about the impending war in Iran, just remember, without our military we wouldn't have silly putty
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Remember the cop that pulled a gun on a black guy picking up trash in his own yard? Ever wonder what happened to him?
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Couple celebrates start of British summertime by having sex in front of 100 strangers in London's Finsbury park. 'I couldn't finish my lunch' said one shocked onlooker
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Woody Harrelson catches beer thief. Next: Bruce Dern catches survivalist bomb maker
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Three arrested after Jack-in-the-Box adds Bacon Ultimate Crackburger to the menu
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Queer robots are a thing now and Calvin Klein wants you to watch Bella Hadid share lesbian kiss with Lil Miquela
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Ain't no party like a teachers' lounge party
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Gucci: blackface sweaters? No? How about religious headwear as a fashion item? Public: (facepalm)
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Photoshop this good float
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Limerick man goes too far. To four inches he lowers his car. He caused such a ruckus. When speed bumps hurt his tookus. From Village Hall they gave him a ban
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Joel Osteen followers warned not to be taken in by fake Joel Osteen scam as it takes money away from the real Joel Osteen scam
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Not good.jpg
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No infrastructure week for you California
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FCC Commissioner: who doesn't love robocalls? Robocall is not a bad word
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Suitcase full of marijuana stolen before rapper was shot and killed at Pizza Hut. Fellow rappers set to release tribute album entitled Suitcase Full of Marijuana
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Just another historic covered bridge in New England smashed by a delivery truck. Hey Mac, do you know the way to Red Bud??
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| (Gone to pot) |
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Article on dangers of marijuana sounds as if it were written by someone with an @aol.com email address
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Semi truck carrying strawberries catches fire on I-5, creates nasty jam
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Always wanted to be a Florida man? Florida fish and game is hiring gator trappers
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This sunken barge might as well become a landmark if it's not gonna be moved anytime soon
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Architect I.M. Pei draws last breath
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| Thu May 16, 2019 |
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Worried about the Boeing 737 Max? Well, I guess you probably don't want to hear about a $600 radio can be used to cause an airliner to crash on landing
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"So if by some strange turn of events anyone knows these guys, here's their photo"
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Half of Americans admit using swimming pool instead of shower, even though other half use it instead of a toilet/urinal
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Easily terrified scientists deeply concerned about potency of modern weed probably should search for substance to ease their concern
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Yes, you can have a pony. And a $30 million budget boost
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F-16 flies into building in Riverside County, California. Story developing
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The Coast Guard finally plugs a leaking oil well at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico that has been spewing for 1.4 years. Oh, sorry, make that 14 years
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Prehistoric 37-million-year-old dinosaur slows traffic on I-95. If you guessed Florida, you win
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Bedbugs have been around since the age of dinosaurs which really sucked for T-Rex and his stubby little arms
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| (NYC Guys) |
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Photoshop this old-time New York City street scene
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Yu-Pack delivery driver arrested in Kyoto after going He-Gone for week with customers' parcels
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Welcome to the Home for Wayward Babydolls, a resting place for discarded toys (w/ lots of pics)
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Little league player, who hadn't seen his marine father in almost a year, charges the mound after a pitching change. Damn allergies
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Young person discovers that studying flashcards can help one remember things
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Residents frustrated over chicken euthanizations, as officials struggle to combat a disease so virulent that chickens can die without showing signs of infection. Other than dying, that is
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In the "things I will never do to prove that I didn't cheat on you department", the remains of King Canute's wife show that she walked over hot metal to prove her fidelity to him
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Rhode Island cop pulls over self-driving vehicle on its first day, and it wasn't even black. Well, it was part black
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Is this for the business, food, or sports tab? "Coconut water brand Vita Coco offers to send MMA fighter a jar of pee"
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Florida Man attempts to trademark Florida Man before Florida Man beats him to it. Florida, man
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The Lakota Thunderbird destroys another white settlement. Queen Daenerys nods in approval
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Turns out that you cannot have it your way at Burger King, because rudeness is a butt-kicking
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| (Some Road) |
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Photoshop this high maximum road
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Argument over loud music leads to a shooting and arrest according to police. Victim states he was not shot and the police are wrong. Police stand on their misinformation. If only there were a way to tell if the victim was in fact shot. If only
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Police investigating after naked burglar is caught on camera, possibly to find out exactly how he was planning on carrying away loot
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The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry, especially when the police just kind of shrug and let everyone go
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"I bought a bunch of gas station boner pills and only made it through one." Scary barely edges out Dumbass tag
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Stolen truck driven past deputy investigating stolen truck
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Flaunting your white privilege and imitating a monkey in a restaurant? That's a punching from a black woman
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Bereohshiat
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Just holding a beer makes women appear less human, study finds. Also when they unhinge their jaws to swallow live rodents
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Massachusetts couple wins their third $1 Million scratch-off lottery in 5 years. Just shows what a good high-quality desktop printer can do
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College Board to add "adversity score" to SATs. Can't wait for the inevitable reboot of the classic film Soul Man
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Macaque gives free oral exams. Is there anything macaque cannot do? (w/ lots of adorable pics)
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Parent caught on video apparently trying to trip player at 10-year-old and under basketball tournament
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Philippines president Duterte wants to declare war on Canada, perhaps not understanding the dangers posed by a nation capable of producing both Nickelback and Justin Beiber
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Tow truck driver gets free car wash
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Man arrested for selling ice cream outside school. Explanation: Texas
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Pregnant man denied healthcare because... pregnant man?
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Neckbeards outraged that show about dragons, ice zombies, shadow demons, and face-swappers isn't realistic enough and want a do-over (no spoilers)
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Caption this rescued cat
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New study uses Duck Hunt to help stroke victims, as shooting that snickering dog can make anyone feel better
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Mike King, a businessman from Decatur, Illinois, would like you to know he saw Jesus when he died. And if you thinking, "But he didn't die. He's telling us about the experience. He's alive," well... you have more common sense than Mike King
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Britain claims the top ranking in drinking and cocaine use in a recent poll, with the US finishing second. Wisconsin and Florida vow to try harder
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The Fark mascot finally got a day job. Drew inconsolable
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Monkey takes bank worker hostage after climbing on his head and snarling at onlookers. And then the humping began (possible nsfw content on page)
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South Dakota's Governor signs into law bill requiring all public schools to display "In God We Trust" signs beginning next year. Students immediately find a loophole
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Jesus Christ. Get in the car. Wait...reverse that. Get in the car. Its Jesus Christ (possible nsfw content on page)
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Frisbee's just another word for flying plastic disc, and it don't mean nuthin', nuthin' if it ain't freed from a nurse shark
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Study: fast walkers live longer than slower walkers. Duh, because death can't catch them
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How can this timeline get any worse? 'Harvard magazine apologizes for sexualizing Anne Frank'
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High school principal, vice principal, and senior advisor all suspended because of a high school prank gone wrong."There was a lot of toilet paper, a lot of Vaseline on the handles of doors. There were chickens"
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Not news: Divorced guy's daughter accepts her new mom. News: She's made of plastic. Fark: There's 12 of her (possible nsfw content on page)
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Photoshop Theme: Design a pair of book ends for the Fark Library
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A woman who has been in an Alabama jail for 17 months is eight months pregnant, and has no memory of having sex behind bars. Jail says she was on seizure meds, family says she never had seizures before going to jail
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So it turns out the viral photo of teachers holding a noose was in response to a man who murdered and tortured a former student getting the death penalty. Reason #60754 to wait for the whole story before you get outraged by viral posts
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Lloose llamas in Llas Vegas will llikely llead to llitigation
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Dick decks ducks
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Your dog wants to catch his own steak
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Notre Dame had always wanted a pool
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"Generally reliable," but occasionally explosive
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GA Governor vetoes a bill that would require at least 30 minutes of recess in elementary schools. The governor explained his veto: "We prefer our kids fat and stressed out"
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Father of Treasury Secretary Mnuchin purchased a stainless steel sculpture of a rabbit for $91,000,000. Meanwhile, your state raised your gas taxes and that bridge you drive over every day is still crumbling
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There can be only one guilty verdict
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This may come as a shock to many of you, but those who are in bad paying jobs, up past their eyeballs in debt and witnessing the planet turn into an Easy-Bake Oven aren't having a lot of kids
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 732: "Favorite Things". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed May 15, 2019 |
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A Tennessee "school for excellence" did not see that coming
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Catholic Archdiocese to ban youth sports on Sundays so kids can stay up late on Saturdays making the baby Jesus cry
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Procession of 600 Jeeps honors Kendrick Castillo
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Medieval Crossbow Murder-Suicide Sex Cult would make a great metal band, also makes a shiatty thing to find if you're a hotel maid
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New York City may go without fur soon. No, not that kind
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In the "people are ignorant, and bigoted, and ignorant bigots" file: 56% of those surveyed said "No" to "Should schools in America teach Arabic Numerals as part of their curriculum?"
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Orting Transmission" doubles as Measles Transmission. So if you wanted a good case of Orting to go along with your spots, you're in luck
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Future Supreme Court Justice learns that what happens at Georgetown University stays at Georgetown University
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"Dude, why's your new tat changing colors?" "What color?" "Gang-green"
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Step on a crack, break your mother's back; let a daycare aide find your father's crack in your pocket, break you mother's heart
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Most casual airplane dodge you'll see today
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Not news: Chinese man arrested for insulting the police Fark: By naming his dogs after them
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"I'll catch that bird for ye, but it isn't gonna be pleasant," says photographer who captures a near-perfect replica of 1975 poster
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Go ahead, I dare you to photoshop this battery ad
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Look your Honor, I know I've been accused in a murder-for-hire plot with my husband, but would it be okay if I took a European cruise with my boyfriend?
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Diner evacuated as Miller Lite truck channels the spirit of Kool-aid man
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Ayesha Curry regrets her boob job. That makes one of us
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Florida cop accidentally shoots woman in grocery check-out line. Internal affairs say it may be justified if she was taking too long with coupons
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This simulation shows red dots when too many people refuse to do anything about preventing red dots
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Teen "hides" racial slur in promposal. Old lady at computer adjusts glasses, wonders why G-I-N-G-E-R is so offensive
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Jim Bakker spoke to god and god told him about a coin believers should hold while praying for the president. Of course these coins are now for sale on his website for the low, low price of $45 USD
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41,000 pounds of honey falls off tractor trailer in Indiana. Sweet
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Protip: If you're creating DIY glory holes, you probably shouldn't locate them in Target dressing rooms
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Florida Woman, 29, busted for striking hospital worker with "used" feminine napkin
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New owner of Paradise Inn plans to pave it and put up a parking lot. Bonus: She also intends to kick out the basement ghost so it's not stuck under the pavement
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They s-s-s-s-s-s-see me rollin'. They hatin'
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Airbnb user is shocked to discover his £100-a-night 'cottage' in Amsterdam is a shipping container with a portable toilet inside
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So how do you say 'Florida Man' in Russian?
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Photoshop theme: Lego sets that don't exist, but should
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Poppy seed bagel causes woman in labor to test positive for drugs, lose her job at J Peterman
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Sure, the planes have already killed more than 300 people, but that's a risk I am willing to take to save $50
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The town of Erwin, Tennessee would like you to stop thinking about it as the town that hanged an elephant. In other news, the town of Erwin, Tennessee hanged an elephant
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Aircraft makes an emergency landing in the Hudson River. This is not a repeat from 2009
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Tennessee governor will not intervene in Don Johnson's execution. Tubbs inconsolable
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Guess the story based on these three clues: Trump Bumper Sticker / Walmart Parking Lot / Nazis
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Fat Californians are invading Washington State coasts, breaking docks by sheer weight and . . . barking at people?
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So it's Wednesday, just have to make it to the weekend. Now imagine there was no weekend. In the Soviet Union, that was the case for 11 years
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You're paying with a check smeared with poop? I'm going to need to speak with your lawyer about this. Oh. You are a lawyer
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Who throws a coconut, honestly?
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Model with a 59-inch bum begs doctors for help after illegal fillers injected at "plumping parties" left her with a discolored and lumpy bottom (NSFWish)
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Dallas diocese searched for diddlers
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Florida: the state where a missing cat can escalate into death threats by a mayor
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The Oregon City underwear bandit may be the next villain Austin Powers faces
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Video of trashed NYC subway car goes viral as "something indescribable." Apparently it smelled so bad, gropers put their hands over their own noses
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If you're the person responsible for illegally importing Brazilian bird-eating tarantulas into Florida, the police would like you to stop
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Caption these women on pogo sticks
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If Epstein suddenly dies today, give all his stuff to Jorge. Signed, Epstein's Mom
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Driver pleads insanity for crash which killed pizza delivery person, apparently not realizing 'crazy bread' is just a menu item
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No injuries reported as window washers are trapped in a swinging basket at the top of skyscraper, either from falling, being smashed into the building, or having their sphincters pucker tight enough to make diamonds
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Want to get 820,000 people to quickly vote? Just ask them if they wash their legs in the shower. And the results will surprise you
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Because nothing throws a wrench into your upcoming wedding more than discovering your fiancé's son, 16, got your 15-year-old daughter pregnant - and you now wonder if the wedding should be canceled
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Drunk man throws up a tumor, gets scared, swallows it back. The Aristocrats
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Is that a spoon?
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Clashes erupt on "Nakba Day." And you read that wrong, so put your pants back on
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Monet, Monet, Monet
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Protip: Before putting your antique car on display at a baseball game, make sure to remove all firearms
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| (Some Official) |
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Photoshop this boat inspection
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Dog trains himself to play piano so he has accompaniment when he sings. My dog trained himself to beg whenever I have food. :-) Either way all dogs win because it is Woofday Wetnoseday Wednesday
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Police issue warning about 'zombie raccoons' Talking tree won't give up friend under questioning
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Billboard worker falls off personal injury law firm billboard. At least he'll know who to call
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Can I have a Big Mac, fries, a Coke and a new passport, please?
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Great white shark weighing more than a ton heading for the Outer Banks. You know how you can tell, Chief? By measuring from the dorsal to the tail. Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies
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Aliens drew three giant penises which can only be seen from space...or it's a prank. The investigation is still ongoing
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Keeping your head down at work is usually really good advice. This isn't one of those videos. (No injuries)
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Scottish engineer has novel idea to refreeze the Arctic, and it's not "OK, everyone open your freezer doors on the count of 3" (possible nsfw content on page)
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Remember the giant sky penis some Navy dudes drew a couple years back? Here's the story
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Next time you swap seats with a prospective buyer while you're in your rare Ferrari, take the keys out first
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LAX Security fails to live up to its name
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Your Florida beach property? Yeah, about that
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Electric rental scooters chalk up their first hit-and-run fatality
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Elderly lady takes drive-thru banking to a new level
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Tory Minister responsible for affordable housing roasted for having four ovens in his kitchen. When grilled, his half-baked spokesperson denied it was four ovens, merely "two, normal double ovens"
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In total heel turn, pro wrestler slams and pins supermarket shopper to the ground for stealing parking space. BOOOOOOOOO
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Traffic light malfunctions, everyone goes, and everyone crashes
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Ohio school closes after cake found. Cake? Who cares? *reads article* Oh
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School district receives ballistic shields in effort to advance safety. In related story, teachers still buy their own school supplies
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Man arrested for striking sleeping girlfriend with his cheeseburger
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Spider-Man apparently catches thieves just like flies AND fastens his safety belt by inserting the tab into the metal buckle
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The commencement speech of the year comes from the editor of the Orange Street News
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For those who can't get enough denim, now there are Jeados
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Fark NotNewsletter: Who got butthurt over what a Fark headline said about him, plus learn about how to get a greenlight from Drew
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Wisconsin: We're number 1, now grab me another beer
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Photoshop this puzzle box
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Tiny bloodsucking parasites discovered in UK maternity ward. Not just babies, bed bugs too
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One of the six most festive ambulance trips to the hospital you will read about today
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Florida man apparently really REALLY likes Halloween. Did I mention REALLY liking Halloween?
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We've lost another Navajo Code Talker. Godspeed sir
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Texas police officers decide to use lethal force to defend themselves against black woman who was coming straight at them armed and loaded with a fetus
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Radioactive carbon from Cold War nuclear tests has been found deep in the ocean, which could mean that new Godzilla movie will be a documentary
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Georgia professor found dead near hot tub of man who kills himself, another man is arrested. Sheriff: "It's one of the strangest cases that we've ever worked"
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Farmer has two options: 1) Die, probably, or 2) Cut off his own leg with a dang pocket knife
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Milwaukee residents show up in record numbers for free outdoor fitness classes
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Man, "covered head to toe in sewage," rescued from septic tank after failing to save his dog. You read that in Morgan Freeman's voice
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Criminal mastermind tries to use the highway carpool lane with a dressed skeleton as his passenger. Arresting officer to be rewarded with Scooby Snacks
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Photoshop this proud seawoman and stout yeomen
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In the least surprising news of the day, Virginia man, who is being called a serial killer by police, confesses to the murder of two women and a teenage girl, but claims it was "an accident." Also works as a carny
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Large inflatable chicken named 'Princess Layer' taken from store. No word if it crossed the road looking for Obi-Wan
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A new study says work experience is a poor predictor of future job performance, except in your case. Congrats on being the exception that proves the rule
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Florida man trips on construction debris and unfortunately this becomes newsworthy
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Exxon Scientists: In 37 years, CO2 will be at 415 ppm and temperatures will rise about 1 degree Celsius. We were Farked: From paper in 1982
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Ron Jeremy's rear takes some pounding
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Because the world really needed it, there is a new Guinness world land speed record for a tuk tuk
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| (Mr. Mysogynistic) |
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Ten actions that used to be acceptable in the workplace that are no longer acceptable. Subby submitted this while drinking a highball, slapping my secretary on the ass and calling her "Toots"
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70-year-old man put dead wife in passenger seat, drove across Arizona. Police charged him with "abandonment or concealment of a body, even though the body was neither concealed or abandoned"
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As if British food wasn't gross enough, artisanal cheese-makers are producing cheeses made from bacteria harvested from the bodies of British celebrities
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Haunting D-Day photos capturing moment Nazi soldiers surrendered to U.S. troops (Hero tag is for the troops)
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How much does a Tim Conway? About 21 grams less now. RIP truly funny man
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American soldier who jumped on grenade to save fellow soldiers dies - 74 years later. RIP, Sir
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Sad: baby abandoned at airport. Good: baby adopted. Sad: police destroyed case files, making his search for birth parents harder. Good: he tracks down his birth parents. Sad: his biological mother died. Fark: biological dad had no idea he existed
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| (Some Guy) |
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Caption these kids with a robot
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For some strange reason, more and more people are trying to get their face tattoos removed as they get older. No word on how will everybody else know how unique and edgy they are
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Nine hundred pound Virginia man's court case delayed after he's admitted to hospital for "unspecified medical issue." Subby's gonna go out on a limb and guess it has something to do with him weighing 900 pounds
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Bad: You forget to set your parking brake and your car rolls into another vehicle. Worse: It hits a jet. Worst: Chancellor Merkel's jet
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Ahead of the funeral of journalist, Sergei Dorenko, Russian TV channel speaks to renowned opera singer, Elena Obraztsova. Difficulty: She's been dead since 2015
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Weiner's out
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Over 15% of workers are stoned on the job, but some industries are "higher": Hotel, food, and hospitality: 35%. Construction: 32%. Legal: 19%
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We ask some very wealthy preachers about being very wealthy. Let's watch the hilarity ensue
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Suspects wanted for Dollar General robberies across Mississippi hope to score enough gas money to get out of Mississippi
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Aussie rules football is the same as regular football, except sometimes the ball is a baby (possible nsfw content on page)
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Know how we know your GenX think piece was edited by Millennials, NYT?
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Fraternity to new pledge: "Who's a good boy? drink, drink, drink, DRINK Good boy, now lick your nuts Hahaha" University officials: (loser trombone music)
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Not News: A South African student becomes a Twitter legend after convincing local KFC franchises he was there for "quality assurance" and ate for free. Fark: For a full year
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Cops are busy, so let's have neighbors issue parking tickets to each other
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Photoshop this Hallelujah at Haleakala
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Mayor of Sandwich quits after trying to be the filling in a hooker sandwich
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Parents sue Tiger Woods and his girlfriend after staff at the golfer's Florida restaurant plied their alcoholic bartender son, 24, with drinks for hours before he drove home, crashed, and died. Requests for a mulligan were denied
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Claim to love Jesus and get a lighter sentence for daughter rape. From the Book of Pedos section of The Bible
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'Not gonna lie, I'm drunk:' Green Bay mom accused of OWI after crashing SUV with kids inside
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Some say that if CEO Jonathan Cornelissen worked as hard on DataCamp as he does at covering up the fact that he drunkenly groped an employee, he might not be such a creepy loser
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Take aspirin daily for your heart health? Study shows you risk bleeding inside your skull
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Left alone with 6 other kids in a hot car, toddler says "aw hell no, I am not gonna be a statistic, bro" and calls 911
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You, too, can charter the former yacht of Aristotle and Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis for a paltry $100,000 a day
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Are you a 60 year old Farker with a Tom Selleck mustache? Because the police are looking for you for hitting and flipping off a bicyclist
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Police Captain Larry Miller, acting Police Chief of Pevely, Missouri, needs to be made permanent Police Chief. He did the right thing
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Koalas functionally extinct in Australia. Dodos unavailable for comment
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Five dead, one missing after two planes get up close and personal with their sight seeing
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Seems like more people involved in the quarrel than first thought
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Uphill. Both ways
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Your nuts are on fire :/
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New study, whose results no one will have a problem with, finds people riding bikes break far fewer laws than drivers do
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Dayton, Ohio oppresses KKK, will only allow them to hold a rally if they wear masks, not hoods, and will only permit them to arm themselves with pistols
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Florida man arrested at Candyland Park. Told police that he thought playing nekkid basketball would improve his skills. He thought wrong
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Robert Kraft to get off for getting off
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