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These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
Sun May 12, 2019
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 8th graders created a 3D printed prosthetic leg for her
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
You're asked if you could refill an insulated cup with Disney princesses on it. Do you fill it with scalding water that severely burns a small child when she tries to drink it?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Oh look, we have a convenient pretext for attacking Iran now
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Writer thinks mothers hate crazy hat day at school more than anything else right now. Moms everywhere - that's not even on the short list
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy blow-drying one of his balls
source: static.standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
This guy gets bragging rights for best Mother's Day gift
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Distributing child porn? Let's just say authorities are unlikely to buy the old West Nile virus excuse
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
After fining a homeowner $500/day for tall grass, the city decides that they are going to foreclose on it. Fark: Homeowner was out of state taking care of his mom's estate. UltraFark: The guy who was mowing the grass died of a heart attack
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Making a joke about vodak can get you kicked off a plane now, apparently
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
A nonprofit promised to teach West Virginians how to write computer code. It seems the organization might have been a fraud according to Billyjack Buzzard
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Anti-vax trolls are posting fake negative reviews of pro-immunization doctors to try and discredit them online
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy good boy
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Maybe they can invent a pill to help ease the pain of being shunned by NY society, make tiny violins more audible
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
As a rural Oklahoma hospital runs past $1 million in debt, X-ray and computers shut off for non-payment, the staff and one doctor keep treating patients without paychecks for weeks. Fark: 100 other rural hospitals have closed this past decade
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
German hotel guests found killed by crossbow. Police suspect some kind of quarrel
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
How the Monster who invented Mother's Day came to hate her own creation
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
This takes spreading the gay agenda to a whole new level
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
How do you get a pacemaker at age 33? This is how you get a pacemaker at age 33
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What was Leonardo Da Vinci doing when he was your age?
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
On one hand, there's the First Amendment. On the other hand, there's possession of "stolen property" that makes the government look bad. Gee...wonder which hand is closing into a fist of tyranny?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this charm bracelet to appeal to Farkettes
source: brighton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gardener)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Late Spring and gardens are either well in play or being finalized. What's your story of digging in the dirt with hopes and dreams of harvesting nature's bounties? Green and Brown thumbs welcome
source: vegetable-gardening-online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Remember when generic drugs were the much cheaper alternative to name-brand pharmaceuticals? Pepperidge Farm remembers
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, 28 Scientologists remain quarantined on a cruise ship after a crew member came down with measles. Quick, someone light the Cruisesignal
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Philip Morris isn't advertising vaping devices to the under-25 crowd, they just have a 21-year-old Russian social media influencer helping them market heated tobacco to... wait, I'll come in again
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Brewery is offering a paid intern position that requires drinking on the job. Difficulty: It's Natural Light
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
American Airlines pilot arrested for triple homicide. Judging from his mugshot, he is disappoint
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 11, 2019
(NYPost)
 
 
 
FDNY to 35-year-old ex-Navy SEAL who wants to join their department and finished in the top 1% in testing: Sorry, too old
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fowk still scrieve in Scots, an e'en mair speik it in their daily lives. Ye tay can learn tae spick scots, th' leid fur th' perpetually blooter'd amang us
source: scotslanguage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
Soon: participation diplomas for people who can't graduate
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Stuff happens
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop Fark's one true love
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Carousel will begin in 2029
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Marijuana peddlers, once viewed as dangerous drug dealers in Chicago, are now viewed as acceptable tenants thanks to legal THC
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
If you believe in the Sixth Amendment, you're not welcome around Harvard
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Four California school employees find just enough rope to hang themselves
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Dentists warn against brushing your teeth with charcoal. Difficulty: British dentists
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dry area
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
The Old Joliet Prison is offering tours to the public. For $20 you can visit Jake Blues' old cell, and listen to tales from local historians and former prison guards. No word if a wicked pepper steak is served on Thursdays
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Meal)
 
 
 
The worst dating etiquette mistakes you can make. Because some errors are more than just small blunders
source: thedailymeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Woman is really upset about the renewal of a sitcom focusing on the experiences of an Asian-American family, posts about it on Twitter. Guess why it gets the awkward tag
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
If you're going to try a fake injury scam, it's probably best to check no one is filming first...so you don't end up like this guy
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
How can an ordinary rental car be worth almost a million dollars? When police find $947,000 in cash hidden in the fuel tank
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
Intercollegiate meat judging is like no sport you've ever seen
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Downtown Miami shut down as SWAT team evicts hotel guest who stayed past checkout time
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You know you've sunk to a new low when you find yourself giving senior citizens free ice cream in order to perform genetic testing on them
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this seahorse
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Cuba launches "widespread rationing" in face of crisis. What could possibly go wrong?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Herald-Record)
 
 
 
"I think they deserve to live out their senior years together in a real home with people willing to accept not-so-perfect cats." Welcome to Caturday
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
North Dakota legalized marijuana a week or so ago, but everyone was so chill it only showed up on the news today (Edit: subby was too high to spell "decriminalized")
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sad and Useless)
 
 
 
Woman adopts cat that wants to debate tipping constantly
source: sadanduseless.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Teacher goes on sick leave after being diagnosed with breast cancer, but has to pay for her substitute, too
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Woman on Delta flight to New York panics and tries to open the emergency exit door mid-flight after realizing she's flying on Delta
source: 1010wins.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This turtlle pciture is in the url just showde in my yard. Can i keep him? Ohio law, in the middle of an ugly divocre so wqant to stay out of the courts
source: fakr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Asinine Adventures™ (c) 2019. You are inside a Walmart. You are dressed up as a manager. Employees are at various departments. What do you wish to do?_
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Having solved all the state's other problems, the governor of Arizona signs a bill legalizing nunchucks
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Upper courts uphold previous ruling rejecting class action against lotteries authority. Fark: Plaintiff claims she wouldn't have bought the tickets had she known the odds of winning were so slim
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Avoid robbing concealed-carry folks in a military town. Heck, just avoid robbing altogether; nobody likes it
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg Free Press)
 
 
 
Hatchet-wielding patient puts paramedics on edge. If only there was someone around with medical training in case a paramedic got hurt
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
German park in Berlin designates "pink zones" for drug deals. Not the red zone or the green zone, the pink zone to get zonkered
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 10, 2019
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Florida man driving Cadillac from sunroof tells troopers he'd rather go to jail than back home to his wife
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
America: Where you have to choose between feeding your family or taking your child to the ER because poison control says an overdose could lead to seizures
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
New Zealand's "Coffin Clubs" take the financial sting out of death. Meh, my Coffin of the Month Club membership was only $149.95
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Today's travel tip: pack light whenever you can, and only take as much marijuana with you as you need, since fifty pounds of it tends to raise eyebrows at the airport
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Well, where else would the mummified corpse of a Chupacabra end up but a Florida Woman's yard?
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Man all set to write country song
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Police: Sorry we shot your son in his car, now we just need $900 for the impound fees
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Sad Tag: Authorities discover mother's five children slept on dirty mattresses next to cat feces after girl showed up to school with a backpack infested with bugs. Why subby went with Florida Tag: The mother's room was clean
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUOW Seattle)
 
 
 
State skimps on court-ordered salmon money. Culverts: the salmon killer
source: kuow.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
Former "wish kid" organizes a bar crawl for Make-A-Wish
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
"There's a problem in the cockpit." "The cockpit, what is it?" "It's a little room where the pilot passes out for 40 minutes after not eating breakfast, and that's actually important right now"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Ugly Naked Guy breaks into teen's room, gets into rooftop standoff with cops, and just to be sure of getting on Fark, gets a USB cable involved (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this not-so itsy bitsy spider
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Nearly 300 Jersey City teachers receive layoff notices during Teacher Appreciation Week
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
If you're going to claim £46,000 in benefits as a single mum, it's probably best not to openly have your ex coming to & from to the house. And posting those family holiday pics to Facebook is probably a bad idea, too
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Study says the backseat of an Uber is 35,000 times germier than a toilet seat, and much harder to flush
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
BBC DJ would like to take back his Tweet showing the royal couple leaving the hospital with their baby as a chimpanzee, says it was supposed to be a "joke about royals vs circus animals in posh clothes" and not, ya know, racist or anything
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
French free hostages in Burkina Faso, in operation in which two soldiers die. Jeez, how hard is it to just put a sign up on the side of the road?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
F-35 aggressor squadron to be activated at Nellis Air Force Base, finally giving the stealth fighter the chance to fight back against all the jokes made about it. Assuming it can get off the runway, anyway
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Bums and Posers has no patience with a Colorado craft brewery, and is suing over their Guns 'N' Rosé ale, claiming people will confuse a disgustingly sweet beer with a washed-up band
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Karma takes the day off as woman who stiffed a waiter on a tip accidentally leaves behind a cashier's check worth $424,000, but the waiter returns it anyway
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCBD Lubbock)
 
 
 
Police seeking purse thief, public urination suspects. No experience necessary, apply at station
source: kcbd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Motion)
 
 
 
Idiot who shined laser into Tom Brady's eyes caught. Faces up to a year in jail and refused to apologize to Brady
source: dailymotion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Sexiest boxing match ever?
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Got a hot Tinder date coming up with a girl named Becky or Victoria? You gonna get carjacked
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Sometimes you need to turn away throw away Chinese pills that you import to us. Tainted drugs
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Today's entry in Stupid Things Internet Conspiracy Theorists Believe ... yeah, I don't think I can summarize this
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Turns out "just kidding" isn't a defense to repeatedly accusing someone of being a pedophile. Who knew?
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada's veteran's affairs posts a video asking to remember the sacrifices made by troops. Fark: Shows Nazis
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAV Savanna)
 
 
 
Owner of popular local taco shop high as balls. News at 11
source: wsav.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this science experiment with Mr. Wizard
source: thumbs-prod.si-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Mickey Mouse charges dropped against CBD-carrying grandma
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Elderly husband ends "disrespectful talk" from 47-year-old wife in Old West tradition
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Naples Daily News)
 
 
 
Now we have Florida Cat to join Florida Man
source: naplesnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Mail carrier leaves an extra package for her customer
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Creative Loafing Tampa)
 
 
 
Manatee gangbang stops traffic this morning in Tampa. But enough about your mom
source: cltampa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
The newest thing that can kill you...toothpaste
source: sarasotanewsradio.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Las Vegas woman arrested for murder after pushing 74-year-old man off public transportation, now being charged with throwing him under the bus
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spokesman Review)
 
 
 
Blah-blah-blah. Nikki flaps her gums, but you can skip to the very end of this piece for the REAL news
source: spokesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Man films giant bears fighting on his front lawn in New Jersey
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Grio)
 
 
 
Restroom for customers only?
source: thegrio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Global helium shortage may soon put Hindenburg option in play at weddings and birthday parties
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Only in New York would you leave a 4,000-pound safe just sitting on a busy corner because you can't find a parking space
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Seems legit
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Want to "glamp" on the top of the Watergate Hotel? You can, for $3,000/night. Or, it's free if you break in
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crain's New York)
 
 
 
Almost 18 years later, the number of private-sector jobs in Lower Manhattan have finally surpassed number of people employed on September 10, 2001
source: crainsnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Texans baffled and terrified by torrential rainstorm that's flooding Houston at record levels, wish for a powerful wizard or sorcerer to craft a talisman to ward off all the evil spirits bringing this strange, unknowable weather into their lives
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cannibal Aztecs fattened up captive Spanish conquistadors with an all-you-can-eat Taco Bell diet
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
There are apparently zombie fish in Florida because OF COURSE THERE ARE
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
RI school district: Kids with overdue lunch balances get only sun butter and jelly sandwiches. Local restaurateur: Here's $4K to pay the overdue balances. School: Not enough. R: How about $13K? School: No because, reasons. Chobani CEO: $50K do it?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Whoah. There are lyrics to the new theme for NPR's MORNING EDITION
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Squarespace)
 
 
 
Caption this smorgasbord
source: static1.squarespace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Here's your mugshot goodness for Friday, courtesy of this DUI suspect
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
B-52s ordered by the White House to the Persian Gulf land in Qatar. This trip will not be full of huggin and a-kissin, dancing and a-lovin
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Good morning to all you farkerz... What kind of farkery does The Weekend hold for you? Drew, lets green this to the main page and I'll sponsor for one month 3 liters who have the best plans
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
What happens when half a ton of cocaine gets washed ashore on a remote island? 'One man was selling so much of the stuff from his car that his seats were white with powder, and he paid a friend 300g of cocaine just to charge his phone'
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
School bus driver pulls the "I'm not racist, my dog is black" card
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Oh no - what am I supposed to spend my Nigerian millions on now?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
"We were pumping water off of our property for a couple of hours into a flooded street." And then... "I would love to retract that,"
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Vietnam launches chopper rides in famous bay. Want to guess the sound track?
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Guy: Help me science twitter. Science twitter: Nope. NOPE NOPE NOPE
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this updated tub/shower combo
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
US Government bars citizenship to child of gay couple because of course they farking did
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Kindergarten student says measles and whooping cough are so boring, goes old school with Scarlet Fever
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline typo: Pentagon unsure of how many pubic websites it runs
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Magazine reporter decides to wear metallic duct tape bikini for the day to see what happens. Not surprisingly, she's a hit with male beachgoers (NSFW)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Gut doctors hate him because of this one weird trick for seniors in your area billion-dollar industry
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(World Economic Forum)
 
 
 
In most Western countries, only a minority of people pray every day. The US is the exception
source: weforum.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
NOT NEWS: Five months ago a parent warned Highlands Ranch about bullying, violence, and drug culture at the school which might lead to a shooting. NEWS: The school took action. FACEPALM NEWS: They sued the parent for defamation
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Nine-year-old boy shoots and kills his own mother. That's the tragedy
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Humanity is winning the war on child mortality
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Release the terminix guy. No, he's really bugging me and bogarting the roach
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Drone survey of Chernobyl after 33 years reveals stay the hell away
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Cathay Pacific really values your privacy when you fly first class
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The old adage says "A lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client." But in this case, it was the only thing that finally worked
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Well, maybe one regert
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
Portland, Oregon's plan to address homeless people pooping in the street is not a hit with neighbors. In fact they think it is just sh*tty
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLFY Eyewitness News)
 
 
 
"I can't believe it. One lousy little bee gets inside and you just freak out"
source: klfy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
Detective goes to the wrong place to follow up on a tip about a car that wasn't actually involved in a fatal hit-and-run, stumbles upon the right car in the process
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 09, 2019
(BBC)
 
 
 
Massive pot plant takes over office, no, not that sort
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Better call Ghostbusters to the Canal Street 1 Train platform in NYC, it has a bit of a blob prob
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Knock-offs of famous brand name products are by turns hilarious and terrifying
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In order for civilization to survive in the future, we will have to be subterranean. One with the mole people, if you will
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Beerspill. Not just a Fark website, but a crash on the I-5 in southern California
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
CNN chief denies reports they're planning to bring Matt Lauer to the network, so someone press the button and lock the door on that rumor
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Prosecutors say four good guys with guns who shot at another motorist were NOT triggered by hearing that f-ing awful "Gloria" song for the billionth time in a week, but something else instead
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
"Relatives of romance scam victim can't stop him from sending money"
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
WaPo editorialist joins tennis club, discovers that nobody in it seems to enjoy talking to him, invents entire belief structure to explain why it's not about them all hating his guts
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
If you're wondering where your backpack with two large rolls of sheet metal disappeared to, Glassboro police have both good and bad news for you
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Invader)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scourge of suburbia
source: images.wallpaperscraft.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Not sure which is weirder. That a 16 year old girl found naked in 56 year old man's apartment was wearing a court-ordered ankle bracelet, or that it could be cut off with scissors
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Want to see a video of a spider building a nest inside a man's ear? Sure you do. Sleep well tonight
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
A man faked his death. His ex-wife faked his funeral. Then their son found him alive. Subby fakes shaking her head
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Elderly disabled man asks teens to move out of his handicapped parking spot, gets knocked unconscious for his trouble. With security camera footage that will definitely appear in a courtroom
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Woman/crying clown drives to jail on suspended license with meth in her pants
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"Hey, do you want to proof-read the most eagerly-awaited announcement of the year?" "Nah, it'll be fine. What could go wrong?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
Your Fark reads-like-a-Mad-Lib headline of the day: "Airbnb will pivot to video with the release of its first-ever feature film, Gay Chorus Deep South"
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Italian (bewbs) volleyball (bewbs) team (bewbs) strip (bewbs) naked (bewbs) to celebrate crucial (bewbs) victory (beeeeeewwwwwwwbs) (NSFW)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Petrolicious)
 
 
 
The grandson of Dr. Ing. h.c. Ferdinand Porsche has unveiled an electric sports car that charges to 80% in under 5 minutes. Wie sagt man "Suck it, Elon" auf Deutsch?
source: petrolicious.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Reenacting scenes from National Lampoon's Vacation series might get you arrested
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Now THIS is how you conduct a police chase in the age of social media
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: What if the John Bolton mustache becomes a fad? (LGT potential source images)
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
One of the sticking points during negotiations at he US North Korea summit in Hanoi? Kim REALLY wanted to host an NBA All-Star game
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Semper Fi: Marine recruit helped subdue shooter at STEM School Highlands Ranch
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 17 Columbia)
 
 
 
Missouri middle school catching heat for promoting "Stoplight Day," where kids in a relationship wear red, those who aren't wear green, and those too stupid to understand the question wear yellow
source: abc17news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
Video
 
Giant cockroach crawls over Philippines' president during campaign speech
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Three Mile Island sets date for meltdown, er, shutdown
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida students hack school's email system, call for "Mandatory Penis Inspection"
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kingsport Times News)
 
 
 
Ah, Kingsport, Tennessee. Where spring is in the air, alcohol is on everyone's breath and marijuana, meth, syringes are in the cars. Come for the guns, stay for the naked people defecating by the sidewalk
source: timesnews.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
You can't yell fire in a theater, but you can eat ass on the back of a pickup
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Everyone JUST DISCOVERED that last year a North Korean ship was seized by the U.S. So, now that we've got that out of the way...
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Well, technically, he was driving
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
If you picked Anniston, AL as most dangerous military town one could be stationed at, come on down, pick up your Kevlar body armor
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
FBI to investigate 'public corruption' in Enumclaw, Washington, in case that surprisingly doesn't involve a horse somehow
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Breaking news: College seniors like to hook up (possible NSFW content on page)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Ah, I see. Previously, Catholic clergy were not even required to report abuse. It's all so simple now
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAOW Wausau)
 
 
 
Man leaves behind backpack in a library with meth and clear plastic nunchucks, then tells an elaborate backstory when he comes to claim it. The librarians were not impressed
source: waow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
BBC DJ sacked after tweeting a picture of a chimpanzee in a suit with the caption "Royal Baby leaves hospital". Facepalm & dumbass tags seen fighting over who gets this one
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Women commit strong-arm robbery, stealing over $3600 in perfume. And they would have gotten away with it, too, if they weren't the only car on the road with its license plate covered with pair of panties
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Turns out, people don't take kindly when father tries to pawn baby as a social media prank. "He put it on the counter, he was pretty serious about it. He spun the baby around, and said- can I pawn this?"
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Stolen car crashes into house when being chased by stolen police SUV. Florida tag covers all, even Ironic tag
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
World's most famous 'nullo' had genitals surgically removed, cooked and served to paying guests at public banquet
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Caption this library research
source: live.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Police arrest man believed to be driving under the influence, possibly because he was driving through a mall
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Good guy with a gun at Colorado school shooting may have fired at responding sheriff's deputy--and also shot a student. We clearly need more guns in schools
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Washington State AG reaches deal to stop Amazon from selling asbestos crayons to schoolkids. Bag o'glass, Junior Tracheotomy Kits, and Baby's First Landmines still presumably for sale
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Delta asks if you'd rather play video games than join a union
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Thailand tourists spot cloud formation that is like "scene straight out of Avengers". Thanos is apparently in the weather game now (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Today in 'it's NOT news': Irish drinkers are known to 'consume twice as much alcohol as the global average'
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Apparently the person in Australia charged with the responsibility to ensure their bank notes are printed correctly is not very responsible
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Drogon's body dug up in China. Viserion still missing, say reports (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Warnambool Standard)
 
 
 
Fire truck catches irony
source: standard.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Newly free Antonio Bascaro holds the record for the longest completed sentence for a non-violent marijuana crime -- 39 years for helping smuggle 600,000 pounds
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stanford University)
 
 
 
No snark here, just a great article from Stanford medicine about how your insurance company went from protecting your health to maximizing their profits. Awesome read
source: stanmed.stanford.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
"Who looks at a truck like that and seethes in rage? What's the matter with these people? What kind of glum, miserable, sanitized half-lives do they want to lead?"
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Looks like we need a new term to describe all those "once in a hundred year floods" that happen every year now. Anybody got any ideas?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Great White Shark
source: a57.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Rich couple buys property with restrictions on preserving old trees. Discover 600,000 reasons why rules do apply to the big people too
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
I got in one firefight and my mom got scared. She said you're moving your arsenal to Bel-Air
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Anti-vax doctor's records subpoenaed. Reasons for medical exemptions to vaccinations he issued included dontwanna, idiautism, and Jmccarthy Syndrome
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
University of Central Florida combines culinary training and med school. Just because you know how to remove someone's liver doesn't mean you know how to cook it with fava beans and a nice Chianti
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
This is normal
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
GA legislators to states passing "heartbeat" abortion bans: we'll see that and raise you "Women who miscarry can be interrogated" and "Going out of state for your abortion? We'll charge you with murder when you return"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
Wallingford, Connecticut town councilman (R) wants to bill parents of special needs kids for their education related services. This is the same guy who felt a special need to call said kids the R-word in a city council meeting last year
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Cop breaks car window with forearm, drags out passenger with hands up. Police chief: "We treated that suspect with the utmost respect." Let's roll the tape
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Denver decriminalizes magic mushrooms, and the elvish sky rains happy dancing toads upon the howling leather windmills feasting on the visions in your mind's eye, floating like a vermilion brick
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 731: "Happy Farktography Anniversary 14". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 08, 2019
(Patheos)
 
 
 
North Dakota man pleads guilty after he walks into a church, disrobes and jumps into the baptismal fountain, then rubs one out while walking down the aisle. The Aristocrats
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Green Acres is the place to be. Fat livin' is the life for me. Jeans spreadin' out so far and wide. Keep Manhattan, just give me that increased rate of preventable death
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
♫ Then the liver and onions started joinin' the fight and the chocolate pudding pushed me with all its might and the chop suey slapped me, and it kicked me in the head ♫
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 5 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Woman enters random home, washes dishes, recycles boyfriend's spinach can
source: news5cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Fark pissed off Ben Shapiro. He'll get over it
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Nat Geo Travel Photo contest finalists (not a slideshow); come for the high-fiving polar bears, stay for the ultimate Notre Dame on fire picture
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guitar
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Poke (UK))
 
 
 
Starbucks cups through the cinematic ages
source: thepoke.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
When it comes to picking pizza toppings, aardvark is first on the list (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
A 2000 Honda Accord owner proudly pulled over to take a picture of his odometer, which read 999999 at the time
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Did you dine at the ICON Gentlemen's Club between April 15 and April 23? No reason, just wondering
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Human Rights Watch reverse-engineered app used by Chinese state to spy on people in Xinjiang. Now that the software's out, expect some sort of this high-tech totalitarianism fever dream to be implemented in the company you work for in the near future
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Protip: when booking a holiday villa at an amazingly low price of £5000, make sure the company has genuine reviews on its website, that they don't use Western Union for payment, and that the General Manager knows how to spell 'Dear'
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fashionable eyewear
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Train your brain to eat less sugar. And no, it doesn't involve inserting a crayon
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live5 News Charleston)
 
 
 
Women buy box of Legos with $40K of meth inside, finish building set in 0.0575 nanoseconds - with their minds
source: live5news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Former WWE Star elected mayor because Florida
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Amanda Knox returning to Italy for a conference that is in no way a trap or clever ruse
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The nuclear power industry has a vision for the future, one where meltdowns are smaller, greener, and much more aesthetically pleasing
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
School district: "If you owe lunch money, you can only have a jelly sandwich until the debt is paid." Restaurant owner: "What if I pay off all students' lunch money debts?" School district: "ONLY jelly sandwiches"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Teen who refused to get chickenpox vaccine no longer needs it
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Man accused of throwing concrete blocks, large rocks at police vehicles for the third time, says he's beta testing Grand Theft Auto: Stone Age
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
No sex please, we're young British
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
According to chart, when it comes to per-capita consumption of pure alcohol in gallons per year, Karl Gelles has us all beat
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Car key fobs mysteriously stop working in small Ohio town. Rod Serling unavailable for comment
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
The 23 most ridiculous headlines about the royal baby, none of which is from Fark.com
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
Let's be honest, if inanimate objects were talking to you and you thought the sirens in your rearview mirror were "fake cops," you'd run too
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Mosque threatened with violence after presenting a program of children singing songs that threaten violence. Tag applies to everyone involved
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Citizens Voice)
 
 
 
Meghan and Harry name their son Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor. Prince Jughead reportedly thrilled
source: citizensvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this family dining out
source: images.fastcompany.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
There are several reasons most people don't try to eat live octopus and live stream the experience. This is definitely one of them
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Listen, and understand. That knotweed is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until it has taken over your yard
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDSU New Orleans)
 
 
 
Man arrested after fatally stabbing a duck. A what? A duck. Did it quack? Of course it quacked, ask the next submitter
source: wdsu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Get off my lawn? How about you get rid of your lawn
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Air Force uses their version of the F-35 in combat for the first time, and not by dropping loose parts on ISIS bunkers
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Minnesota college sophomore wants to learn "the deepest secrets of the universe", an admirable goal. Fark: He's ten years old
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
"I feel happier. I feel more me. I feel, I guess, freer in a sense"
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Conservative group challenges mindfulness in schools. "We prefer being mindless." says group spokesman
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Looks like Denver will vote down becoming the first city to allow things like magic mushrooms there. Mario inconsolable
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Officer recorded in viral verbal altercation with middle school students bravely backs out of promised public apology
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Newborn baby found on top of garbage can in alley. At least it wasn't in the garbage can. Or in 10 garbage cans
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this close call
source: scontent.fboi1-1.fna.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 32 Chicago)
 
 
 
Your mom likes National Dog Mom's Day. Start celebrating on Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: fox32chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Rare pink dolphin may have given birth to another pink dolphin
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Great grandmother who planned to poison millions at Disney World stopped by heroic Orange County deputy
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
78-year-old man arrested for not reporting death of his mother last June, leaving her corpse in bedroom to be discovered by his visiting son
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS8 San Diego)
 
 
 
...arrested for brandishing an AR-15 assault style bong
source: cbs8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Baltimore)
 
 
 
Baltimore computer system crippled by ransomware virus; residents not able to pay bills, parking tickets. Soon the city may go bankrupt due to them not being able to fleece the residents
source: baltimore.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
A unique way to handle a nasty tweet from a gamergater: Tell his mom (NSFW language in tweet)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Not news: woman arrested. Weird news: for "offending religious feelings." WTF news: by painting Jesus and Mary with rainbow halos
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Tanzania plans cable car to peak of Mount Kilimanjaro
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Your Fark reads-like-a-Mad-Lib headline of the day: "Utah teens in polygamous group travel to Colorado to marry their cousins"
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military Times)
 
 
 
B52s cover Beach Boys
source: militarytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "This is snek"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Tired of the city ignoring that big pothole keeping you up at night? Draw a penis on it
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
A 16-year-old girl calls her 17-year-old brother claiming an older man sexually assaulted her on a bus. Does big brother (A) Call the police, (B) Call his parents, or (C) Race to the scene and kill the guy
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(paNOW)
 
 
 
Bingo.... Bingo....BINNNGGGGOOOooo *sparks up a cigarette*
source: panow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
There won't be any "freeing the nipple" in Springfield, Missouri. Federal judges say city can ban women from going topless
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Look we all know what a nurse's uniform looks like. We've seen lots of them on the tubes
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Two year old doesn't want to go to day care, is left for dead. No, seriously
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Florida Man arrested for professing his love of eating donkeys proudly on his car
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 07, 2019
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
This is not hard, people. The quaint covered wooden bridge has room for vehicles shorter than 7 feet. There are signs. There are flashing lights. Yet again the Concord Road Covered Bridge in Smyrna has been struck. Apparently because it is Tuesday
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Enjoy." They keep using that word. I do not think it means what they think it means
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Officials in Arizona want to combat the public health crisis that is A.) Childhood obesity, B). Opioid addiction or C). Porn
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
French man floats across Atlantic in giant barrel, arrives in Caribbean, smells French
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
Not News: China has re-purposed American Tech it obtained surreptitiously and is using it for their own aims. Uh-oh: The NSA's hacking tools. Fark: that they likely obtained after NSA infected their systems with them
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(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: It's time!
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(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Apparently, when cars invade Brooklyn in some dystopian Pixar future, the buildings won't make great fortifications
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Photoshop this colourful accident
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Doug Pitt reenacts his brother's scene from Se7en. What's in the boooooox?
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lansing State Journal)
 
 
 
Michigan librarian awarded $90,000 after fraud claims against her were dismissed. Lawyer tells her to respond to media questions with just "Shhh"
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(MSN)
 
 
 
Fark Health Minister says smoke and drink all you want. Sorry, meant to say Norway Health Minister. But if Fark had a Health Minister, they would agree
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(Reuters)
 
NewsFlash
 
Michael Cohen helped Falwell Jr dispose of racy "personal" pictures
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Man splurges life savings on strip club dances after 'living it up like Pablo Escobar' during friend's Bachelor Party. 'Idiot fund' set up to help him recoup losses
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
How do you flood an 18-story building? Well, first you take copious amounts of meth
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
NewsFlash
 
Shots fired at Denver metro-area school. Update: One dead, eight injured, two suspects in custody
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"You are Newcastle"......."Err. No we're not"
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Oontz oontz oontz brrrr-brrr-brrrr, Oontz oontz oontz brrrr-brrr-brrrr,Oontz oontz oontz brrrr-brrr-brrrr
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(KTVO Kirksville)
 
 
 
"Officers with the Pella Police Department received 13 counterfeit bills, valued at more than $200" says reporter who doesn't understand the meaning of the word counterfeit
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(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: What's in your wallet?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Dive Dive Dive Wait...who left the back door open?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Neither Kentucky Derby winner will run in Preakness
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Bear spotted running down street in New York. No word if it was going to Ty's Bar for drag night
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(Patch)
 
 
 
And you thought getting shot at was the scariest thing that could happen to you in Baltimore
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Well, that's what happens when you don't bring enough lube
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Police arrest suspect in the killing of a police officer who was gunned down outside a Biloxi MS, police station. The victim was a 24-year vet who was planning to retire at the end of the year. Unknown if he felt he was getting to old for this shiat
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
How to win an argument, Alabama edition: set the house on fire
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Having solved all other public health issues in Kentucky, the dept of health has moved on to proposing legislation that will ban anyone from using tattoos to cover up their scars
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(Indy100)
 
 
 
Remember 'Taco Truck Tammy' who threatened to call ICE on Mexican food truck workers? Local residents hold party in her honor complete with mariachi band and tacos
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(KVOA Tucson)
 
 
 
Subby likes to tell the ladies he has a third leg, but unfortunately he's been upstaged by a bull with six legs
source: kvoa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
It's spring, so time for a refresher in backyard snaketry. Tag is for what to do when you see one
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
He just wanted to find his cat, dammit
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Flea invasion forces the shutdown of a Paris police station. Suspects already jumped bail
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
British soldier killed by an elephant in Malawi....while on an anti-poaching mission
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Turns out Sandra Bland recorded the cop that went on to arrest her prior to her "suicide," and it hugely undercuts his story that she was threatening him. Which I'm sure is a huge shock to all people everywhere
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(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Caption this family playing a board game
source: pixel.nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Where?)
 
 
 
According to Alamance County Sheriffs, a pair of Mebane residents were involved in kidnapping case involving a victim from Raleigh, an additional accomplice from Bunn, and a bridge in Granville County
source: mebaneenterprise.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Two reporters / Without a doubt / Spent a year in jail / But now are out... Burma Pardons
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(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
City of Milwaukee won't pay for damage caused by potholes they failed to fix because they don't have the money. This is the same Milwaukee that spent over $120M on a streetcar system, over $500M on a new arena, and will be hosting the DNC in 2020
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
I'm so very lonely. I know, I'll use witchcraft to find love by recording sexual videos of myself. Oh darn, that was just an extortion scheme. Now I'm more lonely than ever
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAist)
 
 
 
Your punishment for massive overtime fraud at your police station? Months-long paid leave for everybody
source: laist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Great, my cover is blown. So to speak
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Cabbie recognizes fare as rape suspect, immediately drives him to the police
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Fans with children are outraged ...OUTRAGED when cheerleaders "perform STRIPTEASE in front of their kids" at basketball match. More review will no doubt be needed to see if you will be properly outraged too (probably NSFW)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these hands
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Wisconsin man wanted for stealing 24 bottles of Hennessy from Costco, presumably one for each hour of the day
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(KRON 4)
 
 
 
Things are getting so bad in Oakland these days vigilantes are now going out at night and taking the law into their own hands
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel News Asia)
 
 
 
Boeing: "That 737 sliding off the end of the runway last week was a one-of-a-kind occurrence." Russian airline: "Hold my borscht and vodka"
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(Marine Corps Times)
 
 
 
What happens when two Marines blow off a major general, one by saluting without standing up or putting down his iPhone and the other blowing him off entirely? Let's ask the 2nd Marine Division
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Out of all the ex-President graves you could pick to vandalize, why would you target Gerald Ford's?
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(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Fifty-year-old time capsule reveals... sexier times
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(The Ledger)
 
 
 
Florida man with a suspended license since 1978 manages to ram a police car with a riding lawnmower. George Jones hoists a brew and snorts a line in salute
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Florida woman pulls an alligator out of her pants during a traffic stop. A number of small turtles were also involved
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Cross country cat accidentally goes to Florida
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ten teens injured by dropping acid at party in New York's East Village
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 06, 2019
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"The flux capacitor was not damaged in the collision. "
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Germany's health minister: "Sure, you can be an anti-vaxxer. That'll be €2500"
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
College choir's belongings burn up in fiery tour bus crash, leaving them with nothing except the clothes they were wearing. Old Navy: hold our chai tea
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(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Cancer has taken the Englishman who kept a shark on his roof. Long live the shark
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Alliance Review)
 
 
 
Bear unavailable for comment
source: the-review.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Android Police)
 
 
 
Now THIS is the f*cking Roomba we all want and deserve
source: androidpolice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for trying to sneak into CIA HQ and was looking for Agent Penis. He works for the Secret Service
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Lyft adopts the Dutch Rudder... reads again... hang on
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Next Web)
 
 
 
Add contractors to the list of people who Facebook allowed to view your private posts. Zuckerberg standard public apology expected sometime before Thursday
source: thenextweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop LinkSpace's reusable rocket RLV-T5
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
Who's a good boy? Apparently not a certain ex-Presidential advisor's dog
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) all the song titles begin with the letter "G". The DJ is still amazed at the sight of this strange yellow ball that appeared in the sky today
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Mad Libs: Iguana injured after being used as a weapon can't get surgery due to police
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(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
If you were on a flight this past Saturday from Vegas to Detroit, I have one word for you that may ruin your entire month: Measles
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(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
A drunk Florida man named Corey Feldman stole his buddy's Mercedes AMG from a gas station and crashed it into another car. No word yet whether Heather Graham was in the trunk
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(Salon)
 
 
 
Denver thinks they have the power to overrule the Federal government and independently decriminalize psilocybin mushrooms. What the hell have they been smoking? Oh. Yeah
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(US Department of Justice)
 
 
 
It's really embarrassing when you're translating terrorist wiretaps for the FBI, then, hey, that's your own voice on the tape
source: justice.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Meth ✔ Sawed off shotgun ✔ Dog poop bomb ✔ Felony charges ✔
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(CTV News)
 
 
 
In today's example of insane legal mental gymnastics, may I present: Man charged with child porn over sex doll, says he bought it to replace dead son
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(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Florida resident tries hand at writing Fark-worthy headline
source: news