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| Sun May 12, 2019 |
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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 8th graders created a 3D printed prosthetic leg for her
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You're asked if you could refill an insulated cup with Disney princesses on it. Do you fill it with scalding water that severely burns a small child when she tries to drink it?
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Oh look, we have a convenient pretext for attacking Iran now
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Writer thinks mothers hate crazy hat day at school more than anything else right now. Moms everywhere - that's not even on the short list
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Photoshop this guy blow-drying one of his balls
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This guy gets bragging rights for best Mother's Day gift
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Distributing child porn? Let's just say authorities are unlikely to buy the old West Nile virus excuse
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After fining a homeowner $500/day for tall grass, the city decides that they are going to foreclose on it. Fark: Homeowner was out of state taking care of his mom's estate. UltraFark: The guy who was mowing the grass died of a heart attack
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Making a joke about vodak can get you kicked off a plane now, apparently
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A nonprofit promised to teach West Virginians how to write computer code. It seems the organization might have been a fraud according to Billyjack Buzzard
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Anti-vax trolls are posting fake negative reviews of pro-immunization doctors to try and discredit them online
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Photoshop this happy good boy
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Maybe they can invent a pill to help ease the pain of being shunned by NY society, make tiny violins more audible
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As a rural Oklahoma hospital runs past $1 million in debt, X-ray and computers shut off for non-payment, the staff and one doctor keep treating patients without paychecks for weeks. Fark: 100 other rural hospitals have closed this past decade
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German hotel guests found killed by crossbow. Police suspect some kind of quarrel
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How the Monster who invented Mother's Day came to hate her own creation
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This takes spreading the gay agenda to a whole new level
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How do you get a pacemaker at age 33? This is how you get a pacemaker at age 33
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What was Leonardo Da Vinci doing when he was your age?
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On one hand, there's the First Amendment. On the other hand, there's possession of "stolen property" that makes the government look bad. Gee...wonder which hand is closing into a fist of tyranny?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this charm bracelet to appeal to Farkettes
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| (Some Gardener) |
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CSB Sunday Morning: Late Spring and gardens are either well in play or being finalized. What's your story of digging in the dirt with hopes and dreams of harvesting nature's bounties? Green and Brown thumbs welcome
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Remember when generic drugs were the much cheaper alternative to name-brand pharmaceuticals? Pepperidge Farm remembers
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Meanwhile, 28 Scientologists remain quarantined on a cruise ship after a crew member came down with measles. Quick, someone light the Cruisesignal
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Philip Morris isn't advertising vaping devices to the under-25 crowd, they just have a 21-year-old Russian social media influencer helping them market heated tobacco to... wait, I'll come in again
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Brewery is offering a paid intern position that requires drinking on the job. Difficulty: It's Natural Light
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American Airlines pilot arrested for triple homicide. Judging from his mugshot, he is disappoint
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| Sat May 11, 2019 |
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FDNY to 35-year-old ex-Navy SEAL who wants to join their department and finished in the top 1% in testing: Sorry, too old
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| (Some Guy) |
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Fowk still scrieve in Scots, an e'en mair speik it in their daily lives. Ye tay can learn tae spick scots, th' leid fur th' perpetually blooter'd amang us
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Soon: participation diplomas for people who can't graduate
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Stuff happens
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Photoshop Fark's one true love
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Carousel will begin in 2029
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Marijuana peddlers, once viewed as dangerous drug dealers in Chicago, are now viewed as acceptable tenants thanks to legal THC
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If you believe in the Sixth Amendment, you're not welcome around Harvard
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Four California school employees find just enough rope to hang themselves
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Dentists warn against brushing your teeth with charcoal. Difficulty: British dentists
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Photoshop this dry area
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The Old Joliet Prison is offering tours to the public. For $20 you can visit Jake Blues' old cell, and listen to tales from local historians and former prison guards. No word if a wicked pepper steak is served on Thursdays
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The worst dating etiquette mistakes you can make. Because some errors are more than just small blunders
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Woman is really upset about the renewal of a sitcom focusing on the experiences of an Asian-American family, posts about it on Twitter. Guess why it gets the awkward tag
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If you're going to try a fake injury scam, it's probably best to check no one is filming first...so you don't end up like this guy
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How can an ordinary rental car be worth almost a million dollars? When police find $947,000 in cash hidden in the fuel tank
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Intercollegiate meat judging is like no sport you've ever seen
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Downtown Miami shut down as SWAT team evicts hotel guest who stayed past checkout time
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You know you've sunk to a new low when you find yourself giving senior citizens free ice cream in order to perform genetic testing on them
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Photoshop this seahorse
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Cuba launches "widespread rationing" in face of crisis. What could possibly go wrong?
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"I think they deserve to live out their senior years together in a real home with people willing to accept not-so-perfect cats." Welcome to Caturday
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North Dakota legalized marijuana a week or so ago, but everyone was so chill it only showed up on the news today (Edit: subby was too high to spell "decriminalized")
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Woman adopts cat that wants to debate tipping constantly
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Teacher goes on sick leave after being diagnosed with breast cancer, but has to pay for her substitute, too
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Woman on Delta flight to New York panics and tries to open the emergency exit door mid-flight after realizing she's flying on Delta
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| (Some Guy) |
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This turtlle pciture is in the url just showde in my yard. Can i keep him? Ohio law, in the middle of an ugly divocre so wqant to stay out of the courts
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Asinine Adventures™ (c) 2019. You are inside a Walmart. You are dressed up as a manager. Employees are at various departments. What do you wish to do?_
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Having solved all the state's other problems, the governor of Arizona signs a bill legalizing nunchucks
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Upper courts uphold previous ruling rejecting class action against lotteries authority. Fark: Plaintiff claims she wouldn't have bought the tickets had she known the odds of winning were so slim
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Avoid robbing concealed-carry folks in a military town. Heck, just avoid robbing altogether; nobody likes it
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Hatchet-wielding patient puts paramedics on edge. If only there was someone around with medical training in case a paramedic got hurt
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German park in Berlin designates "pink zones" for drug deals. Not the red zone or the green zone, the pink zone to get zonkered
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| Fri May 10, 2019 |
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Florida man driving Cadillac from sunroof tells troopers he'd rather go to jail than back home to his wife
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America: Where you have to choose between feeding your family or taking your child to the ER because poison control says an overdose could lead to seizures
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New Zealand's "Coffin Clubs" take the financial sting out of death. Meh, my Coffin of the Month Club membership was only $149.95
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Today's travel tip: pack light whenever you can, and only take as much marijuana with you as you need, since fifty pounds of it tends to raise eyebrows at the airport
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Well, where else would the mummified corpse of a Chupacabra end up but a Florida Woman's yard?
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Man all set to write country song
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Police: Sorry we shot your son in his car, now we just need $900 for the impound fees
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Sad Tag: Authorities discover mother's five children slept on dirty mattresses next to cat feces after girl showed up to school with a backpack infested with bugs. Why subby went with Florida Tag: The mother's room was clean
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State skimps on court-ordered salmon money. Culverts: the salmon killer
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Former "wish kid" organizes a bar crawl for Make-A-Wish
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"There's a problem in the cockpit." "The cockpit, what is it?" "It's a little room where the pilot passes out for 40 minutes after not eating breakfast, and that's actually important right now"
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Ugly Naked Guy breaks into teen's room, gets into rooftop standoff with cops, and just to be sure of getting on Fark, gets a USB cable involved (possible nsfw content on page)
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Photoshop this not-so itsy bitsy spider
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Nearly 300 Jersey City teachers receive layoff notices during Teacher Appreciation Week
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If you're going to claim £46,000 in benefits as a single mum, it's probably best not to openly have your ex coming to & from to the house. And posting those family holiday pics to Facebook is probably a bad idea, too
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Study says the backseat of an Uber is 35,000 times germier than a toilet seat, and much harder to flush
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BBC DJ would like to take back his Tweet showing the royal couple leaving the hospital with their baby as a chimpanzee, says it was supposed to be a "joke about royals vs circus animals in posh clothes" and not, ya know, racist or anything
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French free hostages in Burkina Faso, in operation in which two soldiers die. Jeez, how hard is it to just put a sign up on the side of the road?
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F-35 aggressor squadron to be activated at Nellis Air Force Base, finally giving the stealth fighter the chance to fight back against all the jokes made about it. Assuming it can get off the runway, anyway
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Bums and Posers has no patience with a Colorado craft brewery, and is suing over their Guns 'N' Rosé ale, claiming people will confuse a disgustingly sweet beer with a washed-up band
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Karma takes the day off as woman who stiffed a waiter on a tip accidentally leaves behind a cashier's check worth $424,000, but the waiter returns it anyway
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Police seeking purse thief, public urination suspects. No experience necessary, apply at station
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Idiot who shined laser into Tom Brady's eyes caught. Faces up to a year in jail and refused to apologize to Brady
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Sexiest boxing match ever?
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Got a hot Tinder date coming up with a girl named Becky or Victoria? You gonna get carjacked
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Sometimes you need to turn away throw away Chinese pills that you import to us. Tainted drugs
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Today's entry in Stupid Things Internet Conspiracy Theorists Believe ... yeah, I don't think I can summarize this
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Turns out "just kidding" isn't a defense to repeatedly accusing someone of being a pedophile. Who knew?
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Canada's veteran's affairs posts a video asking to remember the sacrifices made by troops. Fark: Shows Nazis
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Owner of popular local taco shop high as balls. News at 11
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this science experiment with Mr. Wizard
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Mickey Mouse charges dropped against CBD-carrying grandma
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Elderly husband ends "disrespectful talk" from 47-year-old wife in Old West tradition
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Now we have Florida Cat to join Florida Man
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Mail carrier leaves an extra package for her customer
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Manatee gangbang stops traffic this morning in Tampa. But enough about your mom
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The newest thing that can kill you...toothpaste
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Las Vegas woman arrested for murder after pushing 74-year-old man off public transportation, now being charged with throwing him under the bus
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Blah-blah-blah. Nikki flaps her gums, but you can skip to the very end of this piece for the REAL news
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Man films giant bears fighting on his front lawn in New Jersey
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Restroom for customers only?
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Global helium shortage may soon put Hindenburg option in play at weddings and birthday parties
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Only in New York would you leave a 4,000-pound safe just sitting on a busy corner because you can't find a parking space
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Seems legit
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Want to "glamp" on the top of the Watergate Hotel? You can, for $3,000/night. Or, it's free if you break in
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Almost 18 years later, the number of private-sector jobs in Lower Manhattan have finally surpassed number of people employed on September 10, 2001
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Texans baffled and terrified by torrential rainstorm that's flooding Houston at record levels, wish for a powerful wizard or sorcerer to craft a talisman to ward off all the evil spirits bringing this strange, unknowable weather into their lives
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Cannibal Aztecs fattened up captive Spanish conquistadors with an all-you-can-eat Taco Bell diet
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There are apparently zombie fish in Florida because OF COURSE THERE ARE
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RI school district: Kids with overdue lunch balances get only sun butter and jelly sandwiches. Local restaurateur: Here's $4K to pay the overdue balances. School: Not enough. R: How about $13K? School: No because, reasons. Chobani CEO: $50K do it?
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Whoah. There are lyrics to the new theme for NPR's MORNING EDITION
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Caption this smorgasbord
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Here's your mugshot goodness for Friday, courtesy of this DUI suspect
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B-52s ordered by the White House to the Persian Gulf land in Qatar. This trip will not be full of huggin and a-kissin, dancing and a-lovin
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Good morning to all you farkerz... What kind of farkery does The Weekend hold for you? Drew, lets green this to the main page and I'll sponsor for one month 3 liters who have the best plans
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What happens when half a ton of cocaine gets washed ashore on a remote island? 'One man was selling so much of the stuff from his car that his seats were white with powder, and he paid a friend 300g of cocaine just to charge his phone'
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School bus driver pulls the "I'm not racist, my dog is black" card
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Oh no - what am I supposed to spend my Nigerian millions on now?
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"We were pumping water off of our property for a couple of hours into a flooded street." And then... "I would love to retract that,"
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Vietnam launches chopper rides in famous bay. Want to guess the sound track?
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Guy: Help me science twitter. Science twitter: Nope. NOPE NOPE NOPE
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Photoshop this updated tub/shower combo
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US Government bars citizenship to child of gay couple because of course they farking did
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Kindergarten student says measles and whooping cough are so boring, goes old school with Scarlet Fever
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Today's Fark-ready headline typo: Pentagon unsure of how many pubic websites it runs
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Magazine reporter decides to wear metallic duct tape bikini for the day to see what happens. Not surprisingly, she's a hit with male beachgoers (NSFW)
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Gut doctors hate him because of this one weird trick for seniors in your area billion-dollar industry
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In most Western countries, only a minority of people pray every day. The US is the exception
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NOT NEWS: Five months ago a parent warned Highlands Ranch about bullying, violence, and drug culture at the school which might lead to a shooting. NEWS: The school took action. FACEPALM NEWS: They sued the parent for defamation
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Nine-year-old boy shoots and kills his own mother. That's the tragedy
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Humanity is winning the war on child mortality
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Release the terminix guy. No, he's really bugging me and bogarting the roach
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Drone survey of Chernobyl after 33 years reveals stay the hell away
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Cathay Pacific really values your privacy when you fly first class
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The old adage says "A lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client." But in this case, it was the only thing that finally worked
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Well, maybe one regert
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Portland, Oregon's plan to address homeless people pooping in the street is not a hit with neighbors. In fact they think it is just sh*tty
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"I can't believe it. One lousy little bee gets inside and you just freak out"
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Detective goes to the wrong place to follow up on a tip about a car that wasn't actually involved in a fatal hit-and-run, stumbles upon the right car in the process
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| Thu May 09, 2019 |
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Massive pot plant takes over office, no, not that sort
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Better call Ghostbusters to the Canal Street 1 Train platform in NYC, it has a bit of a blob prob
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Knock-offs of famous brand name products are by turns hilarious and terrifying
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In order for civilization to survive in the future, we will have to be subterranean. One with the mole people, if you will
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Beerspill. Not just a Fark website, but a crash on the I-5 in southern California
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CNN chief denies reports they're planning to bring Matt Lauer to the network, so someone press the button and lock the door on that rumor
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Prosecutors say four good guys with guns who shot at another motorist were NOT triggered by hearing that f-ing awful "Gloria" song for the billionth time in a week, but something else instead
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"Relatives of romance scam victim can't stop him from sending money"
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WaPo editorialist joins tennis club, discovers that nobody in it seems to enjoy talking to him, invents entire belief structure to explain why it's not about them all hating his guts
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If you're wondering where your backpack with two large rolls of sheet metal disappeared to, Glassboro police have both good and bad news for you
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| (Some Invader) |
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Photoshop this scourge of suburbia
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Not sure which is weirder. That a 16 year old girl found naked in 56 year old man's apartment was wearing a court-ordered ankle bracelet, or that it could be cut off with scissors
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Want to see a video of a spider building a nest inside a man's ear? Sure you do. Sleep well tonight
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A man faked his death. His ex-wife faked his funeral. Then their son found him alive. Subby fakes shaking her head
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Elderly disabled man asks teens to move out of his handicapped parking spot, gets knocked unconscious for his trouble. With security camera footage that will definitely appear in a courtroom
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Woman/crying clown drives to jail on suspended license with meth in her pants
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"Hey, do you want to proof-read the most eagerly-awaited announcement of the year?" "Nah, it'll be fine. What could go wrong?" (possible nsfw content on page)
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Your Fark reads-like-a-Mad-Lib headline of the day: "Airbnb will pivot to video with the release of its first-ever feature film, Gay Chorus Deep South"
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Italian (bewbs) volleyball (bewbs) team (bewbs) strip (bewbs) naked (bewbs) to celebrate crucial (bewbs) victory (beeeeeewwwwwwwbs) (NSFW)
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The grandson of Dr. Ing. h.c. Ferdinand Porsche has unveiled an electric sports car that charges to 80% in under 5 minutes. Wie sagt man "Suck it, Elon" auf Deutsch?
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Reenacting scenes from National Lampoon's Vacation series might get you arrested
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Now THIS is how you conduct a police chase in the age of social media
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Photoshop theme: What if the John Bolton mustache becomes a fad? (LGT potential source images)
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One of the sticking points during negotiations at he US North Korea summit in Hanoi? Kim REALLY wanted to host an NBA All-Star game
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Semper Fi: Marine recruit helped subdue shooter at STEM School Highlands Ranch
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Missouri middle school catching heat for promoting "Stoplight Day," where kids in a relationship wear red, those who aren't wear green, and those too stupid to understand the question wear yellow
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Giant cockroach crawls over Philippines' president during campaign speech
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Three Mile Island sets date for meltdown, er, shutdown
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Florida students hack school's email system, call for "Mandatory Penis Inspection"
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Ah, Kingsport, Tennessee. Where spring is in the air, alcohol is on everyone's breath and marijuana, meth, syringes are in the cars. Come for the guns, stay for the naked people defecating by the sidewalk
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You can't yell fire in a theater, but you can eat ass on the back of a pickup
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Everyone JUST DISCOVERED that last year a North Korean ship was seized by the U.S. So, now that we've got that out of the way...
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Well, technically, he was driving
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If you picked Anniston, AL as most dangerous military town one could be stationed at, come on down, pick up your Kevlar body armor
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FBI to investigate 'public corruption' in Enumclaw, Washington, in case that surprisingly doesn't involve a horse somehow
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Breaking news: College seniors like to hook up (possible NSFW content on page)
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Ah, I see. Previously, Catholic clergy were not even required to report abuse. It's all so simple now
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Man leaves behind backpack in a library with meth and clear plastic nunchucks, then tells an elaborate backstory when he comes to claim it. The librarians were not impressed
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BBC DJ sacked after tweeting a picture of a chimpanzee in a suit with the caption "Royal Baby leaves hospital". Facepalm & dumbass tags seen fighting over who gets this one
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Women commit strong-arm robbery, stealing over $3600 in perfume. And they would have gotten away with it, too, if they weren't the only car on the road with its license plate covered with pair of panties
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Turns out, people don't take kindly when father tries to pawn baby as a social media prank. "He put it on the counter, he was pretty serious about it. He spun the baby around, and said- can I pawn this?"
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Stolen car crashes into house when being chased by stolen police SUV. Florida tag covers all, even Ironic tag
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World's most famous 'nullo' had genitals surgically removed, cooked and served to paying guests at public banquet
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Caption this library research
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Police arrest man believed to be driving under the influence, possibly because he was driving through a mall
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Good guy with a gun at Colorado school shooting may have fired at responding sheriff's deputy--and also shot a student. We clearly need more guns in schools
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Washington State AG reaches deal to stop Amazon from selling asbestos crayons to schoolkids. Bag o'glass, Junior Tracheotomy Kits, and Baby's First Landmines still presumably for sale
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Delta asks if you'd rather play video games than join a union
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Thailand tourists spot cloud formation that is like "scene straight out of Avengers". Thanos is apparently in the weather game now (possible nsfw content on page)
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Today in 'it's NOT news': Irish drinkers are known to 'consume twice as much alcohol as the global average'
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Apparently the person in Australia charged with the responsibility to ensure their bank notes are printed correctly is not very responsible
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Drogon's body dug up in China. Viserion still missing, say reports (possible nsfw content on page)
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Fire truck catches irony
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Newly free Antonio Bascaro holds the record for the longest completed sentence for a non-violent marijuana crime -- 39 years for helping smuggle 600,000 pounds
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No snark here, just a great article from Stanford medicine about how your insurance company went from protecting your health to maximizing their profits. Awesome read
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"Who looks at a truck like that and seethes in rage? What's the matter with these people? What kind of glum, miserable, sanitized half-lives do they want to lead?"
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Looks like we need a new term to describe all those "once in a hundred year floods" that happen every year now. Anybody got any ideas?
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Photoshop this Great White Shark
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Rich couple buys property with restrictions on preserving old trees. Discover 600,000 reasons why rules do apply to the big people too
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I got in one firefight and my mom got scared. She said you're moving your arsenal to Bel-Air
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Anti-vax doctor's records subpoenaed. Reasons for medical exemptions to vaccinations he issued included dontwanna, idiautism, and Jmccarthy Syndrome
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University of Central Florida combines culinary training and med school. Just because you know how to remove someone's liver doesn't mean you know how to cook it with fava beans and a nice Chianti
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This is normal
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GA legislators to states passing "heartbeat" abortion bans: we'll see that and raise you "Women who miscarry can be interrogated" and "Going out of state for your abortion? We'll charge you with murder when you return"
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Wallingford, Connecticut town councilman (R) wants to bill parents of special needs kids for their education related services. This is the same guy who felt a special need to call said kids the R-word in a city council meeting last year
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Cop breaks car window with forearm, drags out passenger with hands up. Police chief: "We treated that suspect with the utmost respect." Let's roll the tape
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Denver decriminalizes magic mushrooms, and the elvish sky rains happy dancing toads upon the howling leather windmills feasting on the visions in your mind's eye, floating like a vermilion brick
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 731: "Happy Farktography Anniversary 14". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed May 08, 2019 |
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North Dakota man pleads guilty after he walks into a church, disrobes and jumps into the baptismal fountain, then rubs one out while walking down the aisle. The Aristocrats
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Green Acres is the place to be. Fat livin' is the life for me. Jeans spreadin' out so far and wide. Keep Manhattan, just give me that increased rate of preventable death
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♫ Then the liver and onions started joinin' the fight and the chocolate pudding pushed me with all its might and the chop suey slapped me, and it kicked me in the head ♫
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Woman enters random home, washes dishes, recycles boyfriend's spinach can
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Fark pissed off Ben Shapiro. He'll get over it
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Nat Geo Travel Photo contest finalists (not a slideshow); come for the high-fiving polar bears, stay for the ultimate Notre Dame on fire picture
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Photoshop this guitar
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Starbucks cups through the cinematic ages
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When it comes to picking pizza toppings, aardvark is first on the list (possible nsfw content on page)
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A 2000 Honda Accord owner proudly pulled over to take a picture of his odometer, which read 999999 at the time
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Did you dine at the ICON Gentlemen's Club between April 15 and April 23? No reason, just wondering
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Human Rights Watch reverse-engineered app used by Chinese state to spy on people in Xinjiang. Now that the software's out, expect some sort of this high-tech totalitarianism fever dream to be implemented in the company you work for in the near future
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Protip: when booking a holiday villa at an amazingly low price of £5000, make sure the company has genuine reviews on its website, that they don't use Western Union for payment, and that the General Manager knows how to spell 'Dear'
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Photoshop this fashionable eyewear
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Train your brain to eat less sugar. And no, it doesn't involve inserting a crayon
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Women buy box of Legos with $40K of meth inside, finish building set in 0.0575 nanoseconds - with their minds
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Former WWE Star elected mayor because Florida
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Amanda Knox returning to Italy for a conference that is in no way a trap or clever ruse
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The nuclear power industry has a vision for the future, one where meltdowns are smaller, greener, and much more aesthetically pleasing
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School district: "If you owe lunch money, you can only have a jelly sandwich until the debt is paid." Restaurant owner: "What if I pay off all students' lunch money debts?" School district: "ONLY jelly sandwiches"
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Teen who refused to get chickenpox vaccine no longer needs it
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Man accused of throwing concrete blocks, large rocks at police vehicles for the third time, says he's beta testing Grand Theft Auto: Stone Age
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No sex please, we're young British
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According to chart, when it comes to per-capita consumption of pure alcohol in gallons per year, Karl Gelles has us all beat
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Car key fobs mysteriously stop working in small Ohio town. Rod Serling unavailable for comment
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The 23 most ridiculous headlines about the royal baby, none of which is from Fark.com
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Let's be honest, if inanimate objects were talking to you and you thought the sirens in your rearview mirror were "fake cops," you'd run too
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Mosque threatened with violence after presenting a program of children singing songs that threaten violence. Tag applies to everyone involved
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Meghan and Harry name their son Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor. Prince Jughead reportedly thrilled
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Caption this family dining out
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There are several reasons most people don't try to eat live octopus and live stream the experience. This is definitely one of them
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Listen, and understand. That knotweed is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until it has taken over your yard
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Man arrested after fatally stabbing a duck. A what? A duck. Did it quack? Of course it quacked, ask the next submitter
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Get off my lawn? How about you get rid of your lawn
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Air Force uses their version of the F-35 in combat for the first time, and not by dropping loose parts on ISIS bunkers
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Minnesota college sophomore wants to learn "the deepest secrets of the universe", an admirable goal. Fark: He's ten years old
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"I feel happier. I feel more me. I feel, I guess, freer in a sense"
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Conservative group challenges mindfulness in schools. "We prefer being mindless." says group spokesman
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Looks like Denver will vote down becoming the first city to allow things like magic mushrooms there. Mario inconsolable
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Officer recorded in viral verbal altercation with middle school students bravely backs out of promised public apology
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Newborn baby found on top of garbage can in alley. At least it wasn't in the garbage can. Or in 10 garbage cans
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Photoshop this close call
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Your mom likes National Dog Mom's Day. Start celebrating on Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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Rare pink dolphin may have given birth to another pink dolphin
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Great grandmother who planned to poison millions at Disney World stopped by heroic Orange County deputy
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78-year-old man arrested for not reporting death of his mother last June, leaving her corpse in bedroom to be discovered by his visiting son
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...arrested for brandishing an AR-15 assault style bong
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Baltimore computer system crippled by ransomware virus; residents not able to pay bills, parking tickets. Soon the city may go bankrupt due to them not being able to fleece the residents
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A unique way to handle a nasty tweet from a gamergater: Tell his mom (NSFW language in tweet)
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Not news: woman arrested. Weird news: for "offending religious feelings." WTF news: by painting Jesus and Mary with rainbow halos
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Tanzania plans cable car to peak of Mount Kilimanjaro
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Your Fark reads-like-a-Mad-Lib headline of the day: "Utah teens in polygamous group travel to Colorado to marry their cousins"
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B52s cover Beach Boys
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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "This is snek"
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Tired of the city ignoring that big pothole keeping you up at night? Draw a penis on it
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A 16-year-old girl calls her 17-year-old brother claiming an older man sexually assaulted her on a bus. Does big brother (A) Call the police, (B) Call his parents, or (C) Race to the scene and kill the guy
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Bingo.... Bingo....BINNNGGGGOOOooo *sparks up a cigarette*
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There won't be any "freeing the nipple" in Springfield, Missouri. Federal judges say city can ban women from going topless
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Look we all know what a nurse's uniform looks like. We've seen lots of them on the tubes
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Two year old doesn't want to go to day care, is left for dead. No, seriously
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Florida Man arrested for professing his love of eating donkeys proudly on his car
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This is not hard, people. The quaint covered wooden bridge has room for vehicles shorter than 7 feet. There are signs. There are flashing lights. Yet again the Concord Road Covered Bridge in Smyrna has been struck. Apparently because it is Tuesday
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"Enjoy." They keep using that word. I do not think it means what they think it means
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Officials in Arizona want to combat the public health crisis that is A.) Childhood obesity, B). Opioid addiction or C). Porn
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French man floats across Atlantic in giant barrel, arrives in Caribbean, smells French
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Not News: China has re-purposed American Tech it obtained surreptitiously and is using it for their own aims. Uh-oh: The NSA's hacking tools. Fark: that they likely obtained after NSA infected their systems with them
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Fark NotNewsletter: It's time!
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Apparently, when cars invade Brooklyn in some dystopian Pixar future, the buildings won't make great fortifications
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Photoshop this colourful accident
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Doug Pitt reenacts his brother's scene from Se7en. What's in the boooooox?
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Michigan librarian awarded $90,000 after fraud claims against her were dismissed. Lawyer tells her to respond to media questions with just "Shhh"
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Fark Health Minister says smoke and drink all you want. Sorry, meant to say Norway Health Minister. But if Fark had a Health Minister, they would agree
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Michael Cohen helped Falwell Jr dispose of racy "personal" pictures
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Man splurges life savings on strip club dances after 'living it up like Pablo Escobar' during friend's Bachelor Party. 'Idiot fund' set up to help him recoup losses
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How do you flood an 18-story building? Well, first you take copious amounts of meth
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Shots fired at Denver metro-area school. Update: One dead, eight injured, two suspects in custody
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"You are Newcastle"......."Err. No we're not"
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Oontz oontz oontz brrrr-brrr-brrrr, Oontz oontz oontz brrrr-brrr-brrrr,Oontz oontz oontz brrrr-brrr-brrrr
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"Officers with the Pella Police Department received 13 counterfeit bills, valued at more than $200" says reporter who doesn't understand the meaning of the word counterfeit
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Photoshop Theme: What's in your wallet?
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Dive Dive Dive Wait...who left the back door open?
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Neither Kentucky Derby winner will run in Preakness
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Bear spotted running down street in New York. No word if it was going to Ty's Bar for drag night
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And you thought getting shot at was the scariest thing that could happen to you in Baltimore
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Well, that's what happens when you don't bring enough lube
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Police arrest suspect in the killing of a police officer who was gunned down outside a Biloxi MS, police station. The victim was a 24-year vet who was planning to retire at the end of the year. Unknown if he felt he was getting to old for this shiat
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How to win an argument, Alabama edition: set the house on fire
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Having solved all other public health issues in Kentucky, the dept of health has moved on to proposing legislation that will ban anyone from using tattoos to cover up their scars
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Remember 'Taco Truck Tammy' who threatened to call ICE on Mexican food truck workers? Local residents hold party in her honor complete with mariachi band and tacos
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Subby likes to tell the ladies he has a third leg, but unfortunately he's been upstaged by a bull with six legs
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It's spring, so time for a refresher in backyard snaketry. Tag is for what to do when you see one
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He just wanted to find his cat, dammit
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Flea invasion forces the shutdown of a Paris police station. Suspects already jumped bail
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British soldier killed by an elephant in Malawi....while on an anti-poaching mission
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Turns out Sandra Bland recorded the cop that went on to arrest her prior to her "suicide," and it hugely undercuts his story that she was threatening him. Which I'm sure is a huge shock to all people everywhere
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Caption this family playing a board game
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According to Alamance County Sheriffs, a pair of Mebane residents were involved in kidnapping case involving a victim from Raleigh, an additional accomplice from Bunn, and a bridge in Granville County
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Two reporters / Without a doubt / Spent a year in jail / But now are out... Burma Pardons
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City of Milwaukee won't pay for damage caused by potholes they failed to fix because they don't have the money. This is the same Milwaukee that spent over $120M on a streetcar system, over $500M on a new arena, and will be hosting the DNC in 2020
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I'm so very lonely. I know, I'll use witchcraft to find love by recording sexual videos of myself. Oh darn, that was just an extortion scheme. Now I'm more lonely than ever
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Your punishment for massive overtime fraud at your police station? Months-long paid leave for everybody
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Great, my cover is blown. So to speak
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Cabbie recognizes fare as rape suspect, immediately drives him to the police
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Fans with children are outraged ...OUTRAGED when cheerleaders "perform STRIPTEASE in front of their kids" at basketball match. More review will no doubt be needed to see if you will be properly outraged too (probably NSFW)
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Photoshop these hands
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Wisconsin man wanted for stealing 24 bottles of Hennessy from Costco, presumably one for each hour of the day
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Things are getting so bad in Oakland these days vigilantes are now going out at night and taking the law into their own hands
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Boeing: "That 737 sliding off the end of the runway last week was a one-of-a-kind occurrence." Russian airline: "Hold my borscht and vodka"
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What happens when two Marines blow off a major general, one by saluting without standing up or putting down his iPhone and the other blowing him off entirely? Let's ask the 2nd Marine Division
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Out of all the ex-President graves you could pick to vandalize, why would you target Gerald Ford's?
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Fifty-year-old time capsule reveals... sexier times
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Florida man with a suspended license since 1978 manages to ram a police car with a riding lawnmower. George Jones hoists a brew and snorts a line in salute
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Florida woman pulls an alligator out of her pants during a traffic stop. A number of small turtles were also involved
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Cross country cat accidentally goes to Florida
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Ten teens injured by dropping acid at party in New York's East Village
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