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Sun April 28, 2019
(ITV)
 
 
 
So I click on an article about the obesity epidemic and it asks me about cookies. No wonder everyone's so fat
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cherwell.org)
 
 
 
Someone REALLY wants a Darwin award
source: cherwell.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Central Maine)
 
 
 
Pole dancers increase fertility
source: centralmaine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Now that's a wave
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Enough about silly politics, here's a real problem that actually affects Farkers: China swine fever epidemic to cause skyrocketing bacon prices
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this simulated "martian space base"
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
White nationalists storm DC bookstore to protest "This Land Is Your Land" reading, probably representing the first and last time white nationalists enter a bookstore
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
He thought he was adjusting the room lights but he accidentally unveiled Ecuador's national surveillance system
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these dark shadowy figures
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
If you're going to rob a store, set your standards a little higher than Dollar Tree
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Anti-vaxxers bring the proof that measles is harmless: a 1969 episode of "The Brady Bunch"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
World's tallest, fastest and longest dive roller coaster opens in Canada. 245-foot drop at a 90-degree angle and a 360-degree loop, reaching a top speed of 80 miles per hour is not for the timid
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Sleepy Idiot)
 
 
 
Did not RTFA. Scotch and Ambien, duh
source: 7news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Time for a leisurely Sunday stroll through American history and look back at what we considered a "huge" house fifty years ago (deslided for your enjoyment)
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this disturbing candy face
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Coolest video of cooling towers from Massachusetts' last coal-fired power plant imploding you'll see all day
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tri-City News)
 
 
 
Can't get millennials to buy houses? Throw in free avocado toast for a year
source: tricitynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
More importantly, would you really want to be a roommate with someone who made their decision this way?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Monthly)
 
 
 
People whose wealth has insulated them from any real problems are surprisingly clueless about what's going on around them
source: washingtonmonthly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Fine, you're free to go, but your brain is getting sent to prison
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The time has come to stop naming ships with "female" names ...and while you're at it, stop naming countries, and other inanimate things as female. You bros should be down with this
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Bumpty bumpty bump
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
Video
 
Teen gets into 115 colleges, offered $3.7M in scholarships. Man, kids today are so lazy
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
In other shooting news, good guys with guns shoot three out of four children in truck with man they wanted to question
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 27, 2019
(KVOA Tucson)
 
 
 
Missing hiker's dog displays unwavering loyalty. The outdoors are a very, very dusty place
source: kvoa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
In preparation for unseasonable snowfall, Chicago criminals get shootings out of the way Saturday morning
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Want out of your failing restaurant and enormous debt? Stage a hate crime, of course
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Crane falls across several lanes of traffic in downtown Seattle. Four deaths, three injuries reported
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Australia to cancel Caturday
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Drug experts having a hard time finding out why citizens aren't using drug drop-offs and forget to take into account one thing. Why should i do something for free when I can sell them and get some of my money back
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Tribune Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this exam
source: trbimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Questions to park rangers at U.S. National Parks illustrate the vast intellect of the average American tourist
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
UK might ban shaking hands at workplaces to prevent sexual harassment
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Synagogue shooting in San Diego. One dead, three wounded, man in custody
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Juggalo alpacas, how do they work
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Duke swimmer
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Pub crawls. New hotness: Independent bookstore crawls
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
State that is big on parental rights is concerned that an increasing number of students are being opted out of state tests by parents, but can't easily conduct an audit to determine WHY parents are opting students out because of parental rights issues
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Thousands feared trapped by cyclone Kenneth, as meteorologists ponder the increased frequency of powerful storms
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Look smart, impress your friends: Be ready for the mass panic asteroid-is-coming drill
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The end of April is nigh. The sun is shining, the flowers are blooming, small woodland animals begin a'courting, and most of the Midwest is facing a blizzard
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop these clams.These horrifying, horrifying clams
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Oxford University professor claims aliens are already breeding with humans on earth to create a new hybrid species that will save the planet. And yes, your mom is responsible for the end of the present human race (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(fark cancer)
 
 
 
We interrupt your normally scheduled Caturday thread to bring you some sad news: Longtime farker, Photoshopper and Caturday participant Lar Jorgen (Ben) has crossed the Rainbow Bridge. Come join us in sharing some happy memories (LGT obituary)
source: wheelanpressly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The state of whistleblowing has gone downhill
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
You don't want to miss the insane method this firearms instructor uses to train when and when not to shoot
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Losing your teaching job after porn videos surface. New and improved: Banished from church priesthood because your wife participated in a beauty pageant
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Dumb and dumber criminals win over 5 million bucks with stolen debit card. Lottery won't pay out but they were so close. They declare 'we are calling the cops' subby expects they will get a big payoff prize in the hoosegow (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Dumbass Ex-Boyfriend breaks in and lives in attic, gets caught by leaving the seat up. Don't worry ladies, he'll be available in 3-5
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Bicyclists around the country litter to protest having to share the road
source: www2.bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WALB Albany)
 
 
 
Albany truck drivers increasingly unhinged as someone keeps stealing their tailgates
source: walb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Now how'd he get those? Mercedes doesn't know how Kim Jong Un got his limos
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Centers for Disease Control)
 
 
 
One in nine women drink during pregnancy. Heck, I'd drink too if I found out I were pregnant
source: cdc.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Now you can search a database of the 85,000 cops who have been investigated for misconduct. The other 950,000 haven't been entered yet
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 26, 2019
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Pai Mei strokes his goatee, nods in approval
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAIT Jonesboro)
 
 
 
"OMG, I could have 'puked': Dumped chicken waste creates fowl mess near Arkansas woman's home
source: kait8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
That's what you get for messing with Betty Crocker
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SF Weekly)
 
 
 
San Francisco's Castro District is reportedly about to get the biggest organ in the world, which can't be true because Subby lives in North Beach
source: sfweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Study shows lack of sleep can affect your job, at least for those of you who don't sleep at your desk
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Reason #395729 to delete your Facebook
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vineland Daily Journal)
 
 
 
Pro Tip: If you're going to flash a lady in the library do not give her your business card first
source: thedailyjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Police hope to flush out toilet paper thief that caused $500 worth of damage taking it
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Yet another sign, the strongest yet, that Apple TV+ is going to suck, big time
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Have you ever wondered how Christian schools deal with all the nekkidness in classic art? This is how
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this freaky face
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Trailblazing study on peanut allergies finds kids more likely to have an anaphylaxic reaction when they consume peanuts than when they abstain
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Four Dept. of Corrections employees have been sidelined for facilitating a booty call between a male and a female inmate, who, when later discovered, each accused the other of sexual assault. The Rikersislandocrats
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Man smokes a heaping helping of meth, goes to war with the man in the mattress. Talk about crystal courage
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The British investigate an American phenomenon: the plastic pink flamingo
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Kindergarten teacher fired after kicking a student, wonders if that was wrong and it should not have been done
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
"Downtown Orlando fire station, can I help you?" "Um, I found a baby cheetah and don't know what to do with it. Can I bring it by the station?"
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Kim Jong Un accuses the Trump Administration of acting in bad faith, having apparently not paid attention to any news at all coming out from over here
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
SF Bay Area is the most expensive place in the world to build, eclipsing New York, London, Zurich, Hong Kong, and the Mariana Trench
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Good news: your sugar baby foot fetish can be satisfied at UCF for the low, low price of $500
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spring Task)
 
 
 
Photoshop this garden prep
source: madisonsquarepark.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Anti-hate crime charity tricks british far-right xenophobes into wearing "St. George was Syrian" t-shirts to a public celebration
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Connecticut judge rules eating a hashbrown while driving is not an infraction
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Elizabeth Hurley's safety pin dress. New hotness: ASOS' bulldog clipped dress
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
If you left your boat alongside the road in San Joaquin County, the sheriff's office wants you to contact them
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
No, you can't come inside, you're an alligator
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Star Exponent)
 
 
 
"However, the FBI agent said the minister's daughter noted that the website she viewed had ended in '.onion,' rather than '.com' or '.org'"
source: starexponent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
High-potency marijuana causes psychotic disorders. You were submitting this with a better headline when tiny naked elves stole your feet
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News9 Oklahoma)
 
 
 
"The victims said because of the officers' professionalism, they no longer feared for police brutality." There's a lesson here somewhere
source: news9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Subby knows this comes as a shock, but it seems that heavy drinking is linked with sexual activity on college campuses. Some people have a problem with that
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
A note to the traveling public, you should be VERY careful when bringing sex toys and sexy outfits on holiday for fun and games ...because some countries don't allow sex toys. Something about being no fun (NSFW)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
In a decision unlikely to offend anyone, Kansas Supreme Court finds that the State Constitution protects a woman's right to an abortion
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
We're now learning that the abuse of children by Boy Scouts leaders was far more widespread than anyone thought. Remember, though, it's letting girls in that was going to ruin that organization
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
The lionfish is being studied for clues to its invasive courage. Search for the tin manta, scarecroaker, and wizardfish goes on
source: sciencesources.eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Pet sitting? No problem. Pet sitting in your lap while driving? $448 ticket
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Four words: Harley Davidson electric motorcycle
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Brooklyn subway riders enter the highway to L tonight
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zero Hedge)
 
 
 
Stuff on fire, yo, the Russian ICBM factory edition
source: zerohedge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Caption this pinchy angel
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Oklahoma moonshiner forgot to leave free samples for the cops
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Good news, civilization will end on Monday because of a HUGE earthquake that will 'TOTALLY' destroy it (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Arizona police bust HOV lane driver with dummy passenger. Larry David impressed
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Android Police)
 
 
 
Amazon to change prime delivery from two days from some arbitrary date to one day from some other arbitrary date. The package will be here next Thursday
source: androidpolice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
If you live near Reagan National Airport in Washington D.C. and it looks like the world is ending this weekend, don't worry. It's all planned. This time
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
The CIA is now on Instagram so go ahead and turn the tables and follow them
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Chinese scientists are using "lax rules" to experiment with monkeys and human genetics, and now the American scientist they worked with has admitted it was a dangerous mistake (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Huge firey crash under bridge. Trolls and billy goats not involved
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
A man tied to multiple murders was allowed out of mental hospital unsupervised, let's see how it worked out
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bunting)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scarlet tanager
source: ebird.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Our bananas are turning brown. Would you like to know more?
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Sydney man turns to the internet for answers as to whether a creepy "sushi spider" he found in his home needs wasabi or just a dip in soy sauce
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Anchorage police search for man they say rammed patrol cars with stolen truck, frightened online newspaper readers
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
The thin red line between generational wealth and generational poverty, explained
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
French architect reimagines Notre Dame's future roof as a greenhouse
source: curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you want to find out your patronus or whether you are in the upper 99th percentile for detecting subtle changes in similar colors, now is the time to take that quiz on Facebook
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
State prosecutor who hosted "Cold Justice" is evading service for testimony and may be jailed. Fark: prosecutor's nickname is "giant killer". Bonus: her pic may give you a giant
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Microsoft reveals plans to release Windows: Barefoot and Pregnant Edition
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Despite some slips in 2018, the USA is still leading the world
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 25, 2019
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Auditor general of the state with the highest gas tax and second most structurally deficient bridges finds DOT gave $4.2 billion to the state police. Something about hookers and blow
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
While Millennials might be living in their parents' basements, at least one Gen Xer is being entrepreneurial and making a prostitution ring while he's living there
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Bevis does the brave thing and blames teachers for a child being shot
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
This is how humanity comes to an end
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Florida House Republicans pass bill confirming they haven't read the 24th amendment
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Australia's Daily Telegraph decides to upgrade their content
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Well, he *is* white
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Someone hacked Australia's Lime e-scooter service to say sexual things to riders (w/audio)
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10TV Columbus)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for shoplifting, making extremely bad life choices
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
"Measles in Alabama: What you need to know and what you should do." 1) Alabama spreads disease and 2) you should not go there
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
When I was a kid you were popular if you brought gum to school to share with the class. This kid will go down as legendary
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop Larry Niven and this early first-person shooter
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Surprisingly, most people who claim to work long hours are liars
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Honey caught stealing diapers and beer
source: wtam.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
NSA to stop listening in on Americans' phone calls after realizing the only people who still make phone calls are telemarketers and your grandma
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
A&E doctor suspended after saying "women deserve to be raped," bragging he'd murder wife. History channel, AMC, TLC doctors strangely silent (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Hazmat crews respond to a suspicious package that turned out to be a piece of Godzilla's skin
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Today's made for Fark headline: Instagram butt model enlists doctor to prove derrière is real deal (NSFW)
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
"CDC warns blood-sucking 'kissing bug' sighted in Colorado," demanding legal weed in exchange for leaving your face alone
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Apple watch lost at sea turns up six months later - and still works
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Not a euphemism)
 
 
 
"During the argument, both of the individuals shot each other with the same gun." Alcohol may have played a factor
source: wtok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ghana haveta ask)
 
 
 
"There was only one slight problem. The airline didn't actually exist. That's to say that they didn't have a plane, and they didn't have any sort of approval from authorities"
source: onemileatatime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
$1.8 million raised for historic black churches burned down after Notre Dame fire
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guitar
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Knope, Knope, Knope
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Story in high school paper about current student doing porn may cost teacher her job, get submitter a green light, and why am I bothering, you've already clicked, haven't you?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Los Angeles now rated the nation's most polluted city. Air quality called the same as smoking a cigarette while driving behind a diesel bus during wildfire season
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
I'm Kent Brockman, and coming up on the six o'clock news, the latest craze that's sweeping the nation - superglueing yourself to famous London landmarks
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Guy walks down a street with a miniature shack on his head that shoots flame from its chimney in time to the music it's playing. Difficulty: Not in Florida (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Woman accused of providing sex services to Robert Kraft now flagged for illegal use of hands
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Townspeople complain about a new tornado siren's location, so it's turned off. Townspeople then complain new tornado siren didn't warn them of tornado. There's just no pleasing some people
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Ringer)
 
 
 
Everyone that you love might be dead by Monday morning. Enjoy your weekend (don't post spoilers!)
source: theringer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Armed robber steals 9-week-old rottweiler from pet shop. Will have to continue crime spree to pay food bill
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Tiger mauls Las Vegas illusionist. This is not a repeat from 2003
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stranger)
 
 
 
There's an easy solution: buttsecks
source: thestranger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Chore)
 
 
 
Caption this family laundry time
source: mothering.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Farkers predicted this
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
The most useful bit of information about Avengers: Endgame you will read today
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Firefighters rescue man stuck in a chimney, police arrest him for attempted burglary even though the man asked them to dash away, dash away, dash away all
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
Boobies
 
Searching for Avengers Endgame porn? Captain America is judging you (possible nsfw content on page) (DON'T POST SPOILERS)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Fark Ready: Man arrested on DWI charge while wearing 'Periodic Drinker' shirt
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
No word yet if mushrooms were involved or if any Super Thwomps caused any waves
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Heavy metal, children's books, and of course a black hole question are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, April 7-13 Real Housewives Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Rent isn't too damn high. Income growth is too damn low
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Mum tries cheap at-home lip filler treatment, turns herself into a freak with 'sausage lips' after nasty reaction
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Semi-naked man not named Vinny tries to stop thieves stealing his ute
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NECN Boston)
 
 
 
Finally we see the end result of printer ink and toner being more valuable than the printers themselves
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
What the hell is leftover vodka?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Burglars make off with numerous colonoscopes. Probably an inside job
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this record setting melon slicer
source: cbsnews1.cbsistatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
If you must kill a fish that's been hanging around since dinosaur times, using a bow is definitely the way to do it (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Help Wanted: Hard labor, odd hours, low pay, cool helmet
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Mommy, there's a weird creature in my closet". Mom: "no dear, you know there is no such thing as monsters, you're fine." Three days later...
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Assistant fire chief charged with arson after truck's GPS rats him out
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Little shiats aren't buying anything. Get off my lawn, you little commies. No, I am not renting out my lawn
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You don't actually hate pineapple on pizza, you're just a mindless lemming
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Even the jaded employees at a New Zealand McDonald's were mildly surprised when a guy marched through their drive-thru with a dead deer on his shoulders
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Law & Order is distracting, especially while behind the wheel. Dun dun
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Kuwaiti academic discovers that homosexuality is caused by a worm in your butt. No that is not a metaphor
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
American bomb damages German town. This is not a repeat from 1945
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXXV Waco)
 
 
 
Semi loaded with avocados overturns on Texas freeway. Holy guacamole
source: kxxv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
When driving a school bus, please leave your beer bottles and weed at home. And obey traffic laws
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
There is now a malaria vaccine for the anti-vaxxers to ignore like the f*cking idiots they are
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northeast Explorer)
 
 
 
April is moron-hiker season in New Hampshire
source: northeastexplorer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
Hugh Manatee sparks internet meme, childrens book, Fark headline
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 729: "Tiptoe Through the Tulips 2'". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 24, 2019
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
A murderous giant bird is looking for a new owner. Do you have the feathers to take it on?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Satanic Temple recognized by IRS as a tax-exempt religious organization. "Cool" tag because there is no "Hot as Hell" tag
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
"Um, I'd say, go where volcanoes are?"
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Traveling to Idaho? First of all, I'm sorry. Second of all, why not stay in the most Idaho structure imaginable?
source: thisisinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in the UK a cop has just been found guilty of assault for using his Taser and pepper spray during an arrest, must now resort to using only harsh language
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Subby's cause of death, one way or another, in five charts
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Non Fark: Please adopt my dog so I don't have to take her to a shelter. Sure I'll give her a home Fark: Ok but you'll need to pay $350 for her. Umm I thought you said you'd have to take her to a shelter? Ultra Fark: I know and I will, so pay up
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
New Jersey Turnpike Authority realizes the commute was going too easily for some drivers and announces plans to fix the problem
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
Boobies
 
Football, bewbs, the imminent destruction of life on Earth - this one's got it all (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
OMG I just won $768.4 million. Lump sum, $477 million. Feds: "Nope, $362.5 million". IRS: "LOL $300 million." Wisconsin: Pbbhhhttt, $264 million. Winner: "FML, ...* sucks*
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Papa's Got a Brand New Bag)
 
 
 
Photoshop this burlap container
source: images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
ROID RAGE: Cesar Sayoc, the man behind the pipe bombs sent to lawmakers blames steroids .. tight underwear
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Prince Philip seen driving for the first time since crashing his car in January. Apparently he was the only one around and the Queen's corgis wanted to go for a ride
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Airline passenger en route to Moscow detained on the flight for hours after drinking rum and cursing
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Fireworks display in downtown Milwaukee Tuesday night was part of marriage proposal
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Yellow pocket angel eggs anyone?
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
CIA want-ad for Russian speakers has garbled grammar, which just goes to show how badly they need Russian speakers
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Body of missing Illinois 5-year-old AJ Freund found. Both parents charged with First Degree Murder
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Redfin)
 
 
 
Fark Unrealty: Christ, it's like a Hallmark/Precious Moments store exploded. No single topic really captures the horror, so, 'Murica
source: redfin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hovering hummingbird
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Lawyer, whose Yelp profile says he's a "personal injury attorney with honesty, integrity," arrested for using a shoe cam to look up a teenage girl's skirt. With "My life is over" mugshot goodness
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Denver Police Department swears in a horse for the first time in history
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"The Night King is the true hero of GoT,' so we should all be rooting for him." Also, this article may or may not include nude photos of Arya. You have to click to find out. Look, just click or the WaPo editors will shoot this dog. CLICK DAMN YOU
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Polly warns a crackhead
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
72-year-old man stabs nephew for taking too long in the bathroom. Wait till he finds out there's no paper left
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Today is Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day, or as Turkey calls it, One Million of Our Neighbors Wandered Into the Desert and Starved For Some Reason That We Had Nothing To Do With Day
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Microsoft blocks the latest Windows 10 update from computers with USB storage, because it randomizes your drive letters. Are they even testing these updates anymore?
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Man stole $150K from mom to buy sex dolls, 150 lingerie pieces. Hopes she will send him to his room without supper
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Who farted, y'all: NYC edition
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Now)
 
 
 
Apparently spraying your DNA on robbers helps to deter them from robbing your store
source: lasvegasnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Peak PEI: In yesterday's provincial election, the sitting Premier was defeated by a dairy farmer whose hobby is taking "glamour photos" of his cows
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Bad: Accidentally showing a porn image during a Powerpoint presentation. Badder: accidentally re-tweeting furry porn to your 1000+followers. TotalFark: You're a school
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
'Good Samaritans' don't usually steal a car crash victim's purse
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
As more of their cylinders came from the mysterious depths of space, their war machines, awesome in their power and complexity, created a wave of fear (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
The WHO warns that inactivity for young children could lead to teenage wasteland
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Caption this woman with car trouble
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Some of the world's first climate change refugees are in A: Kiribati? B: The Maldives? or C: Louisiana?
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
BSA fearful that new laws will bankrupt them as scouts now have longer to consider how scout masters have touched their lives
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Does this shark warning sign in Hawaii look a lot like the California Pizza Kitchen logo?
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Woman tenderly deals with son during argument over homework
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
The Grand Canyon's insatiable appetite continues, sarlacc pit belches approvingly
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Nursing home resident on oxygen tank rolls his wheelchair outside for a smoke, succeeds
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
250 years ago, some guy slapped the cheeks of a woman who had just been beheaded and she gave him an angry look
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Herald-Record)
 
 
 
♪ Ain't no doubt about it - we were doubly blessed ♫ Because we were barely seventy and we were barely dressed ♪
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Well, that's enough internet for today (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
That's a negative ET, the pattern is full
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this musical monk
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday, a boy gets adopted on the same day his family adopts a dog: "I was adopted and now I'm ready to do it for him"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
H&R Block co-founder Henry Bloch dead at 96. Mourners can come pay their respects in person, or for $19.95, they can have 75% of their respects paid immediately
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Public health officials confirm blood-sucking 'kissing bugs', which are fond of biting faces, are now in Delaware. Sleep tight Delawareians
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Zimbabwe pastor kisses evil spirits goodbye, says he got the idea from watching Richard Dawkins on Family Feud in the 1970s
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"We're unhappy with the noise of the airport and quite frankly tired of it," says family who willingly moved into a home near an airport
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Footage released of cop shooting unarmed black couple as they sit singing in their car, and then running away gibbering in fear
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Victory during an air combat training exercise undoubtedly tastes sweet, but actually shooting your wingman down is generally frowned upon
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
First pharmaceutical company accused of oversupplying opiods has given up in court, will pay $20million to avoid jail. "Intentionally violated federal narcotics" shipping opioids to pharmacies knowing it was for illegal use. Other dominoes line up
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Dear Amy: I was a terrible a**hole in school and treated people horrible. Why can't people just forget about all that at our reunion?
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Good news, vapers. Not only do you smell like nasty pancake syrup, those huge clouds of vapor are contaminated with bacterial and fungal toxins
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Fugitive that escaped an Austrian prison 10 years ago turns himself in because he was sick of living in a tropical paradise
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southern Poverty Law Center)
 
 
 
Dildoan on the run
source: splcenter.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
If you give a bird a cookie a jailer will lose his job
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canada releases a fabulous new loonie to celebrate LGBTQ2 rights
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVY Dothan)
 
 
 
Alabama finally has something to be proud of
source: wtvy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 23, 2019
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Powerball winner in Wisconsin comes forward to claim $768 million prize, says he's 'ready and knows how to say no'. Just wait until he has to say no to all of his 34,968 family members who will come out of the woodwork
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Fire crews rescue man who may have been lost in sewer 'for days' - "it was a pretty crappy experience"
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Central Maine)
 
 
 
One way they can tell if you're drunk when you leave the bar is if you drive away with two vehicles
source: centralmaine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The FAA makes it official: Google now has its own air force
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
That new McTequila is one hell of a drink (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I'm not crying, you're crying. Now go call your mom
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Woman murders husband for watching porn. Subby deletes browser history (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
One area in life where you should never seek "discount" services: plastic surgery
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Woman wakes up after 27-year coma
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you're going to break into the governor's mansion, make sure you're well rested first
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Giving up
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop the elusive "Please Do Not Touch" plant
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
Bear: "so I enter a few houses. Big deal. So now I get the needle? Man this is some bulls*** man. For real"
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Slashies" is the new trend for people working two or more jobs, though you need at least three of them to be taken seriously
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Country inches closer to measles record. USA USA USA
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
"A Florida man's car was stolen with his son inside. He chased the car for five miles, then shot the thief"
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Monster 2,000kg great white shark loses bloody struggle with big sea turtle after biting off more than he could chew (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The second of three men convicted in the 1998 dragging death of James Byrd in TX is scheduled to die tomorrow. Fark: over the objections of many of Byrd's relatives who say they've forgiven his killers and don't want him to die
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Middle Eastern man crucified. Prepare for Followup tag in three days
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sit Ubu, sit. Good cubicle worker. *Woof*
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bend Bulletin)
 
 
 
Scientists asked artificial intelligence to create a new game. AI: "OK...hmmm, let me see. Uh, how about exploding Frisbees?"
source: bendbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this archaeological find
source: cbsnews3.cbsistatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
You know it's not your day at the beach when your tan lines are replaced by tire tracks
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Airline vows to crack down on A: Maintenance issues, B: Poor pilot training, or C: Flight attendants taking snacks home
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
The Florida man who said he was defending a woman while fighting in an Easter bunny costume and not a violent person is a fugitive wanted for armed robbery in New Jersey
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Rub'n'KraftTug video is coming. Arguably the worst Kraftwerk album ever
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Coachella puppy dumpster dumper arrested". Man, the acts at the festival just gets weirder ever year
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Philippines close to declaring war on Canada over garbage. Rochester NY seen whistling, looking suspicious
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Nebraska man's rapid heartbeat stabilizes after his ambulance hits a pothole. Which shows the road to recovery can sometimes be plagued by poor maintenance
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Their ongoing, obsessive search for their most holy of food items has led to the explosion of a potentially crippling disease now tearing through Millennial ranks: Avocado Hand (graphic image warning)
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Why you shouldn't put garlic in your vagina
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
While wearing a biohazard suit and beating them with a large trout would be subby's suggestion
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Drug testing proves two politicians are assholes
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Washington State passes 100% clean electricity legislation. But I was told power corrupts
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this night class
source: blogs.vsb.bc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"This was supposed to be a story about a bizarre anti-vaccine rally and a sedated bear. Then it got weird"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
If you lost your leg in a 'freak skydiving accident' maybe you should put a tether on your $15,000 prosthetic when you jump out of a plane again
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Mississippi, the only state with a Confederate symbol in its flag, is offering a new flag design on license plates. Let's come up with a slogan to go with it
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
You'd think no one would be interested in a winery event where you drink wine with alpacas. But you'd be very wrong
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Prediction from 1981: San Francisco would become a city where only the elite could afford to live
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rare.us)
 
 
 
Unicorn armpit hair
source: rare.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you're going to secretly film underage girls showering on your boat, maybe you shouldn't name it "Yachts O' Trouble"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Drug addict breaks jaw in bar fight. Insurance sends him a check for $33,000 for his medical bills. He proceeds to do what addicts do with a crapload of money
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Wedding photographers can tell when a couple is destined for divorce by how much country music they play at their reception, if they have to photoshop a smile on the groom's face, and by if one of them force shoves wedding cake down the other's craw
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(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this falling fellow
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Sri Lanka bombings were in retaliation for the New Zealand mosque attacks. So I guess that's all settled then and we won't have to worry about any more of this shiat happening
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Man does a Google search for his childhood best friend, freaks the F*CK out by what turns up
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Cuyahoga River is a constant blaze due to pollution. New hotness: Cuyahoga River has made a remarkable comeback in the past half-century and has been named River Of The Year
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Inside the "Ikea effect" - which says we are willing to pay more for stuff we have to put together ourselves. Here comes the science
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mom to 7-year-old son: "OK, now you be a good lookout while grandma shoplifts." Boy fails, grandma gets caught, and mom comforts crying son. Just kidding, she punches him in the face for being a bad lookout
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Neigh means neigh, moo means moo, baaad means baaad and cluck does not mean fluck
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(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Environmentally astute man robs service station wearing recyclable shopping bag on his head ...not so astute when he pulls it off to put his loot in it
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWCH Wichita)
 
 
 
This is how it's supposed to work
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
Blowtorches can't melt oak beams
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
In this age of rampant governmental abuse of power it's good to know a court finally ruled meter maid tire chalking unconstitutional
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Motorcyclists really should wear helmets because who knows when buzzards will go for fresh meat
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Elderly couple return to church after 75 years to renew their vowels. Vanna White looks good for her age
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Just so you know, two motorcycles can legally share a lane side-by-side a la Ponch and Jon, but no more than two. Three is right out
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
A Skyscraper in the Philippines had an orgasm and it was caught on film
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 22, 2019
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
OK, but next time, I run the scam and you dance
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man's homemade pipe bomb simultaneously fails to stay in yard, be a bomb
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(MLive.com)
 
 
 
I got 99 problems, but a light pole ain't one of them
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Wire)
 
 
 
Old and busted: "We don't want guest speakers we disagree with to come to our college." New hotness: "We want you to fire any faculty we disagree with"
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(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Shoving your head in a brick is no way to get through life, dog
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Man wearing "be a good human shirt" isn't
source: fox5atlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it. Who was the grandest lady in the Easter parade?
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Skipping breakfast? Oh you better believe that's a myocardial infarction
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Irreplaceable piece of aviation history crashed into a California State Prison in Norco today killing the pilot. The original flying wing prototype the Northrop N9MB was lost but thankfully no one on the ground was hurt
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Amazon wants to get you drunk
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(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these power line workers
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(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) continuing to swing through the alphabet with song titles starting with "E"
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(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
Restaurant closed for weekend due to laxatives on pizza. Well that was a shiatty thing to do
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Drinking liquids without added sugar linked to lowered sugar intake. Water is wet. Sugar is sugary
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Boeing awarded $605M for Air Force's comm. satellite. In related news, communications from Air Force bases has been lost
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Gen X gets screwed again, says "whatever" and goes back to silent contempt of Boomers and Millennials
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(Metro)
 
 
 
Britain has been coal-free for four days and has managed to survive just fine
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Another nut with a gun, in a church on Easter. This one involved a shipmate of subby's son as one of the heroes
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(Insider)
 
 
 
There are 61.24 million married couples in the U.S. and Ashley Madison now has 60 million users. I submitted this from my hotel room after your wife left
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The old saying 'know your audience' is never more true than when exposing oneself
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: Choose any U.S. state flag and make it look better. This shouldn't be hard
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
The problem with using dating sites to meet potential victims is that police can find you on those dating sites
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Moist's story is all wet
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
The heaviest drinkers in Australia consume more than half the alcohol in the country, despite the heaviest drinkers in Australia making up only 53% of the population
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(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
特斯拉在一個餅乾上爆炸聖潔的廢話
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(CNBC)
 
 
 
Among the 290 people killed in the Easter Sunday attacks in Sri Lanka, were 3 of the 4 children of Anders Holch Povlsen, a billionaire who is Denmark's richest man. The bombers may end up hoping it's the authorities that catch them first
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Baby emerges true victorious champion of violent domestic ax battle between four. Do not mess with baby
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
That classic ice cream truck song? Well, it's super racist
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Researcher to teen: You know you are vaping nicotine? Teen: No way. Researcher: Way.
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(Quartz)
 
 
 
You think YOU have a tough job? Try being Notre Dame's insurance adjuster
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(Some Crowley)
 
 
 
Psssst...wanna buy a cursed house on the shores of Loch Ness?
source: cultofweird.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The so-called 'ringleader' of a hate crime that killed a black man in Jasper, Texas in 1998, by tying him to a truck and dragging him over 3 miles, causing his death, is scheduled to be executed
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(TownNews)
 
 
 
Caption this TV repairman
 
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
If you gave every American a blank map of the United States featuring only state and county lines but no other markers, the majority could not place a dot on it within 50 miles of their own home's location
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(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Bad: Teacher accused of molesting student. Worse: Teacher is HIV positive. Fark: Teacher hires a hitman to kill the student and his family
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(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
FDA approves first generic naloxone nasal spray, which will be "The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, aching, coughing, stuffy- head, fever, shallow breathing, confusion, lessened alertness, and loss of consciousness so you can live medicine"
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Telegraph_US)
 
 
 
It was more than 100 years ago that Sgt. William A. Butler was declared a "hero among heroes" in war. So why wasn't he ever awarded the Medal of Honor? It's a mystery that will likely never be solved until about two seconds after you see his picture
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(Daily Star)
 
 
 
If the CIA aren't catching as many terrorists as you'd like, it's because they're busy checking up on Jesus's UFO and the End Of Days etc (possible nsfw content on page)
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(Some Guys)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Tissot drawing
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(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Florida woman fights Florida man, gets Easter Bunny as backup
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(CBS Baltimore)
 
 
 
Ten year-old Maryland girl born without hands wins handwriting contest. "I just try my hardest"
source: baltimore.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
There are good cops. These are not them
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Headline: "North Carolina Man Accused of Shooting Two Children in Road Rage Incident." Article doesn't explain why those kids were driving or why driver did not just give them a timeout at the next rest stop
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(Guardian)
 
 
 
The Men on Magic Carpets should have spent more time with the Men who Stared at Goats[CARRIER LOST]
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If there were a great beyond, somewhere in its depths Darwin would be masturbating furiously at this scene
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Two dead in Texas after a plane crash at Shirley Williams airport. Yes, I am completely serious
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook