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Sun April 21, 2019
(Beaver County Times)
 
 
 
Beaver County continues population decline. Please, won't someone think of the lonely beavers?
source: timesonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Truck driver simultaneously falls asleep and takes a dump on freeway
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Hill Country)
 
 
 
Photoshop kettle house
source: texashillcountry.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Second grade teacher says the quiet part aloud. Well, in writing, actually (possible NSFW content on page)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Sit down and give a little wave. Queen Elizabeth turns 93 today
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
Old hotness: "I moved next to an airport. It's loud close the airport." New hotness: "I moved next to a 150-year-old university. I'm going to use its quad as a dog park. If they don't like it, the university should move"
source: verysmartbrothas.theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Unemployed mother of three receives suspended sentence for stuffing cheese down pants. The judge sensed some gouda in her
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Oh sure, THIS sign you actually pay attention to
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
God, people are farking stupid
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Furball of fury
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stamp licker
source: static.standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Not news: Mechanic gets fired for running errands. Might be news: He was driving a customer's car. Probably news: The customer's car got stolen. Now it's news: by the unhappy customer
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
"911, what's your emergency?" "Can you bring me some McDonald's?" Fark: It worked
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Well, hopefully it doesn't lead to a sudden decline in population
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
"No puedes encarcelarnos a TODOS, ¿verdad?"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Momma always said don't be a porn star if you want to keep your day job
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
Flying down the freeway now, thinking that you're foolproof, all at once you're covered with glass, Pop goes the sunroof
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inhabitat)
 
 
 
Photoshop this camera obscura
source: inhabitat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: What's in your Easter basket now that you're grown?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VT Digger)
 
 
 
Chemistry professor includes question on exam asking students to calculate the lethal dose of hydrogen cyanide -- the gas used in the Holocaust. Fark: a year after a "humorous" question about the Ku Klux Klan. Yeah, he's been placed on leave
source: vtdigger.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
FFS, this shiat never stops: Sri Lanka Edition (warning: graphic images)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Students today will never know the simple joy of clapping chalkboard erasers, making ashtrays, or getting hit with a ball during dodgeball
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
The last of the Great American Hobos
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
In the 1960s hospitals encouraged new mothers to not allow visitors to sit on the hospital bed, only smoke when the baby was out of the room, and avoid eating green coconut cake
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Church attendance in the U.S. has declined over the last 20 years
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Go to a party in Mexico and a Dothraki wedding breaks out
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Da Yooper)
 
 
 
Michigan man: "The laws of nature say I don't need a license to hunt deer." Michigan jury 10 minutes later: "Tough, the laws of Michigan say you do"
source: yourdailyglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Just because you were caught digging up a 100-year-old corpse to lick the bones and then boil them and drink the water, that's no reason to hide your face
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Boy reported missing near Crystal Lake. Ch-ch-ch, ah-ah-ah
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
I see you changed something... New haircut? No, new shoes? You're the Blue Angels, so it must be the new plane
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Topeka zookeeper attempts to feed tiger, succeeds
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 20, 2019
(Hot Air)
 
 
 
Rather than address the homeless situation, Seattle hires PR firm to help improve city's image. Problem solved
source: hotair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Oklahoma woman offended that people think she married a dead child, when she only married a zombie doll
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
In a trend that no one wanted, car makers are reviving the long-dead tiny pickup
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Diabeetus)
 
 
 
Photoshop this candy bonanza
source: i.ytimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Grand Rapids is considering whether to criminalize the Barbecue Beckys
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
FDA approves first medical device of attention deficit disorder. Cost of fidget spinners expected to increase 5000-fold
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Man in a Suitcase)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lock
source: luckyretail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Illinois State Journal-Register)
 
 
 
Illinois considers banning redshirting kindergartners but worries those little student-athletes may leave for the pros before graduating
source: sj-r.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Want to impress everybody on social media with photos from your exotic vacation, but can't actually afford an exotic vacation? Good news
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Happy 4/20, everyone. How do you plan on celebrating? Here are fourteen fun ideas if you're too baked to come up with your own
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Twenty years ago, two kids with easy access to powerful firearms killed 13 people. America reacted with horror ... and then went on about their business, doing nothing to stop the next one ... and the next one... and the next one... and the next one
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The RAIN in Spain falls mainly on Brits without a brain, who chose to vacation overseas for Easter holiday while the home islands bask in Spanish-style sun. 'Best get yer wellies out spanner'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Look, I know there's this whole Mueller report thing, and Brexit's still barrelling on, but you can forget all that boring waffle. Someone slipped a real chicken nugget into a pack of vegetarian cocktail sausages. 'scuse me, I have to go throw up
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this adventure
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"We're in international waters. We're exempt from your laws." "We have guns. Argument over"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Parents sue son's "intolerant" private school for suspending him for intolerance
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
"Being a open shelter means we don't say, 'Oh, that cat's too old, that cat's too sick, or that animal is too anything. We just say 'We can take that animal, bring it to us next Tuesday at ten and we will take that cat'." Welcome to Caturday
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Carni-brawl
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Big marijuana wants to be as dangerous as big tobacco
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
Ever wonder how the first slave in the American colonies came to be? Well, wonder no more
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Meteorologists track storms on maps and they show maps to people who are gonna die, but people who are gonna die can't read maps
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Fraser Island dingo thwarted in attempt eat a baby, may have to settle for tossed salad and scrambled eggs
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
High school senior lights prom-posal on fire in driveway, forcing middle-aged newscasters nationwide to make excruciating "This is LIT" puns on-air
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Red Rover, Red Rover let Measles Passover
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cops can do this?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
One of the added benefits of a doggy cam is you get to see the strange man showering in your apartment before trying on your underwear and high heels
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
PEEPshow contest uses the iconic marshmallow Easter candy to make very cool works of art and change the way you look at them, forever
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 19, 2019
(CNN)
 
 
 
How big of an asshole does one have to be to get removed from dating apps Tinder and Bumble? *clicks link* ahh well that makes sense
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Having a hard time teaching your kids about death?Get them the Lego Funeral Set
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sauk Valley News)
 
 
 
Orgy parties result in outbreak of gonorrhea in small Illinois town
source: saukvalley.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Utah decides that police must have a warrant to look at your naughty bits
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Driver uses gun to foil car thief. Oh, wait, that's not it. Car thief shoots driver with driver's own gun
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gulf Live)
 
 
 
It's not often you stop at a rest stop, and then get tired
source: blog.gulflive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston 25 News)
 
 
 
Five year old boy that was thrown over a railing at Mall of America makes "small steps" toward recovery
source: boston25news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Heywood Jablome
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
Weeners
 
Naked man burglarizes Little League concession stand, snatches wieners
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
How not to alert the world to the fact that you just got high
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Post)
 
 
 
As God is my witness, I thought Easter eggs could fly
source: christianpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this drab loft apartment
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Middle school teacher notices two girls acting "hysterical" in class, completely understandable since they lost their "Private info" plans to kidnap, murder nine people
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Remember, state offices will be closed April 22nd because of Easter Monday, known in Alabama as Confederate Memorial Day
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Five human hearts found in a downtown Chicago alley. Mola Ram wanted for questioning
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Good news, gang: the Notre Dame bees survived
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Woman accused of sending a man more than 159,000 text messages after a single date - including death threats and her desire to bathe in his blood, doesn't understand why she is in jail
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cleaning crew
source: images.theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLTV New Orleans)
 
 
 
Man shoots generator thief, reducing capacity to steal
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Pieces of Paul Revere's handcrafted silverware now on display in Florida, including a coffee pot, soup bowls, beer mug inscribed "To my drinking buddy Samuel Adams"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
Israeli school children find a 1,600-year-old gold coin, all disappointed that it won't work as a Chuck E. Cheese token
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
If you make between $77,850 and $98,150 per year then you qualify for subsidized housing in San Diego
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Public housing in Baltimore has improved so much over the last couple of years that now almost 50% of units pass inspection
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
After realizing they made the wrong voting choice, most will try to bury their head in the sand and forget it ever happened. Then there's this guy
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this cool sport
source: netdna.coolthings.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Best to slow down in this "SCOHOL" zone
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Between 2011 and 2018, San Francisco's homeless population has remained pretty much constant. Public pooping incidents? You'd better believe they're up 400%. Damned tech bros
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
If your water jug isn't pouring well, use your lighter to soften it so you can bend it into a better shape
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
A hurricane unraveled into the shape of a dong and is about to hit the state shaped like a dong. LGT 9am radar capture, stay safe Farkers
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox2 Detroit)
 
 
 
I think there's something on the roof, can you go check?
source: fox2detroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"I'm an ignorant, uneducated jackass" is no longer an acceptable reason to opt your child out of measles vaccination in Washington state
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this video game controller
source: picclickimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
430-pound American who "forced flight attendants to wipe his bottom while he moaned with pleasure" dies in Thai resort famed for hookers. His family said, "He died doing what he loved"
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bobcat attacks golfer on Connecticut course. Would not play through again
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Maine partners with outdooring startup Tentrr, announces 10 new glamping sites will go online this summer, because when you think celebs living and shopping it up in the great outdoors, you think Maine state parks
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
World Press Freedom Index releases its yearly report: the US is #48 and dropping into the Problematic Bracket, will face #17 Luxembourg in first round
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Students at London school eat hash cakes baked by fellow student, and three are hospitalized. Student unlikely to be expelled, as the only alternative on the lunch menu was British food
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Arizona police officer faces assault charges after using his fists to tell Walmart shoplifter to "Get a brain, Moran" over 100 times
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Thanks to scorching Greek winds, Britain will enjoy a hotter Easter weekend than the Canary Islands or Malibu. And for the first time in a long time, Brits will fire up the BBQ to steam some burgers
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Rocked by alcohol-related scandals, Japanese airline industry gets back on solid ground as top JAL manager gets arrested for hiring underage prostitute
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
This business will get out of control, Good Friday edition
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
In an apparent bid to earn himself free room and board for a few years, former mansion owner burns down foreclosed house
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Used cooking grease thieves are getting fat
source: theworldnews.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
Car goes off road, smashes into tree - and the tree walks away. Wait, that's not it. *Tree* goes *on* road, smashes into car - and the *driver* walks away
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Michigan motorists warned of gas stations slashing prices after razor blades found hidden in gas pump handle
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Excuse me, KIND SIR. My name is Walter Onnoghen, former Chief Justice of Nigeria, and I need your godly and valuable assistance to transfer a large sum of money
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Ten high school students charged with imitating "Animal House"
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 18, 2019
(Funny Or Die)
 
 
 
In America, leaving a party and passing out drunk in a stranger's house will get someone killed. In Scotland, it'll get you a gentle wake-up with a cup of tea and a cigarette
source: funnyordie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Living on the high seas sounds fun, unless it's like this
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Splinter News)
 
 
 
If your deductibles are rising eight times faster than wages, you might be an American
source: splinternews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Bike lanes are car magnets
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
You can't keep a good Dik down
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Home remedies to avoid: #58 - Using a spoon to dislodge a fish bone stuck in your throat
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
Never mind the article - what the hell is going on in this picture? Is Finland's right wing made up of literal supervillains?
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Hey Florida Man: If you're going to pull over vehicles while impersonating a cop, make sure you don't pull over a real cop. Jailarity ensues
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bacteria
source: cdnph.upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mumps outbreak at Indiana fraternity promises fewer dudebros born in coming decades
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Fire at Notre Dame Cathedral likely caused by electrical short circuit. Newton Crosby unavailable for comment
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
From camera found in bear droppings: Snowboarders record video of interaction with bear cub
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Here's a high five for you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
National Enquirer sold for $100 millions so it can hang out at airports
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dilapidated town
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
And now for something completely different: A NJ dentist's sexy lawn display that's not only controversial but also philanthropic
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Corado Corado arrested arrested for for child child porn porn
source: fairfaxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGUN 9 Tucson)
 
 
 
Man arrested for trying to find buried treasure left behind by gambling executive Ted Binion in his yard, vault, smoker, BBQ oven, fallout shelter, drainage ditch, etc
source: kgun9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
A giant robot helped keep Notre Dame standing during the fire, although it was presumably only there looking for Sarah Connor
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
The future of sex robots is here - fake feet with built-in privates (NSFW)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
We built this city on (checks notes) monster turd-bergs (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
The Florida teenager who was arrested last month for attempting the 'RKO; wrestling move on his principal, has been arrested once again - this time for trying the finishing move on a plastic alligator at a mall
source: kfiam640.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
You can now thank Florida for blood-sucking worms. Oh, and they're spreading
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Realtors, having tried everything else to sell property, are turning increasingly to sex ballet (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this cyclist and the devil
source: timeto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Want to be happier? Turn off your TV and put away your phone. Don't you feel happier already?
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Man sleeping in dumpster ends up in trash truck missing his leg
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Mum pranks daughter with cheeky 'Pornhub payment' bank transfer reference after giving her a tenner
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If your computer visited Google recently, it may have been exposed to measles
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
Hundreds of naked people to descend upon NYC for art project. As usual New Yorkers won't notice a thing
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Summer in the midwest is gonna Suuuuuuuuuuuuck
source: wolfradio933.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Old? Starting to forget things? Just wear this hat made of magnets, and voila -- normal memory restored
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these painted pebbles
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Security guards stop a member of the bridge-and-tunnel contingent inside NYC's St Patrick's Cathedral with full gas cans and lighters. Subby is sure he had a good excuse
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Oh noes, the holy bees of Notre Dame may have gone to honey heaven after the inferno
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MIPT)
 
 
 
Im steuk tü my stol. ïm så väry skård. Hjälp
source: mipt.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A podcast about the Dildonian first family
source: longreads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Anti-bail group posts bail for man accused of spousal abuse, who allegedly promptly goes home and kills his wife. Anti-bail group says "no one could have predicted this tragedy"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Confirmed: Commodore committed commode contravention
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCBY Coos Bay)
 
 
 
No
source: kcby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
If extraterrestrial life visited NYC, would anyone even notice?
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Oh hail no
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJRT)
 
 
 
The Michigan Department of Environmental Quality announced a $77.7 million loan to the city. Interest will be zero percent and 100 percent of the principal will be forgiven, effectively making it a grant. About. FARKING. Time
source: abc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're translating the words "Alcohol Free" make sure you translate them in the correct order
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 728: "To a 'T'". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 17, 2019
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
The Sheriff said, "Often, the only way can we can identify a residence that is making meth is when they blow themselves up"
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"I took that bat and hit him upside the head like 'pi-yah!' He said 'Ow!'"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTNV Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Las Vegas is #1 in something that absolutely nobody is surprised about. It may be the desert, but make sure you wear a raincoat when you go out
source: ktnv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hutchinson News)
 
 
 
Kids, ages ranging from 8 to 11, accused of making Pretty Prairie a little less pretty
source: hutchnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Maybe now they can afford a file folder
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
One of the divers who rescued the boys trapped in a Thailand cave is, say it with me kids, trapped in a cave
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Step 1: insert coal. Step 2: make diamonds. Step 3: trade for drugs
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
U.S. government continues its winless streak in court cases involving Guantanamo "military tribunals," otherwise referred to as sovereign citizen authoritarian play-acting
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
Would you like your antibiotic superbug extra crispy or spicy?
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Israeli stewardess in coma after contracting measles. She was only vaccinated with one dose instead of two, possibly to reduce the risk of autism
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Deadly duck-eating piranhas found in Yorkshire, England lake. Authorities say humans could be next, especially if they're dressed in a l'orange sauce (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Wanabe Houdini's skeletal remains found chained to a tree two years after he disappeared. Geoff Peterson is wanted for questioning (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: What I learned at the petting zoo
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Moops. MOOPS
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snow thrower
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
That's one hot religious cock
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
When you clean out your attic, you find 10 years' worth of old National Geographics. When this British woman cleaned out her attic, she found a locked wooden box which held a ring containing Charlotte Brontë's hair
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Face it, women may hide their infidelity better than cheating men because of their faces
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
National Parks are free on 4/20, and I'm sure everyone will adhere to the rules on not bringing drugs into the parks and just enjoy nature
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sixty health professionals - doctors, nurses, pharmacists - in five states charged with fraud for exchanging opioid prescriptions for drugs and/or sex. At least it wasn't a lot of pills; "just one for every man, woman and child" in those states
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
It's fun to expose yourself at the Y-M-C-A
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
MTA figures out how to save $500M on 2nd Ave Subway by using 1970s tunnel. The challenge now: devise a drilling method that gets through piles of compacted cocaine, 8-track tapes and smoking jackets
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
If you're going to turn yourself into police, get rid of the meth first
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Like tall ships? Like tall ships in water so polluted an atheist could walk on it? Like having your faux historic photos of tall ships ruined by a large rubber duck? Then come on over to lake Erie for the Tall Ships festival this summer
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
TSA's nude body scanners sound the alarm if anyone attempts flying while black
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these typing teens
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Congestion Pricing Is Coming to New York. New Jersey Wants Revenge." Subby watched The Sopranos thoroughly, and may leave New York if New Jersey revenge is on order
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Prosecutors say they'll release video of Kraft's services
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Pig brains 'partially revived' after death, because as we all know, the zombie pig apocalypse isn't just gonna start itself
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Montana road blocked after dark by branch-dragging beaver. Deputy jokes the beaver was "on the night shift"
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Florida Woman who made "credible" threats toward Denver schools found dead by suicide at base of Mt. Evans
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Famed bakery chain stops selling "Fentanyl Cake" amid backlash
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
The first Falcon Heavy booster crashed into the sea. The second Falcon Heavy booster landed on the ship, toppled over, and then fell into the sea. Someday, Son, this will all be yours
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISTV)
 
 
 
Finally, South Carolina ranks near the top in something
source: wistv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Paleontologists outraged after finding 68-million year old, rare, and most likely, only baby T-rex fossil in the world. On e-Bay
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Vox banned. Slate editors look around nervously
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
France will hold a contest to redesign Notre Dame's spire
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Your Notre Dame burned down? Don't worry, China has another one
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this chimp with a baby bottle
source: cdn.trendhunterstatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Peru's ex-president pulls a President Clark from Babylon 5
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
The secret to a good marriage: Hire an ugly nanny. [Arnold Schwarzenegger: "it won't work"]
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Ha ha, if you eat a pack of bacon a week you will probably die from bowel cancer. That and be pretty fat dying
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dispatch)
 
 
 
🎵 Tornado time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here 🎵
source: cdispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Washington D.C. learns that vastly increasing housing subsidies to place homeless people in high-end apartments doesn't magically solve all their problems and, as an interesting side effect, also makes life hell for their new neighbors. Whodathunkit?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Atlanta)
 
 
 
The wonderful and good-looking City Council of beautiful and friendly Peachtree City, Georgia proposes to sue anyone who says they're not any of those things
source: fox5atlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Metro Denver-area is like school on Saturday
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
$1 Billion has been raised to rebuild the Notre Dame Cathedral
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
While his wife was in labor, man rants about him "being invisible." "Sat (in waiting room) for 12 hours...never was offered a drink or anything. It was a disgrace and it made me feel quite mad"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Have you found Jesus yet? Seriously, look at this picture and try to find him
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Believe it or not children used to put on their nicest outfits to search for Easter eggs long before GenX ruined Easter Sunday by wearing pajamas all day
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these 27 rocket engines
source: cdn.arstechnica.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Life With Dogs)
 
 
 
Elon Musk thinking of adding Dog Mode to Teslas. Whereas it's always dog mode on Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: lifewithdogs.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
This man had a 86-inch TV mistakenly delivered to his house. Then he went to jail for it
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kens 5 San Antonio)
 
 
 
Hundreds of asylum seekers cross southern border into New Mexico, surrendering to United Constitutional Patriots, all four of them. "I literally walked out and I looked, and all I saw was hundreds of people coming at us"
source: kens5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Inside a White Nationalist cookout. Come for the burgers, stay for the racism
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Cherry Hills Village to officially rename Swastika Acres subdivision. Discussion being held on renaming Aryan Forest, Burning Cross Highlands and Sieg Heil Gardens
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Arizona couple lured day laborer from Home Depot, forced him to have sex at gunpoint. Husband told cops it was a "sexual fantasy scenario"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
How they handle termites in Thailand
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Because 73,000 deaths a year from measles isn't enough, NYC anti-vax moms need to file lawsuits to get the rate higher
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
Eighty-six percent of the Yale class of 2018 graduated with no student loan debt
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida Man explains why he buried his friend in the backyard
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Murky headline of the day comes from the New York Post: "Couple rescued from crocodile swamp after writing 'Help' in mud"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
What exactly it will take to rebuild Notre Dame
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Thirteen years ago today, the greatest Fark thread of all time - OF ALL TIME - was posted. Come join us in a celebration of all that Fark stands for on this unofficial Fark Holiday (LGT original thread)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
There is about to be a legal debate about whether the top debater of a New Jersey prep academy double-crossed his teammates to help a rival elite school on Manhattan's Upper East Side.win. Anybody see Aunt Becky?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 16, 2019
(Outside Online)
 
 
 
Unvaccinatable disease has broken out and is killing us in unprecedented numbers
source: outsideonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 5 Cleveland)
 
 
 
PSA: an iguana does not make a good lasso
source: news5cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
More states are finally moving to allow lottery winners to remain anonymous. Which is good for Subby because his family is still chasing him from last two times he won. The next lottery he wins he will finally make a clean getaway
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
James Bond's grandson must live in TX
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australian man saves very rare unicorn sheep from death by trading two cases of beer for it
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Muskrat, Muskrat, candle light, feeding the town and feeding right, in the evening It's pretty pleasing. Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam, swimming in sherry, out in Detroit Land
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Underage drinking task force turns 20 years old this year. Unclear as to what they will do next year
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Algeria struggling to contain massive, weeks-long anti-government protests. National leaders are considering offering the public an opportunity to make a small investment in the government, and to recruit their friends and family to join them
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Green Beret documents 'allege' culture of drinking, womanizing, wetness of water
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Yes, 911. I would like to report people fornicating on the bike path. Public place sex trifecta in play
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Man shooting at neighbor arrested after four-hour standoff. Meanwhile, subby's tactic of defusing hostage situations with a pants-off-dance-off gets no traction with SWAT teams
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Bath salts. Green lasers from aliens. Then it gets shooty
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
"Truck owner missing after carjacker flees scene with victim inside." Because apparently, if a carjacker can swallow his victim whole, you just let him go
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
"Possibly armed man" taken into custody after barricading himself with two children. Oh, come on, if he didn't have arms how could he have used the children for a barricade?
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Barstool Sports)
 
 
 
.317, great batting average, bad BAC
source: barstoolsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this jet suit
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
New Jersey residents upset at local government employees driving with the state bird
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Japanese unimpressed by latest stupid human trick concocted by a YouTuber to go viral. "Why are idiots always drawn to Shibuya?"
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Hubby been kidnapped? Smoked too much meth? Maybe both? Tune in to the next episode of Florida Man to find out
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Cops hunt middle-aged woman wearing devil mask and wig pouring acid over cars and shoving porn through letter boxes in tiny English village
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
The Ebola outbreak would be a lot worse without a 97.5% effective vaccine for it. No doubt the world renowned chiropractors on your mom's Facebook page know better though
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Man steals cash, spice from Dunedin concession stand
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Why I'm not quitting Facebook yet" TL;DR Stockholm syndrome mixed with sunk cost fallacy
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Beware the Ides of March" updated for 2019: Beware the Emus of Scotland
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Today we've secretly replaced chocolate chips with an unexpected solidified ingredient. Let's see if anyone notices
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Article with headline "Louisiana church fires suspect charged with hate crimes" offers no explanation for why he was working for them in the first place
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tokyo Reporter)
 
 
 
200 grams? Back where I come from, that ain't trafficking... that's "almost out." Spriffy tag is oyasumi
source: tokyoreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
"The last Checker cab took one final fare on the streets of New York City almost 20 years ago, but today, about two dozen remain on the road where they are often used in movies and TV shows. Saving them from extinction is the job of "The Checker Guy"
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Metal bands, pop art, and questionable zoo exhibits - they're all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, March 31-April 6 Lawn Care Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10TV Columbus)
 
 
 
In this small corner of Jesusland, an associate pastor invites children to spit on him, punch him and cut him at an after-school hangout to learn the true meaning of Easter
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Brazilian ATM thieves are fusing dynamite with serious firepower
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Man fleeing police decides the best hiding place is house with "trespassers will be shot" sign. He chose wrong
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
When Florida Man gets into the jewelry business
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fallen biker
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A certain creek in Georgia has been renamed Freedom Creek, because the original name was a touch too racist. You'll have to guess what it was called and click the link to find out because it probably won't work in a headline
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
ISIS sought to get people to embrace its view of Islam. Let's see how that worked out for them
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Armed robber celebrates bring your daughter to work day
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Why did they charge the dog and not the woman?
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
I'm hiring you to help with my neighbor. No, he didn't steal my mower or wife. No, not loud music all the time. No, not a dealer. Look, just take this money, kill him, hang him from a tree and leave a burning cross on his lawn
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Next up in "This is why we can't have nice things," somebody has strewn shards of glass over several hundreds yards of scenic beach in a national park
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Woman drinks beer, and her skin catches fire. Scary tag doesn't seem even half strong enough (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Enid News and Eagle)
 
 
 
Skylab and Space Shuttle astronaut Owen Garriott slips the surly bonds of earth at age 88. Also fathered some Lord British dude along the way
source: enidnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
So just how bad is incest with your aunt, anyway? Slate asks the question. You know, for a friend
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Huge organ saved. Ron Jeremy ok, too
source: pianistmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Cracking your knuckles? Annoying but not harmful. Cracking your neck? A whole different issue
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Notre Dame could be rebuilt in part by A: Generous donations? B: Volunteers? or C: Assassin's Creed?
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Visually impaired man falls onto subway train tracks, strangers pull him to safety just before train arrives (w/video)
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Fox Montana)
 
 
 
Couple pulled over and charged with dry humping in kiddie pool of hot springs resort. Change my mind
source: abcfoxmontana.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Florida has a new plan for crushing all those invasive pythons, and it doesn't include meth, jean shorts, or WalMart
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TownNews)
 
 
 
Caption this comfortable ride
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Grieving family builds roadside memorial to teen killed in car accident so convoluted, so serpentine, so bilious neighbors complain, demand its removal. "It just brings us comfort. You know, talk to Zach and talk to God and do what we need to do"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meet the hero priest who saved the Crown of Thorns from the Cathedral of Notre Dame inferno - who happens to be a hero from other events
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
If you're not smart enough to figure out how to get out of an escape room, perhaps you shouldn't give it a one-star review
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Dog rescued after being found swimming 135 miles out to sea. Looks like someone has one HELL of a throwing arm
source: wben.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Q: When it comes to learning, what's better, the carrot or the stick? A: Yes
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
You break into a sleeping man's house with a machete and fail to kill him, you better have a good story
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colorado Springs Gazette)
 
 
 
The Denver psilocybin initiative aims to make the mushrooms a drug for pain/mental relief and a low priority for police. "It's much more like a cup of coffee. I don't trip"
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
That awkward moment when it's revealed that your quilting circle was really stitching suicide bomber vests
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Here's Patient Zero of the measles outbreak
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Economics 101: When your city is a crime-ridden hellhole, rents are cheap. When your city ceases being a crime-ridden hellhole, rents go up
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
The Marshmallow Peeps have revealed their true self. Command?
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Helicopter parenting. New hotness: Lawnmower parenting
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
And of course, God spared a lowly cross from the Notre Dame fire. No word on why he managed to allow everything else to burn to ashes but the cross is fine, hey everyone it's a miracle
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Zuckerberg's "Really Sorry" Moment of the Week: Leaked documents show Facebook misused user data to fight rivals and help itself and its friends. In other news, we need leaked documents to know this?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
1,000 turkeys killed in fire. Still unclear why they didn't just fly a plane over and dump water on it
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Why were the French firefighters so successful in preventing damage to Notre Dame and its treasures? They've had a protocol in place since the last time it was damaged - during the French Revolution in the 1790s
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(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these puppers
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Drunk women getting busy with each other in broad daylight confuses people passing by in Brisbane (possibly NSFW)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
Boobies
 
Topless protesters try disrupt minister's speech by flashing their bewbs at him. Difficulty: He's gay (possible nsfw content on page)
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(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
I used to accept deliveries, like you, but then I took an arrow to the chest
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(MSN)
 
 
 
Not to panic Floridians but very hungry alligators are invading your streets, homes and pools. Bonus: It's also mating season for them which makes them hungrier because they're more active
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(Business Insider)
 
 
 
The world's 3rd-richest man, Bernard Arnault, pledges $226 million to help rebuild the Cathedral of Notre-Dame, joining other very generous donations helping to save the devastated cathedral
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(NPR)
 
 
 
Nina Totenberg discusses how to discuss the F-word, without actually saying the F-word. (Hint: you can pronounce it yourself.)
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Salma Hayek and husband French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault pledge €100,000,000 to help rebuild Notre Dame Cathedral
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(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
A smoker and her oxygen are soon departed
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(Metro)
 
 
 
Here are the first pictures from inside Notre Dame after the fire. Der Kommisar joke briefly considered for this tagline
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(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
According to Captain Obvious there might be risks involved if you secretly record your boss
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(Metro)
 
 
 
Actual headline: One-legged drug dealer on the run after trying to import 8,000,000 pounds of speed
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(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite rapist lookalike anchor, Marc Brown, celebrates 30 years on the air in Los Angeles
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(Greenwood Index-Journal)
 
 
 
Half-naked woman to police: "I'm taking a shiat"
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(CNN)
 
 
 
"I am lucky to still have all my limbs. I can still be active. I find fuel in the simple idea that I can run. Some cannot"
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(STLToday)
 
 
 
Woman beats the shiat out of restaurant with a baseball bat after being told there was only vanilla ice cream. She then split
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Workers excavating for water lines find evidence of human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together
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(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Man stumped after ex-girlfriend beats him with his prosthetic leg
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(Reuters)
 
 
 
We can rebuild it: we have the technology. Better than it was before. Better, stronger, vaster
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(LA Times)
 
 
 
LA Times wins Pulitzer for probing gynecologist
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Mon April 15, 2019
(DW)
 
 
 
Want your own East German political prison? Town is selling their used one for $336,000 with slogan "Lock up your enemies ... it's Stasi-riffic"
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(Newsweek)
 
 
 
God must be in a really bad mood today
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(Wilkes-Barre Times Leader)
 
 
 
Soliciting the murder of your stepfather is a serious charge that requires a million dollar bail, oh you're pregnant well that changes everything you can go just promise to show up at your next court date
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Smile, you're on candid camera, Chinese dissident edition
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Can London's knife-crime crisis be stopped? This may be a repeat from 1888
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(SacBee)
 
 
 
Today's lesson on how not to avoid police attention while driving drunk
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(Forbes)
 
 
 
It's a crappy job, but someone's got to map the human feces on the city streets of San Francisco
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(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Welcome to Jellyville Beach. Stings are on us
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(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
New Hampshire man fires gun at Ceiling Cat and misses
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(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop Queen Victoria's gown
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(NYPost)
 
Video
 
Mailman asks 'how much is that doggie in the window'. Since this is Fark let's just say doggie responds
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(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Paul's Memory Bank returns tonight (8PM EDT). As for most of us it's Tax Day, there will be two hours of music dealing with taxes and money
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(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Finally, a situation where getting a face tattoo would be worth it (possible nsfw content on page)
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(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
♫ I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty witty and bright And I pity my boyfriend tonight. ♫
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(IFL Science)
 
 
 
Science is mad at you for not peeing in the shower
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(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Open wide, Marylanders who live along I-495 or I-270. Eminent Domain is coming. Toll lanes, too
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(Cyprus Mail)
 
 
 
Greece tells UK it wants to take its marbles and go home
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(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Big Bear bald eagles welcome their first chick. I was told they don't like to be called that any more
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(Business Insider)
 
 
 
"New York is raising subway fares this month. Here's a simple trick to get an extra month of savings." Walk to work? Raid your kid's piggy bank? Steal a subway train and learn to drive it like a maniac, so you fit in?
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(Time)
 
 
 
It has been eight years since the Fukushima nuclear disaster. Officials: Well, I suppose we should start to clean up all this crap
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(WGEM Quincy)
 
 
 
If you ever wanted to know what happened to the Swiss Miss logo girl, she's now distributing meth in Iowa
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(NBC 26 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Wisconsin man rides his Harley through an active factory, dismounts and steals a forklift and continues joyriding until the cops nab him for DUI
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(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
New Jersey bride takes her vows seriously, standing by her husband in sickness, health, and court appearances for getting drunk, sexually assaulting a waitress in a bathroom, and starting a fight with cops
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(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
40-year-old Fukuoka man arrested for stealing used tennis rackets from high school boys' locker room to gratify his fetish for used tennis rackets. "I like the smell of sweat that seeps into the racket handles"
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(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this springtime moment
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(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
"The car is a Ferrari and it goes fast" says arrested Florida man doing his part to not ruin his state's reputation
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(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Seattle breaks rain record. On the bright side, Subby's crop of moss is doing well
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(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Let's check in and see how that new Google fact check algorithm is handling the Notre Dame Cathedral fire. Oh, dear
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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
The suspect charged with throwing a child off the balcony at Mall of America says he went there looking to be an asshole
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(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Niagara Falls memorial service degenerates into alcohol-fueled brawl, one arrested. Bonus: arrestee named "Pleasure Cox"
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In this day and age, if you are going to babysit for someone, you should just assume you are being recorded
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(Twitter Donald Trump)
 
 
 
Noted fire fighting expert Donald Trump weighs in with his opinion on how the Notre Dame Cathedral fire should be attacked; suggests if France had only raked the cathedral, this could all have been avoided
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(Metro)
 
 
 
Jet manages to leave airport without key element
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(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Indian pirates sued by major US company. Fark: for growing counterfeit potatoes that infringe on Pepsi's license
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(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida Man, 71, arrested for vile water pisstol attack
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(Vintage Everyday)
 
 
 
Louis Coulon, the man whose 11-foot beard was a nest for his cool cats
source: vintag.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
(Squeeze) (Squeeze) (Hork)
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(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
France elects new Pope
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(Navy Times)
 
 
 
US Navy gets a brain, Moran. Seriously, this guy is a personal friend of subby's. He's not only an outstanding leader, he's a truly great person
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(MSN)
 
 
 
Dutch doctor fathered 49 children in an IVF scandal, will now get honorary lifetime tickets to any NBA game
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(All Andorra)
 
 
 
Andorra celebrates its 2019 sex fest where it results "in a surprising and special euphoria." They do spell sex a bit differently there
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(Daily Star)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games at the bonfire party with your cardboard model of Grenfell Tower being burnt until you post a video of it online (possible nsfw content on page)
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(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Mom and daughter come home, tackle burglar
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