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Sun April 14, 2019
(Fox 6 Birmingham)
 
 
 
Man shoots himself and his daughter while trying to change her diaper at a Chuck E. Cheese
source: wbrc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Elite Daily)
 
 
 
It's not news. It's on a bender
source: elitedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee falling off a tower trying to capture the perfect Instagram photo
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Civilization was made possible by one secret ingredient
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Squarespace)
 
 
 
Photoshop this horsehair
source: static1.squarespace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Texa$ will $till jail you for unpaid parking ticket$ for rea$on$
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
That's some good shootin' there, Lou
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Colorado Lotto won't pay winner full amount even though the other two winners cheated. Now he hopes to win big in court
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man takes smuggler of the year award complaining of stiff neck but the cops smell something fishy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"Men with beards carry more germs than dogs." Obviously, I mean how many dogs can one person carry? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Confusing signs
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(660 City News)
 
 
 
Lord tunderin', that's a crime-fighting moose, b'y
source: 660citynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Man breaks into electrical substation to conduct theft, electricity
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Evening Express)
 
 
 
"Nightmare neighbour Stella, 82, wore ear defenders while blasting The Laughing Policeman at all hours"
source: eveningexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Indiana has outsourced extradition services. Since this is Fark, you know what happened
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Caption this lady and her sea lion
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Anti-vaxxers think measles is no big deal. Think again
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Petting zoos could go all the way and transmit highly virulent drug-resistant bacteria to visitors. Heavy petters, in particular, are breathless at this development
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
I guess this means we have to go outside and look at nature and stuff
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: That time you didn't get caught
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this horse of another color
source: stalbolsterbos.be   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Get out your shocked face: Police officer won't face charges for shooting an inmate in a holding cell after DA said he was "excused" for thinking it was okay
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Man sues parents because they tossed his valuable porn collection. Father said, I would have done the same if I'd found a huge crack cocaine stash. Son responded, you don't understand, it was my crack collection that you tossed
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicagoans put down the Malort long enough to go crazy over wild turkey
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
Naked man at random stranger's house? That's a bold move, Cotton (w/ yup he's drunk mugshot)
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
CMUpskirts
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 13, 2019
(Carroll Co. Times)
 
 
 
Cyclist surprised when his bike receives unexpected blessing
source: carrollcountytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
About time
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man pulls out a lizard in gas station toilet. Not a euphemism
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
People too lazy to cut up their fruit get punished by The Lord for their sloth
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
If there weren't enough things in Florida that could kill you, someone ups the ante by importing cassowaries from Australia. Brilliant
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop Omak Rock
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man who threw the 5-year-old boy off the third floor balcony at Mall of America apparently considered tossing things off the third floor balcony an acceptable hobby
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
New Jersey autism rates soaring. Anti-vax parents of kids with measles unavailable for comment
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Add golfing while black to the list of things you can't do, thanks to Security Guard Greg
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Dear Mom, The food here sucks. I miss you and dad and the whole family. I miss going fishing with the boys and all. When I get out of here I am going to get a gun and kill the following people: xxxxxxx and xxxxxxxxx. Love, your son Bobbie
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
"Put 'em up...put 'em uuuuuup" and photoshop it
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
If you think you'll get away with a 47-year-old crime because nobody did DNA back then, you might want to avoid throwing your coffee cup away
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man pulls a DB Cooper from American Airlines plane. Alas, the ten-foot freefall wasn't enough to evade authorities
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Stuck in the heart and my friend's to blame. Doctors removed it but I'm still in pain
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Free food and drinks in Baltimore, courtesy of Chris Davis
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Caption this Florida grocery shopping experience
source: static.boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Edition)
 
 
 
"Ghost hunter" claims absolute proof of the afterlife with totes legit, completely unaltered (pinkie swear) "photo" of a ghost that just so happens to be his late grandfather
source: insideedition.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snek
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Eleven Colorado Sheriffs say they would rather go to jail than enforce new state law. Bye, Felicia
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Why did Ecuador give up Assange after seven years you ask? Riding scooters around the embassy hallways, insulting staff, smearing feces on the walls, etc
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Students volunteer to help campus cat colony. Caturday approves
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
The black market "is absolutely thriving," Somerville resident Justin Kuhni, 41, said Sunday outside [a legally operating marijuana store]. "It's way cheaper out there, for a better product sometimes"
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Canada's legal THC experiment is "going well"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
When you enter the suburbs, you enter the food chain, but not as the top kitty
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Great Granddad was not the monster everybody thinks, writes Brayden Hitler
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Woman who 'has to pee' steals truck from city employees. Uh oh, urine trouble
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
There are some sick farkers out there, but this one might just take the cake
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Surprise, surprise: 20-year-old raising FIVE kids, gets handouts
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
German cops order golden Porsche off the road for being too shiny. For intervening, police win gold meddle
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 12, 2019
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Uh, the $14 Billion upgraded levees that should have provided years of protection to NOLA will be inadequate in oh, about four years or so. Our bad
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Small towns without websites or online bill-pay. New Hotness: Small-town mayor sets up own website competing with city site, with his own payment links, made-up meeting schedules, and 100% more photoshops of him with flags and eagles
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Suck it, haters: Bold, progressive California might be ending the scourge of miniature hotel toiletries, which are unclean unto Mother Gaia
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
OK boys, time to line up for your mandatory annual penis inspection
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crain's New York)
 
 
 
The history of mail chutes, which are still being used and still backing up like when you eat too much red meat
source: crainsnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
If you construct homemade gun from Internet instructions, never fire a warning shot at your kid's feet while arguing. It just puts off the disagreement until you get out of jail
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
Boobies
 
Edinburgh woman who runs a 'naked cleaning service' is looking for new recruits. Hehe they said behind
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQOW Eau Pair)
 
 
 
Surprisingly, a story that contains "a woman was doing karate and a man was naked in the back of the store while their dog ran free" that does not carry the Florida tag
source: wqow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
As a banker, you should always record deposits
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Historians release collection of medical images showing the different ways tobacco has been used since the 1500s, but I think they're just blowing smoke up our asses (NSFWish)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Ah, the annual rituals of spring: short sleeves, walks on the beach, the annual Taliban offensive
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Come on man. Can I have my gun back? I totally won't use it to try to rob your restaurant again
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Now behave at this reform school or you may end up in a "clandestine" grave
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MyRecipes)
 
 
 
Some people say it is a shadow from some of the branches being too close and that there is moss on the tree that could explain it. Certainly I don't believe it's a Mashed Potato Fairy
source: myrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
OK, writing up Julian Assange's embassy stay, as an Airbnb review, someone wins the Internet. "Only planned to stay a few days but wow, the hosts were welcoming so I just kept extending my reservation....checkout felt a bit rushed"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some rsault)
 
 
 
Photoshop this seaside athlete
source: i.postimg.cc   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Life expectancy in different Oklahoma City zip codes can differ by up to 18 years, and that's if you survive the tornadoes
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Couple angry at picket line noise gives cookies laced with laxatives to school employees. Will be sentenced to a year of substitute teaching in a classroom full of trampolines and glitter
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Toddler survives 60-foot fall from apartment, wants to go again
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one before. A Rhode Island fire captain walks into a convenience store naked
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Yesterday: Anti-vaxers "losing ground" in the online debate. Today: Anti-vaxers are winning the war on social media
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Ramona Quimby, Age 103
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Are you a historian who'd be interested in living in an iconic lighthouse located on Lake Superior's North Short? Well, good news assuming you like bears. No, the other kind
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsVideoClip)
 
 
 
Las Vegas school board meeting on race falls apart after board member calls black students 'colored'
source: newsvideoclip.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Your Mom"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Golf Bag)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Crouch
source: as01.epimg.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Man abandons his pet dogs in tiny backyard without food, water, shelter for weeks until subdivision neighbors call cops. Did I say dogs? I meant full grown horses
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
For the record, scavenger hunts don't usually include chasing down women
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
"Never mind that shiat, here comes Lando"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
You'll check a lot of stalking boxes if you climb a former classmate's fence, stand in her yard with a stick and threaten to eat her family
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
75-year-old Florida woman is afraid she is on the Robert Kraft sex tape. Well, whatever floats his boat
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
State of NY: Please don't drive distracted. BWM Owner: You don't own me man
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
"The cat may be social with humans, however Animal Control does not suggest anyone approach or interact with it. This type of cat is known to eat small rodents, such as mice and squirrels, as well as small birds". In other words, a cat
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The greatest F-bombs in New York broadcasting history. And, yes, a Fark favorite is in there. With video
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Think you're protected from the measles outbreak because you got the MMR vaccine? If you were born between 1957 and 1989, think again
source: kfiam640.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Oregon doesn't know when to quit or how to share
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Man comes home, finds crosswalk leading to driveway. "It's ridiculous. It makes no sense. It's one the craziest things you've ever seen," a baffled Matthew Miller said. "I sort of felt like I'd been punked"
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Weekly)
 
 
 
Do you live in Florida? Congratulations, you live near a meth lab
source: orlandoweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
That thunderous metaphysical noise you hear is the sound of one hand clapping as the Dalai Lama leaves the hospital
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
Weeners
 
Forget all the viral epidemics going on around the world, there's a botched penis enlargement epidemic that's hit Papua New Guinea because 500 guys with small ones have their todgers injected with coconut oil
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
⠠⠹⠀⠊⠎⠀⠁⠀⠍⠑⠍⠑
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Parents furious after hospital accidentally shows dong on waiting room TV in Dongguan
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Dubai airport welcomes Saudi jet with water cannon salute. As this is Fark, you can imagine how it went
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
After over two hundred years of military neutrality, Switzerland has decided to declare war on the entire world
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man's 90 year old mom wins $200M+ Powerball. Florida man hires Sal's Powerball Winner Money Guru and Tow Service to invest the funds. A few years pass. $2M a month in fees and some staggering losses. Florida man is now being sued by mom
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Seneca Nation ordered to pay $255 million to New York State as a result of decision by arbitration panel over casino revenues. Expects to make it up before the dinner buffet starts
source: wben.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"I knew it was going to be a pretty wild shot but maybe too close as I was shooting 50mm. When I got up on the boat everyone crowded around the camera in the housing for a quick look and we were all blown away"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Ransomware attack hits Garfield County, demands lasagna, termination of nerm.al protocol
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Kansas couple with 10 kids adopts 7 siblings so they can field football and hockey teams at the same time
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
I'm saddened to inform the community long-time Farker "Solid State Vittles" has passed away. He introduced me to this place. R.I.P., buddy
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Millions awarded to Denver woman falsely arrested, taken to jail, while naked. Department tried to settle the case for $20,000 earlier in the week, but now they owe over $3 million
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Botched microblading procedure leaves woman...oh, oh dear
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
'A former Ponca City High School security guard is charged with asking for and exchanging nude photos with freshman girls, then making alarming threats as an employee at Walmart.'
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Someone in Kingston, Ontario, is trying to level up themselves on dual-wielding perks
source: canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Well, technically Israel got their spacecraft onto the moon
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Scary: Kidnapper tries to drag kid off metro bus. Hero: prevented by good Samaritan. Scary: Kidnapper follows bus in car. Hero: Cops stop car, arrest kidnapper. UltraFark: kidnapper calls for backup, two carloads show up, attempt to intimidate cops (starts in 5th paragraph)
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Just in time for the 154th anniversary of his assassination, you can own the telegram announcing Abraham Lincoln's assassination that is valued at a mere $500,000
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(iNews (UK))
 
 
 
Today's Google Doodle marks 100th anniversary of Bauhaus Movement. Bela Lugosi still dead
source: inews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
You legalized weed and look what happened
source: mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Photoshop this idle activity
source: static.standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Comedian: I'm literally dying up here. Audience: LOL. Comedian: literally
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Do parents have dress codes now?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Ad agency behind Squatty Potty and Poo-Pourri using humor to battle porn addiction in latest project in what may be a rejected Deadpool plotline
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Bugsy entered with a large briefcase. He swallowed the shot of bourbon. "Then he eats the glass. Blood is running down his chin as he's chewing." "Dick, that's my only glass," Pudgy told him. And then it gets [INTERESTING]
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ex Pope Benny and the Jets says it was the Sexual Revolution of the 60s that turned grown ass men who took a vow of celibacy into rampant pedophiles
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It's 2019. Can CNN please stop doing this stupid metal music causes violence horseshiat?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trivago - compare bail bond prices worldwide
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
It appears the Anti-vaxxer herd is thinning
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
What will become of Julian Assange's cat?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Man in mobility scooter falls three floors down elevator shaft. Should have gone for the rocket-pack upgrade
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Foching couple loses bid to keep their neighbors' Foching cows quiet
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
On the plus side, mushrooms are a good option for urban farming
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Gotta love the classics
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Officer to meowing suspect: "How much have you had to drink tonight?" Accused: "Not enough"
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Using taxpayer money to put a voodoo hex on your ex will get you fired and thrown in jail, even in NYC
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Minnesota state trooper demonstrates why the highway is closed
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 11, 2019
(MSN)
 
 
 
The gymnast who injured herself so badly that both Joe Theismann and Kevin Ware would cringe, would like folks to stop sharing the video
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
'An adult club without a name, a bottle of booze and an eye patch lead to a fight that landed a man in jail' This is not an Avengers: Endgame review on Rotten Tomatoes
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
An 80-year-old watchtower near the Grand Canyon will be maintained as a cultural site. "There must be some kinda way outta here," said the joker to the thief
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
No word on the condition of the spider
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are the Mighty)
 
 
 
Tom Lehrer invented the Jell-O shot to get around army base liquor rules then probably wrote a satirical song about it
source: wearethemighty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
93-year-old woman still riding motorcycles after first learning in 1941. 'Her next goal is to ride cross country on two wheels, not three she says, when she turns 100.'
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yum)
 
 
 
Photoshop this frozen custard
source: d1f28u9l1tudce.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Earth to Alps: "It's been ice knowing you"
source: earther.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Eight ways to make your commute more enjoyable: Audio books, meditation, carpooling, .24 BAC, speeding, HOV lane abuse, satellite radio, and podcasts
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Welcome to Walmart. Have a nice epic smackdown, you evil, non-tax-paying global predator
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Jeff Bezos meets with federal prosecutors to discuss National Enquirer extortion, the government of Saudi Arabia, and his penis
source: theslot.jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Florida man with more than a passing resemblance to Matthew McConaughey arrested after being found shirtless, eating spaghetti with his bare hands. Alright, alright, alright
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
You mean it's not OK to leave your four kids alone for four days while you hook up with your boyfriend? This IS Florida after all
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Twenty-one years after "accidentally" stealing a car to go on an emergency Slurpee run, a Canadian man wants to apologize
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
Texas SWAT team uses lasso to take down suspects, force them to tell the truth
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
Video
 
Girl finds big brother in birthday present, reacts accordingly
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Can a felony charge end the career of a YouTube prank star? Cross your fingers
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these dawdling dudes
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Israel to land a probe on the moon, followed by an occupation, then a settlement. Coverage starts at 2:30 PM ET
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
What's more disgusting than watching some beast pick their nose in the seat next to you on a cramped flight? Watching two first class travelers playing a 'sexy game' in their large luxury spaces (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
So you're saying I'm not the lovechild of King Tut and Queen Victoria?
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Owner of Chinese takeaway banned from running any more business after health inspectors failed to see the humour in the restaurant's name. Warning: Icky images on a non-clickbaity slideshow
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston 25 News)
 
 
 
"There were feathers everywhere, there was glass everywhere. It was just a mess," says shaken worker in fifth-floor office
source: boston25news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
One possible reason why the Ecuadorian Embassy had Julian Assange thrown to the wolves: He allegedly "smeared poo over walls of embassy" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Goodnight, Slutman
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
If you're going to poach deer, it's probably not a good idea to stack up all the skulls in your back yard
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NBC New York meteorologist Chris Cimino drops the mic, a hot mic to be exact....then drops an F-bomb on air
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Who will rid me of this turbulent priest
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Woman wanted by police taunts them online writing, "Do you guys do pick up or delivery?? 😂😂😂😂" and since this is Fark you can guess what happened next
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In this week's episode of America's Got Bigots we find Walmart Wendy protecting the jobs of real citizens from people who speak with an accent
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BGR)
 
 
 
Youtube TV tries to emulate the cable networks by adding channels you probably won't watch but with the added benefit of paying more for them
source: bgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
There's crazy, and then there's "crashing a wedding ceremony while wearing your own wedding dress and trying to drag the groom from the altar" level crazy
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
And the final tally of the Minneapolis sex trafficking sting during the Final Four: 58 arrested, 28 recused
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangkok Post)
 
 
 
Italian mafia cancer spreading unchecked through Europe due to lack of vaccinations or something
source: bangkokpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Good news Millennials. The media have discovered they can bash Generation-Z
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Well the options look pretty clear either don't call 911 or don't have kiddie porn
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
In case you weren't aware, the original story of Aladdin is basically porn
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Disney CEO Bob Iger: 'Hitler would have loved social media.' Donald Duck unavailable for comment
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
♪ London Bridge is closed for now, ♪ closed for now, ♪ closed for now. ♪ London Bridge is closed for now, due to critical structural faults ♪
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If you've been waiting for some real in-depth analysis regarding the arrest of Julian Assange, good news -- Pamela Anderson has weighed in with her opinion
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
New analysis of climate change shows that yup, baby boomers pretty much farked everything up for everyone born after them
source: earther.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Gymnast who dislocated both knees in that gruesome video now just hopes she can walk down the aisle in June. Bonus: She already has a job lined up with Boeing as an actual rocket scientist
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Netflix is warning animal lovers who don't actually go outside that nature is sometimes brutal
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania doctor accused of touching patient's penis during ankle exam. 'he allegedly told officers the incident was "a huge misunderstanding, mostly on my part."'
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: Make a knock-off version of a well-known product. Difficulty: No politics
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Christ of the Abyss? I thought that was Cthulhu
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Guess what has been the most common cause of death at the Grand Canyon. Nope, that's second
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman, 33, sets fire to her boyfriend's apartment after he called her a cab after a threesome, but asked the other woman to stay
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Sheriff: We're about to make an arrest in those three church arson cases. Deputy: I'm glad to hear it, What's the address? Sheriff: Your house
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Dog was his co-pilot
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Highway Patrol responds to three naked women at interstate rest stop applying suntan lotion after showering who then flee in sedan. Hilarity ensues
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Ass-rested
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
If you traveled through Anchorage International Airport last August with cremated remains, the TSA has your Grandma in the lost and found bin
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXII Winston-Salem)
 
 
 
Mother protects her 10-year-old from burglar using strategically placed Legos to painfully... oh wait, it says she also used a gun
source: wxii12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSET)
 
 
 
Jesus, you rock
source: wset.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Not Fark: North Carolina deputy breaks up with girlfriend. Fark: Deputy purchases meth and heroin and plants it in his ex's new boyfriend's car in an attempt to frame him
source: kfiam640.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New Jersey teacher admits she sent provocative messages to student. It probably wasn't wise to use her school email address to send them
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 727: "Abstract Thoughts 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 10, 2019
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
The girl from the "flaming house" meme is all grown up
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
News: AMI to sell off the National Enquirer and its other tabloids. Holy screaming farkballs: because the hedge fund manager who controls it is "disgusted" by their reporting tactics. In other news, there's a hedge fund manager with morals
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Seems that missing couple in the Dominican Republic that drank a bottle of Rum with another couple before driving to the airport did indeed drive off a cliff
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
From the Well That's a Neat Trick Department: Man found guilty of driving while on phone despite phone's dead battery and that it was stored in dashboard
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Why do they call it Smuggler's Inn? The answer probably won't surprise you
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: 15 years ago this Friday, Fark introduced you to a strange and wondrous place
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Facial recognition system to identify every person driving into NYC "protects people's privacy", mostly because it doesn't work
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Dear McNair High School parents, It is with great regret we must inform you of the death of one of our teachers in a car accident (leave out this next part) while running from police after having just killed his lover
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this homemade tank
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The list of the countries that Americans are most likely to be kidnapped in is the same list of countries that most Americans wouldn't want to visit to begin with
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
What do Arthur, Atticus, Audrey, and Jasper all have in common?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
What person in Tennessee *hasn't* wanted to steal a Walmart mobility scooter and drive it down the highway to get a coffee?
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
U.S. sails massive, F-35-laden warship in disputed South China Sea, presumably threatening to litter the waters with them
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
Translation: Duke Sucks
source: sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
How the fattest city in America turned itself around: very slowly
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
This just in from the water is wet bureau: We considered that the act of jumping off the cliff was very dangerous, potentially fatal, and consisted of extreme risk-taking behaviour
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Want to lessen your stress level? Be around ugly people
source: amp.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Mark your calendars Friday the 13th 2029. EVERYBODY BEHAVE. Jesus is coming (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vintage Everyday)
 
Boobies
 
You'll put your eye out
source: vintag.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hair mousse-take
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Axe throwing league responds to the "woman throwing the ricochet axe" incident
source: worldaxethrowingleague.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Couple strip, masturbate and engage in lewd behavior on a public bus, get thrown off after getting aggressive with the bus driver too. Arrested later after trying to board another bus because they're not quitters
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
University professor's numberplate no-one will understand supporting a soccer team no-one has heard of ruled 'offensive' by California DMV (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Three million Cailfornians about to learn their REAL IDs are FAKE IDs
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
After the Durham Woods natural gas explosion happened in NJ circa 1994; the United States adopted a nationwide 'call before you dig' program. Durham, NC did not call before they dug. This is Fark so you know what happened. Duke blows
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
One of Fark's favorite bridge webcams shows the shaking caused by today's gas explosion in downtown Durham, NC. Two people are confirmed dead
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"The only way Game of Thrones can end." Warning: Article is written by a WaPo writer who thinks Breaking Bad "whiffed" on its ending, so you might want to take some Outrage Reduction Pills before forcing yourself to read this
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Kareishu. Gesundheit
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
Video
 
Woman goes to ax-throwing venue. Woman throws ax at target on wall. Ax rebounds and comes screaming toward her head
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Church celebrates 150 years by releasing signature beer. "We are not a conforming church in any sense of the word"
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The National Science Foundation is showing pics of its black hole
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Male Primates adopt "badges of status" to make up for smaller gonads, from colorful crests and beards to gold-plated apartments
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Whooping cough still making Cinderella run through the southeastern Anti-Vax bracket, although it will be tough to beat #1 seed Measles
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boulder Daily Camera)
 
 
 
Add "walking with a cane to help with seizures" to the list of things you can't do while black in America
source: dailycamera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Stick-on swimwear is now a thing
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Mmmmmmm.... acidic pork chops
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
154 cases of deadly, drug-resistant fungus in Illinois hospitals. That's it, mushrooms. Subby is done with you
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Geeks of Doom)
 
 
 
George RR Martin confounded by idea that a story can come to a finale in less than a decade
source: geeksofdoom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bozeman Daily Chronicle)
 
 
 
"There's some serious profit in poop," says man who apparently hasn't been locked in a Port-a-John and rolled down a hill yet
source: bozemandailychronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Those missing vacationers might not be so missing
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Game of Thrones is really nothing more than an extended metaphorical warning on the dangers of helicopter parenting. Well, if they had helicopters, I mean. Dragon parenting. We'll call it dragon parenting. Dragons can hover, right?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Oklahoma man tries to steal propane tank at Walmart by stuffing it in his pants, is lucky he didn't end up with grilled sausage
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Man accused of killing chihuahua over "strong magnetic force". Suspect may be bipolar
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Need to liquor-up before late Sunday church service? Virginia has you covered
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Denver police officer caught on camera leaving work early to go to a strip club. Also misused a police database to look up the criminal history of a dancer and two of her associates at the club. A dancer found dead in November
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
NYC threatens $1,000 fines for unvaccinated residents during measles outbreak. Good
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Burglar in woman's bathroom turns out to be Roomba. Cops post mugshot anyway
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Yeah, soooo, I need to make a claim. My car was damaged because a horse mistook it for a mare and tried to have sex with it. Yes I'll hold"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Senses)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ESP test
source: ghostwatch.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
We always knew firefighters were awesome but this is going above and beyond, This is your Woofday Wetnose Wednesday story of the week
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Florida Man goes full supervillain, calls himself "The Saint" and threatens to unleash his army of turtles and destroy the town. Simon Templar unavailable for comment, Terrapin Military Control not answering phone calls
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
They said I had to go to rehab, I said neigh neigh neigh
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Air Force Times)
 
 
 
It's time to turn over the final silver goblet. Lt. Col. Dick Cole, the last surviving Doolittle Raider, has slipped the surly bonds of earth for the last time and reunited with his brothers in the wild blue yonder at age 103
source: airforcetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Police seek information on robbers caught smiling on vertical video
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Missing Japanese stealth fighter found, thus proving the F-35 is not really invisible
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Threatening to turn former workplace into a "bloodbath" pretty much confirms your dismissal for "creating a hostile work environment," dude
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Liverpool Echo)
 
 
 
And the kid would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling eyewitnesses
source: liverpoolecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Colorado to go from 80-degree weather to blizzard-like conditions in 24 hours, a phenomenon Montanans call "springtime"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Jury undecided what to do with thumb thief. They're having trouble getting a firm grasp of the issue
source: kywnewsradio.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Sabotaging the equipment will not make the construction end any sooner
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Sexy mannequin Easter Bunny decorations spark conflict in NJ neighborhood
source: expo.nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSB Radio)
 
 
 
The doorbell camera would probably have been enough evidence, but then there was the Uber driver log showing him taking the homeowners to the airport an hour earlier
source: wsbradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 09, 2019
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
You could just be crying .... or maybe bees are just living in your eyes like this woman [Graphic video]
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Task and Purpose)
 
 
 
The average American serviceperson drinks 130 days out of the year, while the rest of you amateurs only drink 91 days a year. w/bonus vid of Americans drinking Iceland dry
source: taskandpurpose.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Every Farker's dream just came true: introducing Slutbot
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
White local politician crime really does pay to play. Probation and fines will really teach them
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Principal dies after donating bone marrow to teenager. There's probably a joke in there but this just isn't humerus
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
LAPD to scrap some crime data programs to identify those most likely to commit violent crimes. Which turned out to be anyone going into a 7-Eleven after midnight
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
"Myers murdered Beary because he was irritated by a protracted argument over the weight and toughness of German shepherds trained for police work"
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Armageddon. New hotness: Pollmageddon. *cough cough, sniff*
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop Mata Hari
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Police investigating ATM explosion. Eew
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Naked murder suspect arrested after waving gun at Waffle House, is told waitress interviews are Wednesday
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The best way to ensure a year of health, prosperity and rain, is to fling cow feces at each other. Duh
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Thieves keep stealing the wheels from Jackson, Mississippi police cars. Police chief says the investigation has stalled and that they have nothing to go on
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Nobody ever goes missing before their vacation. They always disappear during their vacation
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Motorcyclist killed after hitting wood chipper, you betcha
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
When the flight attendant asks you to turn off your phone before takeoff, you could simply turn it off, or you could drop trou (video)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop this air drop
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Woman files suit against bar because she tripped going through the door. Bar's lawyer: Take a look at this picture, your honor
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
It's been 20 years since a goose almost took out Fabio. So. Very. Close
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mainichi (Japan))
 
 
 
Stealth plane disappears from radar. Well, duh
source: mainichi.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Treasurer of Canada's capital city can transfer up to $25,000,000.00 on her own, but can't recognize an email scam
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Latest thing that poop transplants can fix: autism
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
This YouTuber insists he kissed his "sister" for a prank, but I'm not so sure
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Parents dump gasoline on wet baseball field to 'dry' it out, end up with 15-foot flames, $50K in damage and no games for foreseeable future
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
What seems to be another boring Meghan Markle babywatch article becomes amusing when you discover that someone in the New York Times webpage department had extra time on their hands and a drunk editor. Be sure to click on FAQ #25 and the squirrel
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
What's the big news in PA today? Deer season starts on a Saturday this year
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
♪ What rolls down stairs and under your chair and over Florida Man's Buick? ♪
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(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when your block doesn't get mail for a month because one person can't keep their dogs tied up?
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NYC declares a city-wide emergency over a measles outbreak in parts of Brooklyn. This is not a repeat from 1964, get your farking kids vaccinated
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(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Have a drug debt to repay? Just a reminder, children are not considered currency
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Woman who had been convicted of sex with dogs just robbing banks now, which is probably an improvement (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Scientists confident of cloning adorably chubby extinct horse that will rampage across the land and kill us all, that or teach us that friendship is magic (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
One a penny? Two a penny? Hot cross sums
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
The LAPD is now accepting online reports for minor accidents. That's odd, I didn't know there even was a mining industry in Los Angeles
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Microsoft pairs with major American brewers for artificial intelligence 'beer fingerprinting,' because sex in a canoe is always better with Clippy giving you advice
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Reforming civil asset forfeiture laws is difficult because it's hard to define what "excessive" means when it comes to police taking your stuff. For example, if you have a Land Rover, and the cop really wants it, who's to say that's "excessive"?
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(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
In the same month, Florida man buys an $8 million private island and gets arrested for shoplifting $300 worth of stuff from Kmart
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
So long and thanks for all the fish
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what happens when you hold a fart in? Us neither, and this isn't one of the outcomes we expected (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lense.fr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this whale of a tail
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(Wired)
 
 
 
Set your fapping hand free long enough so you can click on this brief history of porn on the Internet
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 5 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Woman captured on camera gleefully shoplifting from Walmart is already being punished by the release of these security cam pictures
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(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
We used to have universities for people to go to learn and be smart. Now you can go to a university and get the mumps. Innoculate aut mori muta asinae
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Multi-millionaire CrossFit co-founder Lauren Jenai, 47, plans to marry her childhood crush, who is currently in jail on murder charges, and she won't stop talking about it
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(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania man convicted in Russian roulette death gets *SPINS* 3-6 years
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(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Jogging hazards: Shin splints. Bursitis. Severed cow tongues
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Handing out $20 bills and paying for meals at a Waffle House? That's a shooting
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(Reuters)
 
 
 
Colombia's Duque was almost FARCd in the boobies
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Plot Twist
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Lookin' for organs in all the wrong places. Lookin' for organs
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(WBAY Green Bay)
 
 
 
Green Bay police officer undergoes emergency surgery after being stabbed multiple times. To be fair, the officer did bite the suspect first
source: wbay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Man on motorcycle crashes and dies thanks to wild turkey. Fark: Actual turkey
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(SFGate)
 
 
 
San Francisco residents making $300,000 a year are living paycheck-to-paycheck, think $37 avocado toast is normal
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 08, 2019
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
If you find yourself being assaulted by a psychic dolphin, just know that somewhere, Putin is chuckling Sovietly at your misfortune
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
"Travis Perkins depressed my cat"
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
Video
 
Thieves use excavator to withdraw the whole cash machine
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Remember the McDonald's McPickle April Fool burger with pickles as the main ingredient? Some McPickler has actually figured out how to order it
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
55
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(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Vanity license plate applications rejected in Florida include Left Nut, Sno Suks, Des Nuts, Hi Ugly and SXY GRMA
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(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
Good guy with a gun stops a man from kidnapping a young child while she walked to school
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
I bet you didn't think you'd die in a payroll tsunami caused by minimum wage hikes, did you? Well, guess you should've thought of that beforehand
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(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Russia prison chief reassures inmates yoga won't make them gay
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Did you know there's a freight line in the middle of NYC called the pizza-and-beer train?
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(TuneIn)
 
 
 
There will be a substitute host on Paul's Memory Bank tonight (8PM EDT). There's been a lot of deaths in the music industry so fellow host Kenny Pick will be playing some tributes
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(Some Lamp)
 
 
 
Photoshop this monkey light
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(Fark)
 
 
 
Digital transactions, endangered animals, and SCOTUS decisions are all here on the Fark Weird News Quiz, March 24-30 Accept No Substitutes Edition
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(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Hawthorne shooting leaves officer and suspect injured. No word if the gunman will be forced to wear a Scarlet Letter as punishment
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Measles cases hit the stratosphere with record numbers that haven't seen seen since idiots decided that vaccinations were more dangerous than, well, measles
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Department of Natural Resources provides detailed maps for Washingtonians to escape a tsunami. Or they could hope volcanoes concurrently blow and somehow the forces cancel out
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Stanford realizes that while a half-million dollars can buy a lot of boats, it can also buy several boatloads of bad PR
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(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
1,201
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(KWQC Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Midwesterners confounded by zipper merging, not being a douche while driving
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
New Zealand's ambassador to the US goes on trial for putting spy camera down under
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Oh yes, the bees
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Veterans and members of the military are often misdiagnosed or accused of malingering due to baffling symptoms. The cause of their ailments may actually be an accumulation of lead in their bones
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(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these umbrellas
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(NPR)
 
 
 
Robert Caro, prolific biographer of Robert Moses and Lyndon Johnson, reveals why he takes ten goddamn years to write each installment. Depending on who you are and your patience level, this insight might impress you or make you gnaw your fingers off
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(Remezcla)
 
 
 
Taco Truck Tina threatens to call ICE on two women running a taco truck
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(Vail Daily)
 
 
 
Colorado liquor stores feeling the pinch as full strength beer in convenience and grocery stores becomes the reality. Hey, what if I need some Marsala wine
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(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
Win a one-night sleepover at The Louvre. Continental breakfast not included
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(The Courier UK)
 
 
 
Chicken spotted crossing the road at Perth supermarket. Why? Who knows
source: thecourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
'Twas brillig, and the slithy shots / no gyre or gimble could evade / all gunshot were the Mims men / and the Florida Police outgrabe
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(Metro)
 
 
 
Police hunting for two men in Audi who forced driver to mount curb and threw pink cupcakes in fit of road rage. Let's hope they get their just desserts
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(CTV News)
 
 
 
Three-year-old locks parents out of iPad for 25,536,442 minutes
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(Daily Star)
 
 
 
'No swimwear in the pool, ma'am. This is a family operation.' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Slow-moving weather system that generated damaging storms, two tornadoes in Texas, one in Mississippi, to continue moving across Southeast US. Dozen of dollars in damages reported so far
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(CNBC)
 
 
 
Now that Libya is a safe and secu....oh, ooh....that's bad
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
And now, the most "haay girl, let's partay" DUI booking photo evar
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
British Woman caught with mosaic floor tiles that she'd removed from a house in the Pompeii ruins. Unclear at this time just how closely she's related to Lord Elgin
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(ABC News)
 
 
 
Man to co-workers: "Can you take a photo of me at work? I need it for an alibi, uh......in case anything were to happen to my mother"
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(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
High School band director arrested for being too interested in a student's flute
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(PennLive)
 
 
 
$21,000 in Victoria's Secret merchandise stolen so be on the lookout for a box of bras
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(Yahoo)