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Sun April 07, 2019
(CNN)
 
 
 
Eco-friendly prison wins award -wait, what?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN Money)
 
 
 
Health care is so great that Americans spend their tax refunds on it
source: money.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
(Oh, snap) x 2 [Warning: Graphic video and photos]
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
How big should a clam get? As Abraclam Lincoln said, "Big enough for his legs to reach the ground"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop Skillzy
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
With fewer young men in the population, Japanese military recruiters are going after young women and flower boys to meet quota. The fiery redhead, the stoic young man in white, and the flyboy with sky blue hair symbolize army, navy, and air force
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The right to represent oneself shall not be gold-fringed
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Herald-Record)
 
 
 
108-year-old barber takes a weekend off
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good guy with a gun stops a dangerous little girl from turning 11
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
Mindless smartphone-toting jaywalker tried to cross busy Singapore street. What happened next will surprise ... absolutely no one (with video)
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pants)
 
 
 
Photoshop these pants
source: i.etsystatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Active Times)
 
 
 
The weirdest giant objects you can visit around the world
source: theactivetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
That's a nice chateau you've got there. It would be a shame if something happened to it
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these fishing lures
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I think they're called 'taxi medallions' and we already have a process in place for getting one
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
He is... The Urinator. And he'll be back. To pee on you
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Why did Americans of 200 years ago drink nearly a quart of whiskey a day? Because water could kill you if it touched your head
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Florida fugitive arrested on rooftop by U.S. Marshals. She said she was innocent, but they said, "I don't care"
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 06, 2019
(Metro)
 
 
 
Stop... hammer time
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Splinter News)
 
 
 
NY judge rules children entitled to equal access to death
source: splinternews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Walmart subsidiary will no longer sell weapons used in surge of violence. Fark: in UK. WTFark: Single kitchen knives
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Taking a corporate cue from Cracker Jacks, Cadbury chocolate eggs now include a surprise
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
African Wildlife to poacher: Youse mess wit one of us, youse messes wit all of us, punk
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
Virginia non-profit suing in federal court so that Farkers do not face a year in jail and a $2500 fine for trying to make it tolerable to be in the state (Asinine tag is for the law)
source: pilotonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this salt mine
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Florida Man can only handle 15 minutes of freedom
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Going to jail for being drunk on mouthwash? Better smoke a bowl before you go
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPLR 11 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Nurses bail father out of jail for breaking multiple laws to get daughter who was choking to hospital. Faith in humanity temporarily restored
source: kplr11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
For the first time in nearly three decades, Los Angeles's major gangs have united under one banner to pay tribute to fallen rap star Nipsey Hussle
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pink wonder
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Coloradoan)
 
 
 
Practice your Frogger skills because Colorado is putting a bus stop in the middle of I-25
source: coloradoan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
WV mom with gun stops Egyptian man from kidnapping her daughter in mall. ummmmmmm Correction: WV mom arrested for reporting event that never happened
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You would think that banning sex between teachers and minor age students would be something that everyone can agree on. You'd be wrong
source: goodschoolhunting.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Speed limit increases killed an extra 37,000 people over 25 years. Sammy Hagar unavailable for comment
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Mummified mice found in Egyptian tomb, lending currency to Subby's plan to reboot 'The Mummy' starring Pinky and the Brain
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Cops are going undercover to make New Jersey smell a little less shiatty
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Texas teacher put on leave after his posts on white supremacist websites are discovered, including one comment saying "it's not fun" teaching mostly nonwhite students
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Candida auris, a drug-resistant fungus, is spreading and targeting children, the elderly, and others with weakened immune systems. But governments are hiding outbreak information, putting millions at risk
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Former senator Earnest Hollings is on the Fritz at 97
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
And the next winning state in the Diseases That Shouldn't Exist Anymore Lottery is...Maryland, come on down
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Come have a shocking time in electrifying Tukwila
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this twisted situation
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cole and Marmalade)
 
 
 
Camille, Cassius, Chive, Chad, Chandler, Channing, Chula, Cordelia, Chase and Chester see Caturday coming
source: coleandmarmalade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dictionary.com)
 
 
 
Downfall of the English language continues as Dictionary.com adds 300 words, including textlationship, welp, and sneakerhead
source: dictionary.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Please keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
No it's not thousands of UFOs, it's an absurd number of real streetlights that opportunistic villagers have erected to rip off the Chinese government
source: shanghai.ist   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
City of Missoula to cryptocurrency miners: Go fark yourselves
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Tourists 'threatened with death penalty' for taking selfies on beach in Thailand. Yes, Phuket
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Just wait'll they start asking about cummerbunds
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
I'll see your nine hospital nurses pregnant in Maine, and raise you with 15 pregnant maternity nurses in Long Island
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Woman finds $14,000 in cash lying on the road after stopping to collect what she initially thought was trash. Hands it over to police
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Texas plans bold, forward-thinking educational curriculum to make it the number one producer of tomorrow's calligraphists
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
1,000 Brazilian doctors have quit in the last three months. And that is a LOT of doctors
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Who takes meth to calm their nerves?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 05, 2019
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
As sea levels rise, the UN is proposing a bold solution: Floating cities
source: amp.businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Dog owners way more likely to say they're "very happy" than cat owners. Hell even people with no pets are more happy than people with cats
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Mr Keeler killed by keel. Is there nominative determinism for deaths as well as jobs?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
Maine Farkers, you think you live on the worst road in Maine? Well, most likely you do
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
Wonder why news outlets run stories about how a border shutdown might impact avocados? It's for the clicks. And it threatens to trivialize important issues
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Seventy-two people in five states have E. Coli. The FDA can't figure out why. Regulation-free free market FTW
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
America has become Godless: The number of people with no religion soars, rises 266 per cent in three decades
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Family finds a hidden camera live-streaming them during their stay at an Airbnb in Ireland. Airbnb's response: its not a big deal
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Are you a veteran who uses the benefits you earned in the military? Pete Hegseth wants you to know that makes you a freeloader who lacks personal integrity. Tag is for all veterans
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Working for a legal business? No citizenship for you
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these soldiers
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Fisher Price "Rock 'n Play" easily converts to "Roll n Die"
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Today in Hemmings classifieds: Pickup truck. Used. US Marshalls auction. Slight skunky odor. If you buy it and get pulled over, the cop WILL smell weed
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Cookie Monster shakes his head ruefully, turns, and walks away
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
After torrent of criticism, Boeing struggles to download software updates to planes over the air, lest they get a blue screen of actual death
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Bald eagles are sick of your shiat
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Man breaks into a home, eats cereal and falls asleep on the floor surrounded by torn sanitary napkins. Ain't meth wonderful?
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The NYPD has all sorts of high-tech crime-fighting gadgets, but their most effective secret weapon is called a rope
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this road traveler
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
Weeners
 
Naked, barefoot man climbs up light rail platform at 1am. Police aren't able to get him down until 7am
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
Family Pom-chi tests positive for meth after free ranging at USS Bullhead dog park in Albuquerque. Your dog wants detox
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"New York's newest neighborhood drew inspiration from Battery Park City, but is filled with 21st-century twists." So it comes with constant flooding, shiatty jobs and people giving you health care only to take it away a few years later?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Woman who decided she was done with jail and walked away finds out it doesn't work that way
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PC Games N)
 
 
 
Someone is using Gabe Newell's face to sell underwear in China
source: pcgamesn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Dick vows to drill Crevice
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Man "accidentally" overpays for Harvard fencing coach's house, man's son coincidentally gets into Harvard. Go figure
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal News)
 
 
 
While the measles epidemic is showing no signs of getting better, politicians are considering not allowing 'religious reasons' as a reason to not vaccinate your children. A rare hero tag for legislatures who are finally doing the right thing
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scoop Nashville)
 
 
 
Accidentally butt-dialing your girlfriend as you are cheating on her? That's a million dollar lawsuit
source: scoopnashville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Say, is there a software update for civil lawsuits against aircraft manufacturers?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
British stag do tourists now being hunted by police for parading through Krakow, Poland in MANKINIS (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Looking to buy a Howitzer artillery cannon? Take a number. Hold it high
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australian employment panel rules workers free to behave like drunken, obnoxious, chundering Australians
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Eight of the surviving Apollo astronauts got together for a portrait, and the wardrobe of a certain second man to walk on the moon/noted pugilist stole the show
source: amp.businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Today's "What are we morally outraged about today?" subject: Complete strangers who decide they don't want kids
source: broadly.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Boeing has identified another "relatively minor" software problem with the 737 Max, which in Boeingese likely means that the planes have a slight chance of exploding every time you raise the window shade
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Dan Robbins, artist behind paint-by-numbers pictures, dead at 93. Tributes in 1, 2, 3
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Most cops are able to keep their racist beliefs to themselves, rather than share them over social media
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Desk Image)
 
 
 
Something is wrong with this picture. Photoshop something else to be wrong in it as well
source: files.brightside.me   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Psychic attack on Houses of Parliament stops Britain's exit from Europe. For an hour (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Florida man robs Police Federal Credit Union. And, surprisingly, gets away
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Old report: If 737 Max pilots had followed procedure, they would've been fine. New report: Ethiopian Airlines pilots followed all procedures set out by Boeing, and crashed anyway. Whoops
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Fire at egg farm leads to a ton of barbecued chicken
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Fewer people are going to Jared, presumably after going to craigslist and learning that diamond jewelry is basically worthless
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
In which truck driver thinks he can defy the mighty 11foot8 by flooring it. He chose... poorly
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
If you ask the neighbor to keep an eye on a runaway pet pig while you go searching for the pig's owner, don't be surprised if you come back to find...pork chops
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fresno Bee)
 
 
 
Is that a chainsaw in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
source: fresnobee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 04, 2019
(ABC News)
 
 
 
James Burke would be proud
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
At least one large company has decided that it's better to keep insulin patients alive and paying for more prescriptions, rather than bankrupt them so they die
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
After a third person has died falling into the Grand Canyon, park officials remind visitors to stay away from the edge of the canyon. Because gravity
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Mountain bikers find barbed wire disguised as a branch hung across trail
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
You are NOT the child
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Missing woman search covers an area of 1 Rhode Island
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NY on the lookout for a pair of black bears. Have they been to the Village lately?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Experts who officially named new Japanese era forgot about name's association with old anime schoolgirl porn games. The internet didn't, because the internet never forgets anything, and a simple Google search brings it to light in seconds
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Create a logo for a fake organization
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
You can now be a Latter-Gay Saint
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Now that it's warming up again, here's a friendly reminder to be careful applying your sunscreen if you want to keep your eyelids
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Queen to Meghan Markle: The crown jewels, not yours
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Teenager gets in accident and airbags deploy. Responding deputy smells airbag chemicals, decides it smells like marijuana, we need a body cavity search
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Woman sends nude kidnap photo to parents for money. Because, that's normal
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
You know those little electric scooter rentals at the boardwalk? Not safe. Three accidents in three days result in broken neck, broken back and dead guy
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The median price of that home you can't afford just got more unaffordable
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Yo, dawg, I heard you like viruses, so I found a virus that infects other viruses
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 28 Columbus)
 
 
 
Good: Missing woman found. Bad: Her body was found in her car. Fark: In the police impound lot
source: myfox28columbus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
If you give your car to your friend in exchange for meth, don't report it was carjacked
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this antici-
source: thehappycatsite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Researchers discover that American revolution hero and "father of the cavalry" was actually Polish. Oh yeah, and a woman
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
I don't know where my estranged wife is. Then why does video show you carrying a large garbage bag out of your building and then placing it in storage just after she was supposed to be at your apartment?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Early morning, April 4, Shot rings out in the Memphis sky, Free at last, they took your life, They could not take your pride
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Today's "we're all gonna die" story comes to us from one of the world's foremost volcanologists, who has warned that if a very active volcano on the Canary Islands erupts, "'enormous' MEGA-TSUNAMIS could DROWN both the UK and US coasts" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
University of Hartford drama student charged with school stabbing says he was curious what it would be like to stab someone. That's the problem with theater majors. Too much drama
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Garbage truck driver dumps liquid waste in front of home, learns owner has security cameras
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
A drug dealer with a business plan? It's more likely than you think
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
News: Man accused of trying to lure cop's daughter. FARK: two years after similar incident with her sister
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Florida man driving along and doing erotic whippets runs over lawyer and injures family. Whippet good Florida, whippet good
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Police drop the hammer on smiling woman accused of croquet mallet attack
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Iowa man arrested for failing to belt his son
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
'More than 4,900 minors have requested a marriage license in Colorado since 2000. Out of those requests, 127 involved a bride or groom aged 15 years or younger and 10 came from Coloradans under the age of 13.'
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia's biggest oil field is producing less than what most people expected. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Florida Mayor, never a slave to reason, picks April 26 as "Confederate Memorial Day". No word on what time he plans to start working in the fields for no pay
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dezeen)
 
 
 
R
source: dezeen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this couple in bed
source: storage.googleapis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"The most famous weapon in the history of art" is up for auction. Gogh bid on it
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
New Zealand celebrates running of the sheep though town streets. Event turns into a bunch of ewe turns
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Self-proclaimed time traveller from the year 2082 says he traveled back 66 million years to take a picture of a dinosaur. No Jesus riding it because he wasn't born yet (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
'Close your legs' judge in sex attack case faces suspension
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man who stands in front of truck gets tired
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
That's good shiat, man
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
EasyJet not as easy for drunk homophobic loudmouths
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania woman tries to hide the evidence after being stopped by police, eats seven bags of heroin as an appetizer but doesn't get to her first course of more than 70 assorted pills. (with/pic of what a heroin addict looks like)
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Deputies arrest felon for pointing laser at helicopter while wearing boxer shorts, possession of firearms by felon. Personally, Subby prefers briefs
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Seriously, who steals a wheelchair ramp from a kid with cerebral palsy?
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Acetaminophen linked to kidney failure and liver damage. If you are diabetic, you shouldn't take it, because a new study shows that it leads to an increased risk of strokes in those patients
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Screw you at the drive thru? Stab you at the drive thru
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Spring thaw 2019 - ICE is moving
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
From the "what's wrong with humanity" files: apparently videos of high school seniors doing "college choice reveals" are now a thing
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Portland police bureau receives 100 applications to fill vacancies. Only three were able to pass the background screening
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Judge to Kentucky teen: go be ignorant and unvaccinated somewhere else
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Australia just passed a law that says if you're an executive of a social media company, and someone live-streams violence, you will be thrown in jail
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
You won't believe this but older people are struggling with digital literacy, which makes them easy targets of fake news, malware, scams, and hyperpartisan rhetoric online
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
A Nazi supporter who claimed homosexuality was 'unnatural' is accused of being unnatural with kids
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Didn't you know? It's good luck to throw pennies at an airplane engine before takeoff
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Worldwide Interweb)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: Create a lame board game
source: worldwideinterweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WITN North Carolina)
 
 
 
Man charged and fined for animal abandonment and cruelty after he abandons his pet after getting evicted. Fark: His pet fish
source: witn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
I know this might not be the right place for it, but if anyone has a working liver, type O blood, and are under 150 lbs, a baby needs your help
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Is it too late for Mother of the Year nominations? Look no further, here she is
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Location, location, *hic*, location
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Did we ever think we'd be parenting in a time where measles was a threat thanks to a bunch of idiotic anti-vaxxers?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Anyone know what the wedding anniversary gift is for 82 years of marriage?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Screw more. We need workers
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Normal: An attorney leaving a courthouse. Weird: The courthouse is under construction. Weirder: He left at 1:30 AM. Fark: Via BASE jump. UltraFark: And he was promptly arrested
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Police are advising that you stay away from the aggressive geese and please stop taking selfies with them
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
My Shelby Mustang does 185. I posted on YouTube, now I don't drive
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal News)
 
 
 
You may worry about people droning on at funerals, but you don't usually worry about getting hit by a drone while at one
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 726: "Product Placement". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 03, 2019
(MSN)
 
 
 
Federal government settles for a quarter million after park rangers beat up disabled Hispanic combat vet for legally parking in a handicapped parking space
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Altoona Mirror)
 
 
 
Woman behind bars after she stabbed a man in the leg with a "purple, stiletto-style" knife. Then TFA is hijacked by a Les Misérables style of criminal revelations
source: altoonamirror.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Sortofwant.png
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
VW tests self-driving cars and I'm sure with their spotless record they didn't drive over any old ladies, dogs or small children, not one, honest, really
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Police can find no motive for drunken murder spree. Police baffled, were sure they would find pot in his system
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Fark mascot has apparently swapped his Maker's Mark for psychedelic mushrooms
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami New Times)
 
 
 
Politicians are worried that it's too hard for predatory tow companies to take your car
source: miaminewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Famously workaholic Japan is pressed about long holiday they'll get to celebrate new Emperor. "If you want to go traveling, it's going to be crowded everywhere and tour costs have surged... I might end up staying at my parents' place"
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Damn it Mr Anderson. Not cool Mr Anderson. Not Cool
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Scientists say California is in an earthquake drought, so if you've been watering your lawn with tremors please stop
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(West Kentucky Star)
 
 
 
Newkirk and LeBeau still unaccounted for
source: westkentuckystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
She puts the lotion on (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this handout
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
Video
 
If you've ever considered blindsiding the bus driver with your walking cane, for God's sake, don't do it to this guy
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Drunken motorist goes 3 mph short of doubling the speed limit. Difficulty: 107 mph
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Nice boat
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
There's tough, then there's giving birth in a mango tree tough
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
You make one silly comment about the amount of groceries in a fellow shopper's cart, then everything gets all BLAM BLAM on the way home
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popula)
 
 
 
Writer poses as home buyer to see how the Miami real estate scene is dealing with unrelenting sea-level rise and not to worry "that's all been fixed"
source: popula.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Judge proposes that PG&E put "not burning people alive" ahead of "paying out dividends to stockholders"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Uber has spent $2m to fight NYC congestion charge. Wait. Insert a "for" between "fight" and "NYC"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Sometimes real heroes leak memorandums to bring attention to service families living among hurricane-ravished military installations
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
Just like your shiatty ex, Facebook found leaking your privates again
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Thanos snaps fingers, makes Star Wars presale records instantly disappear
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The last time CO2 levels were this high sea level was 60 feet higher and there were trees at the south pole. Son of a beech
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Morbid headline of the day: "How to Dig Up a Grave"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
A young Rosie O'Donnell and young Kiefer Sutherland it seems will be charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and reckless endangerment after shooting a man in the back
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this butler's pantry
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLX West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
How about this? You can choose not to vaccinate your child, but in exchange you and your child can't go into any public places. That includes hospitals
source: wflx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Millennials don't want to buy Baby Boomers' houses, just like subby doesn't want to date Anne Hathaway. So, Anne, if you're reading this, don't bother asking because I'd just say no
source: amp.businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida couple gets down and dirty, seriously... they rolled in the mud, after saying 'I do'
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
You call that overreacting to a car honk? This Australian will show you overreacting to a car honk
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Leave your old car sitting in the yard when you don't have a use for it: Sort of ok. Nuclear submarine, not so much
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
For some reason, people aren't rushing to buy $88 million dollar mansion in NYC. In other news, subby just got raise that he blew on two doughnuts and a small coffee
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Condoms up 56%, butts down in NJ annual beach trash sweep
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Indiana University draws Mumps as its next opponent
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russian boy sets off on round-the-world trip **a few hours later** "a search team found him walking down a street equipped with encyclopaedias, a toy, money from his piggy bank and a banana"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
World's tiniest influencer has a better makeup game than you (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Headline: "Duff McKagan's wife reveals secret to long lasting marriage". However CTRL+F results for "anal" = 0
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Under what circumstances do people in college need a Corvette?"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Epic parking spot battle lasts for over an hour. Grab some popcorn
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Dangers of smoking, Russian edition
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
From the: 'Umm phrasing?' files. Brunei makes gay sex punishable by stoning to death. Lesbian sex, however, gets 40 strokes
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
The best U.S. cities to raise a family. Or avoid, depending on your perspective
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Caption this computer teacher
source: 2.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Woman admits she has a favorite child, internet loses its collective mind. Although many of you won't admit, you do too (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
Video
 
If you've run out of chicken fire jokes, here's 28,000 more reasons to try again
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
If you're going to go on a crime spree, you might want to pick a different target than a small, low-populated island
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Not news: airports seizing smuggled animals. Fark: 757 Tarantulas. WTFark? From Poland
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Spoiler Alert: ●
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Man too lazy to get a real driver's license uses a handwritten piece of paper with his picture glued on it hoping it would be enough to fool police. Spoiler alert: it wasn't
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
You can now watch porn in 5D at a cinema in Amsterdam. In other news, porn just proved the existence of an extra dimension, which is not surprising as porn is usually first
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Local councillor defends a retweet as he believes "debate and discussion are generally the best guarantor a free society has against bigotry and hatred" - Fark: he retweeted Tommy Robinson
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Earth on a plate
source: localtvwhnt.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Basketball enthusiast puppy makes the UK loss a little less awful. Enjoy your Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Faking a home invasion to cover up theft of fundraising money isn't normal, but on Thin Mints it is
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Woman finds 'maggot' in KFC corn cob, demands refund which is refused at first. KFC spokesman says 'not to worry, it looks like a corn borer, which can happen when using fresh food'. Corn Borers are maggots
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Now that one swatter has been jailed for 20 years, here's another who's charged with 40 felonies and 33 misdemeanors. Help wanted: 8chan lawyer
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
So Fabrício, how's that evil twin defense working for you?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Alcoholics Anonymous keeps dominating our culture even though it's been completely debunked
source: getpocket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
The only thing dumber than two guys from Arkansas shooting at each other to try out a bullet proof vest is the story they make up when things go awry
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Hearse runs over NYPD cop's leg during huge rabbi funeral, cop hoping for a smaller rabbi if it happens again
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
The Itchy and Scratchy Show (Giggity barely beats out Dumbass tag) (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Protip: if you steal a stove, tie it down really good in your truck. Or how about this: don't steal stoves
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 4 San Antonio)
 
 
 
Oklahoma's answer to Steve Irwin found guilty of one count of aggravated mulletide and solicitation of murder
source: news4sanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Nipsey Hussle was murdered by Eric Holder. IT'S A CONSPIRACY
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 02, 2019
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Boys decide to ride their bicycles around the apartment complex. What's the worst that could happen?
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Remember that shoot-out between rival biker gangs at a bar in Waco Texas that left nine dead, 20 wounded, and 155 people charged? Exactly NO ONE is going to jail for that as prosecutors have dropped all remaining charges
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
Signs, signs, everywhere are signs, clogging up the freeway with downed power lines
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Nova Scotia to become first jurisdiction in North America to make it default to recycle your body parts after death
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Patsy caught Sayoc: but they told me the bombs I mailed were decoys
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Stabbing suspect says he was high on "Pot Gummies" in an attempt to simultaneously cause and cure the munchies
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Montreal Gazette)
 
 
 
Weekend at Béarnaise?
source: montrealgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Chemical company in Texas with at least 15 current OSHA violations, and has paid massive fines to federal and state regulators, has massive explosion killing at least one
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Protect your brains
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Worst Godfather Sequel EVER
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
This man's journey from attempted traffic stop to arrest involved leading police on a chase to his home, fleeing from there on foot through mud and losing a shoe
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy having a bad day
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
I believe that leggings are our future. Wear them well, and let your rears lead the way. Show them all the booty they possess inside
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Apocalyptic waterspout sent from Cthulhu leaves buildings in ruins
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WZZM 13 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
If the government won't fill in the street's potholes, at least this 12-year-old kid will
source: wzzm13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
We have to use the indefinite article "a" dildo, never "your" dildo
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
91-year-old Tarzana woman rides again after stolen tricycle is replaced. To be fair, it probably beats swinging on vines
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAP)
 
 
 
Good mom with a gun stops would-be kidnapper. No word on whether the bad guy had a gun, but we are assured the gun is OK. UPDATE: Woman has recanted her story about the attempted abduction
source: wtap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Cow carcasses clutter Canary coast causing concern
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
I'm not the pheasant plucker I'm the [checks notes] naked pheasant sex dancer (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
That strange taste? Oh, it's just the cadmium your co-worker has been slipping into your food and water for the past 18 months
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
UK bookmakers: Of course we're not trying to get around new restrictions on roulette-based machines. Our new games are nothing like roulette. They just involve betting on numbers between 1 and 36. Gambling Commission: Do we look stupid?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Man gets entire 737 to himself for a trip to Italy. Still doesn't get upgraded
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these surfers
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
After two years of repair, California officials say they have the dam thing fixed
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Entire church stolen. Guess they really didn't want to stick around for the free oven mitt
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
A 13-year-old just traded his Xbox for a car for his single mother
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"I cut people," said the pastor
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Blind veterans kayak through Grand Canyon. At least that's what they were told
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
The animators at "Archer" apparently also do courtroom sketches
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
What happens when you bring a squeegee to a machete fight?
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
IHOP customer complains that they're out of bacon, gets punched in the face by police
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Bread truck driver becomes toast
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Man gets fourth DUI in seven months doing 100 in a 55 with two kids and an open container of alcohol on board. Achievement unlocked
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Study: getting a small amount of sleep leads to being tired the next day. This study was a follow-up to the researcher's earlier study that showed that hitting one's head with a hammer tends to lead to ouchies
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Remember those halcyon days as a child playing with your python?
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Komodo Island will be off limits to tourists because people can't stop stealing the dragons
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Star Wars themed sex party features Jar Jar Kinks, Hand Solo, Grabba the Butt
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin State Journal)
 
 
 
When jumping off a bridge as you run from police, try not to land ass first or bad things can happen
source: madison.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Amazon now selling sex doll which comes tied-up and gagged ..get them for your fetish before the prudes shut it down
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Study shows the Brits are most likely to combine sex and drugs, otherwise known as chemsex...something something to do with looking British
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Can't afford a power wheelchair for your 2-year-old? Just ask your local high-school robotics team to build you one
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Old school: pulling the fire alarm to get out of an exam. New school: jamming the school's Wi-Fi to avoid exams
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fandango)
 
 
 
I hope you bought your Avengers: Endgame tickets already, because there are only about three left
source: mobile.fandango.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
NASA's next mission just might be evacuating the International Space Station. Thanks, India
source: amp.businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Sweden, a naked police officer arrests a fugitive in a sauna
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Suspect in Nipsey Hussle murder identified, probably not running in 2020
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
ฯ¬
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Squarespace)
 
 
 
Photoshop this enticing cheese
source: static1.squarespace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
April 2nd: 49th birthday party in Robinsonville, MS for a Farker who should have died from what John Ritter did. Never met any other Farkers but would love to
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Police dashcam captures the old "circle back during the foot chase and steal the officer's empty squad car" trick
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Over 200 sheep panic when a bear attacks one and run off a cliff so far they land in two different nations
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
I don't know if she was trying to cosplay Heath Ledger or Harley Quinn in her mug shot, but she's definitely going to prison for threatening to blow up a 7-Eleven
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Used books now banned from Washington State prisons over fears inmates will use them to make prison sangria or something
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Comprehensive" list of April Fools pranks leaves out Fark. That's a good one
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
What's the best way to get audited by the IRS? Be poor
source: projects.propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTNV Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you're overdosing on heroin and that one dose of Narcan just won't fall from the machine but just stays there hanging from that curly thing, so you fall down dying thinking "Why did I ever come to Vegas?"
source: ktnv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Do you want to injure your coworker's testicle? Because hiding a novelty explosive underneath the workplace's toilet seat can injure your coworker's testicle
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Baltimore is ground zero for the opioid crisis
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Kangaroo enters Australian pub. Beer drinkers immediately complain about the abundance of hops
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Stonehenge temporarily closed, reopens April 2
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Tourists enjoying the glory of Mother Earth flee from her anger (with video)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Can a teacher be fired for an old topless selfie sent to a former boyfriend? Apparently on Long Island, yes
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Martin Shkreli gets to spend time with all the people who don't think he's horrible
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
With the help of a computer algorithm, more than 50,000 old pot-related convictions in California will go up in smoke
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 01, 2019
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Experience the World Wide Web in 56k
source: 56k-emulator.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Well, at least if nothing else goes right, we know that we'll still have Boobies on Fark
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
In what has to be an April Fools' joke, Florida governor appoints actual scientist to post of Chief Scientist
source: amp.local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
Utah find themselves with a mess on their hands, and decide the solution is to make a bigger mess. Bada-boom? BADA-BOOM
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Homestar Runner)
 
 
 
This link was already submitted (by someone else), most recently about 15 years ago
source: homestarrunner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some IT Guy)
 
 
 
Check out the awesomeness that is Windows 98 Second Edition and Internet Explorer 5.0
source: itprotoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IGN)
 
 
 
Holy crap, the new Pokémon games are going to have ONE HUNDRED new monsters. How can you even catch that many? I don't think they could fit any more into a game
source: ign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"What was I supposed to do? I couldn't find the gift shop"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
UN passes motion condemning the harboring of terrorists in Afghanistan by the Taliban, in particular Usama bin Laden. That should see the end of him
source: undocs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
"How climate change will put thousands more at risk of mosquito-borne diseases." Oops, subby typo'd. Billions, not thousands. Hell, what's six orders of magnitude, anyway? That's a rounding error
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this command center
source: season9.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Neil Armstrong's footprint is the #1 remnant of our visits to the moon. This article discusses #2
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
National Park Service's Mike Litterst says that after days of anxious anticipation, DC's cherry blossoms have achieved peak bloom, exploding into a sea of pink
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Craig Kilborn has a bright future ahead of him in late night TV
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Suck it, Trebek: Regis Philbin is winning over America with his charm as host of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"
source: webcache.googleusercontent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Welcome back to Canada. Anything to declare?" "Uh, yeah. Grandpa died somewhere between Florida and here. He's in the back"
source: recorder.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Michigan pastor, Chris Cox charged with gettin' methy with men. Yep, Chris Cox was not a pseudonym. That was Ben Dover
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
"Full House" star Lori Loughlin gives birth to baby girl. Who here thinks this child is going to go through life easily?
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
"You bagged my groceries wrong. I'm going to kick your ass"
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Infrastructure week kicks off with a bang as a bridge collapses onto I-75 in Chattanooga
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stereogum)
 
 
 
Not just a great album, but the greatest album of 1999
source: stereogum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
I don't know what a Clear Channel is, but they're soon going to own all of AM and FM radio
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Something that works for the 1999 and curry tabs
source: mfa.gov.il   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"That is the Trump constituency," says paid consultant, Roger Stone, speaking about the National Enquirer and why Donald Trump is considering running for President
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Millennium canceled
source: screencritix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Will John Elway lead the Broncos to victory, or will former Denver coach Dan Reeves and the Dirty Birds of Atlanta fly high? It's your official Superb Owl XXXIII thread. Kickoff 6:30 PM EST on FOX
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today Canada was going to get a new province, but people said they'd have Nunavut
source: infoplease.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Anyone else worried about this Y2K thing? I have a feeling it's going to cause mass chaos, better stockpile food and ammo for when the governments fail
source: co-intelligence.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TechEBlog)
 
 
 
You know it's Black Friday when you can get an entire computer system with a 200mhz processor for only $999.99 from Best Buy
source: techeblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
1999 celebrity births, fb- is the father
source: famousbirthdays.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The Cardinals' Fernando Tatis sets a record that will never be broken
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Wanna bet, Eugene?
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The best guitarist in the world. The greatest rapper of all time. The heaviest riffs. Timeless songs. It's 1999 baby
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some 'Merica)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cute couple
source: i.redd.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Man not named Rapunzel has hair 18 feet long and hasn't cut it in 54 years
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
Pope Francis says Barcelona footballer is good but "isn't God". No word on his thoughts about Eric Clapton
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
Boobies
 
Giant inflatable boobs are now popping up all over London. (Possibly not safe for work)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
It wasn't the U.S. and its allies who brought Brit ISIS fanatic "Hungry Hamza" down in Syria, it was KFC (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ten stories that look like April Fools' Day pranks but aren't. It's not Fark, it's the BBC
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The marshmallow time was wrong then and it proved wrong today
source: timecube.2enp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Enable your flash and play the hilarious Frog in a Blender
source: joecartoon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rotten Tomatoes)
 
 
 
The ultimate year for teen movies
source: editorial.rottentomatoes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
After years of poor management decisions and getting slaughtered by Sears and Wal-Mart, GE bails out Montgomery Ward
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Company specializing in radio stations beaming from satellites to your car for a $10 a month subscription fee goes public. Who is going to buy into that?
source: investor.siriusxm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Old and busted: cable television monopolies. New hotness: cable internet access monopolies
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Wilco sells out and destroys its future for whatever this noise-pop crap is on the new album
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Harry Potter and the $100,000 First Edition With Typos
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter