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Sun March 24, 2019
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Requiem on a G String (NSFW)
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Messy Nessy Chic)
 
 
 
The subculture of Japanese trucker art. Optimus Prime unavailable for comment
source: messynessychic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
"Angry at being booted from Bryan Adams concert, St. John's woman stabs boyfriend in face" Cuts Like a knife, yeah
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop something to see in this underwater restaurant
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Enterprise Rent-A-Car employee spikes coworkers' drinks with LSD to fix their "negative energy" by taking a trip without having to leave the office
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Seven people were rushed to hospital last year after being bitten by crocodiles in the dangerous wilds of...the UK?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVZ Bend)
 
 
 
Yeah, if you could make that Breakfast Toaster® without setting the restaurant on fire, that'd be great
source: ktvz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
27% of vegan dog owners feed their pooches a vegan diet. Their dogs really, really, really want steak
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
One more thing that is trying to kill you in Australia: the weather. Fark: two cyclones in two days
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Flat Earthers really believe there are continents outside of our Antarctica that the elites, the rich and the powerful governments want kept secret. REALLY
source: huckmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Oh nothing, just Russian air force planes dropping off troops in Venezuela. It's OK, this is normal
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Avocados in six states causing listerious illness
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this not-so grouch
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US House of Representatives)
 
NewsFlash
 
The Mueller Report summary as sent to Congress (PDF). It's happening
source: judiciary.house.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
There are a lot of adjectives you can use for roads during mud season. Good is not one of them
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Moscow Times)
 
 
 
"He was naked because clothing impairs the aerodynamics of the body. He flies with more agility when undressed"
source: themoscowtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Survivor of Parkland shooting takes their own life. This is not a repeat from earlier this week
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Graffiti loving, non-property owner feigns confusion over the difference between a fine and restitution
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Australia's 'Croc Lady' bids tearful farewell to her pet Jilly, blames bureaucrats. "It's also a fight to keep her three carpet pythons, two turtles, two blue tongue lizards, two stumpy tailed lizards and one goanna, who also live at her house"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
These Stephen King adaptations are getting out of hand
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
When Powerball changed the system to reduce the odds and doubled the price of a ticket, their plan was to have fewer winners with bigger jackpots that got more people to play. Their plan is working perfectly
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Trapper Keeper
source: scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: How did you get that scar? (Stories please, not just "I fell off my skateboard" and the like. And please keep descriptions as PG as possible)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
If you live in an apartment on very busy boulevard in a major metropolitan area, go ahead and leave your door unlocked. You'll make a new friend
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sex over 50: Men do it with more partners than women, while white, bisexual, physically fit and disease free women have more than everyone else. Come for the science
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
It's a rare treat when you have a mother-daughter combo working the stick
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SILive)
 
 
 
Finally, some NYC subway cars that don't reek of urine, BO and desperation
source: expo.silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Hazmat called out for a chemical called "H2O"
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
The world's going to end soon. This is probably a repeat from every single other time someone's claimed it (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
What do you do when snowfall is measured in tens of feet?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
The TSA didn't disclose whether it was Playboy or Hustler
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In an effort to differentiate itself within the crowded U.S. airline market, American is now offering inflight luggage hose-down services. Depending on its popularity, showers may be next
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Two men who spent 7 1/2 hours riding all of Boston's commuter train lines finally find out that their motive wasn't loco
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 23, 2019
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Judge decides five times is enough, orders man to go to some other town's library next time he wants to masturbate in front of a teenager
source: framinghamsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
Video
 
Toronto now provides transit service right to your door
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Privacy fence dispute upgraded to security fence issue after mannequins kidnapped from yard
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Teen Vogue)
 
 
 
Nine-year-old girl stopped by the law on the way to school and has to show her passport to get across the border. Fark: and is detained by them anyway for over 30 hours. UltraFark: and her brother was made to sign statement he was her cousin
source: teenvogue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVOA Tucson)
 
 
 
"Accident" isn't the word that comes to mind when you and your drunk friends are passing around a loaded gun that you proceed to die from being shot in the leg while hanging out with a group of friends who are drinking and handling a gun
source: kvoa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Booze Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this futuristic whiskey distillation facility
source: s3.amazonaws.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVOA Tucson)
 
 
 
Out of film developer and need those cat pictures now? Is there nothing beer can't do?
source: kvoa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Did you apply for emergency assistance from FEMA in 2017? Well you're about to suffer even more
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hatteras shrimpboat wreckage litters coastline. Shrimpboat flotsam, Shrimpboat jetsam, Shrimpboat bits, Shrimpboat bobs, Shrimpboat pieces, Shrimpboat rafts, Shrimpboat life preservers, Shrimpboat parts, Shrimpboat tools, Shrimpboat equipment
source: wfmynews2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sneezy)
 
 
 
Not content with the level of misery inflicted on allergy sufferers, Ents bring out heavy artillery
source: burnabynow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MBL.is)
 
 
 
Two tourists in Iceland drive into an avalanche in a Fjord. No further information on whether it was a Fjord Fjusion or a Fjord Fjairlane
source: icelandmonitor.mbl.is   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Over 1000 passengers being evacuated from Viking ship after engine failure, running out of Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam SPAMMITTY SPAM! WONDERFUL SPAM!
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TruthDig)
 
 
 
Today's attempted guilt trip: Laughing at "Florida Man" stories is merely an excuse to mock the poor
source: truthdig.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this teetering tank
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Good news everyone: we've declared victory over ISIS again
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 6 Birmingham)
 
 
 
See, the problem here is obvious: The first graders weren't armed
source: wbrc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discover)
 
 
 
Caption this young chemist
source: discovermagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
1. Verizon worker hears citizen's pleas. 2. Rescues cat from utility pole. 3. Wins company triple-play award - three-week suspension
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Tsar Cannon
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Sunglass Cat shows us why we need to adopt animals with special needs, just in time for Caturday
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Five months after Hurricane Michael, let's see how Mexico Beach is doing. Oh dear
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Man charged with a fatal stabbing in Virginia says he thought his victim was a werewolf. Sometimes it just pays to shave before going out for the night
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Catholic churches desecrated across France, officials don't know why
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Police department ridiculed online for using criminal's childhood photo for a wanted poster, because they couldn't find a more recent one
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
When most people find a service dog tied up in front of a convenience store, they think its owner must be inside and not, 'Hey, free dog.' Most people, but not this guy
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
4channer gets Charlottesville, VA schools shut down by threatening "ethnic cleansing." Also gets arrested
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Stanford University: Golly gee, black motorists are 20 percent more likely than white motorists to be pulled over in the US. Black Americans: Wow. How surprising. You don't say
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Didn't I see this scene in Daredevil?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 22, 2019
(News24)
 
 
 
Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin (deep in) ♫ I wanna drink you but you're subcutaneous smoothie ♫ You're smoothie, running through my veins ♫ I don't want to feel these pains ♫ Smoothie
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Rogue gutter-cleaning service goes awry after police are called to scene
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Local northwest favorite clown J. P. Patches may be memorialized in a Washington State license plate, as long as the other clowns in the state Senate get in gear
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
On Fark, we hear a lot about Florida Man. Photoshop Challenge: Show us a Florida Man adventure based on a Florida Man news article
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Men responsible for Birmingham pub bombings named by IRA bomber. Paddy O'Furniture, Ben O'Drill, Pat McGroin top the list
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Sober she-streaker shocks and scares Shibuya Station sojourners
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
How did New York City residents get their reputation for being heartless bastards? Oh yeah, this is why (graphic video)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Elon Musk but with Elizabeth Holmes' eyes
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Mueller report delivered to Roseanne
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
You may think you're a badass, but you are not an 84-year-old female pole vaulter badass
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The police report claimed "the cow was killed according to regulations," but subby assumes the slaughterhouse worker forgot rule number two: Double tap
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Sure, it's got a million-dollar view of the ocean, but you're basically penniless: The car campers who survive in beach parking lots in California
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this floating luxury villa
source: cdn.forbes.com.mx   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Rich people are upset that someone richer is showing how super rich he is while they remain merely rich
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy ate roast beef, this little piggy had none, and the other 2,996 piggies went wee wee all over the interstate
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Fark Ready: One-legged man high on bath salts escalates Market Basket parking complaint to threatening to kill Claremont officers
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
If you're in the Orlando area this weekend, and want to get VERY drunk, be on the lookout for Monkey Whisky's hybrid cement truck/Martini shaker
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Statesman)
 
 
 
Hannah Arendt (whose political philosophy was formed under Nazi persecution) knew being human in inhuman times is hard, occasionally impossible work. She left us this message: Expect and prepare for the worst, but think and act for something better
source: newstatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Dead man rides NYC subway during morning rush
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
I'll see your worm in a tequila bottle and raise you this
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
Bad: You steal money from your team's fundraiser and get reported to the police. Worse: You rob a bank to reimburse the team. Fark: You tell the police you paid the team back and they use that to connect you to the bank robbery. The Aristocrats
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EuroNews)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you appeal the 40-year sentence you got for killing 100,000 people and they up the sentence to life imprisonment? Ruins your whole day
source: euronews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
"Mystery box-leavers torment resident of wealthy Connecticut community for a year"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
China begins training first cloned police dog. Which will in no way lead to a mutant canine army. DARPA starting 'Fake Throw' program just in case
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
This is why you never interfere in the search for a pick-a-nick basket
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A UK man was fined and sentenced to community service after swallowing a goldfish. His sentence could have been harsher, but he was judged on a sliding scale
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
America is more popular in Kosovo than in America
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
City offers bounty to people who cut down Bradford Pear trees, assuming they can safely operate a chainsaw while under the influence of hay fever medicine
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Kazakhstan renames its capital city to honor its outgoing leader. Welcome to Borat City
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
"What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies"
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Hard Core Atheist sets out to prove Christianity false after Christian nurse saves his daughter's life, instead becomes born again Christian. Puzzling part is why was he a pastor at a megachurch if he was a Hard Core Atheist
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Good to know that you can still pleasure yourself with a sex toy in front a homeowner's CCTV and avoid prosecution in Scotland (NSFW)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Police trying to figure out why sheep was tied to tree in Brooklyn. Thankfully there was not a pair of loose-fitting boots left around
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Florida man convicted of killing former FSU mascot in gumbo spice dispute, involving pocketknife, 2x4, mop handle, decorative sword
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: What's on Trump's printout?
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
That car seat found in a parking lot covered in blood and human teeth was from a suicide. Followup, Strange tags allow Creepy to call shotgun
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The newest 'while black crime': Moving
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
There's a time and a place for everything. Except perhaps confessing that you have a child porn addiction issue in the middle of your macroeconomics lecture
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NOAA)
 
 
 
The floodings will continue until morale improves
source: noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Doctors attacked by anti-vaxxers use info to inoculate themselves against future outbreaks
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
If Florida cops catch you illegally making the beast with two backs, they'll release the video to the public. That includes you, Robert Kraft
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Illinois: if you could just stop hitting our state troopers and their vehicles with activated flashing lights, that would be great
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Subby's wife is secure in the knowledge she will never suffer the same fate
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Well now we know who stole the deep state's weather control machine
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
"The plane literally is nowhere near the actual runway"
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 21, 2019
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Two guys attend prom together in rural Tennessee without being cousins
source: outsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Listen closely, this is important. Generation Rescue, Jenny McCarthy's autism charity, is a ruse whose board members rake in money from double dealing products so worthless they could bring shame to a snake oil salesmen
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Control+F "Terrorist" 0 Results
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The vegan Fully Raw Kristina doesn't eat meat, is also a virgin with a boyfriend who's either patient or screwing her best friend
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
How fast can one run wearing snowshoes? Answer: Not fast enough
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
University employee claims muggers held him at gunpoint and forced him to order 78 computers with school funds, pawn them, and use the proceeds for gambling and trips overseas
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Go home, we are full
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
"Raymond Curtis, now that you've interfered with custody of 15-year-old Ohio runaway, what are you going to do?" "I'm going to Express Inn in Pinellas Park, FL, woo hoo"
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
The leader of the great St. Pete parking garage revolt has been arrested
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Border wall concertina wire is a great home security upgrade
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Murder suspect arrested; apparely missing his middle fingers
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Fancy a quick tongue-splitting without anesthetic? Just head over to Doctor Evil's Body Modification Emporium. Riiiiight
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Thimble)
 
 
 
Police fatally shoot man in Marvin Gardens apartment complex after he refused to go straight to jail and not collect $200. #YellowLivesMatter
source: onwardstate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Super Worm Moon? What the &^%$&^% is a Super Worm Moon? Photoshop Challenge ~ Show us what "Super Worm Moon" brings to your mind
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
New Zealand's assault weapons ban draws broad support, possibly dude support as well
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Florida man arrested, accused of shoving woman to get to egg rolls
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Because when you want a beer you have to have a beer
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"Seafaring raccoon rescued while swimming in Sarasota waters"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 4 San Antonio)
 
 
 
Next time someone says they are going to take you to Poundtown, you at least know where you are heading
source: news4sanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
If an ad makes you say to yourself "I want that in my mouth," then of course it's going to upset a Million Christian Moms
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The country's biggest Christian charity and eighth-largest non-profit organization donated $56 million to hate groups last year. All of it tax free and tax deductible
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida woman sprays fisherman with hose for fishing on water she claimed she owned. Of course, you should have seen the fisherman who got away
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Chattanoogan)
 
 
 
On the positive side, he did remember to leave his gun at home before heading to the airport. However, he apparently forgot about the three pounds of marijuana, hundreds of THC oil vials and drug paraphernalia. Whoops
source: chattanoogan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this demonstration of "a picture is worth a thousand words"
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Man who had name legally changed to Michael Jackson now has a GoFundMe campaign to change it back to John Dumbass
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Not news: Man burns big pile of lawn clippings in back yard, upsetting neighbors. News: Man burns big pile of marijuana in back yard, upsetting police
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
For just $14.2 million, you could own a zoo
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NJ Hall of Fame to get a permanent home at exit 16W
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Models have a stereotype of not being intelligent, and that's rude. But smuggling £1 million worth of heroin into Pakistan isn't helping the stigma
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Customer starts a fight with the Uber driver. Based on the customer's mugshot, getting arrested was the least painful part of his evening
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
FDOT to shut down innerstate to fix mispelled sine
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
America's new inland sea, previously known as Nebraska, is still growing. "The Missouri is miles wide in places now"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Hello 911? A woman was filming me when I didn't pick up my dog's poop, so I hit her and stole her phone and brought it home with me. How soon can you get here?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Man dressed as city worker pulling copper from streetlights might have gotten away with it, except most city workers don't have heroin in their toolbox
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Police repeatedly shoot teachers with plastic pellets during active shooter drill at Indiana elementary school, tell them, Tthis is what happens if you just cower and do nothing." Scary tag steps in after Fail and Dumbass tags forget to duck and cover
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Man with knife threatens to hurt himself. Police with guns beat him to it
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Hate the look of crisp, clean sneakers but don't have the time to wear them in on your own? Good news -- for only $870, you can now buy pre-distressed sneakers from Gucci that take care of the wearing in process for you
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Doctors can now transplant organs infected with Hepatitis C, then cure the Hepatitis in you. The downside is your grandchildren will have to sell their own organs to pay off your medical debts
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Newly prescribed ADHD medications may cause psychosis, but at least you'll be a focused psychotic
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Public Radio International)
 
 
 
Russian troll farms as seen from the inside
source: pri.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Esquire)
 
 
 
Florida Man archives from 2015. Also, if you Google Florida Man + your birthday you will get incidents on or about your birthday because Florida Man does something weird or stupid almost every day
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"Fentanyl overdose deaths in the U.S. have been doubling every year." The eventual objective is that the entire US population can be peacefully put down, which is honestly great news for the rest of the planet
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Family offers to pay $53K for a part-time nanny willing to dress up as a Disney Princess. Pretty sure you can find someone on Craigslist willing to do that for less
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Problem: Your 24-foot-wide townhomes are pricing buyers out at $500,000. Solution: Cut the width in half and charge $260,000
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Injured chicken gets wheelchair at sanctuary. No, this does not belong in the food tab
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
New York man accused of selling sharks out of his home. No word on if they come with frickin' laser beams
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(United Nations)
 
 
 
Roses are red, violets are blue, it's World Poetry Day, and so are you. Uh, yeah, I'll go with that one
source: un.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
If you left the seat from a Jeep Wrangler in an parking lot covered with blood and adult teeth, the Noblesville Police Department would really like to talk to you
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
You'd think a safety feature that would keep a plane in the air would be standard but Boeing kept that as a dealer add-on
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
🔥🏠 🔥🚗 👮🚨 😒
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
So it now looks like the captain of the Ethiopian Airlines crash had not even been trained on a 737 MAX simulator. "Boeing did not send manuals on MCAS"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Bad: Cops raid your home in a child porn investigation. Better? They only arrest you over the illegal marijuana grow operation they found
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this store celebration
source: siteenvirodesign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
This 19-year-old is paying her way through college by naming over 677,000 Chinese babies. A heavy workload, sure, but still a real crib course
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
What? No, you can't have a break to pump breast milk for your infant daughter. Breast milk is for closers
source: humanparts.medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Twitter unites with stories of spilled food when a worker takes 22 quarts of ranch to the face. There's a joke to be made here but I'll let you guys take care of that
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
New Zealand bans military-style weapons less than a week after mosque attack, claims it's too soon to start discussing thoughts and prayers
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Stayed in a hotel in South Korea recently? Then you might have starred in your own online live stream
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
Apparently Brits can't handle all the alcohol they're drinking to try to cope with Brexit
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
The gender gap in China after their One Child policy is working out as horribly as you could possibly imagine
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Volvo sales set to plummet in Wisconsin. Drink Wisconsibly people
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Man arrested for possession of 216 Venus Flytraps. Dr. Johnny Fever unavailable for comment
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Bikini babe climbs pole until it's no longer erect. Pole
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Albuquerque Journal)
 
 
 
'Simulated doobies' lead to real fire and arson charges. This story gets dumber as you read it
source: abqjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
California state employees notice new elevator button labeled "riot." Yeah, nothing to see here
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
It's all fun n games til someone sets your pants on fire
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 724: "Office Space 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 20, 2019
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
To prevent other John Does from reading about minors' briefs, mysterious John Does file minor legal briefs to limit the release of documents in Jeffrey Epstein case
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
X-rays reveal secrets of mummy stored at Pennsylvania museum, script for crappy sequel
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
When you're an obscure North Korean resistance group looking to overthrow one of the most stable dictatorships on Earth, you target their obvious weak point. That's right, their Embassy in Spain
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
New drug approved by FDA to treat postpartum depression, which affects 1 in 7 new mothers, can be afforded by 1 in 50 new mothers
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
To be fair, what bus driver hasn't wanted to torch the whole busload of kids
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Feeding gummy bears to a handcuffed person, while making plane noises is no way for a young female officer to behave. Neither is recording a man's genitals
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Bodycam shows police catching kids dropped from third floor by mom to escape fire
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Nature's greatest spectacle
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
In the ongoing series of "things that are likely to kill you," today's episode is "lanyards"
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Tribune Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these basins
source: trbimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Naval Institute)
 
 
 
Heads up sharks with lasers and other foes of the U.S., the Navy is ready to 'burn boats' with mounted lasers on their destroyers
source: news.usni.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Northeast Alabama Hep A is my sleeper March Madness upset pick
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Warning: Watch it when frolicking with Irish people when going to Ireland, it seems nearly half of them have never been tested for an STI
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Mystery cockatiel enthusiast dies, leaving animal rescue to find homes for the 300 cockatiels living in his house. Cockatiel
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hudson Valley Post)
 
 
 
Priest accused of meth possession. The 14-second homily was the first hint something might be amiss
source: hudsonvalleypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Those helicopter parents who bribed and cheated their kids into college are now hiring a different kind of consultant: an ex-con to prepare them for life behind bars
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Bloke discovers how to clean his dirty junk with "bits cleaner", ends up infecting the Internet (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Tribune Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy and his hot dates
source: trbimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
That idiot who invented "Blexit," the so-called Black Exit from the Democratic Party, is still around and wants to know why you're not paying more attention to her. WaPo: Ooooh, we'll interview you
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Latest Chinese delicacy: 110-million-year-old egg
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
10/10 on the American scale, divide by zero error on the British scale
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
When thinking of organizations that profit off of slavery you probably wouldn't include Harvard University, yet here we are
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
When Squirrels Attack: Sarasota Edition
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
It's like Sputnik
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad". After being offered a deal in the spa case that would have dropped all charges in exchange for admitting what he did and doing 100 hours of community service; Robert Kraft has rejected the deal
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The cockpit voice recorder of October's doomed Lion Air jet depicts the pilots' frantic fight against the computer to stay aloft
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Woman pranks victim with tire iron at Wawa. Expected to be charged four ways
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Disgruntled stalker crunches his car into appropriately named fitness center
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Texas homeowner doesn't fall for the old snake ruse of "lets cut the cable and lure the human under the house so we can eat him," and instead calls for help to remove 45 rattlesnakes from under his house. Nice try snakes
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
Seems like a perfectly reasonable response
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Angry at being forced to cut down your privacy fence? Why not throw a naked party in your yard?
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Naked man running across highway struck and killed. There's just nuts everywhere these days
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIMT 3)
 
 
 
Man lays down in driveway, tells his mom "Why don't you just run me over?" Challenge accepted
source: kimt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
Video
 
Man begs stubborn koala to 'please' get out of his car -- koala is not having it
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
It's 'misinformation day' at the University of Washington. Or, as we call it around here, Every Day
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Reefer madness is totes for realz this time
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Portland man walks up to podcast host waiting in the drive-thru lane and threatens him with a glass bottle unless he buys him a burger. Then it gets weird
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Thousands of people in Kent, UK, have a tolerance for alcohol that would kill other people. In other news, Fark.com just found out where the highest concentration of their UK members live
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Gangsters try to steal an Al Capone statue in Arkansas, in what could be the most exciting thing to happen there today
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Aussie fisherman's catch of the day? Just a rare Mola mola sea monster ... because Australia
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Woman who drove around barricades on flood-damaged road learns why they were there. With bonus "Where's the front end of her car?" pics
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
NYC police hide behind a fake subway wall to catch a pro-Trump graffiti artist in the act
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Crashed Boeing 737 MAX 8 Lion Air flight almost crashed the day before, but thanks to a quick thinking off-duty pilot who happened to be riding in the cockpit, it didn't
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
While the US "Happiness" ranking continues to drop, the Fark headline submission counter continues to rise. Coincidence?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radikal Foto)
 
 
 
Photoshop this robotic policeman
source: b.radikal.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
What could be better than a weekly story time at the public library? How about a story time that includes a dog? This is your Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
After leading the police on a car chase and getting caught, what do you do? Why, dance furiously of course
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
When vodak and boredom combine, the Russian biatch-slap competition begins
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
A truck carrying 40,000 pounds of printer ink overturned on an Atlanta interstate, closing all lanes. The ink was valued at 53.8 trillion dollars
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ro-Ro auto boat Gently up in flames. Merrily, merrily, merrily, 37 Porsches down the drain
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLKN-TV Lincoln)
 
 
 
And as the flood waters receded, a miracle appeared before them
source: klkntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
The naked blonde and her poodle are OK, but the cure isn't going to work on the two-foot salami again
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
A group of lawyers took down big tobacco, and now they've set their sights on the biggest scourge facing America. Realtors 6% commission
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
#144 Ever Better
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I'm sorry to inform you that we are being forced to divert due to the unfortunate after effects of St. Patrick's Day corned beef and cabbage"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
Cool: Formerly homeless Jersey City teen gets accepted into college. Mega cool: All 18 colleges he applied to
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Okay you misbehaving pre-schoolers. Take off your clothes and stand naked in the closet. And I better not hear you saying I'll show you mine if you show me yours
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Teacher says, if you can just overlook all the death, destruction, murder, and killing, Hitler was a great guy
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Delta Airlines ranked the best airline. In other news, people who rank airlines have never flown Delta
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 19, 2019
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Subby wishes he could see what funny headline he posted, but all the damn Wite-Out on the screen makes it hard to read
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Turns out people would rather live near wind farms than suck on tailpipes for the sweet, sweet freedom
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Pissed-off skier swallowed by avalanche... sorry that's Off-piste skier
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
The man had reportedly wrapped raw meat around a neighbor's door handle, urinated on the linoleum outside their door, and smeared toothpaste on their door peephole. Seattle needs a Tag. And oh yeah, he also stabbed a cop
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Despite recent outbreaks, 20 states have pending laws expanding anti-vaxx allowances, presumably thanks to some super-secret child-sized body bag lobby
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wandering woman
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
A case of Monster energy drinks for a buck & change? Just don't use your Fresh Perks savings card at the checkout. Double Fark: the perp tried this at two stores
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Google announces a new comprehensive ultimate gaming service that it will duplicate and kill off in 3 years
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you are going to transport a still illegal stash of marijuana and other "homemade" edibles laced with pot or THC in your car, try to remember to follow ALL driving rules
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
As it turns out, telling homeless people to just go be homeless somewhere else is not a long term solution
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Crowbar-wielding unicorn who robbed a High's convenience store for cigarettes and cash is arrested after his getaway driver crashes into mailboxes, pole, and tree. Friendship is magic
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
South LA gas tanker explosion raises safety questions, probably not including 'how can gas tankers safely explode'
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man of the house
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Detroit man shoots himself in the foot while doing his part to defeat the bugs
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
It's always nice to give a heartfelt gift to a complete stranger, but offering them the gift of flight by throwing them off a freeway overpass is not universally accepted
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
This will certainly make the next family reunion a bit awkward
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Robo cop dog busts drug dealer. You have thirty seconds to bring him steak
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Runaway cow wreaks traffic havoc on NYC highway
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mothers who lost children to disease are being attacked, harassed by anti-vaxers, trying to suppress most potent reason to vaccinate your kids: They could die
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Fairytales have started coming true. Great news for now, but watch out for ogres (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
The federal government is offering $1,000 to anyone who adopts a wild horse. Dr Evil unavailable for comment
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Arby's manager pepper-sprays, chases employee with knife, police say
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Today in "Have we tried throwing more money at it?": how switching to electronic medical records became a clusterfark after spending $36 billion on it
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
Weeners
 
Some things your penis can tell you about your health ... and when it's time to see the doctor. In related penis news: Yes indeed, your penis can talk to you
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Tourist: I think I'll take a picture of this tourist trap. Tourist Trap: WE HAVE LICENSE TO USE ALL YOUR PICTURES NOW! Rest Of The World: That's not how this works. That's not how ANY of this works
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Alien)
 
 
 
March 20th is Extraterrestrial Abductions Day. Celebrate by star gazing in an open field wearing your favorite A-ha shirt
source: cute-calendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
[Gentrification intensifies]
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Sanford woman who accused husband of child abuse faces child porn charges. Without knowing any more, it's safe to assume everyone involved is a big dummy
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Retired doctor fills in as busboy to help waitress daughter, saves choking woman's life
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Remember the ref who made the black wrestler cut his dreads? He's suing for emotional distress because of course he is
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Couple armed with knives try to rob gas station clerk who keeps a machete behind the counter. The resulting fight video really needs Yakkity Sax added as a soundtrack
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Mall of America welcomes... what could possibly go wrong?
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Major cyber attack leads to unfortunate smelting incident
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
White House says reporters will lose their press badge if they weren't on White House grounds 'at least 90 days' in the past 180. Trump himself was on White House grounds just 44 days when there was a scheduled event
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slacktivism
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"The citizens of tomorrow are granted no rights." Sorry, Superman
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Man kills time while waiting in Social Security Office by a.) doing crossword puzzle, b.) checking Facebook, c.) masturbating in front of hundreds in lobby
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
If you hit a bicyclist and sped off without the front end of your Camaro, Indianapolis police would really like to talk to you
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
After Florida voters overwhelmingly approved medical marijuana in 2016, governor immediately signs bill. In 2019. "Smoke 'em if you got 'em, stoners"
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You know a marriage will go well when they take separate honeymoons. We may have reached Peak Millennial
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Virginia State Police are manually checking the records of 2,400 defendants found not guilty by reason of insanity to make sure they are barred from buying guns. Sleep well Virginia, sleep well
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Oh FARC
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
To make insult worse than injury man who put lead in his pencil the hard way is charged. Most likely not his best day
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Police: That woman we pulled over shot herself in the mouth after we handcuffed her behind her back. Yeah, that's the ticket
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of San Diego)
 
 
 
So that's who's been writing all the vaccine exemptions in San Diego
source: voiceofsandiego.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
Old News: Felony assault. Florida Challenge: Pancake batter-y
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 18, 2019
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Doctors: Hey, remember how we told you to take a low dose aspirin every day to help prevent heart attacks? Well, um, don't actually do that because you could die. Sorry, our bad
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Seafood Guy)
 
 
 
Man arrested at the airport for smuggling 15,500 tons of shrimp. He planned to barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it, pan fry it, deep fry it, stir-fry it, make pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp and coconut shrimp. That's about it
source: undercurrentnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Your ugliness times your age times your availability divided by your desperation = swipe left or right
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Town shuts down after influx of tourists cripple roads in an effort to get a look at a bunch of allergens
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
♫ I'd catch a grenade for ya. Leave it in the middle of the road for ya ♫
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Man who helped a police officer down the road Saturday is now a wanted man by the police on Monday
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"I'll never forget my old dad... the things he'd say to me." "What did he say?" "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tinypic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Farker who got hit by a bus and broke both his wrists. He needs a good laugh right about now
source: i66.tinypic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
"I've been doing meth ... and it feels great." Wonder what the headline left out. Oh
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
On Paul's Memory Bank tonight (8PM EDT) a 2 hour sampling of the work of Hal Blaine (1929-2019).....what's that scratching.....what's that hole in the ceiling??....a squirrel??? Drew???
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
What could possibly go wrong if your internet girlfriend asks you for money?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
At Stanford, students rely on their snowplow parents to set up play dates with people in their dorm. A strategy that rests on their parents shoving friends from the hallway into their dorm rooms
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Sterling Heights Michigan is asking for help with naming the "Golden Butthole" surely Farkers can help
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Carjacker misquotes Steve Miller song
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Today's 'murica award goes to Jerome Kunkel for first refusing to get vaccinated because of his "Christian faith," and then suing the Northern Kentucky Health Department for banning him from school during a chickenpox outbreak
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Police hope to sound alarm on whoever stole 70 pound bell from Olympia elementary school
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Well, I was on my way to this gay Gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled smoking some pot when I suddenly thought, "Gosh, the mob's a bit rubbish. I think I'll kill the Godfather for not letting me date his niece." Who's with me?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
'Man in hours-long standoff refuses to surrender despite being inside burning home' in what's being described as a self-correcting problem
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Utrecht shooter is aarrested
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this giant pancake
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Brexit is just a flesh wound. HAVE AT YOU
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Cool: Rains create 'superbloom' of wildflowers around California city. Not Cool: 'Disneyland' size crowds create gridlock
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
That's one way to keep the face huggers away
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"New campaign challenges online child sex predators." Phrasing. It's important, people
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Brah, they did you a favor. Now you can find a quality gym that doesn't sabotage people with pizza and tootsie rolls
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
Boobies
 
Since I know you'll not be reading this after I put what the article is really about, I hope you all have a fantastic day. Now it seems there was a massive brawl of women in bikinis
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
In light of ailing economy, Iranian president Rouhani urges all Iranians to put curses on the United States, possibly in the hopes of drumming up business for clerics and paladins who are high enough level to cast Remove Curse
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Police say there's nothing at all suspicious about former Ferguson protesters turning up shot, burned, hanged, or finding snakes in their cars, as statistically that stuff just happens
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
I'm sure it pairs wonderfully with one of those t-shirts where a wolf is howling at the moon
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
New Jersey man has late fees waived after he returns library book 53 years late. No word on what the book's title was, but we can assume it's not 'How to return library books on time'
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Please tell me that's not really a tattoo in this mugshot
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Post and Courier)
 
 
 
One South Carolina sheriff was so corrupt that he managed to spend more than ten thousand dollars one year at a single Golden Corral, with tabs averaging $175
source: postandcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
"This soup isn't hot OR sour enough"...*BAM BAM BAM*
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
New York woman gives birth to 15-pound baby, proving that much like the Dali Lama, the soul of Andre the Giant can be reincarnated
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
US sanctions on Venezuela are hurting the most vulnerable, which at this point is pretty much everyone except Maduro
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJRH Tulsa)
 
 
 
Sanctuary
source: kjrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
I thought misophonia was Jar Jar Binks telling me he'd call me back
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Body of Orange shooting suspect found in San Diego after manhunt, finally allowing Oompa Loompas to relax
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
If you've ever wished for a Sweeney Tood/Jack the Ripper mash-up, today is your lucky day (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Apparently the best way to scare off a moose is to throw your cat at it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
I see your Girl Scouts selling cookies outside pot shops and raise you Girl Scouts selling cookies outside of bars. On St. Patrick's Day. In Milwaukee
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Model who blew the whistle on former Italian PM and billionaire Silvio Berlusconi's "bunga bunga" parties where he had sex with underaged prostitutes seems to have succumbed to a nasty case of radiation poisoning just as she was writing a book about it
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these playful penguins
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Man tries 'Ocean's 11' heist at Bellagio. Since you're reading this on Fark
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Archaeologists: OK Herodotus, we'll concede you actually knew what you were talking about this time, but watch your ass
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
The most Wisconsin story you'll read today
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Firefighters rescue dog with head stuck in wheel-rim. Cat still laughing at off-road cone of shame invention
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever before...what with the slow WiFi, broken phones and zero 'Likes' on socials media. Heavens to Murgatroyd
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Multiple people injured after shooting on Dutch train. Story developing
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
🎶 They say the neon lights are bright on Broadway/ They say there's always magic in the air/ But when you try out for some skit/ And the room is full of someone's sht/ The glitter rubs right off and you're nowhere 🎶
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
New Zealand terrorist to represent himself in court, presumably because his lawyer wasn't white enough
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJRT)
 
 
 
St Patrick's Day without at least one murder is a dull affair. Someone got the party started early
source: abc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mynd you, møøse robberies kan be pretti nasti
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
She hated when people joked she was the milkman's daughter because she didn't look Slavic. She isn't
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Giant Meteor runs campaign ad
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
Video
 
AMATEUR VIDEO: Angry old guy calls ICE in a bowling alley, accusing the employees of 'not having their papers' (NSFW language)
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Seattle is dying
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Here's one for the "WTF Were You Thinking" file...seriously, WTF? Audio tag unavailable for comment [Graphic images]
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
====Click here to see the train wreck
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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