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Sun March 10, 2019
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Are you a working mother? Congratulations; you're the reason your kid is fat
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Income of $210,000 a year is only considered middle class in a Seattle suburb. Apparently when you live in the same zip code as Bill Gates, the poverty line is hovering somewhere around $10 million
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ski horseplay
source: cdn4.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Explorers to send the first ever live video feed from deep below the ocean's surface. It's technology that's just hard for most people to fathom
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Who needs small town newspapers when you've got Facebook
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rock slide
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
An essay about magical clothing and talismanic fashion that begins with a guy dressed up as a chicken
source: charlottejane2002.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
No, parents, you don't have to play with your kids all the time; let them imagine on their own
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Man arrested for choking driver who wouldn't stop singing Christmas carols
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lamp
source: images1.novica.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Mother of the Year candidate left her five children home unsupervised so she could enjoy a vacation in Myrtle Beach
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"I told her, no pictures. Next time, she'll listen"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ethiopian Airlines Boeing 737 heading to Kenya crashes near Addis Ababa. CNN placed on high alert
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Moist
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Anti-vaxxers don't just pose a public health crisis; they pose a public sanity one
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Half century of steelmaking history vanishes in a West Virginia city as this video demonstrates. (Hint: It blows up real good)
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Panhandle)
 
 
 
If at first you don't succeed, fail, fail again
source: mypanhandle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
A tree fell in the city
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Demons made her do it
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cheezburger)
 
 
 
Anti-vaxxer mom asks online for furniture ideas for her unvaccinated son; says she is not interested in having an argument. This being Fark, I'm sure you know what happened next
source: cheezburger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Before you post that video of yourself attacking a pelican, remember that bird might be federally protected
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Focus fire focus is fired fire fighter living with mom
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
After the bodies are removed, the CSI folks have gone home, and the forensic cleaners have done their job, how does a stigmatized property get sold? Rolling Stone is glad you asked
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 09, 2019
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
The weather is warming so it's time for the annual "rescuing of the idiots" articles
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Creative solution for potholes: lower speed limits
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Your cruise ship is a Constitution-free zone
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NC Register)
 
 
 
The Catholic church, in response to followers' issues with gluten, are toying with the idea of allowing the eucharist to be something other than unleavened wheat bread. Some people have a problem with this
source: ncregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this doggo
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Subway unexpectedly tries out new bag of fentanyl, cookie and a drink promotion with their $5 footlong
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Passengers injured after Japanese ferry strikes "apparent marine animal" in apparent shameless upcoming Godzilla movie viral marketing stunt
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Freaked Out Guy)
 
 
 
78-year-old meth dealer tells police he's been dealing it for 20 years, had never been caught. Heisenberg approves
source: nowhabersham.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
The house that inspired your high school English teacher's favorite novel, "Wuthering Heights," is now available for purchase, so here's your chance to burn it down, nuke the site from orbit, and salt whatever remains
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these tourists
source: lh3.googleusercontent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
You can get pretty much anything you need from DIY stores these days. Lawnmowers, timber, electrical fittings, cocaine, power tools... wait, back up one
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you're have a lovely day paragliding, you come in for a perfect landing, then get attacked by a kangaroo?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
These ancient health techniques can help you to reach your ancient life expectancy
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Stupid, greedy people shocked to discover that investment scheme paying six times more than banks has gone bust
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The problem isn't with "springing forward," the problem is what you really hate is standard time
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
As long as there are walls, there will always be tunnels
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Family is upset 72-quart cooler is not suitable for 5-year-old to play hide-and-seek in
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BGR)
 
 
 
Mark Zuckerberg reportedly has an escape hatch in his office in case of emergency. Gee, wonder why
source: bgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Ridleys
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Missouri woman may get to receive her Oscar while wearing prison jumpsuit, leg irons
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Two of the world's rarest cats are making their debut on Caturday
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Move over you young 100-year-old plus whippersnappers, a 116-year-old Japanese woman has been named the world's oldest living person
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Tell them it's a stupid internet hoax, duh
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Change up your method of small talk: Rather than being impersonal, start being creepy and prying, so that people will remember and avoid you
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Subby's childhood best friend got lost in the snow, but has been found alive
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Would you or wouldn't you? Subby's not sure on this one
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man uses refrigerator to try and smuggle 10 Vietnamese nationals into UK. Definitely not cool
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Elderly couple make poRn movie to prove sex is still good when you're old and salty, smell of elderberries
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
A good mom will stand up for you no matter what. A great mom will threaten Dominos staff with a handgun when they forget your hot wings
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GSA Auctions)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to print your own money, or at least own the presses? If so, the Bureau of Engraving and Printing in Fort Worth, TX has a deal for you
source: gsaauctions.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Frankenfish II: The Eatening
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 08, 2019
(Darth Farker)
 
 
 
Man wearing a Star Wars shirt robs Arizona bank. George Lucas now asking for a cut of the take
source: pinalcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
There are times when a man should be allowed to tell the police to fark off. Being searched for marijuana while dying in the hospital with stage 4 pancreatic cancer is certainly one of them. He had his phone so there is a video
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Couple want to change the law, presumably because if you can't marry your first cousin in Utah, that severely limits the number of people in your partner pool
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(pls don't ban me)
 
 
 
In honor of International Women's Day 2019, the history of ironing boards
source: creativehomewares.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Study finds that women who undergo hormone therapy to make menopause easier incur a 9 to 17 percent increased chance of developing alzheimer's. Lead author summarized: "The uterus is a vicious biatch that will have its revenge"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Who wouldn't want to fly in a big jet with the word "DUMBO" on it?
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Game)
 
 
 
Photoshop this night trail picture
source: antlerridgecabinohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
It's time for a winter road trip to Mexico. Let's make a checklist of what we'll need: Classic car? ✓ Shorts & T-Shirts? ✓ Gas? ✓ Lots of gas? ✓ Tags and registration for the car? ❌ Passports? ❌ GPS? ❌ A single clue between the two of us? ❌
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Today's "panacea being touted as a cure-all for whatever ails you" is (shakes magic 8 ball): drinking some genetically-modified bacteria
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Bet this couple wishes they had a hot tub time machine
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The indictments we've all been expecting just happened
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Protip: Don't leave your giant styrofoam sandwich outside near the dumpsters if you don't want folks to assume it is garbage
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
There are good ways and bad ways to teach elementary students about slavery. This is probably a bad way
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"He flew the plane under traffic lights at an intersection during the landing." Was the light green?
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
TMI NYC subway riders told 'crew bathroom break' reason for rush-hour delays. Says one: "Hello boss, I'm late due to the subway operator's explosive diarrhea"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Ship)
 
 
 
Photoshop this freighter listing
source: cdn.japantimes.2xx.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida woman stabs boyfriend after he looks at a photo of another woman
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Montana Drag Queens is the name of my bluegrass Mink Deville cover band
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Angry drive-thru customer storms Taco Bell, makes own food in kitchen. On a related note, his toilet will also soon be storming
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Woman shoots boyfriend with shotgun, historically known as old-time home remedy for sleep apnea
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Man shoots himself in leg in diner parking lot. When asked about the restaurant and his prognosis, he replied, "IHOP"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
A single unvaccinated student at a Brooklyn Yeshiva spread measles to 21 other students. Though, technically speaking, for that to happen, didn't those 21 kids ALSO need to be unvaccinated too?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
What Would Submerged Jesus Do?
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medpage Today)
 
 
 
Doctor explains how pharmaceutical research trials work, and how the Oakland Raiders went an undefeated 16-0
source: medpagetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"I tattooed my face so I couldn't get a normal job." That's a bold strategy, Cotton
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kark.com)
 
 
 
Arkansas stand-your-ground law narrowly fails after State Senator's indignant outburst. It's news, it's Kark.com
source: kark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston 25 News)
 
 
 
Tractor-trailer overturns, causing massive Fireball spill. Firefighters, dudebros race to scene
source: boston25news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ACLU)
 
 
 
Not News: Man buys legal medical marijuana. News: In a legal-marijuana state. Fark: He takes it back home with him. Ultrafark: And is promptly sentenced to eight years in prison, because his home state doesn't recognize legal wacky weedus
source: aclu.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Man struck in head with hatchet at Taco Bell will now be oozing from both ends
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Family wants to demolish the "I'm a torso" Murder House
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You know you've done messed up when even winning a $273M lottery jackpot isn't enough for your ex-wife to even bother calling you for reimbursement of the the spousal support she has been giving you
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Biologists identify new killer whale species with a serious thing for pirate cosplay. Arrrr
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest Indiana Times)
 
 
 
Indiana Supreme Court rules it's none of your damn business why I pulled you over so get out of the car and STOP RESISTING
source: nwitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Eliot Ness' scrapbooks show how legendary investigator took on Capone, jaywalkers and a serial killer
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Prospective buyer of iPhone pulls fake gun on seller in bank parking lot, seller pulls real gun. Obvious tag subbing in for Dumbass tag, who's in the back of an ambulance to the hospital
source: everettwa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Oregon hospital gives $812K worth of treatment to save an unvaccinated child who contracted Tetanus. HOLYFARKOMGWTF: His parents promptly refused to accept further treatment or any other vaccines
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Woman who called 1-800-PACK-RAT to rent a storage unit is upset her unit was infested with rats
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Attention, police officers: Using law enforcement databases as personal dating apps will not reflect favorably on your job evaluations
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Detroit mayor calls 30 minute 911 response times outliers. After all, most people have to wait a couple of hours
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ruidoso News)
 
 
 
Because its the 1870s again, a Texas man has been arrested for cattle rustling
source: ruidosonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Holland decides to finally make booze legal
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Vermont town elects some local kid to be mayor
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Maybe if it said Budweisest he would have gotten away with it
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 07, 2019
(NBC News)
 
 
 
In other words, you are telling me that Helen Keller's stepsister is still alive, and punching Nazis?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
FTA: "If you feel like a failure today, just know that I wore a car seat cover a friend gave me because I thought it was a skirt"
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Drones are now being used to herd sheep. Your border collie wants a universal basic income
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Electric company bosses practically dare a knitting crowd for the guillotines as they go bankrupt to avoid responsibility for deaths they were culpable in and receive TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY MILLION DOLARS in bonuses at the same time
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
Judge issues restraining order against another snowstorm in Minnesota. Iowa on its own
source: blogs.mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
The Chippewa County Road Commission would like whoever is sowing snowy county roads with corn to cut it out
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Swedish woman charged in Ikea cream balls attack. Florida Man seen taking notes
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Man rides away on police Segway while his girlfriend steals their PepperBall gun. Paul Blart reportedly on the case
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Burglar pretends to be witness to his crime, tries helpful "they went that way" move on police. Cue sad trombone sound. With kind-of-sad cop-cam video goodness
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
Police politely ask lit up man to stop lighting bottle rockets in front of his home. Jailarity ensues
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these barrels in a room
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Beachfront wedding gets a well deserved Florida tag
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man crashes dull event. Literally
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Walking dogs is sending older people to the ER, study says. Cats nod approvingly
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
If you're the guy who entered an Oakland coffee shop and stole 10 laptops from customers at gunpoint, the police would like a word. In other news, laptops at coffee shops are now targets for theft
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Adam Savage notices a new Ford patent looks suspiciously similar to a project he did just a year ago...for Honda
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Would you like some mumps to go with your measles?
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
Knock knock. Who's there? CAR
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Literally pants-on-head drunk
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Girl walking her dog is credited for finding a kidnap victim locked in a car trunk. Her dog wants credit too, but will settle for Milkbone underwear
source: wcbs880.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Give that cat a...fish? Cats don't want steak, right?
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tucson.com)
 
 
 
Ack-ack-ack-du lieber
source: tucson.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Aberdeen's most famous whisky bar, Union Street bar is up for sale. Guid gear comes in sma' bulk
source: foodanddrink.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bozeman Daily Chronicle)
 
 
 
The roof at a university known for its engineering program has collapsed
source: bozemandailychronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Officers had responded to Taylor's house earlier Wednesday night because she had stopped taking "prescribed psychiatric medication and was acting unusual." Which would explain the stolen police SUV & the three state car chase
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
This is not the Airwolf reboot we were expecting
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some T)
 
 
 
Photoshop this early motor home
source: myautoworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Seven out of 23 ferries in Washington State Ferry system are out of commission due to USCG inspections, crabbers. Spokesman: "Keep your crab pots in an area where it makes sense to crab and out of the way of big ships"
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Observer & Eccentric)
 
 
 
If you're high on pot and 15 Xanax while on probation, you may not want to start banging on a strangers door at 5:30 in the morning
source: hometownlife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
The Battle Over 'Daryl the Donkey'
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Soon you will be able to pay $9.5 million to stay in an orbiting hotel and experience 12 whole days of the wonders of micro-gravity such as bloating, nausea, and stuffed sinuses
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reader's Digest)
 
 
 
Reader's Digest breaks new frontiers in journalism and shares "The Secret Reason Some Bathrooms Have Light Switches Outside the Door" (tl;dr -- it's to keep you from being electrocuted while you sit on the john)
source: rd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Some teens save money for 2 years to buy a car. Others put it away for college. Then there's this guy
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
"For lent i'm giving up the ability to live and work in 27 countries"
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Every American generation supports legal weed- except one. Guess who's the wet blanket generation
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
And nothing of value was lost
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
*takes bong rip* Man, like, what if we turned bird flu into human flu?
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
The most Montana story ever: a man injured by cows is rescued by a guy on a tractor
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Man mistakenly arrested in prostitution bust that netted Robert Kraft is looking for a happy ending
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Woman wins $10,000 for doing what everyone should, yet nobody does
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Two weeks ago: NYC MTA swears that they have done a complete survey of their elevated lines and determined there is nothing left to fall after a piece of wood strikes a car. Yesterday: Look out below
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Russian couple arrested in Raleigh, NC for money laundering, bribery of a public official, murder for hire and possession of a firearm with an obliterated serial number. Trump asking top advisors how soon can he pardon them
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Demonstrators scramble after plan to fry 'Egg Church' does not go over easy. Potential buyers want them to see the sunny side of demolition, but opponents say its just an attempt to poach a mid-century landmark
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Russian warship with "vomit-inducing weapon" spotted off the UK, maybe seeks to test it on the battle-tough stomachs of those who eat British food
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Police make shocking discovery after screams from beyond the grave are heard coming from cemetery, find living man (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Without women, there would be no tequila
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLX West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Fourth grade boy forced to wash Ash Wednesday cross from his forehead by school teacher because who ever heard of Catholics living in Utah?
source: wflx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Turns out that Da Vinci may have done a Mona Lisa porn parody as well
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
That moment when you realize the truck coming straight at you isn't going to miss
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Olive Garden waitress saves children from abusive parents. Amazingly the abuse wasn't because they brought the kids to Olive Garden
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
"Hey kid, want a job?" "Sure..." "Want a rifle and some camo paint?" "Uh"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Millennials continue to destroy all the things that deserve to be destroyed
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Man gets lead poisoning after aiming his wallet at police and shouting 'I have a gun'
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
A Florida police officer who fatally shot a man for the crime of 'being stranded while black' has gotten a promotion and raise. Nah, just kidding. He's looking at life in prison. Florida tag too busy being shot at
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Always look at what's going on behind you when taking a selfie
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Well, this is going to put a crimp in my plans for an upcoming GoT binge marathon
source: southernliving.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Watch this thief steal over $100,000 of jewelry from KMart. No, I didn't misplace a decimal point
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
It's the night before your wife's 27th birthday, but she's not letting you drive drunk. What do you do? Difficulty: Mississippi
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WANE Ft. Wayne)
 
 
 
A rare truthful apology from a convicted person speaking to the victims in court: "Sorry for being a piece of shiat"
source: wane.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Woman looks surprised that popular eyebrow procedure causes problems
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
'Pop-up boutique egg freezing' is now a thing
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this teeth whitening
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Butts rebuts parliamentary nuts
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
Boobies
 
3D printing new boobs for breast cancer patients. Turns out Weird Science was a documentary
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"I am not a police officer but should be considered one." And it didn't work
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Come visit the Barbie museum. Just don't steal Hitler's car
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
If you work in a bar in Arlington, VA, and your name is Angela, your life is about to become a whole lot more complicated
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PsyPost)
 
 
 
DNRTFA
source: psypost.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Patient steals ambulance, winds up as patient in another ambulance
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Remember Space Food Sticks? They might be coming back cannabis flavored
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Oregon Wineries working to save grapes rejected for smoke taint. TIL grapes can get smoke on their taints
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
It's sometimes hard to tell if the people next door are running an illegal drug house or an illegal dentist office
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
OSHA fines Florida post office 130k for exposing mail carriers to August heat. UPS and FedEx drivers look on sweatily
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Today's racist hate crime is pollen
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
It's one thing to live in Detroit. Then there's living in the worst apartment that city inspectors have seen in years
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 722: "One is the Loneliest Number, Again". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 06, 2019
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
IHOP is now aggressively going after the Waffle House crowd
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
NY zoo owner vows to wipe egg from face if pregnant giraffe made famous by bizarre YouTube incident doesn't give birth soon. Which makes no sense because giraffes don't lay eggs
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
"Fire fighters administered oxygen to the couple and Bella [the cat] then took them to the hospital." Hopefully Bella can drive better than Toonces the driving cat
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Fire station burns to the ground while firefighters watch
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
God is not smiling upon Esther Gomez De Aguilar, who was caught dressed as a nun while trafficking $90,000 worth of Fentanyl
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Ash Wednesday: not the ideal day to have to defend your client from murder in front of cameras, at least if your priest is really enthusiastic
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TownNews)
 
 
 
Photoshop these rolling dancers
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Social anxiety disorder may increase risk of alcoholism. Obvious tag chugs its 4th morning beer
source: sciencesources.eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Best time to go on a crime spree: shortly after your death
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Meet the dogs that were trained to sniff out cancer
source: 921ctq.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Owner of the State Farmers Market Restaurant in Raleigh NC closes restaurant and takes employees and their families on an all-expenses-paid trip to DisneyWorld for 3 days. Like a boss
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
When dad told me to close the refrigerator door or I'd be cooling off the whole country, I had no idea he was serious - what do we win? (warning: autoplay video, but interesting farther down)
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kentucky Sports Radio)
 
 
 
Louisville sucks
source: kentuckysportsradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Cock stuck in infamous California glory hole eventually emerges damp, spent, and limp, but ok
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Trail runner learns that Bison rule on Antelope Island
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Two seriously injured in crash in Ramona. Beezus wanted for questioning
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Beat it, Trebek
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
It's an "Oakland thing," and by that you mean trying to honor a loved one that passed away by trying to kill other people by throwing $20 bills out onto the freeway on the way home from the funeral
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
GWB: Gardening While Black
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
11'8" bridge gets out done by the 11'6" bridge
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Japan Rail puts up illustrated poster reminding frustrated passengers not to spit on faces of station workers, with examples of previous posters depicting frustrated passengers headbutting or chucking beer cans at station workers
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Fornication will no longer be illegal in Utah, so everybody get farking
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Police revive driver with 10 doses of Narcan, meaning he gets the next overdose for free
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely moment
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Hipster complains magazine used his picture to claim all hipsters look alike; learns the photo was of a completely different hipster
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Buzzsaw cutting firefighters called to penis duty after man gets iron ring stuck on his junk after bizarro solo sex game. Let's watch and see if they slip
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Two Montana guys caught in Minnesota pulling a camper packed floor to ceiling with weed despite their brilliant disguises as rugged outdoorsmen
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Amazon delivery driver parks in a handicap spot outside of St. Louis area Target, becomes a target for enraged motorist with a gun
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WIVB)
 
 
 
Lamest Star Wars villain yet arrested for making terroristic threats
source: wivb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
The Alabama high school dealing with the fallout of a racial, anti-Semitic video decides to schedule a day of dialogue. Dialogue includes a white teacher dropping 'N' bombs
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Need a FEMA buyout? Remember that the "How White Are You?" question is the most important one on the application
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Welcome to America where you have to worry if the guy who shot up a school will be bailed out and get to go home to the house across the street from the school he shot up
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Today's dose of schadenfreude: Billionaire diamond trader dies during penis enlargement surgery
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Federal agents raid Harvey police department in a vain attempt to find that gigantic invisible rabbit
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
'Man I've had like six or seven bears, I'm drunk,' says driver who just plowed into a pole and sheared off a hydrant
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you finally get your stolen ATM out to the parking lot then find your getaway driver has already left
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Cruise ship rescues plane crash survivors, who now must fight off norovirus
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Police stop truck at NJ rest stop that had enough fentanyl to kill everybody in NJ. So close, so close
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
As you crack open that bottle of Evian, remember that climate change and population growth are making clean drinking water scarcer than ever, and it's exacerbated by bad management
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
New study ranks Boise, Idaho as the best place to live in the U.S., topping Madison, Wisconsin; Iowa City, Iowa; Sioux Falls, South Dakota and Lincoln, Nebraska. Apparently the study was based on having no neighbors within ten miles
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here - just another Russian naval task group off Scotland. Uh...everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Kentucky man accused of stealing $75,000 of beef from his employer. One thing that is known is that he definitely wasn't working at White Castle
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
The FDA has determined that Special K can help ameliorate depression. DIFFICULTY: Not the breakfast cereal
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Moldy adulterated rolls, does anyone want that explained to them?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Arizona prosecutor: Uber is not liable in deadly crash of self-driving car ...oh and that back-up driver may face charges
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
I guess the bigger question is, who waits 45 minutes for Taco Bell?
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Ole Miss students approve resolution to move confederate statue, next up will be finally admitting they lost the war
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
Anti-vaxxers attend a U.S. science panel, finally see the error of their ways. Just kidding, they attack the panel like a bad case of measles attacking an unvaccinated child
source: sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Calcutta Telegraph (India))
 
 
 
Satellite imagery confirms that India's airstrike on Pakistan was restricted to using harsh language only
source: telegraphindia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Did you know that after a divorce in Saudi Arabia, the ex-husband remains the guardian of the ex-wife? Well, now this American woman knows too
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Counterfeit money sprayed with starch to fool detection markers. Fark: Suspect's name is 'Honesty Beecher'
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Brits on a bender attempt to go to a McDonald's for Maccies at Gatwick Airport, wake up on a flight to Barcelona (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida doctor likes to buy his lube at CVS because that's where he also conveniently prints his child pornography photos
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The weather started getting rough, the mighty ship was tossed. If it wasn't for the courage of this fearless passenger, this video would be lost. The video would be lost
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Video shows what happens to a police officer when he's exposed to fentanyl
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Modern Metropolis)
 
 
 
Photoshop these stumps
source: mymodernmet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Outside Online)
 
 
 
It's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday. Post pictures of your dogs loafing on the couch in front of the fire while reading about this stray that bagged a 7,000 meter peak
source: outsideonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
University dean tells the school to get clucked
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Goodnight 58008 man
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PJ Media)
 
 
 
ISIS is now calling for an online jihad, which, if nothing is done, could eventually spell an end to retail jihad
source: pjmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
We're all farked
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
If you're teaching at a Christian school and move in with your boyfriend, you might not get your contract renewed
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Two sisters murder their father in what the local sheriff called a "perfect" crime. Then things get all Floridy
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
There's a lot to unpack in this headline
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Get ready for the end of the depression epidemic and the start of the esketamine epidemic
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A history of when the CIA waged war on the cult of Scientology--and lost
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Who else than Florida Man stabs someone as revenge over stolen PlayStation when only XBox is worth killing for?
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
"Sheriff's office officials granted his client's request just hours after he mentioned the lawsuit to county attorneys"
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
-listers
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Your maximum Canadian headline of the day: Mounties rescue beaver near Sobey's
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Apparently a bobcat weighs more than a pedestrian. It must be a witch
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Duck gets sucked at Glory Hole
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 05, 2019
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
City named for trees considers banning new ones if they might shade someone's solar panels
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Is that a $ 4,000 bottle of Remy Martin liquor in your pants or are you just glad to see me?
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
Fourteen "clever" uses for your dishwasher if you're a disgusting ass person
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Atlanta)
 
 
 
You know, if this guy just had a supply of puppies, he could make a good living
source: fox5atlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(skeptical kitten)
 
 
 
Anti-vaxxers now claim having your pets vaccinated can cause a range of diseases and disorders - including autism. Your dog wants a routine
source: skepticalkitten.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Just goes to show you: never try and steal a car after a fresh snow
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Guy pays $1,000 for a shrimp. Probably a scam-pi. He got prwnd
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
It's easy to finger out why this billboard is creating controversy
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
Apotex's Drospirenone and Ethinyl Estradiol birth control pills being recalled due to packaging error that may cause 'lack of efficacy,' also spelled 'b-a-b-y.'
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Western Union quit telegram service in 2006. But the occasional straggler of a telegram still gets delivered
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Oh no, we're changing the site again!
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Park your car on the street near NYPD's flag football game? That's a towin'
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this danger lurking in the water
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Video explains a lot about golfers, snowmobile users and Michigan residents
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
India: WE'RE #1 WE'RE #1 and #2..and uh, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 20, 21...uh, this...this looks bad, make it stop
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
She can reapply for parole in three years. How much is that in dog years?
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Don't count your chickens before they hatch. Don't whistle past a graveyard. Don't mortgage the entire future of your school based on the appraised value of donated Chinese art
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Humble man pleads guilty to murdering his wife; no longer believes he's perfect in every way
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aeon.co)
 
 
 
Meta-analysis says antidepressants may not work. You knew this already, but everything is horrible and you should probably just start drinking heavily again
source: aeon.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Rocket launcher found in Florida Man's luggage at Pennsylvania airport. Or as Florida calls it, outreach
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Fighting dog and cat knock over space heater, start house fire. Red Barn seen buzzing the neighborhood
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marine Corps Times)
 
 
 
"Did we just become best friends? YEP. Do you wanna do karate in the garage? YEP"
source: marinecorpstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
B-52 tours disputed islands in South China Sea. Bang bang bang on the door baby
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Masturbating school bus grandpa strikes again
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme - Wait; That wasn't in a Star Wars film
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
An appeals court orders a new trial for a Hindu doctor because a juror was upset that he didn't place his hand on a Bible when being sworn in. God bless America
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Sometimes, a long-term problem will solve itself, as was the case with this man and his backyard lion breeding program
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
DUI "expert" charged with... earning continuing education credits?
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
Man loses Picasso on train. He shouldn't worry about it, any five-year-old can make him another one
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Jellyfish apparently develop an anus only as an as-needed basis. Imaginary cover bands and music mashup styles in the comments
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Star (Malaysia))
 
 
 
PreCrime in your surveillance cameras? It's more likely than you think,citizen
source: thestar.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida man's arrest report checks nearly all the keywords: ☑ Child neglect - ☑ Illegal alien - ☑ Drunk - ☑ Ramen Noodles - ☐ Alligator
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good News Network)
 
 
 
An insurance company hid the key to a $10,000 prize deep in the terms of every policy it sold. Only one person found it
source: goodnewsnetwork.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Moose Jaw Mayor calls a moose truce between Mac the Moose and Big Moose
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
South Carolinian claims record $1.5 billion lottery prize, plans to buy a few small things within that budget, like a car, some furniture, and South Carolina
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 15 Madison)
 
 
 
Happy Meal toys were much better back when I was a kid, although this one is perfectly functional
source: nbc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
P.U.T.W.B. - Picking Up Trash while Black is the latest thing police need to be involved with in Boulder, CO
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 32 Chicago)
 
 
 
State climatologist: Illinois saw cold, stormy February - Everyone in Illinois: No shiat, Sherlock
source: fox32chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Well, no Sacramento police officers will face charges for the shooting of an unarmed man name Stephon Clark, but at least 80 people so far who have a problem with that, including 3 clergy members, will
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
NewsFlash
 
Small IEDs found at Heathrow Airport and Waterloo Station in London
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VG Nett (Norway))
 
 
 
The "Tinder Swindler" who seduces and swindles young women for millions and is a fugitive from justice in several countries has been tracked down
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(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Farker Southparkcon's son is a male cheerleader accused of vaping, has his underwear searched, nothing is found and he is then suspended for eight days during finals with no way to appeal
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
The cool thing about a submarine is you're invisible if you stay below the surface. If
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(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
New Orleans wants to ban plastic Mardi Gras beads. Co-eds devastated as their reason to go Fat Tuesday celebrations will be ruined. Spectators are also heartbroken
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(Metro)
 
 
 
It's a tale as old as time. Boy meets girl. Boy dates girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy marries girl. Boy and girl fall in love with a bridesmaid. Boy and girl enter polyamorous relationship with bridesmaid and think it will end well
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Man under quarantine for measles sneaks past the deputy outside his house and goes to the gym
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
You may want to sit down for this, but established millennials living in expensive cities aren't entirely financially independent. Subby exasperated as he lives with three roommates and shares a phone plan with his mom
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(WGNO)
 
 
 
Cop slaps phone and flips off someone along a parade route. You can guess what happens next
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(WTVR)
 
 
 
Teen driver and passengers escape moments before two trains smash their stuck car, and um, wow, that was a car?
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(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snowblower
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
After realizing that maybe it would be a bad idea to let ALL of their customers die, Big Pharma introduces 'generic' insulin at half the price of brand name insulin. Isn't that nice of them? We should send a thank you card
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(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Latest LA. police chase has LAPD arresting vigilante who attempted his own P.I.T. maneuver on pursuit suspect
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
And the country breathes a sigh of relief
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
A second study has confirmed there is a link between autism and *not* being vaccinated. Surely the reaction to this from certain quarters will be reasonable and balanced
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(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
To close 'orgasm gap,' the National Film Board launches game to teach people about the clitoris. This is why Canada is so much cooler than the United States
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Gym teacher fired for playing 'Fortnite' with his students now suing to get an extra life
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(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man decides if he can't have his car, the impound lot couldn't have it either. If only he waited 20 minutes more before throwing the fire bombs
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(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Your dog's raw meat diet is going to kill you and your little dog, too
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(SoraNews24)
 
Weeners
 
Come for old man who used grandson's masturbatory aid as flower vase to honor grandma. Stay for grandson who matter-of-factly noted his old coworkers had given it to him as going-away present: "The only silver lining is that I hadn't ever used it"
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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
It's 270 miles to Canada, we've got $11k in a shoebox, a stolen gun, and it's snowing. Seems like a good time to randomly shoot at other cars
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(Above the Law)
 
 
 
You submitted a 25-hour workday in your request for attorney's fees, and the judge denies it. Do you: C) Call the judge a succubus. Bonus: In the appellate brief. Double bonus: Attorney was representing sexual harassment victim
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(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
This four-year-old kid learned the hard way how you can become kibbles 'n bits for man's best friend
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Mon March 04, 2019
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
You know what would make prison inmates less likely to shank people? Serving them better food. No. Seriously
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(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Troopers deploy spike strips to stop fleeing Fairbanks man, and he's caught after 19 blocks. Correction: 19 miles
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(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Oh, nothing, just another responsible gun owner. On horseback. Drunk. Riding through a cemetery. In Virginia. Shooting at the person who tells her she can't ride there
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(SFGate)
 
 
 
Interesting news for all of you who "majored" in marijuana during college: now you can actually major in marijuana
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(Geekologie)
 
 
 
Ah, jeez, dere goes my truck dere (NSFW language in video)
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(CBC)
 
Video
 
Subby is drunk and just saw a moose looking in his second story window
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(WMBF Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Someone in South Carolina finally picks up their tax bill
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(Quartz)
 
 
 
Working continuously for eight hours is outdated and unproductive; the optimally productive schedule is to work for 52 minutes, then rest for 17 minutes. Bonus: "rest" means no screen time, so I choose to interpret that as browsing Fark = work
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(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stoat
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(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) brings you two hours of songs with titles beginning with the letter "C"
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(Fark)
 
 
 
We've got Florida Man, British Sports hooliganism, and oddly enough, Nutella in the Fark Weird News Quiz, Feb. 17-23 Sandwich Spread Edition
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(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"I just stabbed my mother to death" "Ma'am, this is an Olive Garden"
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(The Drive)
 
 
 
Flight 4933 now arriving gate 8....gate 9.... gate 10....
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(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this huddle
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(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Riding your bike backwards on I-95 while half naked is no way to travel in Fl... actually this probably IS the proper way to travel in Florida. Carry on (NSFW language in video)
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(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Company that built the Florida International University bridge collapses
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(CBC)
 
 
 
Weapon X Program subject escapes containment facility
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(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Modern life hasn't changed the salt trade in Djibouti. To be fair, once you've had white gold in Djibouti, you don't go back
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(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Dashcam Avalanche is the name of my new microbrewery
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(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
The self-proclaimed Son of God causes major disruptions and consternation at jail. This is not a repeat from 32 AD
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(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Wisconsin is the "I've fallen and I can't get up" capitol of the US
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(Merriam-Webster)
 
 
 
Its National Grammar Day, so make sure your not doing bad grammerizing, or grammar nazi's will tell you where to go to
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(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
If you're the vandal responsible for hammering off the heads of two statues in Montclair, the police would like you to stop. It's not hammer time
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(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Crazy things people flush down the loo uncovered when sewer workers haul out 'swamp monsters'
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(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Drunk bus driver says 'Fark it, I'm out,' leaves bus full of kids at gas station and walks away
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(ABC News)
 
 
 
Twenty horses have died in two months at the Santa Anita Racetrack in California. Stumped local police brought in outside detectives who quickly found the most likely cause: a 30 foot moat filled with sulphuric acid at the end of the track
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
Just how powerful was yesterday's tornado that killed 23? It flung a billboard 20 miles and landed it intact
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(WTXL Tallahassee)
 
 
 
Student loan companies convince Florida to suspend the licenses of nearly 1,000 doctors and nurses, and then garnish 100% of the wages from whatever new job they get before dying of starvation
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(UPI)
 
 
 
Study suggests that your happiness in marriage may depend on whether you or your partner are genetically able to produce a "love hormone." Also if you have a buttload of money
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Decades of water mismanagement and over exploitation have led to crises not only in California, but throughout the American West. But look -- there's a huge aquifer under the Mojave. Hey, let's pump it
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(BBC)
 
 
 
"Duct-Taped Baby Turtles" is also the name of my alternative 80's synth-pop cover band
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(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this revival
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(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
'Masked person walks into Davenport credit union, looks around, immediately runs out' Guess he realized he was in Davenport
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(Snopes)
 
 
 
Snopes investigation alleges that a number of local "news" outlets are run by GOP consultants funded by conservative PACs
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(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
You need to check your parents' blood pressure medication again - that recall has been expanded. Yes, again
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(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
You donated to the World Wildlife Federation? Nice job supporting torture you did there
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(The Root)
 
 
 
Flint Michigan needs pure drinking water. Jaden Smith steps up
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(Fox News)