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Sun March 03, 2019
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Remember that story of the woman who gave money to a panhandler at a traffic light and got stabbed to death for her trouble? About that
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
"[W]hen it gets to the point where an adult can't even dress up in a tail without getting banned, something has gone seriously wrong." Narrator: Things went wrong long before
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
The pro-plague movement is having a disastrous impact
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meet the man who drinks a pint of his own urine every day claiming he has never felt healthier and that it tastes like Heineken. What a pisser
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSFA)
 
 
 
At least 23 dead after tornadoes touch down in Lee County, Alabama
source: wsfa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Man who tries to get out of jury duty by shouting "he is guilty, he is guilty" outside the courtroom does, in fact, get out of jury duty
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cross-country competitors
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Ever have a bowman in a village force your rifleman to retreat in Civ? It's like that, but real
source: graphics.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Man with sword shot by police after jumping from burning house. There can be only one. Also, how is this not Florida?
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Air Force Times)
 
 
 
United States Air Force: Cleaning up Navy messes since 1947
source: airforcetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
CNN en route to supposed MH370 crash site in Cambodia (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this emotional support ... WTF
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Not news: Pilot crashes banner plane. Florida: into a condo building. Phrasing: "..he impacted so many people's lives"
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Decatur Herald-Review)
 
 
 
The Herald & Review: Reporting the news other sites are afraid to cover
source: herald-review.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heavy)
 
 
 
A 70-year-old model steals the show at Paris Fashion Week
source: heavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
First there was the fake sexologist, but that's just one man, one scam. How about a fake internationally touring orchestra?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BizPac Review)
 
 
 
School officials ban kids from riding in limos because everyone can't afford it. But now how will the better people keep the lesser people in their place?
source: bizpacreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Now that's what you call job security
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
It never looks good when your unfaithful wife dies under mysterious circumstances and police find the phrase, "what happened to cheating spouses in historic Aztec tribes" in your browser's search engine
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Next time the drive-thru kid asks if you want extra sauce with your cheesy gordita crunch meal, say yes. It could save your life
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Self Defense Force defends itself from recruitment poster depicting long-legged short-skirted anime girls from Strike Witches: "We thought that the content appeals to young people. We didn't really insist on using female characters"
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this um, fashion?
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
"Have you got any identification?"
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Tomboy to school: I want to wear pants at my graduation instead of being forced to wear a dress. School to tomboy: Okay. Girls can wear pants like boys ... but only if they wear ties
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
If you really want to be healthy you should avoid sugar, get plenty of rest, and watch Christmas movies year round
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Hey, everybody, they're having a fire sale down at the Tesla dealership
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sponsored by your local car wash association
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
After 146 years, Coors to charge for tours of flagship brewery. You can still watch horses pissing in stables for free
source: theknow.denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
I'm going to be a bit late for work today
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Minnesota truck driver goes all "Final Destination". Difficulty: On himself
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Meet the people whose job it is make sure the Alaska Iditarod is fair --- The dog drug testers: aka the 'pee catchers'
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
Hope you're happy now druggies of the world, addicted parrots are raiding poppy farms
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
"You need to move." "No, you need to move." "I'm not moving. You need to." "No, you do." "No, you do." "No, you do." "No, you do." "No, you do." "Not me." SERENITY NOW
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 02, 2019
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia's government developed an app that lets men track the movement of women, and it's on the Google Play store. Where it will remain, because Google refuses to piss off the Saudi government
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
It's nice to know there are still some good people in the world
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Manchester beer festival saved from the indignity of being cancelled due to the venue not having a liquor license
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Arab woman arrested by Alabama sheriff after she was found with black face. Warning: Stories on Fark less racist than they appear
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fat Jimmy)
 
 
 
Local bike shop installs craft brewery. Subby would have a clever headline but he is a little buzzed and two tired
source: bicycleretailer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
Boobies
 
Always remember to remove your wedding ring before starring in a gay porno (NSFW)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cosplayer
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 5 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Library patron who, as a child, stole 1968 issue of Life Magazine featuring The Beatles returns it after 51 years along with $100 check to cover late fees, says he just couldn't let it be
source: news5cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
The government is giving away free lighthouses. In Florida. Perfect for the retiring Farker who just wants to sit in the sun all day and be left alone
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 25 Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
In the dictionary, next to the word Enabler, there's a picture of this girl's mother
source: okcfox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
The secret history of Nutmeg Island, the piece of land that the Dutch traded to the British for Manhattan
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bizarre mask
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Remember how every news outlet reported smaller IRS tax refunds? Well, about that
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Because if there's one thing sex offenders need, it's being taught Jane Austen
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
But we were told to never violate these rules of grammar; have we been lied to?
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Good News: Your probation officer receives a letter from the governor granting you a pardon. Bad News: The name of the state is misspelled on the letterhead, the phone number is handwritten, and verbs are missing
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
America's weirdest tourist attraction just happens to be a place called "night court" in Manhattan
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 25 Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Alabama man allegedly tries to make his mom taste the heat, not the meat
source: okcfox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The more things change, the more they (sadly) stay the same
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Do you like snow? I mean, REALLY like snow? Well then this is the weekend you've been waiting for, Mr. Snow Miser
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this commuter rail, fail
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Yes, your cat is a jerk. On the other hand, my cat is a happy well-adjusted feline genius. Happy Caturday
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
An exhaustive analysis has yielded the Top 10 Florida Man stories, objectively ranked by the F.L.O.R.I.D.A. Man Scoring System: "Firearms (or other weapons), Locations, Objects, Reasons for Arrest, Injuries, Drugs/alcohol, and Animals"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
The way high school is structured is insane; here's the way it should be
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
There is no end in sight for teacher strikes
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
A 20mm Vulcan mounted on a Prius. Need I say more?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Hawaii : No weed for you
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You can now buy a town in Georgia for the cost of a home in San Francisco
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
High school student lives a real-life 50 First Dates after she suffered a sports injury in 2017 that left her with anterograde amnesia
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Slate asks the tough questions, like "Should you throw cheese in your baby's face?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
For some reason, the world's largest John Mellencamp fan doesn't understand why his neighbors don't share his enthusiasm
source: cbsaustin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
There's a lot of profit to be had by running fake rehab clinics
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State)
 
 
 
After "much soul searching," Alaskan mayor naturally vetoes LGBTQ anti-discrimination bill with wide public support
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
Let he who hasn't laced his stepfather's Red Bull with drugs normally reserved for use on pregnant cows throw the first stone
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
When you play the game of thrones, you win, or you die, or you float out to sea
source: 96rock.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 01, 2019
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Two thousand dollars in cash, five pounds of high grade pot, 29 grams of meth, 1,000 ecstasy pills, 31 grams of fentanyl and a stolen pistol. Shoot a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff. If he survived
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Who needs pals like these: Bigamist busted after pals tells his wife they've been invited to his second wedding
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Portland declares atheism IS a religion
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
If you aren't handicapped, don't park in a handicapped space. In front of a sheriffs office. With stolen items in your car
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Shoot your son four times because he drank your vodak? That will be two years probation and a $657 fine, officer
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida School Resource Officer arrested for child porn. On the bright side, they took away his gun before he could go off with a bang
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
It's kind of like when a Fark admin creates chaos by "falling" on a circuit board while doing a server upgrade during peak hours. Except it's Amtrak during rush hour in the third largest city in the country
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCCI Des Moines)
 
 
 
Iowa Senate panel approves bill to fund private school and home schoolers
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Denver Airport is the first in the nation with a talking interactive Gargoyle
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Game)
 
 
 
Photoshop this odd sport
source: i2.wp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hey everyone, let's pretend we all own slaves
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Today's recipe for 'Toasted Tesla X on the Bay' requires some fairly expensive ingredients
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Nearly 2/3 of Millennials regret buying a home, citing maintenance and avocado costs
source: x1015.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Ow, I shot my balls
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
♬ Some people call 'em Spain's cowboys / Some call agriculture life tough / Some populations decrease (waaa-waaa) / So they seek out the Caravan of Love ♬
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Casey Anthony gets away with murder. This is not a repeat
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Protip: If you've been busted for a home invasion robbery, don't make your defense that you're not a thief by saying you make your money through prostitution
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Sun)
 
 
 
Boston sees New York's pizza rat, and raises it up to rat seagull
source: ottawasun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
It doesn't get any more Atlanta than this
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
Where's Bigfoot? Check Instagram
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gizmo)
 
 
 
Photoshop this grain auger
source: westfieldaugers.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Herald)
 
 
 
♪ Bonney Lake man flies over the ocean, Bonney Lake man flies over the sea, Bonney Lake man eats methamphetamines, bring back my aircraft to me ♪
source: courierherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"The friend struggled to describe what was happening to the interviewer, confusing the word vagina with Virginia during a separate interview with police." Either he needs remedial biology or geography
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Bitcoal
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
If you're on your 10th DWI and have an open beer in the cupholder, maybe don't park behind a cop and get out to chat with him
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insurance Journal)
 
 
 
There's driving drunk and hitting a car, but you're really upping your game when you hit 41 cars. In a row
source: insurancejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Community theaters forced To Kill 'Mockingbird' after lawsuit threat (tag is for the producer)
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Washington State Governor Inslee enters race for White House, possibly by being carried through the crowd by Russell Wilson
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KnoxNews)
 
 
 
Patches the giraffe has been euthanized, according to zoo officials. In lieu of flowers, please help dig a really long hole
source: knoxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
B-b-b-b-bump st-st-st-st-ock-ock-ock b-b-b-uyb-b-b-ack p-p-p-passesin Wa-wa-washington St-st-state
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Why would you call the police on a five-year-old? Oh, yeah. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
So-called "social media influencers" chastised for hanging out of a moving train for a photo-op. Both survived, so Darwin missed out
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The latest body art trend people are sure to regret later in life is tiny ear tattoos
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Much like subby's wife, world renowned sex expert was faking it the whole time
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
What has two heads, eight legs, ten eyes, and a double dose of NOPE? And of course, it's Australian
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man fakes kidnapping to avoid paying Super Bowl bet. Bonus: I can totally see William H. Macy playing him in the movie
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Lost Caravaggio painting thought "inadequate" and worthless by burglars who left it behind in an attic expected to fetch well over £100m at auction this summer
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida bicyclist struck by train in Orange County. Man, you gotta hate those things, always lurking in the last place you'd ever expect to find them
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Spend 20 minutes a day in a park, you might just feel a lot better about this sh*tty world
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Move Sig? Face great justice
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
It's not really a Texas execution unless a family fight breaks out
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Are you a writer? Do you have what it takes to help out a good cause? Are you wearing pants? Either way, the 2019 Fark Fiction Anthology is open for submissions
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Fox. Cops. Ops. Shots. Fox in copse. Cops stalk fox. Fox shocks cops, cop hops and flops. Shot from cop's flop blocked and stopped. Fox caught shot from cop and dropped
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Friday, March 1: San Jose Fark Party - Stone Brewing Tap Takeover at Market Beer Company with Drew and Stone co-founder Greg Koch
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Bonnie and Clyde wrote poetry - and it's going up for auction. Low price could be a steal
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Think you've had a hard time digging out from the weather this winter? Look at this house covered in ice near the edge of Lake Ontario in Pulaski, NY
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Mallets)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lawn game
source: middlesbroughcroquet.org.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Homeschooling in Iowa? The government wants to inspect your house, and children... Oh, and present your papers
source: caffeinatedthoughts.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Black man becomes head of neo-Nazi group
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ketosis puts the stank on EVERYONE'S hang-low
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Driver notices smoke and flames emerging from back of garbage truck he is driving, pulls over at a Bridge Club, dumps the flaming contents onto the parking lot so firefighters could extinguish the blaze, and that's when they found the dead cow
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
If you are an un-vaccinated person and were at Midway Airport in Chicago on Feb. 22, you should probably see a doctor
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
New bill aims to ban spanking kids in Florida schools
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
BYU police get caught stealing records from private county police database to hand over to the school to punish sexual assault victims and possibly get them expelled
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Tourists airlifted from Fraser Island after savage dingo attack. DEAR GOD, NILES
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Upset with Jehovah's Witness on beach, Florida Man lets his dog chew on the guy's religious material. Not surprisingly, the dog couldn't swallow any of it either
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
No deposit returned
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Teed off woman takes golf club to ATM
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 28, 2019
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Presumably with some fava beans and a nice Chianti
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityLab)
 
 
 
Gallant Berlin to spend €2 billion a year until 2035 to improve public transit. Goofus NYC to spend the same for two new subway stations (which will leak) and a rat mural
source: citylab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Utah House of Representatives passes bill to let drivers run red lights under certain circumstances, unwittingly giving drivers a reasonable chance of escaping those determined Mormon missionaries
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Turns out anti-vaxxers in California are doing what people who've wanted "medical" marijuana have done for years: doctor shop for medical exemptions
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this levitating winner
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Jersey City teens accused of stealing passwords to change grades. At least they didn't try to play Global Thermonuclear War
source: 1010wins.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Legislator thinks red light cameras will prevent drivers at railroad crossings from tempting the "train will always win" god
source: wcbs880.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBN Youngstown)
 
 
 
(o ) (°)
source: wkbn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Doctor stops gunman at veterans hospital by disarming the double-amputee patient. Pun intended
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these people pumpin' iron
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Headline: "How Patriots owner Robert Kraft could get off in prostitution case." Are we not doing phrasing anymore?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GQ)
 
 
 
Meet the man who looted nearly 200 museums, amassed a collection of art treasures valued at more than $1.4 billion and became perhaps the most prolific art thief in history
source: gq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Trimmer's new book "How to Avoid Stationary Objects" coming soon
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
If you don't pay your property taxes, the city will seize your pug
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Area man accused of threatening his family ends hours-long standoff with police after being offered a slice of pizza
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Momo is not coming to haunt your children as it's a hoax
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Mississippi makes it illegal to talk to minors about Richard Dawkins. How are kids going to learn about 'Match Game' or 'Family Feud' now?
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
A 6-year-old girl claims Momo showed up in her Peppa Pig video and threatened to kill her
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Thurs. Feb. 28 - San Francisco Fark Party: Rebecca Watson's Scientists vs. Comedians Quiz-O-Tron with Drew, then drinks somewhere after
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
A 48-year-old woman involved in a crash was given an emergency c-section by doctors who failed to realize she wasn't pregnant
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Ranger puts typewriter at bottom of 6-mile hike in Grand Canyon so people can type their thoughts and feelings. In related story, people under 30 have no idea what a typewriter is or how it works
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SILive)
 
 
 
It will soon cost drivers $19 to leave Brooklyn for Staten Island. NJ taking notes
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Mormon who once suited up as BYU's 'Cosmo the Cougar' mascot talks about decision to come out as gay, being the source of a lot of confused Pornhub searches
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Archaeologists discover Utah used to be cool
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Workout)
 
 
 
Photoshop this odd object training
source: cdn2.omidoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Seriously, who steals fire trucks from the station?
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Two legislators proposed bill to legalize recreational pot, tax its sales, turning whole state into giant Margaritaville
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
What's so terrible that the FBI would wait nearly five years to reveal an interesting detail about the confiscation of a huge trove of illegally obtained artifacts from a now dead man? Hint: Old Indian curse
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Texting while driving illegal. New hotness: Dog-petting while driving illegal
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXXV Waco)
 
 
 
"The Florida Department of Transporation didn't know about the misspelling until ABC Action News called asking questions"
source: kxxv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
"How A Nuclear War between India & Pakistan Could Reverse Global Warming". Someone really wrote that. No, really
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSB Radio)
 
 
 
Did you spend any time at work watching or catching up on the Cohen testimony yesterday? Congratulations, your Farking around collectively cost almost $2 billion in productivity. #totallyworthit
source: wsbradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
It's probably nothing but Dow Jones watchlist of 2.4 million "high risk" individuals has leaked. "Database was 'indexed, tagged and searchable.'" [your name here]
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
It's all fun and games until the reporter is licked
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Child mauled by emotional support pit bull. I guess unbridled rage is an emotion, so perhaps that's what the pit bull was helping to provide
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Tat for tit
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 721: "Stoned 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 27, 2019
(Investigative Post)
 
 
 
Congratulations, Buffalo, on your status as the nation's happening new driving-while-black revenue-generation hotspot
source: investigativepost.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
What the F is this North Carolina?
source: 945wfla.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
"How Florida weeds out questionable personalized license plates." The issue seems basicoontil you realize it's more than a biatchallenging to allow free expression yet block attempts to pushiat too far
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Why the Irish are the most pale people in the world. Hint: It's not because of the lack of sunlight in pubs
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Hide 'N Seek overachiever found alive after five hours buried under snow - in her car
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
California prison guards are accused of orchestrating "gladiator fights" by releasing inmates from rival gangs into the yard at the same time. Are you not entertained?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Crooks to cops: "Do ya job". Cops to crooks: "Ok then"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Ford wins 2019's J.D. Power award for best cargo storage. Be sure to check out the Methstang, the Methsplorer and the all-new Meth-150
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
In a new joint study by the Romero Sleep Institute and the No Sleep Sherlock Center, scientists reveal that parents sleep less during the first six years of their children's lives
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
"Why would you want to put poison in your body?" Maybe it's because I like getting high, and that makes me indifferent to the fact that the stuff I'm smoking contains hydrogen cyanide?
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Reporter gets plowed during live report. Fark: Twice
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wild conductor
source: stevenbeschloss.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Tongs turned into swords at this buffet brawl over crab legs
source: kfiam640.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
More than three dozen people hospitalized following chemical spill at water utility company in Alabama. Toxic avenger reboot?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
WaPo tracks Twitter to keep readers up to date on the latest trending Twitter memes, because otherwise democracy would die in darkness
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Headline: OMG, young people owe $1 TRILLION in debt. Reality: 1) Most of it is student loans, 2) Baby Boomers and Gen X owe two to three times as much, and 3) Avocado toast is delicious and usually inexpensive
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
News: woman shot at close range, rushed to emergency room. Fark: where she's nearly killed by her bra
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Recent storms rolling through did not rain on anyone's wedding day but the high winds did blow down the tornado siren
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Fark.com doesn't accommodate my chronic masturbation, so I'm going to sue
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Russian flooding makes California town an island. Whatever, just stay out of our elections
source: wflafm.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Rise in shark population off Cape Cod did not worry anyone until this marine researcher said it gives him nightmares. Everybody Panic
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL-TV Baltimore)
 
 
 
Every extra pint of beer takes 15 minutes off your life, which makes your average college student a time traveler
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pot
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
'Golden Girls' get into a fight, leaving one dead. No one puts Dorothy in the corner
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
No, we're not gonna farkin' research Stonehenge
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangkok Post)
 
 
 
A man, a plan, a canal - drunken cop
source: bangkokpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Remember when George Washington punched a tiger? No? Read about it here
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
People who believe in conspiracy theories are more likely to engage in petty criminal activity, according to study that was obviously funded by Soros
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Caption this elephantastic experience
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Any idiot can drive around down railroad crossing gates with lights flashing warning you not to do it. It takes a true fan of Darwin to ignore the warning and get hit by not one, but two commuter trains
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fast Company)
 
 
 
"How to spot fake photos online." Vreenak, do your thing
source: fastcompany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Get in the zone at Auto-Zone. Whoa whoa whoa, not that in the zone
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Crematorium discovers dead man still had a half-life
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
TotalFarkers please be sure to send your money to the new address here at Dan Curtis' Fark.com
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pocono Record)
 
 
 
After receiving a backpack of rabbiatchow instead of marijuana, someone finds the need to call the police and fabricate an armed robbery story
source: poconorecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
New study shows that Windows users are "baffled" by updates. Also by walking and chewing gum, toasting bread, locking down a trash can lid, shiny objects, loud noises, using the TV remote, soap, etc
source: zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Some students use grocery item to get drunk writes shocked author who obviously led a sheltered childhood
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
Weeners
 
An HOA with serious rocket ship issues attempts to fine one couple for the rocket ship their car left on the ground after a light snow
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KETV Omaha)
 
 
 
A 95 year old WWII veteran goes to Boston for book signing, ends up riding in a Sherman tank that saved his life during the war (with video goodness)
source: ketv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Protip: Don't park in front of a fire hydrant...ever
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Pakistan claims 2 Indian Jets downed, pilots captured. India claims 1 Pakistan jet downed and subby claims he is too tired for this and is heading back to bed
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Men's Health)
 
 
 
Nobody can agree on the right way to measure a penis. Subby's was in the Guinness Book of World Records, but then the librarian told him to take it out
source: menshealth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Heavy snow strands ice fishermen on lake. Wait, wasn't this a Frasier episode?
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Alabama man breaks into store to steal Honey Buns and milk, and snow wasn't even in the forecast
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
As Korea and Vietnam veterans keep passing away from old age, families keep finding the live grenades they brought home as trophies
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Will Cohen finger Individual-1? Will he out Client-3? Will give shiats-2? Buckle up, this is gonna be a doozy. THIS is your Michael Cohen testimony thread before the House Oversight Committee (~10am start time)
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman pole vaulting over the rainbows
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Dogs and magic tricks. It's your wonderful Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
And I would have gotten away with it too. If it wasn't for those pesky underpants
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Couple filmed trying to flag down their Caribbean cruise ship after turning up 45 mins late for return journey to Miami. Sorry folks, that ship has sailed
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Food strike at prison ends after hard-boiled eggs added to breakfasts. Cool Hand Luke nods approvingly
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bustle)
 
 
 
What's all this about Bear farking?
source: bustle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Proposed bill would remove the requirement that Iowa school districts have to employ a school nurse. Tag is for the kids
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Remember the shoplifting video where the guy falls through the ceiling? Negative 1 D&D inspiration
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(East Bay Times)
 
 
 
We investigated ourselves and we're not going to tell you a damn thing about our last 12,000 wrongdoers who we couldn't clear
source: eastbaytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
BAH GAWD KING, the United Methodist Church has been broken in half
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
"One suspect was described as a tan and white, older and chubby French bulldog named Butterbean. A search of animal hospitals and shelters turned up a file, but they would not provide more information as the incident did not directly involve him"
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KnoxNews)
 
 
 
Surprisingly nutty
source: amp.knoxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Police inform suspect arrested for DUI that warrantless roadside blood draws are mandatory. Courts: The police were mistaken, but we'll let it slide and allow the evidence since their hearts were in the right place
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
You've just been pulled over for doing 90+ in a 65 mph zone. Your best course of action is to accept the ticket and A) keep it under the limit, B) pull off the highway and take a breather, or C) resume your trip and immediately accelerate to over 100
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insurance Journal)
 
 
 
Just when you thought you couldn't have more hate for pharma companies, along comes Insys to prove you wrong
source: insurancejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Gin made in B.C. wins top award. The secret ingredient? Seaweed
source: vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Attention parents - - For seemingly the 100th time, DO NOT drive a car with your child sitting on your lap
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 26, 2019
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Since the defendant just got out of jail for rape and is on probation, it wouldn't be fair to send him to prison for this second rape. It's Double Secret Probation time
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
"Good Samaritan" who purchased $540 of Girl Scout cookies turns out to be a drug dealer. Well, at least he's buying as much crack as he's selling
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
The Grand Canyon became a National Park 100 years ago today. It's still there
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Woman tells police she was watching television when her cable-TV service was interrupted. You can imagine where it goes from here. Well, no, you probably can't
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
"When the Wolff-Alport Chemical Company was refining rare earth elements in the 1940s and 1950s, it did the responsible thing with all of the radioactive thorium waste it produced in the process: It dumped it into the sewer"
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OnFocus)
 
 
 
A Wisconsin dump truck driver on snow removal duty missed his morning coffee, but not the low hanging power lines
source: onfocus.news   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
In the tawny, luxury hipster paradise of Brooklyn, New York, there's still a five-block area that's so far back on the gentrification curve that you can still get shot if you hang out for, on average, 88.6 days
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Man throws coins into plane's engine for good luck. It must have worked since he didn't lose his tiger-repelling rock
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Everybody's going Bare tomorrow!
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
You'd think a day care employee who's also a former councilman and EMT captain would be the last person you'd expect to be arrested on charges of child porn. You'd think
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
500-mile wide Saharan dust plume brings heatwave, toxic levels of air pollution to A: Cairo? B: The Suez Canal? or C: Great Britain?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop Central Park
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Technology helps San Francisco erase 8,000 pot convictions. Mostly the ones that were handed out routinely at Grateful Dead concerts in the 60s
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
In retrospect, expert's "How to make child pron" exhibit might have been a bad idea
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Automation replaces yet another job: panhandling
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
It wouldn't be Fark without another naked burglar story: "The first thing that hits me is the smell. Sewer mixed with vomit mixed with B.O. mixed with dirty feet. Yeah, it made my eyes water"
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
China can now detect spies from the Ministry of Silly Walks
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Article purporting to be about celebrity bikini trends for summer is just an excuse for a lot of pics that could potentially interest the wandering gaze of a co-worker (NSFW images)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
If your job is to clear the frozen highways of Minnesota, bring along an antitank missile
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Obvious: Speed cameras are revenue cameras. Unlikely: Government official admits speed cameras are revenue cameras
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXII Winston-Salem)
 
 
 
Duke sucks, if you can afford it
source: wxii12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
Video
 
Do you use emojis? Congrats, you could go to jail. ;-)
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
The increase in dash-cams causing increase in street light observances
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cereal box
source: guerrillablog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New York's "kayak killer" is back in the water
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Watch a mounted NOPD officer play catch along a Mardis Gras parade route. No word if he called 'Go deep and watch out for the road apples'
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Stranded Amtrak train finally arrives at station. Victimized passengers shocked to discover they could simply exit train when it was stopped
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Clinic treats depression with ketamine. Hard to be depressed when you're asleep I guess
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(West Sussex County Times)
 
 
 
Telephone glitch leaves people talking to a clock. Alarming situation leaves many ticked
source: wscountytimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
"A 125-pound adult would have to consume 308 gallons of wine per day, every day for life to reach the US Environmental Protection Agency's glyphosate exposure limit for humans." So, Farkers
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Just another senseless drone shooting. Please when will someone think of the dronelings?
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
How NOT to sell a horse saddle on social media; strap it to a very pervy man with nothing but leather harnesses on
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Ex-NJ schools chief in public defecation scandal wants to keep his name in the news
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Plainclothes police officer planning to argue he "stood his ground" against a stranded motorist he shot dead after the motorist pulled a concealed gun when the officer failed to identify himself, and kept firing AFTER motorist threw away his gun
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
A strip club, a church and a gas station: Neenah community shelters I-41 crash victims
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Lawsuit seeks to close Nevada brothels. "Gov. Steve Sisolak's spokeswoman Helen Kalla said in an email that oiujlksadflj asiolejdfoihar"
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
It's not an OMG 'GHOST ISLAND' appearing out of nowhere without warning in a frozen lake unless it's a story in a British tabloid (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Pakistan's "India jettisoned tanks and fled" story starting to look more like a major airstrike and the first Indian crossing into Pakistani airspace since a full-blown war 50 years ago
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Virginia bill to ban handheld cellphone use while driving fails on account of lawmakers' concerns that police would use it as an excuse for racial profiling. What, by only pulling over Boost users?
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Wedding crasher caught on video stealing box of cards. This sequel sucks
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Mass media passing off crap as news drives real sales, becomes news. Somebody should write a book about this
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Dinosaur BBQ under fire for promoting sandwich as "The Robert Kraft", a jerked and pulled chicken sandwich
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
California's "big one" could be *spins wheel* a volcano
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
I shot an arrow into the air, It fell to Earth, I knew not where. Now change arrow to failed Soviet Venus probe that has been orbiting Earth for almost half a century
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
Maybe don't tell a prosecutor she's a "little girl [that] doesn't know how to act like a young lady." Come for the sexism, stay for the racist tidbit at the end
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
R. Kelly goes to McDonald's after posting bail, hopefully stayed away from the ball pit in the play area
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
AT&Time Warner
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Kim Jong Un took a 2 1/2 day train trip across China, and then drove another thousand miles to reach the summit location in Hanoi, because he didn't have an air-worthy plane that could make the trip, and was too embarrassed to borrow one from China
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
....and now you know about the Irish side of the Hitler family
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
NEW DATE Tuesday, Feb 26th: Farkette Turning Fifty - Las Vegas Fark Party
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
LAPD on the lookout for man who cut in line at a donut shop
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Today in headlines that make no sense: "Tiggers go for cheeky Nandos to look like normal people, but fail miserably." Tiggers?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
On the plus side, Amtrak is not charging the nearly 200 passengers stranded on their train since Sunday for food and water. I'll be in the bar car
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
The obesity epidemic in Britain finally hits the armed forces, the escape hatches on submarines will now be made bigger due to fatter Royal Navy sailors
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Two words: 'Vagina Designer'
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
How many Rhode Islands in a New York City?
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VG 24/7)
 
 
 
Fallout 76 players don't talk to one another, presumably out of shame
source: vg247.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military Times)
 
 
 
Humvee replacement Joint Light Tactical Vehicle, which the U.S. is buying 49,000 of, deemed "not operationally suitable" because of nitpicky things like blind spots and doors that won't open
source: militarytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Somebody)
 
 
 
Photoshop this classical music fan
source: incimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
So that you can take pictures of people screaming, puking, and being hit in the face with bugs while turning upside down at 70+ miles an hour, Cedar Point is going to allow people to take cellphones with them on their Steel Vengeance roller coaster
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Headline contest: Kim Jung Un takes a smoke break at the train station
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Memphis lawmakers want to charge officers with a felony if they turn off their body cameras
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Splinter News)
 
 
 
Installment of ICE as Planned Parenthood's replacement off to a rocky start despite much better funding
source: splinternews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
What rolls down stairs / Alone or in pairs, / And over your neighbor's dog? / What smashes your nose / And bloodies your clothes? / It's log, log, log
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Mother blows .254. In a row?
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
The good news is that they got to experience an overnight train trip
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Vaccine scepticism grows in line with rise of populism and presumably mommy blogs
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Can Man kicks the can
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cardinal Pell granted free education in criminal justice
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
One nuclear power just bombed another. Sleep tight, y'all
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Tesla proves its endurance with battery that remains on fire for two days (so far)
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
They chose... poorly
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
If a food truck will cut corners with their gas lines, what will they do with your food?
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 25, 2019
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
An organization is so unruly that banks, accountants, and lawyers don't want to work with it. Is it: A) a drug cartel, B) white supremacist group, or C) an HOA in an affluent suburb of a major American city
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN posts its weekly "watch this airplane try to land in strong winds" video. Look guys, we've all seen a crab landing before, so why don't you just move along and...okay wait, WTF is wrong with this British Airways A320?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Florida private prison lobbyist jailed after drunkenly crashing his Lamborghini. Anyone else need a hot towel?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Malfunctioning escalator fails to become stairs, becomes mouth of hell instead
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Americans use too much toilet paper, which is wiping out forests and sending the environment up shyte creek
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Paul's Memory Bank returns tonight (8PM ET) as the DJ listens to the wind howl outside. Tonight, 2 hours of songs whose title begins with "B"
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this selfie time
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Apparently slapping someone and screaming racial slurs at them is wrong now
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Remember kids: Sideways for attention, longways for results
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
NFL may punish Patriots owner for engaging in illegal activity because their "Personal Conduct Policy applies equally to everyone in the NFL." Equally... So, if he also hit her he'll be suspended for two games, if he smoked pot with her... 16 games
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Forget Goat Yoga, forget Rage Yoga, there's a new yoga in town: Taliban Yoga. "We will make the Taliban do yoga with us"
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
In 1909, it took two days to drive from Washington, DC to Richmond, VA. It now takes up to 47 hours due to traffic
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Whiteout conditions cause 131 car pile up on southbound I-41 in Wisconsin, preventing hundreds of victims from getting the hell out of Wisconsin
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this classroom
source: audiovisual-installations.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
It's sad to pay respects to a loved one who's passed away and then be killed by a speeding car right outside the funeral home, but you really do have to admit the convenience factor
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The headline is that anger is contagious on social media thanks to the "Greater Internet Farkwad Theory" the buried lede is that FB allowed a researcher to conduct an experiment to emotionally manipulate 700,000 people without their knowledge or consent
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"It was love at first sight, apparently" - why intel officials are worried about the Trump-Kim summit. AMD officially ambivalent
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
America's favorite fear network tells the gripping tale of the "ice tsunami"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The obsessive story of people who shared the terrifying memory of a lost Sesame Street cartoon starring the "Crack Master," and its mysterious reappearance into their lives
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Instagram post leads to Instarrest
source: sarasotanewsradio.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Hey, I know. Let's protect elephants by allowing hunters to shoot them and then requiring that their meat be ground up into dog food
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
A Charleston officer is under investigation for kindly helping a man with eight broken ribs and a punctured liver to fill out and sign his form refusing medical treatment
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bangladesh plane hijacker shot dead by special forces. Torque helped with the bullet, friction took care of the organs and gravity did the rest
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Snake gets bored with Australia, hitches a ride to Scotland in tourist's luggage
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
These men of genius planned to fence a camera marked KPIX 5 somehow
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ahead of the Trump-Kim summit, Vietnam gets an unwanted lesson on the Streisand effect
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
'Biblical' plague of locusts in Egypt sparks today's 'it's the END of the world' apocalyptic WARNING (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Parents hired private investigator to document their son's erratic behavior shortly before he allegedly murdered them, which simultaneously made the PI's job easier and made him less likely to be reimbursed for expenses
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
CDC on latest salmonella outbreak: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
'The mayor of Oklahoma City is celebrating the completion of a personal mission: ridding the city's airport of cow-tipping T-shirts.'
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop these plant stands
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Brazilian biologists mystified how a whale carcass ended up on land, far away from its natural habitat. Botanists aren't so sure about the bowl of petunias either
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
'On February 16 flyers were found across Johnson County Iowa saying "Keep Iowa Nice, Call ICE."' Good thing that state doesn't have any exaggerated impact on national politics
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Elderly couple realizes Holiday Inn hotels are MUCH cheaper by the day than a nursing home
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Flushing Yorkshire puddings down toilets? Luxury. When we were young, we 'ad to get up at three in t'mornin' and dig great big 'ole in t'ground with teaspoon to clog t'drains with our puds, if we were lucky
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Joey, have you ever been in an Egyptian prison?
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
♬ High on a hill was a yoga goat horde / Lay-ee odle, lay-ee odle, lay-hee-hoo / "B-a-a-maste" sets Guinness new world record / Lay-ee odle, lay-ee odle-ooo ♬
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The store manager had a choice: Offer to help the disabled woman pack her grocery bags, or ban her for being too slow. Well, option 1 isn't going to get your store a free mention on Fark.com, now, is it?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Stop filming, start running. Seriously (NSFW language)
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
A 24-year-old man was killed Saturday evening when the snowmobile he was riding in Florida went out of control and struck a tree. Palm tree?
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
You know that time you had a make out session to Barry White? Yeah, but not in the back of a police car
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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