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| Sun February 10, 2019 |
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School cancels Charles Darwin musical following complaints from Christian parents. Which turns out is the very definition of irony
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New Haven community activists rally against local billboard advertising: A) support for Trump; B) abortion services; or C) pot is legal only 60 miles away in Massachusetts
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PSA: Do not shake hands with Fox News host Pete Hegseth, or touch anything he has touched
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Photoshop this ice cream lady
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*smash* Where's the beef? *smash* *smash* Where's the beef?
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It doesn't matter that you're turning yourself in on murder charges sir, we cannot arrest you without proper ID
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Snowboarder: "Hey, since there isn't any traffic out in this snowy weather, I think I'll try to jump over the road." Morgan Freeman: "That's when he found out that there was, indeed, traffic that fateful day"
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Photoshop these pigs
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Children are at risk of grooming via Tinder and Grindr, leading one to wonder--WHO THE HELL LETS THEIR KIDS GET ON DATING SITES?
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If the owner is pointing a gun at you, maybe you shouldn't try to repo his car. And if the repo guys are driving away with your car on the tow truck, maybe you shouldn't shoot at them
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Attention, burgeoning criminals: committing acts of wanton graffiti could cause you or your family to go bankrupt. So stop thinking you're the next Banksy--he's just as much a criminal as you
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Reports that one of the escapees was named "Caesar" have not been confirmed by authorities (now with video)
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Not news: Phone scammer tries to get money from elderly couple. News: When the scam fails, he threatens violence. Fark: Against a former FBI and CIA Director
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One assumes the auction house did not see this coming
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Aussie lady journeys through a deadly wasteland with desperate inhabitants, roaming gangs of savage criminals, and scarce gasoline. Plot twist: Mexico
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| (BBC) |
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Photoshop these three chilling birds
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CSB Sunday Morning: I've got a bad feeling about this
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FTFA: "When the prayers were over, the boys and girls as young as 6 would march off to bed. Sometimes, the dorm dad would trail behind the girls, slip into their rooms and do ungodly things to them in the dead of night."-And they can never be charged
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Eighteen-year-old decides to defy parents and get vaccinated for the first time in his life
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Seat moved? Mirror a little off? Here's a crazy idea: somebody is stealing your vehicle and returning it, night after night after night
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A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, kneeling during the pledge of allegiance, obedient, cheerful, thrifty... Wait, what?
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There are worse ways to die than falling into a tank of hot sulfuric acid, but Subby can't think of any
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So, what you're saying is (•_•) / ( •_•)⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■) Dyson sucks?
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Venezuela votes Giant Meteor
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Smoking can kill, but usually not this fast
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| Sat February 09, 2019 |
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The Worst British Tourist Ever gets six months in an Indonesian prison for being rebellious. Why, yes, there *is* video of the offense that led to the sentence, also known as "Exhibit A"
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News: Woman arrested for burglary in Chilton County, AL. Fark: Wife of Chilton County town police chief arrested by State Bureau of Investigation for burglary
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"After careful consideration the Duke of Edinburgh has taken the decision to voluntarily surrender his driving licence"
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What happens when you flunk out of the Sacha Baron Cohen school of comedy?
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This Daily Mail headline is so poorly written: I was worried I might be having a stroke while I read it. Oh, smells like my toast is ready
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| (Some Guy) |
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Tennis Match, outer space edition
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Doki Doki isn't okey dokey, may lead a kid to the pokey or even croakey
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Photoshop these perky pants
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Ex-NYT chief Jill Abramson's book lamenting the decline of journalistic ethics is riddled with inaccuracies and instances of plagiarism. Oops
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Miss Ukraine stripped of her crown because she was "hiding something", if you know what I mean (possible nsfw content on page)
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Man flees police custody. Last name is apt
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I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's Mr. Ed hitting a homer off Sandy Koufax
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Ho-hum: residents swarm grocery stores in anticipation of snowstorm. Everywhere else: beer, wine, potatoes, eggs, bread., etc., the first to be cleaned out. Portland: kale, of course
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Rich white woman diligently fighting to keep her children safe from slight chance they will encounter minorities & poors
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| (Some Guy) |
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Attention wordsmiths and Scrabble players "hammajang" added to the Oxford English dictionary. Click the link if you want to know what hammajang means
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Key Takeaway - Somehow, the Republican anti-porn crusaders have managed to view 88% of all porn videos
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Ah, the good ol' drunk pilot reason to cancel a flight
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Signs, signs, everywhere signs, blocking out the scenery and breaking British minds
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Stock tickers, celebrity yoga, and Florida College Student all await you on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Jan. 27 - Feb 2 So Much For Spring Edition
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Photoshop this plane
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All good things come to those who wait: two felines named Peak-a-Boo and Daisy Doo, have finally found their furever home after waiting 670 days in a shelter. Welcome to a happy Caturday
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Hundreds of deluded idiots rally to preserve right to not vaccinate children amid a plague outbreak
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Iran inaugurates medium-range ballistic missiles. Apparently, these can fly across the street as opposed to their long-range missiles that can make it all the way across town
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We ain't sayin' your infrastructure is old, Albany, but a wood water main from the 1700s might need replacing by now
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If you don't think pet dogs should donate blood, you might want to steer clear of California
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Veterinarian sentenced to six years in prison for trafficking Doperman Pinscher puppies
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It's nice to see the United States as the one putting underhanded strategic leverage on Russia, rather than the other way around, again
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Could mass incarceration be rolled back like prices at Walmart?
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Attention: that enormous crater that opened in the parking lot is not a sinkhole. Carry on
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It's so cold in Montana right now you can ice skate on the largest Superfund site in the country
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It wasn't the airplanes that brought down King Kong, it was the 2lbs of black tar heroin he was smuggling
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Eighty-five year-old Holocaust survivor's funeral attended by the last person who knew him. Oh, and also by 200 total strangers who came out in the middle of a Toronto winter to honor him. I'm not crying, you're crying
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| Fri February 08, 2019 |
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Boston police officer on paid vacation after stripper grabs his Glock
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Scientists conduct trial to test "Beer before wine and you'll feel fine; Wine before beer, better fear." The outcome? Methodology poor; need funding for more
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Woman goes in to get liposuction, wakes up to find she's been given a new nose. Surgeon says he just did her a 'favor' (possible nsfw content on page)
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Poignant maternity photo of mother breastfeeding a baby gator, complete with boots, tattoos, Bud Light, a gun and the only flag that makes sense
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It was not love at first sight: Female London Zoo tiger 'overpowered', killed after being introduced to male for first time
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HHS: We warned you this would be a disaster
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Dunkin's new slogan "America Runs On Hep-A" needs some work
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Teenager rescued two days after Istanbul building collapse, was still playing Fortnite
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The evidence behind New York City's greatest urban legend: The alligator in the sewer
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Photoshop this cosplayer
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Did you eat super spicy food last night? Because the Hubble telescope has spotted a big storm around Uranus. Uh huh huh
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Jeff Bezos Photo Controversy should send "chills down the spines of billionaires everywhere." Which is stupid. Doesn't this writer know billionaires can afford spine warmers?
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Stop me if you've heard this before. So a man, a boy and a white rat in a not so secured cage walk into a McDonalds
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Flyover states: LOL, stupid California and the Southwest crying about expensive water, just live where the water is. Great Lakes region utilities: Um yeah, about that...?
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What's the point of having a boat if you can't drink on it?
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This Japanese guy is a real Heel, even for an Arch Criminal. This Soleless fellow looks straight-laced, but really, he's a Dirty Sneaker
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Latest thing that's going to kill us all: This mysterious ooze leaking out of a New York City subway station exhaust vent
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Photoshop this man raveling in his work
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San Francisco police have released a sketch of the "Doodler" killer from the 1970s. They deny he may have since taken a job with Google
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Six inches of snow forecasted in Seattle this weekend. Grocery store shelves are currently empty
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New Zealand wiped off the map. Hardly anyone noticed
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Pecker promises a hard, penetrating investigation into Bezos' claims of blackmail, says neither he nor his organization dropped the ball on this scandal
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New Hampshire Man facing 63 years in prison claims the 'safe word' was never used during a sex act that ended when someone got threatened with beheading
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Lorena Bobbitt regrets being cut off from the national conversation about domestic violence
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Woman posted a picture on Facebook of herself on top of her damaged car. The damage was due to her trying to run over her ex-boyfriend and a female acquaintance (with SFW video of incident). That Facebook picture came in handy to the local police
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| (KION) |
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Woman arrested for pushing over 15-foor crucifix, vandalizing church, all before the very eyes of God's surveillance cameras
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Drew is finally out of the closet
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This is wonderful: robbers in clown masks, machetes, grandmother counterattacks. Fark: with a kid's scooter
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Baby, if you've ever wondered - NO, IT'S NOT US! PAY ATTENTION, DAMN IT!
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Man wakes up from 6-week coma, celebrates Christmas in February with family
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Australian version of "adorable raccoon with a jar stuck on its head" is still endearing, despite featuring a venomous copperhead and an angle grinder
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New Hampshire supreme court upholds the conviction of three women arrested for going topless on a beach, saying the law doesn't discriminate on the basis of gender or violate the women's right to free speech
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I was in the pool
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Science proves that the old farts in Florida can't drive
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The naughtiest real estate listing you'll see today. Or tomorrow. Or probably ever. "But the twist is it has this sex oasis in the basement"
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Eugene, Oregon: Come join us for a beer and watch/discuss some Cohen testimony, Friday, February 8th
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Report finds electric cars lose efficiency in a polar vortex. Subby plans to laugh at them from his gas-powered car as soon as someone gives him a jump start
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Giant heroin spoon sculpture moved to drug makers office gates
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Science proves that positive thoughts can improve your health and negative thoughts can harm it. Should we warn the poltab?
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The country where lesbians communicate in code. NO, not farkistan
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Erupting Indonesian volcano spewing ash and lava, as opposed to, say, unicorns and ranch dressing
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Photoshop this owl
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Temperature changes create icy 'ghost apples' at orchard. Waaaaay cooler than road apples
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Unclear if ATM thieves are getting more or less sophisticated as these ones used improvised explosives to get the machine out of the wall. This one's a bit close to home as the car used was found 2 streets away from Subby's mum
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GWB to NJ drivers: Thou shalt not cross
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Snow lodged up against snow lodge lodges lodgers in their snow lodge and there snow lodgical thing to do but sit and wait for rescue
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Miami Gardens HS student improves SAT score too much, accused of cheating
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Australia's Bureau of Meteorology quantifies volume of water overflowing a dam in terms of saltwater crocodile per cubic metre
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Even if you're single you should still shop at Costco for those great deals on alcohol to help silence every night the aching reminders that you're still single
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Yeah, you should never corner and grope an underage waitress in a bathroom stall. Especially on your wedding night
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"There is no crisis and we don't want a wall." Was said by A Nancy Pelosi? B: Jimmy Kimmel? or C: Several Texas border sheriffs?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ceiling tile man is watching you with cold soulless icy blue eyes
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| (Some Guy) |
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Very happy man arrested after breaking into couple's home in the middle of the night and asking for a place to stay. The very happy man even got a nice striped jumpsuit. He's very happy about that
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Any better advice?
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With apologies to the Bard, something's rotten in the Province of Newfoundland and Labrador
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| Thu February 07, 2019 |
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Helicopter Parenting: It works. Details to the right, denial and ridicule by losers to the left
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Most young women don't identify as feminist. But don't worry, all the old men on Fark are here to correct them
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Instacart thought long and hard about policy, decides just the tip left employees unsatisfied, promises a more thoughtful, committed working relationship moving forward. Mr. Pink nods in approval
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Man jokes that his wife is crazy, but it'll be ok as long as he "hides the steak knives." Take a stab at what happened next
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Sears CEO: I want to use this other company that I own to buy out the company that I just bankrupted. Federal judge: Seems legit. Approved
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What's the real story here: (i) that members of the Queen's royal Grenadier Guards robbed a 7/11; or (ii) that there is a real, live, human man named Elnur Bracegirdle?
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FDA reports more cases of rare anaplastic large cell lymphoma linked to breast implants, urges doctors, patients to watch for fluid buildup, masses around implants. Save the Tatas
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Photoshop this whale
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How many licks does it take to get the the center of Florida politics? Unfortunately, this politician has just resigned, so we may never know
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Joint Chiefs General of National Guard reminds all Air Force personnel to always double-check uniform before appearing on nationally televised SOTU address
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Wife of horse's ass gets her wish for a smoking-hot body
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Monster fish "big enough to swallow a child" captured off coast of Fukushima. The locals only know it by one name: Codzilla
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Sometimes you can't, or are afraid to try, to improve on the original headline: "Attempted burglar with history of horse molestation arrested with taser, large sex toy"
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Arizona lawmaker wants the state to invoke the "If it's yellow let it mellow" law
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Photoshop this flower
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We have a snowball fight here with the police taking on the children. It will be a fun matchup, folks. Tl;dr no casualties but tactical shields were deployed
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How do you do, fellow evangelical kids?
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One-armed college student, who goes by the username "Hand Solo", builds himself a robotic prosthetic arm using Lego bricks
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Jail-O General Pop for Bill Cosby
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Under the "Green New Deal", air travel becomes unnecessary. Subby can't wait to take a train to France
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The bus itself goes 'round and 'round
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Common Occurrence: Leaking confidential records. Should Know Better: Cal Poly Pomona College of Science's Computer Science department
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Epidemic kills 1100 in France. Sacre Flu
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Happy birthday to our Dear Leader
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El Paso Zoo will not only name a cockroach after your ex, they'll feed it to a meerkat on Valentine's Day. Slimy, yet satisfying
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Chicago burn center treated people who tried the 'boiling water challenge' during the cold snap. Darwin seen making tea
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Facebook: "We have to combine your data from across all our platforms or we can't protect the World from terrorism, child abuse, fair elections"
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Growing coffee in Miami is easy. But of course being Florida, there's always a catch
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Los Angeles city hall to remove carpets during Skid Row typhus outbreak. No word if they plan to spread Poison or release Whitesnakes to combat the Ratts that are spreading it
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'Help cover, smother, cap and pepper these Waffle House robbers with justice'
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More than 20,000 people infected in measles outbreak in Madagascar. In related news who knew Jenny McCarthy did voice over work?
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If you hopped going to college would reduce your chance of dementia, the thunderflies in the cave door have another ratchet bubblegum
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Toddler stuck in claw machine, rescued by firefighters after only eight quarters
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Idaho State Police seize shipment of 6.7 mega-Beckys of deadly cannabis. The Colorado company it belongs to claims it's legal hemp. Hope they'll come to a joint agreement, but to be blunt, that's a risk of being a trail-blazer in a budding industry
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"Not ass-shamed": Assman says his name shouldn't be rejected for personalized license plate. Proctologist Dr. Cosmo Kramer agrees, but says it's a million to one shot
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'Why watching porn in Chicago's libraries is allowed and why staff can't do much about it'
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| (BBC) |
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Photoshop this rare Snow Roller
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From the "Good Luck with That, Mate" files: Australian man argues tax laws don't apply to him because he's not a person
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Your old Teddy Ruxpin might be possessed
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Wandering around a primary school, waving at kids and trying to get wood is no way to go through life, Mr. Former Entertainer and Convicted Pedophile Rolf Harris
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That cross that washed up on a Florida beach was from a touching memorial to a ship captain. Naturally his loved ones want it back. And the owner of the resort where it washed up says....oh, Florida
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When stealing £1000s worth of scratchcards from your own work doesn't go to plan
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| (A Science Enthusiast) |
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Okay, stop me if you've heard this one before...the world is REALLY FOR SURE THIS TIME going to end on December 21, 2019. This is a repeat of every "end of the world prophecy" since time immemorial
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| (Our Quad Cities) |
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High school forgets one member of the choir is handicapped and realizes the concert stage isn't handicap accessible. Do they: A) Lift her onstage; B) Buy a ramp; C) Plop her off to the side off the stage where no one can see, humiliating her
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Man mistakenly text messages drug offer to police detective. What happens next involves Oxycodone pills, the local Taco Bell and also the man's arrest
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And the latest vehicle to be recalled for unintended acceleration is: The Barbie Dream Camper. Wait. What?
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Police asking owner of wallet lost while shopping to stop by the station and claim it. "One way or another, we will be talking soon"
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Man charged with arson after throwing cigarette in gas-filled toilet. Changes myth from "Busted" to "Plausible"
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Portland's Worst Day of the Year Bike Ride has been postponed because of bad weather
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You're stuck in jail because your mother can't pay your bail. Do you: a) cool your heels, b) start a prison riot, or c) call 311 and send police to her home by reporting phony crimes there? Bonus question: if c), do you give your real name to 311?
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 718: "For F's Sake". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed February 06, 2019 |
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Quebec Poison Control Centre reports cases of cannabis poisoning have more than tripled since the drug was legalized last fall. S'il vous plaît, ne devenez pas comme Becky
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Real-life Richie Rich blasted for trying to turn mountain into own 'Mount Richmore'
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You gotta fight for your right ... to cycle
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Photoshop this elevated tea room
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Extreme weather caused by climate change caused almost $100 billion in damages and killed 247 in the US--but remember, there are still a bunch of idiots who think it's not real
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Seven-story building collapses in Istanbul, not Constantinople
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Two women, 79 and 86, cause 'bingo brawl' in Canada
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Pizza restaurant owner baffled by high electricity bill for seven years until she discovers she's also been paying the electricity for the hotel nearby which is strangely owned by the same landlord. No telling how that could have happened
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| (Some Midwesterner) |
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Pornhub sees giant spike in web traffic from the Midwest during last week's Polar Vortex. Go ahead and give yourselves a round of applause.... if your hands are free
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NYPD demand$ Google deactivate map feature$ $howing driver$ location$ of city'$ $peed camera$, DUI checkpoint$ for $ome rea$on
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Photoshop this petite postman
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Thanks to the Marie Kondo fad to declutter your home, thrift stores are knee-deep in surplus clothing. Now's the chance for Farkers to buy all the shirts they'll never need
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Pop Quiz: What is the worst time to jump aboard a moving AMTRAK train, try and manipulate the controls, and blow the whistle? Answer: When you're too drunk to remember how much fun it was
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Man admits he hasn't cleaned his penis for 24 years
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Rats are invading LA and they can't communicate or be reasoned with
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Check it out: a guide to all of the hep slang that all the dope kids are using these days on the hizzy
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Fifty fastest speeding tickets issued last year in Texas: Porsche 911 takes the podium at 166mph, followed closely by a pack of motorcycles and a mob of Mustangs
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Armed teens rob bank, order Uber for getaway, get free ride to jail instead
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Deadly ebola virus startin making trouble in my neighborhood
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Driver involved in car accident claims he swerved to avoid an octopus
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Add "Security Guard saving lives" to the list of things that will get a black man shot by police
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Actual headline: 'Utah man hears burglar in home, fights him off with BBQ fork'
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Bills to remove Confederate symbol from Mississippi's state flag die like an un-vaccinated Civil War reenactor
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Photoshop this sloppy wet kick
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If the pooch melts your heart, swipe right. A new app matches up shelter dogs with potential new owners, just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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If you found a hidden camera in the bathroom you use, your boss respectfully requests you return it. Definitely don't watch the video of him installing it
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Wikileaks releases Trump "Pee Tape" (Exclusive footage)
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Traffic deaths rose in some states that have legal marijuana. This report surely settles all controversy
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Tahoe receives so much snow that ski resorts have to close
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Today's Most Canadian Story brought to you by Simcoe, Ontario
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The Museum of the Bible has jumped the ark. Anybody need someone to go with? I Noah guy
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In Seattle, Snowmageddon will become Fridgegeddon this week, followed by Snowmageddon II: The Dumpening this weekend
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Problem: You have a lake that keeps killing people. Solution: Sounds like something that could turn a profit
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Florida cops catch sex fugitive wearing "Father of the Year" shirt. State checks out
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Get yourself some anatomical jewelry. And if those are too expensive for you, just wear your grandma's old dentures. Similar effect
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Sleeping Drunks of Shibuya currently just a smash-hit Twitter account, could ascend to People of Walmart level soon
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Nothing mellows you out after a family argument like taking a long walk around the neighborhood, wearing a bulletproof vest, firing a 9mm pistol randomly as you go. Never change, Florida
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Experts to parents: Children should avoid more asbestos exposure. The rest of us: shouldn't children avoid ALL asbestos exposure?
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When police notice the four rectangular-shaped and shrink-wrapped packages in your trunk, yelling "What is that? Heroin?" may elicit more questioning
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Judge puts gavel to good use after bed bugs pour from lawyer's suit like convicts in a jail break
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In preparation for another Government Shutdown, The Coast Guard creates emergency fund of $466 million dollars
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Norway to build world's first submerged, floating road tunnel. It will be full of Chevys, Lincolns and Fjords
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| Tue February 05, 2019 |
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Sometimes you can't improve on the original headline. " Pope Francis confirms priests' abuse of nuns included "sexual slavery". Seriously?
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"Thin Mints are the best / Savannah Smiles delish / Do-si-dos are all bliss / Tagalongs divine / Toffee-tastic blows my mind / Hey, that really rhymes"
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Carjacking turns into vaudeville routine as carjacker's gun doesn't fire, motorist throws keys, both men race to get keys, carjacker drops cellphone, motorist retrieves cellphone, carjacker retrieves keys. Keys for the cellphone? Deal
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Who throws a pork chop? Honestly
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Look, no matter HOW much your neighbors piss you off, setting fire to their apartment is never a good idea. you're just going to lose all your stuff too, and face 8-10 murder charges to boot
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Photoshop this fashionable protester
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Fark NotNewsletter: Drew's pedaling his sparkly hooves across New York
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Give me all the money in the register... or some fried chicken
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Russia says the American toilet on the Space Station has blown up. Wolowitz goes into hiding
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One can not state this enough, don't use baby sharks as bongs. Bay-be shark bong doot doot doot
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Five-year-old quadruple amputee is preparing for a half marathon. Subby got winded just typing this
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Karl Marx's London grave gets vandalized in hammer attack. Sickle vandals expected any time now
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The British Library's collection of obscene writing has now been digitized, and is being made available online
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Photoshop this dirty Droste effect
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Surfing in Lake Superior. During the Polar Vortex. With glorious King Triton photos
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San Francisco International Airport is opening a new observation deck, and if Photo 3 is any indication, it's apparently intended to be a space to blow off pre-flight stress
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State trooper shot and killed while serving warrant in Farmville. Zynga unavailable for comment
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Just in time for Valentine's Day bigender cardinal appears to have found mate
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Let's drive this seven ton sno-cat out on the ice. What could happen
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Man steals Obama mannequin from lingerie store window, leaving princess-outfit-wearing Trump mannequin untouched
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Florida woman's sex adventure in hot tub, and you already clicked
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If you've ever laid awake at night wondering how to keep your pets safe during coyote mating season, then today is your lucky day
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Bakery makes cookie with "Build the Wall" slogan as joke, now getting 1000s of orders from across country. "Now we are selling them because people ask for them. No, I don't think it's racist. I think it's about border security"
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Nebraska woman abandons newborn twins at hospital, giving false information to staff and making it hard for police to track her down
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E-cigarettes: They can kill you slow or randomly fast with their Nicotine Roulette option
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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-12-09 to Sat 2018-12-15
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The stolen Swedish crown jewels may have been found. Fark: on top of a garbage bin
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SC cops: "We're going to seize your cash and assets." Suspect: "For use as evidence in court?" SC cops: "No, we just need the money"
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"999, what's your emergency, love?" "Cor blimey, Facebook is down"
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Please clean up after your crucifixions
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Stripping naked and pulling over to the side of the road to have sex with your BMW is no way to get your business done, man
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999, what's the emergency? They put onions on my Big Mac. Manchester: the Florida of England
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Unimpressed with the Pacific Northwest's measles outbreak, North Carolina goes full whooping cough
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Photoshop these 3 cold dudes
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Well I would walk 5 brutal miles, and I would walk 5 miles more, just to be the man who walked 10 miles through brush while naked, on drugs, and in the snow
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Colorado jogger fends off and then kills a mountain lion with his giant balls
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Old: Leopards eating your face. New: Seal Leopards pooping out your USB stick
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Chicago had its lowest number of January homicides in nine years. Mostly because when it's -15 below zero, you don't need to shoot anyone to kill them ... just engage them in a lengthy conversation outside
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Please note: Underage children cannot legally give consent, unless they're just little trollops trying to entice an older man into sin. Sick tag used for the judge
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Man died of meth overdose before being eaten by a bear. Talk about a grizzly death
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CCTV: Nest home security camera captures haunting sound of Yorba Linda plane disintegrating in mid-air, with debris raining down over neighborhood. WARNING: May be disturbing to some viewers
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College student suspects her apartment is haunted after items vanish, hand prints appear in bathrooms. Fortunately, it was was just some man, living in her closest, wearing her clothes. What a relief
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Woman hatches duck egg bought from restaurant after discovering it's not an absentee balut
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Peer-reviewed research shows that marijuana is addictive and studies that show addicts started with alcohol and marijuana
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Yen? Yen yen
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SB gambling kerfuffle erupts as some bookies won't award a win to bettors who took the OVER on Gladys Knight's SSB. 'We timed the anthem at 2:01 initially, but controversy ensued after Knight was found to have said "brave" twice'
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New Jersey Gov. to sign law that raises state's hourly minimum wage to $15/ hour over next five years. Residents still unable to afford anything above Exit 8A
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Truck driver to other motorists: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"
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Angry woman uses jumper cables to attack store clerk. In hindsight, that clerk should have known she was going to start something
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Ocean's Eleven remake in Antwerp
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Man swinging an axe at trash cans tased by officers. Police spokesperson off record said 'suspect was axing for it.'
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Concrete breaks from an overpass and smashes through a car's sunroof. Local 4 News is there. No, seriously
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Here's the 15 moments that defined facebook's first 15 years. They already know all of yours
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Seattle undergoes this winter's first Snowmageddon, and drivers were, let us say, not prepared
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Photoshop this dress
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Tonight on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) 2 hours of music that peaked on a Billboard chart in the month of February. That finishes that theme
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Apple could pay a reward to the 14-year-old boy who found the FaceTime snooping bug. Possibly a new phone battery, but probably a t-shirt and and maybe couple of low-res songs
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Porch Pirate - who was trying to steal a four-dollar dimmer switch from IKEA - needs new underwear after meeting up with 9-year-old lab. Good dog
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Man sues Alabama mens clinic for handing out penis injections like candy, which turned his penis into U and left him unable to engage in intercourse. What a bunch of dicks
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"Adam Levine & Janet Jackson's nipples deserve equal treatment from the FCC" says writer who's never been to a beach or public swimming pool
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Photoshop tennis match: Glacier danger
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♬ Haggis served in a cone, makes a pensioner moan, that's in Moray ♬ (OK, I admit, that was offal...)
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The Weird Tale of the Paradogs of World War II
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Car maker admits its latest model is a POS (in France)
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27-year-old Mumbai man sues parents for not first seeking his permission before giving birth to him. No word if there are basements in Mumbai or if he's been kicked out of one, yet
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The world may actually start running out of people ... and once the decline builds up steam, it will never end
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Step by step, here's how to actually cut Facebook out of your life. Missing: "Step 1: Don't sign up for Facebook"
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Sunny D's disposition not so sunny
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One of the oldest surviving copies of Magna Carta back on public display following attempted theft by a man with a hammer
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Since 2010, hospital visits in the UK for Victorian-era diseases like scarlet fever, malnutrition, whooping cough and gout have increased 52%. The Dickens you say
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Photos of the inside of an Alabama Wal-mart where a fight broke out that led to shots fired in the parking lot, show a scene of horrific carnage of Twinkies, Ding-songs and Ho-ho's as well as shocking abuse of other pre-packaged baked goods
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Air ambulance company #1: Sorry, the weather is too bad to fly; Air ambulance company #2: Sorry, the weather is too bad to fly; Air ambulance company #3: Sure, no problem, let's go. Then the OBVIOUS Tag happened
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Recapping the good, the horrible, and the utterly stupid Superb Owl commercials. The worst was the chunky milk / close-talker mashup one
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Live on the main road? According to new study, its harder to get an erection if you do, but anyway, roads and erections no longer exist, so it's all moot
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Dog watches man rob house of $14k; cops blur dog's face to hide his shame
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Utah man drunk on 'Yager' crashes through Facebook security gates, says 'F*** YOU' when read his rights. Immediately is promoted to head of comment moderation team
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Photoshop this frozen snail
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After a meter of rain in a week, Queensland has gone full Australia
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Southwest Airlines passengers heard the Super Bowl halftime show
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Moving to Alabama soon? Hope none of your kids are 17 because public schools don't have to enroll them
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New Russian warships fitted with non-lethal weapon that induces hallucinations and 'makes enemies want to vomit'. Probably not good news for sailors just coming off a port call bender
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Brooklyn detention center once again has heat, lighting, and other comforts for its jailed residents--some of whom are awaiting trial
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"Tiny houses look marvellous but have a dark side: 3 things they don't tell you on the marketing blurb" List fails without: 4) You poop right next to the kitchen, 5) You're living in a gentrified trailer park
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Two strippers get in a fight... and then it gets weird. This is what the Florida tag was made for
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This kid has more balls than you ever will
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Somehow, I don't think you thought your cunning plan all the way through
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Have you herd about the inmate who escaped during processing? He hoofed it all the way downtown, then cops meat up and shoot him. Udderly miraculous that he survived. OK, I'm just milking it now
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