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Sun February 10, 2019
(MSN)
 
 
 
School cancels Charles Darwin musical following complaints from Christian parents. Which turns out is the very definition of irony
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
New Haven community activists rally against local billboard advertising: A) support for Trump; B) abortion services; or C) pot is legal only 60 miles away in Massachusetts
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
PSA: Do not shake hands with Fox News host Pete Hegseth, or touch anything he has touched
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ice cream lady
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
*smash* Where's the beef? *smash* *smash* Where's the beef?
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
It doesn't matter that you're turning yourself in on murder charges sir, we cannot arrest you without proper ID
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
Snowboarder: "Hey, since there isn't any traffic out in this snowy weather, I think I'll try to jump over the road." Morgan Freeman: "That's when he found out that there was, indeed, traffic that fateful day"
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these pigs
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Children are at risk of grooming via Tinder and Grindr, leading one to wonder--WHO THE HELL LETS THEIR KIDS GET ON DATING SITES?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
If the owner is pointing a gun at you, maybe you shouldn't try to repo his car. And if the repo guys are driving away with your car on the tow truck, maybe you shouldn't shoot at them
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Attention, burgeoning criminals: committing acts of wanton graffiti could cause you or your family to go bankrupt. So stop thinking you're the next Banksy--he's just as much a criminal as you
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Reports that one of the escapees was named "Caesar" have not been confirmed by authorities (now with video)
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Not news: Phone scammer tries to get money from elderly couple. News: When the scam fails, he threatens violence. Fark: Against a former FBI and CIA Director
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
One assumes the auction house did not see this coming
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Aussie lady journeys through a deadly wasteland with desperate inhabitants, roaming gangs of savage criminals, and scarce gasoline. Plot twist: Mexico
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop these three chilling birds
source: ichef.bbci.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: I've got a bad feeling about this
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
FTFA: "When the prayers were over, the boys and girls as young as 6 would march off to bed. Sometimes, the dorm dad would trail behind the girls, slip into their rooms and do ungodly things to them in the dead of night."-And they can never be charged
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Eighteen-year-old decides to defy parents and get vaccinated for the first time in his life
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Seat moved? Mirror a little off? Here's a crazy idea: somebody is stealing your vehicle and returning it, night after night after night
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, kneeling during the pledge of allegiance, obedient, cheerful, thrifty... Wait, what?
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Oakland Press)
 
 
 
There are worse ways to die than falling into a tank of hot sulfuric acid, but Subby can't think of any
source: theoaklandpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Consumer Reports)
 
 
 
So, what you're saying is (•_•) / ( •_•)⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■) Dyson sucks?
source: consumerreports.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Venezuela votes Giant Meteor
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Smoking can kill, but usually not this fast
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 09, 2019
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The Worst British Tourist Ever gets six months in an Indonesian prison for being rebellious. Why, yes, there *is* video of the offense that led to the sentence, also known as "Exhibit A"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
News: Woman arrested for burglary in Chilton County, AL. Fark: Wife of Chilton County town police chief arrested by State Bureau of Investigation for burglary
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"After careful consideration the Duke of Edinburgh has taken the decision to voluntarily surrender his driving licence"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
What happens when you flunk out of the Sacha Baron Cohen school of comedy?
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
This Daily Mail headline is so poorly written: I was worried I might be having a stroke while I read it. Oh, smells like my toast is ready
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tennis Match, outer space edition
source: d2v9y0dukr6mq2.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Doki Doki isn't okey dokey, may lead a kid to the pokey or even croakey
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these perky pants
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Ex-NYT chief Jill Abramson's book lamenting the decline of journalistic ethics is riddled with inaccuracies and instances of plagiarism. Oops
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Miss Ukraine stripped of her crown because she was "hiding something", if you know what I mean (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Post-Star)
 
 
 
Man flees police custody. Last name is apt
source: poststar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's Mr. Ed hitting a homer off Sandy Koufax
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Ho-hum: residents swarm grocery stores in anticipation of snowstorm. Everywhere else: beer, wine, potatoes, eggs, bread., etc., the first to be cleaned out. Portland: kale, of course
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Rich white woman diligently fighting to keep her children safe from slight chance they will encounter minorities & poors
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Attention wordsmiths and Scrabble players "hammajang" added to the Oxford English dictionary. Click the link if you want to know what hammajang means
source: hawaiimagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Key Takeaway - Somehow, the Republican anti-porn crusaders have managed to view 88% of all porn videos
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Ah, the good ol' drunk pilot reason to cancel a flight
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Signs, signs, everywhere signs, blocking out the scenery and breaking British minds
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Stock tickers, celebrity yoga, and Florida College Student all await you on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Jan. 27 - Feb 2 So Much For Spring Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this plane
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
All good things come to those who wait: two felines named Peak-a-Boo and Daisy Doo, have finally found their furever home after waiting 670 days in a shelter. Welcome to a happy Caturday
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCTV Tallahassee)
 
 
 
Hundreds of deluded idiots rally to preserve right to not vaccinate children amid a plague outbreak
source: wctv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Iran inaugurates medium-range ballistic missiles. Apparently, these can fly across the street as opposed to their long-range missiles that can make it all the way across town
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
We ain't sayin' your infrastructure is old, Albany, but a wood water main from the 1700s might need replacing by now
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
If you don't think pet dogs should donate blood, you might want to steer clear of California
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Veterinarian sentenced to six years in prison for trafficking Doperman Pinscher puppies
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
It's nice to see the United States as the one putting underhanded strategic leverage on Russia, rather than the other way around, again
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Could mass incarceration be rolled back like prices at Walmart?
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Attention: that enormous crater that opened in the parking lot is not a sinkhole. Carry on
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Montana Standard)
 
 
 
It's so cold in Montana right now you can ice skate on the largest Superfund site in the country
source: mtstandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
It wasn't the airplanes that brought down King Kong, it was the 2lbs of black tar heroin he was smuggling
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Eighty-five year-old Holocaust survivor's funeral attended by the last person who knew him. Oh, and also by 200 total strangers who came out in the middle of a Toronto winter to honor him. I'm not crying, you're crying
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 08, 2019
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Boston police officer on paid vacation after stripper grabs his Glock
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Scientists conduct trial to test "Beer before wine and you'll feel fine; Wine before beer, better fear." The outcome? Methodology poor; need funding for more
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Woman goes in to get liposuction, wakes up to find she's been given a new nose. Surgeon says he just did her a 'favor' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCTV Tallahassee)
 
 
 
Poignant maternity photo of mother breastfeeding a baby gator, complete with boots, tattoos, Bud Light, a gun and the only flag that makes sense
source: wctv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
It was not love at first sight: Female London Zoo tiger 'overpowered', killed after being introduced to male for first time
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
HHS: We warned you this would be a disaster
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Dunkin's new slogan "America Runs On Hep-A" needs some work
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Teenager rescued two days after Istanbul building collapse, was still playing Fortnite
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
The evidence behind New York City's greatest urban legend: The alligator in the sewer
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cosplayer
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Did you eat super spicy food last night? Because the Hubble telescope has spotted a big storm around Uranus. Uh huh huh
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
Jeff Bezos Photo Controversy should send "chills down the spines of billionaires everywhere." Which is stupid. Doesn't this writer know billionaires can afford spine warmers?
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this before. So a man, a boy and a white rat in a not so secured cage walk into a McDonalds
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Flyover states: LOL, stupid California and the Southwest crying about expensive water, just live where the water is. Great Lakes region utilities: Um yeah, about that...?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
What's the point of having a boat if you can't drink on it?
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
This Japanese guy is a real Heel, even for an Arch Criminal. This Soleless fellow looks straight-laced, but really, he's a Dirty Sneaker
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Latest thing that's going to kill us all: This mysterious ooze leaking out of a New York City subway station exhaust vent
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man raveling in his work
source: static.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
San Francisco police have released a sketch of the "Doodler" killer from the 1970s. They deny he may have since taken a job with Google
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUOW Seattle)
 
 
 
Six inches of snow forecasted in Seattle this weekend. Grocery store shelves are currently empty
source: kuow.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
New Zealand wiped off the map. Hardly anyone noticed
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Pecker promises a hard, penetrating investigation into Bezos' claims of blackmail, says neither he nor his organization dropped the ball on this scandal
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
New Hampshire Man facing 63 years in prison claims the 'safe word' was never used during a sex act that ended when someone got threatened with beheading
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Lorena Bobbitt regrets being cut off from the national conversation about domestic violence
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Woman posted a picture on Facebook of herself on top of her damaged car. The damage was due to her trying to run over her ex-boyfriend and a female acquaintance (with SFW video of incident). That Facebook picture came in handy to the local police
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KION)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for pushing over 15-foor crucifix, vandalizing church, all before the very eyes of God's surveillance cameras
source: kion546.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Drew is finally out of the closet
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
This is wonderful: robbers in clown masks, machetes, grandmother counterattacks. Fark: with a kid's scooter
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Baby, if you've ever wondered - NO, IT'S NOT US! PAY ATTENTION, DAMN IT!
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Man wakes up from 6-week coma, celebrates Christmas in February with family
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australian version of "adorable raccoon with a jar stuck on its head" is still endearing, despite featuring a venomous copperhead and an angle grinder
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
New Hampshire supreme court upholds the conviction of three women arrested for going topless on a beach, saying the law doesn't discriminate on the basis of gender or violate the women's right to free speech
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
Weeners
 
I was in the pool
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WINK Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Science proves that the old farts in Florida can't drive
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
The naughtiest real estate listing you'll see today. Or tomorrow. Or probably ever. "But the twist is it has this sex oasis in the basement"
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Eugene, Oregon: Come join us for a beer and watch/discuss some Cohen testimony, Friday, February 8th
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Report finds electric cars lose efficiency in a polar vortex. Subby plans to laugh at them from his gas-powered car as soon as someone gives him a jump start
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Giant heroin spoon sculpture moved to drug makers office gates
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Science proves that positive thoughts can improve your health and negative thoughts can harm it. Should we warn the poltab?
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The country where lesbians communicate in code. NO, not farkistan
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Erupting Indonesian volcano spewing ash and lava, as opposed to, say, unicorns and ranch dressing
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this owl
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Temperature changes create icy 'ghost apples' at orchard. Waaaaay cooler than road apples
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Unclear if ATM thieves are getting more or less sophisticated as these ones used improvised explosives to get the machine out of the wall. This one's a bit close to home as the car used was found 2 streets away from Subby's mum
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
GWB to NJ drivers: Thou shalt not cross
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMPH San Joaquin Valley)
 
 
 
Snow lodged up against snow lodge lodges lodgers in their snow lodge and there snow lodgical thing to do but sit and wait for rescue
source: kmph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Miami Gardens HS student improves SAT score too much, accused of cheating
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Australia's Bureau of Meteorology quantifies volume of water overflowing a dam in terms of saltwater crocodile per cubic metre
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Even if you're single you should still shop at Costco for those great deals on alcohol to help silence every night the aching reminders that you're still single
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Yeah, you should never corner and grope an underage waitress in a bathroom stall. Especially on your wedding night
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Observer)
 
 
 
"There is no crisis and we don't want a wall." Was said by A Nancy Pelosi? B: Jimmy Kimmel? or C: Several Texas border sheriffs?
source: texasobserver.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ceiling tile man is watching you with cold soulless icy blue eyes
source: thehawkeye.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Very happy man arrested after breaking into couple's home in the middle of the night and asking for a place to stay. The very happy man even got a nice striped jumpsuit. He's very happy about that
source: enterprisepub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Any better advice?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Citizen)
 
 
 
With apologies to the Bard, something's rotten in the Province of Newfoundland and Labrador
source: ottawacitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 07, 2019
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Helicopter Parenting: It works. Details to the right, denial and ridicule by losers to the left
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Most young women don't identify as feminist. But don't worry, all the old men on Fark are here to correct them
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Instacart thought long and hard about policy, decides just the tip left employees unsatisfied, promises a more thoughtful, committed working relationship moving forward. Mr. Pink nods in approval
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Man jokes that his wife is crazy, but it'll be ok as long as he "hides the steak knives." Take a stab at what happened next
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Sears CEO: I want to use this other company that I own to buy out the company that I just bankrupted. Federal judge: Seems legit. Approved
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
What's the real story here: (i) that members of the Queen's royal Grenadier Guards robbed a 7/11; or (ii) that there is a real, live, human man named Elnur Bracegirdle?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
Boobies
 
FDA reports more cases of rare anaplastic large cell lymphoma linked to breast implants, urges doctors, patients to watch for fluid buildup, masses around implants. Save the Tatas
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this whale
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
How many licks does it take to get the the center of Florida politics? Unfortunately, this politician has just resigned, so we may never know
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Joint Chiefs General of National Guard reminds all Air Force personnel to always double-check uniform before appearing on nationally televised SOTU address
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Wife of horse's ass gets her wish for a smoking-hot body
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Monster fish "big enough to swallow a child" captured off coast of Fukushima. The locals only know it by one name: Codzilla
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Sometimes you can't, or are afraid to try, to improve on the original headline: "Attempted burglar with history of horse molestation arrested with taser, large sex toy"
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Arizona lawmaker wants the state to invoke the "If it's yellow let it mellow" law
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flower
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS8 San Diego)
 
 
 
We have a snowball fight here with the police taking on the children. It will be a fun matchup, folks. Tl;dr no casualties but tactical shields were deployed
source: cbs8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
How do you do, fellow evangelical kids?
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
One-armed college student, who goes by the username "Hand Solo", builds himself a robotic prosthetic arm using Lego bricks
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Jail-O General Pop for Bill Cosby
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Americans for Tax Reform)
 
 
 
Under the "Green New Deal", air travel becomes unnecessary. Subby can't wait to take a train to France
source: atr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMBC Kansas City)
 
 
 
The bus itself goes 'round and 'round
source: kmbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Common Occurrence: Leaking confidential records. Should Know Better: Cal Poly Pomona College of Science's Computer Science department
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Epidemic kills 1100 in France. Sacre Flu
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Happy birthday to our Dear Leader
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
El Paso Zoo will not only name a cockroach after your ex, they'll feed it to a meerkat on Valentine's Day. Slimy, yet satisfying
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago burn center treated people who tried the 'boiling water challenge' during the cold snap. Darwin seen making tea
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Facebook: "We have to combine your data from across all our platforms or we can't protect the World from terrorism, child abuse, fair elections"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Growing coffee in Miami is easy. But of course being Florida, there's always a catch
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Los Angeles city hall to remove carpets during Skid Row typhus outbreak. No word if they plan to spread Poison or release Whitesnakes to combat the Ratts that are spreading it
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
'Help cover, smother, cap and pepper these Waffle House robbers with justice'
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
More than 20,000 people infected in measles outbreak in Madagascar. In related news who knew Jenny McCarthy did voice over work?
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
If you hopped going to college would reduce your chance of dementia, the thunderflies in the cave door have another ratchet bubblegum
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Toddler stuck in claw machine, rescued by firefighters after only eight quarters
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Idaho State Police seize shipment of 6.7 mega-Beckys of deadly cannabis. The Colorado company it belongs to claims it's legal hemp. Hope they'll come to a joint agreement, but to be blunt, that's a risk of being a trail-blazer in a budding industry
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"Not ass-shamed": Assman says his name shouldn't be rejected for personalized license plate. Proctologist Dr. Cosmo Kramer agrees, but says it's a million to one shot
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
'Why watching porn in Chicago's libraries is allowed and why staff can't do much about it'
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rare Snow Roller
source: ichef.bbci.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
From the "Good Luck with That, Mate" files: Australian man argues tax laws don't apply to him because he's not a person
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mysterious Universe)
 
 
 
Your old Teddy Ruxpin might be possessed
source: mysteriousuniverse.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Wandering around a primary school, waving at kids and trying to get wood is no way to go through life, Mr. Former Entertainer and Convicted Pedophile Rolf Harris
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
That cross that washed up on a Florida beach was from a touching memorial to a ship captain. Naturally his loved ones want it back. And the owner of the resort where it washed up says....oh, Florida
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
When stealing £1000s worth of scratchcards from your own work doesn't go to plan
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(A Science Enthusiast)
 
 
 
Okay, stop me if you've heard this one before...the world is REALLY FOR SURE THIS TIME going to end on December 21, 2019. This is a repeat of every "end of the world prophecy" since time immemorial
source: ascienceenthusiast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Our Quad Cities)
 
 
 
High school forgets one member of the choir is handicapped and realizes the concert stage isn't handicap accessible. Do they: A) Lift her onstage; B) Buy a ramp; C) Plop her off to the side off the stage where no one can see, humiliating her
source: ourquadcities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
Man mistakenly text messages drug offer to police detective. What happens next involves Oxycodone pills, the local Taco Bell and also the man's arrest
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
And the latest vehicle to be recalled for unintended acceleration is: The Barbie Dream Camper. Wait. What?
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland 19)
 
 
 
Police asking owner of wallet lost while shopping to stop by the station and claim it. "One way or another, we will be talking soon"
source: cleveland19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Man charged with arson after throwing cigarette in gas-filled toilet. Changes myth from "Busted" to "Plausible"
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Portland's Worst Day of the Year Bike Ride has been postponed because of bad weather
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You're stuck in jail because your mother can't pay your bail. Do you: a) cool your heels, b) start a prison riot, or c) call 311 and send police to her home by reporting phony crimes there? Bonus question: if c), do you give your real name to 311?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 718: "For F's Sake". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 06, 2019
(CBC)
 
 
 
Quebec Poison Control Centre reports cases of cannabis poisoning have more than tripled since the drug was legalized last fall. S'il vous plaît, ne devenez pas comme Becky
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Real-life Richie Rich blasted for trying to turn mountain into own 'Mount Richmore'
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
You gotta fight for your right ... to cycle
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this elevated tea room
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Extreme weather caused by climate change caused almost $100 billion in damages and killed 247 in the US--but remember, there are still a bunch of idiots who think it's not real
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Seven-story building collapses in Istanbul, not Constantinople
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kingston Whig)
 
 
 
Two women, 79 and 86, cause 'bingo brawl' in Canada
source: thewhig.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pizza restaurant owner baffled by high electricity bill for seven years until she discovers she's also been paying the electricity for the hotel nearby which is strangely owned by the same landlord. No telling how that could have happened
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Midwesterner)
 
 
 
Pornhub sees giant spike in web traffic from the Midwest during last week's Polar Vortex. Go ahead and give yourselves a round of applause.... if your hands are free
source: 97x.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
NYPD demand$ Google deactivate map feature$ $howing driver$ location$ of city'$ $peed camera$, DUI checkpoint$ for $ome rea$on
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this petite postman
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Thanks to the Marie Kondo fad to declutter your home, thrift stores are knee-deep in surplus clothing. Now's the chance for Farkers to buy all the shirts they'll never need
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pop Quiz: What is the worst time to jump aboard a moving AMTRAK train, try and manipulate the controls, and blow the whistle? Answer: When you're too drunk to remember how much fun it was
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Man admits he hasn't cleaned his penis for 24 years
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Rats are invading LA and they can't communicate or be reasoned with
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester Democrat and Chronicle)
 
 
 
Check it out: a guide to all of the hep slang that all the dope kids are using these days on the hizzy
source: democratandchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Fifty fastest speeding tickets issued last year in Texas: Porsche 911 takes the podium at 166mph, followed closely by a pack of motorcycles and a mob of Mustangs
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Armed teens rob bank, order Uber for getaway, get free ride to jail instead
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Deadly ebola virus startin making trouble in my neighborhood
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Driver involved in car accident claims he swerved to avoid an octopus
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Add "Security Guard saving lives" to the list of things that will get a black man shot by police
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Actual headline: 'Utah man hears burglar in home, fights him off with BBQ fork'
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Bills to remove Confederate symbol from Mississippi's state flag die like an un-vaccinated Civil War reenactor
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sloppy wet kick
source: farm4.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
If the pooch melts your heart, swipe right. A new app matches up shelter dogs with potential new owners, just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Voice)
 
 
 
If you found a hidden camera in the bathroom you use, your boss respectfully requests you return it. Definitely don't watch the video of him installing it
source: dailyvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Wikileaks releases Trump "Pee Tape" (Exclusive footage)
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Traffic deaths rose in some states that have legal marijuana. This report surely settles all controversy
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Tahoe receives so much snow that ski resorts have to close
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Today's Most Canadian Story brought to you by Simcoe, Ontario
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hyperallergic)
 
 
 
The Museum of the Bible has jumped the ark. Anybody need someone to go with? I Noah guy
source: hyperallergic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
In Seattle, Snowmageddon will become Fridgegeddon this week, followed by Snowmageddon II: The Dumpening this weekend
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Problem: You have a lake that keeps killing people. Solution: Sounds like something that could turn a profit
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Florida cops catch sex fugitive wearing "Father of the Year" shirt. State checks out
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Get yourself some anatomical jewelry. And if those are too expensive for you, just wear your grandma's old dentures. Similar effect
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Sleeping Drunks of Shibuya currently just a smash-hit Twitter account, could ascend to People of Walmart level soon
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Nothing mellows you out after a family argument like taking a long walk around the neighborhood, wearing a bulletproof vest, firing a 9mm pistol randomly as you go. Never change, Florida
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Experts to parents: Children should avoid more asbestos exposure. The rest of us: shouldn't children avoid ALL asbestos exposure?
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest Indiana Times)
 
 
 
When police notice the four rectangular-shaped and shrink-wrapped packages in your trunk, yelling "What is that? Heroin?" may elicit more questioning
source: nwitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Judge puts gavel to good use after bed bugs pour from lawyer's suit like convicts in a jail break
source: alt1023.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In preparation for another Government Shutdown, The Coast Guard creates emergency fund of $466 million dollars
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Norway to build world's first submerged, floating road tunnel. It will be full of Chevys, Lincolns and Fjords
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 05, 2019
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Sometimes you can't improve on the original headline. " Pope Francis confirms priests' abuse of nuns included "sexual slavery". Seriously?
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
"Thin Mints are the best / Savannah Smiles delish / Do-si-dos are all bliss / Tagalongs divine / Toffee-tastic blows my mind / Hey, that really rhymes"
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Carjacking turns into vaudeville routine as carjacker's gun doesn't fire, motorist throws keys, both men race to get keys, carjacker drops cellphone, motorist retrieves cellphone, carjacker retrieves keys. Keys for the cellphone? Deal
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Who throws a pork chop? Honestly
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Look, no matter HOW much your neighbors piss you off, setting fire to their apartment is never a good idea. you're just going to lose all your stuff too, and face 8-10 murder charges to boot
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fashionable protester
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Drew's pedaling his sparkly hooves across New York
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Give me all the money in the register... or some fried chicken
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Futurism)
 
 
 
Russia says the American toilet on the Space Station has blown up. Wolowitz goes into hiding
source: futurism.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
One can not state this enough, don't use baby sharks as bongs. Bay-be shark bong doot doot doot
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South West News Service)
 
 
 
Five-year-old quadruple amputee is preparing for a half marathon. Subby got winded just typing this
source: stories.swns.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Karl Marx's London grave gets vandalized in hammer attack. Sickle vandals expected any time now
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The British Library's collection of obscene writing has now been digitized, and is being made available online
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dirty Droste effect
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Surfing in Lake Superior. During the Polar Vortex. With glorious King Triton photos
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
San Francisco International Airport is opening a new observation deck, and if Photo 3 is any indication, it's apparently intended to be a space to blow off pre-flight stress
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
State trooper shot and killed while serving warrant in Farmville. Zynga unavailable for comment
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
Just in time for Valentine's Day bigender cardinal appears to have found mate
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colorado Springs Gazette)
 
 
 
Let's drive this seven ton sno-cat out on the ice. What could happen
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
Video
 
Man steals Obama mannequin from lingerie store window, leaving princess-outfit-wearing Trump mannequin untouched
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Florida woman's sex adventure in hot tub, and you already clicked
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
If you've ever laid awake at night wondering how to keep your pets safe during coyote mating season, then today is your lucky day
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Bakery makes cookie with "Build the Wall" slogan as joke, now getting 1000s of orders from across country. "Now we are selling them because people ask for them. No, I don't think it's racist. I think it's about border security"
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOWT Omaha)
 
 
 
Nebraska woman abandons newborn twins at hospital, giving false information to staff and making it hard for police to track her down
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
E-cigarettes: They can kill you slow or randomly fast with their Nicotine Roulette option
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-12-09 to Sat 2018-12-15
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
The stolen Swedish crown jewels may have been found. Fark: on top of a garbage bin
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenville Online)
 
 
 
SC cops: "We're going to seize your cash and assets." Suspect: "For use as evidence in court?" SC cops: "No, we just need the money"
source: greenvilleonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"999, what's your emergency, love?" "Cor blimey, Facebook is down"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
Please clean up after your crucifixions
source: wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Stripping naked and pulling over to the side of the road to have sex with your BMW is no way to get your business done, man
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
999, what's the emergency? They put onions on my Big Mac. Manchester: the Florida of England
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Unimpressed with the Pacific Northwest's measles outbreak, North Carolina goes full whooping cough
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these 3 cold dudes
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bend Bulletin)
 
 
 
Well I would walk 5 brutal miles, and I would walk 5 miles more, just to be the man who walked 10 miles through brush while naked, on drugs, and in the snow
source: bendbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Colorado jogger fends off and then kills a mountain lion with his giant balls
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Old: Leopards eating your face. New: Seal Leopards pooping out your USB stick
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chicago had its lowest number of January homicides in nine years. Mostly because when it's -15 below zero, you don't need to shoot anyone to kill them ... just engage them in a lengthy conversation outside
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Please note: Underage children cannot legally give consent, unless they're just little trollops trying to entice an older man into sin. Sick tag used for the judge
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Man died of meth overdose before being eaten by a bear. Talk about a grizzly death
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nest Home Security Video)
 
Video
 
CCTV: Nest home security camera captures haunting sound of Yorba Linda plane disintegrating in mid-air, with debris raining down over neighborhood. WARNING: May be disturbing to some viewers
source: video.nest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
College student suspects her apartment is haunted after items vanish, hand prints appear in bathrooms. Fortunately, it was was just some man, living in her closest, wearing her clothes. What a relief
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Woman hatches duck egg bought from restaurant after discovering it's not an absentee balut
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Peer-reviewed research shows that marijuana is addictive and studies that show addicts started with alcohol and marijuana
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Yen? Yen yen
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action Network)
 
 
 
SB gambling kerfuffle erupts as some bookies won't award a win to bettors who took the OVER on Gladys Knight's SSB. 'We timed the anthem at 2:01 initially, but controversy ensued after Knight was found to have said "brave" twice'
source: actionnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
New Jersey Gov. to sign law that raises state's hourly minimum wage to $15/ hour over next five years. Residents still unable to afford anything above Exit 8A
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Truck driver to other motorists: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Angry woman uses jumper cables to attack store clerk. In hindsight, that clerk should have known she was going to start something
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 04, 2019
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Ocean's Eleven remake in Antwerp
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
Man swinging an axe at trash cans tased by officers. Police spokesperson off record said 'suspect was axing for it.'
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Concrete breaks from an overpass and smashes through a car's sunroof. Local 4 News is there. No, seriously
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Here's the 15 moments that defined facebook's first 15 years. They already know all of yours
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Seattle undergoes this winter's first Snowmageddon, and drivers were, let us say, not prepared
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dress
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) 2 hours of music that peaked on a Billboard chart in the month of February. That finishes that theme
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Apple could pay a reward to the 14-year-old boy who found the FaceTime snooping bug. Possibly a new phone battery, but probably a t-shirt and and maybe couple of low-res songs
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Porch Pirate - who was trying to steal a four-dollar dimmer switch from IKEA - needs new underwear after meeting up with 9-year-old lab. Good dog
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
Weeners
 
Man sues Alabama mens clinic for handing out penis injections like candy, which turned his penis into U and left him unable to engage in intercourse. What a bunch of dicks
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
"Adam Levine & Janet Jackson's nipples deserve equal treatment from the FCC" says writer who's never been to a beach or public swimming pool
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop tennis match: Glacier danger
source: cdn2.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press And Journal)
 
 
 
♬ Haggis served in a cone, makes a pensioner moan, that's in Moray ♬ (OK, I admit, that was offal...)
source: pressandjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mysterious Universe)
 
 
 
The Weird Tale of the Paradogs of World War II
source: mysteriousuniverse.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Car maker admits its latest model is a POS (in France)
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
27-year-old Mumbai man sues parents for not first seeking his permission before giving birth to him. No word if there are basements in Mumbai or if he's been kicked out of one, yet
source: indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
The world may actually start running out of people ... and once the decline builds up steam, it will never end
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Step by step, here's how to actually cut Facebook out of your life. Missing: "Step 1: Don't sign up for Facebook"
source: beta.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Sunny D's disposition not so sunny
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
One of the oldest surviving copies of Magna Carta back on public display following attempted theft by a man with a hammer
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Since 2010, hospital visits in the UK for Victorian-era diseases like scarlet fever, malnutrition, whooping cough and gout have increased 52%. The Dickens you say
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Photos of the inside of an Alabama Wal-mart where a fight broke out that led to shots fired in the parking lot, show a scene of horrific carnage of Twinkies, Ding-songs and Ho-ho's as well as shocking abuse of other pre-packaged baked goods
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Air ambulance company #1: Sorry, the weather is too bad to fly; Air ambulance company #2: Sorry, the weather is too bad to fly; Air ambulance company #3: Sure, no problem, let's go. Then the OBVIOUS Tag happened
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Recapping the good, the horrible, and the utterly stupid Superb Owl commercials. The worst was the chunky milk / close-talker mashup one
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Live on the main road? According to new study, its harder to get an erection if you do, but anyway, roads and erections no longer exist, so it's all moot
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Dog watches man rob house of $14k; cops blur dog's face to hide his shame
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Utah man drunk on 'Yager' crashes through Facebook security gates, says 'F*** YOU' when read his rights. Immediately is promoted to head of comment moderation team
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this frozen snail
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
After a meter of rain in a week, Queensland has gone full Australia
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Southwest Airlines passengers heard the Super Bowl halftime show
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Moving to Alabama soon? Hope none of your kids are 17 because public schools don't have to enroll them
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
New Russian warships fitted with non-lethal weapon that induces hallucinations and 'makes enemies want to vomit'. Probably not good news for sailors just coming off a port call bender
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Brooklyn detention center once again has heat, lighting, and other comforts for its jailed residents--some of whom are awaiting trial
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
"Tiny houses look marvellous but have a dark side: 3 things they don't tell you on the marketing blurb" List fails without: 4) You poop right next to the kitchen, 5) You're living in a gentrified trailer park
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Two strippers get in a fight... and then it gets weird. This is what the Florida tag was made for
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
This kid has more balls than you ever will
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Somehow, I don't think you thought your cunning plan all the way through
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Have you herd about the inmate who escaped during processing? He hoofed it all the way downtown, then cops meat up and shoot him. Udderly miraculous that he survived. OK, I'm just milking it now
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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