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Sun January 20, 2019
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sometimes...dead...is bettah
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mask
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
"Reefer Madness isn't a documentary, man." Or is it?
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
"That? Oh that's just Wally. My emotional support alligator"
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Vegan personal trainer says people should not wear shoes, while hopping on one foot trying to get the poop coated thorn out his foot
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Four guys with rifles decide a home invasion would be fun, suffer Acute Failure of the Victim Selection Process
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Depends on the kid, I suppose
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this blue woman
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Bolton News)
 
 
 
So, what's the plural for stolen Prius?
source: theboltonnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Sending inappropriate texts to women other than your wife is no way to go through life, Mr. Mayor. It is Florida though, so maybe
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
A look at how you can vaccinate yourself against the most dangerous threat to humanity: anti-vaxxers
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Go ahead and give up on your New Year's resolutions ..you're already a loser anyway
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Hot off the press
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
World's second oldest man moves up in the rankings
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man who made eleven-story jump off cruise ship admits he didn't think it through. Especially when Royal Caribbean wouldn't let him back on
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Caption these backpacking penguins
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
The iconic conch of the Bahamas may soon be a thing of the past
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The winter storm that was and then wasn't (and then got renamed) has now moved East and may or may not be wreaking havoc. Possibly. Regardless, here's your Day Two discussion thread for Winter Storm Fhqwhgads
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
And so it continues
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Amsterdam's red light district suffering from tourist selfie overload. "It's the biggest free attraction park in the whole of Amsterdam"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this magic mushroom
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Wearing the wrong thing
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Harassing hornets
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LocalSYR)
 
 
 
State University of New York will now offer classes on growing marijuana, doing its part to encourage higher education
source: localsyr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
University of Houston professor asks students to 'please use deodorant'
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Senior citizens don't face drug tests and have spare time. One guess as to what they're doing
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
If teens keep smoking Juul it's over, man
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Spoiler alert: You'll stop reading right about....there
source: paleofuture.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 19, 2019
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Tony Mendez, spy who told Iran "Argo fark yourself," dies at 78
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
So, an alpaca walks into an optician and says, "Doc, I think I need glasses; everyone keeps mistaking me for a llama"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Olympian)
 
 
 
Photoshop this honey bucket
source: theolympian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVH Helena)
 
 
 
Pilot crash-lands plane onto sandbar in Missouri River. Unhurt, he calls his brother who stops by to pick him up--in another plane which lands on the same sandbar. Just another weekday in Montana
source: ktvh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: A lord, a horde, and a Fjord
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Let's drill into this pipeline and steal a little gas. What could possibly go wrong? (warning: graphic image content)
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Yep, listening to the internet and not your doctor is really not a good idea. Glad all turned out well for them
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Admiral Ackbar, please meet your party at the cellphone charging station
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
A second reporter coincidentally enters the "Martin Luther ****, Jr." accidental contest
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Hey, you fishermen can't clean your catch here - this is a wharf and you're disturbing the yoga classes
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pacific Standard Magazine)
 
 
 
Ha Ha, fatbergs have been increasing in recent years and will soon consume you. Live it up while you can, skinny humans
source: psmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Half of American adults don't know what type blood they have. That's not a Type O
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Photoshop this roller splayer
source: i2-prod.irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Instagram influencer couple who plummeted 800ft to their deaths taking a selfie at Yosemite were drunk at the time. Talk about hitting rock bottom
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man uses his 'deep voice' to get felines to flock to him for belly rubs. Meanwhile, subby still has the scars from the last time he tried that on Caturday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Willamette Week)
 
 
 
I don't remember measles being a problem when I played Oregon Trail
source: wweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
♪ Someday, when you are older / you could get hit by a boulder / When you're lying there, cold and bitter / the police will post on twitter ♪
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Zimbabwe shuts off the internet to stop the spread of false and malicious reports about a violent crackdown by their benevolent security forces
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Remember Warren Jeffs? His brother resurfaced recently with plans to build a large building on a remote plot of land in Minnesota
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Man sleep proposes to his girlfriend while on Ambien, claims to have no memory of the event the next day. The question in my mind is now: is Ambien a powerful halucinogen or a convenient excuse for actions you regret the next day?
source: thisisinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
Thanks to the government shutdown, DC workers have nothing better to do than sit around with their dick in their hands
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 18, 2019
(Inside Climate News)
 
 
 
Not News: Coal ash is contaminating the water supply in West Virginia. Still Not News: And Texas. Fark: And at least 20 other states
source: insideclimatenews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Canada and Norway locked in international moose-off over whose is bigger
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bothell-Kenmore Reporter)
 
 
 
Bill proposed to allow Washington State students to use medical marijuana in school. Allowing experimentation in the lab with the chemistry teacher still a ways off
source: bothell-reporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Facebook hit with another 'record' fine. It's possible that they'll need to look in the other sofa, but I doubt it
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Protein bars recalled for undeclared proteins? That's just nuts
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Utility worker in bucket truck needs to find new pants, hose out bucket after close encounter with tractor trailer (with video)
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
I don't care what you're selling; if you advertise in this manner, I will never purchase your product
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Commuters in Seattle dealing with the closure of the viaduct are advised to leave early, be patient, and try not to let their cars catch on fire
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
"The best thing to do is remove yourself from the situation." So, moving out of Australia then
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Excuse me, do you have Prince Philip in a new car?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Fark Ready: Smoking crack, sex while driving land Nashua man under arrest in Manchester
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
And the award for best police officer name ever goes to... this guy
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this water tower
source: i3.wp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
UPS driver strips, grabs wet biatch in what could be the plot of Magic Mike 3
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Criminal: "You'll never catch me alive, coppers." Nearby pond: "lemme help"
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Sleepless Nebraska student builds 84 snowmen in one night. This story is brought to you by Adderall
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Manson follower who tried to assassinate President Ford is now living quietly in upstate NY, at least until one of you asshats puts the White Album on
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greeley Tribune)
 
 
 
♫ Swastika Acres is the place for me / At least that's what it says on my deed ♫
source: greeleytribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Three years ago, India committed $3 billion to cleaning up the Ganges River. Let's check in on how that's going... oh
source: graphics.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this colorful donkey
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Is a gang of serial killers murdering young men across the country? Possibly. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Police department seeks volunteers to get drunk -- and the response is overwhelming
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
El Chapo's 29-year old mistress becomes the latest person to "flip" on him at trial, describing in detail their relationship and business dealings she was involved in; and since his WIFE was also in the courtroom, she's likely the NEXT one to flip
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Mayor of Jamaica, Iowa arrested at 420pm for 18 plants
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Woman chugs an entire bottle of cognac when stopped by airport security. What's her Fark handle?
source: munchies.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Indiana is so backwards the Nazis live in Zionsville
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Let's play a game. Without looking at the caption, can you spot the camera in the photo of the room? No? Well, Airbnb claims it's easy to see, so that means you consent to being secretly filmed
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Echo park mudslide crushes cars. ᴱᶜʰᵒ ᵖᵃʳᵏ ᵐᵘᵈˢˡⁱᵈᵉ ᶜʳᵘˢʰᵉˢ ᶜᵃʳˢ
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
A metric ton of weapons-grade plutonium? A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with that stuff
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Why is China blurring men's ears? I SAID, 為什麼中國模糊了男人的耳朵?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Yale pulls out of plan for contraception vending machines
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Magazine suggests women put parsley in their vagina to induce period. Doctors say this is a terrible idea. Also, as this is the Daily Fail, we must now doubt the existence of parsley and periods
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dancin' doggie
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Best Korea celebrates its victory over the ocean by opening a beach resort
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Silly smart objects, smart toilets, and cars too smart for their own good. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz, January 6-12 Cornbread Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Two words: S......l......o......t......h y.......o......g......a
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New York City will be a snowing freezing hell this weekend rather than its usual regular hell
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Three Bentley owners prove that the cars have great brakes in £1 million pile up. New driving skills not included
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWTX Waco)
 
 
 
Reset the church shooting clock
source: kwtx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Sometimes, when your ceiling-based burglary spree through four stores is doomed to failure, you drink the liquor you stole and fall asleep until the cops show up
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. Louis Public Radio)
 
 
 
Winner of Ironically-Named Retirement Home Contest, Friendship Village doesn't want any old lesbians around
source: news.stlpublicradio.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston 25 News)
 
 
 
Subby and Woburn Police on the lookout for Marijuana Claus, but not for same reason
source: boston25news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man killed by hit and run driver just blocks from his home. Well, if they know where the driver lives, why don't they go arrest him?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lonely Planet)
 
 
 
Virgin penetrates wet hole, hits bottom
source: lonelyplanet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
What the fark are you doing? (HONK) Get the fark out of here, you clown (HONK, HONK)
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Like a slow-motion version of Final Destination, man who escaped from the World Trade Center on 9/11 is killed in Tuesday's terrorist attack in Nairobi
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
Video
 
If you helped saved the life of a man on the NYC subway last month, the survivor would like to thank you personally
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Sixteen year old finds about 25,000 lbs of golf balls in the ocean... in one little spot near some golf courses Why do golfers hate the planet so much?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 17, 2019
(Calgary Sun)
 
 
 
11-Foot-8, meet 3.8 Meters. You two should have a lot to talk about
source: calgarysun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Brace yourselves for a winter storm to end all winter storms this weekend as up to forty inches of snow has been forecast for some areas and over half the country will freeze
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Straight-A student unintentionally paid for his school lunch with counterfeit money. He has now been suspended by his metro Atlanta school
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Finally, the real reason why Brexit isn't working: Government minister rules out Batman becoming Prime Minister
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
He wanted to take one last stab at it
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Man looking at decades in prison for swindling companies into sending him free stuff by pretending he was on the Phillies, a member of Three Days Grace, and a member of Drowning Pool. Based on his mugshot, I would believe a couple of them
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Dog food recalled because it has too much vitamin D, which is not vitamin Dog as subby thought
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Justin Trudeau secretly invades Kentucky, brings the wife and kids and a canoe in case he needs to make American beer analogies
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Jumping over the Metro turnstiles remains a crime in DC. Don't worry, you can still smoke pot with impunity
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop the budding guitar virtuoso
source: 2.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Another casualty of the government shutdown? The marriages of furloughed government workers who by being forced to spend so much time together at home are discovering that, holy crap, we hate each other
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Louisville, Kentucky to rename airport after Muhammad Ali. Will soon be known as THE GREATEST AIRPORT OF ALL TIME
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
This CIA-issued spy tool kit was supposed to be hidden in: a) shoe, b) belt, or c) butt?
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Excuse me, do you have Prince Philip in a car crash?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Daycare operator charged after drunk child falls out of his seat. This is not a repeat from Drew's childhood
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Former dishwasher at Miami hotel, fired after missing work on Sundays for religious reasons, awarded $21 million by a jury
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
One may escape from circling police helicopter with infrared camera. But you're doomed if you cross into pasture of the Wild Stallions. Party on, Ted. Party on, Bill (air guitar)
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hold my Beer)
 
 
 
Photoshop this impending extraction
source: legendaryvideos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
The company behind Pokemon Go is somehow worth $4 billion
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Microsoft funds construction of 50 affordable housing units in Seattle
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Former ISIS fighter: "Sorry"
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Key West to ban straws... er wait, sunscreen?
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Israel defends McJesus sculpture, triggering Fox News
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If a couple guys from the Internet agree to give you rocket launchers and explosives in exchange for your car, they juuuuust might be FBI agents
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Woman drives Mercedes in reverse. While screaming. And naked. Because it's just a regular Thursday in Florida
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"Collection #1" considered world's largest public data breach exposing 773 million e-mails, 21 million passwords. Article lets you check if you're part of this historic event
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Officers find stolen ATV, gun, meth and dead bald eagle In Southwest Missouri man's facial hair
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Doctors use beer to treat alcohol poisoning. No word yet on Drew's campaign to have the same treatment used for the common cold, the flu, or morning fatigue (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Lady goes to feed pet crocodile, succeeds
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
♬ Stumpity stump stump, stumpity stump stump, look at frosty go. Stumpity stump stump, stumpity stump stump, wham your car won't go
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Calling all Farkers. Police department looking for volunteers to help train officers in administering sobriety tests. All you have to do is drink
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Facebook says it is NOT trying to harvest old photos of members during the 10-year-challenge. And now here's some specific ads for you. VERY specific ads tailored just for you. That change your emotional state and voting preferences
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
That rescue of the Spanish boy trapped in well to take few more days as Sting can't get to a recording studio until then
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Man takes his one dollar winning scratch off ticket to lottery office, demands giant check like other winners. Fark: Lottery actually cuts him a giant check
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Asshat in SUV tries to drive through giant 9-foot snowman, learns it was built over a giant tree stump nicknamed 'Karma'
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Father of the year leaves three year old unattended in car while he runs into the store for a few things. Things being crab legs he stuffed down his pants
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Plan would clean up New York Harbor with one billion oysters, which will be contaminated by all the crap they filter, which will make New Yorkers sick from eating them, which will lead to huge sewage flow that will recontaminate the harbor
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
14 confirmed cases of measles in Clark County, Washington. Guess what they all have in common
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"After the patient's back pain improved, he discharged himself"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
♬ Sergeant O'Leary is walkin' the beat / As Florida's public defender / He shot an animal inside the park that chewed on a Swede / She went to the medical center / What kind of beast aggressively attack-ack-ack-ack-acked? / You otter know by now... ♬
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
To serve and protect... and chauffeur and babysit the boss's kid on the city's dime
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Muse)
 
 
 
Photoshop Terpsichore
source: theoi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Everyone must be restricted to eating 4 servings of meat a month, 4 eggs a week, and less than 1 serving of dairy a day to ensure the survival of a world a lot of us wouldn't want to live in anyway
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Veterinarian student who took donated elderly, disabled horses from owners to her "rescue farm" arrested after cops found she sold them to slaughterhouse instead. Schlachthof fünf
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Going to a bar in Jersey City barefoot and naked is no way to go through life, son
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Café owners discover 'pipe' in their coffee machine, suddenly remember they are living in Australia and realize it's not a pipe. Also, the slithering was a dead giveaway
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
Ugly British tourist family to be deported from New Zealand for being louts of criminal, piggish character. Surely the land of Brexit will welcome them back as one of their own
source: asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Teenager dies after succumbing to pier pressure
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The Romero Institute discovers that Tiny Houses have some problems, including lack of storage, low resale value, and the constant reminder that you live in a trailer
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
Sing a song of three robberies, a pocket full of dye, wore no mask, paid with cash, smart is not this guy
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman claims her 4-year-old daughter banned from bus after the driver called her plastic Peppa Pig scooter a "weapon". *Snort snort*
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Did you lose your ass in Illinois? The Sheriff on Monroe County found it
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(gCaptain)
 
 
 
It's probably just a coincidence with the government shutdown, but the US Army is selling off most of its boats. In other news, the Army used to use boats
source: gcaptain.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Honolulu Star Advertiser)
 
 
 
Let he who has not hired 10 prostitutes and brought them back to his hotel while on shore leave cast the first stone
source: staradvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 715: "Straight Out Of Camera 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hour)
 
 
 
The wealthy have decided to cut out the business middleman and just become literal vampires
source: thehour.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 16, 2019
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Who knew there was money to be made as a witch putting baby-making spells on couples in a graveyard and letting them have sex
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
"Memphis Police say a man broke into a pickup parked in a garage, ate candy and drank beer left in the truck, then spray-painted the truck's interior before going to sleep inside it"
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
There are bold stoners. There are old stoners. But there are no old, bold stoners outside of jail
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Lawyers for the man accused of kidnapping Jayme Closs says that his confession "makes it hard" to come up with a defense
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Science)
 
 
 
In related news, subby's house has never been burgled
source: insidescience.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man from Georgia arrested for attempting terrorist attacks on White House and other locations
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War History Online)
 
 
 
Never bring a knife to a Civil War Cannon fight
source: warhistoryonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Illinois - the state that can't make money from a lottery, and, it turns out, can't profit from video poker and slots either
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Hipsters, be on the lookout for this guy randomly slapping 13-year-old girls on the street. With video
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
Today's mad lib headline: Louisville man's death at site of cockfighting ring found to be from hypothermia
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Squarespace)
 
 
 
Photoshop these ducts in a row
source: static1.squarespace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
"Jesus made me the smartest man on earth," says the man who drove his Ferrari off a dock because that same Jesus told him too. So, maybe just the smartest man in Florida
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
I'm Popeye the sailor man, I live in a garbage can; I eat all the worms and spit out the germs (thereby discovering a natural agent more effective than DEET for repelling mosquitoes, AAAhhhHHH Guhguhguhguhguh)... I'm Popeye the sailor man *toot toot*
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
That feeling you get when you're dispatched to break up a brawl at a sex party and you discover your wife is one of those involved
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
"Delete my browser historyyy..." *thunk*
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Retired NFL player finds peeping tom staring into his daughter's window as she's getting dressed for school. Don't mess with Dad mugshot ensues
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Coffee plants are on their way to extinction. I think it's safe to say EVERYBODY PANIC
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida solves opioid epidemic with new warning label on pill bottles
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Bridge to install bird spikes to prevent suicides. Apparently suicidal people don't want to inflict pain on themselves
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TV Insider)
 
 
 
Photoshop this haunted hill house
source: tvinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Examiner)
 
 
 
Don't call it a comeback
source: irishexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
People have rights to run "Sexual Encounter Center" in privacy of their own home, just not around these here parts. "Look, you want to play, I'm no prude. But I don't know who's in this crowd and everything, and I don't want them in my neighborhood"
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Hair appointment delayed by gossip? Time for Florida Woman to handle it
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Dude. This is your last chance. Run like the wind and don't look back, with or without colored contacts
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Americans' favorite sriracha sauce, "Rooster Brand," is now being exported to Thailand, where sriracha sauce was invented. And let's just say it's not going too well
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
El Chapo bribeo Pena Nieto bigo timeo
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Man caught trying to smuggle boa constrictor on plane after security spots 'large bulge' in pants. Derek Smalls unavailable for comment (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Twerking on the roof of an SUV driving down the highway is no way to escape St. Louis, ladies (w/ video)
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Fortnite had a security flaw that would've allowed hackers to tap into players' accounts and access online conversations, often between children. So ... nothing to worry about or anything
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
DC Cardinal Donald Wuerl wants you to know that he's terribly sorry for not doing more to stop the pedophile priests under his jurisdiction. It's just, you see, that he forgot he knew about them
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Indonesian fisherman claims he saw doomed flight MH370 crash, didn't think it was important to mention until years later
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
POTUS 2 weeks ago: "We have won against ISIS." ISIS today: Remember us?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Scots sex club celebrates Burns Night (whatever that is) in kilts with whisky, haggis and an orgy. Wait a haggis orgy?
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
High school STEM class creates cheap plastic cover that keeps B-2 bombers from having to make emergency landings
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
From a Farker who helps run a food bank, here's how people impacted by the shutdown can get food assistance (DIT)
source: feedingamerica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Polar vortex splits into three vortices... wait, that can't be right. It is? Whatever, there are three of them now
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman caught smuggling two dozen gerbils under her skirt, which sounds like a euphemism for something
source: 97x.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this temperature taking
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Fostering saves lives, just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman shoots boyfriend while taking Snapchat photo. NRA declares them NRA couple of the week
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Zoo has a few words for visitors after sea lion vomits up toddler's sock
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Milk and bread. Milk and bread. MIIIILLLLLK AND BREEEEAAAAD
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
At 3,699 square feet, this $6 million Malibu house features contemporary design, ocean views, slate floors, and has survived planetary obliteration
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Former top regulator of nuclear power in America, who touted U.S. nuclear power plants as operating "safely and securely," now says "RUN"
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Happy National Religious Freedom Day America, do the patriotic thing and join a cult
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Your tax returns will be handled by IRS agents who DGAF
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Does anyone know the Cop Math formula for 20,000 lbs of industrial hemp?
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
You can now send a furloughed federal worker a beer
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Does Florida have a Three Strokes law?
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Drinking beer you confiscated from minors is no way to enforce the law, Mr. Police Officer
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 15, 2019
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Click it or ticket
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Hi, I'm Chris Hansen and I'm going to have a seat right over there
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Admiral Karl Schultz, top commander of the US Coast Guard, tells the men and women of the Coast Guard that it's "the first time in our Nation's history that service members in a US Armed Force have not been paid"
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Poor sleep may take a toll on your heart. Tag is for Subby who can't seem to sleep right now
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs folding laundry? Amy
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Couple caught having sex in woods smeared in bird blood claim they're participating in fertility ritual. Then things get weird (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
UNC chancellor: "Fark you; I'm out. And I'm taking that statue with me"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
While the northeastern US is about to get slammed by snow this weekend, in Australia the sun is trying to kill everyone
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Get to the farking point already
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
If you posted your CV on a Chinese job site, good news: people are reading it
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Bug
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
In today's edition of Things That Never Really Happened: mom sees son's ghost after it tripped her security camera
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, throw it out the window of your housing project
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
It's never a good thing when you summon the antichrist during a bell ringing in a 12th century church that has 'Devil Doors'
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
In 2018, 11 million iPhone owners opted for a $29 battery replacement rather than a $1000 new iPhone XS, 10x more than Apple expected. This is bad news... for Android
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
New travel advisory: "China's all fulla hosers, eh"
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
The Jayme Closs story seems to get weirder. One attorney representing the accused was charged with taking $80,000 from clients, including one who was a tube-fed multiple sclerosis patient
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Two criminals' plan to be allowed to keep their dog in a cafe by pretending to be federal agents was eventually foiled by someone asking, "Who are you?"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
'Driver Strips Down to Bra, Undershorts as Pursuit Involving Stolen Car Comes to Bizarre End in South L.A.'
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scientist and his experiment
source: tempholdingspot.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Defense News)
 
 
 
Killer robot ships are now a thing
source: defensenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
As if having your luxury boat blazing in the water is not enough, a friggin' shark circling it waiting for you to dive into the water may be too much
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Airports: "Please arrive at least 2 hours before your flight". Atlanta Airport: Due to shutdown, queues are over 3 hours long just to get through TSA (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
NewsFlash
 
NO DEAL
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Nonprofit created to rescue poodles dismayed after Facebook page shut down for 'nudity'
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Fitness model fled Westboro Baptist Church after being told she would 'burn' for extramarital sex (NSFWish)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
'McJesus' sculpture sparks outrage among Israel's Christians, invite to White House
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Parliament prepares to play Brexit Deal or No Deal. Plot twist: all of the suitcases are empty. Vote begins around 1930 GMT (2:30 EST)
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Egyptian cotton. New hotness: Moon cotton
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
I don't remember if this article has been posted on Fark before
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The "Miracle on the Hudson" happened 10 years ago today. Feel old yet?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
As TSA no-shows continue to climb, passengers report not much has changed and getting through airport security is just as slow and miserable as always
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Spanish city's planned sculpture of Satan criticised for... *spins wheel*.... looking too jolly
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Clown)
 
 
 
Photoshop this presidential spread
source: cdn1.thecomeback.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
'Ukulele Invasion'. That is all
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Haʼátʼíísh, atah yínííł naʼadá?
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal News)
 
 
 
Good: You have enough money to be able to retire at age 64. Sucks: You die at your retirement party
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Finally, people are seeking an answer to the greatest culinary mystery of our time: Can you eat a flamingo? And if so, how delicious are they?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
My boss stinks. No, seriously he stinks on ice
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Here we have the chairman of VerizonFCC looking the other way while cell carriers are giving your cell location to stalkers, bounty hunters, drug cartels or whoever else has a working cc
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Mynah songbird stows away on Singapore to London flight, now has one billion air miles
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
LIVE VIDEO: Tappan Zee bridge demolition
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Scotland, disturbing a lekking capercaillie is now an offence
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Becky was a beautiful young woman, until she injected marijuana at a party. Now she can't tell correlation from causation. Don't be like Becky
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
16-year-old girl discovers that she's not as special as she thought
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
FTFA: "A threesome refers to three people engaging in sexual activities with each other. More traditional intimate encounters involve two people"
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Flat Earther's 2020 conference to be held on a cruise ship being navigated using GPS
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this chilly chairlift
source: cdn1.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Good night, funny lady. Carol Channing passes away at 97
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
Boobies
 
It's best to avoid all road rage situations. You never know who might pull something out on you (NSFW language in video)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Iranian Space Agency forgot to renew their Photoshop license (link changed)
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
Authorities have closed a section of I-40 outside Flagstaff, Arizona until they can round up enough Oompa Loompas to come clean up the river of chocolate flowing over it
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Alaska, an escaped rodeo cow has been wandering around a ski area for six months
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Not news: zoo sets up breeding program. News: for deadly Australian funnel-web spiders. Fark: there's video. Bow chicka wow wow
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
I *warned* you, but did you listen to me? Ohhhhh no, you knew it all, didn't you? Ohhh, "it's just a harmless little bunny," isn't it?
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Step 1: China accomplishes impressive feat by becoming the first nation to land a rover on the far side of the moon. Step 2: Conspiracy theorists cry FAKE. Step 3: Profit? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Pair of Florida hawks send more than a dozen to the hospital and nobody knows the reason why
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
¿Qué es eso, Lassie? Timmy se cayó un pozo?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
More science, Vegans take twice as many sick days as everyone else, report finds
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Actual Headline Mad Lib: "______ Drops Load After _____ Explodes." a) Circus Elephant, Clown Car; b) Teenager, Porn Star; or c) Garbage Truck, Trash
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 14, 2019
(BBC)
 
 
 
Want to listen to Africa by Toto on a loop? Us neither, but somewhere in the middle of the Namib desert, you can
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My News LA)
 
 
 
L.A.'s luckiest homeless guy survives getting run over by subway train while avoiding substance some call 'rain'
source: mynewsla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Newlywed charged with bride's murder in a shooting outside a metro Atlanta Popeyes restaurant
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Fugitive leaves 'I'm not here' message on mattress while playing hide-and-seek with cops
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Russia set to deploy underwater nuke drones capable of unleashing 300-ft radioactive tsunamis to swamp entire U.S. cities. On the bright side, if we get hit with this scary new weapon, we won't have to worry about climate change swamping our cities
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Wife of furloughed federal worker wins lottery. Only 799,999 to go
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman arrested after snatching four Rolex watches
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Uber: Our drivers assault passengers. Lyft: Our passengers assault each other on video when we arrive to pick them up
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
CIA reveals secret anti-aircraft spear technology
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop Elvis checking his hair
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
What better way to teach your children the dangers of driving intoxicated than to down a bunch of beer, and get behind the wheel of your car, with your son. Oh, while driving 150mph also. Mom of the year photo included
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
On tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET), 2 hours of songs that peaked on a Billboard chart in January
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Buy a beer for federal workers because nothing will make not having a paycheck seem better than a hangover
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you're first incorrectly declared dead, and then sent to the morgue where you end up dying from hypothermia?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
This day in history: On January 14, 1980 the notorious Southside Dentist struck for the last time
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Police say that 13 fentanyl overdose victims found in a house together knew each other. That's some fine police work, Lou
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
"Man killed after getting sucked into massive Australian blowhole" is surprisingly not a reference to Subby's bunny boiler ex, but that Fark headline is due any day now too
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Gisele Bündchen, bad Brazilian... Now that everyone else has left, let us discuss The Glorious People's Revolution. Or should we call ourselves The Glorious Revolution of the People?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
The lap dance is always better when the stripper is ANGRY
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
China: we sentence you to 15 years. Defendant: I'd like a retrial. China: we reconsidered; you're getting the death penalty
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dragon
source: vignette.wikia.nocookie.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hundreds of anxious British citizens have bought $380 "Brexit boxes", containing 60 freeze-dried meals, a water filter, and fire starter. Alumin-i-um foil hats sold separately
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Rotted teeth? Check. Feces smeared on walls? Check. Large spiderwebs in food pantry? Check. Mom passed out in bedroom? Check. Yup, it's another Florida Mother of the Year nominee
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
What starts with F, ends in UCK, and collapsed a bridge in rural America?
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Hacienda Healthcare launches internal probe to find man responsible for pregnant patient. It seems doubtful that he's still in there, but whatever
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
New Jersey Active Shooter/Hostage situation from this morning resolved. Hostages safe, shooter hospitalized. His demand that he not be shot was not met
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Stray dog adopted by gas station attendants. Attacks would-be-robbers during hold up. "If it weren't for Randy, who knows how things would have ended." Good boy
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(France 24)
 
 
 
After a lengthy investigation, trial to begin regarding the deaths of 95 soccer fans. How lengthy? They died in April 1989
source: france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
One of the biggest and wealthiest organizations in the world is whining about lost spare change
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Heart attacks no longer peak on Monday morni- ACK. *thud*
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AutoBlog)
 
 
 
New 2020 Toyota Supra debuts in Detroit, is immediately stolen
source: autoblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Coffee and Alcohol are "non-essentials"?? I think most people consider those their "I won't kill people today" juice
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
...and add Dulles Airport to the growing list of facilities that are being forced to close terminals because of TSA workers not showing up
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Navy Times)
 
 
 
Investigating the Fitzgerald Collision: "When [ADM] Fort walked into the trash-strewn CIC ... he was hit with the acrid smell of urine. He saw kettlebells on the floor and bottles filled with pee." And it went downhill from there
source: navytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
'No Pants Subway Ride returns to New York on frigid day'
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Don't be alarmed by the giant googly-eyed robot in Aisle 7. That's just Marty
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Chris Pratt proposes to Katherine Schwarzenegger with what appears to be an Infinity Stone
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsChannel 5 Nashville)
 
 
 
3.0 magnitude earthquake rocks east Tennessee, dozens of dollars in damage reported
source: newschannel5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
NewsFlash
 
Active shooter on the loose at UPS facility in New Jersey, suspect witnessed making a left turn
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Another accuser comes forward against a man who faked Down Syndrome to receive baths and diaper changes
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
On idiots who can't be bothered to clean the snow off the roof of their car
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Americans are now more likely to die from an opioid overdose than in a car wreck
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Police have 3-hour 'standoff' with an empty house
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this coffee roaster
source: aillio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Michelangelo stolen from church days before experts were to verify its authenticity. At least priests still have pictures of guy painting it
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Momma had a baby and its head popped off
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Your stolen car runs out of gas, you have an outstanding arrest warrant, as do both of your passengers, & there is 900 grams of meth & 85 grams of cocaine in the car. What do you do? You ask a cop for assistance, that's what you do
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
High-rise Chinese hospital goes viral for its potty architecture. It is definitely not squat
source: au.lifestyle.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Keeping Portland weird
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
Man arrested carrying 50 packs of batteries currently in cell, awaiting charges
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man who claims to have been wrongfully imprisoned, finds way to be rightfully imprisoned
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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