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Sun January 06, 2019
(Metro)
 
 
 
Guardsman whose face was used in snowflake recruitment advertising campaign to quit the army in disgust
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this grid thing
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Happy Three Kings Day
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Some Massachusetts schools are being forced to pay higher than minimum wage to get substitute teachers. Shocking
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Man cleverly uses insanity plea to avoid jail time for arson. Eighteen years later, he's having second thoughts
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this eagle rock
source: deathscompanion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Since this story is in the Daily Mail, we now question the existence of cakes, weddings, and the Philippines
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
"Things '60s kids, parents did that would horrify people today." Yeah, but we survived, didn't we? (Well, most of us)
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshopper Knockers is about to undergo chemo (01/07/19) for throat cancer. Knockers is facing baldness and losing 20-30 pounds before it's all over, so any Photoshops to lighten the mood would be appreciated. Difficulty: no boobies
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBT Mishawaka)
 
 
 
Christmas tree gives one last present before being discarded
source: wsbt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Drunk Guy)
 
 
 
Well crap, the next thing you know they're going to tell us hookers and blow are bad for you as well. Damn all those party poopers at the CDC
source: futureofpersonalhealth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
Florida woman's parents refuse to take her to Outback. Click for an all new misadventure
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
After 20 years working at gas station, man finally snaps
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high-speed skier
source: dsx.weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Taco Bell employee learns the hard way about the ADA
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Prosecutor who forged judges' signatures to get a wiretap on her boyfriend says she can't be sued by him because legal reasons
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 12 Richmond)
 
 
 
Man charged with domestic battery after throwing pizza in his father's face after learning his dad helped deliver him at birth
source: nbc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Guy finds out his kids are not biologically his since he's been infertile since birth. There was quite a discussion around the dinner table that night
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nothing says please forgive me hunny like getting a tattoo saying 'prostitute lover', 'liar', and 'cheater' along with multiple typos across your chest
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Rachel Dolezal to identify as defendant in court for welfare fraud
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
No. hell no. short answer "noooooooooooooooooo"
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
What's a good not cheap but not super expensive gift for a 17-year old who is really into Deadpool?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
♬ One week in Bangkok makes a driver humble / Bad traffic for New Year festivities / It's mostly motorcyclists who get crumpled / The death toll's at four hundred sixty-three / I can feel a taxi running over me ♬
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGME Portland)
 
 
 
You'll have to see this hole story before you can root for the boy
source: wgme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 05, 2019
(iNews (UK))
 
 
 
Tory councillor demands pro-vegan ads be removed from buses because of county's agricultural tradition. Because, as we all know, fruit and vegetables are built in a factory somewhere
source: inews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Listen, strange priests standin' around ponds distributin' crucifixes is no basis for a system of spiritual favor. Supreme tutelary intercession derives from a mandate from divine providence, not from some farcical and sexist aquatic ceremony
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Not News: It is super-easy to divorce your wife in Saudi Arabia. News: You can do it by text message. Fark: The government is requiring you do so. Ultra Fark: The change is hailed as a win for women's rights
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
I feel fairly certain that, once ALL of the facts are in, I will not only be exonerated, but in some ways thanked and celebrated by our fantastic police department for alerting them to some inefficiencies contained within the criminal justice system [NSFW]
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Burglary suspect tells police he didn't do it because he doesn't normally try to steal while on meth, says he typically reserves his criminal behavior for when he's high on heroin
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fog
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Manitoba Borg fan learns that resisting the DMV licence plate policy is futile
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Man purchases tuna for $3.1 million. Will now get "no regerts" tattooed on forehead
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guyco)
 
 
 
Photoshop this advertising icon
source: geico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Laws intended to protect firefighters who get cancer are like Appalachian residents: they often lack teeth
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Volunteer nerds developed an algorithm that predicted the location of lead pipes in Flint with 70% accuracy. But people don't trust AI, so politicians hired contractors for $5 million, improving the hit rate to 15%. The moral is: Science sucks
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Statter 911)
 
 
 
How pissed are Californians at fires? In brief, skip to :30 and find out (possibly NSFW)
source: statter911.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Butterflies)
 
 
 
Populations of Monarch butterflies drop 97% in 20 years. Brock Sampson sought for questioning
source: returntonow.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Laws banning organ sales kill even more people than we thought, so go buy that Wurlitzer right now
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
You know you're living in the NANNY STATE when you can't even feed a bird in your own garden (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Sure the murder of a bouncer guarding the door of the upper-crust sex club was unfortunate, but the orgy show must go on for the rich, kinky and famous (some images Not Safe For Work)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
For some reason or other, and we really can't quite pin down the reason, apparently a record number of Americans want to get out. Of the country. Forever. Hmm... wonder why
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The latest thing we're all doing wrong: sitting
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headline of the Year Winners - bumping for those just getting back to the site after the holidays
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Category winners / runners up Headlines of the Year - Main - bumping for those just getting back to the site after the holidays
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Category winners / runners up Headlines of the Year - Sports - bumping for those just getting back to the site after the holidays
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Category winners / runners up Headlines of the Year - Business - bumping for those just getting back to the site after the holidays
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Category winners / runners up Headlines of the Year - Entertainment - bumping for those just getting back to the site after the holidays
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Category winners / runners up Headlines of the Year - Geek - bumping for those just getting back to the site after the holidays
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Category winners / runners up Headlines of the Year - Discussion - bumping for those just getting back to the site after the holidays
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Category winners / runners up Headlines of the Year - D'awww - bumping for those just getting back to the site after the holidays
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Category winners / runners up Headlines of the Year - Food - bumping for those just getting back to the site after the holidays
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Category winners / runners up Headlines of the Year - Politics - bumping for those just getting back to the site after the holidays
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A hair-raising robbery in a local salon. Customers wigged out in shear terror. Fortunately, no one was clipped. Police combing the area for suspects. Highlights on the 6 o'clock news. Don't worry; weave only begun to pun
source: wpde.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you were wondering how effective Tumblr's ban on pornography has been, but didn't have the time to investigate yourself, the hard hitting journalists at CNN have done the research for you vigorously, and with great enthusiasm
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Viral marketing for Escape Room goes hardcore
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Statuesque reaction
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
♬ Baby shark moving from womb to womb, Baby shark moving from womb to womb, Baby shark moving from womb to womb, Baby shark ♬
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Has the whole world gone CRAZY? Am I the only one around here who gives a shiat about the rules? You think I'm farkin' around, MARK IT ZERO
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Houston teen charged with manslaughter after shooting friend during internet gun challenge called "No Lacking." Unfortunately they were both found to be lacking
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Herald-Record)
 
 
 
Tails of hope, just in time for Caturday
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Woman defends herself against dog attack only to be bitten by the dog's owner
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Guess what happens when a 26-year-old man can no longer afford his $1300-per-month insulin
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
With elephant and rhino supplies running dangerously low, ivory poachers turn to extinct species for new supply
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Essentials for flying during the government shutdown: prayers and cocktails
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Swedish man found to be puking blood turns out not to have ebola, just bad lutefisk
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
I guess she needed glasses
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 04, 2019
(NBC News)
 
 
 
19th time's the charm as Charles Manson follower recommended for parole
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
A couple things come to mind
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Not news: Philippines crucifies people. Fark: They volunteer. Ultrafark: Philippines Department of Health advises tetanus shots before crucifixion
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Germany, zoo elephants eat Berlin's leftover Christmas trees
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Veteran who lost his legs in Afghanistan learns jiu-jitsu so he can keep kicking your ass
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
South Carolina lawmakers propose 7% fee on gun sales. Although rebates are offered to anyone purchasing them while displaying a Confederate flag and wearing a white hood
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Yesterday's LA freeway pursuit guy is a veteran with PTSD that hung out at a mosque. THIS MEANS SOMETHING
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Mommy bloggers, beware - the first wave of your children are getting to the age where they can avenge your blatant violation of their privacy
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this begging robot
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
11-year-old boy on mission to give donuts to every police officer in America. He'd be farther along if his parent's weren't getting pulled over every three miles
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Sometimes there is nothing really to add to a headline: "Toronto man who allegedly wanted love advice from Trump held for mental assessment"
source: canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Celebs into video games, airline apologies, and of course Florida Woman. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz Dec. 23-29 Regifting Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
It's 2019, and we finally have flying cars. They may not fly very far or land very successfully, but like this driver, you can get yours simply by driving off a three-story parking garage
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Krystal Whipple sought in death. I just keep reading the name in Stewie's voice
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but it turns out that "online preschools" aren't actually all that good
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hundreds of TSA screeners across the country come down with a very bad case of "We're not being paid for this"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Sororities these days are being suspended for forcing members to study
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
New Yorkers petitioning to rename part of Fifth Avenue between 56th and 57th Streets after Barack Obama. Wonder why they chose that particular stretch of street? Oh
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this punk wedding
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Study shows that half of people who think they have a food allergy do not
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Old and busted: prison guards being bribed to smuggle drugs in. New hotness: drug dealers becoming prison guards so they can smuggle drugs in
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Police find knife-wielding man hiding in hole in the wall. Places like that always have the best food
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCBY Coos Bay)
 
 
 
Man arrested for causing distraction on interstate apparently couldn't see which way he was going
source: kcby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Locking your son in a box because of his behavioral problems? As it turns out, that's a behavioral problem. Welcome to your box
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Man wearing GOAT sweatshirt escapes by jumping out Precinct window, surprising officers who thought his answers only qualified him to be a Pip-Boy repairman
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Police find gun concealed in Louisiana man's buttocks. Florida man waiting for discharge
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Not news: Woman drops chip in Uber. News: She's charged £25 as part of cleaning fee. Fark: Uber upheld the fee due to the "severity of the incident"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
US: Don't go to China, because you might be arrested without reason. China: Well, don't go to the US, because you might get shot and go bankrupt over medical bills. US: Dammit
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
An unarmed kidnapper chased a woman into a karate dojo. It was a bold move, let's see if it paid off for him
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
'Death Wish' author dead at 79. In lieu of sending flowers, please dispense vigilante street justice by gunning down hoods
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNS Fox 21)
 
 
 
Drunk man stumbles in and falls asleep, wakes up thinking, "This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife"
source: foxcarolina.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
This list of best towns to live in per state cannot be correct. It actually recommends some town in New Jersey instead of leaving the state. All other recommendations are now suspect
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
32-year-old woman posing as Drew Barrymore tries to enroll as NY high school student, takes bus to and from school and gets in a full day of class
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Former Blink 182 frontman Tom DeLonge: There are aliens in the ocean, U.S Navy submarines have heard them. U.S. Navy submariners: We do hear unidentified sounds from time to time, but it's probably not aliens
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Miami Beach has a solution for "rogue" rental scooters: put a phone number on the side and anybody can call the number to have the scooter shut down remotely
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Manatee and make the mailperson proud
source: ddydc3qiky-flywheel.netdna-ssl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Well, that's one way to make your farts smell better (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Bullet falls through roof of Texas church during sermon. Pastor picks it up, incorporates it into sermon
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Not news: Woman gives birth. News: The woman is in a vegetative state. Fark: She's been that way for ten years. WTF is wrong with people?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Years ago, Minnesota penetrated Canada by mistake using just the tip. Now Canada wants full custody
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Username checks out
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NY Governor Cuomo throws an L of a curve for plans to shut down a subway tunnel for 15 months for Super-storm Sandy repairs
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
During the winter, check your car weekly for the level of antifreeze in the radiator. During a bitter divorce, check your drinks daily for the level of antifreeze in the glass
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
It's up in the air as to whether the restaurant will be Pho Keene Great or not
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Users of an earthquake early warning app may receive the alert "before, during or after shaking"
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
State senator files bill to ban smoking on all public beaches because who wants to walk, sunbathe in giant ashtrays?
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
American Airlines flight from LAX to JFK forced to make an emergency landing after a passenger saw a "sudden burst of smoke" on board. Put away the vape pens you IDIOTS
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago alderman arrested for New Year's Eve answer to the 'Do you still beat your wife' question
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Apartment complex calls out some guy over his car dent
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Five thieves with a backhoe lurk nearby. Suddenly a bank car passes containing $2.6 million dollars
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 03, 2019
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Old news, Florida man smacks McD's cashier because he didn't get a straw. Today's news McD's cashier retains lawyer, blames patriarchy and city's new 'no straw' rule. Florida is amazing
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
School district decides to arm teachers, non-security staff, aaaannnnd there's the lawsuit
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fosters)
 
 
 
Ten Commandments monument dwarfed by giant Atheist flag flying above it. In other news, there is a flag of atheism
source: fosters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Feds indict Bonnie & Clyde of would-be Nazi mass shooters
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
MINE *cough, cough* MINE *cough, cough* MINE *cough, cough*
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
"Wedding-day hijinks are all fun and games until the bridegroom gets chased out into traffic, hit by a car, and ends up suing the wedding guests"
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
76 is the new 27, Let's just get this all over within one thread
source: thefamouspeople.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
11-year-old boy with food allergies dies after installing fish fumes. WHERE IS YOUR COD NOW?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this strange interactive art exhibit
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Restaurant owner takes sweet Internet revenge on diners who skipped out on dinner bill
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Looks like Florida Man has some competition
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Wreck hunter finds cost-effective way of locating submerged artifacts: Hang out in pubs and buy beer for fishermen to get them talking
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
'Time traveller' just back from 2030 vacation claims humans will be taking holidays on the moon by 2025, says go by then because after that we will start uploading our brains to computers and start simulating realities later in the 2060s (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Due to government shutdown, there are no rescue crews available to get your hurt ass out of the national parks if you need help. Since this is Fark, you know what happened
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman who threatened to blow up 7-11 may not be entirely stable, which you'd never guess from a glance at her booking photo
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Army says, we already have enough bullies and psychopaths, so let's get some minor-league nutjobs that the bullies and psychopaths can pick on
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cheesecake postcard
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Ongoing car chase in Los Angeles: driver has beat four LAPD pit maneuvers and hit a person on a scooter so far, and driving on a wide-open 405 Freeway, a rare sight in LA
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Turns out porno queen Lynn Pleasant isn't so pleasant after all
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Friends, don't let your city become Seattle. We know, because we live here
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Mystery of headstone found at Oklahoma City school now solved thanks to student detectives, their great dane
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Archaeologists discover House Bolton
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOMU Columbia)
 
 
 
Racist EMS responder says y'all blew his racist Facebook post out of proportion
source: komu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Caption these magpie tanagers
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
China no longer mass reproducing
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
ABBA inspired mass brawl breaks out in Scottish nightclub - the winner takes it all
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Criminal mastermind robs dollar store where his girlfriend works, forgets to put his mask on until after a cashier recognizes him, and is later found with an envelope full of cash labeled "robbery"
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
It's easier to list what this guy was NOT on after being arrested for DUI
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Subby is not a maritime lawyer but it seems there are 3500 Nissans available for the taking in the middle of the Pacific
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
"Lawsuit says Burger King backed out of 'meals for life' deal for man locked in bathroom"
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Cleveland Clinic employee fired over anti-Semitic Tweets, will soon be nominated for Surgeon General
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Seafood restaurant being lifted five feet after global warming keeps sending the catch of the day inside
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
More than 15 million Americans have alcohol use disorder, no word on their Fark handles but one of them is "Drew"
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Crack-riddled bridge set to open in downtown Orlando. Speed loving tourists set to begin driving over it soon. That's methed up
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Traveling Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this road scene
source: visittheusa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Greetings from the future, plus Fark's Headlines of the Year
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Is it OK to toss an apple core or banana peel outside after you eat it? You know this article is necessary because apparently an apple or banana has never fallen from a tree before
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Winning $425 million lottery ticket sold in Long Island, where it's expected to help impoverished locals recover from the damage they sustained last week when their jacuzzis overflowed onto their yoga mats
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Everything old is new again; the same strain of the flu virus that caused a pandemic is 1918 is back. Could we see another pandemic? Tl;dr the article waits until paragraph six to say "no"
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Stand Your (Play)Ground
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It was either meth or the spirit of Hunter S. Thompson that possessed a Wisconsin man last night, if the police report is accurate
source: cbs3duluth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
You should rethink your life if you are 23 years old and have your mom throw an underage drinking party so you can meet young girls
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In a West End town in a dead end world, toilets are a problem for West End girls. West. End. Girls
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Calgary Herald)
 
 
 
Large legal pot crop destroyed just before shipping date, despite best efforts of probably every firefighter within 150 miles
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Economy's booming. National Debt is up $2 trillion under Trump. Send money
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Study finds average child consumes 18 years' worth of sugar by the time they reach 10th birthday. Of course the US is probably way above average
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
China has successfully landed a rover on the dark side of the moon. Moon. What a dumb name for a moon. Io, Castilla, Titan, and we settle on "Moon"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
Blade-wielding man booked after police standoff. For good reason they didn't call him Blade Runner
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
NYPD comes to rescue of Lexington cops who watched Krispy Kreme doughnut truck burn. "Hang tight, we are sending backup forthwith, and these guys came prepared. We hope you like sprinkles"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Ocean Cleanup device in Great Pacific Garbage Patch breaks, becomes garbage
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
Metal Straws are so last year. Get ready for the Great Straw Backlash of 2019
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Dumb: Robbing the hotel where you're staying. Fark: Dressing like Casper the Ghost to do it
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Illinois man attempts to kidnap 9-year-old girl from Harry Potter ride, earning an arrest and minus ten points for Slytherin
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Casper Star-Tribune)
 
 
 
Wyoming couple sets tent pitching record. Your mom will have to try harder next time
source: trib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Myrtle Beach Online)
 
 
 
Man visits strip club for a good time, ends up going down instead
source: myrtlebeachonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
That is definitely not how you pronounce that name
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 713: "Booze 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 02, 2019
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
Student sues school for having the audacity to allow him to be an idiot off school grounds after school hours
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
When did McDonald's start serving knuckle sandwiches?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Netflix frowns upon your Anne Frank cosplay attempts
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
2015 was the year of the Pizza Rat, 2019 is the year of Eggroll Squirrel
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greensboro News & Record)
 
 
 
Multiple people report a red sphere flying near the SC coast. Nena unavailable for comment as she's in a bunker somewhere
source: greensboro.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slider
source: regex.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nottingham Post)
 
 
 
Eve the horse didn't realize war is over and Reich has fallen, is coaxed out of WWII pillbox by British firefighters with tasty treats
source: nottinghampost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EcoWatch)
 
 
 
Article unsure on where we are with cannabis edibles and drinkables; Possibly high
source: ecowatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grand Forks Herald)
 
 
 
Calling what Wells Fargo did a "mistake" is like calling Drew "sober." It just downplays the truth
source: grandforksherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Lets see, it's dial "9" for Earth, and then "11" for an international call, and oops I just called the police from space
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
"First babies of the new year arrive in the New York area." If you didn't get a baby in this shipment, don't worry; this is the first of many large shipments of babies that will be arriving
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
The town in each state least likely to host a Fark party
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Biker)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stationary exercise
source: sporttechie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan Whoooooooo with God, Gene! Ric Flair inconsolable at the moment
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
I want to ride a bicycle / I want to ride a bike / So I'mma steal this bicycle / In front of the precinct in plain sight
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Apparently, in Queens, the cops have a problem with you beating someone to death for trying to force their way into your home
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
"Pete the groin crusher" has crushed over 10,000 groins *reflexively closes legs, winces in pain*
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
The most over- and underrated politicians that will snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in 2020
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOMU Columbia)
 
 
 
The early clubhouse lead for dumbest Facebook post of 2019 comes from a Missouri volunteer EMS responder
source: komu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Scientists have concluded that you will keep on aging until you die. Seriously, that is what they concluded. Here comes the live (for now) science
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rapid City Journal)
 
 
 
You call that snow? Let me tell you about the Dakota blizzard of '49
source: rapidcityjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 17 Columbia)
 
 
 
A robbery suspect from New Year's Eve is best described as a round Juggalo
source: abc17news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The Danes on the train will be rescued mainly by crane
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Ah, the first 'ear bitten off' story of 2019
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Protip: Don't scream 'why don't you die' at spiders when the police are at your door
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this press conference
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Remember that dog that was abandoned by its owner right before Christmas? They named it Snoop. Snoop Dogg offers Snoop the dog a home with his pack. This is your first Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread for 2019
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Blog)
 
 
 
Greenpeace ship Rainbow Warrior cut up for scrap on Bangladesh beach. French government dissapointedly puts away its limpet mines
source: libertyunyielding.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Carlsberg. Probably the deadliest lager in the world
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
CBS: "Let's watch the ball drop live." ABC: "Let's watch the ball drop live." CNN: "Let's watch the ball drop live." Fox: "Let's watch the ball drop live." NBC: "Let's have Chrissy Teigen talk about vaginal steaming"
source: spy.nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
They had the fish
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCCI Des Moines)
 
 
 
It's quite simple to deal with a banana fiend. First, you force him to drop the banana. Then you eat the banana. You have now rendered him helpless
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Shirtless Aussie man outside closed shopping center on Christmas day: Hold my turkey and watch this
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Bumble bride who ran off to Las Vegas and married her new husband on their first date" fired from nanny job after bondage party pictures emerge showing the au pair (NSFW)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Man stealing copper electrocuted at abandoned power plant. Sounds like it wasn't entirely abandoned
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
NRA scores a twofer
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 01, 2019
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Shutdown update: shiatter's full
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
Weeners
 
2018 was a hard year for penises, but not in the good way
source: adequateman.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Squarespace)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Partridge Pose
source: static1.squarespace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
With Europe pissed off with Britain, Scots causing trouble and the economy suffering, Queen Elizabeth decides a lottery would be a great idea
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Okay, so 2018's done and good riddance. But how much do you remember from the year? It's the Fark Weird News Quiz, 2018 In Review Where's The Aspirin Or Ibuprofen Or Whatever Edition UPDATE: Now with EASY Version (see comments)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
Getting liquored up at the local casino and aggressively tailgating some random dude for the thrill of a 30-mile chase is no way to celebrate the holiday season. Is it, Ms. City Council President?
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
One of Elizabeth Smart's kidnappers released five years early, promptly moves in near elementary school
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this balloon lady
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
One-year-old falls into rhino exhibit at the zoo. This time, it sounds like it may not be entirely the parents' fault. Zoo failed to totally understand what a one-year-old human is capable of
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Yup, marijuana can indeed kill you
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Twelve years ago, fluoride was removed from drinking water in Juneau, Alaska. Here's what happened
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Spun)
 
 
 
Rose Parade ends with a whimper as one of the last floats breaks down and catches on fire before the first turn. Fark: The float commemorating the completion of the transcontinental railroad (best non-paywalled link subby could find)
source: thespun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Real-life Ninja Warrior chases down car thieves, gives them the ol' what for and carries out a dramatic citizen's arrest
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
San Diego cops are able to tell your sexual orientation just by looking at you
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Somebody really doesn't like the idea of using Pedialyte as a hangover cure and really thinks you should just not drink
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Sydney's harbor fireworks bring in the new year with spectacular fail
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
The Army is very concerned about the activities of its privates
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Happy new year everyone, but understand that we're all going to die in the coming 2019 apocalypse (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Welp, that didn't take long
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
Those poor, poor donuts
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
"18 garbage trends from 2018 that need to die." What, only 18?
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crane view
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRG)
 
 
 
For the past week car wash owner's across Iowa have been looking over their shoulder for the infamous "Butt Crack Bandits"
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
History's oldest woman may have been a 99-year-old imposter
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Major tourist destination can't afford the tourists. Solution: charge them to enter
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Summit Daily)
 
 
 
Beer fight, liquor stores vs. grocery stores. Let's get it on. Wine somehow left out of the mix because mixed drinks. Unclear where that leaves convenience stores. I like convenience
source: summitdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
♫ Under the sea, Under the sea / Move your narcotics, Where it's aquatic, Take it from me / Smuggle by land, You have no fun, Got to hide packets in your bum / Down here we gloatin', Our cocaine's floatin', Under the sea ♫
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Contrary to the rules, city in Florida gives out parking tickets on federal holidays
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
US Navy wants happy hour twofer deal on new aircraft carriers - which coincidently cost about $25 Billion
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Florida Men almost become legends with this heist
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Jurassic World was the worst sequel of 2018, says writer who didn't see many movies this year
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
The time the Brits invented nuclear landmine that was armed by a desperately hungry chicken
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Stock markets, sick of all the winning, end 2018 with the biggest yearly loss since the Great Recession
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Sure sipping from these champagne flute nails will mean it might take you some time before you get smashed on New Year's Eve, but you will be the hit of the party
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 31, 2018
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
TSA phasing out pointy-eared dogs because they scare children. We can't have fear inundating our culture of fear now, can we?
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
French protesters are running out of speed cameras to burn
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Louisiana police chief: "OK, OK, there's not really Zika virus in meth, I was just joking"
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CP24 Toronto)
 
 
 
London police arrest 39 after attempted stabbing. That must have been a very big knife. The kind you take to a gunfight to hide behind
source: cp24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canadians use all the parts of the buffalo. Or lobster. Whatever (video)
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Beer Chariot leaves one more gift before the New Year by shedding thousands of bottled Lager. Acolytes risk their lives to fetch the holy nectar and beerlarity ensues (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
If you wanted to remember what JK Rowling's most brutal tweets of 2018 were, today is your lucky day
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTNV Las Vegas)
 
 
 
What happens in Vegas might not stay in Vegas, especially if it's measles
source: ktnv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
'12,000-year-old mummified Alien' found by Russian KGB agents in Egyptian tomb - if you don't believe me, check the grainy black and white footage for yourself
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Pot user in Washington state gets distracted by something shiny
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this photo shot
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
For the last show of 2018, Paul's Memory Bank brings you "FARK 2018", remembering a selection of people in the music world that left us this year - that is if it's still 2018 where you are. Starts at 8PM ET
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Alcohol industry doesn't care about "Dry January" because resistance is futile. You will be intoxicated
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
"The man had tried to sit in the wrong seat on the full flight and annoyed other passengers by playing music loudly, making "weird noises" and demanding to be served alcohol." Is Drew flying today?
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Research reveals that fragile masculinity is fragile
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Mass canceled after commercial fireworks found inside church
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Can you get a contact high if your new heart came from a 27-year-old donor who died from a heroin overdose?
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
**Spins wheel of growing "natural" health trends** --- Drinking Urine
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman uses asparagus to predict the future
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Happy New Year. We're all going to die
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsOK)
 
 
 
Man opens fire when he doesn't get his taco sauce. Otherwise known as a Monday in Oklahoma
source: newsok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Informed Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Korean News
source: fsi-live.s3.us-west-1.amazonaws.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Good news, NYC Times Square New Year's Eve revellers, the confetti has been deemed airworthy. Let the celebration begin
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
Lexus flips off interstate with cat-like deftness
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
McBain's state government leadership position in peril after arrest for drunk driving. No comment from Rainer Wolfcastle
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Iranian state TV boss is fired after accidentally broadcasting Jackie Chan SEX scene - wait a minute . . . Jackie Chan did a SEX scene?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Judge throws out frivolous lawsuit, stating that suicide is a personal choice, not a municipal liability
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The New Year has already begun across the globe. Post photos FROM THE FUTURE of celebrations while we wait for our turn at a new and less farked timeline in the coming year
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Australian police warn music festival-goers against taking 'dangerous orange pill' after fatal overdose. Americans weren't warned nearly early enough in 2016
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Pink sky baffles conspiracy theorists, who say it's proof of HAARP weather control and possibly also GUITAAR and VIOLAA (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Some pro-marijuana groups tried to sell legalization as a social-justice bill and the results are in: White people are profiting more from legalization and black people are still more likely to be arrested than white people
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Man with heart condition dies after going on Universal Studios ride. Family sues claiming that the signs that everyone ignores were in English only
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man orders wife diamond bracelet. Gets a bit more than he bargained for
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Chinese lunar spacecraft set to make history with first ever dark side of the moon landing, side trip to alien moon base in the works as soon as the aliens decide what they want to eat
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
"There was a big mess at a Memphis motel Thursday night after a guest got gross and began flinging feces in the lobby"
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
On January 1st, California to require all pet stores to get dogs, cats, and rabbits from rescue organizations rather than breeders. In other news, Daisy Hill Puppy Farm to file for bankruptcy
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Mom, girlfriend, and son conceived via in-vitro after his death hear man's heart beating in another person's chest. Rare hearing your relative's donor heart beating in new person trifecta in play
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Some lug has been loosening nuts on wheels in Oklahoma. Drivers would like to pick a fine time for him to leave
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Woman with 'disdain' for 'other religions' arrested for vandalizing cars, Synagogue. "They didn't say what her religion was, but given her targets, it's probably not hard to guess"
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
American holidays ranked. Who the fark likes Easter more than Halloween?
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Irish Times)
 
 
 
As Brexit deadline approaches, everybody in UK wants to be Irish suddenly
source: irishtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Thief steals tip jar from restaurant on Beaver Ruin Road, flees in car, crashes in pond and drowns. The question remains - how does one ruin a beaver?
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Perhaps you shouldn't buy a DNA kit if you don't want to know the results. " I bought everyone in my family AncestryDNA kit for Christmas. My mom started freaking. Now our parents are fighting and my dad might not be my dad"
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
What is the strangest thing dropped to count down the new year in your area? Link goes to traditional holiday DickButt drop
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this adorable little fella
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
BAH GAWD IT'S CANE toads riding a python
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
5-year-old shoots himself in the face at Wendy's drive-thru after finding dad's gun in seat pocket
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Some of those shelters for migrant kids have security cameras, and they show only the best people smacking the kids around
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
French resistance fighter who saved 350 Jewish children from the Nazis dies at 108. Merci beaucoup et adieu, M. Loinger
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
♫ Maybe he's just like Big Brother / He's never satisfied / How does Xi watch over others? / This is what it looks like... when doves spy ♫
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Automated wind speed sign in Canada broken in half by high winds
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Art Newspaper)
 
 
 
Finally, an answer to the question that has been plaguing many a Farker
source: theartnewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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