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Sun December 16, 2018
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Fairbanks, Alaska now has some of the worst winter air in the country. Residents say the smoke is so bad they can barely see Russia from their backyards anymore
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Among the traditional nativity characters in Catalonia is a little figure, trousers down, taking a dump
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
No, I ordered a Flaming Moe
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Face)
 
 
 
Photoshop this apeeling face
source: macdonaldspharmacy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Thoughts and prayers seem to be really working
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Not content with dragging people off their planes, killing passengers' dogs, or selling seats from underneath a toddler's diaper, now United Airlines is banning Santa (hats)
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mountain Xpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this quartet
source: mountainx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Megachurch pastor defends his $200K Lamborghini gift to his wife: "It wasn't a pastor that bought the car. It was a husband"
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
IRS releases new shorter Form 1040 for 2018, but with six new schedules
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ta-Da
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Two men share a name, one is a 90-year-old US army veteran the other is a dead Chechen Isis member also known as "Akhmed the One-armed". Guess which one is on the no-fly and no-international-mail lists?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
It's almost 2019, where's my flying car? Oh, wait... never mind
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Not News: Mercenaries rescue college student trapped by ISIS. Fark: The mission was organized by his chemistry professor
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Networks to start bidding war for new sitcom in 3... 2... 1
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Man, those must have been some seriously hot wings
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Zombie cyclone" terrorizes Australia, bringing with it half a metre of raiiiiiiiiins
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Want to really enjoy the season of giving without all that stress? Simple, stop giving
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this procession
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Scienticians at the Rick Romero Institute's West Island Of New Zealand Campus discover correlation between decreased fuel prices & increased motor vehicle accidents
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Maybe News: "Porch pirate" steals an Amazon package. Fark: It is full of cat crap
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Think you can still party in Utah? Think again, buddy
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
You try to help out a fellow drunk Catholic by massaging his stomach to help with vomiting, and then your hand slips and you're suddenly massaging his genitals. I hate it when that happens. Don't you, Reverend?
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Would you pay $2000 for a better orgasm?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
105 years for theft? *reads article* Yeah, that does seem pretty low in this case
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
On this delightful Fraturday, let us be reminded that brotherhood has no borders, ages, or genders
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago suburb forced to reexamine short-term housing rentals after a wedding party rented a home and had drummers, raucous parties, and a horse
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 15, 2018
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Eight drunken Santas arrested, four cops hurt ... your typical Saturday in New Jersey
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Police no longer permitted to shake down motorists by the side of the road in Michigan
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EuroNews)
 
Boobies
 
Old and busted: French protesters wearing yellow safety jackets. New hotness: silver painted NSFW protesters
source: euronews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Hey, who wouldn't want a free $500/month? Wait, you have to live in Stockton? Keep your money
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bend Bulletin)
 
 
 
Letting the public submit a name for a new elementary school? Schooly McSchoolface? Sure. Dwight Schrute Elementary? Cute. Osama Bin Laden Memorial School for the Gifted? Never mind. School district committee will have to be the adult in the room
source: bendbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Cribs: Super-rich doomsday-preppers edition
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pepper eater
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"A driver and his passenger were uninjured when railings pierced their windscreen." *clicks link*. HOW???????
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Here's a fantastic explanation of how your brain reacts to pot. Canadian Farkers: it's even better to read this while high
source: newsinteractives.cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
I guess you three owe that teachin' lady an apology
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Hundreds of Russian tanks suddenly lined up on the Ukrainian border? That sounds ba- hey look Eggnog (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fatherly)
 
 
 
Most men are sexist according to a bunch of broads
source: fatherly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this picture of a stick of gum and wrapper
source: candywarehouse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Miners in Canada have found the largest diamond ever found in North America, a 532-carat stone the size of a chicken egg. Will be carved into a moose and mounted on the crown of Queen Elizabeth
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Next Mass pot shop to be located in center of giant labyrinth. Goblin King interviews begin next week
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Today's forecast for Hong Kong neighborhood Sham Shui Po: Sunny with high chance of money raining from the sky
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Britain raises weather warning level to "Cor, blimey" as temperatures drop to 25°F or, as it is known in Wisconsin, "t-shirt weather"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Priest at a funeral: a) Tells the parents and the friend of the deceased what a great guy he was, b) Tries to comfort the survivors, or c) Says he's farking roasting in Hell and keeps on going after dad tells him to stop
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Lone suspect on horseback seen rustling 56 head of cattle. Did someone hit the time machine button again?
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Where do I apply?
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Carnival to add a roller coaster to the top of a cruise ship. There is no way this could possibly go wrong
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
It's high time for a higher alcohol tax. It would save lives, prevent crime, and mostly affect excessive drinkers. There, this drunk said it
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Ignoring the warnings of NATO and the EU, Kosovo decides it needs a bigger army. Serbia is enraged, Russia is siding with Serbia, and the US is happy to provide guns and ammo to a new conflict. Anyone know if Franz Ferdinand has a great grandson?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high tech sneaker from 1986
source: defynewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Isn't it odd that all these racist public rants lately involve white women? Nah, it's just a NYC subway rant, Never mind
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Hunter spots two points of red light in darkness of forest, so naturally it must be Bigfoot because there are no other animals that could cause this effect (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
One in four teens are too scared to drive. The other three are just too busy texting behind the wheel to even notice
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Monterey County Weekly)
 
 
 
"When somebody adopts an older cat, that just amazes me. They are heroes. They know that they're going to have grief, but there are so many rewards. These older cats are so happy." Welcome to a Golden Oldies Caturday
source: montereycountyweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Canadian car thief apologizes after returning car with full tank. Being Canada, owner pays for fill up. O Canada
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Several injured after energy facility overflows with resources
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Adulting Day? You mean Home Ec. It's called Home Ec
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State)
 
 
 
Chicago church saved from auction by last minute donation. Jake and Elwood unavailable for comment
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Top secret report documents Best Korea successfully evading economic sanctions. Well, maybe not so top secret now
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
$293,000 is still missing from the armored car that dumped its load all over a New Jersey highway yesterday
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Life in prison for man convicted of double murder in Joliet auto shop, which is a weird place to hold a criminal trial but whatever
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 14, 2018
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Blood spatter analysis has been used to put many people in prison. And it might be total bullshiat
source: features.propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Major project underway to identify long nameless Korean War dead. Identification of short nameless Korean War dead presumed complete
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
BBC to discontinue airing American sitcoms
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Man wearing Santa hat stuffs bacon in pants, beer in jacket at Kwik Trip gas station. No word on his Fark handle
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Target, Walmart, import company sued for their line of 'Flint water pipe' jewelry for kids
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
All the headlines for Headline of the Year MAIN headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Malkovich
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
The roughest, toughest, rootinest, tootinest, six-gun shootinest State East o' the Pecos
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Today's Facebook Data Breach is no big deal, it only affects the photos you didn't post. Wait, what?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Good news: Newburgh Heights, OH will pay 1/2 of your student loans. Bad news: You have to live in Newburgh Heights. Badder news: For 15 years
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
In unrelated news, Subby will be presenting a Master Class in submitting A+ Fark headlines for the low price of $500
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Vicar bans yoga classes at his church hall after members of 'congregation have issues' with its Hindu origin. Wait until they find out about the origins of most Christmas traditions. Of course this is the Daily Mail so now I don't believe in Christmas. Or yoga
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
Weeners
 
Kinky landscaper rearrested, now in even stickier situation
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Police hope charges stick against two brothers charged in death of man found wrapped head-to-toe in duct tape, investigators believe they are masking something
source: wwl.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Lego Millennium Falcon
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Maybe a DNA test that tells grandma if she's at risk of an incurable disease isn't an ideal Christmas gift
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NECN Boston)
 
 
 
Bomb threat forces the evacuation of (checks notes) really? Sandy Hook, on today of all days
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Bear drags woman more than 80 yards, fails to get touchdown
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Pornographers are in for a hard time under Trump's new attorney general, but say they won't take it laying down
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Somehow this guy managed to get his driver's license suspended 65 times by age 25
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wenatchee World)
 
 
 
Give a man a fish you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish you feed for a lifetime. Except when the fish is drugs and you're in a jail
source: wenatcheeworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Where's that confounded bridge?
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
The best way to combat slow drivers who won't get out of the passing lane is... a toothbrush?
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Please note: Never admit to murder during your job interview, even if you're applying at the CIA
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
"Amazingly, the heart made it in time to save the lives of its intended donor." That's a really cool trick. No word on what the Donor was planning to do without a heart. Running for Congress seems likely
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Just a reminder that if corporations are indeed "people," they are sociopaths, each and every one: Investigation uncovers documents showing that Johnson & Johnson has known its baby powder was contaminated with asbestos since at least 1971
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
When treated poorly by their local government, some men go home and write angry letters to the editor. Others plant a 16-foot pole on their property and mount a 700-pound sculpture of an extended middle finger atop it. Guess who this story is about
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
'Hidden treasures' found during Indianapolis canal cleanup include someone's lost wallet
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
'Memphis crud' was the name, and reviews, of subby's failed alt-country band
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Father and son arrested in drug deal, shooting. But what a team. Matching hoodies for the win
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Woman who has had three Brazilian bum lifts in four years wants the biggest bum in the world, seems like a completely healthy and emotionally stable individual (NSFW)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this biathlete
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"I SAID PUT YOUR HANDS UP---oh bloody hell, has anyone got a pen?"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Two more women allowed to testify against megachurch youth pastor who sexually abused underage girl and whose "end game" was to have them pleasure him at church. I wonder if he looks just like a megachurch youth pastor.... Jesus, he does
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Yellow vest protesters reach the U.K, shut down part of London. U.K alert level raised to "What's all this then?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The Titanic was found during a secret US military mission to find missing nuclear subs or see Kate Winslet's boobs
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Coincidentally, there were sparks, a fire, downed wires, a pole down, "bullets and bullet holes at the break point of the pole and on the equipment" where the Camp Fire began
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
This is the halting of the aid ship Aquarius, aid ship Aquarius
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(University of Glasgow)
 
 
 
Study on effects of lower BAC limit shows Scots can't drive sober either
source: gla.ac.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Son goes to fix up the basement. Dad shows up
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(River Bender)
 
 
 
A decent bartender will get your drink right. A good bartender will help you plan the perfect Christmas party. A great bartender will recover your stolen car and deliver it to you in time to make that Christmas party
source: riverbender.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Is that a Christmas tree...or are you just happy to see me?"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Real-life Batman, if Batman had sworn on his parents' grave to one day grow up and build a castle
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
When subby passes away he wants to go peacefully in his sleep, not with his genitals rotting off due to substandard nursing home care
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Scientists think exotic fish hitchhiked from Japan to California in tsunami debris, hope to create SoCal Kaiju
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Most popular search term on porn sites is somehow not "Ginsburg"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Cocaine publicist to the left, animal memes to the right, here I am, stuck on Bourbon St with you
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 13, 2018
(The Sun)
 
 
 
1.5 million penguin supercolony discovered after satellite shows one giant poop stain (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAY Green Bay)
 
 
 
There is no better video than a turkey chasing a child down the road
source: wbay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
So apparently, intimacy director and intimacy coordinator are neither porn industry jobs nor in the escort service business
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Let's see: Smartphone, trashy paperback novel, neck pillow, field medic kit, heart transplant donor family consent form. It feels like we're forgetting something
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
'Scooby the camel' charms Toledo neighborhood during regular walks
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
NHK equivalent of Jim Cantore heads to wintry Hokkaido town to demonstrate "waist-deep" snow, doesn't count on smartphone-toting local capturing him hopping into roadside snow bank to do his report
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
I'm not saying Elon Musk is an alien just because he may be hiding a mystery object near his SpaceX craft in space ... but he may be an alien hiding his mothership (possible NSFW content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Providence Journal)
 
 
 
Strippers who took customers to private rooms for a half hour of "anything you want" may have been offering more than a dance
source: providencejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Parrot falls in love with Amazon Alexa (some NSFW content on page)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
SEC spends more time on video review than elsewhere. Difficulty: not football
source: riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
Santa Claus is getting pretty old. He just might like to retire. Photoshop challenge. Create a character to replace him. Difficulty; No Trump
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1190 KEX Portland)
 
 
 
You can deny global warming. You can deny the moon landing. But don't you dare deny this Florida woman her sexy time
source: 1190kex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Cellphone takes bullet meant for officer, deflects it straight to voicemail
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNYT Albany)
 
 
 
School bus driver mistakes his job for the Bang Bus
source: wnyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Armored truck spilling cash leads to multiple crashes on New Jersey highway. Vertical video and grating New Jersey accent leads multiple clicks on the stop button
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
NewsFlash
 
Police shot the cherif
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Outline)
 
 
 
Japan has a contest every year for the best (kanji) word that summarizes the mood of Japanese society that year - and this year, it's "disaster" for all the devastating natural disasters
source: theoutline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Star Trek actors, space critters, and British chocaholics: It's the Fark Weird News Quiz Dec. 2-8 Weird Salad Dressing Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Arrest our spy tech exec? We take two of your citizens hostage. That's the Chinese way
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
School shooting in Richmond, Indiana. Cops were tipped off and got there in time. The shooter didn't injure anybody and took his own life, so not sure if this counts as a clock reset or not
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Due to rare eating disorder, 42-year-old woman... uh... does anyone have a British to American translator handy? That seems serious
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
JEB Stuart Volunteer Rescue squad suspends, but will not fire, EMT with long history of racist and derogatory podcasts about patients. No firing eh? Hrmm, Jeb Stuart? I know that name from somewhere. Probably nothing
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Car vending machine opens today in Indianapolis. But good luck getting all your money into the slot
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Krampus
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colorado Springs Gazette)
 
 
 
The lure of thong underwear was just too great
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Animal control officer shoots, kills bobcat that charged him from under a car in a downtown neighborhood. Probably learned how to do that at the police academy
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Victoria's Secret model shames customers with the old In-N-Out. Oh wait. At the In-N-Out
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heavy)
 
NewsFlash
 
Bomb threats nationwide demanding bitcoin ransom via email. Subby's work just took a half hour break outside
source: heavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Just in time for Caturday, "Charming Kitten" targets nuclear experts and Treasury officials... Wait... Today's not Caturday
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
NYT asks Brits what crime they've been subjected to in London. Terrifying reports such as 'Someone made eye contact with me on the tube once. The culprit is still at large, despite a massive police operation,' show what a lawless hellhole London is
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Contrary to what you might expect, "Alpha Gal" is not, in fact, the name of the latest female Marvel superhero. It is, however, the name of a truly terrifying tick-borne disease, one that may deny you the ability to eat steak or bacon
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
Boobies
 
Complement your reindeer boob with a "bum wreath" this Christmas so you can AW coming and going. Cheekily NSFW
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Actually, "Love, Actually" is actually a really bad movie, actually
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Anger Room" creator beaten to death
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Publisher marries newspaper employee, signs prenup, years later starts having headaches and shortness of breath, gets tested, seems like he was maybe poisoned with thallium, takes out ad accusing wife in same newspaper. The Aristocrats
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Tired of your Old Bay? Try some New Bae. This reminds me of that time North Face sued South Butt
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
NewsFlash
 
This does NOT deserve a news flash: Subby of previous link can not spell HEMP correctly. SMH
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
NewsFlash
 
This does deserve a news flash. Heap is now legal in the US
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You're 37% more likely to have a heart attack on Christmas Eve, which is mostly just from trying to get your kids to go back to sleep for the FIFTH DAMN TIME
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Those three idiots rescued from a coal mine in West Virginia were probably scrapping for copper. Presumably to feed some nasty habits
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Los Angeles county library allows kids to read away late fines
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Parents warned about deadly new game that features the image of a rejected character from The Dark Crystal
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 32 Chicago)
 
 
 
Human heart found on Southwest plane during flight. Hurriedly crafts press release stating you'll never find a heart on United
source: fox32chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump breaks his silence, wind
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he hears there is a fire alarm, he bursts out from his grotto rips off his beard and yells "Get the fark out!"
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TASS News Russia)
 
 
 
NASA refuses to probe Russia's hole
source: tass.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Middle schooler bullied over his last name. Johnny Hildo nods knowingly
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Diver looks like Popeye after his air supply was cut off when a cargo ship sliced through his oxygen line in Peru. Now has a strange craving for spinach, very skinny girls, corn cob pipes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Pic of man trapped in grease vent of abandoned Chinese restaurant shows his regret of certain life choices
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenville Online)
 
 
 
Money-grubbing megachurch cult leader John Gray gave his wife a $200,000 Lamborghini for their anniversary shortly after urging his followers to give him money because Jesus is strapped for cash
source: greenvilleonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOMO)
 
 
 
Photoshop this seal with an eel up its nose
source: static-40.sinclairstoryline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
A "Beaver Deceiver" is not what I thought it was
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Hunter shoots rare 51-point buck with a nice rack
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
Boobies
 
Art teacher sacked for letting teenage girls create beautiful art of the female form after lending her students her camera for a topless photoshoot in the cupboard
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Elderly folks around the country are thrilled to learn that their great-grandchildren want nothing more than a Poopsie Slime Surprise this Christmas
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Nailed it
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
It's that time of year again where authorities would like to remind you that trying to climb in to a clothing donation box can in fact kill you. Unless you're just trying to donate yourself, then you can carry on as usual
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
Super Bowl is in trouble
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, Reverent, Abusive, Bankrupt
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Older Americans are flocking to the devil's lettuce. Stop bogarting that joint, Grandma
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Little Blue Vape Juice" doesn't quite have the same ring to it
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Despite the last line, the employment status of the elementary teacher who snorted morphine in front of a student is quite clear
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Naked and crazy while crashing your car into an apartment building is A way to go through life, but maybe not THE way
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cut)
 
 
 
"Inside the mind of a plagiarist" (easiest headline I ever submitted)
source: thecut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 710: "Blur 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 12, 2018
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Father Christmas gets a parking ticket despite displaying disabled badge, but as this is the Daily Fail, I now believe Santa exists
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MEL Magazine)
 
 
 
Inside the secret world of doctors who love whippets to whip their heads good ..."because it's easily accessible and undetectable on drug tests"
source: melmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Man goes full Stay Puft with Christmas display, puts up inflatable Santa taller than his house
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wimp)
 
 
 
Runaway horse never going back. Wrong way on a one way track
source: wimp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GTA Dumbass)
 
 
 
Police serve a courteous 'wake-up' call on driver, who in turn leads them on a high speed chase. (With an I'm satisfied mugshot)
source: inmaricopa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NC now investigating election fraud in the primary. Next? HOA presidents
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Amazon worker cuts out porch pirates, steals gift cards, electronics, eyebrow pencils from distribution center. Should have used more pencil on mustache instead
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mobilized outhouse
source: 3.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The old "alligator ate my husband" routine isn't working this time. Nice Try, Florida
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Take it from this ex-squirrel: Don't bourbon up and crawl inside a transformer. Bumblebee unavailable for comment
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Migrant caravan invents democracy
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Protestor throws bag full of rodents onto floor of Colombian parliament. Unexpected Fawlty Towers: one lawmaker insists "Ees not rat, ees hamster"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Teens no longer sleepless in Seattle
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
When a conversation begins with "Hey man, I ain't no thief," you're dealing with a thief
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Temperatures in the Arctic among the warmest on record, amount of sea ice close to all-time lowest level. In other news, status of GoFundMe account to buy snorkels for polar bears unknown
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Amazon driver caught on video practicing lawn bowling moves with Christmas package
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The judge who let rapist Brock Turner off with a slap on the wrist, and was subsequently tossed off the bench in a recall, is asking for help to pay off the $135,000 in legal fees he was ordered to pay for filing a frivolous lawsuit against the recall
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Repairman)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wringer washer
source: thumbs.worthpoint.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
Harmless email about an office potluck gift gets the reply-all'd to 25,000 employees who then proceed to reply-all to be taken off the reply-all thread. Reply-allarity ensues
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Pope Francis demotes two pedophile cardinals to pigeons
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Judge issues restraining order against 6th grader to stay at least 50 feet away from other classmate he's been bullying, beating up. There. Problem solved
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Your wife tells you she wants to use a sperm donor to get pregnant because A) you are infertile, B) you are a carrier of a potentially dangerous genetic trait, or C) you are not attractive enough. OUCH
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Sixteen-year-old virgin scores a free trip to island where men have unlimited sex with prostitutes, and along with it a guaranteed winning entry for his "What I did on my vacation this year" report
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Online petition demands "Once Upon a Deadpool" poster be pulled because it discriminates against Mormons, which is ridiculous as poster has black guy in it
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
VAJEATR
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Model who "never thought her pictures would go anywhere" discovers where they're going
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Wake up sheeple, HAARP weather control from the U.S. government is real and working: Mysterious straight cloud emerges over New York City (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
♫♪♫ And another witch down, and another witch down, and another witch down, another witch bites the dust...♪♫♪
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
That's not a robot, that's just a guy in a suit
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Star Herald)
 
 
 
New workplace trend: quitting a job by pulling a Keyser Soze
source: starherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
No one wants to live in 9 of the 10 "most affordable cities" for business professionals. The other has hookers and blow
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Flushed but not forgotten, ring is rediscovered in New Jersey after 9 years down the drain. Please don't let this be the plot of a Jersey Shore reunion
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Strasbourg shooting suspect still at large, now revealed as "Cherif C.," a man with a lengthy criminal record in France, Germany, Helvetica, and ITC Cheltenham
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Cohen's sentence is about to be revealed in Manhattan court. Details are unclear but they did use a forklift to bring in the book they're about to throw at him
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Germans really are obsessed with traveling down the Hershey Highway
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
91% of millennials use mobile device while driving, still manage to avoid farmers markets
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Utah is hiring a 'cannabis czar' to deal with all things pot, which is cool, because the beer there sucks
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kitchener Record)
 
 
 
Contestant on 'The Price is Right' gets damned to hell via a trip to Winterpeg Canuckistan - incorrect spelling intentional
source: therecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The Columbia University student who was caught on video unleashing a racist tirade says he is not racist
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Create a Craft Beer based on your Fark handle. Link goes to YIS
source: images.search.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
My dog is waiting for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday, not just a steak. Here's the science
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Sir, we've had complaints that your party is too loud.. oh hey is that the new Smash Bros?
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLOS 13 Asheville)
 
 
 
Earthquake strikes Eastern Tennessee. Dozens of dollars in damages reported
source: wlos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Disney bus crash injures 14. Medical bills likely to cost less than admission to the park
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Catholic priest charged with having church money "just resting" in his account. Accomplices include an old, lecherous drunk and a fecking eedjit on rollerblades
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Helpful "cousin explainer" chart. Or, as it's known in Alabama, "family hedge"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
62-year-old crackhead waited three days to report theft of crack money because he was busy smoking crack
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Shoplifter in court after getting pancaked by a fat Good Samaritan
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Vote of no confidence in Theresa May to go ahead after Tory MPs exceed threshold needed to trigger a vote
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Facebook HQ in Menlo Park evacuated after bomb threat
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Cheers, Chicago You're home to the most breweries in the US
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Hoar frost: Not just something the hookers in Times Square experience this time of year
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 11, 2018
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
NICU nurse gives birth to preemie twins at hospital she works at, allowing her to get a head start at working off the giant pile of bills that will come with them
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Huawei CFO granted bail; Will have to endure Canadian winter
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Windsor Star)
 
 
 
Armed robbers attack Bear Store with beer spray, or something
source: windsorstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
This lane is reserved for car spools only
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Portugal steals cocaine from vacationing couple
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
It's quickly escalating SantaCon season again
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Morticians explain how people choose the clothes they'd like to be caught dead in
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Drunken man chases car with sword, snow shovel. There can be only one.... Rare 'man attacking automobile' trifecta now in play
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Alabama prison homicide rate highest in nation, explaining why the guards don't want to play football against them
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
"MTA Toys With Slightly Less Slow Speeds On N/R Lines, Promises More Speed To Come," in move that will surely be at least as clunky as the headline used to announce it
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Where are those &*%$ Hatchimals?? Desperate last-minute shoppers will miss Toys R Us the most
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In just 200 years, humans reversed a climate trend lasting 50 million years. We are an industrious lot
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Shy Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this balloon guy
source: prsuit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Just don't ask Drew to perform your bris
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Apparently Utah's state flag is an SOB (Seal on a Bedsheet) Let's offer some improvements
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Scientists have recovered complete skeleton of Little Foot. Still looking for Cera, Ducky, Chomper and Spike
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
In another victory for normal people doing normal things, Pool Patrol Paula pleads guilty to assault and battery
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Gunman opens fire at popular Christmas market in Strasbourg, France . At least two dead. Story developing
source: amp.theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Police looking for man who robbed Dollar General while holding a Victoria's Secret bag, claim he'll never escape the thong arm of the law
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The Chinese government is offering big payouts to people who snitch on porn watchers. Jerks
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Yahoo was written off years ago by everyone else, but Verizon's only getting to it now
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Free pens are responsible for the opioid crisis. Your local credit union is immediately suspect
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Novinite)
 
 
 
Bulgarian Driver Died in a Crash between 3 TIR Trucks in Italy. Wonder if the accident could have been avoided if the trucks had 4 TIRs
source: novinite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Rock Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Parco dei Mostri
source: visitcentralitaly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Sex Offender Santa would really like for parents not to be told about the children's party at his house
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Astrological signs can now be used for medical diagnosis. Well, a few of them, anyway. OK, maybe one of them. Still, suck it, science
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Zomato driver sacked after eating customer's takeaway. Turns out you can't do anything at Zomato
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Mum claims daughter, 3, captured dead granddad talking to her from the grave in Snapchat video. No sure what's more incredible: proof of ghosts or someone over the age of 30 using Snapchat
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Man facing charges after putting 13-month baby in 'tumble dry' dryer. Silly person, everyone knows you should use the 'fluff' cycle (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Sex Island reveals secret location and I don't why I'm bothering to type because you've probably already clicked the link
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Ancient castle found in blurry Google image of Antarctica, or it could just be a large rock (it's a large rock)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Man fires 15 shots at roommates after drunkenly knocking over Christmas tree. Maids-a-milking, ladies dancing ran screaming before he was tackled by lords and drummers, Feathers everywhere
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Turns out grandma's ceramic Christmas tree is worth something on eBay this time of year
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Toledo Nazi gets life in prison for murdering Heather Heyer at the Charlottesville rally
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Catholic priest charged with patronizing a Salt Lake City prostitute to be reassigned, presumably until he's ready to upgrade to altar boys
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
And you thought YOUR family holiday cards were awkward
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Our long national nightmare is over: "Baby it's Cold Outside" is back on the radio
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Runaway plane never coming back. Wrong way on a one-way track
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Jimmy Dean recalled for being more like Upton Sinclair
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
Film critic accused of plagiarism after they noticed similarities in reviews for "Ferngully," "Avatar," "Pocahontas" and "Dances with Wolves"
source: blogs.mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zero Hedge)
 
 
 
So many people want to risk catching electric gonorrhea: the noisy killer
source: zerohedge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Archaeologists find 1700-year-old skeletons in Peru that are at least two feet shorter than expected
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
♪ Ah zip-a-dee-doo-dog, zip-a-dee-ay, my, oh my, what a Florida Day. Plenty of po-lice, heading my way, swing the bag of dogs around the bar while being cray-cray ♪ Meh, meter's off, but it's close enough for Florida
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Scientists unravel mystery behind redheads, but whether they have souls remains unknown
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Video claims to show natural arches, hoodoos being blown up in Utah. Hodor, hobos unavailable for comment
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Is the 'c' or 's' in 'scent' silent? I don't know either, but here's a neat story on how scents are made
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Time Magazine's Person of the Year cuts right to the bone
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Journal)
 
 
 
Walmart employee goes rogue on intercom
source: edmontonjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Grinch)
 
 
 
How one man's quest to one-up the Griswolds and spread Christmas cheer led to a miserable four-year war with his neighborhood
source: inlander.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Mad Man)
 
 
 
Photoshop this competitor
source: motorcyclistonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida Uber Eats customer finds soiled underpants in food order
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Recent technological development threatens to just ruin the youth of this country. It is called radio. Here comes a newspaper article from 1944. Bonus: Twitter user pinned 19th Century hysteria about reading novels
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Bike safety advocate hit by truck while cycling
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Court steps in to avoid ruining Fratbro's life, preserve chances for eventual judicial seat. Fark: based on non-public evidence
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Come to Sex Island for the, uh, scenery...yeah scenery, that's the ticket (Not safe for work)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Standing outside the police department's gun buyback trying to buy them yourself isn't going to win you any friends on the police department, Mr Constable
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Don't go driving electric scooters, please toss them in the rivers and lakes that they're used to
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Sorry Tom, the Delta flyer won't have emotional support kittens on board
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Sinkhole in road gets fixed thanks to Santa
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Torn, er SHREDDED from the Front Page of the Bangor Daily News: "No, that's not an '80s metal band. It's a herd of cows." (w/video)
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 10, 2018
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Tis the season for rare gold coins to be dropped into Salvation Army kettles
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Driver fined $300 for having Father Christmas as unsecured load. Santa asks, "Are we not doing phrasing now? Ho Ho Ho"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Area man takes the Stampede Art Gallery's suggestion
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Concealing 12 inches in his pants prompts deputies to launch a manhunt
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Welsh hill becomes a mountain after scientists decide it's more than a cwm with a view
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
'Zombie' bacteria outweighs humanity by nearly 400 to 1
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Gambling on an asylum bid in Europe? You might want to steer clear of Denmark, which will apparently ship you to Azkaban if your bid is rejected
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Map showing revolving debt burden by state shows that meth dealers now take credit cards
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Holy TOLEDO. Federal authorities have charged two people involved in planning separate large-scale attacks - one for a shooting at a synagogue and another for a bar shooting and blowing up a pipeline
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Taj Mahal tickets rise by 400% in price for Indians; Van der Graaf Generator, Amon Düül II tickets pretty much unobtainable
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop these tie toters
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Texas firefighters save hundreds of snakes from burning house. No word if they found the missing bike
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) - Stuff I've added to my iTunes Library in past Decembers, minus the Christmas Music
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Oh, like you haven't disciplined your car before
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
McDonald's: "We add little toys to our kid's meals to make them happy." Sonic: "Amateurs"
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Tribune Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this subject of pillow talk
source: trbimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Outdoor Christmas lights being destroyed by (a) Teen vandals getting a cheap thrill, (b) Intolerant snowflakes waging a war on Christmas, or (c) Squirrels. Tag is for any creature that thinks lead-coated wires have a good flavor
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Headline of the day to ponder while you're on the throne: "What Happens When 25,000 Amazon Workers Flush Toilets?"
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Macron surrenders
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Londonist)
 
 
 
Cash machine in London, England will read your tweets for 2018, decide if you've been naughty or nice, and dispense a lump of coal or chocolate coins. Either outcome still worth more than the British Pound
source: londonist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Gavin McInnes reaches rare Yolo Minneapolis level: he's now banned on YouTube and has no media outlets left
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Group hopes refugee camps can be improved by running them like music festivals, presumably meaning more drugs and fewer port-a-potties
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
♫ No one fights like Gascón, takes guns on flights like Gascón, retaliates against those that he spites like Gascón ♫
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Winter storm that hit Southeast US kills at least one, leaves more than 300,000 customers without power, forces cancellation of over 1000 flights. In other news, milk and bread distributors spotted yacht shopping, lighting cigars with $100 bills
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State)
 
 
 
The war on Christmas now includes a scorched earth policy
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDTV Bridgeport)
 
 
 
Like the start of every X-file episode ever: A search is underway after police find the ATV that four missing men were last seen riding, parked near the entrance of an abandoned, and supposedly sealed coal mine in WV
source: wdtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Another result of climate change? Secret mutant fugu. Charles Xavier unavailable for comment
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Millennials you're going to get to be rich, we just don't know when yet
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Woman throws baby during argument over Amazon purchases. Twice
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
'Hey, let's climb up on the school roof tonight' Six police cars and a fire truck later: 'We've made a terrible mistake'
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
If you're going to be a porch pirate these days, you really should think about how you're going to look in your mugshot. You should also hope you get something better than a half gallon urine jug and some dog food
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
After checking her ID twice, calling her supervisor, and talking to the patient, the police officer still believed the woman wearing scrubs was part of an elaborate ruse to work as a nurse while black
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently someone in Washington State REALLY doesn't want a complimentary copy of "The Watchtower" or to talk about their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Former Russian cop already in jail for 22 murders has been arrested for 55 more as DNA and forensic evidence linked him to other unsolved murders, setting a new national record for a serial killer in Russia or the former USSR
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
It's official: Too much screen time for children is causing premature thinning of parts of the brain and could have a detrimental effect in the long run. If you're reading this on a mobile device, don't worry; we're adults and therefore a lost cause
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDTV Bridgeport)
 
 
 
Too busy to catch the nativity play at church? Won't be able to see your kids reenact the play at their school? The Middleville Baptist church in Bridgeport, West Virginia has got you covered
source: wdtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Pizza delivery driver claims he can give up foods for month at a time and only live on air and sunlight, which are just the worst pizza toppings
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Kirk Douglas is kicking Father Time in the balls, as he just celebrated his 102nd birthday
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Powderhead)
 
 
 
Photoshop this holey fort
source: undergrounddetective.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
More than half of motorists screened in the UK over the summer failed drug tests. No wonder they all drive on the wrong side of the road
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Soy sauce 'colon cleanse' hoax goes horribly wrong with woman left brain dead after trying fake internet trend
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Florida student who was left in a wheelchair after a debilitating spinal injury defies the odds by walking across the stage to collect his university diploma using an exoskeleton
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
True meaning of Watership Down revealed by daughters of creator: "It's just a story about rabbits"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
These boots were made for dying
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Schools in one state are really, really effective at covering up crimes, whether it's rape, gun violence, or assaults
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Citizen)
 
 
 
Ottawa health authorities threaten to suspend 25,000 students unless their vaccinations are up to date - your move anti-vaxxers
source: ottawacitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Paralyzed Humboldt Broncos player appears to be living out a sequel to Final Destination
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
A Rhode Island school has decided to deal with unpaid student lunch balances by... A) Forgiving all the debts. B) Asking the public for help Or C) Turning over the debts to a collection agency
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
If you look up, you'll fall down
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
The generation that enjoyed the 'summer of love' in the sixties is now suffering from unprecedented levels of STIs in their sixties. (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Skip)
 
 
 
Bro, do you even jump?
source: traveller.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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