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Sun December 09, 2018
(Twitter)
 
 
 
It's the most wonderful time of the year
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Last night's party was the bomb
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
The adoption process is hard enough without discovering the baby probably never existed
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Pittsburgh police investigating the distribution of antisemitic pamphlets near the scene of the synagogue terror attack
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The list of top dog names for 2018 makes you realize that people are a lot better at naming dogs than at naming other people
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this moth staring at you
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAKE Wichita)
 
 
 
"Post Death Medicaid Lien" is the latest in thing in the American health care system. (rolls eyes)
source: kake.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The real question is, how the fark do you concealed-carry an AK-47?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Elvis has left the sidewalk
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Jack Sparrow impersonator who was married to ghost of 300-year-old pirate: "We're going arrrr separate ways"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hey, Urhines. Looks like there's competition for stupid baby names
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this exterminator
source: jimineykricket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Tiny violins sought as infamous Alabama speed trap town sinks into further financial trouble
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
"He called himself 'shark bait' because he was a surfer," says old chum
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Wilfred DeFour, 100-year-old Tuskegee airman from World War II, dies
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
And so it begins: arrest made at a Texas church for religious intolerance
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
95-year-old federal judge puts his gavel down twice a week, laces up his boots, and goes ice dancing with his Russian coach
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Letters from the War on Christmas
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from NOVEMBER 2018 - POLITICS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from NOVEMBER 2018 - DISCUSSION
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from NOVEMBER 2018 - D'AWWW
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from NOVEMBER 2018 - FOOD
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from NOVEMBER 2018 - ENTERTAINMENT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from NOVEMBER 2018 - BUSINESS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from NOVEMBER 2018 - SPORTS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from NOVEMBER 2018 - GEEK
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from NOVEMBER 2018 - MAIN
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Old and busted: speed dating. New weirdness: Uber pool dating
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
If you had any travel plans involving airlines today, well... chances are you're hosed. Also, stop with the naming of winter storms. It's just stupid
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cool swimmer
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday morning: "Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward." Lessons you learned the hard way
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Could separate but equal airplane sections be the key to safer skies?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Someone bought Christmas trees online, sight unseen. This is how it turned out
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Yes ... there's a reason the mountainside is called Lookout Point (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Panic at the disco leaves six dead
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"ICE takes very seriously the health, safety and welfare of those in our care ... including providing access to necessary and appropriate medical care." And presumably will take very seriously the $60 million wrongful death suit for killing a child
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boarding Area)
 
 
 
Not news: you can't land an airplane blind. Fark: hold my beer
source: viewfromthewing.boardingarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
World Health Organization and CDC both say that multiple outbreaks of measles have been spotted
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 08, 2018
(NYPost)
 
 
 
CAUTION: Men AND WOMEN at work
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Uranus Examiner gives up, blames annoying dingleberries
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
This Brexit 'Doomsday Prepper' is taking no chances
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Not news: Death of Russian human rights advocate. News: Of old age
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this skyscraper
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Smalltown Rag)
 
 
 
THIS is why we need Grammar Nazis
source: hamrosuchana.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Nude couple atop pyramid prompts Egyptian investigation. Officials blame foreigners with mummy issues
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Kitchn)
 
 
 
Washing dishes as stress relief? Color me a skeptic ... with a sink full of dishes
source: thekitchn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is Colossal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this floating cloud
source: thisiscolossal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
They use 75 percent less energy than traditional incandescent bulbs and last 25 times longer. Why aren't we all using LED bulbs for everything, again?
source: hellohomestead.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Meth is a hell of a drug which can eventually turn you into skullface
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump has full confidence in John Kelly
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Former Miss Kentucky became a teacher. But since you are reading about her on Fark you can guess what happened recently
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
If you like having perfect strangers gleefully poke you in the stomach, have we got a holiday gift idea for you
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(McSweeney's)
 
 
 
Best health care in the world. THE BEST
source: mcsweeneys.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
First they came for the straws, and I said nothing, for I am not a straw. Then they came for the plastic utensils, and I said nothing, for I am not a plastic utensil
source: pdx.eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Hapless burglar finds out that Baskin-Robbins secret 32nd flavor is actually 'whoopass'
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
Cop fired for having "relationship" with a high school student. Fark. Who was over 18. TotalFark: Cop wasn't working at the school. UltraFark: Internal affairs investigation noted cop hadn't violated any department policies or criminal laws
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
When I was a kid, we had to walk to school in the freezing weather 20 miles every day. We were too poor for shoes, so we had to try to wrap snow around our feet for warmth. If your feet bled, it would attract the wolves. Today's kids are just coddled
source: wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Move over whippersnappers and pass gramps the joint ...for his joints
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from OCTOBER 2018 - DISCUSSION
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from OCTOBER 2018 - D'AWWW
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from OCTOBER 2018 - FOOD
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from OCTOBER 2018 - POLITICS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from OCTOBER 2018 - GEEK
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from OCTOBER 2018 - ENTERTAINMENT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from OCTOBER 2018 - BUSINESS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from OCTOBER 2018 - SPORTS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from OCTOBER 2018 - MAIN
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A group of hospital workers pool up their money to jointly buy lottery tickets every month. They finally win a decent amount and you won't believe what happens next
source: edition-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Twenty million Southerners stock up on milk and bread
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 ABC Toledo)
 
 
 
Yo dawg, I heard you like fires, so I set your fire station on fire so your firefighters can fight fires after they fight fires
source: 13abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Item #2867 on the "Millennials Are Destroying Necessary Essential Societal Structures" list: enormous, dusty, half-forgotten photo albums
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
North Dakota named the best state for driving. Mostly because when spinning out of control at 105 MPH while driving drunk, the worst that can happen is running into a tumbleweed
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
We keep building more houses. And by more, we mean the "third biggest housing boom in the modern era". So, nothing to worry about, right? Right?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Squarespace)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pensive man
source: static1.squarespace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Anchorage earthquake made this guy's Dad mode kick into overdrive
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Teen buys rope, ties noose, and films suicidal 16-year-old friend hanging herself. He reportedly told another friend it would be "awesome" and like "getting away with murder." Yeah, about that
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Twitch and Izzy will wobble their way into your heart on Caturday
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
Dear police officers: When will you finally learn that EVERYONE has a camera these days? Difficulty: See tag
source: wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's some "ice pancakes" floating down a river in the Scottish highlands
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sioux City Journal)
 
 
 
Iowa Christian who borrowed LGBT themed children's books from the local library, then burned them on Facebook Live, gets charged. In other news, Iowa not only has libraries, the ones in the middle of nowhere have LGBT+ books in them
source: siouxcityjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Somebody found Diane Keaton's wallet 50 years after she lost it. And did Claire's DISHES
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Aussie man attacked by roo, somehow manages to save his beer
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Turns out having a stranger inject your face with something at a party can sometimes have bad side effects
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 07, 2018
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
101-year-old man credits long life to Coors Light. To be fair, taking in lots of water is important to longevity
source: pacificsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Wisconsin woman who crushed a Trooper car while driving drunk said she felt fine to drive, the empty booze cans weren't hers and the pot belonged to her mother
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Bank robbery story from the '60s has everything: car chase, manhunt and one guy telling his daughter to count to 10 and then start blasting with the rifle as he checked an outbuilding
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBN Youngstown)
 
 
 
Ohio wants kids to write in scribbles by 5th grade
source: wkbn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Samurai sword attack in San Francisco injures three people. Connor MacLeod wanted for questioning
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Moose plays ding dong ditch at 1:30 AM. Squirrel seen scurrying away
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Percolately)
 
 
 
Christ-mas lights Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo, Christ-mas lights Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo, Christ-mas lights Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo, Christ-mas lights
source: percolately.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
It's not everyday you see a lemur pop out of a horse trailer during a traffic stop
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Multiple firms are competing to produce a next-gen mechanical donkey, pending evaluation and selection by the U.S. Army, Marine Corps, and a group of Tijuana businessmen
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
We've all wished we could use the HOV lane at times, but some of us wish it more than others
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy person
source: socialcafemag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Nuns steal $500,000 from Catholic school to support their gambling habit
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
It doesn't look like a gingerbread house, but the sign says children will be eaten. This is an outrage
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
"The Burbs" wasn't supposed to be a manual on how to get along with your neighbors
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Ebola outbreak spreads to major Congo city Butembo. No problem, we now have a vaccine for thAAW CRAP
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
If you've been stealing historic doorknobs from the Rock Island Courthouse, officials would like a word with you. Subby saw Historic Doorknobs once, back in their steampunk days
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Sixty pregnant goats stolen in elaborate heist. Police say the theft may be the greatest of all time. OF ALL TIME
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
NewsFlash
 
White supremacist and terrible driver James Fields convicted of first degree murder
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Not that we didn't know who Individual 1 was already but looks like he directed Cohen to commit crimes, owns the business that hired Cohen, and ran for President in 2016. Could be anyone, no way to know for sure
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Marlboro maker Altria is making a 2.4 billion dollar investment in marijuana, unclear at this time if this is for personal use or if this indicates intent to sell
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Scientists figure out a way to give bees autism
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Officer who died in Thousand Oaks Bar shooting was shot by good guy with gun
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Blessed Event
source: i2-prod.walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"Winning" candidate in fraudulent NC House election knows nothing about consultants who were altering ballots on his behalf, despite the fact that his campaign owes them $34,000. Nothing. Knows nothing
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Man steals women's sneakers minutes after Kohl's job interview to gift to his mom, who is undoubtedly very proud
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Rocket Man getting a little more rocket-y
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Not news: Resort makes towel animals in your room. News: Resort makes towel people in your room. Fark: Resort makes effigy of your dead son in your room
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Green Bay Press Gazette)
 
 
 
Lucky llama's llife llapses, now llies in llandfill
source: greenbaypressgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
How much gore can one jury take? Surprisingly, not a recap of Supreme Court's docket in 2000
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It was a bit nipply out in this Kent village as residents stripped down to their bare essentials for a charity calendar [NOT SAFE FOR WORK]
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Wait...WHAT happens at 3:30?
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
World's most modified youth has had over 40 ops including forked tongue and eye tattoos because he 'likes to turn heads' is also in desperate need of a hug and a positive role model (NSFW)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Six-year-old girl named Alexa is constantly bullied over Amazon device, parents claim. Calling the media to get publicity for this will surely put an end to it
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Phantom pooper strikes South Australian Parliament's toilets, prompting MPs to threaten to pass a motion in the chamber to expose the culprit
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Mum sends son to school with prop for nativity play that turns out to be a blow-up sex doll, swears she was just helping it over the fence, officer (some NSFW content on page)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Helpless, vulnerable, terrified man about to be convicted of traffic violation. Dumbass tag unavailable due to followup-ness
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Florida Man saved from the evil Dr Croc by his trusty sidekick Canada Man
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Without looking, I'll bet that 90% of you have no idea who Time Magazine readers just picked as their "person" of the year. And won't know even after hearing the name
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Teacher assaults three officers after they find him sitting in his car, drunk. Don't judge till you've taught a bunch of screaming snowflakes all day
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Nurse delivers her own baby in car while driving to the hospital. No word if it was a stick shift
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Crazed teacher cuts student's hair while screaming the national anthem. It's always the ones you least expect
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Did you know that candy canes are shaped like a J because they symbolize Jesus? No? Well, you must not have a Nebraska education
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Man who is the walking embodiment of Unable to Get Over It puts wrapped present under his tree every year since 1971 given to him by an ex-gf in high school. Finally gets around to opening it. Good thing it wasn't a puppy
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Up to 96% of all marine species and more than two-thirds of terrestrial species perished 252m years ago after rapid global warning. This is not a pre-repeat from 2100
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from SEPTEMBER 2018 - BUSINESS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from SEPTEMBER 2018 - POLITICS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from SEPTEMBER 2018 - D'AWWW
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from SEPTEMBER 2018 - FOOD
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from SEPTEMBER 2018 - GEEK
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from SEPTEMBER 2018 - DISCUSSION
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from SEPTEMBER 2018 - ENTERTAINMENT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from SEPTEMBER 2018 - SPORTS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from SEPTEMBER 2018 - MAIN
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The rap community frowns on Fortnight's dance-emote-stealing shenanigans
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Avengers: Endgame trailer has dropped
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Step 1: Start a Youtube channel. Step 2: Post a video of yourself street racing. Step 3: ???? Step 4: Start a GoFundMe for legal fees after the cops bust you with the videos you made public
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
For the first time, there will be a Pearl Harbor memorial service without any survivors of the USS Arizona present
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Large private for-profit college chain loses accreditation, loses money, shuts down leaving students with no school or credits that will transfer. Also leaving students with unpaid student loans. Pay your bills, kids
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Man denied visa to attend his 13-year-old daughter's funeral because this is Trump's America
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
Video
 
Some people clean your windshield for money while you wait at a traffic light, some people hold cardboard signs. Then there's this acrobatic trio
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Couple convicted of killing their kid with quack "medicine." Supreme court rules the judge erred and orders new trial. Now they want the government to put up 4 million bucks, up front, for their defence. Canada's Florida man?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYPD officers forced a woman to give birth while in handcuffs. Reached for comment, a spokesman said, "What did she expect? She never used the safe word"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Protip: Before buying a high tech $4300 refrigerator, make sure someone local can repair it
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Tokyo Disneyland unveils cartoon animatronics as a way to bridge the uncanny valley
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Finally an accurate headline about Millennials: "Millennials Didn't Kill the Economy. The Economy Killed Millennials"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Hello, I'm subby, and these are my children. My daughter Kale, my son Broccoli, my other son Parsnip, and my daughter Shallot
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Have a broken blind? Just buy a stick of gum at CVS and the problem will fix itself
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Two high school seniors taken to the hospital after eating THC-laced cookies. What? Oh, excuse me, that should be two high *elementary* school seniors taken to the hospital after eating THC-laced cookies
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 06, 2018
(Evening Express)
 
 
 
Blinded by the light / revved up like a Scot crushing bikes alright
source: eveningexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
It's 10 PM. Do you know where your welfare recipients are?
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The reason you're watching taped programming is because of the bomb threat and evacuation at CNN headquarters in NYC [Update: all clear has been given]
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Things you expect to see inside a model home during an open house: staged minimalist furniture, a centerpiece on the kitchen table, an agent's murdered corpse, neutral art, fluffy tow - wait, go back one. Neutral art?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Headline: Tennessee to execute man on death row for 36 years. Subby thinks they need to up the amperage if it takes that long. Tag is for pretty much everything in this F'ed up situation
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
KFC identifies the most pressing question of our time
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSNT Topeka)
 
 
 
Snake-bitten man arrested for hallucinogenic mushrooms, dead snake
source: ksnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Advance Publications)
 
 
 
Photoshop this highway teamwork
source: expo.advance.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
"So what do you do?" "I'm in tech." "Um, why the steroids and rocket launcher?" "...network security"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Alaskan cannabis store offers discount for people who lost their bongs in the quake
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Lance Armstrong says that sure, getting caught cheating was devastating for his career, and cost him lucrative endorsements, and millions in judgments he had to pay to his sponsors, but, he dropped $100k into Uber in 2009... so, he's all good, thanks
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cheezburger)
 
 
 
"It's not you, it's me. I apologize for standing you up, but let me make it up to you. If I don't make it on my own by lunchtime tomorrow, I will call for a ride to assist me with my commitment issues. PS: You're beautiful"
source: cheezburger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Handgun reported missing in 1990 found on top of the locker of the former police officer who wrote the complaint
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Ahhh)
 
 
 
Photoshop this relaxing spa
source: assets.sunscaperesorts.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Snaketivity" display from Chicago Satanist Church finds home in Illinois statehouse holiday display, therefore Mike Pence is right and Chicago must be purified with megachurches
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
These brave students are tackling the gravest existential threat facing life on campus today: porn
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Nobody knows how to drive airplanes in the rain in LA
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Nine thousand pairs of counterfeit Nike shoes seized in New York. Officials became suspicious over the contaminated air in the heels
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Underground 'guides' use Mushrooms and LSD in psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, a whole new wormcloth made of wheels in a spiral, buzz past busy bees and yes, devastated purple monkey dishwashers too... And the crazy part? it seems to be working
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
Florida high school vending machine loaded with more than just candy and chips
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Family shocked after mother's suspicious last will leaves everything to pastor
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Freedom of Navigation II: Russian Boogaloo
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The big hits and misses of Arthur C. Clarke's predictions - great on data mining and spam, not so hot on monkey servants and telecommuting
source: rossdawson.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Man arrested after unwanted dick pick
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VT Digger)
 
 
 
Vermont high school janitor fired and charged with a misdemeanor for writing threats on a bathroom mirror. Should have stuck with "REDRUM" instead of the wordier "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL"
source: vtdigger.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
How to tell you have a drinking problem. C) When you wake up with a hangover and try to figure out how the televisions, guns, money and other items you burglarized ended up in your house
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from AUGUST 2018 - D'AWWW
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from AUGUST 2018 - FOOD
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from AUGUST 2018 - GEEK
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from AUGUST 2018 - POLITICS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from AUGUST 2018 - ENTERTAINMENT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from AUGUST 2018 - BUSINESS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from AUGUST 2018 - SPORTS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from AUGUST 2018 - DISCUSSION
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from AUGUST 2018 - MAIN
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Today's item spilled all over the highway in a 10-vehicle pileup involving tractor trailers: Bud Light
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
20,000 people want to party with a 15-year-old Dutch girl who needs better friends
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
'Ancient alien base' uncovered underneath the melting ice of Antarctica by tinfoil hat guy using Google Earth. You know it's real because you can see the pixels if you zoom in closer (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in China, seven people ride down the highway on a motorized log carrying a fridge (w video)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Texas County Commissioner's daughter: Daddy, I want a cheap house. County Commissioner: OK daughter, let me just falsify some court records and kick some random schmuck out of his house with armed cops and put up a sign that it's ours now
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Slate author explains why he won't teach his own kids to code, and neither should you. Because the world needs more Slate authors?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Florida Man (and Florida Woman) are back with a vengeance, Disney sets another record, and some TV co-hosts got hitched. Hope you're ready to shop, it's the Fark Weird News Quiz, Nov 25 - Dec 1 Bad Gift Ideas Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Cheap and frumpy mum can't understand why her "sexy Santa" suit that she ordered on eBay makes her look "cheap and frumpy" (possible NSFW content on page)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these looking ladies
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dumping your wife for a hotter woman can be a stressful time. Especially if your wife's father has nuclear weapons, is ex head of the KGB and current President of Russia
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Saskatoon police on Facebook "Hey can anyone help us find this criminal?" Criminal, "Catch me if you can pigs" Saskatoon police 1 month later, "LOL"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Seven Marines missing following aerial mishap that sounds more like a hithap
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Neil DeGrabass Tyson
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Albert Einstein letter questioning religion sells for $2.9 million. The owner of the letter just had all their prayers answered
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The buildings are crumbling but on Thursday you'll be able to play Pokemon Go in Havana
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Dashcam video of a chase which ended up in a Minneapolis playground. Oh, he didn't signal that last turn. There's your problem
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(City Journal)
 
 
 
There's regular failure, then there's California High Speed Rail Project failure
source: city-journal.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Not sure if the guy who did this, the town government of Westford or the state of Vermont is number one. Why not all three?
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
R.I.P. medical debt
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 709: "You Can't Fight City Hall 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 05, 2018
(Entertainment Tonight)
 
 
 
Jennifer Aniston busted into tears after singing with Dolly Parton. No word on whether a threesome broke out afterwards
source: etonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
See those people two blocks away, walking away from me? Here, I'll stop the car so you can see them. No, not those people, the ones walking away who don't even see me? Yeah, they scare me to death. They're walking away, but their butts look scary
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Actual Headline: Awkwardly named serial masturbator lands in hospital after alleged toilet brush incident at doctor's office
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Cops: The naked woman was sitting on the male victim's face when she made a lewd demand
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Calling somebody a putz is not a hate crime. Status of dork still unclear
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If your partner's sex drive is lower than yours, get a new partner. Or a sock
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Clairvoyant night is cancelled due to 'unforeseen circumstances'
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Who pissed in your Corn Flakes this morning? Might have been this guy
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Judge throws out red light camera ticket after learning nobody in city government knows the legal definition of running a red light
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Looking for free holiday ideas in San Diego area? Bring the kids to the sex offender's house to ride his train
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
A scene straight out of Final Destination
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Went up to draw a Penis in the sky (Penis in the sky) / They said boy, you no longer fly (No longer fly) / Now I fly and I know that I'm the best / Marine guy pilot still flying with the rest
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Alien archaeologists studying the remnants of human civilization after we've all died off (difficulty: no Trump)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Help us choose Fark's Headline of the Year
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
I'm not saying it's aliens, but it is cuneiform on Mars
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Took a car; sideswiped a truck, Crossed my fingers just for luck. My fenders was clickin' the guardrail posts. The baby beside me was white as a ghost
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greeley Tribune)
 
 
 
Grocery store decides it's time to relocate Tide Pods from candy aisle
source: greeleytribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Virgin Mary appears in trailer park. The "Florida" tag is almost unnecessary
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
So-called 'time traveler' predicts we'll see "giant" spike in UFO sightings in January 2019. In February, there will be giant snowstorm. In June, new discoveries will allow disabled people to walk again
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
One weird trick to get passengers to put their phones in airplane mode: bill them full roaming charges
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Do you have secret dreams of being an adult film star? If you stayed at a Hilton property recently, you might already be one
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Luxembourg to become the first country to make all public transportation free. It sounds cool until you remember you can walk across the whole country in a half an hour
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NEXT Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Happy Krampusnacht everyone. Now get out there and wave your brooms, ring your cowbells, and whip your naughty children with sticks to celebrate
source: nextpittsburgh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Subby has a needle biopsy today, wishes this news about cancer research had come out a little sooner
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
USA Gymnastics fails to stick the dismount, earns a dreaded 0.0
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Mutant 'double-muscle' pigs could save our bacon - now's the time to buy some sperm on Facebook and cash in on the lucrative 'Frankenswine' market
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: "There's little hard evidence for cannabis lube, but marijuana does have an effect"
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
World's first sex robot for women launched complete with customisable penis, fake stubble and Brad Pitt's chiselled torso. Bonus: it also recites poetry
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this muddy Deere
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
ಠ_ಠ
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man has bluetooth compass implanted into chest, claims he's invented "new human sense". Why he didn't have the sense to just use a normal compass is unknown
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Today I learned Amazon ships bear repellent. Today I also learned what happens when it falls off a shelf and discharges: 24 people end up in the hospital. UPDATE: An automated machine punctured the cannister of bear repellent
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Dawn of the commercial robotaxi service takes us one step closer to making Total Recall look like a documentary
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Small penis? Blame fast food packaging and coated frying pans. Which are cold when shoved down you pants. I don't know, I'm not a sciencer
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Maybe it's time for California to come up with a new cuisine, being they have been invaded by giant alien swamp rats
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
When your roommate forces you to choose between being shot and killed in the desert or having your dick nailed to a board, you better pick wisely
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JULY 2018 - SPORTS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JULY 2018 - GEEK
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JULY 2018 - ENTERTAINMENT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JULY 2018 - POLITICS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JULY 2018 - BUSINESS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JULY 2018 - MAIN
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JULY 2018 - DISCUSSION
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Base)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pedestal
source: 3dmolier-studio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
What a great save. Yes it was. Yes it was. Who made a great save? You did. You made a great save just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Your dog can't handle that much D
source: vitals.lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Scientists: Wow, gorillas are showing a human trait by developing a cheating strategy for this test. Reality: Animal takes food as quickly as possible
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
'Legionnaires' Cooling Tower' is officially the least popular ride at Disneyland
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Unmarried pregnant teacher fired from Catholic school. No word if she had to walk past the nativity scene on her way out
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
In Today's Weird or Cool from Japan: If you think it is just a pillow specifically designed for your butt, you would be wrong
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Children in the town of Severance, Colorado can now legally throw snowballs at each other, thanks to the efforts of a nine year old citizen
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
"This place is just too loved to die," Concordia Cemetery President said. So, it's a romantic zombie getaway then?
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Michigan man wins scarecrow contest
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
California man's face transplant wound up costing an arm and a leg
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Despite all the bad environmental news this year, there were still a few victories. Let's review
source: earther.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The historical re-enactment of Sherman's taking of Delmae Heights Elementary School is ruined when the cops show up
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
WHO seeks guidance on gene-edited babies, possibly out of fears of creating deaf, dumb, and blind kids who sure play a mean pinball
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
7.5 earthquake strikes off coast of New Caledonia, tsunami alert issued
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Catholic News Service: What? Should we not have Tweeted out our Happy Hanukkah message with a photo from the Arch of Titus showing Roman soldiers carrying off a menorah from the sacked Temple of Jerusalem? Was that wrong of us? Our bad
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vulture)
 
 
 
Today's MadLibs headline: The Blinky Neon Vagina Artist Returns to Art Basel Miami Beach, With Lumpy Monumental #MeToo Totems
source: vulture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you're transporting 100 pounds of weed in your trunk, try not to make unsafe lane changes in front of a state trooper
source: kgab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Sorry, officer, I was speeding because I did not want my McDonald's to get cold. We're good, right?"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 04, 2018
(9 News)
 
 
 
Feds to Denver opioid addicts: Drop dead
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
St. Louis ranked the least safe city in the country. Voter fraud and recount demanded by Detroit, Chicago and Baltimore
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BestLife)
 
 
 
Seventeen Christmas fails, including zombie army of bears and festive poop tree
source: bestlifeonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Peak oil. New hotness: Peak social
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
When Triumph the Insult Comic Dog needs to poop on something, he grabs a delicious bowl of Triumph Dog Food
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(AZ Family)
 
 
 
If you don't want your kid to grow up to be a chauffeur, don't name him Jeeves. Oh, and don't name him Jesse James either
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(The Register)
 
 
 
Not everything in Australia is lethal - Here's naked women and men for rent to work around the house
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Anyone wanna guess who's decided they have a problem with the official motto of Veterans' Affairs, "to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow, and his orphan"
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Double Rainbow. New Hotness: Triple Rainbow. Those chemtrails sure are working great
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Brazilian man discovers the hard way that there is no way just to play with alligators
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Video of truck explo...wait, where'd that pedestrian go? (possibly graphic footage)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Top EU official: "You can stop hitting yourself in the face any time you want." Britain: "No." *whack*
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Remember the lady whose family claimed American Airlines left her in a wheelchair overnight? Apparently they forgot about camera footage
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Japanese cops called in to break up drunken brawl by other Japanese cops who were drunk. Good thing this happened in Japan or the cops would have shot the wait staff for calling it in
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Illinois State Journal-Register)
 
 
 
The Satanic Temple wins the right to display its monument in the Illinois State House next to a nativity scene and menorah
source: sj-r.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
CrossFit studio owners on way to film ad for their new CrossFit in Africa with their CrossFit trainers drive past machete-wielding bandits (who don't CrossFit) on foot. "In CrossFit, we say we're training people to be ready for anything." CrossFit
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Police unable to identify Florida Man who died in scooter crash. To be fair, if you die on a scooter, you probably don't want anyone to know who you are anyway
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this soccer player
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Liverpool Echo)
 
 
 
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off
source: liverpoolecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
You're a mean one, Mr. Florida Man
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
How bad are things for Victoria's Secret? Even hot college babes on their way to their next pillow- and tickle-fight party aren't buying their lingerie anymore
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vindy News)
 
 
 
"My friends and I were joking [during the lockdown] that we hope we don't get a ticket," she said. "We never thought they'd give a ticket. But I went to my car and there was a ticket"
source: vindy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Only 4 of Germany's 128 Eurofighters are airworthy, but that won't stop them from developing a 5th gen stealth fighter with France and Spain
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man concludes 10-year experiment, ravaging his body and mind, in effort to improve the average Farker's quality of life. Still not receiving the TotalFark gift package
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(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Arrest of serial sex toy swiper gives cops great pleasure
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fast Company)
 
 
 
27% of American youth too overweight for military service. Private Pyle's head assplodes
source: fastcompany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
"Hey, if you're not gay, my friend thinks you're cute. Here's her number. If you ARE gay, here's mine"
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Stone Age people may have taken drugs and cut off their fingers for religion
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
School locks washroom doors because students vaping is "a health and safety concern." Crapping or puking on the floor apparently still okay
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
These are the jobs of the future, according to experts in 1988. Subby is updating his CV to apply for ocean hotel manager
source: paleofuture.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pot)
 
 
 
Photoshop this classic duo
source: images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Montana Kaimin)
 
 
 
If you were looking forward to seeing Steve Bannon at the sex robot convention later this month I have some bad news for you, mostly about the kind of person you are
source: montanakaimin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Mother teaches son not to bring a samurai sword to a family gunfight
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGNS)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're working at a day care, be sure to read a bottle's label before you pour drinks for the kids
source: kgns.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If your Tinder match asks you to wear a black dress for your first date, it might not be the romantic day out you expected
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
If you're waiting for Carmax to deliver your new Lexus, please be aware that its emergency driver evacuation system has been tested and is working perfectly
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grub Street)
 
 
 
He sees you when you're drinking, he's puking on the train, he knows he is not welcome here but it's SantaCon today
source: grubstreet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Facebook won't let you post about breastfeeding, but killing minorities and immigrants is perfectly fine
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bradenton Herald)
 
 
 
If you're a pure-blooded Pakistani, Indian, or Iranian with type A or O blood, you might want to read this article
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Looks like the cows have been in the romaine again
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delish.com)
 
Boobies
 
Cariboob or Reindeer Boob? whynotboth.jpg. NSFW but worth it
source: delish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Flat-Earther issues $100,000 challenge to anyone who can prove the Earth is round. If you're reading this on Fark, you can probably guess what happens next
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(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Today's "police officer shoots a Good Guy With A Gun, who just happens to be a black off-duty Army agent and decorated combat veteran" story brought to you by New Orleans
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Girl brings home typically Aussie cute octopus in a shell from the beach only to find out it's a very dangerous deadly blue-ringed octopus that can kill you
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(The Sun)
 
 
 
I'm not saying a NASA Scientist said aliens may have visited Earth...but a NASA Scientist has said aliens may have visited Earth because some UFO sightings 'cannot be explained or denied' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Veganism may be the new religion in Britain, could get the same legal protections as the other cults
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JUNE 2018 - SPORTS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JUNE 2018 - POLITICS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JUNE 2018 - GEEK
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JUNE 2018 - ENTERTAINMENT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JUNE 2018 - BUSINESS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JUNE 2018 - MAIN
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Headline of the Year voting - first round. Vote here for your favorite headlines from JUNE 2018 - DISCUSSION
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Singing Baby Shark toys are now for sale on Amazon. Every parent everywhere just burned their computer upon reading this
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
DOT sign makes it official: Jersey highway sucks (NSFW)
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I'm Sorry Dave)
 
 
 
Just a day or two and things are already testy between ISS astronauts and their new AI robot pal. CIMON has already started suggesting they need to go outside to fix the space antenna
source: scroll.in   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Millennials: Just Say No to gift exchanges. Remember, this is your brain, and this is your brain on office White Elephants
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Bus company Careem launches service in Egypt. Now, with Careem, Abdul goes far
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ark of the Covenant may be hidden in Africa, according to *Top. Men.*
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The invisible victims of the migrant caravan standoff are members of Tijuana's donkey show industry
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this label
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Elderly man uses "stand-your-ground" reasons for: 1) yelling at teen in vehicle to slow down; 2) following teen to high school parking lot; 3) threatening teen with gun when kid copies man's license plate; 4) complaining about teen in school office
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
We're about to replace yet another Virginia high school named after a defeated, treasonous, white racist general with one named after a black woman who championed integration. Let's see if anyone notices
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(LA Times)
 
 
 
Should Spain return a painting to the great grandson of the Jewish woman Nazis stole it from? On one hand, Nazis. On the other hand, Al Gore's election lawyer is arguing the case for the good guys
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Electric scooter rental businesses disrupting urban transit, bones, spleens
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
One truck enters, two trucks leave
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some swinger)
 
 
 
Swingers taking over vacant department stores
source: bisnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
France fuel tax surrenders
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Not everyone gets tasered for trying to punch a cop while walking completely naked in the parking lot of a hotel. But if your name is Dick Chase, you'll go down as a legend
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In West Philadelphia he was born and raised when a couple of ICE agents were up to no good, started making trouble in his neighborhood. He had one little probation violation and now he's suing as they tried to deport him to a country called Jamaica
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
300-pound woman pleads guilty of killing her boyfriend. By sitting on him
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CP24 Toronto)
 
 
 
York Regional Police: "Charged with Impaired Driving? It's a matter of public record, so now we're making the records public until you idiots get the hint." Cool tag offers to DD for the absent About Damned Time tag
source: cp24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
Weeners
 
Christmas is the season of giving, as evidenced by this light display
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Dooooooooooomed
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 03, 2018
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
In addition to the syrup, police said the couple engaged in foreplay with blueberry jelly
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
NRA firearms instructor will help you get a concealed weapon (CCW) training certificate. Not a legal one, mind you, but just as good
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Having been kidnapped, returned, fallen over, then almost hit by a car, Abraham Lincoln will remain sheltered in the Wilkinsburg Borough building until officials can figure out what to do with him
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