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| Sun November 25, 2018 |
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Fun: Party. Cool: Surprise party. Fark: Surprise party for a guy carrying a pistol
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Brazilian officials announced on Friday that deforestation in the Amazon rainforest has reached its worst level in a decade. You'd think they wouldn't need that many officials to make that announcement
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White House turns away foreign exchange students from touring with their Jersey classmates, left them standing out in the cold. Did they run out of tear gas or what?
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Photoshop these footprints
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Snobby Millennial stoners think they're better than the rest of us average Joe stoners, start to ditch 'mass market' weed for 'connoisseur' cannabis (possible nsfw content on page)
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Not content to let Russia be alone in earning the world's disdain, the U.S. fires tear gas on asylum seekers at the U.S./Mexico border
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It's been 47 years to the day since D.B. Cooper pulled off the greatest heist in airline history, and a group of fans and conspiracy theorists are holding a conference to discuss what may have happened, even though Newsradio proved it was Adam West
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Photoshop this honkin' big musical instrument
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Santa parade features 'Redneck Xmas' float sporting Confederate flag ...because apparently people in New Zealand can't get enough of good old American racism
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Camp fire now 100% contained, thanks to the valiant effort of our brave rakers
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After 18 years on the job, HR realizes a school cleaning lady had faked her 6th grade diploma. Best course of action? Lock her up for ten years for fraud
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South Dakota may become the most polite state in the Union
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For no particular reason or anything, here are six tricks and tips on how to avoid getting a hangover. Not drinking not on the list, because, duh...have you noticed what website you're on?
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Photoshop this properly parallel parked picture
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CSB Sunday Morning: You weren't supposed to find that
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The Garden State is on the path to being a lot more welcoming to tourists and a happier place for residents
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Behold some of the greatest inventions that humankind has brought to the world (some images NSFW)
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| (STT Source) |
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Hey it's only 300 plants, and just a supervisor at a national park on a Caribbean island
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And it is written, Heimdal shall blow Gjallerhorn and Fenrir shall swallow the Sun. Then brother shall kill brother, and no man shall have mercy on another
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Pastor somehow manages to make 50K smuggling Mexican dirt weed into Washington, which has legal weed. Not smart enough to not get caught though
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Thieves have stolen over five miles of street light wiring, plunging entire areas of Billings, MT into darkness. Copper hopes to CU if you have information
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Just when you thought moats had long outlived their purpose, they still manage to surprise you by protecting our castles from a more recent enemy - old people in cars
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Ocala Walmart shopper pushing up daisies in garden center after domestic argument gets shooty
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| Sat November 24, 2018 |
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Amazon now ships police to your house if you decide to go on strike
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Satire is dead
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Tired of carrying your umbrella or having dignity? This might just be the product for you
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Photoshop this sweep netter
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Before he died, Hugh Heftner deposited a trove of his private sex tapes and other salacious material into the ocean
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"The Rehab clinic that treats screen addiction." Like someone can be addicted to a screen. Hey This is my 131st green
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| (Some Cash Strapped Guy) |
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Photoshop who or what might use this ATM
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Hey Admiral, ain't that your midshipman attacking the president?
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"I had no idea it was there, honest"
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1 in 3 Americans get festive burnout before Christmas arrives; the other two drink. A lot
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Well how was I supposed to know he was a suspected terrorist under FBI investigation? I mean, it's not like I'm a federal agent myself and... oh, wait
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Two tone lobster caught off N.B. coast. Immediately attempts to kill fellow lobster with colour on opposite side
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N.B. town selling property for $1. "They're coming from all over Canada, really. Ontario, Quebec, Newfoundland. We've got three families that have moved in here from Texas." Oh crap, we need a border wall
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Health insurance denial letters stop telling customers to "go fark yourself", start telling them to "GoFundMe" instead. So...improvement?
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What to do when you walk into a store that's too expensive for you?
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False equivalence wheel turn turn turn... STOPS: N-word/Anti-vax
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The media, having failed to make people sufficiently afraid of mold, realizes that they need to tie it to the death of a pretty white girl
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So, Sweden, how's that planned move to an entirely cashless society working out for you?
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Florida Man is back and into cosplay, plus new smart phones and Nazi escapees, so wipe off the blood, glory in your purchases, and take the Fark Weird News Quiz November 11-17 Black Friday Edition
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Not-so-fat man with heart condition goes on a Thanksgiving hike, gets stuck between two boulders at "Fat Man's Pass"
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Reason No. 418,836 why you don't have a Facebook account to post sexy pictures of yourself with ambitions of becoming a great poRn star
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Photoshop this gargoyle
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It sucks that the mosquito season is lasting into November this year
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For cats and dogs in most animals shelters, Thanksgiving is just another day spent waiting for a home they can be thankful for. At some shelters, though, the holiday is marked with a special meal, just in time for *burp* Caturday
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That Black Friday Eve mall shooting where a good cop with a gun killed the shooter? Turns out he probably wasn't the shooter
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O_o
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Walmart decides that the best way to handle Black Friday crowds is to create a "maze" inside stores. Let's see how that's working out for them
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Bears can open any car door assuming there are forty-nine chocolate bars on the inside
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Kevin Jeys -- "Chico's answer to Hunter S. Thompson" -- had no way to evacuate his pets, so he rode out the fire storm in Paradise with them
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This is a rat burger? Not bad. As a matter of fact it's the best burger I've had in years
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Walmart in Vancouver, Washington gets locked down on Black Friday in the methiest way possible
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I'm simply havin' to tell you the 10 worst Christmas songs
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Want to see a house explosion captured on a security cam? Of course you do
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The UK is worrying that their poorest citizens might only live as long as Americans
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| Fri November 23, 2018 |
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Mohammed bin Salman bought da Vinci's masterpiece "Salvator Mundi" for the Louvre Abu Dhabi--but it hasn't been seen in public since he acquired it
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School district refuses to discipline students who posed for a photo doing the nazi salute because Baraboo, Wisconsin's school district is fine with white supremacy and racism
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| (Some Guy) |
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French lessons never really panned out. Is there an Esperanto café nearby?
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🎵Huron, so far/rarely gives up a car/'cept this Chevrolet from '27🎵
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Finally, a museum that celebrates the filth and squalor of the NYC subway system. Admission costs only one swipe and a suggested loogie donation
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Latest thing to be banned for hurting feelings *spins wheel* CAPITAL LETTERS [Debunked in new link]
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Put down your fark, we have to get to the farty highway
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Photoshop this happy doggo
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That's a ruff way to go
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While one crazy Christian makes headlines for his naive exuberance, others quietly help those in need
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First day of legal marijuana sales in Massachusetts brings in almost half a million, with the state and cities pocketing enough to pay two teachers' salaries for the year
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Sword-wielding jeweler fends off armed robbers. Again. With a sword. Again
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Photoshop this path
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Bad idea: Trying to cheer up your daughter by hiring an actor to play her absent dad. Terrible idea: Keeping up the deception for ten years
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In a completely not viral marketing attempt to launch a UK version of Storage Wars, man finds £5.8 million in a storage unit he got in an auction bid
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"How many time have I told you not to play with the dirty money? We'll just have to get hims all tidied up"
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| (99% off sale) |
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Cards Against Humanity's Black Friday thing is up and Jeff Bezos is having a real bad day right now
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Body found in the search for a missing UK journalist has the BBC making its deadline
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The unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible
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A white woman in Phoenix was filmed launching a racist attack on an Hispanic woman and the community responds by rallying around the minority woman
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Study shows 107% of Britons believe in conspiracy theories
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Possible solution to global warming: ChemTrails
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Depending on your personality, you'll either be horrified or impressed by this story's headline
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Before you go brag on Facebook about the monster, once-in-a-lifetime, 13-point buck you just shot, you might want to make sure your paperwork is in order. Because the Michigan Department of Natural Resources has Facebook too
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Here's the 2018 "No Thanks" list so you know exactly what and who not to be thankful for this year
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What if the GDPR is the real war on Christmas?
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| (Some Artist) |
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Photoshop these clay shmoos
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'Very hairy schoolboy' exposed as 30-year-old man with two kids after spending six weeks studying at English high school
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Is this how monks reach Nirvana?
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Christian group wants indigenous tribe brought to justice for killing a Christian missionary who ignored everyone's warnings, the law, and common sense itself to trespass on their private island. Looks like Shania law is in effect
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Japan has 8 million free houses available, drawback: someone may have died in them
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Why do Brits love Thanksgiving? With helpful pic of a Brit loving Thanksgiving
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Reset the Black Friday clock
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Two teens steal an airplane and manage to fly and land it successfully. WTFark?: They got to the private airstrip by stealing a tractor
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Multiple explosions and gunshots reported near the Chinese consulate in Karachi, Pakistan
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| (Halifax Examiner) |
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Not the Onion
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Finally, a win for religion
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| Thu November 22, 2018 |
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Photoshop this deep diver
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Michigan finally takes a stand against fake police officers
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Shark attacks, red-back spider bights, snakes up the dunny and the occasional drop-bear take a break as Martian-like dust storms engulf Sydney
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Man wins $2 million playing online blackjack. House says 'Oops, software glitch. No payout'. Tag for whether they refunded all the money spent by all the other players because the software was faulty
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Wildfire smoke is becoming a nationwide health threat
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Before you flag down the cops to ask for directions, better hide your stolen Rogaine and make sure you don't smell like weed
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Photoshop this tripping hazard
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In news out of Niceville, Florida (yes it's a place), a man wants to know his rights as a dumpster diver, a pig was spotted outside the Burger King and there's a man in the ER drinking hand sanitizer
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Pocketbook a little pinched this holiday season? Want to make some quick cash? How about a seasonal gig that pays up to $35 an hour: yes, you could become a professional line sitter
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Even the oldest Pearl Harbor survivor can't survive an attack by Father Time
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This morning I fought with other adults over a plush toy from a commercial
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Twas the night before lawsuits and all through the courthouse, lawyers reviewed emails Captain Miller had sent out. There was cussing and fussing and a citizen named. His bid to be Chief will surely be maimed
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Insight: It's happening Cyber-Monday. The terror only lasts for seven minutes. But it takes a lifetime to master
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The first Thanksgiving was held in Florida 50 years before the arrival of the Mayflower. Meal consisted of Natty Light, Slim Jims and Marlboro Reds. Suck it Pilgrims
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Feeling stressed? Not like yourself sometimes? Are you quick to anger? Maybe you need the craze that's sweeping the nation: Exorcism
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Thirteen-year-old girl who wrote award winning essay about gun violence struck and killed by a stray bullet. Happy Thanksgiving everyone
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| (Some Guy) |
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Come for Santa Claus with a submachine gun, stay for Robin loading a pack howitzer. Bonus: proof that Ronald McDonald has a darker alter ego
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Meet the men offering their sperm to strangers on Craigslist, but they can only do it through 'natural insemination.' Wait, isn't that like 95% of Craigslist ads?
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Jury acquits border patrolman who sprayed bullets across the border and murdered a Mexican teen
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Drunk, half-naked man jumps on McDonald's counter, starts performing helicopter with his penis. Customers reportedly couldn't stop grimacing
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Gee... if only there were some government agency that could oversee the food industry and help keep us safe
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| (Some Turkey) |
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Thanksgiving Photoshop Challenge: Update this classic Norman Rockwell painting
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Where else you gonna get beer money in the woods?
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Word problem: Your Amtrak train leaves a station 140 miles from New York City, headed south on the day before Thanksgiving. What percentage of the train will reach its destination?
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Some people are unable to wait for Black Friday, start shooting people at a mall in suburban Maryland
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If a Polish nun can be said to have had giant clanking balls, Sister Cecylia Roszak would have fit the bill - hiding Jewish underground fighters at a convent during WWII and living to 110
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Say what you want, but at least this Florida Man has his priorities straight
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Woman trying to make a car payment, nudges car in front of her not moving. Other woman gets out of her car to look at damage. Being FARK, you can guess what happens next. With video of suspect in her car
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Police seek man who lacks internet access
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Because a $120 million fine for 100 million robocalls didn't work, let's try a $1 trillion fine per 100 million robocalls
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Good news Drew: You can have a new liver delivered to wherever you are having a Fark party
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 707: "Software Hootenanny 8". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed November 21, 2018 |
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Of the 11 most developed nations in the World, guess which one has the worst healthcare system. Go ahead, guess
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Kentucky's recent (almost)mass-shooter: "Let's see; AR-15 with a 40 round magazine, a .308 rifle... what else, what else? Oh - can't forget my trusty blowgun with only 2 darts"
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Mother of the year candidate. "She advised she believed I was a monster trying to suck her blood," the deputy wrote in the report. Said her name is 'Biatch' when asked. Mug shot and her actions back that up
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Woman, 65, arrested for wanton wonton attack on mate
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Mysterious 'BING' sound haunting Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Tough residents still say fuggetaboutit until they start hearing BADA BING
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| (Some Big Brother) |
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Proposed New York law would require you to turn over your Facebook password and last three years of search history if you want to own a gun
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| (Some Creativity) |
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Photoshop this stare-down
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Cancun officials issue Protocolo Alba alert, which is Spanish for Missing White Woman
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The number of physical and verbal assaults against TSA agents is on the rise. It's almost as if passengers are sick of being hassled by ineffective theater security
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Bacteria that absorbs CO2 then turns itself into fish food has been discovered at the bottom of the Pacific
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Uncle taken in by nephew told police "The only reason he's still alive is that I ran out of bullets." For not buying iced tea
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Turkey (the bird) is from North America. Turkey (the country) is in Europe/Asia. So how did the bird get named for the country it isn't from?
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After you toss the romaine, disinfect the vegetable drawer, counter, knives and your hands. Burn the house. Plow it under. Salt the remains. Cover in a concrete dome, and then make your way to a more enlightened area of this country
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Photoshop this Pooh
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Alec Baldwin reemerges after arrest, sees shadow, which means now there will be 6 more weeks of possible fights over parking spots
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"Amazon required her and her co-workers to pack at a faster rate, at least 230 items an hour, up from 160." Subby plans to eat breakfast and take a shower by noon, after submitting this
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Washington D.C. mayor Muriel Bowser recently had the unmitigated gall to diss mumbo sauce, prompting hordes of angry, OUTRAGED citizens to ask what the hell is mumbo sauce?
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Not unlike apple bobbing, man attempts to eat THC-filled Cigarillos from top of squad car while handcuffed. Bonus for being named "Burns" and getting tased several times
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Not News: 18-year old gets his drivers license. Fark: and loses it 49 minutes later when he's caught going double the posted speed limit
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It only took 14 years, but company finally told to plug an oil leak in the gulf or face $40k a day in fines
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"Murder. What are you in for?" "Post-planting application of herbicide to cotton"
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"The woman killed her boyfriend three months ago, they say, but the crime was only recently discovered when a human tooth was found inside her blender." (with typically helpful Brit press sfw pic)
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"The Pinedale Shopping Mall has just been bombed with live turkeys"
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After being closed due to leasing issues, longtime San Francisco staple Lefty O'Doul's has reopened at Fisherman's Wharf
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AAA expects this Thanksgiving to be the busiest travel holiday ever. This is a repeat from every time AAA wants to be relevant
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"Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire" is what the cops will be able to say when the man with burns on his ass denies trying to steal gas from a U-Haul
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Proof that God enjoys irony: You're an oil company who finally has permission to drill for oil on Federal lands in the Arctic, but your plans to do so are delayed because global warming is melting the ice you need for your facility
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"Hello American tourist. Welcome to India. Where may I take you?" "How about that island over there? The one only reachable by boat that's inhabited by a tribe of arrow-wielding natives who hate outsiders?" "Sorry, no." "Fark it, I'm going"
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Caption this Apple Map backpack-wearing mapper pedestrian
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Man who's been hit by cars three times in 10 months wants drivers to pay more attention. Seems they are noticing him a lot already
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| (Boing) |
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Photoshop this springtime scene
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An author wanted to set the record straight about what life is like for four-legged canine New Yorkers. So, he interviewed some. These are their stories [bark bark] just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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Some schoolchildren explain what it's like to prepare for a school shooting
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Hope you know what Michigan Man was up to this week, and a bit of trivia about our newly elected officials, it's the Fark Weird News Quiz, Nov. 4-10 Dammit, It's Not Christmas Yet Edition
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Female genital mutilation is now legal again
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Hopefully they have batteries and booze
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He was giving out presents to kids before it was cool
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The landslide in Spain falls mainly on the train
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Businessman banned from entering U.S. after he travels from Canada where his business is legal to Nevada where his business is legal, because he was going there on business
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Woman receives third set of lungs, can now brag she's a 9 pack-a-day smoker
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Here comes the science behind the massive Northern California brush fire
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Marching their society closer to Utopia, China plans to implement social point system by 2021
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| Tue November 20, 2018 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Man overloads washing machine with clothes and bleach, ruining $3,000 of woman's clothes. I have doubts about this story since when was the last time you saw a guy willing go near a washing machine
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Apparently someone was very fond of the dead Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein and left a memorial bench to honor him in London
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It all makes sense now - Gritty is an illuminati goat god
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Drunk man breaks into a closed library because... he wanted to read
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"Do proteins hold the keys to the past?" Asks a group of scientists who have never used a blacklight in a hotel room
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Naked and breaking into Arizona homes in no way to go through life, son
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Fark NotNewsletter: When the U.S. sends its culture, they're not sending their best
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Adidas Nike arrested on drug charges. Hopefully he can Converse with a counselor and bring New Balance to his life
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this sheepish man
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Mystery Santa pays off everyone's items on layaway at Vermont Walmart
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Donate money, not food, to your local food bank
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Why does Mexican ketchup taste so good?
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Rock beats scissors. Gun beats rock
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Although Massachusetts cannabis stores are finally opened for recreational business, Old Man Winter has other plans. In other news apparently this is not a spliffy tag
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Photoshop this dinky apartment's facade
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Video shows helicopter dropping water on wildfire stop to rescue three people and two dogs trapped in the middle of the blaze
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When asked why a rocket that won't leave the solar system is named the Starship, Musk replied 'We built this city on rock and roll.'
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George Carlin lookalike and his buddy decide a raging wildfire is a good time to break into a fire station
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| (Cooking Panda) |
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If you drink a gallon of water every single day for a month, you'll end up looking completely different. And by "completely different," I mean "exactly the same in every way"
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People living in colder climates drink more booze. Suck it Florida Man, you lightweight
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Florida man says Santa came early, leaving cocaine, marijuana and several guns in his kitchen. 'Tis the season
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Goat gives birth to "half-pig, half-human" creature. Not a repeat from June 14, 1946
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Beached whale completes its solo journey
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Thirteen years behind schedule. $70+ billion over budget. Has no viable funding source. Less than a quarter of the land needed has been obtained. Literally hundreds of other problems. Yep, California HSR is a real bullet train. Straight to nowhere
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His name HAD to be Kevin, right?
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The best little tear down fixer upper in South Florida has been torn down
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Following a car-bike collision, do you A) exchange phone numbers, B) check to see the other party is OK, or C) drop your pants, poop on the road, then sling poop at the car?
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George Costanza distraught as Glamour Magazine ends print publication
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Welcome to the Brosectomy, where men get vasectomies together
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Hurtigruten announces it will fuel its ships in the most Norwegian way possible
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The first customer of Massachusetts legal weed is the Mayor of Northampton
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Ex-South Seattle College director looks after the student body. Well, some of the female ones
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Federal Air Marshals accused of more than 200 gun mishaps. Good thing they don't work in a confined space crammed with potential victims
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Normally, a story about a Russian woman jumping into a lake wouldn't make the front page of national news. There must be some special angle here to make it compelling. Let's see. Oh, that's a good angle. Oh, rear view, very nice. RUN IT (possibly NSFW)
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Today's story: Robots are blocking parking spots at Orlando malls to allow shoppers to reserve spaces. Tomorrow's story: Florida Man drove straight into robot blocking parking spot
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Where not to improvise a demolition derby
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Forklift nudges pillar in huge warehouse. What's the worst that could happen? Watch the video and find out
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Photoshop this snow pusher
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The Washington Post provides a virtual turkey for those drunk uncles who've been disinvited but still want to keep their skills up
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With the death toll now at 79, Paradise, CA may finally get some rain... which may not be a good thing
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The family says video shows the cops beating and tasering their relative to death. The district attorney's office says...oh, they're not saying anything. Which speaks volumes
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A Judge who served less than a year for violently assaulting his wife has been arrested again. Guess what for
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Japanese trains will no longer allow you to wave around your naked sword. Perhaps the knife juggling fad got out of hand
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Our magical shopping mall christmas display this year will feature two polar bears farking
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The old "pretend to be pregnant by sticking stuff in my coat" trick doesn't work well when you 1. try to steal a microwave and 2. are a guy
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Ever wondered what $3 billion would look like laid out in the street?
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How important are winter tires: Very. Even with traction control and anti-lock brakes
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| Mon November 19, 2018 |
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Remember when movies depicted Tsunamis as a wall of water, then we saw the real thing, and it was just like a very high tide? Apparently walls of water are still a thing
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Say goodbye to joining the Mile High Club as airlines install bathrooms that can barely fit even one person
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Retired teacher celebrates 108th birthday. "She didn't remember me, but she remembered spanking some kid for pulling the fire alarm bell," Hutton joked. "I said, 'Well that was me.'
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Fired Chipotle manager happy to be rehired, sad that risk of catching e.coli remains
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If you steal goods from your neighbor's house while he's out of town, maybe it might be a good idea to change clothes after committing the crime
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Woman gets her Hot-and-Ready order by plowing into Little Caesars (with holy-crap those customers were lucky video)
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City may drop requirement that convenience stores stock healthy food alongside the chips, cigarettes and lotto tickets after discovering that no one actually buys healthy food
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Old and busted: Driving while black. New hotness: Disembarking a streetcar while black (with video)
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Thieves break into house and steal frozen pizzas, hot dogs, makeup, and grandpa's cremated remains
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Duke University, they are who we thought they were
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When you hear of someone watching pron in the library you get a certain picture in your head. And then the mugshot confirms it
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Photoshop this bass
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For Thanksgiving week, tonight Paul's Memory Bank brings you songs with food or other semi-edible substances in the title or the lyrics, plus a Thanksgiving staple. Tune in at 8PM ET
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Masshole gleefully flips off police in booking mugshot after weekend arrest, continues statewide trend
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Air Force releases report detailing why pilot left more than a mile of skid marks on the runway, clears Chipotle of all wrongdoing
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Not sure what is worse: That he had sex with a miniature horse, or that the horse's name was mentioned in the report, or that he thought to use protection (with mugshot)
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Man disappears from 49rs game after leaving seat to use restroom. Officials suggest checking the backup quarterback position
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That Facebook secret sister gift exchange is actually an illegal pyramid scheme. You won't actually get 36 gifts while only buying one gift. Don't be so darned gullible. Next thing you'll be voting for a conman game show host as President
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Shots fired at Mercy Hospital in Chicago
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Nothing says "deer season" like a hunter dangling 30 feet in the air, upside down, with his legs tangled in his tree stand
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The Louvre, home to the Venus de Milo and countless other depictions of bare-breasted ladies, denies entry to woman wearing low-cut dress
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As a side effect of increased marijuana sales, thefts of large safes and safe cracking on the rise. Better avoid trains and stagecoaches
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Photoshop these signs
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Radio DJ broadcasting since 1977 to an audience of one finally gets chance to broadcast to a wider audience in a one-hour special over Christmas. That audience of one was his wife. "The station's entire audience has decided to go down the shops"
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Pope decries that 'wealthy few' feast on what belongs to all. From his gold and jewel encrusted palace
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.66
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Cops escorting Mr. and Mrs. Claus to a tire-lighting ceremony catch four shoplifters with a car full of loot in the parking lot. Ho ho hold it right there, dirtbags
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Police arrest package thief, personally deliver packages to rightful owners. In other news, Amazon announces new Prime benefits
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Damn, how many twists can the Johnny Bobbitt scam story take?
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Torn from the headlines of the Bangor Daily News: Picking Ducks for your Homestead
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'Authorities in South Carolina are hoping to identify a man disguised in bunny ears in connection with stolen deer cameras.'
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Golden study says Frankincense may treat arthritis. Click if you want to know myrrh
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Michael Bloomberg gives Johns Hopkins University a $1.8 BILLION gift to "dramatically expand undergraduate financial aid." Hopkins officials proudly announce this will enable a tuition hike of 10, perhaps even 20 percent
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Stolen snowplow truck crashes. Suspect is pantsless, I repeat, pantsless
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"'Polygamous ninja' Raven Blackwing now faces rape charges," and the story is just as creepy as the headline
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That Norwegian frigate that sank after a collision? It had a U.S. Navy officer stationed on board as part of an exchange program, and he's now part of the investigation. Will be given the nickname 'Fjord' for the rest of his career
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Man complains about being trapped in house for 3 weeks after getting bionic penis that left him constantly erect. His wife reportedly had no complaints
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Some parents are upset about a Christmas app where kids can call Santa and he says, "In five nights, if you're free, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you." Pfffft. Parents. Am I right?
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Wildfire evacuees take refuge in Walmart parking lot. Haven't they suffered enough?
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Photoshop this forest scene
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In case you're still on the fence about vaccinating your children because you're a f*cking moron, here are three ETHICAL REASONS FOR GETTING THEM THEIR F*CKING VACCINATIONS
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The number of witches in the US has risen dramatically over the past few decades
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Camden police stop-and-search of two men nets massive haul of dangerous and addictive drugs
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Do they have a section on orgies in the Guinness World Records?
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Chipotle fires manager for telling black guys they have to pay before ordering because they never have any money
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Have you ever driven on the infamous 'Snake' section of California's Mulholland Highway? Feel lucky if you saw it before it burned
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According to Slate, wildfires are no reason to cancel school
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Jamal Khashoggi may have departed Istanbul's international airport via gates A2, B9, and C16 simultaneously. In related news, United and Delta now considering charging separate transport fees for passengers' individual body parts
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Woman has waited for fifteen months to get her rape kit tested because evidence tracking is so terrible in police departments
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We have our first criminal captured by following footsteps in the snow story of the year. 'Tis the season for such folly
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Widow paints her front door blue because it reminds her of her late husband. If you just thought "Here comes the HOA," your Fark-Fu is strong
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Trade wars are easy to win. We're still in one though
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Portrait of Christopher Walken stolen from Edinburgh Pub. "I'm giving you the opportunity to return the picture. You have until Wednesday morning before I involve the police." Or Walken himself
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