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Sun November 04, 2018
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Every single time you stand up, you should faint. Nobody knows why you don't
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Conde Nast Traveler)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cotton top
source: media.cntraveler.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Naps can help improve mood, alertness, and performance. Or they can prompt a critically missing officer alert
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Construction workers find time capsule hidden in wall of California lighthouse. No word if it leads to Templars' treasure
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popsugar)
 
 
 
Geniuses who decorate early for Christmas are happier than the Grinches who don't, as those prepared to be simply having a wonderful Christmastime are mentally stable
source: popsugar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Chattanoogan)
 
 
 
"We just broke out of juvie, where should we go?" "I know, let's go to the mall. No one would think to look for us there." "Brilliant"
source: chattanoogan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tucson.com)
 
 
 
In Arizona, the war over water has begun
source: tucson.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Stunt)
 
 
 
Photoshop these nimble firefighters
source: images.glaciermedia.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
According to British Airways, a "minor technical issue" was responsible for over 200 passengers being stranded at two different airports over a three day period. Bonus: mid-air fuel dumping and high-altitude lowering of the landing gear
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Stealing $100 worth of merch from an adult novelty store is no way to have your picture taken
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Because apparently having a rewarding career, savings in the bank, a house you can proudly show off to friends, and freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want is a bad thing. Yep, it's "that thread" again
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
If there's one thing true about straight men, it's that they're completely disinterested in sex (NSFW)
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop what's about to happen to you
source: yourshot.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Memorable birthdays - share a story about a memorable birthday. It can be your own or someone else's that you participated in
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Who says the wheels of justice turn slowly? I mean, it took just just a short 11 months for two Indiana cops to be charged with battery after brutally beating a handcuffed man. That's like super swift, right?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Bee Arthur costume
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
#MermaidsToo
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reader's Digest)
 
 
 
Alanis Morissette, white courtesy phone. Captain Alanis Morissette, white courtesy phone. No, the white phone
source: rd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"The do's and don'ts of flying with babies." For some reason, this article is longer than the single sentence, "Do fly without babies, but don't fly with them"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
You've been drunk, but have you ever been "jump on a horse and ride it to the track at Churchill Downs" drunk?
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
California customers are going to get fat off some tasty, dusty donuts
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The Raiders aren't the only thing collapsing in Oakland
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Mother-of-three who shelled out £12,600 to dating agency that subsequently failed to find her boyfriend says she "no longer has dreams"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 03, 2018
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Meet Australia's Sasquatch, the Yowie; and its hunters, who strangely aren't drunk, stoned, or thick-glassed caravan park blokes
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Make America Wake Up an Hour Later Again. Trump's admin is pushing this crazy idea starting tonight. Vote him out
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Ken Ham, founder of Ark Encounter, attacks press for reporting on his collapsing attendance numbers that he publicly releases
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Meditator)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scene of quiet contemplation
source: cdn.tuoitre.vn   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
Tiny 480sqft 1br/1ba house in San Francisco price reduced to $589,900. Now absolutely affordable. Fark bonus: Realtor says it could 'easily' be made into a 2br/2ba
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Tallahassee yoga shooter was A) Far-right, B) Incel, C) Racist, or D) It's always D, isn't it?
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heavy)
 
 
 
Actual headline of article on the shooting at Florida hot yoga studio: "Maura Binkley: A Tribute to the Hot Yoga Shooting Victim." OK, while it looks literally accurate, apparently we aren't doing phrasing anymore
source: heavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Flooding a fire station while high on bath salts is no way to live your life, young lady
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
A bunch of rednecks with guns are loitering along the southern border. What could possibly go wrong?
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
When it comes to choosing a location for Amazon's 2nd HQ, let's choose a place with horrific traffic, a mass transit system that is often broken or on fire, and an inability to deal with routine winter weather. Bonus: let's make it really expensive
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Nash
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists say vegetarians see less reason to live. That's because they don't have bacon
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Fisherman rescued from sea cliff after being pursued by aggressive seal team
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
What better way to start a cruise vacation than for the ship to list enough to cause tables to slide across the floor?
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
90-year-old pensioner made hundreds of foul-mouthed 999 calls demanding pasties and lifts to bingo
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Technology, climate change, and shrinking borders are changing America's rural areas for better and worse
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(River Bender)
 
 
 
Ike the llama has been rescued (again) after escaping into Yellowstone Park
source: riverbender.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Spud)
 
 
 
The potato chip. Photoshop it
source: idahopotato.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A resourceful vet in Portugal has found a rather unique way to help house the stray felines in her local town. Rub-a-dub-dub, it's time for Caturday
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You'd have to endure terrible pizza to pay just $56 million for a view of some trees
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Woman left with "farting boob" after botched breast enlargement (PNSFW/Graphic content)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
How to get to Inaccessible Island, in case you have nothing better to do, and we do mean nothing
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Uber wants to remake "Death Race 2000"
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Guess what's wrong with this photo of an MSNBC reporter in a parking lot
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 02, 2018
(The Verge)
 
 
 
GM unveils Bikey McBikeface
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
Move over Mickey Mouse. A Florida company wants to bring a snow park to the Sunshine State On a steaming hot day, what could go wrong?
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
Weeners
 
"It makes a change from seeing Jesus on toast"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
When all else fails, go for the "I need a haircut before my trial" plea. In the perp's mind, the haircut would've taken the focus off half his mustache missing & one eyebrow plucked clean. We're betting on "not a farking chance"
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Men arrested for smashing pumpkins, claim that despite all of their rage they are still just rats in a cage
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Mass shooting reported at Florida yoga studio [Update: four wounded, shooter dead]
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this perching cat
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
"Trick or treat!" "Have some poop"
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJRT)
 
 
 
Woman survives five day ordeal of being trapped in bathtub. Doctors say she'll be fine, but her fingers may never recover from being pruny
source: abc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
So California has a wandering mud geyser
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
It is usually not a good idea to steal some cocaine from a drug dealer. You might end up being fed to some hogs
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Special Broadcasting Service)
 
 
 
Have you ever wanted to get drunk in an abandoned tunnel, but aren't a hobo or urban explorer? Sydney has some good news for you
source: sbs.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this graceful aviator
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
Weeners
 
Headline says it best: Angry Christian woman disrupts drag queen story at bookstore hour because Jesus
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Here's how the Air Force would destroy North Korea. Evidently they'd use planes, bombs
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
This dog wanted steak so bad he turned on the oven and nearly burned down the house
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Man orders a drink, pours the drink over the counter and knocks the cash register off of the counter. Ladies and Gentlemen, we present this week's episode of The Canadian Aristocrats
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Has 'stand your ground' made Florida more tolerant of deadly force? Short answer: yes. Long answer is currently dodging gunfire and unable to respond
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Esanbehanakitakojima sinks under the weight of its name
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man whose self propeled wheelchair was lost on plane declines use of assisted alternative, considers it pushing things
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Nude model gorges on junk food in her bid to become the world's heaviest model. 21 stones later, it appears success has been achieved (NSFW)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Bad: Someone wears a KKK outfit to a bar's costume contest. Worse: They win
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Today's WTF is brought to you by 1,000 teeth found at dentistry in Valdosta, Georgia (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Target offers something called 'Skip the Line' for Black Friday. Not sure if this will increase or decrease civil unrest
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nieman Journalism Lab)
 
 
 
Something your local media may have not mentioned to you: metropolitan newspapers across the nation tailor their coverage to serve readers in the top two quintiles of the income distribution
source: niemanlab.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Former NBA player busted bringing his dog into Australia in his carry-on luggage. Fark: Dog is named Kobe
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Colombian hookers 'plied men with drugs during orgies at notorious sex island party'. They say that like it's a bad thing. NSFW images obviously (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Reporters test Utah's new .05 DUI law, with interesting results thanks to the weak-ass beer the state forces you to buy
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
If you're riding a bus over a dangerous river gorge, it may not be the best time to hit the driver over the head with your cellphone
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Boy trick-or-treating as Donald Trump sad when woman says she should slap him, doesn't realize most people would pay extra for that
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Dad... did I just find your skeletal remains in the basement?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston 25 News)
 
 
 
Shirley man arrested with thousands or rounds of ammo. Asks that you please, don't call him Shirley
source: boston25news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Things millennials have ruined: Cereal. Avocados. Dating. Facebook. Fast food. Diamonds. Literally everything but America itself. So we must stop them from ruining the country we call home
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
"A helmetless Darth Vader on meth" plans on bringing his special kind of wisdom to the Great White North
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
"Tennessee executes inmate by electric chair for second time in 60 years." Wow, that dude must have been one tough, old bastard
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Financial guru Kevin O'Leary thinks that a credit card that hasn't been used online is not exposed to the internet. You know, because no company keeps data in the cloud
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Scientist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this microwave generator. Difficulty: no cowbell
source: utsic.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Bishop visits fifth- and sixth-grade students, says there is no Santa Claus and they should not celebrate Halloween. Wait. Isn't Santa a saint?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
It's not just Indiana. People are texting over kids at bus stops left and right. Running. I meant running
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Best. Halloween. Trick. Evar.
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Will County Herald-News)
 
 
 
Suspicious candy hearts were nothing but sugar. That stuff'll kill you man...it'll kill you
source: theherald-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
I wish somebody would have told me it's wrong to drive the kids around the neighborhood to trick-or-treat while drinking a fifth of whiskey
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
One of you Farkers may not remember getting drunk, putting on a Pennywise costume, scaring children on Halloween and attacking someone with a beer bottle
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Suspect in Washington State bomb threats is a deranged psychiatrist, according to police, who add "Physician, heal thyself"
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you finally complete your bucket wish because you're dying and they tell you your tumour STOPPED? Okay maybe not 'hate'
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breaking News (Ireland))
 
 
 
The nation famous for its drinkers now has insta-bans for drink drivers of any amount
source: breakingnews.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 01, 2018
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
The couple that flies B-2 stealth bombers together, stays together. As far as you know
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Once again, we ask that you please remember to remove your donated clothing before placing it in the charity bin. Thank-you
source: kitchener.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Ancestral home of Winston Churchill has lake drained revealing secret tunnels and hidden rooms with eerie scenes dating from early 1700s
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these model Porsche 356C's
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Shooting a bullet with a bullet? Yeah, we can do that
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Attempting new record, commercial airline pilot shows up for flight ten times over alcohol limit
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Finnish authorities think there might be something fishy about the Russian businessman who has bought 17 properties near military bases, 9 piers, a helipad, a swimming pool draped in camouflage netting, and a bunch of barracks with satellite dishes
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Question 10: When approaching a stopped vehicle with flashing lights you should A) immediately pull over and stop, B) reduce speed, C) reduce speed and prepare to stop, or D) just keep going; flashing lights are somebody else's concern, not yours
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Fecal-eating worms" in employee bathrooms is not the money-saving tip Macomb County is looking for, Ms. County Clerk
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Tats)
 
 
 
Photoshop this messy athlete
source: storage.googleapis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
Starbucks really really really tried to make an inoffensive holiday cup this year
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
What is that, a Titleist?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Two high school students find out they're both having sex with their science teacher and become so furious they tell his wife. Arrestilarity ensues
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Want to pause garbage pick-up while you're on vacation? No problem citizen, we'll just need a completed absence form, your travel dates, a copy of your airline tickets, your hotel receipts, and a note from your doctor or school
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
Cincinnati customs agents discover massive illegal shipment of Chinese: a) drugs b) electronics or c) crabs
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Artist Formally Known As)
 
 
 
Prince Charles demands on staff make Van Halen's tour rider look reasonable
source: newidea.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTNV Las Vegas)
 
 
 
World's largest Marijuana dispensary opens in Vegas, guaranteed to put you on another planet
source: amp.ktnv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The NHS spends £3m a year retrieving items children have stuck in their noses and ears, though they could make some of that back by keeping the coins they find
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Black box recovered from crashed Indonesian jet. That doesn't look very black to me. Better call it the Dolezal box
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
"South Park Susan," whose drunken threatening of her black neighbors went viral, is now unable to be found by police who want to arrest her
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Hey Whitey you've heard of elf on the shelf, how about a lock in the sock? In related news, the Dr Seuss estate sues for copyright infringement
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Who painted this giant penis and breasts on two Stockholm apartment roofs?
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
I know what will bring back books: Make them vertical read, super tiny, with very thin paper pages and charge $12 a piece for them
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guitar World)
 
 
 
"Welcome to today's school assembly students. Today we'll recognize the A-B honor roll students, announce days and times for the PSAT and SAT, and wind up with a performance by the Red Hot Chili Peppers" (with video)
source: guitarworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Ever wake up from a nap, and feel a bit confused about where you are for a moment before snapping out of it? This guy wishes it were just a feeling
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Well, at least she didn't wake up naked in a Las Vegas bathtub full of ice with a message in lipstick scrawled on the mirror
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
You said you were going to kill Jews. You were caught killing Jews. How do you plead? Not guilty? Well OK then
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Albuquerque Journal)
 
 
 
Gilligan accidentally shot by his own dog while hunting jackrabbits. I must have missed that episode
source: abqjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Definitive proof on why you should NEVER smear your genitals in peanut butter when in the vicinity of a canine
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Up until then, things had all been fun and games
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Kind: Offer to pay for the order of the driver behind you in the drive-thru. Kind-of-stupid: It's a cop and you're driving while impaired and with no insurance, vehicle registration and your licence is suspended
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Co-owner of water park with deadly slide arrested again for violating probation. Was working on new hotel room ride featuring meth, Xanax and a hooker he paid with all-day passes to the park
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Half-naked woman falls through the ceiling of a restaurant ... twice. Manna from heaven still not on the menu
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Bar transforms into Moe's Tavern from 'The Simpsons' for Halloween, starts getting lots of prank phone calls from some kid
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Toilet stolen from West Virginia home. Police have nothing to go on
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Deer)
 
 
 
Photoshop these golf spectators
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"My name is Hansjörg Wyss. We have to save the planet, so I'm donating one billion dollars"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Woman leaves kids in hot car with meth while she shops at dollar store, wins Florida Man Bingo
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
"At first glance it could be a cute dog's fluffiness under a door, or maybe the fur on a jacket hood? Nope, it's spiders." That hunt in packs
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sad is not enough to describe the story of the 9yo girl who tried to shield her little brothers from the on-coming pick-up truck. Those big yellow buses have those bright red flashing lights for a reason
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Atinlay eachertay argedchay ithway avinghay exualsay elationshipray ithway udentstay
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
$847.63
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fairbanks Daily Newsminer)
 
 
 
Area man really bad at running people over
source: newsminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome to the 2018 Fark Halloween Scary Story thread! Does your story scare more people than this week's news? Prove it! Top 10 Scariest (SMART) and Funniest (FUNNY) voted stories will earn their writer a month of TotalFark
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Saudi Gazette)
 
 
 
Large numbers of pigeons mysteriously dead, possibly poisoned, in Saudi Arabia. Government vows thorough investigation. No word on what newspaper they worked for
source: saudigazette.com.sa   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Antonio Express)
 
 
 
Maybe they should have consulted a fifth grader before they wrote the headline
source: expressnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Not really news: Looks like the Saudis feel free to execute subjects who do not follow the Crown Prince's orders to return home. Fark: Here on American soil
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXII Texoma)
 
 
 
Crashing your car, then breaking into a house, is not normal behavior for a town Mayor. But on Meth it is
source: kxii.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
This is why Farkers are still single
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MEL Magazine)
 
 
 
Pretty sure this is a self correcting problem
source: melmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 704: "Halloween 9". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 31, 2018
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Parts of Lion Air jet found on Java seafloor, prepares stack trace
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
High School principal resigns after not realizing schools have cameras that can track when he enters the school nurse's locked medication room. Submitter forgot his pills today so didn't make a Priciple joke
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Convicted felon flashes stolen gun in Facebook Live video. "We use social media to find the bad guys all of the time and it works really well because they want to boast. Rock on. I mean it makes it easy, we like it"
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
DC's young conservatives are making a point of dressing like Brett Kavanaugh this Halloween
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Two dead after gyrocopter crashes into mobile homes. Huh, I guess it's not just tornadoes that are attracted to them
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Your Halloween costumes and decorations: let you show us them
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Nigerian scam supposedly costs a man $500,000. Newspaper posts helpful article. Comment section denizens respond accordingly
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Stuff)
 
 
 
Photoshop this autumn still-life
source: desertgardenmontessori.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The first rule of Missouri Preschool Fight Club is that you don't video tape Missouri Preschool Fight Club. The second rule of Missouri Preschool Fight Club is you don't cheer on fighting preschoolers while on camera, especially if you're the teacher
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Health officials confirm outbreak at cancer center. I mean, besides cancer
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
'Piggyback Bandit' to be extradited from Alabama to New Jersey for some piggyback charges
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WINK Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Having run out of other things to scare you about, doctors now focus on skin cancer underneath your fingernails
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Parents name newborn daughter after Colonel Sanders to get large cash prize and scratch one thing off their bucket list
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Breeze)
 
 
 
After working for UPS for over 40 years, driver Jerry Bollinger is retiring. On his last day, many of his customers were there to wish him well... and dressed like him for Halloween
source: dailybreeze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Second cougar terrorizes Utah neighborhood. Cable installers, pizza delivery drivers rejoice
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Waitrose Magazine's boss resigns after sending email suggesting force-feeding vegans steak and red wine
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Creepy, mystery music wafting up out of the Delaware River
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this leaning display
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
125-pound woman chokes New York bar bouncer unconscious over mistaken butt smack, is immediately signed to WWE contract, title shot at next PPV
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man rescued from well went in "just to say he did," proving again that he's no deep thinker
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Old voting machines are confusing Texans. To be fair, though, you could replace "old voting machines" in this headline with "dull crayons," "inside-out socks," "sparkly glitter," "gluesticks," or about a hundred other things
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Armed with bats, Washington State teachers learn how to disarm shooters. No fair, my dungeon master never let me use small animals as improvised bludgeoning weapons
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Carving pumpkins with laser beams, because why the hell not? PEW PEW PEW
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comic Book)
 
 
 
If you cheat while playing an online game in America, you could just get banned. If you cheat while playing an online game in Japan, you could go to jail
source: comicbook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
One of our own Farkers volunteered to help on election day, and a local judge implied intent to commit election fraud. Subby doesn't have much Twitter presence, can we help get this boosted?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Just so you know, Reese's will gladly take your unwanted Halloween candy
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canada considering cancer warning on every individual cigarette. Also considering printing "Don't forget the milk" on every corn flake, "watch out for kids" on every steering wheel, and "too much of that and you'll go blind" on every hand
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Couple who died taking selfie in Yosemite regularly took risky photos. In related news, people who play Russian roulette often suffer from headaches
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Realtor protests her own neighborhood HOA by erecting a skeleton concentration camp on her front lawn for Halloween. Says "neighbors can leave" if they don't like it, offers 1% discount on closing costs
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Mayor solicits sex from constituent in exchange for speed bumps
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
'Time traveler from year 6000' claims dinosaurs 'return to earth in 4529 to be kept in zoos'
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Look, pastor, if you're going to walk around the school where you teach filming secret footage of student and faculty breasts, butts, and genitals, don't leave the thumb drive in the parking lot. Especially if it's got your face on it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Just in time for Halloween, buy a bar of luxurious, skin softening soap for $32. What's that? Not creepy? Oh, right: it's made with human fat
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ranker)
 
 
 
Wanna go find a body on Halloween? Here are some of the best places to look for them
source: ranker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Tennessee set to execute inmate with electric chair "built by a self-taught execution expert who is no longer welcomed in the prison system." Alrighty then
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Virginians: My God, I-81 is a hellish strip of pavement clogged with too many drivers fighting slow-moving semis, construction delays, and wrecks. DO SOMETHING. Governor: Hm. How about tolls? Would tolls work? Let's do tolls
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
White woman calls police on a black couple parked near a crosswalk. Now we have Crosswalk Courtney
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
While everyone was obsessing over that rectangular iceberg, another one the size of Manhattan just broke off from Antarctica
source: earther.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Woman claiming to have sex with 20 ghosts is engaged to a spirit
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Gum, bottled water, pizza bagels want to be labeled 'healthy'
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Yo dawg, I heard you like eggs
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
There is a serial rabbit killer in the French town of Minihy-Tréguier. Authorities denied claims that this was an elaborate hoax, because trix are for kids
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: It was a Fark and stormy night
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Woman stabs husband multiple times because neither they nor their doctor had heard of "puff, puff, pass"
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Stranger hacks family's Nest cameras, starts talking to them. "When my son said 'mommy, mommy,' he told him to shut up"
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Halloween Guy)
 
 
 
It's Fark's Annual Jack-O-Lantern Contest. Show us your creativity, Halloween 'shoppers
source: priorityseed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYU Local)
 
 
 
Do you dress your dogs up for Halloween? This is your Halloween edition of Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: nyulocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"Freddy hated rats. Freddy hated guys who abused women. Whitey was a rat who killed women. It's probably that simple"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Nurse loses job after sharing photo of blackface Halloween costume. Hello Nurse? You had a costume already
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Canada, model of politeness and level-headed thinking, still charges women with witchcraft. However, due to carbon offsets, burning is right out
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
Florida Man avoids prosecution after pulling a handgun on black college students to prevent them from getting on the same elevator as him
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Man dressed as the Terminator learns wearing live ammo to a college class is not a great idea these days
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
Weeners
 
Meet the men having penis fillers to boost their self-esteem, including one guy getting it as a surprise present for his girlfriend. And they say romance is dead
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Old fat man says nothing
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Human remains found in Vatican embassy. When the priest blesses the host, it turns into Jesus, then do a DNA test and see if it matches
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Burn an omelette and threw it out? That's a shootin'
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
There are "No" headline questions, there are "Yes" headline questions, and then there are "Seriously, do you need to even ask?" headline questions
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
I think we've earned a bit of good news: Police in India have raided a whole bunch of call centers and arrested large numbers of phone scammers
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Tinder claims to have invented swiping left and right, sues bumble over it. Let's see how ridiculous these IP suits can become
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Doctors suspect acute flaccid myelitis, resulting in kids suffering from polio-like paralysis across US, caused by rare EV-D68 virus. Good, maybe they'll make a vaccine for it like for polio, mumps, measles
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 30, 2018
(CBC)
 
 
 
Border Patrol: Good day. Have you ever partaken in an activity which is legal in your home country and in several states? Tourist: Yes. Border Patrol: I'm sorry, you are now banned for life from the United States
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
'A man wanted in three jurisdictions was arrested Monday at Stafford Marketplace after striking ten vehicles before climbing onto the roof of a Five Guys restaurant and hiding in an air conditioning unit.'
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Angry white woman leaves CAPS-FILLED NOTE for new neighbors. I'll give you one guess what she was angry about. #DoorNoteDeborah
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Sweeney Todd had a lasting influence on the English it seems (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
There's 25 miles to Atlanta, we've got marijuana, 500 Lego®-shaped ecstasy pills, a baby on a gun on the floor, it's dark out, and we're wearing sunglasses
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Meghan Markle beats Prince Harry in a welly wanging competition in New Zealand. When asked to comment on story, The Queen reportedly said, "Does one not do phrasing now?"
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Eighty years ago, The Mercury Theatre broadcast "War of the Worlds". In 1968, WKBW in Buffalo did its own version with its own reporters. Fifty years later, Western New York still argue which was better
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here. Just a litany of enormous Canadian glaciers melting much faster than anticipated from the worst-case AGW scenarios. We'll be ok. VERLEUGNUNG MACHT FREI
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Protesters flood Pittsburgh streets in response to Trump's arrival
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Irish Times)
 
 
 
Tokyo garden loses fortune because a ticket seller was afraid of asking foreigners to pay admission fee after being yelled at by one two and a half years ago
source: irishtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pumpkin chuckin' gorilla
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Lacking a dead whale, Wyoming blows up a moose
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
We have found a witch, or 100s of them. How do you know they are witches? What do you burn apart from witches? Wood So, why do witches burn? Cuz they're made of... wood? Does wood sink in water? No, it floats. So... if they weigh the same as a ducks??
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Man barricades himself inside a house in Ypsilanti, Michigan, and threatens to blow the structure up. Property value expected to increase by $20,000
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Bill, bill, bill, nope, bill, bill....wait. Back up a couple
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
How the spooky celebration known as Halloween was brought to America from Ireland's Great Famine
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
What's worse than a crazy dude with a chainsaw on the subway? A crazy dude with two chainsaws and multiple warrants
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Asian countries that still use bear bile and powdered rhino horn as medicine warn citizens not to use legal pot in Canada
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fixer upper
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
CDC says it's fine to dress up your chicken for Halloween, but choking it still frowned upon
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Venice flooded
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Darwin Award Quarterfinals, the Dude explains, Tab shortage, and rock, paper, car. These are your Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-10-14 to Sat 2018-10-20
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
TEPCO apologizes to Fukushima victims for inappropriate social media hashtag #kojomoe ("strong affection toward factories") attached to pic inside crippled reactor. #だめ
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Cold Vase Files, Harley, and Welcome to our Lawn, these are your Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-10-07 to Sat 2018-10-13
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Stalled NJ Transit train almost turns into the Hunger Games
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
New Zealand couple might have to close down their cafe after council declares "one does not simply need more than 12 chairs inside a cafe"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sooke News Mirror)
 
 
 
In Canada and want a helpful map of where the most Trick or Treaters will be and their average age? There's an app for that. No way this information could be used for nefarious purposes
source: sookenewsmirror.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
World vertebrate population has dropped 60% since 1970, says WWF. Blames human pollution, choke-slams, piledrivers
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Devout Catholic who spent eight years training to be a nun quits convent school to become country's best-loved porn star. NSFW
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Whitey Bulger completes life sentence
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Cow head found lying on rural Montana road. Smoking a cigarette. For crying out loud, how much more proof is needed to convince you that those things are dangerous?
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
'Suspected sex shop slayer' is not the headline you want appearing over your photo
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mansfield News Journal)
 
 
 
Don't eat any blue-tinted rock candy you find in your trick-or-treat bag
source: mansfieldnewsjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
China reverses ban on trade in tiger bones and rhino horns. Conservationists, online Viagra marketers outraged
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Breeze)
 
 
 
Caption this lion and tarantula
source: dailybreeze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Judge confirms that Julian Assange has to clean up after his cat
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weekly Standard)
 
 
 
Marijuana heightens risk of psychosis. Everyone knows you are high. There are snakes watching you from every bush as you pass. Your mother has been replaced with a doppelganger
source: weeklystandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Happy Birthday, dear LSD...Happy Birthday, to you. Lysergic acid diethylamide turns 75
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Passage to 'underworld' found under Mexican Pyramid, no word if a three-headed dog is there to keep the residents of there from leaving it
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS17)
 
 
 
Charlotte police respond to suspicious package, determine it was a Journey cassette. Who's crying now?
source: cbs17.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Uh, you know that is not cocaine, it is soap, right?"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
YouTube challenges, mystery meat, and feral varmints - and Florida Man gets the week off. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz, Oct. 14-20 Baby Shark doo doo doo doo doo doo Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISTV)
 
 
 
This Halloween Eve, let us remember it is a celebration of the second-most disgusting candy known to man. That's right, it's National Candy Corn Day. The most disgusting candy doesn't have its own day, because no one celebrates black licorice (other than the Dutch)
source: wistv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Apparently sex orgies with poo being flung all over the hotel room is all the rage with the Saudi Arabian ruling class (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
'A New Hampshire state lawmaker producing and starring in a porn film assaulted his business partner in California after he felt his scenes didn't go well'
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Two people headed to work injured in hammer attack following disagreement over cigarette
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rockin' Santa
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Police chief tases woman as she's watching her home burn to the ground, then things get all Arkansas
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The trouble with hosting a "Purge" Halloween party at your nightclub is there's always that someone who takes the theme a little too seriously
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
In case you thought Russia's coal-rolling aircraft carrier couldn't get any more embarrassing, the floating dry dock where it was undergoing repairs just sank around it, with cranes collapsing onto its deck
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
It's never a good week to host a 'Swastika Saturday' at your open house, especially this week
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
'Several different religions believe the Second Coming of Jesus will happen in Independence, Missouri. And to this day, three different churches surround that sacred soil.'
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Your synagogue has just been attacked and your friends have been killed - what do you do? Well, if you are Dr. Cohen and other Jewish staff at Allegheny General Hospital, you provide the attacker with the best possible medical care, because you are professionals
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Jamal Khashoggi's final column, read on camera by his fellow journalists
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Cops: Man wearing inflatable dinosaur costume battered girlfriend during Halloween party dispute
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man kidnapped 31 years ago makes shocking discovery. He is Canadian
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
U.S. government airs Spanish-language program about "multimillionaire Jew," "nonpracticing Jew of flexible morals" involved in "clandestine operations that led to the dismantling of the Soviet Union" and "architect of the financial collapse of 2008"
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
You know that beautifully intimate moment that was going to be just you and your fiancé's? Yeah, well, some idiot with an Instagram account just ruined it
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida Man and Florida Woman discover gay man wearing a Speedo visiting a small uninhabited island. Click for an all-new adventure
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Potential hazards of participating in an eating contest include indigestion, diarrhea, and death
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
MAGAbomber "had a list of people in the hundreds, containing politicians, entertainers and news people, and was going down that list to mail out packages,"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 29, 2018
(Some 4x4)
 
 
 
"I love my 4-wheel drive car. It's fun to drive and looks great." "How does it handle off-road"? "How does it what now?"
source: hotcars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tucson News Now)
 
 
 
Ms Frizzle is starting to get downright negligent
source: tucsonnewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dora the Explorer claims another victim
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Help, I am being held prisoner in a Chinese Styrofoam tombstone factory
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Failed 'prank' at Nazi mausoleum leads to teen friend's stabbing. There are so many things wrong with that sentence
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Here is how you can support those affected by the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRN Nashville)
 
 
 
Rule number one for developers: NEVER BUILD A SUBDIVISION OVER A CEMETERY
source: wkrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these beach-goers
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
OK, it's not Halloween or the day before, it's 2 days before, so tonight (8PM EDT) it's Paul's Memory Bank's Halloweeneeneen Show, featuring Orson Welles & The Mercury Theater on the Air's 'The War of the Worlds' from 80 years ago
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Catholic church split over abuse scandal gravity." It's just nice that they finally acknowledge a scientific theory
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
A woman is forced off the road by a tailgater. When her fiancé tries to take a picture of the tailgater's license plate, things go all 2A
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ultimate Guitar)
 
 
 
Dude plays doom metal riffs to a herd of cows. Cows react with "Git mor lesuns"
source: ultimate-guitar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Apparently school shootings are so common now that they don't even merit cancelling classes for a half-day
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Dispatch)
 
 
 
Anti-vaccination billboards pop up in West Virginia, claiming UFC fighter Nick Catone's infant son died from vaccine. Last person Subby would want to piss off would be Nick Catone
source: herald-dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
World Series Dodger fans who took the train stuck when 'suspicious package' traps them in Union Station overnight. Meanwhile in Boston fans on the T-Line use suspicious packages to hold their beer
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Ontarians fed up with cannabis delivery problems complain to the Ombudsman. Hehehehe Om Buds, man
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
And boy, was her face red (NSFW)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these motorcyclists
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Stolen colon reward explored (Update: it's been found)
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
When you take so much Xanax you forget your baby is in the car during a traffic stop (with a pretty solid "that's a rough 20" mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Were you ever wondering if anybody ever died a tragic or violent death in the house you are living in...*scary flashlight face*...well, today is your lucky day
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 6 Birmingham)
 
 
 
Alabama man stops armed gunman from shooting up a McDonald's. I think we can all agree the most important question here is "who the fark shoots up a McDonald's"?
source: wbrc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
NZ vegans complain over the taste of money
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Man all smiles after $150,000 "Lamborghini" prosthetic arm recovered by cops after it's stolen
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
One does not simply project Sauron's eye above the Salesforce Tower San Francisco for Halloween
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Carnival Cruise Lines admitted that a device capable of recording video was indeed in the stateroom, but added that the couple wasn't doing anything worth watching anyway
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lafayette Journal & Courier)
 
 
 
Student urinates on electrical outlet in attempt to start fire. Bonus: Helpful analysis of what happens when urine stream touches electricity
source: jconline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
UK Chancellor has a mug with his name on it, surprising many people who thought it would say "World's Best Chancellor"
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Westword)
 
 
 
"Marijuana plants are highly odorous, and their offense smell travels long distances" say litigious horse ranch owners
source: westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Suspicious package addressed to CNN discovered in Atlanta. Officials reportedly became concerned once they saw it contained a copy of "How to Win at Jeopardy" by Wolf Blitzer
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iceland Review)
 
 
 
Iceland celebrates its 100-year anniversary as a sovereign nation by installing a floating penis-like sculpture on a small lake in the middle of Reykjavik. Say hello to the "Little Mersausage" (SFW)
source: icelandreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
What it's like to get your head stuck inside a pumpkin and become a pumpkinhead
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
More than 250 companies pledge to eradicate plastic waste by 2025, including Coca Cola, H&M and L'Oreal
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
"Anyone want a 28-pound cat?"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Group of pornstars set up paranormal investigation team after finding white sticky ectoplasm all over their studio
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Yet another school shooting. This time in North Carolina
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Imagine that the ghosts of every person who ever died are roaming the Earth. Aside from perving out (we don't need to see that), what are these ghosties up to?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Take a trip inside Kashmir's overlooked architectural masterpiece. OOOOOOOOOOOOH YEAH TALKIN' BOUT LOVE
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Look at my horse, my horse is amazing. Give it a lick. Ooo, someone cut its hair???
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Four adults charged after toddler was found with a beer. Must be a rather cool toddler
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Building bombs in the attic for elected officials"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
We're addicted to concrete. We're addicted to beaches. Two enter, one leaves
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
"There have been 47,220 gun incidents in the U.S. in 2018 - and here they all are on one map"
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Christ on a cracker, Ireland votes to remove blasphemy ban from their constitution. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph unavailable for comment
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Calgary Sun)
 
 
 
News: Police force has body cams that can continuously run for a whole shift, can't be altered, are not allowed to be disabled, and upload video directly to the Cloud. Canadian News: And they like having them
source: calgarysun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Lion Air Boeing 737 passenger plane crashes minutes after taking off from Jakarta, Indonesia
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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