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Sun October 21, 2018
(LGBTQ Nation)
 
Weeners
 
That's not 12 inches
source: lgbtqnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Crews work throughout the night to control fire at Vermont Country Store warehouse. Never a good idea to store linen, towels, hard candy, and 16 million scented candles in the same warehouse as oil lamps, wood stove supplies, and bath salts
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this positive reinforcement
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
News: Activist pushing for pure food regulations is smeared by industry and government for "doing all he can to destroy American business". Not News: In 1902. Fark: Things aren't much better today
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Travel and Leisure)
 
 
 
Flight delayed two hours because: A) inclement weather, B) bomb threat, or C) two off-duty pilots who wanted their first class seats and wanted them NOW
source: travelandleisure.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Memphis City Moms Blog)
 
 
 
Mommy blogger unleashes on childless Millennials who are RUINING DISNEY WORLD
source: memphis.citymomsblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Contractor finds 150-year-old skull while building patio, so Ontario government makes recent widow pay over $70,000 for archaeological investigation
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Come test your knowledge of comic book movies, insurance fraud, and of course Naked Florida Man. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz, Sept 30-Oct 6 Cream Cheese Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Dumb: driving drunk. Dumber: crashing into a cop car. And dumbest? Don't worry, he was in the passenger seat with an open arrest warrant
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Hungover, strapped naked to a tree is no way to go through life...but at least you get some loose change
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this incredible Hulk
source: secure.i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Columnist argues we should stop insisting that cyclists have to wear helmets. "In whole-population terms, it's far healthier to cycle without a helmet than it is to never cycle at all"
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Legal battle over whether or not remove terminally ill Texas girl from life supports gets solved without any input from either courts or parents
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
On the positive side, no broken bones were detected, so hey... free X-ray
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Aztec calendar speeds up time
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fredericksburg)
 
 
 
2007: High School kid voted "most likely to be on Saturday Night live. 2018: Kid is hired by Saturday Night Live
source: fredericksburg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Seriously? Can nobody figure out how to win a lottery in this country anymore?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Music note, Eling with dove, Marilyn Monroe sugar skull bird, flower, love on inside of lip, wish your heart makes the human world is a mess, mermaid, we're all mad here, cat pineapple, airplane, butterfly, my story isn't over, just keep swimming, fish
source: pcsoweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Have fun storming the castle ... but beware the donut-stealing wolfhounds
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this under-the-stairs relaxation nook area thingee
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Things you believed when you were a kid
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Headline: "Canada is running out of marijuana two days after drug became legal." Only person quoted: "We expected, you know, certain strains might run out...They've got a pretty good infrastructure in place and I'm confident it will work"
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
In a shocking revelation there are things more radioactive than Detroit along the Great Lakes
source: amp.freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Once again, driving your vehicle into a stationary pole will not kill the spider you just saw
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
Video
 
There's only one thing better for pilot than a perfect three point landing. Landing on a runway instead of a highway full of traffic (NSFW language)
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Pokemon Go October Community Day, Bay Area. Let's meet on the 21st, 9:00am at Justin Hermann Plaza Bocce Ball Courts
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Fark you millennials, first it was weddings, then cheese and radio ... now you're coming for my cheap motels
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 20, 2018
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Inside the Saudi campaign to perpetuate their nonsensical Khashoggi cover story--including an operative inside Twitter
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New study says that not exercising is worse for your health than smoking, diabetes, and heart disease
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dwell)
 
 
 
Photoshop this alfresco dining space
source: images.dwell.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Meth in her bra, heroin in her purse, an outstanding warrant ... Florida Woman leads an active lifestyle
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Bolton News)
 
 
 
Parking effort goes really, really, really wrong
source: theboltonnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
What's more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? Certainly not a tree full of monkeys throwing bricks at you
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hudson Valley One)
 
 
 
And now our brave gentry heroically confront the aesthetic menace of McDonald's play spaces
source: hudsonvalleyone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
MH370 crash site spotted on Google Maps is surrounded by illegal loggers high on crystal meth. "Illegal Loggers High on Crystal Meth," a horror movie coming soon to SciFi/CNN
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delaware Online)
 
 
 
For all of you who missed out on the Mega Billions this time around (and that's all of you), there's still a Powerball drawing tonight for a mere half-billion
source: delawareonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Rocker
source: img.fark.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Arizona cancels optional vaccine education program because it hurt the feelings of anti-vaxxer snowflakes
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
City Commissioner: He offered to return the axe and pay for it, so when he tried to run, I shot him. I stood my ground. DA: Nope
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The Saudi arms package, which started at 40,000 new jobs, is now up to a million. Looks like we'll all be working for the arms industry soon
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Freedom From Religion)
 
 
 
Yes it's illegal to throw puppies in the dump but a sheriff's department found the lawbreaker and held a prayer meeting with her, so it's cool
source: ffrf.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
And you thought the lines at the convenience store were long on Friday...batten down the hatches, a Category 5 Lotto storm is heading our way
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DIY Photography)
 
 
 
The 2018 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards finalists have been announced, and are here for your amusement and captioning
source: diyphotography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacobin Magazine)
 
 
 
Oh that's cute. Police officers are cosplaying warriors. They think they're soldiers
source: jacobinmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Maybe Mexico needs to build a wall and get Guatemala to pay for it
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPBS San Diego)
 
 
 
If you're a college student from San Diego and received a meningitis vaccine from Walgreens this month, you may want to get it again
source: kpbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asbury Park Press)
 
 
 
Two bacon, egg and cheese croissants with worm larvae and flies please
source: app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Huge rattlesnake slithers across St. Petersburg golf course. Probably hopes to score a birdie
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop this red-headed dude with a gun
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stamford Advocate)
 
 
 
A little group is in a big fight to reduce suffering among creatures of the urban wild. Let's give Pitter Patter Feline Rescue a round of applause this Caturday
source: stamfordadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Masturbation can be a preventive treatment for prostate problems in later life, but your kid's pediatrician shouldn't be demonstrating techniques with them
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WebMD)
 
 
 
FDA panel approves new drug that is 10 times more powerful than fentanyl
source: webmd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Trump says he has no regrets about praising Congressman for assaulting reporter
source: edition-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Winning the $1 billion Mega Millions jackpot won't make you happier, but it will make you more satisfied, say researchers who don't know what synonyms are
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Police: Skull found in woods not related to Halloween, but it's like 100 years old, and may be cursed or something, so watch out
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
African-American FBI whistleblower who leaked documents stating the FBI's overreach since 9/11 and tactics which amount to racial profiling and minority oppression sentenced to four years
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cornell Daily Sun)
 
 
 
Cornell will divide its Department of Biological Statistics and Computational Biology into two separate departments. Only in biology do you multiply when you divide
source: cornellsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
I'll see your sledge hammer to crack a walnut and raise you a hurricane to crack a peanut
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Arkansas woman wearing cow costume arrested for shoplifting tells officer 'Suck a pink cow udder' Actual. Headline
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Don't eat the foamy deer. No word on Foamy the Squirrel
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 19, 2018
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man fights snakes to survive pitfall. Man, I could never get past those three alligators
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Colorado parents are holding "chickenpox parties" to deliberately infect their children. You can't even make that up
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
I would cut the Gordian knot, but I can't find a knife
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
"It was odd seeing an unrestrained goat in a car today ... but the good thing was, all the human passengers had seat belts on"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Relaxing and paradise, two words one never expects to see in a story about the NYC subway - but this guy's trying
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Judge says teenagers should be breath tested for alcohol and drugs before discos. Also prior to entering fern bars, roller rinks, and time machines
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this toned pose
source: gdb.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
NYC Subway creates haunted house because that's what needed fixing in the transit system
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
If you're injecting vodak into your mouth through your cheek with a syringe, you're drinking it wrong
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
One night in Bangkok could mean 10 years for graffiti tourists
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
And in other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco, is still dead, but may be moving
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
That damned feeling you get when you realize you've been praying in the wrong direction for 37 years
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Mural of two rabbits farking and smoking on side of restaurant has some outraged, others working on photoshop contests
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
Please note: if the getaway vehicle for your daring heist is a school bus, you may need to rethink your budding life of crime
source: pilotonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
♫ Colon, colon, colon. Lo, that colon's stolen. Know where a stolen colon can hide? ♫
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Now that cannabis is legal in Canada, the media embarks on a buzz kill so that users can continue to feel guilty
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fredericksburg)
 
 
 
Parents of the Year arrested for riding a moped with a baby between them. They couldn't get a sidecar?
source: fredericksburg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
One. Billion. Dollars
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Glazed Donut Gail calls cops because black woman was speaking a foreign language
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cowboy and his gal
source: gdb.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Richard Branson claims dyslexics are weird differently
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Smashing pumpkins gets man into trouble at Walmart store. Despite all of his rage he is still just a rat in a cage
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Orlando police extend computer-aided facial hair recognition program developed by Amazon, despite concerns from privacy advocates and goateed evil twins everywhere
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
If your kid is eating roaches from the ash tray, you've got bigger problems
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
If a toilet tank explodes, and sends you to the hospital for foot surgery, are you doing it all wrong?
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
Boobies
 
Latest fashion trend for women is the bralet, as they reject lingerie with in-built scaffolding
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman takes Porsche for service. Checks dashcam after noticing missing fuel. Discovers it was taken out for spin at speeds up to 89mph. Ferris, Cameron, Abe Froman unavailable from comment
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Pope: "Kim Jong-un, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Kim Jong-un: "I think so, Pope, but how are we going to get the alpaca into a tutu?"
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
"Hi, my name is Narc McCopper. I'd like to search you, but you can refuse. Here's my card if you want a copy of my body cam footage, and info on the reverse about how to complain about our encounter today"
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Caption this seal
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Couple visits all six U.S. Disney theme parks in one day. In other news, there are six U.S. Disney theme parks
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Houston museum apologizes for insensitive headline. How could you not know 'Come party with spooks' was offensive to the intelligence community?
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Interview with the girl who pulled the 1,500-year-old sword out of a lake. Here is the Saga
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
What starts with "F" and ends with "uck" and is something you yell when it jumps the curb and smashes over a dozen cars?
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Tesco employee sues for racial discrimination and $40,000 after a coworker farted in his face
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Publican Morning Advertiser)
 
 
 
How has alcohol changed in 10 million years? There is the theory of evolution, but booze science requires actual proof
source: morningadvertiser.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
'Nose Warmers' are all the rage as winter approaches. Like earmuffs, and just as ridiculous looking. Go out and get yours now. (with pic)
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
"Terrifying" doll gets Spotify ad banned. With video that will haunt your dreams AND give you an earworm
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
The Bricklayer 500 surprisingly has nothing to do with Shaquille O'Neal
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Emphysemic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vintage endorsement
source: i.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
School bus driver hauling special needs students commits multiple traffic violations, and would have gotten away with it if people didn't have dash cams these days
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Twenty-year-old Harvard student claims "Period shaming is straight up misogyny." Hopes to pull some strings in order to change the way people talk about menstruation, claims there is nothing shameful about the bodily function. Period
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Tourists who have spent months waiting for their dream vacation at a Mexican resort aren't going to let a few dead bodies ruin cabana time on the beach (WARNING: The video contains scenes some users might find distressing)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Good: After mass shooting in Parkland high school, state passes law allowing officials to confiscate guns from mentally unstable people. Fark: While allowing mentally unstable people to still be able to buy new replacement guns
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
America's pregnant women are dying in U.S. hospitals at faster rates than in any other developed country, and there's no end in sight
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Putin: The sun is setting on America's global domination
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Did he or didn't he? Pompeo denies listening to recording of Khashoggi murder; but Turkish source says he did. Bricktop unavailable for comment
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Federal prosecutors to Roman Catholic Church in Pennsylvania, "Here are your subpoenas. We'll be in touch"
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
It's just like Cinderella, only with a gold grill instead of glass slippers, and an armed robbery instead of a ball
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 18, 2018
(Chron)
 
 
 
Woman caught on camera playing Ding Dong Ditch apparently forgot to tell her friend's 2-year-old the plan
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTZ)
 
 
 
Opposing Vermont political candidates sing kumbaya after debate
source: mynbc5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
If you're going to butt-dial 911, make sure there isn't a warrant for your arrest. You'll embarrass yourself in front of your Walmart coworkers
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State)
 
 
 
Any excuse to use the words "South Carolina soldier sextortion scam" ... Soldiers beware of PlentyofFish and girls sending nudes, especially when they could actually be dudes sitting in prison cells
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Healdsburg artist offers $1000 for his 21-foot, 800-pound hammer back. He thought it was a prank and would turn up somewhere funny, maybe they got hurt lifting it
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
ISIS has taken 700 hostages, including Americans. Promises to execute 10 per day until demands are met
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Officials in Gulf and Bay county Florida decide people haven't suffered enough so they're banning alcohol sales
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Broke as hell? Why not do what this guy did and fly across the country to break into an author's house for treasure. What could go wrong?
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
Not putting a teacup where Granny wanted it? That's a shot in the leg
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Suddenly ... balls in your face
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Man survives fall into mine shaft, kills 3 snakes. Indiana Jones not impressed
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Ah, yes, the old "my surgically-enhanced lips are too large for me to blow into the breathalyzer, officer" trick
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Well, we killed the biggest plant, which was also the biggest organism. I TOLD you we weren't gonna remember to water that thing. Time to get a plastic one
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bzzzzt)
 
 
 
Photoshop this low-capacity electronic thingy
source: luckyretail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Like shooting fish in a barrel. Lethargic, giggling fish that is
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Researchers claim memes cause obesity. Owl:"O'RLY?". Christopher Walken:"This study needs more cowbell." Doge:"Much research. Such study. Wow." Boromir:"One does not simply claim memes cause obesity"
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Why there is no basis to the myth that cannabis cures cancer. In other news, there is a myth that cannabis cures cancer. Still no cure for the Daily Fail
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman playing with her dogs
source: picclickimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"Black man sentenced to 8 years in Miss. prison for marijuana he said was legally obtained in Oregon"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Whale-watchers "in complete awe" over great white shark encounter, with a helpful pic of the shark eating what they were looking for
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Man killed in Trump Tower fire is sued by Trump Organization for $90K in condo fees he didn't pay because he was dead
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Because sometimes Fark just needs to have a Bob Ross thread
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
With Carroll Spinney retiring as Big Bird, just a friendly reminder from 2015 that NASA almost sent Big Bird to his death on the Challenger
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for 4th DUI with .387 BAC. And batshiat crazy mugshot goodness
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Teenagers are becoming obese due to: A) fast food, B) video games, or C) memes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Sex-crazed fish becoming super horny because of huge levels of antidepressants in water supply
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Man made off with five cases of Bud Light in 'textbook' beer theft, police say. Tag is for his selection
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Science gives your little head permission to have sex with your ex. Your big head reminds you why they are your ex
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It's not just Fark that thinks Piers Morgan is an asshat
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It's the mid 90s all over again as Mad Cow Disease emerges on a UK farm
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Obviously these idiots who got themselves wedged in the most ridiculous places have not met the slatted wooden chair yet
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this good boy
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"Now how did these pills get into the Halloween parade candy"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
By the time you get done reading this article, subby will have ignored four telemarketing calls for numbers he did not know. Subby's mom's voice will probably be on the other end of three of them, but that's his cross to bear
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Finally, some truth in advertising: "Nebraska: It's not for everyone"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Smarter than the average bear
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
There's a rare purple flower in India that only blooms every 12 years, and it just did. So I guess we can expect a new Batman any day now
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
UK police spent £18,000 and sent more than 100 officers to 45-hour stand-off with one man who was MOONING them from rooftop, no word if elderberries were involved
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Tornado Alley shifting eastward to where there are more trailer parks to destroy
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
Man orders Subway sandwich, then robs the place. Comes back because he forgot his sandwich. Eat fresh
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Grand Theft Auto 'cheats' homes raided. Suspects reportedly fled the scene, stole a car, drove into oncoming traffic, then pulled into a spray shop to lose their 2 star wanted level
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Post and Courier)
 
 
 
Divers swim through 90 feet of raw sewage to unclog giant, hairy fatberg. By comparison, how's your day going?
source: postandcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Gardner arrested for plant thefts
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Designers develop human "horse blinders" to keep open office workers from being distracted. Will work on cubicle salt lick stone installation next
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 702: "Toys in the Attic". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 17, 2018
(CTV News)
 
 
 
With today being Day 1 for legal recreational cannabis, Winterpeg snags the first traffic ticket for illegal consumption in a vehicle @ $672
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Bowling alley worker attacked by a customer and hit in the head with a bowling ball. Fortunately, with the help of emergency crews his life was spared
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Mega Millions hits record high of $900 million, enough to make someone an instant Republican
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: Cops eat donuts after finding stolen Krispy Kreme truck
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
People want England defender Harry Maguire riding a unicorn to be on new £50 note. Fark: 16,000 people. TotalFark: More than Margaret Thatcher
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
If you've been putting hats on sharks, the St. Johns County parks and rec department would like you to stop (warning: upsetting image)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Hmmm, pay 10 years and get your loans forgiven or stay under 270 days late and carry your loans forever. Who's the sucker now?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Not a repeat from this morning: white woman calls 911 on black kids, this time for participating in a "stop the violence" march. Irony tag peacefully surrenders to authorities
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Not news: Man tricks women into sex. More interesting: By posing as an agent for a well-known porn production company. Fark: One of the women and a private eye for the porn company conduct a vigilante sting operation against him
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme - Things you'll never see on Sesame Street
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Sure it was a simple bike"'crash" that killed a U.S. airman who saw top secret NASA photos of alien structures on the moon. SURE, seems likely (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
UK joins Canada and USA behind the bike sheds as cannabis to be available on the NHS from 1st Nov
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Successful burglars make sure to get in and out fast. Then there's this guy
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
I'm not saying that we're not looking hard enough for aliens, but we're not looking hard enough for aliens
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Treasury official charged with leaking documents. ""The files were saved to...sub-folders [like] 'Debacle\Emails\Asshat," the complaint stated, but the defendant "is not known to be involved in any official FinCEN project...bearing these code names". Asshat trifecta in play
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Apartment Patty defends her actions, says she was just following condo rules about not allowing strangers in the building while propping the door open for her dog
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
News: Ice cream truck driver stalked young girls. Fark: He drove the "Mr Ding-a-Ling" truck
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iceland Review)
 
 
 
Thor's hammer found in Iceland. Fark: By some guy whose middle name is Thor
source: icelandreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Work)
 
 
 
Photoshop this paddy wagon
source: hoianguidedtours.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Gas-trailing meteor shower will hit its peak October 21, expected to make the sky smell very bad
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Learn the difference between asshole, asshat, and assclown... before your head assplodes
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Town OKs steep fines for parking near 'The Goonies' house. Second offense results in your hand shoved in a blender
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
This is just like Romeo and Juliet, if it had been Romeo who faked his own death rather than Juliet, and he'd done it as an insurance scam rather than for love...and never mentioned it to Juliet, but otherwise, exactly the same
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Scientists create climate model to show what would happen if the Earth's rotation flipped. TL;DR: Water would go nuts, the climate would completely change, Lois Lane would come back to life
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Legal weed in Canada creates conundrum on how cops will detect baked driving. This helpful RCMP educational video explains how they will deal with things
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
What do you do when you forget your toothbrush? Let your pet rat clean your teeth, of course
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Were you disappointed to find out that Girl Scout Cookies weren't made out of Girl Scouts? Well, try these Grandparent Cookies
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Added to the list of things black people aren't allowed to do: watch their children play soccer (w/video)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
"A very large and angry drag queen opened the door of the vehicle and beat the s*** out of my attempted rapist. She and her other drag friends helped dress and care for me while the police arrived. I was saved by a group of guardian drag queens"
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man follows woman from store to gas station, threatens her with hammer. No word if he hurt 'em or broke it down
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Dude caught in online child sex sting said he only showed up because he suspected it was a sting and thought it would be "cool to see it in action." Now he can check both that and "national laughing stock" off his bucket list
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
♪ It's Prayagraj not Allahabad, it's Prayagraj not Allalahabad, why did Allalahbad get the screws? That's nobody's business but the Hindus ♪
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
The teal pumpkin will signal to trick-or-treaters that your house is distributing plastic toys instead of candy this year because of food allergy concerns, is also a conveniently bright target for egging
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Post)
 
 
 
Witches now outnumber Presbyterians in the U.S. "No longer is witchcraft and paganism satanic and demonic, it's a 'pre-Christian tradition' that promotes 'free thought' and 'understanding of earth and nature.'"
source: christianpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Сбросить часы
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Scientists cannot explain why cosmic rays burst from Antarctica. And then the murders began
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Wendy's worker who put 'Chubby' on customer receipt fired
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop whatever the heck is going on here
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
Two-week-old puppy gets head stuck in gate, gets unstuck with police help just in time to enjoy his Woofday Wetnose Wednesday #3
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Woodinville Weekly)
 
 
 
It's that most wonderful time of the year: "Older female distracted store clerk while younger male stuffed Christmas ornaments down pants and exited store"
source: nwnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Shirting all over the place
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Nevada pimp to stay on ballot, despite being dead
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
D.A.R.E. fights opioid crisis with new lesson plans, which will be rolled up and smoked by students
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Police looking for 4 black males in a Hyundai Elantra arrest woman waiting for Applebee's interview. Guess which attribute she matched
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Lard Tunderin Jaysus, it's 'bout time fer dat der weed
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
If you're planning an international cycling tour that includes the world's largest prison colony nation, you might want to keep a close eye on your bike. Just sayin'
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Albania's graveyard of Soviet-era MiGs. In other news, hopes increase for Lord of War sequel
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Even in retirement, George W Bush is finding things to bomb
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATV Little Rock)
 
 
 
At least 12 dead in France's worst flooding in more than a century. France submerges
source: katv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
A $50 tip is pretty great for a waitress to receive, especially when she parlays it into $70,000 lottery win
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
After a lengthy Baseball career, WHO considering global health emergency over DRC Ebola outbreak. WHAT still on second base
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"Hello 911? there's been a plane crash in my neighborhood. What? It's just a Halloween decoration? OK, thanks." *hangs up*
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 16, 2018
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Spike in Scotland wintertime deaths has many people saying... well, we don't actually know what they're saying because of the impenetrable accent, but they sound a bit peeved
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heavy)
 
 
 
YouTube is down. EVERYBODY PANIC and use Vimeo
source: heavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Crocheter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this knit wit
source: i.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Woman sues bed supplier after being 'catapulted' during sex and ending up paralyzed
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
First of all, what kind of idiot wears $150,000 worth of jewelry to a strip club?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Ukrainian pilot: "Da, velcome to my Su-27UB. Just please do not push button marked 'авария.'" US Pilot: "Why? What's that do?"
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Some people seem to have a problem with Natural Light's new 77 pack
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NRK (Norway))
 
 
 
Photoshop this evacuating couple
source: gfx.nrk.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
For sale: voter registration records for thirty five million Americans. Includes full name, phone numbers, physical addresses, voting history, and affiliation. For amusement purposes only. $42,200
source: zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Giant nose stolen off porch. Police are looking for a woman in a tunic and a butler robot holding a silver ball
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Deputies searching for fugitive can't find him. His girlfriend hasn't seen him in days, she says. Her four year old, however, shows the deputies where he is - hiding in an electrical closet
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Coffee rust threatens Latin American crop. 150 years ago, it wiped out an empire, presumably due to fatigue and caffeine withdrawal
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Did NYPD detain any violent right-wing thugs after street brawl? Nein. Might there still be arrests? Nine
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Jack Dorsey wants you to know that you should always feel free to question Twitter. He's never going to actually fix anything, mind you, but questions? Ask away
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Sim City alien invasion, 8 year olds and archaeology, and Pilsner Totoro. Enjoy your Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-09-30 to Sat 2018-10-06
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
Man breaks into car wash, gains access to vacuums, shockingly does not go on a vacuuming spree
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Combined MegaMillions, Powerball jackpots now equal almost 1 BILLION dollars. Whoever wins needs to have the BEST. FARK .PARTY. EVAR
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Please note: when travelling by air, check your luggage when possible, but remember that roasted pig heads go in the overhead compartment to avoid being drooled on by customs dogs
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Iowa's serial dine and dasher busted at an Applebee's. This has to double suck for him, I mean not only did he get caught, but he got caught at Applebee's. With all his options he could have gone somewhere good like IHOP or Chili's
source: 97x.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Helmet cam shows skier barely escaping avalanche. Dumbass then decides to whoop loudly
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Beaver Bridge has a 10-ton weight limit. 35-ton bus attempts to drive across. With bridge-sagging video
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Watch out US Navy, Iran and its arsenal of Photoshop missiles can hit ANY ship in the Strait of Hormuz if Washington tries to strangle Tehran's oil exports (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Brave deputies enter home uninvited, demand man stop filming him. In. His. Own. Home. Fark: It is not illegal in Mississippi to film a police officer
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The goalkeeper turned to the crowd behind his goal and shouted "that's my car being towed", which only resulted in chants of "Preston move your car, Preston, Preston move your car"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Don't ride your motorized wheelchair up the escalator, even if the elevator isn't working. That goes double if the elevator is working
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Utah appeals court says if your ex shacks up with someone else, you may not have to pay alimony
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Giving pot brownies to classmates. New and gross: Giving cookies made with grandma's ashes to classmates
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Man who booby-trapped his backdoor with a shotgun shot himself when he opened the door to feed some squirrels. Fark: Epic pic of warning sign with camera, lights and grammar error on his property
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop John Paul Jones and this really, really large instrument
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Ever have doubts about the career you've chosen? Flying off to Africa and killing a bunch of baboons may just be a desperate cry for help
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
New York City goes an entire weekend without a single shooting for the first time in decades
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press-Enterprise (So. Cal))
 
 
 
1999: Guilty. 2018: Yeah, my bad
source: pe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The bugpocalypse has begun
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
The world is not ready for another pandemic
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man dies in freak Bronx subway escalator accident. In other news, there's a working subway escalator in the Bronx
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Naked shark tank swimmer had assaulted someone at Medieval Times hours before skinny dipping
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Man dies from extremely rare disease after eating squirrel brains. Relax, it wasn't Drew
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Looks like my plans fell through, Oh Lord, flattened in Lodi again
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Another day, another child's toy with a phone number that reaches a sex line
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 15, 2018
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Analysis of ancient rocks finds earliest ever animal fossil is a 660-million-year-old sponge that reportedly lived in a 660-million-year-old pineapple under the sea
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maxim Magazine)
 
 
 
Study says more sex protects men from heart attacks - though the number of strokes goes way up
source: maxim.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Macedonian parliament to vote on country name change, after low turnout in referendum leaves many to suspect they're just a bunch of Macedonian nuts
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Government announces Canada's national parks will be a lot greener soon
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this astronaut
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
On tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) the song titles will either contain 'walk' and/or 'run' or will concern walking and/or running. Which means some 'run' songs won't concern running on foot
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Paul Allen blue screens
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNOE 8 Monroe)
 
 
 
If you have child porn as a slideshow on your desktop, you may want to go ahead and put your fire extinguisher outside your door for your building's annual inspection
source: knoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
They don't call them "Satan's Winds" for nothing
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hipsters shirt
source: static.boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Saudis ready to admit they beat a journalist to death in their embassy in Turkey. Ike Turner unavailable for comment
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Apartment Patty gets fired for being Apartment Patty
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Air Force Times)
 
 
 
Air Force: Hurricane damage to Tyndall F-22s 'less than we feared,' but unknown how many will fly again
source: airforcetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Because Google is American and we were hacked, we're suing you in California court = some Portuguese soccer club. Bonus: leaked documents show the club spent a large sum of money on a witch doctor from Guinea-Bissau to boost the team's performances
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Drunk species of pigeon is named "bird of the year." Unknown if they subscribe to TotalFark
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Pretty much the only house left standing undamaged along the shoreline in Mexico Beach, FL is the one that the owners said "hey, we're building this on a beachfront in Florida, let's build it to withstand the strongest hurricane imaginable"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man ate Tide Pod then destroyed $7,500 of hospital equipment. That ought to clean him out
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Be the change you want to see in the world. However, that shouldn't include robbing Coinstar machines
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
A shortage of beer might not strike you as the most pressing life-or-death impact of global climate change, given the rising sea levels, stronger hurricanes, and the wrath of suddenly sober FARKers
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Dead ceiling babies is a great band name, but not a good storage method if you are a funeral home
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Squirrel with very large breasts spotted at zoo
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
No agency responsible for feral Cannon Beach rabbits, city says. To be fair, no government employee is trained to deal with a foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent armed with a five-pounder and grape shot
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
You are now free to expose yourself about the cabin
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Naked man decides to swim the full length of a shark tank because what could possibly go wrong? Amazingly, nothing did go wrong
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Trump says "rogue killers" may be behind Khashoggi murder. Well, if they're rogues, you wouldn't expect them to give up backstab damage and be in the front, now would you?
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Protip: If you plan on looting after a natural disaster, don't shout, "I'm Looting" while attempting to steal a police car like Florida Man here
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Pretty much every culture on Earth has some version of a vampire myth. Chinese folklore has the Jiang shi, Russian villagers in the Middle Ages often drove stakes into the bodies of suspected vampires upon burial to keep them from rising again
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Navy sailor arrested after a Friday night incident involving alcohol, narcotics, nudity, and assault on a law enforcement officer at Busch Gardens
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Lotto player accidentally buys two tickets with his sacred numbers. Guess what happens
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
School cancels "Best Bum" competition after several parents complain
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bird
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Evacuee from Hurricane Michael spots uncle's H-E-L-P message spelled out in downed trees on satellite map. Moves on to find The Minnow
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
James Hewitt expecting grandchild (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Got a spare $2 million? Marie Antoinette's necklaces up for auction. May need some repair. Apparently, at some point they didn't fit her quite right
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Must be some damn good beer
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
What has 10 stomachs, 32 brains and 18 testicles? Conjoined duotrigintuplets? Nope. A bucket of Nopes
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Rats are taking over Skid Row. Stephen Pearcy and Sebastian Bach unavailable for comment
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
One choreographer's dance is another persons sexual battery
source: dancemagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
After hitting a brick wall and destroying a guide tower, the 737 "crossed the subcontinent and headed out over the Indian Ocean, the pilot apparently unaware that the plane had a gash along its belly and mesh fencing wrapped around the landing gear"
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a bus on the 405. It crashes through the center divider into oncoming traffic. What do you do? What do you do?
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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