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Sun October 07, 2018
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Security detail for Education Secretary Betsy DeVos will run $7.7 million. School children immediately ask if that's more than $1,000
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You can't call Mormons "Mormons" anymore. How did you ever think that was OK to do in the first place?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
According to new documents, BAASS conducted secret investigation on Skinwalker Ranch in Utah, which was apparently a testing area for unexplained phenomena. DAT BAASS (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
See? Running in marathons is really bad for your health and could kill you
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Well, looks like it's back to burning clean coal
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sculpture
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
You'd think after the first person died they'd have thrown the rest of the sandwich away
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
And in other news, there are apparently still airlines stupid enough to serve nuts on flights
source: goodhousekeeping.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zero Hedge)
 
 
 
THIS is the real decline of America. One in three people eat fast food every day, while the average high schooler spends 6 hours a day on the phone and computer. Scary tag has diabeetus and is only 21
source: zerohedge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Running out of ammo in the middle of your crime spree? Meh, just a quick stop in at Walmart fixes that
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sticky situation
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Hey, not to alarm anyone in the Gulf Coast area, but you might want to start planning in case someone named 'Michael' decides to stop by in the coming week
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Spider in a box of bananas. New hotness: Case of Pepsi containing a king cobra
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Frodo arrested after lengthy police chase in Texas
source: bigcountryhomepage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
One Wedding and Twenty Funerals
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Community seems to not notice thieves stealing a 20-ton lead roof from the local church
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Everything you want to teach your children about consent can come from the unlikeliest of sources: Dr. Seuss's classic "Green Eggs and Ham." YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTENED, SAM I AM
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
If you're an exiled Saudi journalist and fierce critic of the Crown Prince, you should probably steer clear of Saudi consulates
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
What part of 'bike path' did you fail to understand, idiotdriver?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Ever find money in the dryer after washing your clothes? This is kind of like that, only a million times better
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Glutton)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Gilded Age Gobbler
source: spyhollywood.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Sports mishaps. Share stories of sports mishaps you were directly involved in or witnessed in person (not on TV)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
MacArthur Foundation announces 25 new "Genius" fellowships. As expected, none of the grants went to anyone currently in Washington, D.C
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Elon Musk will walk door to door in Flint to install lead filters
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 06, 2018
(Imgur)
 
 
 
This Amazon question is answered by one of our brave service members. Semper Fi, son. Semper Fi
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Here's how artist Banksy pulled off his shredded art at auction caper. Pure genius (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Soldier whose house was looted while he was deployed rescuing people during Hurricane Florence thanks well-wishers for generous monetary donations ... and promptly gives most of it away to help others. Hero tag earned
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wedding
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami New Times)
 
 
 
Guard who boiled an inmate to death becomes cop who loses evidence, crashes patrol car, has sex on the job, faces termination. Florida: And is also a finalist for Officer of the Year
source: miaminewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Hey, dumbass, when the Disney employee tells you to move for the parade, you move
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Forget about looking in the Cambodian jungle for Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 that's been missing for like FOREVER, there's a second plane that crashed and has been found with the whole cast of Gilligan's Island aboard (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Welcome to San Francisco. While you're visiting, do us a favor and use this new app to report any feces, used needles, or trash you may come across on our streets. We'd do it ourselves, but frankly we don't much notice it anymore. Thanks
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
One of the best portrait artists in the world will draw yours for free. Contact info in article
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'Poop cult' leader cited by FTC for claiming her cabbage juice could reverse cancer and regrow limbs defends herself after one follower died, but will apparently not put "poop cult leader" on her résumé now
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these dancers
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Two baseball tickets: $41, one professional baseball: $15, meeting Manny Machado: priceless
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
VIEWER ADVISORY: Porsche 356 abuse. DISCLAIMER: No Porsche 356s were harmed in the making of this CCTV video
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Oregon man writes on Facebook "Yay, not going to die" as he's passing cars in a no passing zone. Guess what happens next?
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BNQT)
 
 
 
Photoshop is getting so realistic, it's even fooling weight scales these days
source: bnqt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reader's Digest)
 
 
 
Since when did Reader's Digest get so dang frisky? Sheesh, grandma, put down the porn mag in the checkout counter at the grocery store, will ya?
source: rd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Enjoy your iPods, remote controls, checks, cords, and pay phones while they last. They'll all be gone by the year 2030
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Paging Alanis Morissette ... paging Alanis Morissette ... please pick up the white courtesy phone
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Air Force)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crew
source: march.afrc.af.mil   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
Look, it's bad enough you think you need to repopulate the planet with your precious offspring, but stop telling the rest of us when and where we can eat out, m'kay?
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kearney Hub)
 
 
 
Kittens make everything better on Caturday
source: kearneyhub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
There's being fascinated with police, and then there's being 'fascinated with police'
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Good dog saves her family from fire ... "Who's a good girl?" ... she is
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Particle Man, Particle Man; Particle Man hates Misogyny, man
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Library book returned 84 years overdue, maximum $3 fine waived
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Tired of "slutty cat", "slutty clown", and "slutty Handmaid's Tale" costumes? Go in style this Halloween with this Haunted Mansion "Tightrope Girl" dress
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Leader Online)
 
 
 
I shot one little kid and my chief got scared, he said "You're fired but they need part-time cops in Bellaire"
source: timesleaderonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Hickey King back in trouble
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Computers at Georgia driver services conveniently crash all day today, just before the last day for voter registration. Oops, our bad
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Police rescue British man held in a shed 40 years as a slave. The good news? He now has the experience necessary to apply for a job with Amazon
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Diego Reader)
 
 
 
Homeowner gathers concrete evidence that friendly neighborhood industrial quarry passed air-quality regulations because they got tested at known down-times, cementing his troublemaker reputation
source: sandiegoreader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 05, 2018
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
After installing multiple flashing lights, do not enter signs, rumble strips, bollards back at the intersection, and painting the tracks red, transit officials hope drop down barriers will finally keep cars from driving into the streetcar tunnel
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Another robber forgets you should never take selfies with the phone you just stole
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Art Newspaper)
 
 
 
Million-dollar Banksy painting shredded as auction ends and...now it's worth more?
source: theartnewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
The leader of Interpol has gone missing. Police on the lookout for a woman in a red trench coat
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
San Diego City Council's reign of proclamation terror has ended. Concerned citizens can now present their well-reasoned and completely hinged objections and comments on "In-N-Out Burger Day"
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Protip: if you are going to hire a hitman to kill your ex-boyfriend, it might not be best to communicate the particulars over the online dating app Plenty of Fish
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Wave Magnet)
 
 
 
Photoshop this signal grabber
source: ahsystems.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
New food designed for cows has been developed in an effort to thwart climate change caused by cow farts
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Buzzfeed investigation finds Amazon's "Today's Deals" page is full of fake deals. You can get more stories like this if you sign up for TotalFark, which was recently reduced 97.50% from $200 to $5 per month
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Voice)
 
 
 
Teenage girl decides it is a good idea to put on a sweatshirt while driving on a two-lane road. What could go wrong
source: northernhighlands.dailyvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Rhode Island gubernatorial candidate arrested with what police said was 48 pounds of illegal pot. Now say it was just 48 ounces
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Magic mushrooms may save the world's bees, and not just by opening tiny little doors into time and space
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Object blows a hole in New Jersey home, bounces around awhile then leaves
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Upset with your boyfriend? Why not set his apartment building on fire and displace 130 of his neighbors from their homes?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Hundreds of tons of human body parts and surgical waste are being stockpiled in the UK, totally not for the upcoming Brexit/zombie infestation
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: What's on TV in Hell
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Okay, which Australian Farkers messed with the New Zealand's bird of the year poll?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
NewsFlash
 
In the shooting of a black teenager, a cop is found... wait, this can't be right
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
Kindergarten gun raffle
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMBF Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Russia claims US running secret bio weapons lab in Georgia, which may explain why the UGA cheerleaders have been seen grazing more on the sidelines at recent football games
source: wmbfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Man posts Florida sign in his Florida gas station asking Florida people not to microwave their Florida urine before taking their Florida drug tests. FLORIDA
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KY3 Springfield)
 
 
 
Three suffer minor injuries on roller coaster, with an obvious name
source: ky3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Cool: Ukrainian power company opens a new solar power plant. Fark: In Chernobyl, literally across the street from the infamous melted-down nuclear reactor
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Disney employee narrowly escapes becoming another captured soul of nightmarish attraction
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Just... how?
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
There's bold, and there's running a brothel across the street from the county courthouse
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest Indiana Times)
 
 
 
"Sir, why are you recording me?" "Because I can?" "No, you can't. Not of me. No, you can't." "Well, I can. This is a public street and, by the way, you're live on YouTube right now." (Skip to 3:00)
source: nwitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Driver spots cow - in back seat of pickup - enjoying ride down Ohio highway, posts mooooving video
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Police await not so swanky any more turd polished diamond ring from Irish diamond geezer who gobbled it down at a Turkish diamond jewellers
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Customers rally to save business hit by chicken theft, as it turns out that some people really do give a cluck
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military Times)
 
 
 
Much like the rest of America, a staggering number of our troops are also fat and tired
source: militarytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Man invites three women to his French Quarter hotel room at 3:15 a.m. What could possibly go wrong?
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Not to worry anyone, but London may be sinking
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Meth. Never once. With mugshots. Can you spot the difference?
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Mom accused of bringing teenage son on burglaries
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(France 24)
 
 
 
There's a mamba no. 5 joke in here somewhere
source: france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Airplane isn't afraid to advertise its love of cocks
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Climate scientists: We're f*cked
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space)
 
 
 
Photoshop Asteroid Ryugu
source: img.purch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
71 Year old Bonanno crime family associate shot in McDonald's drive through waiting for his medium coffee. These clowns are a lot less classy than Francis Ford Coppola would have you believe
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Hope you know what Florida Man was doing this week, and where not to buy British breakfast cereal - it's the Fark Weird News Quiz Sept. 23-29, Kid Recipes Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
A rock that was used as a doorstop for decades at a Michigan farm has been identified as a meteorite valued at about $100,000
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
And the winners of the 2018 Nobel Peace Prize are...
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Pick your pizza toppings from the hepatitis column: A) ☐, B) ☐, C) ☐
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
JFK Airport overhaul to cost $13B, with construction on the $22B project set to begin in 2020 and be completed at a cost of $39B before change orders, lawsuits, and renaming after a huffy Andrew Cuomo realizes it's named after his ex-wife's uncle
source: ny.curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
MMA fighter told he was on 'do not fly list' and proves them right, when he attacks another passenger, in retaliation. Fark: Not Conor McGreggor
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Five people injured in a shooting outside a Pennsylvania dollar store. Community leaders want change
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
You know that feeling you get when your low fuel light comes on and you're in the middle of nowhere? Well what about when you are about 30,000' in the air?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Driving (Canada))
 
 
 
We is headin' for bear on I80
source: driving.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Immigrations & Customs)
 
 
 
When trying to sell 7,000 illegally obtained Xanax pills, it's best to not post it all over social media
source: ice.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Listen. Eight-year-old girls walking in ponds and finding swords is no basis for a system of archaeology
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Boobies or Bacon. It's your call
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 04, 2018
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Handcuffed man steals probation department vehicle to escape arrest. Learns bystanders don't like to help a man in handcuffs
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
"During the melee, a bystander is seen watching the attack and sipping from a fountain drink before walking away." (with guilty-of-stealing-my-heart mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
A giant teddy bear tries to rush the gates at Sheppard Air Force Base
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Jack Dorsey continues to make great strides in cleaning up the cesspool that is Twitter, declaring that they have deleted nearly one tenth of 100 percent of all fake accounts that interfered with the last election
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Your annual reminder of the charming Christmastime Dutch tradition of "Zwarte Piet" that some people apparently have a problem with
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
School school elects elects homecoming homecoming king king and and queen queen
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Could there be a copycat cayenne a-salter? Police say that's the rub
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Counterfeit cash call at Waffle House ends in shots fired, officers hurt. Obvious tag decides to go to Denny's
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Runoff)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flood control
source: capecentralhigh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Coast Guard seizes 11 tons of cocaine from smugglers, says it's a big blow to organized crime
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
If you can't train a dog to fetch a duck by the time you are 79 years old, don't except any sympathy when they find you in the mud, up to your neck because you had to fetch it yourself
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
You know the beehive in your wall is huge when the beekeeper can see it through bricks using heat-vision
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Birds go on drunken bender before Viking game. Philly fans, obviously
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Russia's first sex robot brothel opens in Moscow offering dolls who 'talk dirty' and come with 'temperature controlled orifices'
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Snowbird season is coming. So is the FHP with a $161 ticket for driving slow in the left lane in Canada
source: 98rock.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Least popular woman at parties busted for taking photos of corpses at her funeral home job and showing them on social media. Stewart admitted to showing the pictures to her friends to "gross them out"
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Barricades are being erected around the U.S. Capitol building ahead of tomorrow's Kavanaugh vote
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Elementary school teacher arrested for snorting drugs in class. Difficulty: Again
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sven Golly)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hypnotist
source: allstarsents.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The US hands down seven indictments against Russian spies who attempted to steal nuclear data
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Photos of how much legal pot you can take on domestic flights in Canada - although I'd put it in a bag or something
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Title and caption these instructions
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Nobody puts baby in a corner, or Shetland in a box
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
In Germany, you can paddle your own pumpkin
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Slumped over in your patrol car with a BAC of 0.22 at 1:40 PM is no way to be found. Especially if you are a rookie patrolman still in your probationary period
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Activities at the liquor store include: 1) Shoppers browsing the wine selection, 2) Clerks re-stocking shelves, and 3) Women reenacting a "Dirty Dancing" scene
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Berlin's KitKatClub is famous for its kinky, sex-on-the dance floor, anything-goes techno parties that draw visitors from around the world. It will now be famous for giving everyone meningitis
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pile)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stockpile
source: wresources.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
"I've thought of a foolproof way to smuggle pot to the U.S....I'll mail it." - said one lazy-ass Canadian
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
Using a computer chip smaller than a grain of rice to hack Apple is very on brand for China
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
It started with a routine fender bender. It morphed into an attempted extortion, a kidnapping, a ransom, and finally a chase involving police officers. The Aristocrats
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Preparing to caddy for the Dalai Lama, man drives golf cart into Buddhist temple doors. Big hitter, the lama
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Protip: Genuine US currency isn't typically labelled 'Made in China'
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
There's no chance the disability fraud investigators would come across that video you're in. On the internet. To promote your new company. Or that other video Seattle uses to promote tourism
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Father of officer whose police car and service weapon were stolen by prostitute he was about to hire when he went to an ATM: "You've got to be farking kidding me"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Not news: Hurricane prompts flood warnings and evacuations. Fark: In Arizona
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
46 pounds of weed and mushrooms found by Police K-9 Officer Bear. Police have made one arrest and Bear has been listening to "Atom Heart Mother" for three hours now
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago now has a masked gunman killing people at random
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
So it turns out, mailing suspicious substances to the Pentagon will get you proper farked, proper fast
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
There is quitting without notice. Then there is burning all bridges. But dropping a truck load of mail on the side of the road and walking away from your job at the post office is entirely different
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Local news reporter captures footage of a dog in a blue and black dress
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
255 dogs rescued from illegal puppy mills. Rescuers say they only received one byte
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 700: "What I Did On My Summer Vacation". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 03, 2018
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"Okay, lady, this is a stickup. No funny stuff; I've got pliers and I know how to use them"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
♫ Who lives in a jack-o-lantern under the sea ... ♫
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Canada revokes Myanmar leader's honorary citizenship over Rohingya genocide, in move that probably involves the forcible removal of a moose somehow
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Wanna fly with your mini horse? Fly Alaska
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Active shooter incident reported in Florence, South Carolina -- seven law enforcement officers have been shot [Update: one has died, suspect in custody]
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Smash-and-grab thief makes off with nearly 60 bottles of alcohol. Police asking for tips, such as the location of the next Fark party
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ninety-year-old murderer forgets to remove Fitbit from victim... the key piece of evidence showing exact time of death
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this diver
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Swedish road covered in herring after elk accident. Bork Bork Bork
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Who knew an adult hotel with a 24-hour Nazi-themed orgy room dedicated to Hitler would spark OUTRAGE. Sure, too much red and black colors everywhere ... but still (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Substance sent to Pentagon was castor seeds, not ricin. Pentagon also received lovely flowerpot with blooming Lily of the Valley
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Utah football fans find $1,060 destroyed in shredder, 2-year-old is lead suspect
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida woman arrested for throwing spices at elementary school students is charged with assault and pepper
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Spanish cookie brand partners with successful Facebook page that basically makes money by reposting and... well, long story short, it somehow resulted in this Pink Hitler Minion
source: memechampion.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"The concerned families said they were forced to stay indoors to avoid the barely-dressed women dancing on the ship's deck"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hey Wisconsin - if you wouldn't drink so damn much, you wouldn't have to google "light colored poop" all the time. Hey Utah - start practicing birth control with your 8 wives. Hey Maine - you seem to have AIDS
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Alphabet)
 
 
 
This Photoshop contest is brought to you by the letter L
source: melbournechapter.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Hasbro announces poop themed Play-Doh set. Back in subby's childhood we had no fancy Play-Doh poop to play with, we had to make our own
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Fragile"? Forget it, that must mean something in Italian
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fatal Selfie Incident is now an official category for cause of death, and is surely the name of a band somewhere
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New York Post headline writer, take a bow, you deserve it
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
The WHO Sell Out, endorse traditional Chinese medicine. I Can't Explain why My Generation would fall for this, but I expect it will be A Legal Matter if you Substitute "TCM" for real medicine and The Kids Aren't Alright
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
London Bridge may not be falling down but San Francisco's Millennium Tower sure is. And guess who's going to pay for it
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
If you're going to meet another man on the Adam2Adam app, make sure it's in a private location. Not on one of the biggest college campuses in the state. Especially if you're a dean of students
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
The reason why it costs so much to raise a child is because your snowflake NEEDS to have a farting-unicorn-themed party, complete with jumpys, full catering, and whatever kind of creepy anime centaur clown that other thing is
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Police think there might be a link between a man who was at the scene of six different fires spanning 17 years, but it still "remains a mystery"
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Prominent Chinese movie star reappears after three-month disappearance, enthusiastically praises the good policies of the Party and the State and entreats young men to Join the Navy
source: news.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
A.I. now building a better Waifu
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Chicago officer on trial for murder: The video doesn't show my perspective. From where I was standing there was no way I could know that someone with a knife gets closer if you walk towards them
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Daughter bullied at school? Do you" 1. Call the principal and have a discussion, 2. Contact the bullies' parents, or 3. Wait in the parking lot with cayenne pepper and throw it in the bullies' faces?
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 29 Charlottesville)
 
 
 
Sir, do you know why I pulled your scooter over?
source: nbc29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Surviving for a week on nothing but ketchup packets and alcohol is something you might do if you're (a) a survivor of a plane crash in a remote area, (b) following a fad diet from the Internet, (c) a fraternity pledge at the University of Michigan
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Foulmouthed parrot asks woman to 'show us your tits'... and he's not talking about a small Eurasian songbird
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Say what you will about Generation Z, they are far more politically savvy than their elders
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsOK)
 
 
 
Man shoots 7-point buck a day early, gets hunted down by game wardens. Should have waited for the multiplier to kick in
source: newsok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Sneaking booze and drugs into a movie theater via a sippy cup is no way to go through life, mom
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Photoshop this three-wheeling thrillseeker
source: cdn-images-1.medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Vietnam vet helps fellow vet by taking the dog for walkies just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Mum makes an attempt at a geode crystal cake for 6-year-old son but bakes a 'sparkly vagina' cake instead. Son still happy
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
The case that's a gift to headline writers: 'Court documents detail another woman's claim of inappropriate touching, kissing during exam by Dr. Dick'
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
You'd think a police officer would know better than to send his wife divorce papers downloaded from the internet with a forged signature of a judge who doesn't exist. Then again, this is Arkansas
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delaware Online)
 
 
 
Man cleared of charges of striking police horse, claims he's only pawn in game of life
source: delawareonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Police arrest several white supremacists and charge them with rioting and inciting violence. Fark: A year later
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Azusa Pacific University: We're lifting our ban on LGBTQ students. Nah, just kidding
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Someone is playing Central Indonesia in Sim City and decided to turn on all the disasters. Alien invasion expected next
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you visit New Zealand and Customs demand you hand over your precious phone and password, you better hand it over or you'll be fined $3,200. They needs it. The precious password
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Zoo opens its ambitious new £60,000 penguin exhibit, populated exclusively by six plastic penguins
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Pro tip: It's probably not a good idea to use a stolen credit card to pay your court fines. Just saying
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
If you live in the USA, you will be getting a text from your president today
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISN Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Fed up with pediatric cancer, nurse decides it's time to beat the shiat out of it
source: wisn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 02, 2018
(SFGate)
 
 
 
If you tossed your baby into a Yellowstone geyser in the 1930s, park officials found the pacifier
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Get ready for another EpiPen $hortage in January
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Council boss decides Grenfell Tower fire survivors have been farked enough, decides to fark herself instead (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Man accused of stealing almost a half a million dollars, spending it on strippers and hockey tickets. What's his Fark handle? With "Yeah, I did" mug shot
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Lobster Rock saved by local businessmen. No word if they also saved 52 Bs
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guns)
 
 
 
Photoshop this iron tosser
source: whywetrain.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
'Sexy Old Fart' who gained Internet fame after Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon passes away
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Let's play Halloween article BINGO! 👻
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
Video
 
Third time is not a charm. 'Bad Luck Bandit' smacked in head with own brick after it bounces off restaurant's bulletproof glass
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Clearfield County asks if you recognize the dogs barking in this recording and if you do, please tell them to stop screwing around with your Ham radio when you aren't around
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
All three people in car explosion knew each other, police say. Of course, at the last moment, something happened to tear them apart
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
US Army soldier in Alaska critically injured by A: Falling? B: Bear? or C: Falling bear?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
What's that? Oh nothing, just Air Force One floating down the Potomac River
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Wedding announcement: Captain America (26) of Pekin, IL to wed Amanda Gosnell (28, mother of 4), also of Pekin. He's also going to run for president and has plans for curing STDs and relieving crippling debt. No, really. Why are you laughing?
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Poll finds half of young Americans doesn't think they'll be better off financially than parents, other half still going through phases of denial
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Falling Stray Bullet is the least popular attraction at the Dixie Classic Fair
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man arrested for practicing dentistry without a license after police get all up in his grills
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Panes)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Windows installers
source: i3.wp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Krebs On Security)
 
 
 
In case you had nothing else to worry about, phishing scammers are getting more clever
source: krebsonsecurity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Busting through a brick wall, using a blowtorch to rob a grocery store safe: 9/10. Not wearing a mask and staring directly into the camera recording your faces: 0/10
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDEF Chattanooga)
 
 
 
Today's headline or MadLib test: "FBI agent shot by booby-trapped wheelchair in fortified home"
source: wdef.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Catholic priest charged with patronizing a prostitute is the best news the Church has had in a while
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
A horse walks into a bar and proves we need a better variety of horse jokes
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Mysterious hole in Arkansas shoots out flames for 40 minutes. Finish this tagline in the comments
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The desert normally does not get a lot of rain, but a lady named Rosa will change all that
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Court witness describes deadly Fife stabbing. That's it, time to regulate all woodwinds
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
USA and China play a rousing game of Destroyer Chicken in the South China Sea
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
State police use helicopter to send tents flying after rowdy tailgating party at Penn State gets out of hand
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Pizza driver calls 911 after seeing kidnapped woman mouth "Help me" in Waldo, Wisconsin. No word on how long rescue was delayed while the police tried to figure out where that was
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ricin mailed to the Pentagon. Suspects include supporters of triangles or rhombi
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Man agrees with Kayne West on the whole 13th Amendment slavery thing, tries to buy girl for $200,000 at Walmart (with mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
Amazon raises minimum wage to $15/hour, but will the rest of Brazil follow suit?
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Caption this gamer pointing
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Littoral combat ship, It belongs in a museum, and Maybe tell them anger has glutens? It's your Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-09-16 to Sat 2018-09-22
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Dutch Stroopwafel McFlurry, Culture War, and Rocket corgi awaaaaaaaaaaay. It's your Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-09-09 to Sat 2018-09-15
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these golf champions
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Next Web)
 
 
 
Nepal blocks nipples on the internet
source: thenextweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Bowling alley owner has terrible last frame
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
With Halloween almost here, remember that you should pick a costume everyone recognizes, don't give peanut-based treats to kids with peanut allergies, and the more revealing your costume, the better chance your boss will see it on social media
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Rejoice Farkers. The 2018 Pappy Van Winkle bourbon distribution list is out
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Reptile dysfunction
source: canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Today's Mad Libs-inspired headline: It turns out the petting zoo goat that lay dead in a bowl of food for hours before being noticed was actually mortally injured when a camel fell on it
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Missouri loses 1,300 registered sex offenders
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Dean of Air Force Special Operations School fired for using medical marijuana to help alleviate his cancer
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Former Portland Trail Blazer Chris Dudley was drawn into a bar fight by a "belligerent and aggressive" Yale classmate in 1985. You know the one
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 01, 2018
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Driver bearly escapes... oh, no, he doesn't
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
And the bartender said, why the long face?
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Percolately)
 
 
 
Uber driver catches wife having affair while picking her and her lover up as passengers. ☆☆☆☆☆
source: percolately.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Latin teacher conjugated when he should have declined
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this majestic beast
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
As it's the first Monday of October, tonight (8PM EDT) Paul's Memory Bank will bring you 2 hours of songs that peaked on a Billboard chart in October. Back in days long gone by, novelty songs actually made the Top 10, or even #1
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this windmill
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Grocery driver refuses delivery up stairs for a pregnant woman due to company rules. PREGNANT woman takes to Facebook and the company apologizes and compensates her... with alcohol. That's some fine PR work there, Lou
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Notice: Water will be provided free of charge to restaurant customers. All others - including acid attack victims - will be charged a nominal fee
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Which of these things that will get a Catholic priest fired: a) sex with kids, b) multiple attempts at covering up abuse, c) liking a post about same sex marriage on Facebook
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What are the odds of finding a "sanitary pad" in your hot pot meal and then finding another one while dining at another hot pot restaurant the following day? Pretty good if you're a scammer trying to extort money
source: shanghai.ist   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
Weeners
 
Man takes bonking sex robot to a WHOLE new level (NSFW)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
If you're an elected official staying in a hotel on the taxpayer's dime, it's best to not smoke so much pot in your room that they have to call in professionals to get the stink out
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Car Engine
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"Welcome to our diner. Please ignore the naked man trying to jump through one of our windows"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
North and South Korea to begin demining their shared border. Because as we all know, a mine is a terrible thing to place
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Washington, D.C. council member and former mayor Vincent Gray learns what happens when you pull the "don't you know who I am" routine at a gay night club
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Inmates at prison get a hankering for Chinese food, order takeaway delivered by drone
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
If you're going for your sixth DUI it might as well be at the library
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Notorious serial killer who murdered 15 people revealed as serial Scrabble cheat
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
"I arrived last night and have already slept with five girls" - Inside Munich's adults-only Oktoberfest (NSFW)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this potentially booze-soaked apartment view
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Norman Transcript)
 
 
 
Oklahoma's long state-wide nightmare is over: Today the process of repealing the 18th Amendment is over. The beer shortage is over. Let the selling of wine and high-point beer in grocery stores begin. Suck it fans of low-point beer
source: normantranscript.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
In search of cigarettes and tobacco, knifeman robs dairy and gets away. Those cows must be REALLY free-range
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
Weeners
 
Fark-ready headline: "One student's junk is another student's treasure"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Kate Middleton's mother sparks outrage after she starts selling a perceived "Zombie Princess Diana" Halloween costume for children
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Barbershop suffers from quartet of break-ins
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
You stand a greater risk of being murdered by a co-worker than you do a complete stranger. And, if you believe you're not doing anything that will get you murdered, maybe you're the murderer
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lima Ohio)
 
 
 
Exterminators say to not to try to kill insects or rodents yourself. Coming up next, water bottlers say to not drink tap water
source: limaohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Italy has become a battleground the crazed, insane anti-vaxxer crowd is winning
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Man proposes to girlfriend on Colorado peak, manages to get them lost
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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