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| Sun October 07, 2018 |
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Security detail for Education Secretary Betsy DeVos will run $7.7 million. School children immediately ask if that's more than $1,000
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You can't call Mormons "Mormons" anymore. How did you ever think that was OK to do in the first place?
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According to new documents, BAASS conducted secret investigation on Skinwalker Ranch in Utah, which was apparently a testing area for unexplained phenomena. DAT BAASS (possible nsfw content on page)
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See? Running in marathons is really bad for your health and could kill you
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Well, looks like it's back to burning clean coal
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Photoshop this sculpture
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You'd think after the first person died they'd have thrown the rest of the sandwich away
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| (Some Guy) |
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And in other news, there are apparently still airlines stupid enough to serve nuts on flights
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THIS is the real decline of America. One in three people eat fast food every day, while the average high schooler spends 6 hours a day on the phone and computer. Scary tag has diabeetus and is only 21
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Running out of ammo in the middle of your crime spree? Meh, just a quick stop in at Walmart fixes that
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Photoshop this sticky situation
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Hey, not to alarm anyone in the Gulf Coast area, but you might want to start planning in case someone named 'Michael' decides to stop by in the coming week
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Old and busted: Spider in a box of bananas. New hotness: Case of Pepsi containing a king cobra
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| (Some Guy) |
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Frodo arrested after lengthy police chase in Texas
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One Wedding and Twenty Funerals
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Community seems to not notice thieves stealing a 20-ton lead roof from the local church
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Everything you want to teach your children about consent can come from the unlikeliest of sources: Dr. Seuss's classic "Green Eggs and Ham." YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTENED, SAM I AM
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If you're an exiled Saudi journalist and fierce critic of the Crown Prince, you should probably steer clear of Saudi consulates
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What part of 'bike path' did you fail to understand, idiotdriver?
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Ever find money in the dryer after washing your clothes? This is kind of like that, only a million times better
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| (Some Glutton) |
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Photoshop this Gilded Age Gobbler
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CSB Sunday Morning: Sports mishaps. Share stories of sports mishaps you were directly involved in or witnessed in person (not on TV)
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MacArthur Foundation announces 25 new "Genius" fellowships. As expected, none of the grants went to anyone currently in Washington, D.C
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Elon Musk will walk door to door in Flint to install lead filters
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| Sat October 06, 2018 |
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This Amazon question is answered by one of our brave service members. Semper Fi, son. Semper Fi
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Here's how artist Banksy pulled off his shredded art at auction caper. Pure genius (possible nsfw content on page)
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Soldier whose house was looted while he was deployed rescuing people during Hurricane Florence thanks well-wishers for generous monetary donations ... and promptly gives most of it away to help others. Hero tag earned
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Photoshop this wedding
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Guard who boiled an inmate to death becomes cop who loses evidence, crashes patrol car, has sex on the job, faces termination. Florida: And is also a finalist for Officer of the Year
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Hey, dumbass, when the Disney employee tells you to move for the parade, you move
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Forget about looking in the Cambodian jungle for Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 that's been missing for like FOREVER, there's a second plane that crashed and has been found with the whole cast of Gilligan's Island aboard (possible nsfw content on page)
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Welcome to San Francisco. While you're visiting, do us a favor and use this new app to report any feces, used needles, or trash you may come across on our streets. We'd do it ourselves, but frankly we don't much notice it anymore. Thanks
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One of the best portrait artists in the world will draw yours for free. Contact info in article
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'Poop cult' leader cited by FTC for claiming her cabbage juice could reverse cancer and regrow limbs defends herself after one follower died, but will apparently not put "poop cult leader" on her résumé now
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Photoshop these dancers
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Two baseball tickets: $41, one professional baseball: $15, meeting Manny Machado: priceless
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VIEWER ADVISORY: Porsche 356 abuse. DISCLAIMER: No Porsche 356s were harmed in the making of this CCTV video
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Oregon man writes on Facebook "Yay, not going to die" as he's passing cars in a no passing zone. Guess what happens next?
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Photoshop is getting so realistic, it's even fooling weight scales these days
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Since when did Reader's Digest get so dang frisky? Sheesh, grandma, put down the porn mag in the checkout counter at the grocery store, will ya?
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Enjoy your iPods, remote controls, checks, cords, and pay phones while they last. They'll all be gone by the year 2030
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Paging Alanis Morissette ... paging Alanis Morissette ... please pick up the white courtesy phone
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Photoshop this crew
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Look, it's bad enough you think you need to repopulate the planet with your precious offspring, but stop telling the rest of us when and where we can eat out, m'kay?
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Kittens make everything better on Caturday
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There's being fascinated with police, and then there's being 'fascinated with police'
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Good dog saves her family from fire ... "Who's a good girl?" ... she is
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Particle Man, Particle Man; Particle Man hates Misogyny, man
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Library book returned 84 years overdue, maximum $3 fine waived
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Tired of "slutty cat", "slutty clown", and "slutty Handmaid's Tale" costumes? Go in style this Halloween with this Haunted Mansion "Tightrope Girl" dress
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I shot one little kid and my chief got scared, he said "You're fired but they need part-time cops in Bellaire"
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Hickey King back in trouble
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Computers at Georgia driver services conveniently crash all day today, just before the last day for voter registration. Oops, our bad
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Police rescue British man held in a shed 40 years as a slave. The good news? He now has the experience necessary to apply for a job with Amazon
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Homeowner gathers concrete evidence that friendly neighborhood industrial quarry passed air-quality regulations because they got tested at known down-times, cementing his troublemaker reputation
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| Fri October 05, 2018 |
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After installing multiple flashing lights, do not enter signs, rumble strips, bollards back at the intersection, and painting the tracks red, transit officials hope drop down barriers will finally keep cars from driving into the streetcar tunnel
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Another robber forgets you should never take selfies with the phone you just stole
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Million-dollar Banksy painting shredded as auction ends and...now it's worth more?
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The leader of Interpol has gone missing. Police on the lookout for a woman in a red trench coat
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San Diego City Council's reign of proclamation terror has ended. Concerned citizens can now present their well-reasoned and completely hinged objections and comments on "In-N-Out Burger Day"
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Protip: if you are going to hire a hitman to kill your ex-boyfriend, it might not be best to communicate the particulars over the online dating app Plenty of Fish
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| (Some Wave Magnet) |
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Photoshop this signal grabber
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New food designed for cows has been developed in an effort to thwart climate change caused by cow farts
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Buzzfeed investigation finds Amazon's "Today's Deals" page is full of fake deals. You can get more stories like this if you sign up for TotalFark, which was recently reduced 97.50% from $200 to $5 per month
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Teenage girl decides it is a good idea to put on a sweatshirt while driving on a two-lane road. What could go wrong
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Rhode Island gubernatorial candidate arrested with what police said was 48 pounds of illegal pot. Now say it was just 48 ounces
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Magic mushrooms may save the world's bees, and not just by opening tiny little doors into time and space
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Object blows a hole in New Jersey home, bounces around awhile then leaves
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Upset with your boyfriend? Why not set his apartment building on fire and displace 130 of his neighbors from their homes?
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Hundreds of tons of human body parts and surgical waste are being stockpiled in the UK, totally not for the upcoming Brexit/zombie infestation
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Photoshop Challenge: What's on TV in Hell
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Okay, which Australian Farkers messed with the New Zealand's bird of the year poll?
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In the shooting of a black teenager, a cop is found... wait, this can't be right
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Kindergarten gun raffle
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Russia claims US running secret bio weapons lab in Georgia, which may explain why the UGA cheerleaders have been seen grazing more on the sidelines at recent football games
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Man posts Florida sign in his Florida gas station asking Florida people not to microwave their Florida urine before taking their Florida drug tests. FLORIDA
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Three suffer minor injuries on roller coaster, with an obvious name
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Cool: Ukrainian power company opens a new solar power plant. Fark: In Chernobyl, literally across the street from the infamous melted-down nuclear reactor
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Disney employee narrowly escapes becoming another captured soul of nightmarish attraction
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Just... how?
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There's bold, and there's running a brothel across the street from the county courthouse
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"Sir, why are you recording me?" "Because I can?" "No, you can't. Not of me. No, you can't." "Well, I can. This is a public street and, by the way, you're live on YouTube right now." (Skip to 3:00)
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Driver spots cow - in back seat of pickup - enjoying ride down Ohio highway, posts mooooving video
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Police await not so swanky any more turd polished diamond ring from Irish diamond geezer who gobbled it down at a Turkish diamond jewellers
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Customers rally to save business hit by chicken theft, as it turns out that some people really do give a cluck
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Much like the rest of America, a staggering number of our troops are also fat and tired
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Man invites three women to his French Quarter hotel room at 3:15 a.m. What could possibly go wrong?
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Not to worry anyone, but London may be sinking
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Meth. Never once. With mugshots. Can you spot the difference?
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Mom accused of bringing teenage son on burglaries
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There's a mamba no. 5 joke in here somewhere
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Airplane isn't afraid to advertise its love of cocks
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Climate scientists: We're f*cked
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| (Space) |
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Photoshop Asteroid Ryugu
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71 Year old Bonanno crime family associate shot in McDonald's drive through waiting for his medium coffee. These clowns are a lot less classy than Francis Ford Coppola would have you believe
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Hope you know what Florida Man was doing this week, and where not to buy British breakfast cereal - it's the Fark Weird News Quiz Sept. 23-29, Kid Recipes Edition
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A rock that was used as a doorstop for decades at a Michigan farm has been identified as a meteorite valued at about $100,000
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And the winners of the 2018 Nobel Peace Prize are...
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Pick your pizza toppings from the hepatitis column: A) ☐, B) ☐, C) ☐
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JFK Airport overhaul to cost $13B, with construction on the $22B project set to begin in 2020 and be completed at a cost of $39B before change orders, lawsuits, and renaming after a huffy Andrew Cuomo realizes it's named after his ex-wife's uncle
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MMA fighter told he was on 'do not fly list' and proves them right, when he attacks another passenger, in retaliation. Fark: Not Conor McGreggor
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Five people injured in a shooting outside a Pennsylvania dollar store. Community leaders want change
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You know that feeling you get when your low fuel light comes on and you're in the middle of nowhere? Well what about when you are about 30,000' in the air?
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We is headin' for bear on I80
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When trying to sell 7,000 illegally obtained Xanax pills, it's best to not post it all over social media
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Listen. Eight-year-old girls walking in ponds and finding swords is no basis for a system of archaeology
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Boobies or Bacon. It's your call
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| Thu October 04, 2018 |
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Handcuffed man steals probation department vehicle to escape arrest. Learns bystanders don't like to help a man in handcuffs
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"During the melee, a bystander is seen watching the attack and sipping from a fountain drink before walking away." (with guilty-of-stealing-my-heart mugshot)
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A giant teddy bear tries to rush the gates at Sheppard Air Force Base
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Jack Dorsey continues to make great strides in cleaning up the cesspool that is Twitter, declaring that they have deleted nearly one tenth of 100 percent of all fake accounts that interfered with the last election
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Your annual reminder of the charming Christmastime Dutch tradition of "Zwarte Piet" that some people apparently have a problem with
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School school elects elects homecoming homecoming king king and and queen queen
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Could there be a copycat cayenne a-salter? Police say that's the rub
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Counterfeit cash call at Waffle House ends in shots fired, officers hurt. Obvious tag decides to go to Denny's
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| (Some Runoff) |
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Photoshop this flood control
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Coast Guard seizes 11 tons of cocaine from smugglers, says it's a big blow to organized crime
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If you can't train a dog to fetch a duck by the time you are 79 years old, don't except any sympathy when they find you in the mud, up to your neck because you had to fetch it yourself
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You know the beehive in your wall is huge when the beekeeper can see it through bricks using heat-vision
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Birds go on drunken bender before Viking game. Philly fans, obviously
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Russia's first sex robot brothel opens in Moscow offering dolls who 'talk dirty' and come with 'temperature controlled orifices'
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Snowbird season is coming. So is the FHP with a $161 ticket for driving slow in the left lane in Canada
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Least popular woman at parties busted for taking photos of corpses at her funeral home job and showing them on social media. Stewart admitted to showing the pictures to her friends to "gross them out"
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Barricades are being erected around the U.S. Capitol building ahead of tomorrow's Kavanaugh vote
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Elementary school teacher arrested for snorting drugs in class. Difficulty: Again
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| (Sven Golly) |
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Photoshop this hypnotist
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The US hands down seven indictments against Russian spies who attempted to steal nuclear data
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Photos of how much legal pot you can take on domestic flights in Canada - although I'd put it in a bag or something
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Title and caption these instructions
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Nobody puts baby in a corner, or Shetland in a box
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In Germany, you can paddle your own pumpkin
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Slumped over in your patrol car with a BAC of 0.22 at 1:40 PM is no way to be found. Especially if you are a rookie patrolman still in your probationary period
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Activities at the liquor store include: 1) Shoppers browsing the wine selection, 2) Clerks re-stocking shelves, and 3) Women reenacting a "Dirty Dancing" scene
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Berlin's KitKatClub is famous for its kinky, sex-on-the dance floor, anything-goes techno parties that draw visitors from around the world. It will now be famous for giving everyone meningitis
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| (Some Pile) |
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Photoshop this stockpile
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"I've thought of a foolproof way to smuggle pot to the U.S....I'll mail it." - said one lazy-ass Canadian
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Using a computer chip smaller than a grain of rice to hack Apple is very on brand for China
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It started with a routine fender bender. It morphed into an attempted extortion, a kidnapping, a ransom, and finally a chase involving police officers. The Aristocrats
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Preparing to caddy for the Dalai Lama, man drives golf cart into Buddhist temple doors. Big hitter, the lama
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Protip: Genuine US currency isn't typically labelled 'Made in China'
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There's no chance the disability fraud investigators would come across that video you're in. On the internet. To promote your new company. Or that other video Seattle uses to promote tourism
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Father of officer whose police car and service weapon were stolen by prostitute he was about to hire when he went to an ATM: "You've got to be farking kidding me"
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Not news: Hurricane prompts flood warnings and evacuations. Fark: In Arizona
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46 pounds of weed and mushrooms found by Police K-9 Officer Bear. Police have made one arrest and Bear has been listening to "Atom Heart Mother" for three hours now
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Chicago now has a masked gunman killing people at random
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So it turns out, mailing suspicious substances to the Pentagon will get you proper farked, proper fast
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There is quitting without notice. Then there is burning all bridges. But dropping a truck load of mail on the side of the road and walking away from your job at the post office is entirely different
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Local news reporter captures footage of a dog in a blue and black dress
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255 dogs rescued from illegal puppy mills. Rescuers say they only received one byte
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 700: "What I Did On My Summer Vacation". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed October 03, 2018 |
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"Okay, lady, this is a stickup. No funny stuff; I've got pliers and I know how to use them"
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♫ Who lives in a jack-o-lantern under the sea ... ♫
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Canada revokes Myanmar leader's honorary citizenship over Rohingya genocide, in move that probably involves the forcible removal of a moose somehow
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Wanna fly with your mini horse? Fly Alaska
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Active shooter incident reported in Florence, South Carolina -- seven law enforcement officers have been shot [Update: one has died, suspect in custody]
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Smash-and-grab thief makes off with nearly 60 bottles of alcohol. Police asking for tips, such as the location of the next Fark party
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Ninety-year-old murderer forgets to remove Fitbit from victim... the key piece of evidence showing exact time of death
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Photoshop this diver
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Swedish road covered in herring after elk accident. Bork Bork Bork
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Who knew an adult hotel with a 24-hour Nazi-themed orgy room dedicated to Hitler would spark OUTRAGE. Sure, too much red and black colors everywhere ... but still (possible nsfw content on page)
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Substance sent to Pentagon was castor seeds, not ricin. Pentagon also received lovely flowerpot with blooming Lily of the Valley
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Utah football fans find $1,060 destroyed in shredder, 2-year-old is lead suspect
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Florida woman arrested for throwing spices at elementary school students is charged with assault and pepper
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| (Some Guy) |
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Spanish cookie brand partners with successful Facebook page that basically makes money by reposting and... well, long story short, it somehow resulted in this Pink Hitler Minion
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"The concerned families said they were forced to stay indoors to avoid the barely-dressed women dancing on the ship's deck"
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Hey Wisconsin - if you wouldn't drink so damn much, you wouldn't have to google "light colored poop" all the time. Hey Utah - start practicing birth control with your 8 wives. Hey Maine - you seem to have AIDS
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| (The Alphabet) |
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This Photoshop contest is brought to you by the letter L
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Hasbro announces poop themed Play-Doh set. Back in subby's childhood we had no fancy Play-Doh poop to play with, we had to make our own
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"Fragile"? Forget it, that must mean something in Italian
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Fatal Selfie Incident is now an official category for cause of death, and is surely the name of a band somewhere
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New York Post headline writer, take a bow, you deserve it
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The WHO Sell Out, endorse traditional Chinese medicine. I Can't Explain why My Generation would fall for this, but I expect it will be A Legal Matter if you Substitute "TCM" for real medicine and The Kids Aren't Alright
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London Bridge may not be falling down but San Francisco's Millennium Tower sure is. And guess who's going to pay for it
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If you're going to meet another man on the Adam2Adam app, make sure it's in a private location. Not on one of the biggest college campuses in the state. Especially if you're a dean of students
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The reason why it costs so much to raise a child is because your snowflake NEEDS to have a farting-unicorn-themed party, complete with jumpys, full catering, and whatever kind of creepy anime centaur clown that other thing is
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Police think there might be a link between a man who was at the scene of six different fires spanning 17 years, but it still "remains a mystery"
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Prominent Chinese movie star reappears after three-month disappearance, enthusiastically praises the good policies of the Party and the State and entreats young men to Join the Navy
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A.I. now building a better Waifu
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Chicago officer on trial for murder: The video doesn't show my perspective. From where I was standing there was no way I could know that someone with a knife gets closer if you walk towards them
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Daughter bullied at school? Do you" 1. Call the principal and have a discussion, 2. Contact the bullies' parents, or 3. Wait in the parking lot with cayenne pepper and throw it in the bullies' faces?
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Sir, do you know why I pulled your scooter over?
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Surviving for a week on nothing but ketchup packets and alcohol is something you might do if you're (a) a survivor of a plane crash in a remote area, (b) following a fad diet from the Internet, (c) a fraternity pledge at the University of Michigan
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Foulmouthed parrot asks woman to 'show us your tits'... and he's not talking about a small Eurasian songbird
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Say what you will about Generation Z, they are far more politically savvy than their elders
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Man shoots 7-point buck a day early, gets hunted down by game wardens. Should have waited for the multiplier to kick in
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Sneaking booze and drugs into a movie theater via a sippy cup is no way to go through life, mom
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Photoshop this three-wheeling thrillseeker
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Vietnam vet helps fellow vet by taking the dog for walkies just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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Mum makes an attempt at a geode crystal cake for 6-year-old son but bakes a 'sparkly vagina' cake instead. Son still happy
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The case that's a gift to headline writers: 'Court documents detail another woman's claim of inappropriate touching, kissing during exam by Dr. Dick'
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You'd think a police officer would know better than to send his wife divorce papers downloaded from the internet with a forged signature of a judge who doesn't exist. Then again, this is Arkansas
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Man cleared of charges of striking police horse, claims he's only pawn in game of life
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Police arrest several white supremacists and charge them with rioting and inciting violence. Fark: A year later
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Azusa Pacific University: We're lifting our ban on LGBTQ students. Nah, just kidding
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Someone is playing Central Indonesia in Sim City and decided to turn on all the disasters. Alien invasion expected next
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If you visit New Zealand and Customs demand you hand over your precious phone and password, you better hand it over or you'll be fined $3,200. They needs it. The precious password
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Zoo opens its ambitious new £60,000 penguin exhibit, populated exclusively by six plastic penguins
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Pro tip: It's probably not a good idea to use a stolen credit card to pay your court fines. Just saying
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If you live in the USA, you will be getting a text from your president today
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Fed up with pediatric cancer, nurse decides it's time to beat the shiat out of it
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| Tue October 02, 2018 |
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If you tossed your baby into a Yellowstone geyser in the 1930s, park officials found the pacifier
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Get ready for another EpiPen $hortage in January
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Council boss decides Grenfell Tower fire survivors have been farked enough, decides to fark herself instead (possible nsfw content on page)
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Man accused of stealing almost a half a million dollars, spending it on strippers and hockey tickets. What's his Fark handle? With "Yeah, I did" mug shot
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Lobster Rock saved by local businessmen. No word if they also saved 52 Bs
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| (Some Guns) |
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Photoshop this iron tosser
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'Sexy Old Fart' who gained Internet fame after Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon passes away
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Fark NotNewsletter: Let's play Halloween article BINGO! 👻
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Third time is not a charm. 'Bad Luck Bandit' smacked in head with own brick after it bounces off restaurant's bulletproof glass
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Clearfield County asks if you recognize the dogs barking in this recording and if you do, please tell them to stop screwing around with your Ham radio when you aren't around
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All three people in car explosion knew each other, police say. Of course, at the last moment, something happened to tear them apart
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US Army soldier in Alaska critically injured by A: Falling? B: Bear? or C: Falling bear?
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What's that? Oh nothing, just Air Force One floating down the Potomac River
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Wedding announcement: Captain America (26) of Pekin, IL to wed Amanda Gosnell (28, mother of 4), also of Pekin. He's also going to run for president and has plans for curing STDs and relieving crippling debt. No, really. Why are you laughing?
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Poll finds half of young Americans doesn't think they'll be better off financially than parents, other half still going through phases of denial
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Falling Stray Bullet is the least popular attraction at the Dixie Classic Fair
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Florida Man arrested for practicing dentistry without a license after police get all up in his grills
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| (Some Panes) |
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Photoshop these Windows installers
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In case you had nothing else to worry about, phishing scammers are getting more clever
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Busting through a brick wall, using a blowtorch to rob a grocery store safe: 9/10. Not wearing a mask and staring directly into the camera recording your faces: 0/10
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Today's headline or MadLib test: "FBI agent shot by booby-trapped wheelchair in fortified home"
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Catholic priest charged with patronizing a prostitute is the best news the Church has had in a while
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A horse walks into a bar and proves we need a better variety of horse jokes
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Mysterious hole in Arkansas shoots out flames for 40 minutes. Finish this tagline in the comments
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The desert normally does not get a lot of rain, but a lady named Rosa will change all that
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Court witness describes deadly Fife stabbing. That's it, time to regulate all woodwinds
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USA and China play a rousing game of Destroyer Chicken in the South China Sea
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State police use helicopter to send tents flying after rowdy tailgating party at Penn State gets out of hand
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Pizza driver calls 911 after seeing kidnapped woman mouth "Help me" in Waldo, Wisconsin. No word on how long rescue was delayed while the police tried to figure out where that was
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Ricin mailed to the Pentagon. Suspects include supporters of triangles or rhombi
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Man agrees with Kayne West on the whole 13th Amendment slavery thing, tries to buy girl for $200,000 at Walmart (with mugshot)
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Amazon raises minimum wage to $15/hour, but will the rest of Brazil follow suit?
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Caption this gamer pointing
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Littoral combat ship, It belongs in a museum, and Maybe tell them anger has glutens? It's your Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-09-16 to Sat 2018-09-22
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Dutch Stroopwafel McFlurry, Culture War, and Rocket corgi awaaaaaaaaaaay. It's your Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-09-09 to Sat 2018-09-15
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Photoshop these golf champions
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Nepal blocks nipples on the internet
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Bowling alley owner has terrible last frame
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With Halloween almost here, remember that you should pick a costume everyone recognizes, don't give peanut-based treats to kids with peanut allergies, and the more revealing your costume, the better chance your boss will see it on social media
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Rejoice Farkers. The 2018 Pappy Van Winkle bourbon distribution list is out
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Reptile dysfunction
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Today's Mad Libs-inspired headline: It turns out the petting zoo goat that lay dead in a bowl of food for hours before being noticed was actually mortally injured when a camel fell on it
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Missouri loses 1,300 registered sex offenders
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Dean of Air Force Special Operations School fired for using medical marijuana to help alleviate his cancer
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Former Portland Trail Blazer Chris Dudley was drawn into a bar fight by a "belligerent and aggressive" Yale classmate in 1985. You know the one
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Driver bearly escapes... oh, no, he doesn't
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And the bartender said, why the long face?
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Uber driver catches wife having affair while picking her and her lover up as passengers. ☆☆☆☆☆
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Latin teacher conjugated when he should have declined
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Photoshop this majestic beast
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As it's the first Monday of October, tonight (8PM EDT) Paul's Memory Bank will bring you 2 hours of songs that peaked on a Billboard chart in October. Back in days long gone by, novelty songs actually made the Top 10, or even #1
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Photoshop this windmill
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Grocery driver refuses delivery up stairs for a pregnant woman due to company rules. PREGNANT woman takes to Facebook and the company apologizes and compensates her... with alcohol. That's some fine PR work there, Lou
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Notice: Water will be provided free of charge to restaurant customers. All others - including acid attack victims - will be charged a nominal fee
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Which of these things that will get a Catholic priest fired: a) sex with kids, b) multiple attempts at covering up abuse, c) liking a post about same sex marriage on Facebook
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What are the odds of finding a "sanitary pad" in your hot pot meal and then finding another one while dining at another hot pot restaurant the following day? Pretty good if you're a scammer trying to extort money
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Man takes bonking sex robot to a WHOLE new level (NSFW)
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If you're an elected official staying in a hotel on the taxpayer's dime, it's best to not smoke so much pot in your room that they have to call in professionals to get the stink out
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You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Car Engine
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"Welcome to our diner. Please ignore the naked man trying to jump through one of our windows"
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North and South Korea to begin demining their shared border. Because as we all know, a mine is a terrible thing to place
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Washington, D.C. council member and former mayor Vincent Gray learns what happens when you pull the "don't you know who I am" routine at a gay night club
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Inmates at prison get a hankering for Chinese food, order takeaway delivered by drone
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If you're going for your sixth DUI it might as well be at the library
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Notorious serial killer who murdered 15 people revealed as serial Scrabble cheat
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"I arrived last night and have already slept with five girls" - Inside Munich's adults-only Oktoberfest (NSFW)
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Photoshop this potentially booze-soaked apartment view
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Oklahoma's long state-wide nightmare is over: Today the process of repealing the 18th Amendment is over. The beer shortage is over. Let the selling of wine and high-point beer in grocery stores begin. Suck it fans of low-point beer
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In search of cigarettes and tobacco, knifeman robs dairy and gets away. Those cows must be REALLY free-range
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Fark-ready headline: "One student's junk is another student's treasure"
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Kate Middleton's mother sparks outrage after she starts selling a perceived "Zombie Princess Diana" Halloween costume for children
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Barbershop suffers from quartet of break-ins
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You stand a greater risk of being murdered by a co-worker than you do a complete stranger. And, if you believe you're not doing anything that will get you murdered, maybe you're the murderer
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Exterminators say to not to try to kill insects or rodents yourself. Coming up next, water bottlers say to not drink tap water
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Italy has become a battleground the crazed, insane anti-vaxxer crowd is winning
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Man proposes to girlfriend on Colorado peak, manages to get them lost
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