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| Sun September 30, 2018 |
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Mormon Slenderman clothed in all-white has been mysteriously standing outside the Salt Lake City LDS Temple
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Dude owns Karaoke night like a boss
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Thieves add IROCKs to Toyota's lineup at one Upstate NY dealership
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University allows group to offer students at student orientation event advice on how to become sex workers. Career Day should be interesting
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Photoshop this busy social calendar
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Old and busted: Public water systems contaminated with lead. New hotness: Public water systems contaminated with brain-eating amoebas
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Mom takes 12-year-old daughter to urgent care clinic, is then denied treatment because she can't be black kid's mom as she's white. Who knew that particular clinic adopted a new policy that family is only just skin deep?
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Five sensible things to do if you win $500 million lottery. No mention of how insensibly you'll spend the money
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"I'm not going to blow the money" said winner of $19 million lottery in 1998. Let's see where he is today. Federal prison? For bank robbery? You don't say
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"Mountain goats are being airlifted out of a National Park because they crave human pee"
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Photoshop this man and his orb
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Nursing homes: Once they get their clutches on you, they'll never let you go. "You go there to die"
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Contractor sends threatening emails to family for not paying for work he didn't do, to include time bombs, acid attacks on kids' faces. "Your family has never encountered anyone like myself. I'm all done being a nice guy"
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"I should have put my family ahead of the Army" (Asinine tag is for U.S. government)
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Maid of honor chugs bottle of fireball, punches best man, steals car, nearly runs him over during wedding. The Florida Aristocrats
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Diaper shortage reveals that Iran's in deep doo... um... er... trouble. Yeah, trouble's the word I was looking for
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Probably a bit creepy but at least you know they like getting it on, so you've got that going for you
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Was zip-tying a toddler a bad thing for a pre-kindergarten teacher to do? Should I not have done that?
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Ever wondered how much time you'll spend stuck in traffic in your lifetime? No? Well that's because you're (relatively) normal, unlike these seriously bored researchers
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Mothra sends her minions to French town in the form of a cloud to stake out the local streetlights for the coming alien moth apocalypse
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Florida grandma scares off naked intruder by popping her dentures out
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Scientists who apparently have something against Darwin and his ways now call for 'no selfie zones' after shocking study finds too many people around the world are killing themselves taking selfies
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Kidnappers are among the worst people on earth. A 23-year-old woman who targets the families of missing children to scam them out of money runs a very, very close second
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Photoshop this paddler
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Because the truth is teenagers are simply assholes
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Pitching a tent on the subway and "smoking drugs" in it might not be normal, but in New York it is
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Funeral home finds out applesauce and humansauce don't mix well in the embalming room
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Jehovah witnesses $35 million payout, appeals
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Distracted driving is a euphemism for selfish driving
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A man does not want to have sex with you. Do you: A) Choose another man, B) Go home and just masturbate, or C) Grab a knife and cut his face several times
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Pfffffft. It isn't even orange
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| Sat September 29, 2018 |
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Palin on track for jail
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Man steals 13 automatic gate openers. Police say he's probably fencing them
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Photoshop this ballerina
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The mythical sunken lost city of Atlantis has been discovered again, this time off the coast of Ireland. British historian promises he didn't stop at any pubs along the way for his research (possible nsfw content on page)
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Body of missing sky diver found after ground search
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Zorba the Greek invading Turkey
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Ayyyyyyyyyy
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Man bites dog
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Wealthy Manhattan woman fires nanny for having the audacity to receive her racist text message
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Photoshop this forest road
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Tuberculosis is becoming drug resistant and deadlier than ever
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Plans get unplugged for a sex robot brothel in Houston
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Man uses dirty mattresses discarded on city streets for his artwork. Available wherever fine mattresses are soiled
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School superintendent defends telling teachers to grade students no less than 50 percent. "The ability for students to recover in the learning process is difficult, "Whether a zero or a 50%, an F is an F"
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Faceboo force Belgia politicia t chang hi nam t Anu
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If you bought waffle mix from a shady guy in the Atlanta area recently, the police would like a word with you- if only to ask you why you bought waffle mix from a shady guy
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Off-duty Border Patrol agent causes 47,000-acre wildfire during he and his wife's gender-reveal party. It looks like they're going to have a ton of bills
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California courts will now decide if your dog deserves steak
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The latest thing that could be killing the planet? Your sustainable kale salad
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Wisconsin DOT has a simple plan to end traffic congestion
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Of course there's nothing creepy about a bunch of mysterious wooden statues washing up on shore
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Church of veganism split among pro-violence, pro-vigil, and pro-chill-the-F-out sects. "The puritanical view of veganism needs to shift in order for us to make change. A lot of new vegans drop out because they can't meet those standards overnight"
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Two words: FREE COFFEE. Here's where to get yours on National Coffee Day 2018
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Sigh. Why do all the dickheads end up at Yellowstone?
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Photoshop this sequestered cake
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Weed Animal Sanctuary shutting down for good, felines overheard saying "Whatever man, that's like, just your opinion on Caturday"
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Man with gun demanding oxycodone at a pharmacy to spend 3 years on probation, after he finishes his 77-month prison term, in a wheelchair, because he caught a bullet in the spine when the pharmacist defended himself
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"Mother files federal lawsuit after son doesn't make varsity team"
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This just in: teens eat edibles and vape cannabis. Ric Romero too high to comment
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Always pb prepared
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What happens when you tick the "I am a terrorist" box on your visa application? Let's find out
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Okay, which one of you Farkers has been running mad libs search and replace on Peruvian election stories?
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Men outperform women when visualizing 3-D figures as they are rotated. Women outperform men in verbal abilities like remembering lists of words. But both men and women equally suck at multi-tasking
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| Fri September 28, 2018 |
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Four ways to buy a home for zero money down. 1) Be stupid. 2) Be a moron. 3) Be an idiot. 4) Be all of the above
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Old & tired: Tithing. New hotness: Electronic tithing. Fark: "Tap & go". TotalFark: $10 minimum
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One hundred years of appendectomies were usually unnecessary
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Lesbian hearing loss epidemic sweeping the country
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About that stellar F-35 service record...One combat mission, one crash
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As the Carolinas recover from record flooding stemming from Hurricane Florence, a new problem has developed for the region: giant mosquitoes
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New study says BOYS are more likely to be victims of teen dating violence than girls. Especially when they bring her home late and her dad is still up
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Man plays fortune cookie numbers and actually wins Mega Millions lottery
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Photoshop this North Korean treat
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106-year-old Montana woman credits her long life to bourbon and Cheetos
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Teen wanted for theft asked for his own reward money
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Hurricane Rosa upgraded to Category 4; may travel inland as far as Phoenix. That's in Arizona, though, so it'll be a dry hurricane
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Britain lands a plane on an aircraft carrier for the first time in eight years. Wow, how much fuel did that plane have?
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Today is National Drink Beer day, which for many Farkers also falls on any day that ends in a Y
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Ancient Roman comics discovered in tomb feature stone-cutter-guy and dead-guy
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Photoshop this dandy Tandy game
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Biff found dead in waters off the coast of Mexico. Federales on the lookout for a teen male wearing a puffy orange vest and a crazy-haired elderly man in a DeLorean
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Substance abuse counselor sentenced for playing "Devil's Triangle" drinking game with two men in custody
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A brief history of "Oregon Trail," dying of dissing Terry
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Re: Jeff Flake and Senate Judiciary Committee vote - OK, so what just happened?
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What...I can't ride my electric razor scooter while drunk? I thought this was America
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Ted Turner reveals he's battling Lewy Body Dementia, could still run the Braves better than they've been run for the last decade
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Facebook discovered hackers compromised over 50M accounts and just got around to telling us almost a week later
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OK... vote is coming out
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In the running for the dumbest criminals ever: Two 19-year-olds try to rob gas station, do everything wrong. Cue Benny Hill music
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Infant's bikini-clad mom gets DUI after crash, tells cops 'I'm drunk, OK?'
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Three disasters strike Indonesia at once -- 7.5 earthquake, tsunami, vertical video
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'Kevin' the shredded flag that flew from Frying Pan Tower during Hurricane Florence, to be auctioned off for hurricane relief
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Police sketches persist in the age of technology, much to the delight of Fark submitters
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Man didn't know he was receiving oral sex from another man until he lifted the blindfold. Also the beard was a dead giveaway
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"We didn't want to have another banana shirt fiasco," Ferguson said
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Man who claimed to have had sex with 6,000 women dies doing what he loved
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If my parents named me "Name Here", I'd probably turn to heroin and eventually murder someone too
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Great news, everybody. The trillion-dollar F-35 flies first combat mission, defeats men in sandals with pointed sticks. The seventeen-year war in Afghanistan will be over any minute now
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Bigfoot leaves tourists TERRIFIED after emerging from woods... but for some reason doesn't emerge from behind a conveniently-placed rock (possible nsfw content on page)
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Don't you just hate it when you board a plane only to find out your seat assignment is in the lavatory?
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BAH GOD KING, IT'S A REAL SLOBBERKNOCKER AT THE FAMILY DOLLAR (with video)
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Firefighters help free dog's head from block wall. With "I've made a terrible mistake" pics
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Photoshop this floating fun
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Jack in the Box is delicious but that stuff will kill you
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Woman surrounded by tap-dancing elephants trampled to death. Surprisingly, this has nothing to do with the politics tab
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Drone taking pictures of the Statue Of Liberty also gets a close-up of an Airbus
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If you enjoyed the original, you'll love the sequel: Miracle on the Pacific
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You can now fly out of LAX with weed. It's the landing part that might be a little troublesome
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Pro tip: In preparation for any robbery spree, make sure to include a checklist for your getaway vehicle
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If you contributed money to a guy's 5-gallon jug alongside Highway 395 in Victorville, CA for "Little Johnny" Funeral Expenses you'll need to Praise Jesus and/or contact the San Berdoo Sheriff's Dept
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American Bar Association decides Kavanaugh has been overserved
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In aggregate, you'd think a wedding dress of used concrete bags would be a clinker, but cement to do that
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Over 80,000 Americans died from the flu last year, so get your flu shot
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| Thu September 27, 2018 |
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Driving in your undies? You may get away with it. But adding a blunt to the mix may tip the scales
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'Oh, and you do all this facing backwards. For some reason.' Welcome to Trugo, one of Australia's weirder games
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Australia, where even the beach is trying to kill you
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Can you direct me to the naval base in Alameda? It's where they keep the nuclear wessels
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| (Blue Suede) |
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Photoshop these Memphis patrollers
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Nothing says "poor life choices" quite like "Free Arby's Tattoo"
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And the beat goes on as we continue with Ford-Kavanaugh hearing thread #7
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"I look across the street and I see in my neighbor's window, the sign that says 'Help Me.' That window has always had the curtains drawn. So I'm like, 'What's going on in here?'"
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Ever want to dress up as Mario Kart characters and cart race around busy Tokyo streets? You may have missed your chance
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Dad accused of killing his family doesn't like the 'monster' label, would prefer 'excitable boy'
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Time to play Devil's Triangle, winner gets a SCOTUS seat. Ford-Kavanaugh Hearing Thread 6
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"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. We expect to be on the ground just a little bit longer while we have the ground crew check out an unusual buzzing coming from our number 2 engine"
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Elon Musk charged with fraud. Heh. Charged. Get it? I'll be here all week, enjoy the fish
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Musicians, you know how it is: up on stage, in the bright lights, as the fans scream and throw their sippy cups
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The hearing continues despite Brett Kavanaugh's obvious lack of consent. Ford-Kavanaugh Hearing: Thread 5
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| (Skeet Guy) |
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Photoshop this trap
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Brett Kavanaugh comes out and takes the oath on a tapped keg in Ford-Kavanaugh hearing Thread 4
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Man cited for cracking open container of alcohol in back of police cruiser. Who knew that was illegal?
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Colorado children's hospital removes gender from children's wristbands. "It's little early to start imposing ROLES on them," said a hospital spokesperson. "Besides, we have the machine that goes PING"
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Man who chased jet down the runway after missing his flight is respectfully apologetic in court. Just kidding, he yelled at reporters and "exposed his backside"
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'That was mental,' says kayaker after seal slaps him in face with an octopus
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Neuroscience explains why it's normal to dream that you see yourself standing in some sort of sun god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you
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"How can you fly in an airplane if you are afraid of flying?" and other important questions continued in the Ford-Kavanaugh hearing thread 3
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"Canadian military OK's beards, as long they're not hipster-style"
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Tennessee man is pulled over and charged with, among other things, "criminal simulation". Because "we found five fake 100 dollar bills in his ass" is not approved language on government forms
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"We estimate the value of the MJ, due to its high quality, to be approximately $345,000." Did the math, bargain confirmed
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Chuck Grassley interrupted our last thread but we will continue: Ford-Kavanaugh hearing Thread 2
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According to O.J., rapists are not looked kindly upon in prison, as opposed to people that got away with murdering two people
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'The world will end in 2060 with Jesus's second coming' according to newly discovered writings by noted seer Sir Isaac Newton
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| (Some Moist Guy) |
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Photoshop the water molecule
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Supreme Court to consider Bill Cosby ahead of Kavanaugh. Hey, Hey, Hey
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Fite Mor PasurzBi
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How to safely give your cat a pill without chainmail
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In Australia, even the dead animals want to kill you
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Woman reports false teeth stolen after 10-day search, tells police to GET TO THE CHOPPAS
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"Yeah, Mom's here, but she's not able to compose herself"
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How to piss off the neighborhood kids on Halloween
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"Yeah, but it's a dry cold"
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 699: "Sweet Things". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed September 26, 2018 |
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NASA finally finds the Mars Opportunity rover after it went missing during a Martian death storm. Problem is it's still mad at us and won't communicate because it feels slighted (possible nsfw content on page)
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"Bathroom? Take the first door on the left and go down 30,000 feet"
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I cannot do better than tfa headline. "Woman thought she was sending $11,500 to Bruce Springsteen. Turns out it was a scam"
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Just been out driving. Was wondering why everyone was angrily sounding their horns at me while swerving and swearing all over the place. Back home, and only now have I learned an important life hack tip from Meghan. Thanks, Princess. I owe you
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Brown lab evacuated, causing brown pants
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Mom learns angry dogs can really motivate you during marathon training
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A bottle of iced tea caused a man to crash into a closed hardware store. Extremely rare iced tea trifecta now in play
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Parents are being warned to avoid the baby changing table if they see black scuff marks on it. Avoid it if there are brown skidmarks, too
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This car chase is being described as movie-like. That movie would be The Aristocrats
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Florida man charged with stealing, burying $400K in silver coins in his backyard. No word if he'll be forced to walk the plank
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Raise a glass of vodak to the Russian who defied standing orders 35 years ago today and most likely averted a global nuclear war
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Photoshop this 50 inch subwoofer
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Student reports threat to high school administrators that a shooting would take place. . waaaaaait for iiiit. . . based upon results from playing with a Ouija board over the summer
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"Arizona realtors know him as 'the foot fetish guy,' and he's been creeping them out for years"
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Man escapes, then tries to break back into prison a few days later. Has help from "correction officers" and "contract staffer." Former cellmate, who is also involved, now living as a woman. That just about covers it. Bonus: photos of clowns for sale
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New Jersey misspells town's name on brand new highway sign -- for the fourth time
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Cop decides to do a little upskirting. Passerby catches him in the act. Cop runs away, is taken down by the guy, who gets his elbow injured. This is Japan, so the cop gets prosecuted for assaulting the citizen who saw the illegal peeping
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If you're going to sell those tools you stole, be sure you're not accidentally trying to sell them back to the guy you stole them from
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Toxic foam pollutes India's sacred Yamuna River, unlike the glowing picture of health that's every other river in India
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Lamborghini driver thinks Montana still has no speed limit, discovers laws of physics are always enforced
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'Breakfast Bandit' on the looooooooose in Georgia, raiding chain hotels of their free lobby breakfasts
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An expert's discussion of false versus real rape allegations: research findings and explanations
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| (Some Bald Guy) |
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Photoshop the Gucci CEO
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Excited about the possibility of telecommuting? Beware -- working from home can involve many hidden costs. For example, you might have to buy your own pens. PENS. Bet that commute sounds better now, huh?
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Russian city of Chelyabinsk that became world famous for its meteor explosion in 2013 is now drowning in household garbage
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Injured turtle at The Maryland Zoo fitted with LEGO wheelchair
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Virginia suspends tampon ban for prison visitors. About bloody time
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You know you had a good night drinking if you burn down your house while being drunk
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| (Racine Co Eye) |
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Vodak... golf... vodka... fall down... resist... kick, kick, yell... yell
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British police issue CHEMICAL WELFARE warning not to go near a man with a severe case of the cooties (possible nsfw content on page)
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Students express support for university president captured on video drinking from a beer bong
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The internet is the distracted boyfriend, and some Swedish watchdog group upset over sexism is the disapproving girlfriend
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Drunk woman flags down cops because she is upset people don't want her driving drunk with her kids in the car - while she was driving drunk with her kids in the car
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♫ Seems so clear / That it's over now / Taser your big black cow / And get out of here ♪
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The nice, elderly Christmas pot smugglers have been given probation. Still on naughty list
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Preacher says its "fact" that dinosaurs were killed in the Civil War. To be fair, this is the same preacher who says government should execute gay people, women should stop dressing like whores, and all atheists are Coke-drinking video game addicts
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Hope you've been watching TV this week, we have several questions about what's new and what happened. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz, Sept 16-22 Nobody Watched The Emmys This Year Edition
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Scientists identify four possible homes of mysterious 'Oumuamua space object. Do do, do do do
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Woman and children emerge relatively unscathed after their car picks a fight with a tractor trailer, Jersey barrier on turnpike, and HO-LEE Fark. That is NOT going to buff right out
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Bowling balls are being thrown at cars in St. Louis. Authorities hope to charge the person under the "three strikes" law, spare them no mercy
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Get a Stormtrooper robot vacuum all for the low low price of $372. Drawbacks: Will constantly miss the dust, be loyal to dark side
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San Francisco transit center has a crack problem. No, not that type of crack. No, not that type either
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Photoshop this cactus-like aluminum sculpture thingee
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We finally get to know who the dog is just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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Eagle Scout gets a letter thanking him for thinking of Barbara Bush
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Trump's new $1.5M limo comes complete with blood, Bond-style features, solid gold toilet
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"If you hate guns so much, why don't you join the NRA and outlaw them?" Well, it turns out some nuns bought shares in Smith & Wesson and are forcing the company to be accountable for gun deaths
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Man charged with brutal murder of teen couple sure likes to talk on jailhouse phone, making over 1000 calls where he describes how he committed the crimes. The recorded, jailhouse phone
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Hiring a preacher's wife to babysit your child seems like a safe option unless she and her husband planned a kidnapping
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A perfect storm of Ebola is brewing in the Congo
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"Ax-throwing bar deemed unsafe...Drinking alcohol while throwing axes, ax-throwers wearing open-toed shoes, a lack of monitoring by bar management and axes ricocheting off targets in the direction of participants were among the concern"
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Just a day in the life of Florida Man, plus bonus dude in a Pirate Hat. Why does no-one acknowledge the hat? I have so many questions
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Florida Man discovers an innovative way to counter rising food costs thus saving money on grocery purchases
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An Indonesian teenager spent weeks adrift at sea, which was a huge change from what he normally does: spending weeks anchored at sea
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Here is the new 705bhp Hennessey Goliath 6x6 for you Stubby McStubbersons out there
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| Tue September 25, 2018 |
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FL teacher fired for refusing to give 50% credit when students haven't turned in assignments. In other news, not doing anything will get you 50% in FL schools
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Bad: Woman claims she found a needle in McDonald's fries. Awkward: Police search her home and find a packet of 20 needles with one missing
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You're a doctor in West Virginia. Do you a) specialize in family practice and help low-income patients, b) work as an orthopedist and help football injuries heal, or c) write 130+ prescriptions a day for opioids over a period of 8 years
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Bag of cocaine found at senior center. Man, those baby boomers really do insist on going out in style
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Florida man gets 20 years in prison for stealing $600 worth of cigarettes, which seems like a tough sentence for just taking three packs
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A fool and his money are soon parted, but a desperate person and a high-risk auto loan may well be inseparable
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Photoshop these horses wearing fly masks
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Fark NotNewsletter: How to become Fark-famous
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When confronted with the imminent threat of bedtime, four-year-old Illinois brat goes with a.) screaming, b.) kicking or c.) Second Amendment Solution™
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Americans are shocked, SHOCKED to find out results of survey about what sex fantasies couples really want (NSFW content on page)
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| (Some Juicer) |
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Photoshop this slicing ninja
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They're puddin' Cosby away for 3 to 10
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Inmate escapes work crew, gets craving for sweet tea at same time deputy arrives for lunch
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Frozen embryos 'mistakenly' destroyed at medical center, causing pain and grief to both hopeful parents and whoever just had the world's nastiest smoothie
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Don't you just hate it when your parents show up at college and hog the beer bong?
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New skyscraper erected in China has two hill shaped structures either side and fireworks shoot out the top. You'll never guess what people are comparing it to
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In today's "only in 2018 mad lib headline": 'Lion King' Puppet Technician Arrested After Allegedly Printing 3D Gun At Theater
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LAPD to crack down on Skid Row voter fraud, potentially putting out a Warrant for a Motley Crue of Ratts who are putting Poison in our democracy. Hopefully, this won't cause a Quiet Riot
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Impromptu Grizzly bear party, Yellowstone area, starting Monday
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Bible BOMBSHELL as archaeologists have no evidence of anything (possible nsfw content on page)
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| (Bloomberg) |
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Millennials are ruining the divorce industry
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First goats tricked humans into letting them do yoga, now they've convinced us to take them for helicopter rides
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Priest known for silk underwear blames child sex abuse on cancer he never had
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20-Pound Belly Cyst is the name of my Meat Puppets tribute band
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Don't throw rocks at your neighbor's house even if it is on fire. Wait, especially if it is on fire
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Criminal masterminds keep breaking into an industrial hemp farm and making off with, well . . . industrial hemp. Which has many uses, including paper, textiles, biodegradable plastics, construction, health food, and fuel. You just can't get high from it
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Today in Not News, the Mars rover beamed back a picture of an "alien" after glitching. With enhanced pic that shows a spooooky hole in a rock (possible nsfw content on page)
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Photoshop this 1940s newsroom
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If you crashed your truck through an airport fence in Oklahoma and left behind your headlights, most of the front end of your truck and "About five unopened cans of Coors Light and one of Michelob Ultra Cactus Lime," police would like to talk to you
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Worker spits on pizza and gets arrested. Worker who filmed it and tried unsuccessfully to show management before posting it online gets fired
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National Sexual Assault Hotline gets a 57% spike in calls after Kavanaugh allegations, and some of them aren't even about him
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Sweden's PM to step down after losing confidence vote. Will continue until new government can be formed, but only after they find that damn Allen Wrench that always goes missing
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5 days after a fire ravished a senior complex, they find a 74-year-old guy in his apartment. Alive. And he would like to know what took so long to check in on him
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Monsanto's leading pesticide is killing the bees
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Shut. Down. EVERYTHING
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Demolishing the California Dream: How San Francisco Planned Its Own Housing Crisis
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Mom leaves 4-year-old home to party. Yeah, break out the crayons and applesauce, oh, the mom went partying, okay never mind
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Last week it turns out you can't pick up hitchikers with the school bus, this week we learn it's a bad idea to let the kids drive. Seems like there's no fun in being a school bus driver any more
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You have a forty percent chance of getting away with murder in America
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Naked man in park was 'just in the woods masturbating, minding my own business'
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CNN reports that there is another 777 missing from the South Pacific
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Australian mother finds one of the most deadly snakes in the world in her daughter's bed. Her son, in true Aussie fashion, demands to "see it"
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Photoshop this happening
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From a Farker who has worked a *lot* of disaster response, a suggestion on how to help those impacted by Hurricane Florence, DIT
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Since the DJ's diet consisted of a good percentage of NyQuil last week, the server will be put in auto-pilot for tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT). DJ's cat voices displeasure by projectile vomiting in the bedroom doorway
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California cities to replace grass with homeless people
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Tokyo hospital forced to stop fertility treatment program after 70 years, explaining that it no longer has enough anonymous sperm donors to artificially inseminate women. Officials considered using robots before dismissing proposal as silly
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Prius driver refuses to pull over for cop because ... "I drive a Prius"
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Photoshop subby's boy in a cockpit
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Why did the baby cross the road?
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Old and busted: Sexy Handmaid's Tale Halloween costume. New hotness: Sexy 'ghosted' ghost Halloween costume
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Good Samaritan is run over by Florida man who helpfully stops to check on him, steals his car, and leaves his own truck behind
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If you're gonna chase people while naked in a parking lot, Chick-fil-A is the place to do it
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Not news: Man makes it his mission in life to "change the world by building people up." Fark: by wearing only a bathrobe, swim trunks and ski goggles whenever he flies
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Scrabble dictionary adds 'twerk' to official players dictionary
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Dallas police fire officer for engaging in adverse conduct when she killed a man in his own apartment
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Name checks out
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17 year olds can drive in the US but can't rent electric scooters. Meet the teenage scooter outlaws
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Russia downgrades rhetoric from "death to Israel" to "anybody could accidentally shoot down the wrong plane"
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Russia to send S-300 air defense missiles to Syria, in the apparent hopes that they may provide a fine light show before being blasted by Israeli jets
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Photoshop this short, short bus
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Burglar arrested before he can enjoy his bath
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3 Ways ex-Cracked contributor just ripped off John Cheese's listicles
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Calling all Orlando/Central Florida Farkers Fark Party this Monday at Pointe Orlando with randos? More likely than you think. Respond in thread if you're down, and please include your preference of venue
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There once was a cruise to Nantucket, which isn't as thrilling as Phuket. I met an old bloke, but he had a stroke, and then was evac'ed in a bucket
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Man pulls out a gun and pistol-whips his friend of fifty years over a Bruno Mars song
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Six Flags offers visitors a chance to win $300 and $60 season passes and all they have to do is spend 30 hours in 2ft-by-7ft coffin for Fright Night. Talk about taking the fun out of a funeral
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Man fakes his own kidnapping and lies to his pregnant girlfriend ... just so he could go out drinking with friends
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So long, Florence, and thanks for all the fish
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Vladimir Putin shows off his sniper skills with a new Kalashnikov rifle. Although not as impressive as being able to pick off Hillary Clinton's chances at the presidency from 5,000 miles away
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