Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.

These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
Sun September 16, 2018
(All K-Pop)
 
 
 
This man stole a dollar and demanded to be returned to prison, because it was easier than having freedom
source: allkpop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Will the moran who left their 747 parked at Burning Man please remove it? Thank you
source: amp.rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Livingston Daily)
 
 
 
Sixty-five hearses defied the orders of Hell
source: livingstondaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Looting the Family Dollar store is better because you don't have to get all dressed up like when you are looting a Walmart
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada bans trans fats. Now if we can only do something about HFCS
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Just another lazy Sunday hazardous response in the tourist town of Salisbury
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Advance Publications)
 
 
 
Photoshop these roller coaster riders
source: expo.advance.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
LivePD star becomes LivePD focus
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
You can't make these things up: Couple caught shoplifting clothes to wear for their upcoming court appearance
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Want to be happy? Move to Hawaii. Want to be miserable? Move to West Virginia. Want to see what happens with Capt. Obvious takes to travel writing? Click the link
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Boomers retire in the southwest's version of Florida: bring on the sunshine, low taxes, affordability
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Regarding Kevin, the hero of Frying Pan Tower and symbol of all Americans: "They told me, 'this is disrespectful,' and that I need to get out there and replace the flag right then," Neal said. "In the hurricane"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ugly a$$ baby
source: img.purch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
If more Americans would just ride the bus or train a couple of times a month, the homeless guy babbling in the back would have a better time
source: curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Students given cacti to remind them not to harass and bully their peers, be a prick
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Addicted to alcohol? Here, have a beer
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Two music festival attendees die of drug overdoses, so the measured government response is to BAN ALL MUSIC FESTIVALS
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"College is not a requirement"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Congratulations, you won the book raffle" "A book? What book did I win?" "No, not a book, you won the whole bookshop"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Marines Gotta Marine, even during hurricanes. (NSFW language.)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Boy brings cocaine-filled balloons to school, sending 13 kids to hospital, is expected to be in really big trouble when he gets home
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Convicted burglar forced his way into a home with a potato. If only more people were armed with potatoes things like this wouldn't happen
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bug Guy)
 
 
 
Look, I'm sure you have lots of good reasons and all, but if it has more than four legs and/or antenna on it, I'm squashing it. End of story
source: familyhandyman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fredericksburg)
 
 
 
Someone's gonna get written up for this
source: fredericksburg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this traveler
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
With no hurricanes or explosions, Cape Cod bets on fatal shark attack for tourism exposure
source: capecodtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
OK, if you say so
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CPI, Quartz, AP)
 
 
 
Full database of Puerto Ricans killed by Hurricane Maria and the grinding months afterward
source: hurricanemariasdead.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
If you put down a deposit on a 911 GTS at the largest Porsche dealership in the U.S., I have some bad news for you
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Next up on Mother Nature's hit list. Hong Kong... oh, and a couple of nuclear power plants
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 15, 2018
(WMBF Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Because it apparently still needs to be said: Don't run generators indoors
source: wmbfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
If you don't speak the language they won't serve you in the Hialeah Taco Bell. Difficulty: Spanish
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
U.S. Border Patrol agent and freelance serial killer captured after his 5th victim was able to escape. Trump pardon and promotion to head of ICE in 3...2
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Moths swarm French town. I was told there would be no moth
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
So apparently there's this culture of never getting out of bed and people more than happy to profit from it. Your dog wants sunshine
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop the forgotten Apollo 7 astronauts doing whatever the fark they are doing
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bradenton Herald)
 
 
 
Now I'm no Ms. Manners, but I'm pretty sure that wearing an inmate's ear on a necklace at the mess hall after Labor Day is just a tad gauche
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Good: Your police department sees a dramatic drop in use-of-force incidents. Bad: Because your cops aren't reporting them
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Squarespace)
 
 
 
Photoshop this summer sunset
source: static1.squarespace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"Congratulations, your DNA results show you have 12 per cent Abanaki and eight per cent Mohawk ancestry." "Wow, did you hear that Bojangles? You're part Native American" "Woof." *wags tail*
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Bull escapes Utah veterinarian before circumcision, last seen running balls out
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Man makes whopper of a 911 call after Burger King refuses to honor coupon, police arrive to find out what his beef is. Okay, which one of you Cleveland Farkers is writing copy?
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSET)
 
 
 
In times of struggle, strife, and turmoil, you can take comfort in knowing that there are always people out there making things worse
source: wset.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Lawrence mayor says the Columbia Gas company has no sense of urgency, still hasn't explained what caused the explosions. Someone needs to light a fire under them
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"I regret my decision to ride out Hurricane Florence," says idiot in hindsight
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good Housekeeping)
 
 
 
And the moral of the story is never have kids, amirite?
source: goodhousekeeping.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Mariachi gunmen shoot up tourist area in Mexico City, killing three. Police looking for suspects carrying guitar cases full of guns
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Drunk, threatening the airline flight crew, and assaulting the arresting police is no way to go through life, son
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
San Francisco Bay Area Farkers: Tie one on with me this Saturday at Whitechapel
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Columbian)
 
 
 
You can whip it, but maybe you shouldn't while being chased by the police
source: columbian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Do not try this at home. Or on a playground. Or anywhere
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Fingerpainting
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
That woman who let Trump use the murder of her daughter at the hands of MS-13 as a marketing tool for his "fear the browns" policy was just killed at her daughter's roadside memorial after being hit by a cat while arguing in the street
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"In the face of one of the worst storms the Carolinas have ever seen, 55 amazing people took time out of their own preparations to help our dogs and cats". Everyone stay safe on Caturday
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Think before you flush: There are now 50,000,000 goldfish in Lake Ontario
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Teenage boy jumps out of Zipper at area carnival. Subby reminded of the first halter top he saw back in the '70s
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Step 1: Break into Family Dollar during Florence, Step 2: Steal 5 cases of beer, dishwasher detergent pods and 5 bags of chips, Step 3: Call police to say that your house has been broken into and be drinking the beer when the cops show up to investigate
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Texas schools censor Hillary Clinton and Helen Keller from curriculum
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
RV sales guy looking for fat commission: "This RV is $250,000." Florida man checks his pockets and looks around, "Um, Will ya take a third party post dated check and throw in the floor mats?". RV guy, "This is your lucky day"
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The news this past week was horrifying. I found something funny that may make some of you farkers laugh
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Harvard Business Review)
 
 
 
How to cause an apocalyptic global financial collapse from the comfort of your mom's basement
source: hbr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 14, 2018
(Vox)
 
 
 
Oregon schools on dress codes: Trans what? Cys who? Skinny jorts? Afros? Let's make this simple: "cover your parts." Done. Now go back to learning, staying offa my lawn
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
GOP Rep puts on cop apologist master class: "If the police shot my child, I would blame myself for raising a punk"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
A brass plaque dedicated to a convicted cannibal hangs in the National Press Club, and that's not even the craziest part of the story
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
This might not be what you have in mind if you go for a job interview and they want you to talk about your last position
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Slayer fan says she had "the time of her life" after fellow fans helped push her wheelchair into a mosh pit
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
6-year-old boy is banned from school because his mohawk could "poke someone's eye out"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Incompetent doctor on an NCL cruise ship caused an employee to require amputation
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this turtle
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
J turn in Range Rover goes as expected
source: speedsociety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Is it really stealing if you decide to keep 11 pounds of marijuana that washed up on the beach?
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Weather channel meteorologist reporting on Florence's heavy winds gets photo bombed in the best or worst way possible (w/video)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Director of the National Solar Observatory, which was swarmed by FBI agents and closed last week, claims that it wasn't because they'd spotted aliens. Cigarette-smoking man standing behind him nods in agreement
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Headline correction: Shirtless idiot from Florida stands in the wind with a flag
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Caption this judgmental mountain goat
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this racer
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Some plausible origin stories for the upcoming Antarctic Ice Zombie Invasion
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Houston, we have a "skeeter" problem
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGUN 9 Tucson)
 
 
 
Sorry, but your Real Doll™ does not qualify you to use the HOV lane
source: kgun9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Caption this reporter dousing
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Man upset at his roommate's friends being loud throws knife, achieves bullseye
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
You can now buy the place where that business got out of control and you were lucky to live through it
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
International Space Station 'drill hole' mystery gets bigger after more 'deliberate' drill damage is discovered on spacecraft. Small gremlins now ruled out
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The last time Paul Manafort tweeted
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Hundreds are stranded in cars and on rooftops awaiting rescue as Hurricane Florence comes ashore. If only someone had warned these people a storm was coming and told them to get out of the way
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(McClatchy DC)
 
 
 
"Overall, only 9 percent of households in South Carolina and 3 percent in North Carolina carried federal flood insurance as of mid-2017". Well good thing they never get hit by hurricanes or heavy rains then, innit?
source: mcclatchydc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
We interrupt the Carolinas being hammered by a hurricane to bring you the Philippines being hammered by a super typhoon
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Don't just feed it to your food, cut out the middleman and add bacon bits and low-fat dressing. Grab your fork for the Fark Weird News Quiz, Aug 26-Sept. 1 Eat A Damn Salad Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Police looking for nude suspect wearing a hat. The suspect is wearing a hat. Repeat, wearing a hat
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wow 24/7)
 
 
 
Photoshop this summer tobogganing
source: wow247.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Now THAT was too much tuna
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NOAA)
 
 
 
Here I am .... Rock you like a multi-liquored cocktail This is your Friday Hurricane Florence morning landfall thread
source: nhc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Were you feeling bad about that black man who was killed in his apartment by an off-duty Dallas police officer? Well not to worry, cops found about half an ounce of marijuana in his apartment so, you know... you can stop now
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Good news NYC Straphangers, the MTA's Twitter account responded to a tweet about subway delays saying it will take "the next 5-10 years" to fix. So you have that going for you
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
After 20 years, tiny, remote island's "crime-free" record comes to an end, as residents say the theft has taken atoll on them
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Jeff Fager, executive producer of 60 Minutes, to CBS reporter investigating him: If you keep this up, someone's going to be fired. CBS to Fager: That someone is you, dumbass
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Imagine needing to have your appendix removed just to be able to live in your city? Welcome to Villa Las Estrellas, a small Chilean settlement in Antarctica
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
A stereotype of a Fox News reader writes an opinion piece: "Here's why I'm NOT evacuating"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Parents upset after kids are given breadsticks as main entree for school lunch. Fark: Department of Education says it's a valid lunch option
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Hormone therapy involving estrogen and progesterone derived from a plant source might make it vegan, but it might also indicate that your doctor is a con artist
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
The Renaissance Festival in Michigan got a little too realistic, as health officials are now recommending that everybody who attended over Labor Day get the hepatitis vaccine
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Now we ride out the storm. This is your overnight Hurricane Florence thread
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 13, 2018
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
If shooting at imaginary clowns is wrong I don't want to be right
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Break-in news: TV crew reporting on car break-ins in San Francisco has two cars broken into
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Everyone coming into the U.S. to do some long weekend shopping, pull forward. Whoa there, not so fast, legal cannabis industry employee
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Then I realized it was real
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Squarespace)
 
 
 
Photoshop this impending beer
source: static1.squarespace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Article on how to find free housing with Airbnb if you're evacuating from hurricane Florence. Be safe, fellow Farkers. May you all be able to get out of harm's way
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Watch Florence come in from 'Frying Pan Cam' located 34 miles off the Carolina coast (Update: youtubers have named the torn flag "Kevin" for some reason) [Headphone warning - there's a reason it's called the Frying Pan Cam]
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Gas line decides to do what many Massholes only dream of: blowing up Lawrence
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Vatican orders probe into US bishop. Sounds uncomfortable, but you reap what you sow
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this apartment wall climber and his little sidekick
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Seeing Florence from space is a sobering thing. Especially when you realize you're in space. One minute you're drinking, next thing you know, you're in orbit, sober. Christ, not again
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fancy a trip to Papua New Guinea? There's an abandoned boat off its coast that reportedly has £27 million worth of cocaine hidden inside. All you have to do is find it before the smugglers and police do. Who's up for it?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
While everyone else evacuates, North Carolina Zoo animals and veterinarians to ride out Hurricane Florence. So if you notice a rhino or tiger in your backyard, that's probably where it came from
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Family's pet tortoise escapes. Police searching in an expanded perimeter of about five houses away in all directions
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Tokyo Boy Scout not only rose to Eagle Scout, he also earned all 137 Merit Badges AND gamed BSA system to max out on number of Eagle Palms awarded. Boy, this kid loves scouting
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
"Hello, this is the Sheriff. You have a warrant for your arrest, so I demand that you buy me some gift cards. I prefer Amazon, Walmart, and those ones where you can pick from five shiatty restaurants"
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Florence news coverage intensifies to "profiles of people defying evacuation orders" level. Has any journalist ever done post-storm follow-ups on these?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KY3 Springfield)
 
 
 
KY3 explains the controversial Uranus Examiner. Jelly
source: ky3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
At the least the Soviets made up good cover stories. These guys may as well have claimed they were in Salisbury for the steak
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Remember the 30-year-old whose parents had to evict him? He's going before the Supreme Court to try and get his child support payments reduced. Apparently you don't get a job if you don't look for one
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
South Korean men are employing a variation of the Nugent Defense to avoid military service
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Hotel patron charged for trying to give the housekeeper cash
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
I'm not saying it's aliens, but...
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this corral
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Sorry Sharknado fans, Hurricane Florence is NOT filled with flying sharks
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Here's what happens when you screw over the campaign staff running your website
source: harrisforcalifornia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenville Online)
 
 
 
As for the North Carolinian planning to ride out Florence on his boat, there are 50-50 odds he dies and 50-50 odds he winds up in a Jimmy Buffett song
source: greenvilleonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NOAA)
 
 
 
Don't be lulled into a false sense of security. Despite a minor downgrade Hurricane Florence will be extremely dangerous as high winds, rain and surging will last all day, unlike previous hurricanes. This is your Thursday Hurricane Florence thread
source: nhc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Tea shop owners painting over unsightly graffiti learn halfway through that they're destroying a Banksy
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The Sistine Chapel Choir is under investigation for "financial irregularities." Hey, at least it doesn't involve children, right?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
What did you do today, Dad? Not much, carried a $2.5 billion spiral notepad across town
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
On the one hand, we should congratulate someone who puts a plan into effect and has the sheer gumption to work at it for hours and hours until it succeeds. On the other hand, the plan was 'get arrested for throwing rocks at cars'
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
It's nice to see NYPD cops continuing their tradition of serving themselves
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
When you have more faith in Waffle House's hurricane response than the president's
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 697: "Fruits and Vegetables 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 12, 2018
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Hmm. The administration that supported Roy Moore sure does seem to love hanging onto caged migrant children, with the number exploding from 2,400 to 12,800 since May 2017 -- the highest number ever recorded
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Russia wants to sign a peace treaty with Japan formally ending WWII. No this is not a repeat from 1946
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Got anything really stupid and dangerous you've been wanting to do? This might be your big opportunity, as it looks like Darwin is about to be completely preoccupied in North Carolina for a while
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bristol, England to become the first British city to have ZERO smokers. Also the first UK city to have a half million people on a nicotine patch, chewing nicotine gum, vaping
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest Indiana Times)
 
 
 
Couple's crime spree of supermarket robberies, flipped over cars and beaten women ends when one of them tries to carjack bodybuilder; "There was a definite size difference"
source: nwitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
83-foot waves. EIGHTY-THREE
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
What better way to cope with your "anxiety" than masturbating at 2:30 AM inside a laundromat while watching porn on your phone?
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Publishers Weekly)
 
 
 
What is a "True" Atheist? A historian breaks it down
source: publishersweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this maritime disaster
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Today's threat for France to surrender to: Militant Vegans
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"Lizard man" caught riding dirty with illegal venomous Gila monsters (that were in the middle of escaping) and trunk full of crocodiles. Cops say he's lucky to be alive
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
To hell with the pig poop and coal ash about to Flo, there are two at-risk nuclear plants in the path
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bird brawl
source: yourshot.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
As of today, Children born after 9/11 are eligible to enlist to fight the war the attack started
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A look back at Texas spinal surgeon, "Dr. Death," whose malpractice was so bad he got a life sentence for aggravated assault against his patients. How he had a career for so long using that nickname is unclear (not for the squeamish)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMBF Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Sure, we've seen mandatory evacuations and states of emergency declared so far, but now we know things are looking really bad: the Waffle House just closed
source: wmbfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
Video
 
You know you're in Australia when a pair of pythons crash through a home's ceiling while fighting for dominance, and the whole episode is being calmly filmed and narrated by an Aussie woman who call the snakes "a bit naughty"
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
D.A. won't file charges against friends who uploaded video of themselves puppeteering body of O.D.'d friend with ropes while moving his mouth to the "Toy Story" theme song. Unknown when they'll receive NEA Grant
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Don't worry, but Hurricane Florence's expected path will take it directly into nine - count 'em, nine - EPA Superfund sites
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
"But the attempted monkey heist was ultimately foiled by the fact that monkeys are not just hairy little children with tails. They are savage acrobats that will beat the living piss out of anyone who wanders into their territory unannounced"
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Middle class income is finally back to where it was in 2000. You fell asleep reading this after working your second job
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Six years ago, the government of North Carolina officially barred the use of up-to-date climate science for planning. Tune in six days from now to see how that turns out
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Florence's heavy rains could cause environmental disaster in North Carolina, where waste from hog manure pits, coal ash dumps and industrial sites could threaten drinking water supplies
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Spa's "Vampire facials" may have spread illness among customers, smiles among vampires
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Florence is not alone. This hurricane season is beginning to look like a non-stop circus
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Man buys Slim Jims for his dog, buys a lottery ticket that was worth $10 million
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
"It was about 40 feet long," man claims while taking video of 2 square feet of stones and some water
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Hiker found dead was likely killed by cougar, according to officials who point to empty wine bottles and a lingering scent of Dolce & Gabbana
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Man with samurai sword arrested during break-in at Jamba Juice store
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Have you ever had any sort of recurring nightmare about one of those massive Jumbotrons in a stadium suddenly crashing down on the people below them? Oh, you have? OK, you might not want to click this link, then
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Geriatricians are calling for more research into how marijuana affects the Olds. Your grandpa just wants to Netflix and chill
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Catholic Reporter)
 
 
 
Pope Francis summons the world's bishops to Rome for a flogging
source: ncronline.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop whatever this dog is doing
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
YMCA Snow Mountain Ranch welcomes new recruits for its sled team on this Woofday Wetnose Waggin' Wednesday
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
Weeners
 
That's a p...retty big storm
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Truck driver films police cruiser taking up two lanes on the highway while traveling 10 mph below the speed limit. Can expect to be pulled over every mile for the rest of his career
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Well, who hasn't been tempted to refill the minibar bottles with pee?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
For those in hurricane zone this is your last full day to get out and into safety. AirBnB is offering places to stay for free. Don't be afraid to take up the offers of fellow Farkers. This is your Wednesday get out of Dodge Hurricane Florence thread
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
In sign of solidarity, document leak reveals LDS church treats children the same as the Catholic church
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox News: "There's no better symbol to represent America today than an upside down flag"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
On 9/11 a NYC task force of NYFD and NYPD is headed to North Carolina ahead of Florence
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRG Mobile)
 
 
 
Florida man attacks neighbor with chainsaw over shrub dispute
source: wkrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
$20,000 worth of dog food, leashes, chains stolen from Ohio animal charity. Police have no leads
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Woman tries to burn good Samaritans by asking for donations to help her firefighter husband. Which would be fine if her husband were a firefighter or if she had a husband
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Japan News)
 
 
 
Citizens unhappy that their local "haunted" dam is destination for thrillseekers who wish to test their courage and cause trouble, solve problem by playing happy superhero music on loudspeaker when dam is approached by night
source: the-japan-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 11, 2018
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Will NC's wild horses perish in the hurricane? Our sources say neigh
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Hurricane Florence undergoing eyewall replacement, has better healthcare than most Americans
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
*looks left* *looks right* YOU'RE TELLING ME
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
North Carolinians likely to have trouble, however, when the floodwater hits their hog farm waste lagoons
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Man born without penis gets fitted with bionic dong, loses virginity at 45 (NSFW)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: We're spilling the dirt on one of your fellow Farkers
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scrum
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
That OBX sticker on your car may soon be a collectible
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC Earth)
 
 
 
Scientists are trying to figure out how to convince whales to have sex, say dick pics and axe spray can only do so much
source: bbcearth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State)
 
 
 
South Carolina governor orders mandatory evacuation rather than gamble even one life, but also amends state law to specify that inmates in coastal prisons are not legally alive
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Neighbors dispute account of Officer Shooty McLost. Knocking, a woman's voice saying, "Let me in. Let me in," then gunshots, then, "Oh my god, why did you do that?"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
PETA statement: "PETA is still looking for options to place our new billboard in Baltimore to remind everyone that crabs are sensitive, feeling animals who do not want to die." Mmmmm. Steamed crabs
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
South and North Carolina Farkers evacuating from Hurricane Florence can camp at Atlanta Motor Speedway
source: amp.wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: a bear, a chair, and a mare
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Largest gold nugget in history found in Australian mine, immediately tries to kill everyone (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Ryanair passengers rack up lines of cocaine on tray table, are immediately charged $25 snorting fee
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Mayor of Dubbo advises Prince Harry to 'Get in there with your fingers'
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Norwich Bulletin)
 
 
 
Connecticut man, claiming to be state police commander, offers to fix DWI for 'beers and shrimp cocktail'
source: norwichbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Come Together will never sound the same after you read this article about the Beatles and the words "Winston Churchill"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
They've been warning everyone that a hurricane is coming for a week so here come the obligatory stories about people who waited until the last minute to get supplies and are shocked to find there's nothing left
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
It's not a solemn 9/11 anniversary without a good British tabloid story about the 'Ghosts of 9/11 victims' rising out of the ashes of the twin towers (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you live in Frederick, MD, be warned -- those aren't rain puddles
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Body shop builds life-size 'Cars' and Ghostbuster vehicles
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Couples driven wild by "Golden Arch" sex position which guarantees better orgasms. I, for one, am lovin' it (NSFW)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Amidst all the other news of the day, one tag stands out to lift your spirits like the 10 bystanders that lifted a car off of a person trapped beneath it
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
♪ And I said, what about breakfast in Arabia? She said I think I might get you arrested ♪
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man loses life savings when bitcoin crashes. In other news, there are people who have their life savings in bitcoin
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
"Grab your guns. And your umbrella-guns, and your beer, and your beer-guns, and your tiny umbrellas to keep your beer dry, and join people all along the East Coast in scaring away Hurricane Florence to protect our country from this foreign invader"
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAVY Virginia)
 
 
 
When even the Navy is evacuating the Atlantic fleet ahead of Hurricane Florence, you're going to have a bad time
source: wavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sure Florence looks bad on all those colored weather map thingies, but, from space, she looks like...well, the opening eye of a very angry god
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Post and Courier)
 
 
 
Interstate 26 in Charleston is now one way only on both sides. (pic)
source: postandcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Elon Musk puts down the bong long enough to realize making cars is hard, and that maybe it would be easier if they stopped offering complicated options like "colors"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Man slowly stole $5 million from employer over 10-year period, used it to make crappy movies
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Where were you when the planes hit the twin towers? Link goes to original Fark thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this under-construction statue
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Can someone please pick up the space courtesy phone, it seems aliens are trying to reach us again (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Meteorologist addresses Association of LGBTQ Journalists convention as "ladies and gentlemen, things and its." Was that wrong?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Discovery of dog saves Oregon man from sex-crime conviction. Also, we're giving people 50-year sentences based on convictions by juries that are not unanimous
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
New Florida law (pushed by Mike Huckabee) allows any person who owns beachfront property to declare that beach closed to the public. Go see the ocean somewhere else, peasant
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Red calf born in Israel fulfills prophecy of the end times, claim people who easily fall for red bullshiat (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Still a slight chance the storm could drift out to sea as nothing is certain with weather, but it's looking like the hurricane will make landfall. This is your Tuesday Hurricane Florence thread with updates and kind Farkers offering places to stay
source: amp.charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Australian cartoonist: "Jim Crow? Never met him. Besides you're the real racist for pointing out my racism"
source: au.sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(McSweeney's)
 
 
 
On the anniversary of 9/11, here is a piece by John Hodgman written two weeks after the terror attacks that offers a sobering prospective on what happened--and how we must face the future together
source: mcsweeneys.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Turns out the Dallas apartment guy ignored "verbal commands" of the person breaking in. So we're cool, right?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Man getting bitten by 11-foot gator while retrieving golf disc from pond in Clearwater's Cliff Stephens Park shouldn't have surprised anyone, since that pond connects to ever popular Alligator Lake
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The latest reason the D.C. Metro is failing is... *throws chicken bones* ...Pensions are too expensive. Sorry, workers, your retirement's just gonna have to go for us to get these trains running
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
The store's loss prevention manager received a tip that an employee had been eating three to five slices of ham nearly every day over eight years. Authorities say she also sometimes ate salami
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Just watch till these dogs done gotta learn em some American, yo
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
You'd be nicer if you had health care
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 10, 2018
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Dear America: Please stop putting weed killer in our Cheerios. Or yours for that matter. Thank you, Canada
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
The most likely time to find a spider in your house is 7:35 pm
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Three hurricanes at once make Atlantic Ocean appear insane from space
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and his son
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) brings you a 2 hour sampling of songs that peaked in the month of September. Earth, Wind & Fire's 'September' wasn't one of them
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Actual headline: 'Yall can't let me have no fun' Self-fondler arrested in South Memphis
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Come drown your sorrows at this Austrian castle as you hop into a pool full of beer. "Drinking from the pool is ill-advised"
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
A man allegedly offered parents cash to buy their 13-year-old daughter near Faneuil Hall. Suspect is short, stocky, wearing a black suit, fedora hat, wearing sunglasses and has J-A-K-E tattooed on his hand
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
Man told deputies he stole an ambulance because he "needed a car." Since it's Florida, this makes perfect sense
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Air Force not sure what to do about Elon Musk smoking weed
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Increased rate of STDs in Boise region linked to private Idahos
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rat
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you're planning to escape from a burglary on a bicycle, downing 24 beers and a bottle of Jägermeister beforehand will likely make it difficult
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Columbia)
 
NewsFlash
 
Entire South Carolina coastline evacuation ordered by Governor. GTFO and fast
source: abccolumbia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Kids are so precious, like when they take your drugs from your hiding place and show them to the cops during your traffic stop
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 12 Westchester)
 
 
 
Note to Self: Do not attempt to pull off 10 home burglaries while wearing a GPS ankle monitor provided by the Police
source: longisland.news12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Pro tip: when stealing an ATM machine from the convenience store try not to drive into the side of the big city bus
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
United pilot strips off uniform in front of passengers and proceeds to take a nap. "I've travelled to the US many times and have never witnessed this"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
That sound you hear is the giant petanques of the lawn bowlers who stopped a Parisian knife attack
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
That way to Cinicinn... Cinnicici... dammit... Cincinnati
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Dayton News)
 
 
 
Air Force Colonel arrested for disorderly conduct at a Boy George and Culture Club and Thompson Twins' Tom Bailey show. Asked the police if they really wanted to hurt him. Afterwards asked to see the doctor doctor
source: mydaytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Two men arrested and charged with misdeweiners after naked jet-ski taunting
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
I don't want to alarm you folks in North Carolina, but Jim Cantore has been spotted in Wilmington. Been nice knowing you
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
A rat pulled a fire alarm causing an entire condo building in Washington, DC to be evacuated. In other news, Washington, DC has rats that know how to pull fire alarms
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Now you can experience the illusion of having breasts without that pesky surgery, or something
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Blissful Ignorance Commemorated On Annual 9/10 Anniversary
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Good news Brits, concerning the new chilly weather you're having, millions of false widow spiders are invading your homes for their eight-legged sex-fest because of the cold
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Man discovers new kind of rock that glows under black light. Geologists speculate that the rock is composed of Grateful Dead posters and old hotel bedspreads
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Student hires maid, private chef, butler, 3 footman, house manager, chauffeur, 3 housekeepers and a gardener to start uni
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Photoshop this archer
source: i.dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Football player now just a ball player after encounter with train
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The secret shame of having clean gym socks
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The 'ol reset the clock button gets another push
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Journal)
 
 
 
Can a prisoner be held for a few hours of processing after being acquitted?
source: edmontonjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Finally a 1,000-year-old Bible map has been found to prove to you heathens that Jesus was real (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
To: Nicole; CC: Nicole A; Nicole B, Nico... (+243 others). Re:Last night
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Public Radio Tulsa)
 
 
 
Not news: Subway station temporarily closes. Also not news: Subway station reopens after temporary closure. Fark: 17 years later
source: publicradiotulsa.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
These are only a small percentage of links submitted. Join TotalFark to see them all!

Link archives »






On Twitter




In Other Media
X
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.