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| Sun September 02, 2018 |
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Woman gets into random stranger's car, mistaking it for an Uber. Which is also known as getting into a random stranger's car
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Thousands of hungry children, oh boo-hoo. Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?
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Falling from grace, as they say
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Opinionated doctor discovers that replies to questions from medical journals sometimes get published
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Big ghostly ship / with drifting motion / brave Navy sleuths / upon the ocean / Burma wave
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| (Some History) |
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Photoshop this plate revealing
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Border Patrol officials mindlessly following the strict letter of the law make life hell for a town smack on the USA/Canada border. Tabarnac
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Man steals hearse with body inside. He said the keys were inside, and hey, free corpse
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Massive, disgusting chemical bomb explodes in Texas
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"Your hole is our goal" - the rudest advertising slogans
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Clarkson and May have really gone too far this time
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New general takes over in Afghanistan. This will be wrapped up any day now
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| (Some House) |
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Photoshop this cozy cottage
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To save Houston, we must destroy some of it. Why not all, I say
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The 911 tapes from Barbecue Becky's call about the black family grilling in a park have been released, and the 911 dispatcher openly questioned her mental fitness
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Fish not quite fresh enough? No problem
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"Hairdresser and boyfriend stabbed as they slept by cocaine-fueled burglar." Remember, kids: Never sleep near a cocaine-fueled burglar. Find a safer place to sleep
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Cause of New Mexico semi-trailer accident: the front fell off
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Fark Maui Attempt 2 - Sept 2 6 PM Maui Brewing Kihei
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Daily Fail: The Norfolk police force closes cases if a computer decides there is no chance of making an arrest. Police force responds: Norfolking way
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This kid loves Fortnite so much he headbutted his mom over it
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No problem, BFF. We will drink a few beers and go shoot up the house of the woman who left the bad review about your mom's restaurant. SOLVED
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CSB Sunday Morning: What September means to you
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Photoshop these rings
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First 'sex robot' movie hits screens and is being called 'the next big thing'
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Meanwhile, in white people news
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Kooky Bible museum buys a bunch of a Torah scrolls to use improperly in museum and to get a huge tax write-off, just like Jesus wanted
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Hello? This is fish
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| (Some Guy) |
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California passes a bill to make the police departments transparent and hold cops accountable for their actions
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Excavation for new Australian subway has been like pulling teeth... as workers find 1,000 of them
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Hawaiian Airlines passengers discover that sneaking an illegal can of pepper spray into the cabin is nothing to sneeze at
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| Sat September 01, 2018 |
| (Some Guy) |
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DOJ's Rosenstein promises a swift crackdown on any safe injection sites, so everyone should just keep overdosing in private like they currently do
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Cape Cod beaches are great places for tourists, young sharks to meet. Includes pic of sharks lining up at dinner table
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Another Saturday night and I still miss soosh. In five days it will be the anniversary of losing that gentle, talented, bear of a man. Any suggestions for an appropriate tribute? Hopefully this'll go green because the Liters loved him more than TF
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Burning man officials take steps to keep people from taking the event too literally
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Just in case you're still on the fence about how scary Australia is because of its wildlife, here's the scariest places in the country to seal the deal
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America's for-profit health care system is generating record profits
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Photoshop these Blue Men
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Airline passenger: The man next to me kept masturbating. Airline: Would $75 make you forget you saw it?
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Pennsylvania peeved at pet leasing
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Bishop apologizes for groping Ariana Grande during Aretha Franklin's funeral, making Bill Clinton hella jealous
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Let's look and see how America killed this thing called transit, shall we?
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I'll have my drive-thru extra rare please
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On the 33rd anniversary of the wreckage being discovered, let's check out what the Titanic looks like today
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"Hey man, what's in this shiat?" "Mostly Maui Wowie, man. But it's got some Labrador"
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Photoshop these two fencers
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Jackass being held on multiple charges for pouring flour on old woman's head at Walmart. Street value of the white powder could be in the millions
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Woman arrested after attempting to car jack bus
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Employees steal 90% of critters, leave uniforms stabbed on walls at insectarium. Hey, they didn't half-ass this one at least
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What do U.S. diplomats and Hot Pockets have in common?
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Career forecast for female TV meteorologist who fractured colleague's skull in a bar fight is very cloudy
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Mother of the Year candidate arrested for killing her two children had the damning "How to commit the perfect murder" Google search come up in her history
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French fishermen vow to shoot cows with trebuchets at the Brits if they have to in the next Channel clash in their ongoing scallop war (possible nsfw content on page)
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NBC News denies it is in the middle of eating a shiat sandwich
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Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night nor being 99 years old stays Luther from the swift completion of his six mile daily walk to visit his wife in the hospital
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At least someone found a new job using LinkedIn - spying on the US for the Chinese
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Today's Fark-ready headline: "California senator agrees to discontinue 'fun-loving' noogie practices"
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Women fight for right to go braless in the workplace
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Photoshop this wasteful plastic bagging
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Police department pays tribute to one of its fallen heroes, and well-wishes pour in from around the country: "O. Cone was run over and crushed by an unknown suspect, as his four other cone co-workers watched in frozen horror"
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Cat's Cradle Sanctuary is not like most shelters - they only take senior felines that have no chance of being adopted. Caturday approves
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Happy 20th birthday, American Girl's Puberty Bible "The Care and Keeping of You"
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Anyone want a peanut butter and (soaked with the blood of innocents) banana sandwich?
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The biggest ass in town gets new home
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Crack epidemic along California's Highway 1
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South Korea has banned coffee from all classrooms, even for teachers. In the U.S. that would be grounds for a lawsuit
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| Fri August 31, 2018 |
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Driving this Labor Day weekend? Behold 6 strange signs to look out for
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Brit lad doesn't think his cunning canal jumping challenge all the way through, regrets it instantly (possible nsfw content on page)
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Man about to turn 100 gets skydive off his bucket list. Just in time
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Following the rousing success of the pre-Memorial Day weekend speed traps, Troopers cast net on same stretch of highway just before Labor Day and snag 80 speeders Friday morning alone so far
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Let's check what it's like living in the White House. Here are a bunch of presidential descendants to share with us
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Saudi Arabia to begin digging friendship ditch between it and Qatar (possible nsfw content on page)
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Naked man leads police on foot chase after abandoning stolen truck. Suspect will no doubt be taken for a psychiatric hold, since everyone could clearly see the guy's nuts
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Photoshop this tremendous goal
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'Operation Golden Ticket': five arrested in crime ring led by man nicknamed Willy Wonka
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Baltimore ranks as the top city again and yup, it's not a good thing
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If you're an American on the ISS, you may wish to come down before next April
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China's lakes turning bright green due to animal waste. No word what their animals are eating
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Not sure which massage school this guy went to, but we're pretty sure putting the scrotum in your mouth is not a standard massage move. Or at least costs extra
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If you dropped off five pounds of marijuana at a donation box, the police would like to have a word with you
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Nobody F's With DeJesus
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Scientists declare that children should be kept in rear-facing car seats for as long as possible. *sigh* Look, last week you were saying to *not* leave them in the car. Make up your damn minds already
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It's never good when a dad calls his teen daughter and says, "We gotta bury a body" (with that's-a-hard-18 mugshot)
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Helium shortage hits Party City hard. You could always use hydrogen. Oh, the humanity
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Photoshop Best Korea's weightlifter
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Wyoming traffic stop yields 1,849 pounds of marijuana, with a street value of $7.3 million for idiots who don't know that Colorado is next door
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Chick-fil-A giving away free nuggets for the next month. Hey, kid, the first one's free *snicker*
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Old and busted: Kiki challenge with car. New hotness: Kiki challenge with cow
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The race for mayor of Hilton Head SC includes a self-described "Holocaust revisionist" AND a self-proclaimed "admirer of Hitler." Which could REALLY split the Neo-Nazi vote in the upcoming election, except one of them is black
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Fetus found in grocery store prompts investigation, cleanup on aisle five
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How much chuck could a Publix chuck, if that ground chuck could be yuck?
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Florida couple arrested after constructing heroin dealing drive-thru out of the kitchen window of their mobile home, complete with signs to the house, and an open/closed sign with a clock showing what time they open
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A routine traffic stop eventually leads police to seize more than 70 complete or partial shrapnel-laced pipe bombs at the home of a former Marine. Is it "former" or "Ex-" when you are facing 70 felony weapons possession counts? I always forget
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| (Some Guy) |
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Police have investigated the cause of 7 pedestrian deaths and determined that pedestrians are lazy
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"Go Topless Day" features women taking to the streets across the world to fight for... well, it doesn't really matter since you've probably already clicked the link (NSFW)
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FDA feels the need to warn against eating liquid nitrogen because people are apparently doing this
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Hometown pride, you MMFarker
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| (Phark) |
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Caption this phunny phone photo
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Thieves raid store of only right foot shoes
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College to students: Go kill yourself somewhere else
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Preventable falls among seniors reaches epidemic proportions. On the bright side, at least they're being protected from the Terrible Secret of Space
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Why were there so many serial killers in the 1980s? One researcher claims it was the result of World War II, and not parachute pants being in fashion like we might otherwise suspect
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Aggressive shoplifter threatening employees taken down with one punch by bystander. Police, martial arts movie studio executives hoping to talk to him
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Sexual assaults on planes generally occur after the cabin lights have dimmed, and are usually perpetrated against passengers in middle or window seats. So expect airlines to start charging more for aisle seating
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All the new people and camps have ruined Burning Man this year, just like they have every year since 1988; it's kinda the point
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Beef or pork? Hard or soft shell? Cold cheese above the lettuce or melted into the meat? Grab your hot sauce and take the Weekly Weird News Quiz, August 19-25 Tacos Aren't Just For Tuesday Edition
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Where should I open a brewery? I know, next door to that Native American Rehabilitation Association treatment center
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In England, 16-year-olds can down a pint in a pub, but under a new government proposal, it would be illegal for them to buy an energy drink like Red Bull at the corner shop
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Photoshop theme: Design a new hazard symbol
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Man loses arm in motorcycle drag race. No, really, they can't find it
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Moooooove over you wannabe Casanovas, a man who really knows how to pull the udders proposes to his girlfriend by writing on the side of her favorite cow
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A judge ordered a New Jersey couple Thursday to give a homeless Philadelphia man whatever's left of the $400,000 they raised for him
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8chan fake list of Antifa people goes to Stormfront goes to Louisiana State Police goes to Baton Rouge Police leads to "confidential investigation" stonewalling leads to lawsuit by Harvard Law School guy
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How NBC tried to stop #Metoo from happening
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Remember that World War II sea mine that mysteriously appeared in Puget Sound a couple days ago? It was an inert replica the Navy submerged in the Sound in 2005 for a technology demonstration
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The story of how a teenage Syrian refugee ended up moving to the US, going to college in America, and making it dusty in here
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Normally you shouldn't let your kids play with a stranger or let them get in his car, but this is an exception to that rule
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Australian Catholic church rejects the idea of mandatory reporting when people discuss child molestation in confession
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| (Some Guy) |
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Local funeral home to host a celebration to the death of summer
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Trial's postponed. Moose out front beat the shiat out of me
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Boy sucked into sewer by floodwaters saved. Pennywise inconsolable
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| Thu August 30, 2018 |
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If being dropped out of a plane into a lake is less stressful for trout than previous methods, then it's worth asking, what on Earth were the previous methods?
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This looks deepfaked. I can tell from some of the blinks and from seeing quite a few deepfakes in my time
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Even Chicago's water is exploding in violence
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Richard Jones sues Kansas for over $1M compensation for 17 years he spent in prison because he was confused with a similar-looking guy. Will use the money to kickstart his "ED-209" program so this doesn't happen again
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If you're going to kidnap a baby, you better come up with a better escape plan than walking up the interstate
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College student busted impersonating a doctor at a children's hospital. Neil Patrick Harris not amused
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Photoshop this unamused ketteh
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That Nova Scotia sinkhole now has its own twitter account, and has inspired a song
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Hey, wanna click through a 63-slide slideshow to find out which major American city has the highest murder rate? No? OK, just checking
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Normally, a story about a man stealing a woman's body from a funeral parlor would lead you to think he was up to no good. Not in this case
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Luke Skywalker has a new padawan, still never picked up his power converters
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Tesla driver charged after 100-foot jump caught on camera
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| (NewsHub) |
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People a bit freaked out by Tinder profile that basically implies that the lady wants a partner for spare parts
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Despite decades of innovation, technology has never truly solved the Scoonthorpe Problem
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Parents get kids new cell phone number that they didn't know previously belonged to a prostitute
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"Package not delivered. Reason: Bear in driveway"
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Face it son, there's no way you can hack it as a construction worker in Oregon without attending Bible classes. We're firing you to save you
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Tennis Match: Summer Vacation Edition
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Biden delivers moving eulogy for McCain. If McCain were alive today, he'd probably say, well, I guess he'd say "Let me the f*ck out of this casket," but still. Beautiful eulogy
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Military supplier of everything from tomatoes and potatoes to eggs and ranch dressing gets an unexpected ICE-free visit from Air Force Special Investigations, Defense Criminal Investigation Service, and DHS. Twitter hurricane imminent
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If you're buying gold dust from a guy at an Extended Stay America, it's probably a scam
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Mass brawl starts on plane after drunk woman "gets her boobs out and starts giving lads lapdances"
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Son of fired Louisville AD complains that the 20 years of free tickets the family has been given are in such a lousy location that they can't even see the hookers
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Proud New Yorkers open Snapchat and their Weather Channel apps to find their city has been renamed
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CALLING ALL MILLENNIALS: Scientists want to pay you to eat avocados every day for six months. No word yet on trophies, but AVOCADOS
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Man applies for and gets coveted SMEGMA vanity license plate. Mrs. Premise and Mrs. Conclusion still waiting for approval
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Any Fark regulars missing today?
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Some women go to the gym to help them gain body confidence, some go to this woman who makes casts of their genitals to help them gain body confidence (not safe for work images)
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"Empty bags typically are stored in pantries as opposed to rectums"
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Car rocking back and forth yields teens with marijuana nuggets, scales. Not what you thought it was, right?
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A young Marseille fan is invited to take part in the ceremonial kick-off against Rennes, which involves kicking the ball once, but instead goes rogue and dribbles the length of the pitch, scores and celebrates
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Celebrities are now showing off "body modifications" that look like abnormal growths. You can buy them at the flagship store in New York, where it costs $40 to visit the store and in exchange, you get the opportunity to shop. Kardashians are involved
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It's tough to keep up your badass prison reputation once everyone learns you're doing time for giving someone a wet willy
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Another day, another school on lockdown after shooting
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Don't you just hate it when you bury a time capsule 30 years ago and now you can't find it?
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Proving a need to ban these deadly menaces to society, man on probation caught with 3D printed gun ... part. Which he did not complete because it was too difficult
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No longer worried about terrorism, Israel takes on real issues
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Photoshop this modern house vista
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We now know the reason why women take hot sexy selfies. Here's the sexy science (NSFW)
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Each classroom emergency kit includes a 5-gallon bucket, a wooden doorstop, a 1-pound hammer, a 50-foot length of rope and a roll of duct tape. Nobody knows what the rope is for
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Woman in restraints ringing doorbells has been identified as a domestic abuse victim
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Just because you see a swing set at an art museum, doesn't mean you're supposed to play on it
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Is it Ro-DEE-oh Road or Ro-DAY-oh Road? Neither. It's Barack Obama Boulevard, now and forever after to be known as Bob
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Rare translucent lobster caught off the Maine coast, but it was thrown back
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One of the first steps to overcoming involuntary celibacy is not kicking people to death
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Step 1: Take away child's X-Box for not cleaning house. Step 2: Ask police chief to scare child into cleaning house. Step 3: Watch police chief go into house to spank child. Step 4: Lose custody of child for not having clean house. Step 5:
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Denver cop cites HIPAA to arrest reporter filming the arrest of a black man receiving first aid on a public street. HIPAA DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY
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Whistler's mother can't get his guns
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Let's go surfin' now / Everybody's learning how / Come on and safari with... ACCKKK *thud*
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PETA wants memorial built at site of lobster truck spill
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Grab your tiny nads and watch this pilot with balls of steel drive his plane off a cliff edge
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A week after we were all told that the best amount of alcohol is no alcohol we've reached the bargaining stage
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 695: "Bugged Out". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed August 29, 2018 |
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Yeah? Well, what about all the children the Church didn't molest? Don't we get credit for that?
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"Don't mess with an Uber driver"
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Could you repeat that, and speak directly into this flower?
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Even Satan has his limits
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Be on the lookout for this dude who killed his sister and her boyfriend. And, if you find him, ask him what the hell is going on with his tie in that picture
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SUV driver decides he doesn't like how semi truck driver is driving, takes matters into his own hands
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| (Some Cel Savior) |
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Photoshop this peculiar rescue
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Lizards and alligators stolen from PA pet shop. Suspect is described as wearing a gray suit with a red bow tie and mumbling about his stolen bike
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Washington state man decapitated his girlfriend after God told him to
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If you lost a passenger and didn't notice while driving down the freeway, the cops would really like to talk to you
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Kentucky man fakes heart attack to get a ride to hospital cafeteria. With an "I regret nothing" mugshot
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Ski mask on head and socks on hands in August heat looked suspicious. That's some fine police work there, Lou
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Subby's no Russian linguist, but he's pretty certain that Aurus Senat means "Ass Ugly" in English. Behold, the Putin-inspired limo design that caters to poor oligarchs, post Soviet gangster wannabes, and orange-skinned idiots
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Here I sit, brokenhearted / Downloaded the app, set up an account, gave them my phone number and email address / and only farted
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Will the owner of the lizard please contact the Davie police?
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| (Some Forum) |
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Photoshop this forearm of payment
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UN completes report on war crimes in Yemen featuring the rare "fark it, you're all guilty" verdict
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Crazy Cranford Cowboy rides home-made motorized horse scooter around his New Jersey suburb. Yes, something must be in the water
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When it comes to treating depression, Ketamine is a very promising drug except for one tiny issue -- it appears to act just like an opioid. I'm sure it'll be fine, though
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Bridezilla is furious at her maid of honor for 'stealing her thunder' by getting engaged before her wedding (possible nsfw content on page)
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Mother arrested for being too blunt with her children
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Google users spot something unusual lurking in a cemetery on Street View ... and by something unusual they mean TERRIFYING
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What to do when waiting on your flight: (1) Get something to eat. (2) People watching. (3) Show off your mad limbo skills
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Life inside Atlantic Records included porn, sex toys, cocaine, and a Rolodex of groupies. No word on blackjack
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"Why I'm opening bars in Syria" not followed by, "Because I'm insane"
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Someone has somehow managed to combine tea parties for the elderly with raves and the results are glorious
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Alabama Board of Education recommends that tag, dodgeball and red rover be omitted from physical education classes. Obesity rates not expected to change much, because have you been to Alabama lately?
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Blue rock candy meth called 'Breaking Bad' about to earn store a visit from the Salamanca twins
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Phone scammer admits he's calling from a warehouse in China with 400 co-workers, and that he prefers calling Minnesotans because they're too polite to hang up on him
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Paralyzed veteran bullseyes 1,000 yard target. No word on when he gets his exoskeleton
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| (Some Lens Flare) |
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Photoshop this succulent view
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Dog falls overboard in the Florida Keys, swims 3 miles and is happily reunited with his owner. Give that dog all the steaks on Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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Cops need to really crack down on people leaving dogs in cars on hot summer days
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Watch your FARKing language at Myrtle Beach, or you may be FARKing fined or put in jail
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Begun, the scallop wars have
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California becomes first state to eliminate bail requirements for defendants awaiting trial. Max Cherry unavailable for comment
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Stone w00tstout tapping with Drew at Mr Brews Taphouse in Lexington, KY
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A drunken marriage is a happy marriage
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World experts are meeting in Geneva to discuss killer robots, whereabouts of Sarah Connor
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They're not sending their best. Well, not this guy, anyway
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"The thermostat patriarchy is real"
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Someone absolutely trolled a reporter doing a live report from scene of plane crash landing
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Today in tin foil hat land: "Ex-CIA agent" claims he assassinated Bob Marley with a Converse containing "cancer viruses and bacteria" (possible nsfw content on page)
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If you left an old mine floating in Puget Sound don't worry the Coast Guard's got you covered. Link goes to live helicopter feed
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| Tue August 28, 2018 |
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Hey atheists, if it upsets you that much, I'll take your cash
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Having arrested 2 guys involved in beating outside of 5 Guys, police seek one more guy
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William Shakespeare told authorities alcohol was a factor in the crash. Alas
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Hey, look at that, it appears we are cutting down on the sugar but it's making us a little crazy
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Experts at the No Shiat Sherlock Institute predict rising gas prices over the Labor Day holiday weekend
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Look out, Utahns -- not only will you be baptized LDS after you die, but apparently now you will get gay married too
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STDs set new record, continuing rapid rise in United States, CDC says, citing 'sustained' upswing. Then they added "Uh huh huh"
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Instagram and Tinder go back to school with features just for college kids. Now you can make a filter of your STD for the frat bro who gave it to you
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Family's van's brakes go out, to avoid hitting other cars, goes to the parking lot of the funeral home, hoping the guardrail would stop them, but went through the rail and fell two stories nose first into the alley, then onto a house nearby, ♪Ta-Da♫
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If you ever wanted a replica FN FAL the Paraguay National Police has discovered they own 42 of them
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Help Wil Wheaton finish his painting
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Fark NotNewsletter: Get help, Subby
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Guy hauled in for causing ruckus at Detroit's Dream Cruise. Includes most inspiring photo of pile of shaved deputies dogpiling atop longhair next to sweet '57 Pontiac Chieftain you'll ever see
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When the Catholics aren't using your charitable donations to pay off billions to rape victims or shuffling pervert priests around the world, they're buying million dollar homes for themselves. Jesus weeps
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Children's Advil recalled in dosage mislabeling issue between teaspoons and milliliters, leading to possibility of children crashing like a Martian landing craft
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That 13lbs of Fentanyl your local police department seized and vigorously commended themselves for? Yeah, just sugar
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Based on this "accident", it should be assumed that police are trained to use bulldozers to search for marijuana growers who hide under them
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Newswriter shows how to make a clickbait headline about child's stuffed animal won at fair
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Headless corpse found in topless fishtank
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Missouri becomes the first state to regulate the word "meat". Gives a whole new meaning to the slogan "the SHOW ME state"
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China not sharing flu virus samples with the US. Blames high tariffs
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"Missouri is known as one of the easiest states in the nation for teens to get married but now that's about to change"
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Cardinals rush to defend themselves for covering up sexual abuse scandals in the US, insist they still have the best fans in baseball
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New fashion trend of inside-out jeans prevents pickpockets, lets you wear them twice as many days
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Photoshop this rider
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It was a record year for tourism in D.C., with almost 23 million tourists visiting the city. And every single one of those farkers stood on the left side of the Metro escalators
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How a vengeful cop getting caught on a security camera slashing his ex-girlfriend's tires led to an investigation that looks like it's going to result in 20 cops being criminally charged and many more fired in the same NJ department
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Russian officials classify small breasts as a 'physical defect,' receive more than a handful of complaints
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With the exception of playing the most frustrating classic Ghosts 'n Goblins, most video games don't cause violence
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There's a swarm of bees terrorizing midtown New York. Come watch the live stream while someone tries to vacuum them up
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RIP Glory Hole. Alaska's Fark-Ready homeless shelter finally decides to change its name
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Deputy tells judge he pulled over car because middle finger directed at him was call for help
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Texas nurse on "Proud Parents of Unvaccinated Children" Facebook Group: Saw my first actual case of measles at my hospital, and Jesus, it's way worse than I imagined. Still not for vaccinating my kids, though
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Death toll from Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico has nearly reached 3000, or 50 times the official death toll
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Having learned his lessons, a newly-contrite Elon Musk reemerges and.... again implies that rescue dude in Thailand is a pedophile
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The new Sister Act is reeeeaaaalllly dark
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Man waving a machete is chased by police, prompting them to use the PIT maneuver to stop his car. Since there is a mugshot on the article, you will understand why there is an actual mugshot on the article, and not a picture on a body bag near his car
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Teacher accused of having sex with student has bail revoked after second meth arrest. Victim says he was told there would be no meth
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E-cigarette explodes in man's pants while he's shopping. 'Part of his private parts were also kind of affected with the whole fire thing,' store worker says
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"New Yorkers love to F themselves on the F train"
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Bust involving teeny-weeny orange bikini annnnd you already clicked the link
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Clark and Ellen Griswold involved in nasty divorce
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College bans dwarf from kitchen class because he's deemed 'safety risk'. Plans to sue college in small-claims court unconfirmed
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Burning Man: A: Giant art festival? B: Haven for hipsters and hippies? or C: UNCONSTITUTIONAL POLICE STATE?
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Hospital: You owe us $109,000. Patient: The hell I do, that's insane. Hospital: Did we say $109,000? How about $782
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Student with cancer wins fight with school district to wear blue wig, says dumbass administrators are easy to fight after brain tumors
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"Copperhead Tattooing has a gumball-like machine that allows customers to forgo the normal design process if they so choose and let this machine choose their fate"
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All those electric scooters appearing in cities like Washington D.C. won't do anything to solve commuter problems like regional gridlock. But they do make spotting douchebags much easier, so they have that going for them, which is nice
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Police not in good humor arrest two men for selling meth and marijuana from ice cream truck, became suspicious when theme from Breaking Bad kept playing from the truck's loudspeaker
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13 years ago today, meteorologist Robert Ricks in the New Orleans National Weather Service office issued a "doomsday" forecast ahead of Katrina, so over-the-top that many news agencies thought it was a hoax. He saved countless lives
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Of the 235 school-related shootings the federal government said happened in the 2015-2016 school year, NPR could only confirm that 11 actually happened
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Some school intruders have guns; this one had fangs
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Man accused of serial dining-and-dashing, leaving dates to pay, faces multiple felonies, zero star ratings on both Tinder and Urban Spoon
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Photoshop this water taxi
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There hasn't been a mountain lion in Pennsylvania in over 100 years, so what exactly IS this giant cat security cameras captured in a family's backyard?
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Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak
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Today is Pumpkin Spice Latte day. Yes, I know it's still August - look are you a patriotic caffeinated-American or not?
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It took a £3 syringe and a Tupperware box for this woman to conceive a child with her gay best friend
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Protip: Don't use an electric Shop-Vac to clean up a gasoline spill
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Man's attempt to "de-wife" himself without getting caught foiled by GPS and an unusually large number of surveillance cameras for Central Wisconsin
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In New Mexico, the Conquistadors are locals, and the Native Americans are outsiders and troublemakers
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Genetic link between cannabis use and schizophrenia found
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6-year-old heroically stands up to bullies... before being bitterly disappointed by reality. Welcome to Fark, kid, you'll like it here
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In typical Aussie fashion, fisherman catches two Vietnamese asylum seekers, takes them crabbing and enjoys a beer with them before alerting police
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People from Park Slope, Brooklyn aren't pretentious at all, just because they think they can block new bike lanes because 'their car predates the bike lane'
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Pope Francis donates vehicle to Irish homeless shelter. No one knows why homeless need bulletproof vehicle, but hey beggars can't be choosers
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Professional camera filled with 2,000 engagement and wedding photos found near NYC bridge
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Photoshop this apartment
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Tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) brings you 2 hours of songs with one-word titles, not A -- or The --- or ....()
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Sunday evening, Florida man tells folks at the community pool that the party is over and it's time to shut it down. Issue one: Not his party. Issue two: Racking the slide and pointing his rifle at the children
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Jacksonville shooter identified as promising young man (and yeah, white)
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Deepwater Horizon spill "didn't really hurt Florida," pro-drilling leaders say. I mean, oil's just basically salad dressing, right?
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Bison grow tired of being in Indiana, decide to break free
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Owner of 38-foot sailboat has apparently never read "How to Avoid Large Ships" and crashes into the docked USS Midway
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Man becomes hero by saving motorcyclist's life in one of the most Florida ways possible
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Photoshop something for this good boy to look at
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Hornets in my car? Oh, I was wondering what that massive thing was.... ouch, ouch.... RUN
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Police in Paraguay reduced to the option of shouting, "Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?" Or, "Bang!"
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In the most Kentucky crime ever, a meth addict steals a cheese grater, an empty bottle of Lysol, and a bar of soap from his cousin
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Medical professionals teach U.S. marines how to stop life-threatening bleeding from gunshot wounds in novel trauma training unit. Excuse me, did I say U.S. marines? I meant U.S. high school students
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U.S. judge extends ban, increases demand for online 3-D printed gun blueprints
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Man's conviction overturned because witness testified while high on meth and what the HELL is up with dude's forehead?
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Bring me your tired, your poor, your questions about propane and propane accessories
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As summer comes to an end, The Bay of Brest is all a titter with tales of Zafar, the Sexually Frustrated Dolphin. Come for the breeze off the bay, but stay for the porpoiseful poking
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Woman chased by witches and warlocks working for the Illuminati
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Turns out we are really poor trolls compared to the ancient past
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Hey little boy, would you like some money and candy for mowing my yard? Afterwards I'll clean you up in my spa and you can beat on my drums in my man cave
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You know, there is a reason why "loose items" are forbidden on roller coasters
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Study finds that low levels of chemicals in marijuana, including THC, are measurable in breast milk up to 6 days after mom smokes or eats an edible. Could explain why babies stagger around so much with goofy looks on their glazed over faces
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Alabama man pulls a Mike Pence on a monk seal in Hawaii
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Boeing reveals that soon planes will be flying with just one pilot at the controls and just a blow-up back-up pilot to help out if anything goes wrong ....and of course nothing will go wrong (possible nsfw content on page)
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What happened to us taking care of animals..... now they take care of us? Woman upset that her two Pomeranian "emotional support animals" aren't allowed at her boyfriend's condo. The two dogs have no comment
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The majority of flight routes are advertised as taking longer than 10 years ago, despite improvements in aircraft technology, to ensure they maintain punctuality and are therefore less likely to be liable for compensation payouts
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You may lose change in your couch, but this woman tried to stop losing her soul from her demon couch and ended up losing her trailer
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Photoshop this work of fiction
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Seals are dying off the coast of New England, and no, clubbing isn't involved
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Goodness gracious, great bulls of fire
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That's why your no-good kids are going to hell
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3...2...1...BUNGEE Or not
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