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| Sun August 12, 2018 |
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Man runs from police, ends up a pillar of the community
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Cougar comes over to hang on sofa for Netflix and chill, eats pussy
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Q: When does a misspelling cost $45,000 to fix? A: When it goes unnoticed for six years on 9,000 college diplomas
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This simple optical illusion could help diagnose Autism
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Perhaps it is best not to carry thousands of dollars, family heirlooms, an expensive medical device and your passport in your purse while shopping at Warmart, lest there be thieves lurking in the banana stand
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Man figures out how to market the "cone of silence" to open office inhabitants
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Photoshop this Russian penthouse apartment view
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U.S. Army suspends discharging immigrant recruits who enlisted as path to citizenship. For now
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Row, row, row your boat ... across the Atlantic in 40 days
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The soybeans have docked. Repeat. The soybeans have docked
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Mammoth Mammoth fragment found in Cape Coral means prehistoric predicament for construction crews
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That's it. I'm never going in the ocean again
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Open-air urinals in Paris? Oui
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Photoshop these happys customers
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Chicago's weekend violence continues with another ten shot in the city's ongoing battle to survive
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The latest culinary sensation: avocado chocolate pudding
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Firefighters feed fire-fleeing family's fish. Police pleasantly provide peckish poisson postliminary provisions
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| (News Hub) |
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Naked At the car wash ♫ showerin' at the car wash, yeah ♫ Being a "f**kin idiot" ♫ At the car wash, yeah ♫ (NSFW)
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While everyone has been talking about the events in Seattle, China has started warning U.S. aircraft over the South China Sea to "leave immediately and keep out to avoid any misunderstanding" (possible nsfw content on page)
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America isn't the only country that has a problem with white people calling the police on brown people for absolutely nothing. Can we get a "Canaduh" tag to complement the "Murica" tag?
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Old man yells at cruise ships invading his fjord ...naked (NSFW)
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Police rescue four women from a floating rainbow unicorn. Sadly, this is not a euphemism
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Seatac plane hijacker was "just a broken guy" before the crash. Presumably afterward as well
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| (Some Guy) |
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CSB Sunday Morning: Memorable moments at the state fair. Please no one talk about all the pigs Charlotte didn't save
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| (Some Couple) |
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Photoshop this couple with the blues
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South Carolina lawyers want 900 grand jury indictments tossed as they were issued with an average time 39 seconds per case. Even Judge Judy takes at least one commercial break before declaring everyone guilty
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| (Some Pants Guy) |
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Finally one of the most important questions of our time has been debated and answered, and we now know how a dog would wear pants
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Proof that Canada is a frozen wasteland: Calgary just had the hottest daytime high ever recorded in the city's history...and it didn't even beat "normal body temperature"
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Duchess of Sussex's father is no weirdo schlubby dad in a Mexican shack who drinks beers and lives on McDonald's. Narrator: Except he is
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Monk Held in Death of Abbot. Costello unavailable for comment
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It's easy to be obese in America and strawberry waffles are to blame
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Modern burglary crews use sophisticated methods to break into businesses, also good old fashioned police corruption
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If the Chicago Department of Public Health gives your business five days to clean up rodent droppings you should clean them up on time. That includes you too Walmart
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He helped storm the beaches of Normandy, but 74 years later, in a wheelchair, he's thrown off the beaches in Destin. That's Florida for ya
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| Sat August 11, 2018 |
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"If you really don't know how to cook bacon, please contact your elected officials and complain about our education system. Every American should know how to cook bacon ... Seriously"
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Norfolk Southern apologizes for teaming up with police and catching thieves by using a bait truck full of Nike shoes
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There's just no way you can defend insider trading. Challenge accepted
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Your boa constrictor is a quart low
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Simultaneously, the man who stole the airplane from Sea-Tac Airport last night is identified and tells why the plane was not shot out of the sky
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Photoshop this booming business
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Prison inmates will lose their MP3 collections due to a forced tablet swap. Before you get outraged, remember, these people are criminals
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Man disappears in a small Australian town with only 11 inhabitants. No one's talking, but my money is on the guy with the pet crocodile
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Police breaking out your car window for a seatbelt violation isn't normal, but in New Mexico it is
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In 1925, a Good Samaritan returned a wayward pig to its owner. The local county fair continues to commemorate the event as only a county fair can
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Your relative won't take your phone calls while at work? Call 911 and make a bomb threat
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You've been arrested by a dishonest cop. Can you win in a rigged system? Hey, I thought Choose Your Own Adventure stories were supposed to be fun
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Listen, these people need to make the sand drier, so my stuff doesn't get damp. Also, the water in the ocean is not blue enough
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The important question on every Farker's lips: Should rock-stacking be banned?
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Photoshop this industrial site
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Woman on an Emirates flight from London to Dubai accepts a glass of complimentary wine. Is also given bracelets and a new found appreciation for English cooking
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Calling the police when you're stuck in a recliner isn't normal, but in Tennessee it is (last item in police blotter)
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Ahhh just what you need for a hot day: A nice refreshing Icelandic craft beer made from a giant whale testicle
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Intelligent crows start picking up trash in a French park. No word if they are available on in an on-caw basis
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"Unfortunately, Dr. Franklin was just diagnosed with an illness (that) impacted her mental state of mind on that particular day." Wait... racism is now an illness?
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Cop shames woman on social media after she criticized him for getting lunch during his shift. Tag is for the woman
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Seriously, who the hell would steal from the Salvation Army?
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Good news for beer lovers who have lost their sex drive because they drink too much beer
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"Legalizing medical marijuana was associated with a 19.8 percent reduction in the expected number of workplace fatalities among workers aged 25-44"
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Man charged with setting the Holy Fire is a conspiracy nut and neighborhood terror who accused the fire chief of running drugs, claimed he could read minds, and stripped off all his clothing in a police encounter
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What happened Aussies? You used to be cool ...now you're turning to 'weak' beer and non-alcoholic beverages
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Latest way to torture flyers: fake airport power outlets
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Heart drug recalled as one of its key ingredients was also used in rocket fuel. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN (possible nsfw content on page)
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| (Some Working Gal) |
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Photoshop this healthcare worker
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He's 19. She's 14. It's a zany, wacky love affair and not worth jail time for him, according to the judge who doesn't think tying a belt around her neck and sexually assaulting her should get in the way of romance. She must be relieved he's free
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Dribbling while black is now an arrestable offense
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Help wanted: In addition to salary, position includes fully paid residence with ocean view, private garden and 55 felines. Prior experience on Caturday required
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Good lord
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FBI agent charged with lying about shooting at Tarpman is found not guilty. Dildo
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The GOP *will* confirm Kavanaugh before the end of September. gee, I wonder why the sudden rush?
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| (Some California by destiny) |
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New rules prompt a re-examination of pot on Catalina. Subby's dad used to rule in dutch ovens in the Bonneville
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New York Rangers begin training puppy to become professional autism service dog; hope it can alert Henrik Lundqvist to when he is being interviewed
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Audio from the SeaTac hijacking
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Samurai Bremelo Amazonian Impaler not a band name. Yet
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Very moooooving video of hundreds of cows swarming a water truck during Australia's drought
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Roundup the Brinks trucks and send them to San Francisco
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Airport mechanic stole a plane from Seattle and threatened to "do a barrel roll" and "shoot the shiat." Dammit, Fox
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Car tuning shop tries to scam car dealer by faking a problem with a Corvette and then pulls out the "it was joke" excuse when called on their bullshiat
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1830: when all of America drank like Drew does now
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Cheese and rice millennials, just stop it with retro crap ... you like snail mail?
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Harbor Freight Tools' handgun safe had one job. One job
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| Fri August 10, 2018 |
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Hey, you sea turtles, get off my lawn
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Former firefighter pinned under truck rips own leg off, ties off stump and conducts 911 call as everyone else is panicking. Brass balls unharmed
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...and creating a nuisance
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Shark bites man swimming off sandbar near beach in Texas. With helpful photo from Japanese porn
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Sislajagic shoots at police outside Waffle House. Claims he merely wanted to divert Arthur Dent
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If you're going to visit the red light district after missing your flight, don't leave your country's crown jewels in your car
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You ain't been dusted till you been BB dusted
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Few things in life are as amusing as when New Yorkers get really incredulous about their pizza supremacy
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| (Some Paters) |
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Photoshop these maters
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U.N. says it has credible reports that China holds million Uighurs in secret camps. Good thing summer's almost over
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Contest winner will get to eat free at McDonald's for life. Which should be about six months
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Pictures of you naked in the shower shouldn't be included in your real estate listing, even if you are a T-rex
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PSA: If you are a 22-year-old blonde that is high on dope and with a four-times suspended license, don't get into a road-rage incident in full view of the cops (with mugshots)
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| (Some Czech) |
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After receiving dozens of complaints of sexism, Czech police department picks two brunettes and a blonde for the apology facebook photo and throw in a half naked man this time for good measure (SFW)
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Wake Forest assistant basketball coach turns himself in after punching a FL tourist in NYC who banged on his car, mistaking it for his Uber. Fark: The tourist died from his injuries. That's...that's one hell of a right hook you got there, pal
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Protip: When taking your son hunting to teach him how to be a man, don't illegally kill a mother bear and her cubs in their den and definitely don't choose bears being monitored by a wildlife study
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Here hold this woman's clothes, she wants to buy a beer (NSFW)
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| (Clint) |
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Old man yells at The Cloud
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Photoshop only the second woman to lift Scotland's legendary Dinnie Stones
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Man's penis fell off and rotted away after he ignored these warning signs, such as feeling itchy and arguing politics anonymously on message boards (NSFW)
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"They were on the creek by their house, when he felt something grab his kayak." You're going to need a bigger boat
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So, how well do 3D printed guns actually work? Let's take one to the firing range and try it out
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"Hello, police. Yes, I have an emergency and urgently need your help. There is a baby squirrel stalking me, please come save me and arrest it. Why are you laughing? I'm serious"
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Some employees at the California State Lottery like their jobs. Really, really like their jobs, as in head-in-woman's-blouse-at-bar liking
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Florida Men wanted for replacing external hard drive with Play Doh
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And today's non-crime that will make white people call the police on you: Being a black lawmaker and talking to voters
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One Fewer (possible nsfw content on page)
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Turkish woman sues husband for wearing 'Sexy Thongs and Pantyhose'. Would unsexy lingerie have been more acceptable? Article mercifully has no pics
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Amazon banning self published authors for no reason. Bonus: Subby was one (thus, the "scary" tag)
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Taking some divots on the golf course with your club? No problem. Taking some divots on the golf course with a pick-axe? $124,000 problem
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The Trump Campaign is asking supporters to vote on the logo for Space Force. Certainly Fark can come up with better options
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Germany facing a crisis of insurmountable proportions as it emerges the country's garden gnomes are in danger
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At some point you have to stop and ask yourself where it all went wrong when you find yourself using wet tea bags to plug up the gaps in your home to keep the rats and spiders at bay
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Judge rules moron who would taunt a bison too dangerous to let loose in public
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Pilot charged with posting explicit pics of flight attendant online. You get one guess for which airline
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New plan for fighting forest fires in the U.S.: Let the U.S. Air Force bomb the sh*t out of them
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Never leave your $400k Mercedes on the street after scorning a woman who likes to swing baseball bats
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Man convicted of murder argues he got PTSD from strangling the woman, so he should be eligible for parole earlier
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Photoshop this otterly adorable baby
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Third earthquake on Indonesian island of Lombok in a week causes death tool to rise over 300
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Add "roofers with circular saws" to "dynamite monkeys" on the list of individuals you should not taunt
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Family is outraged, OUTRAGED I tell you after their application for social housing was rejected. Fark: Because officials discovered they had blown a quarter of a million pounds of an inheritance (possible nsfw content on page)
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The first rule of keto diet: Tell everybody about keto. The second rule of keto diet: Tell everybody about keto. The third rule of keto diet: Don't mention that it may cause diabeetus
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Active shooter situation in Canada has claimed the lives of two police officers and two civilians so far
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Firefighters have to contend with a swarm of yellow jackets while putting out a three acre wildfire started when somebody unsuccessfully tried to burn down a yellow jacket nest
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This plan presumes people will want to be willingly seen on mopeds
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Police arrest teen carrying 10 knives at school. He doesn't go to school there, he was just meeting a friend. His mother says "he always carries several knives under his leather jacket in summer months." Seems legit
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"Street Pastors" don't preach, they just help people
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A warning to chefs: if you name your lobster, you've already lost
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Attention citizen. Your home is in the path of an interstate that must be widened for it to be more profitable to the private company who's making money on its tolls. We will compensate you what we believe is a fair value for your home. Now move
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| Thu August 09, 2018 |
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Wondering what god does in his free time?
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Woman stunned to find out that Walmart sells marital aids. That's why the face on their Rollback signage is always smiling
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Brooklyn can collector actually owns more than $8 million in NYC real estate, wonders why crazy New Yorkers don't have acceptance of people being eccentric like they used to
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Today's Madlib headline: 1,000 crocodiles left homeless after man tried to open tourist attraction in a war zone
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Dairy Queen owner relieved someone else finally smelt it and was able to determine what dealt it
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Social media identifies wrong man in beating. With helpful pic of what a Social Media might look like
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Thankfully, "remote-controlled alligator head" isn't referring to something on Urban Dictionary
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Walking your pig without a lead in Norwich, UK? That's an arrestin'
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Devil's Lettuce hidden in shipment of regular lettuce
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Discovering roadside dinos. Oh to be a kid on a road trip again
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"As with any captive animal, sugar gliders have some special needs. Owners need to be careful to avoid providing too little calcium, and too much iron." Plus awwwwwsome photo
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Woman accidentally recycles her husband's Purple Heart. Fortunately, there's some nice people at Jim's Disposal Service
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What's better than watching cat videos all day? Watching cat videos all day with hundreds of other people on a baseball stadium jumbotron
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Don't worry, thongs will not be banned from N.J. beach
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Photoshop this futile try
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75 goats and sheep escape NJ auction and run amok, continuing nationwide livestock on-the-lam trend
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Free cannabis giveaways paint a picture and you've already stopped reading la dee dah purple monkey dishwasher Eat At Joes this space for rent Duke sucks
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Man arrested over Holy Fire, which has burned 6,200 acres and demonstrated the dangers of a high-level cleric with maximized flame strike
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Dairy. Hard liquor. A forecast of 107 degrees. What could go wrong?
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Duck lips and vajazzling have finally made it to mainland China
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Puerto Rico concedes Hurricane Maria caused more than 1,400 deaths, potentially raising further trouble for the President of Puerto Rico
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Decal containing the POL of POLICE "falls off" police car door. What could possibly freak people out in a sanctuary town?
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Florida releases video of Parkland shooter's interrogation, and he's just about as batshiat crazy as everyone figured
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Today you can vote for the insignia that countless future cadets will proudly pin to their SPACE FORCE uniform when they graduate from the Trump Moon Base Academy
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The D.B. Cooper mystery has finally been solved. Again. This time, we're pretty sure
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Neighbors dispute over autistic boy's service animals is just ducking ridiculous
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Finally, the wardrobe malfunction you've been waiting for (NSFW)
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Photoshop this shady affair
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UFO found at bottom of Bermuda Triangle using "secret maps" developed by "ex-NASA astronaut". And it is in no way a natural outcropping of coral (possible nsfw content on page)
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This year's back-to-school essentials include '90s selections from the cast of 'Friends' wardrobe, fanny packs, chunky-sole sneakers, and high-waisted mom jeans
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In ancient Rome, no rain led to no reign
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Christian-only town in Michigan votes to let non-Christians move in. In other news, it's 2018
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Florida Man™ strips, performs erotic dance. Inside the Kobe Japanese Steakhouse in Clearwater
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Gay man is saying that a Vegas pool's request for him to leave over "inappropriate" swim attire was "homophobia". In the pool's defense however, he WAS a middle-aged guy wearing a banana hammock, and nobody, of any orientation, wants to see that
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That first day of school with your Spiderman lunchbox can be so awkward
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It's been said before, but please do not take seal pups into hotel rooms
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"I wonder if my physician is a sexual predator." State of Alabama: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Headline: Ditching tight pants "improves sperm count." Article: "Regardless of the types of underpants worn, sperm counts were in the normal range"
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Ecuador declares state of emergency over Venezuelan migrant influx. I know a Brazilian is a lot, but how many is a Venezuelan?
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"The zookeeper grabs a fistful of grass and tosses it into the air. This is his sexiest move"
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Parkland massacre suspect has poor posture, which can be a large contributor to neck and back pain, and face-punch-itis, which can cause swelling and soreness
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Tattoo-covered burglary suspect looks like someone wrote on Mel Gibson's face with a Sharpie
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Pet owners are happier, healthier and in better shape than other people. Yes, even cat owners
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Think you've seen everything? Have you seen a pole dancer with a colostomy bag?
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Humpty tried to warn us
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Police are now field testing saliva test for stoned drivers
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Man wanted for armed robbery near U.N.O. dresses like one of the game's cards
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Tag is for whomever keeps hitting the 152-year-old covered bridge connecting VT and NH
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Slit the film over the entree, microwave for about 5 minutes, and don't forget to stir the potatoes halfway through. Then take the Fark Weird News Quiz, July 29-Aug 4 TV Dinner edition
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"Flight trying to leave D.C. delayed by 1,400 pounds of paperwork" is a fine example of bureaucracy out of control. Also, who is trying to move that much paperwork out of the capital that quickly?
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Photoshop this magnificent moustache
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A new study suggest trying too hard at work is bad for your career, so maybe it is OK to go in and half-ass it each day after all
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♫Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can. Hides your shrimp, you have stolen, but now he look like he is swollen. Look out Here comes the Spider-Man
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We don't know what this thing is. Let's blow it up
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Ticks that breed asexually and attack in swarms. Checkmate
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When you're busy trying to take that ultimate selfie, you're probably not watching out for that first step, and it is a doozy
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Get out of my courtroom with that "outercourse" shiat, Rapey McDumpster
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It's 16 days later and a mother orca is still carrying her dead calf
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In case you were wondering, George Will is still an asshole
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This year's Wisconsin State Fair "Fairgoer's Fave" is deep-fried (*spins wheel*) spinach lasagna bites, narrowly defeating French onion soup-on-a-stick
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A father who was training children to engage in terrorism in a New Mexico compound, has been arrested
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Virginia Governor calls for a state of emergency just in case history repeats itself
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I have had it with these motherfarkin' snakes in these motherfarkin' library stacks
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An airport terminal was shut down as a safety precaution after airport screeners found: A). Guns, B). Bombs or C). Sex toys
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Florida Man™ fatally shot after calling the news, firing his gun in his own house, setting the house on fire, then taking aim at the police. Witnesses spotted a spider cackling nearby
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 692: "Beverages". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed August 08, 2018 |
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Cincinnati police chief demands an investigation after an officer tases an 11-year-old girl accused of stealing food at a Kroger
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| (Some Guy) |
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Tattoos. Come for the good and laugh at the bad
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Murder? Armed robbery? Sure, let's put this guy in a minimum-security prison, he's no escape risk- oh
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Like bacteria? Ride the subway
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Petition could increase Arkansas' minimum wage to $11, lead to dreams of a double-wide
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Looks like a cop might actually get punished for murdering an unarmed black man because it turns out you can't make a building security camera conveniently malfunction
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Today's hot topic in Britain: Should gingerbread cookies be banned from wearing skirts?
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| (World Wait What?) |
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There's having a bad day at work, and then there's having a bad day at work as a fighter pilot
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Christian blogger's article "'Men prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos" offends non-Christians. Especially the part arguing why women shouldn't go to college
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Five busted in a $70 million counterfeit Air Jordan ring
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Chinese-made children toys contain too many "phthalates", which if you say out loud will probably summon one of the Great Old Ones
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At least hurricane season will help put out the constant wildfires in Southern California
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Revelers at Brit music festival get the shock of their lives after walking into portaloo, discover secret rave going on in alternate universe (possible nsfw content on page)
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Jack Skellington's wife charged with desecrating graves in historic graveyard
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"It looked just like a puddle"
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What happened inside the Trader's Joe's hostage situation that probably kept it from becoming a bloodbath
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Photoshop this performance with flowers
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Anything's a graduation scroll if you're brave enough (NSFW)
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When the van at Walmart starts rockin', don't come knockin'
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City suddenly realizes that building a playground around someone's driveway decades ago may have been a safety issue
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It's unlikely that the average Floridian has the athletic prowess to pull this off
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| (Some Guy) |
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Why did Mattress Firm have a store on every corner? Because it was a real estate scam
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The 2 confused elderly guys who went to the metal festival in Germany didn't actually go, and weren't really elderly. They were just mentally disabled and went to the same town to get drunk
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"I just holded on." 5 Year old sets the world record for "mutton-busting", holds on to his sheep for 93 seconds. Bonus- subby works with his dad
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£169 million in old pound coins still missing since they were discontinued. Article includes helpful diagram of where you might find some
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Charity volunteer stunned to find vile note left on his charity truck by snobs after parking on posh street saying the truck is 'lowering the tone of the area'
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An awful lot of dyslexics are going to be horribly disappointed
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this Action figure
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Community gardening: Serious business
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School board candidate Facebook response to criticism from local voter: "Let's meet face to face. Say what you have to say big boy" , "I have that paddle ready," also commented the two could meet anywhere, any time
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What's worse than a wasp? A drunk wasp with an attitude
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If you lost your voodoo sacrifice ritual that you had carefully burned and packed away with bones in a suitcase, the beach police in Ocean City, MD have some good news for you. Also, questions
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Another ho-hum day in Stamford, CT, where people dressed all in white with bloodied crotches walk the streets demanding justice and tips
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Suddenly, accidental wombat
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Woman, 19, delivers 'Gram-worthy mug shot
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Maybe those invisible F-35s can take care of it
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Texas grandmother shoots masturbating bicyclist in the chest through her door as he tries to break into her house. TA DA
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"Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas" sign now has competition. Competition with cleavage
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Today is National Sneak Some Zucchini Into Your Neighbor's Porch Day. No, that is not a euphemism
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"It's completely unnecessary for crayons to contain asbestos." On the plus side, children that eat them are now fireproof
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The newest thing that can kill you- *spins wheel* -getting too much sleep
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Two police cruisers hit each other. That's it. That's the whole story. That is worthy of a headline longer than TFA and a #$&ing autoplay video with an ad that says as much
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Officers capture traffic jam causing turkeys. Not sure how they were distinguished from other RI drivers
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Single men of Fark. To save time and TL:DR, please pick the numbers from the list that don't correspond to you
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This mom needs to borrow an orange cat for the most hilarious reason. Orange cat thread, anyone?
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Shots fired at hospital in New York, ambulances standing by to drive around the block and back to treat any wounded
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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-07-22 to Sat 2018-07-28
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British rail company flashes "only fit birds on this train" across on board LED screens. And then the complaints began
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Getting rid of the former USS Enterprise could cost the Navy more than $1.5 billion. Scotty inconsolable
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Nobody will see us here, in the middle of a park, in broad daylight
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---^---^---^---^---^--- ---^---^---^---^--- ---^---^---^--- ---^---^--- ---^--- ------ ?
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72-year-old man wearing a diaper sells homemade energy drinks from his tree fort. What could possibly go wrong
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This man likes to go fast in his Lamborghini Huracan, racking up $45,000 in speeding tickets in three hours
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Photoshop Joey Arias and Klaus Nomi
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From a flea filled garbage bag to an expert flea flicker just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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That headstone of your dead daughter's grave? Yeah, we moved that in 1980 and didn't tell anyone. You've been grieving in the wrong place for over 30 years. Sorry about thaaaat
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Article advises "Don't invite your partner to a friend event." Especially important if that friend comes with benefits
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Intense thunderstorms in NYC cause 3 men to be struck by lightning. No announcements from Marvel on the project's title
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Breastfeeding mom told to "cover up," so she does (possibly not safe for work)
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Poppy seed bagel causes woman to test positive for opiates when delivering baby. Why are they drug testing women in labor? Are they testing the fathers, too?
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"Sorry, we're out of ballots." And so it begins
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Today's Fark-ready headline: SC woman allegedly told cops she's a 'clean, thoroughbred, white girl' after being pulled over
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Sheriff Joe rides to the defense of Alex Jones
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Writer takes part in Finland's universal basic income experiment and lives to tell the tale. It's still unclear if he's a professional writer or if it's just a hobby
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Enjoy our freshly-picked produce from our own organic farm. Pine-sol is organic, right?
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Puerto Ricans can finally see the light
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| (Some Guy) |
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Win ice cream for a year by finding the origin of a bad smell in Calgary
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| (Some Guy) |
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Judge orders nude people evicted- "After the police left, the music went back on and then came very strange animal noises, moaning like wolf animal sounds"
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"I'm honored he likes me enough to let me get in there and play with him every day" Fark: He is a 14-foot alligator
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Goldilocks awakes to find 400-pound bear who doesn't know how to read house numbers
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| Tue August 07, 2018 |
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A statue has been vandalized by someone who appears to be a fan of the band Kiss. Beth unavailable for comment
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Du. Du hast. Du hast to escape your retirement home to go to a heavy metal concert
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"I'm Irish and spent a year traveling the US - here are the 17 things that surprised me about day-to-day life"
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Some people have important things to do in life, some feel the need to cheer on randy pigeons into having sex on rooftops. The Sun is there with this riveting news coverage
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Now the story of a crafty real estate developer who faced legal roadblocks, and the one 500-square-foot model home he was able to build. It's Arrested Development: Tiny House Edition
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New documentary uncovers the wonderful weirdness of Black's Beach, the biggest and most notorious clothing-optional beach in the country
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Ever wanted to set off an M-80 under a police car? You don't have to be high on meth, but it helps
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HGTV will restore the Brady Bunch house to its 1970's glory days. Sex dungeon to be renamed "The Meat Room" in honor of Alice and Sam
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Fark NotNewsletter: The kids most Farkers wouldn't mind on their lawns
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In an udderly Florida moment, a group of cows corralled a suspect who ran from police
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Photoshop Jerry where he actually belongs
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For once, Florida woman reacts appropriately to the situation
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From the Big Book Dating Etiquette: If you ask a friend of your girlfriend to participate in a threesome, and she declines by stating she is a lesbian, the proper response is NOT to send her a text saying "I will blow your f*cking house up"
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Just when the kindergarten kids were starting to learn about the birds and the bees, pole dancing, the parents get the sex-ed program suspended for being too sexy
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If you forgot your fetus when you deplaned at LaGuardia this morning, American Airlines has some good news for you
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John Hinckley announces that he would like his unconditional freedom now, please. Thanks
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Jesus Christ, it's a lion in the pub. Let's get a pint
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It's a real dilemma for modern racists: if you don't post your racist views/admiration for Hitler/etc on your Steam profile or favorite subreddit, no one will know what a super-cool edgelord you are; but if you do, and your employer reads it, well...
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| (Inside Climate News) |
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Climate in California and the US West basically now down to two seasons: Fire season and Flood season
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this cattle accompaniment
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Man accused of grabbing store clerk's breast, stealing taco
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Who is a Giant Douchebag?
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Welcome to Rick Romero's food channel. Today's topic: Eating an entire Panera 'Double Bread Bowl' by yourself is a bad idea. Tomorrow: What goes better with fish? White wine or a donkey kick in the head?
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NJ commuters said last year was "the summer of Hell" because of work stoppages and transit delays. Well, hold onto your overhead straps because that's starting to look like the halcyon days of yore
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One million-strong ant army marches on monster wasp nest, conquers it after overcoming the logistics of building a bridge. Says that bastard Alan Rails is next
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Myrtle Beach woman reports coming home to find an intruder eating her corn dog. Not a euphemism
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Guys who revived L.A.'s Barrel-Shaped Bar after 30 years & saved Giant Smoking Dog need your help on where to put their Giant Hot Dog
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Green comet heading towards earth. Bill Bixby feeling oddly empowered
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Video shows moment great white shark researcher has his 'We're gonna need a bigger boat' moment. Also going to need new underwear
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Woman told she owes $13,000 two years after EZPass violation
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Russia threatens war with Georgia if they join NATO. However, when asked if they wanted Florida too, the Russian PM threw up his hands, muttered "ain't no one got time for that shiat" and fled to Alabama. Roll tide, comrade
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How much for a buttload of strippers?
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Man arrested for taking his 2-year-old along on a 3am crime spree looks like every person who's been up all night with a 2-year-old who won't sleep
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"Baby found in abandoned building weeks after dam collapse kills at least 31." No word how the baby managed to kill so many people
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Woman helps homeless-looking man short on cash, comments he looks like Keith Urban. Hilarity ensues
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Psssst, wanna buy a haunted asylum?
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Catching Asian Carp for the Redneck Fishing Tournament is the most redneck fishing video you'll watch today
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A quick PSA in case you didn't already know this: Do not power large appliances like refrigerators through extension cords
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Earthquake! To the lifeboats! Women and children first, followed by those with cash
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Photoshop this early drone surveillance shot
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Back to school season is here. New backpacks, pencils, first responders holding active shooter drills, juice boxes, etc
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Japanese kids have all the fun toys
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Fark-ready headline: "Man who jumped out of freezer and died was cold-case suspect"
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Yo dawg, I heard you like wrecks, we wrecked the wrecker that was picking up a wreck, so you can pick up your wrecked wrecker while you're picking up your wreck
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Soviet-era experiment to control Fox behavior has yielded results
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There is a weird culture of collective sleeping in Hong Kong McDonald's restaurants. Some sleepers are poor in wealth, some are poor in circumstance, some are poor in their soul. Or they just like it there
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Heart donor meets recipient... that's just
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I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a Russian bear playing a vuvuzela
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A picture of a devil in a slice of beef? Here's the raw image
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"Ticket please." *ruff* "I need to see your ticket, sir." *ruff* "Sir if I don't see your ticket, I'm going to have to ask you to leave at the next stop." *snarl, licks balls*
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Already hate HOAs and think they're governed by petty, small-minded busybodies just looking for meaning in their pathetic, empty lives? Cool, no need to read this article then
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Florida Man has a bright idea, attempts parkour on a powerline. You will be shocked by what happens next
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Burrow deep for the coming 'worm apocalypse' ..okay, maybe not
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| Mon August 06, 2018 |
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A perfect, 14-second video
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You're doing it wrong
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Australian road rage: motorists stop to punch, stab each other
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Photoshop theme: Strange or awkward coincidences. Difficulty: No politics
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It's the first Monday in August, so tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) brings you two hours of songs that peaked on a Billboard chart in August
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You drunks are good for another day, a huge clinical trial has just collapsed, and the research on alcohol remains befuddling. Probably because the researchers were drunk
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| (Some Guy) |
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Facebook to roll out online dating capability with five gender types
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YOLO: 94 mph + an entire bottle of Tito's = Peeing your pants and throwing up all over yourself (with vomit-free mugshot)
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Woman who claims to have sex with ghosts says she's now in a serious relationship with one, and plans to have a baby with him. That's the spirit
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Popular pub stays open after car crashes through front door
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If you like nail salons, arguing, and women getting hit with broomsticks, you might like this story (w/ video)
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"Mark Christopher Einerwold, 43, was arrested in July after police found a 'concerning' amount of bomb-making materials in a search warrant served on his home." Exactly how much is a "concerning" amount versus "yeah that's probably fine" amount?
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WWE's Kane has been elected mayor in some place in Tennessee. Let's design lawn signs for other unlikely candidates for local offices. Difficulty: none of that Q crap. (This is a very strange timeline indeed.)
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Never pick a noodle fight with a guy known for strangling people
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What kind of dog is this charging at me? (with video)
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Saudi Arabia's State-run media's Twitter account threatens Canada with 9/11-style attack, complete with Photoshopped airplane and tower. That's it, I'm canceling my vacation to Riyadh
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New Florida business lets people pay money to smash things
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Lyme disease present in all 50 states. Time for drastic measures: more coconuts
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My Bologna has a first name, it's What-The-Hell-Is-This. My Bologna has a second name, it's Get-Us-Out-Of-Here
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You know, evil comes in many forms, be it Joseph Stalin or a man-eating cow. Or this Chinese insect invading New York's suburbs, carrying a 15% mortality rate for its victims
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It's that time of year to tally the numbers of deaths, injuries, alcohol and drug arrests at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally
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Unexpected consequences of climate change: Nebraska is turning into Florida. For example, Lincoln police are looking for a sword-wielding naked man last seen fleeing into the woods
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Boomers busting
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Good news if you want to drive in Venezuela: A single U.S. dollar can buy 3.5 million liters of gasoline there
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Train hits tractor trailer, sends thousands of chicken nuggets flying all over highway. Nearby school children, emergency sweet and sour sauce deployed to the scene
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