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Sun July 01, 2018
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Chernobyl's radioactive wolf population prospers because it's a radioactive wolf population
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Drugs shaped like Donald Trump's head seized - described as low quality, hard to swallow
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Huge Helen Keller archive reveals details about her life previously unheard of and never seen before
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman hunts and cooks iguanas then serves the "chicken of the trees" in burritos with avocados and sour cream. All that's missing is a Mexican Radio
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this disappointment
source: fthmb.tqn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
A fire breaks out next to a wedding. Time for some cool photos
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Topless woman uses front-end loader to retrieve clothes
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
$1 million nationwide warrant issued for suspect in beheading death, as police warn he could beheading anywhere
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
The will of Manos shall be served
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Hello Kitty bullet train debuts in Japan
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
British school children on a trip to Italy smash a priceless 16th century tabernacle of "Madonna and Child." Wonder how much that'll cost the parents (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Marijuana has now been legal in Oregon for three years and authorities are really having to stretch and distort some statistics to argue that it should be outlawed again
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman, who is just dillin'
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Trade war with USA hurting Rwandan used clothes vendors as they have finally run out of all of the 2007 Patriots T-shirts that read "19-0"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Yolo, and you might put that to the test if you stay in Yolo county
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hawaii's new tourist draw--red lava rafting. With video scariness
source: iheartradio.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Having seen her ideology resurgent, Heinrich Himmler's daughter dies at 88
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maclean's)
 
 
 
Happy Canada Day to all the Canadian Farkers out there. We all know that you are all not eh-holes
source: macleans.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adelaide Now)
 
 
 
Bumbunga: The illegal secessionist micro 'nation' inside Australia
source: adelaidenow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Scotsman
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: How my family got here
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHAS 11 Louisville)
 
 
 
Child answers all 3 math questions correctly, but still gets marked incorrect because of something called "repeated addition strategy." This just doesn't add up
source: whas11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The horror of border separation as described by children who had to live it
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
West Point military academy gets its first black superintendent in the school's 216-year history
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
"Local priest removed from assignment" is the dog whistle similar to a cop being on paid leave. You know he did something very bad, probably illegal, but, it will be handled "internally"
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Massive fire in Britain upgraded from "What's all this then?" to "Major Incident"
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Due to terrified escapees, animal shelters routinely report an increase in the number of admissions around the July 4th holiday. Here's how to protect your precious fur kids
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Harper's Magazine)
 
 
 
New York City is boring
source: harpers.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 30, 2018
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Concealed carry permit holder heroically tries to break up a bar fight...and is promptly shot dead by cops who see a man armed with a gun in the middle of a brawl
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
If we want a real apocalypse from an asteroid that will destroy the planet, this is how big it needs to be. Here's hoping
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Fed up of being objectified at work, prison guard becomes Miss Nude World 2018
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this king surveying his keys to the kingdom
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Montreal is moving tomorrow. This is not a repeat of 2017, 2016, and every year since Shaft was a hit
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
"Honey, I think there's something wrong with your wedding photos...there's a douchebag right behind you"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The oldest man in the U.S., Richard Overton, is 112. He's also a World War II veteran and the victim of identity theft as his entire bank account was cleared out
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
♫ And so you're back / From outer space / I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face / I should have changed that stupid lock...♫ "Frank! Bring your head in this window before before I roll it up in there"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Sunday is the marijuana apocalypse for California as new regulations mean the current THC strains aren't compliant with new, stringent laws
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Instead of trying to kill and imprison everyone over drugs, which has worked so well, Mexico is thinking about some other alternatives
source: enewspaper.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy at a Podium)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lofty presentation
source: ghelamco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12 News Now)
 
 
 
Thief wearing dinosaur mask breaks into store. Only carried away small items, cell phones, watches due to those tiny arms
source: 12newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Hunting in Maryland just got fabulous
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Legal fireworks are so boring in New Jersey even your neighbors won't call the cops over what you light up
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Years go, he swore a blood oath to Lucifer that the men who micturated upon his car in the parking garage at the Indian Casino would pay with their immortal souls. Or, he would just biatch a lot and get a comped room and buffet. Either way
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: Adopted woman meets her biological mom for the first time. Fark: She's 79 and her mother is 100
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin American-Statesman)
 
 
 
Police call it a botched case of rattlesnake revenge
source: mystatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "A month after flooding, Ellicott City shops reach a watershed moment in deciding whether to return"
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Senators announce pending attempt to pass anti-lynching legislation. No, this isn't a repeat from 1918
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If a Liberty University math professor travels two hours to have sex with a female under eighteen, how long until Jerry Falwell Jr. removes him from his website? (show your work)
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Hillary Clinton's response to conservatives whining about civility: "What is more uncivil than taking children away?"
source: amp.theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
UCLA Professor, 47, gets too stiff during "recreational mummification bondage" in basement of 62-year-old Hollywood exec's LA sex-dungeon. Talk about mummy issues
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
The TSA wants to keep you safer by having you take out your snacks. OM NOM NOM
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
High school that showed LGBTQ anti-bullying videos is accused of making a heterosexual student feel "bullied"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
He said he was gonna
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
I gotta go, we got cows
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TownNews)
 
 
 
Photoshop this divided highway
 
(WJRT)
 
 
 
We would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling Pop Tart wrapper
source: abc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spokesman Review)
 
 
 
Barn cats have a new place to call home on Caturday
source: spokesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Civilized)
 
 
 
A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed Oh, everything is better with a 10 lb bag o' weed. Spliffy topic needed
source: civilized.life   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
WTF... WTF... WTF iz dat?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
There is no such thing as a normal vagina
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPBS San Diego)
 
 
 
San Diego is one storm away from falling underwater. Fortunately, they're in a perpetual drought, so no worries
source: kpbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
NRA issues direct and unambiguous warning to the "lying media"; their "time is running out"
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Just a reminder, Goodwill does not accept dead bodies
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Semiaccurate)
 
 
 
Intel to employees "Hookers and blow are okay, but consensual relations are not"
source: semiaccurate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Penis
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 29, 2018
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
You gotta admit, hiding a plastic handcuff key in a chicken sandwich to bust your hubby outta jail isn't the worst idea (with mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Food and Drug Administration)
 
 
 
Magnetic Clay may contain almonds, crustaceans, dairy, casein, eggs, and peanuts
source: fda.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Florida Man released from jail, immediately put back
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Four-year-old girl almost puts her dad in the doghouse after she tells her mom about a 'bra' in daddy's car
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
So, um, what's in the brown paper and plastic-wrapped packages again? Yeah, the ones with the photo of Pablo Escobar?
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Homeowner calls cops to report 6-foot stone statue of Jesus that he left on his driveway disappeared. Jesus probably stayed out late getting plastered, will return later
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Protip: Find out what gym nurses work out at. Actually, that's a good tip for a lot of things
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Utah releases video series on how well government stores run socialized alcohol sales
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Animal rescuers free a squirrel that was stuck in dumpster drain. Drew gives them TotalFark for a year
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"So what did you do this summer?" "I went to the beach." "I went camping." "I paddleboarded from Cuba to the Florida Keys"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chugging a beer in one hand and holding a squirming baby in the other. It's the Australian way
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
You know you have made bad choices in life when you try to run away from a court clerk, who also happens to be probably only person in Mississippi who qualifies as a triathlete
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop this couple
source: static01.nyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
'Super cuddly' bull named Claymore charging cars on highway. No word on his demanded toll
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Independent)
 
 
 
Man arrested for crashing ice cream van into church and producing imitation firearm
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The words "Hey lady, your dog just took a shiat all over the carpet" is not something you want to hear while waiting in an airport. The dog owner didn't like it either
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
8-foot-long alligator captured by police in Walmart car park. Was reportedly going for midnight shop but was deterred from going inside after seeing some of the customers
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If your neighbors describe your lover's noises as sounding like a cross between a donkey giving birth and a very large excitable pig, you may be doing it right
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Uh...it tastes like ass?
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
It's a tornado. No, it's a waterspout. No, it's a dust devil. No, it's a 'gustnado'? What the hell is a 'gustnado'?
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Kidnapper is no match for angry suburban mom
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Your weather term of the day is 'Heat Burst'
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
No. 492 and No. 347 "Hey let's fly this coop." "Got it, we're bustin' outta here" "You head north and I'll head south and they'll never catch us". 13 years later 492 is identified but not arrested. 347 has not been seen since
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spaceflight Now)
 
 
 
SpaceX launches an AI enabled "robot companion" to the space station that is most assuredly not a sex robot. Not a sex robot. Not. (It's a sex robot)
source: spaceflightnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Guinness to open its first American brewery in 64 years. Line for bar towels forms to the right
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Raccoon 'tried to thank officer' after he removed peanut butter jar from its head, then asked how much for his cybernetic arm
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The cake coupon was a lie
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
2 and a half minutes of pure criminal gold
source: edmonton.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Woman arrested after stealing $65,000 worth of jewelry from man. Presumably she needed the money for more eyebrow pencils
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
The most ridiculous fireworks names of 2018
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these window watchers (Eden Mills, Vermont, 1941)
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Honolulu Star Advertiser)
 
 
 
Hawaii fires head of tourism "without cause," which means either dead expense account or live virgin
source: staradvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Louisianians think they're sexier than most, survey finds. Well, they do earn the most beads at Mardi Gras
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Dopey neighbors call cops on black kid cutting somebody's lawn. These dopes previously called cops on white kids having a snowball fight. They like to call cops on kids. Black kid's business mowing lawns has cut to the front of the line
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
It seems that along with "Permit Patty," "Pool Patrol Paula" has also lost her job after her shenanigans went viral
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Bad: Your teenager has a school hit list. Worse: Police find your home filled with loaded guns. Murica: All charges dropped, sorry to bother you fine citizens
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Since you're reading this here you probably don't have Comcast as your cable service provider
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Victorville, California man claims repeated arrests because of mistaken identity, as he apparently shares a name with a man in Loserville
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
R2-D2's cousin has fallen on hard times. Now it just works as a casino mall cop
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canada to U.S.: Don't make us angry. You wouldn't like us when we're angry. *snarls, tears off shirt, tosses grizzly bear*
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
New state laws going into effect Sunday include beaches are no longer public property, kids bullied in public schools can get vouchers to get bullied in private schools, state cattle breed designated as Florida Cracker
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
One of the few items recovered from the Challenger explosion in 1986 was a soccer ball brought by the first Asian-American astronaut. 30 years later, it finally made it into orbit on the ISS
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Parasailing accident leaves woman drifting in the wind for 45 minutes. Fark: After she finally crashed, rescuers had to scare away an alligator to reach her
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
40% of workers feel their jobs are pointless wastes of time, are reading this at work
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Me want cookies
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Topless man headbutts windscreen
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Woman has 50-pound nope removed after unexplained health issues
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
"It's a weird case, right," Judge Philip Simon said. "He allegedly stole a bridge. I'm fascinated by it"
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mysterious 'devil coins' discovered in church. No word if Christianity made them change
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Shoemaker found guilty of attempted murder. Butcher, baker, candlestickmaker caught trying to flee the country in a tub
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Sex workers leave Twitter for Switter. I think we can see where the German scat fetishists are heading next
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
New book reveals details about Queen Elizabeth's sex life
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
"He said the snake wrapped around his wiper and went back under his hood, where he couldn't find it"
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Like underboob cleavage? Swimwear label promoting the 'upside down' bikini (NSFW)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Sextuplets at six months are just what we need on this Friday
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
While you were shuffling around the kitchen in your bunny slippers this 69-year-old double-amputee scaled Mt Everest
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
OK, who put "classic car" and "Chevy Nova" in the same headline?
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fine Art America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rustic abode
source: images.fineartamerica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
When your crazy ex calls 911 and says "his intestines are out" well, your troubles are probably already over at that point
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Annapolis shooting suspect "wanted to get revenge" on journalists who reported on his guilty plea to charges of harassing a woman he went to high school with
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Biggest question though: when July 4th falls on Wednesday, is the weekend before or after the 4th of July weekend?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Maryland newsroom shooter was an annoying jackass with mental problems on Facebook. So, your average Facebook user
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Yesterday's shooting at a newspaper's office made this journalist feel like a kid again, in that she could be a victim of a mass shooting and become just another hashtag
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Jahi McMath declared dead. This time for real
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KETV Omaha)
 
 
 
Omaha teenager sets up "Fireworks Fight" for July 4. Over 1,000 people have already RSVPd to the Darwinian event
source: ketv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
The rural PA bomber has finally been caught by police. Come for the childish drawings of swastikas and gay devils, stay for the terrible Photoshop using clip art and poop emojis
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
Why I drove 70 mph with my ex-boyfriend on the hood
source: wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Apparently the song "Electric Slide" is about hot water heaters. Submitter is off to permanently delete his wedding reception video
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
DeLand commissioner accused of breaking DeLaw, trafficking DeDrugs
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 28, 2018
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Cement company expands into international terrorism, the next logical step after shoemaking
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Climbing a freeway sign and vaping, dancing and shouting through a bullhorn is no way to promote your music video, son
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWWL Waterloo)
 
 
 
Doom. This is Waterloo's badger
source: kwwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
You may have issues with your slobbering, stinking mouthbreathing coworkers, but don't be like this guy
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily News Journal)
 
 
 
11 cats safe after fireworks detonate inside house in what was - according to the cats - clearly intended as a warm-up to the most diabolical ever wet-nose woofday next week (w/security video)
source: dnj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
You know it's Florida when the fight begins with a cat, escalates to a pillow and finishes with a couch cushion
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
"A victim identified the alleged gunman's face in police photographs." **Checks photo** Yeah, that's pretty distinctive
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangkok Post)
 
 
 
When you build Bangkok's mass transit system but decide that it's unnecessary to get a license for the radio frequencies that your system relies on
source: bangkokpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Don't mess with momma's TV
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MyRecipes)
 
 
 
America, you have a 1.39 billion-pound cheese surplus stockpiled in warehouses ...so you have that going for you, you fat asses
source: myrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
I admire the commitment it takes to continue committing a felony by climbing a tree to do so
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
AU male 'nads and double first name fail the Government stress test for banking systems
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
I don't know about you, but I HATE IT when I forget to remove the meth from my bra when I am being processed at the jail. (with mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
KFC mashed potatoes in Australia: Serious business
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Things you can do naked in Plymouth this summer (inadequately censored Not Safe For Work images)
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fredericksburg)
 
 
 
How low can you go? Try being a partner in a brewery and steal the tips from the wait staff
source: fredericksburg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Capital Gazette shooter with no ID or fingerprints has been identified, police now investigating what's in the box (link updated)
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Terrifying new species of "alien" wasp that eats its victims from the inside out then lays eggs that burst out has been discovered. Sleep tight, Aussies
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Nude model's photo shoot gazelle culotte baboon smoker squirrel wrench
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A bear on a diet is surely a riot / a dog on a meal plan will get thin by the fall. / Buy a small bowl for the cat if he ever gets fat / but a hedgehog can never get slender at all
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this grumpy dog
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
You know when Russia criticizes your laws, you must be doing something right. Toke off, eh?
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
"The iconic 22-foot neon palm tree which graced the sometimes sketchy Paradise Inn must remain as a community asset"
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Heads-up, Dallas Farkers: White Rock Lake will soon be Brown Trout Lake, thanks to an upstream 250,000 gallon raw sewage spill
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Skeletors' quote of the day: I surround myself with people who contribute to my happiness and well-being"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
'Sonar Anomaly' is being investigated off the coast of North Carolina. Redneck Godzilla is coming. Run for your lives
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A lady got terribly sunburned / You'd think that she suffered a bit / When lotions and ointments would fail her / She covered her body with SHAVING CREAM
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Naval Institute)
 
 
 
Missile explodes after being launched by German frigate. Oh scheisse (with cool video of explody missile)
source: news.usni.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The 6-year-long war on magnets is finally over. How the fark did that work?
source: zenmagnets.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
95 yr old man planks for 10 minutes
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RedState)
 
 
 
Getting arrested for soliciting kiddie porn and sex with minors is no way to go through life, Mr Chairman of the International Campaign to Stop Rape and Gender Violence in Conflict
source: redstate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
If you're a donkey and want to be protected from getting hit by cars, "Come on down"
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
All that rush hour traffic got you running late for work? No sweat; just slap some fake police lights and a siren on your car and watch those suckers part like the Red Sea
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Right now in Venezuela, a cup of coffee will set you back * Cue Dr. Evil Music * One Million Bolivars
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Niantic is opening its AR platform so others can make apps like Pokémon Go. Hear that Tinder/Grinder/MeetUp?
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TVNZ (New Zealand))
 
 
 
Maybe don't sext the police, even if that is your fetish
source: tvnz.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Police seeking runaway teen girl Analiese Urbanczky (pronounced Urban-ak). Bret Favre, Raymond Luxury Yacht inconsolable
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop this amazing exhibition
source: static01.nyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Groupie convention features North Korean anthem, and "the Deplorable Choir from Houston, three women in red dresses and fringed red cowboy boots." Groupies aren't what they used to be
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
What do you name a beer brewed by the Dildo Brewing Company in Dildo NL? Subby's suggestion in the tag, Farkers' suggestions to the right, actual name to be revealed on Canada Day
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Harlan Ellison has died
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Active shooter at the Capital Gazette in Annapolis Maryland. UPDATE: Unidentified suspect in custody. 5 dead, 3 injured
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
New Jersey's 44 beaches, ranked by how often syringes and empty Fireball bottles wash up, along with how many beachgoers are old men with hairy backs
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bustle)
 
Boobies
 
Lingerie company making pool floats for women with big boobs
source: bustle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Fox News CEO tells producers they need to clamp down on guests who are out of their cotton-pickin' minds. Womp womp
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Walmart rolls out 3D virtual shopping experience. Think about that for a minute. Go ahead, I'll wait. Just. Let. That. Sink. In
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Desert Sun)
 
 
 
As California is in one of the deepest droughts in modern memory, Nestle has acquired a permit to obtain water from National Forests
source: desertsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
How much healthcare does $18,000 buy you in America? Just a baby bottle and a nap
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Who's up for a new data breach scandal from a company you've never heard of? Just about everyone, apparently
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Investigators have uncovered the identity of DB Cooper again
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Naked bicyclists hit the streets around the world to celebrate body image, protest cars, re-enact Queen album fold-out (NSFW pics in slideshow)
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Have you ever been so drunk that you told police you were drowning under a canoe when you were actually sitting at home? This guy has
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Liverpool Echo)
 
 
 
If you intentionally dropped off a snake at the dry cleaners, police would like a word with you
source: liverpoolecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
So you've decided to set off fireworks in your trunk
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMDT Maryland)
 
 
 
♪ Our house ♫ In the middle of the street ♬ Our house ♪
source: wmdt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Unique Mushroom House for sale in Northern Michigan
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Fervent conspiracy theorists may be the easiest to deradicalize says new study by Illuminati supported baby stealing organ harvesting lizard people who secretly control everything on our beautiful flat Earth
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
As a service to Fark members, we present this article for you to forward to your managers and HR departments
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Under-filling pints? Ice cream for a lawsuit
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Taco Bell announces the return of Nacho Fries
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Elon Musk accused of stealing farting unicorn. Is there no depth to which he will not stoop?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Just 23% of U.S. adults get enough exercise. Sad tag needed to stop for a breather, so Murica tag zips in on its mobility scooter
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nerdist)
 
 
 
Want the easiest route into the Guinness Book of World Records? Charge $101 for a milkshake
source: nerdist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
This is what happens to you when you quit drinking
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRG)
 
 
 
Wanted fugitives in Iowa fall for the old "free concert tickets if you show up" police sting scam
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
This city in Oman never had the temperature drop below 109 degrees on this day, most likely the highest minimum temperature ever recorded on Earth
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Mallrat)
 
 
 
Photoshop this empty shopping experience
source: s.hdnux.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
What if I told you there was a robot made of Legos that could clean up Mardi Gras debris?
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
It's Sea Lice season along Florida's beaches. With helpful 'after' pic
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
So how is the Air Force effort to curb sexual assault going these days? Oh boy
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man with 149 kids sentenced to house arrest. Now THAT'S cruel
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CafeMom)
 
 
 
Meghan Markle eschews protocol and strikes vulgar pose during public appearance alongside of Queen
source: thestir.cafemom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Wisconsin man buys a shoe camera to take upskirt videos of women. Karma laughs, takes a sip of Pabst, tells friends "I got this"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bad: Sitting next to someone on an airplane that has B.O. Fark: Someone on the airplane that has B.O. so bad it makes many of the folks in the cabin puke and faint and worse, it's because he had tissue necrosis and died from it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Charlottesville driver-murderer faces 29 federal hate crime charges. With helpful photo of what this proud member of the alt-right looks like
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 686: "Midway". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 27, 2018
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
You got a number to call for a person to fix my garage? Sure, 911
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
It was a controlled burn. Until it wasn't
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this leap of faith
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blackpool Gazette)
 
 
 
Drinking a liter of vodka plus one or two bottles of wine a day, calling 911 repeatedly about cat litter and cat food, is no way to enjoy your golden years. Drew inconsolable
source: blackpoolgazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Did someone order a pizza? [moaning sounds]
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
If you ate at Hardees in Charlotte, you should add a hepatitis A vaccination for dessert
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
CEO Permit Patty resigns due to escalated moment
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Clickhole)
 
 
 
Wisconsin authorities send out Amber Alert, want everyone to keep their eyes out for Big Lord Beefcake
source: clickhole.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
Authorities seize enough fentanyl in Columbus, Ohio, to kill half the state. So. Very. Close
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Hawaiian troubadour
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Winner of global teaching award spends her $1million prize on appointing artists and musicians in residence at 30 schools in disadvantaged areas
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Pennywise / Freddy Kreuger crossover fanfic cosplayer found guilty of murder, supporting Hot Topic
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
NewsFlash
 
Prepare for more terrible Supreme Court decisions: Anthony Kennedy announces retirement
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
Drunk driving can get you in the local paper so all your friends and family can see your awesome new scar
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Investors Business Daily)
 
 
 
Boeing plans to go Mach 5. Hopes to avoid problems with Racer X
source: investors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Doctors create ESOs from LFA to complete GRS for FTM transition. Surgeon says it wasn't that hard, but it will be
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
First there was BBQ Becky. Then came Permit Patty. Now let us meet Swimming Pool Stephanie
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Britain undergoing beer and cider rationing
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Just because this worked in Blazing Saddles doesn't mean it will work in the modern era
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Running on to the tarmac barefoot, wearing only underpants, and trying to beat up airplanes while talking to yourself is definitely no way to go through life son
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Unprecedented" fire raging in northern England prompts evacuation of dozens of homes. And also, according to the pic in the article, it looks like the gates of hell have opened in the UK
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Police underdog Nacho helps sniff out $1 million worth of meth in a subwoofer box
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
There's just a few weeks left for submissions for Everybody Panic: The 2018 Fark Fiction Anthology, so if you've been holding off sending in that masterpiece, well . . . don't hold off? This is your Fark Writer's Thread, holding on edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
"Who steals a fridge and says, 'Oh, it won't fit in my car?"
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Hello Flight 1623 this is Jack in tower control. Hi, Jack
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Planters Cheez Balls are coming back after 12 years, just in time for the next Fark party. Still spelled with a 'z' for legal reasons
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Best)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flying screamer
source: i.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Poncho the Spanish Police Dog goes viral for showing off his CPR skills. No word on whether he prefers Stayin' Alive or Another One Bites the Dust. Welcome to your Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread (w/video)
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
"It's terror that these people are seeking to sow, in their aim of making a whole section of French culture disappear; we are trying to fight back against the terrorists," said the leader of a butcher's union about vegans
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Tour bus takes visiting foreign VIPs to great views of Yukon River valley from top of Dawson City's Midnight Dome. Aaand then it catches fire: "When it's hot, the sun's right, for lack of a better word, the air mixture is right - it does happen"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
*smoke bomb*
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
If there is a God, Phoenix will never see another 122 degree day
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Two cops busted for stealing at a lie detectors convention. Maybe they should've lied their way out of it
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
O-O-O-O-Oklahoma where the something something wind...something...plains
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
If you work at an amusement park, then you already know you're considered part-time even though you work more than 45 hours a week, you have to point everywhere with at least two fingers, and the costumes are miserably hot
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Florida Man attempts upscale crime, steals 2 diamonds worth $170k. But he just isn't cut out for supervillainry, will have to go back to the minor leagues
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
Good luck buying this Palo Alto mega-home if you're not a member of the three comma club
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Crime in Baltimore is out of control. Also that bastard stole my hat
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 26, 2018
(CBS 6 Albany)
 
 
 
Man escapes justice with help from an imaginary razor blade and ceiling tiles
source: cbs6albany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Nervous patients ask for dentist's dogs to sit in on their procedures. Dentist continues to have one-sided conversations with everyone in the room
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Research on how mosquitoes drink could yield new efforts to control the spread of disease, tiny bar tabs
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHQ Spokane)
 
 
 
Gas station employee finds out too late you can't yank the keys out of a gas thief's ignition if he stole the car, too
source: khq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bourbon warehouse collapse leaked whiskey into nearby creeks, killing hundreds of deliriously happy fish
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of Israel)
 
 
 
When condoms, kites, and birthday balloons lead to war
source: timesofisrael.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: if you stole a rare alligator from a pair of TV stars and set a reptile sanctuary on fire, police warn that you may be close to overdosing on Florida
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Just the tips for an enjoyable summer
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
New supervolcano developing under MA, VT, and NH. Don't panic, it's not set to erupt until approximately 50 million years have passed, about when Tom Brady retires
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wading beauty
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Texas emotional support pigeon found alive and well in Oklahoma. Apparently didn't fly United
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Council asks for help naming its bin lorries, some suggestions include: Obin-Wan Kenobin, The Ter-bin-ator and Dustbin Timberlake
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bradenton Herald)
 
 
 
High on shrooms, naked, standing in a fire, swinging a stick at cops, and chanting in an unknown language is no way to go through life, son
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Ah, Jury Duty. Arrive early. Bring a book. Leave the meth and cocaine at home
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KBTX College Station)
 
NewsFlash
 
Texas hospital done blowed up
source: kbtx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Economist)
 
 
 
A national data network was hacked in a French banking scam, involving a clever use of backspace characters. In 1834
source: 1843magazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
"Storms of the Century" rapidly becoming "Storms of This Week, possibly This Afternoon"
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Siri, what is the most historically ignorant thing Mike Pence could say while in Latin America?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
You know, you really have to pick one: 1) Hold your baby 2) participate in a street brawl. Because, when you try to do both things at once, bad things invariably happen
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal Times)
 
 
 
Officers found marijuana, a pineapple-shaped marijuana edible, THC oil, a jar of smoked blunts, seven bags of genital-shaped, THC-laced candies and four tanks of nitrous oxide. Butler reportedly told officers the nitrous oxide was for his "artwork"
source: journaltimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Goochland mom shoots man who flew around the world to meet her daughter. The real question here is, how do they pronounce Goochland???
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Washington's largest psychiatric hospital loses certification, federal dollars, will be forced to change name to Arkham
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Looks like there were a lot of pickle incidents in Boston recently
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sisterly love, Gwich'in tribe, Arctic Village, Alaska
source: yourshot.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
2 Gay Swans, One Cup
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Firefighters lend hose to family using kitchen pots to fill pool on boy's birthday
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It makes it easier when the crabs you catch are already half-battered, tempura style
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Edition)
 
 
 
The girlfriend in the 'Distracted Boyfriend' meme shows off her O-face in ads again and again and again and again
source: insideedition.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Madame Noire)
 
 
 
You've just sold cold water on a hot day, little girl. What are you doing to do next?
source: madamenoire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Judge says he doesn't care how much pot they found, cops can't stop and search motorists just for going 2mph under the speed limit
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Driving your car through a tree is a neat experience when you're in northern California. Northern Montana, not so much
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Dirt)
 
 
 
In a technological million-to-one shot, five police body cams all malfunction at the same time during a shooting incident
source: techdirt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Machete-wielding woman, 19, forced ex-boyfriend to have sex, cops say
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
Video
 
Woman's profanity-laden meltdown on flight has airline apologizing to everyone "who had to witness this"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man talks on the phone while riding on the hood of a car going 70 MPH (w/not safe for work language)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Strrrrtlyt spotted over Wales. Ey wnttybyllyv (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Not only can you get a free trip to the K-hole courtesy of Minneapolis police, but you get enrolled in a medical study of its effects without consent
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
The dog refused the breathalizer
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
Weeners
 
4 things to know about the Nathan's Fourth of July hot dog eating contest, including the record to break
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
If you're going to use a ship to smuggle a hundred million dollars of drugs, you may want to avoid calling your boat something obvious, like Mega Profit II
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Last Tuesday's headline: "You may soon be forced to drink beer out of a bottle from now on." This Tuesday: "Are beer bottles an endangered species?"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Gotta admit, calliope player aboard a New Orleans steamboat sounds like a pretty cool job
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
♫ All my tomodachi know the low rider...The low rider is a little higher ♫
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Kids say daycare put them in "the dark room"
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop what could have possibly have caused this mess
source: pre00.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
If you embezzle your employer out of US$490,000, do you invest the money in (c) pedigree kittens
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
All aboard the bondage boat. 'Come' aboard the world's biggest bondage and fetish boat orgy where hundreds of leather lovers romp the night away in Germany (NSFW)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
K-9 helps cops find $10 million worth of pot. With pic of K-9 in a room of OMG that's a lot of pot
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Guess which university just had an employee caught videotaping men in bathroom. Go ahead. Guess
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Cocaine Mr Big is now poke man on Northern Ireland beach, selling iced sweets out of Sambo Mr Whippy van
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"This is what my six year-old and I endured in family detention. My son remembers it for what it was: a prison"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Oh goody: Another SJW restaurant throws out someone just because they don't like his politics. ***clicks link*** CROM'S CRUNCHY CROTCH CROUTONS
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Construction worker dies in jobsite accident. Fark: Boss tries to hide body from cops
source: odishatv.in   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Today I learned that 86F is "blowtorch" temperature to some Scots
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stat News)
 
 
 
FDA approves cannabis based medication
source: statnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
A $185 steak sandwich can be yours, it can be found on Wall Street. Difficulty: You need to make Wall Street money
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
The Good Ship Norovirus will be returning to Seattle soon
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Gilligan has not aged well (NSFWish)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
In an effort to boost sales, Starbucks stages iguana fights in the parking lot
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 25, 2018
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Lawnmower man makes Utah the 34th stop on his 50-state grass-cutting trek. Almost there
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
If I had a boat, I'd go out on the ocean. And if I had a gator, he'd ride under the trailer. And we would all together roll around in the parking lot, me and the sheriff and my gator
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
It sucks trying to still recover after being stabbed 14 times because company policy only allowed one meat per nacho order
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass all-weather Bactrian camel born at Toledo Zoo
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
After 25 years the real tale of Lorena Bobbitt is being told - a story that cuts both ways
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
"Surrarnaqtuq" - English translation: "Dave's not here"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Dayton News)
 
 
 
The next time you think "What would Jesus do?" remember that running around drunk and naked, pouring gasoline everywhere, and then trying to steal a car before flailing around in the grass is in the realm of possibilities
source: mydaytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Central)
 
 
 
"The Llama is only a handy animal and is not an elephant," explains farmer who also has a new theory on the brontosaurus
source: irishcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this copycat
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
On their birthday, the orangutan got pink and purple streamers, while the llama got a cake
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
While the DJ and the Mrs are off celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary, Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) will bring you a "tripleheader". Start off with some selected love songs, then selections from two charts from 6/25/83, Billboard & Dr Demento
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State)
 
 
 
Waitress tells man he was too drunk for another drink. He decides to prove her point
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Come for the story of a man arrested twice for DUI in less than 24 hours, stay for the priceless mugshot
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Your craziest story of banging on a futon pales in comparison to this Indiana kid's
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Teens who mocked drowning man get off scot-free under the legal concept of "It's Florida"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bit my sister)
 
 
 
Viral baby moose now in Maine wildlife park. German Shepherd inconsolable
source: q1065.fm   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Summer is here and California is on fire once again
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
DeLand City Hall closed due to DeLightning Strike
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Kind teen helps deaf and blind man on flight. No word if she picked up mean pinball skills in exchange
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Two Mexican dogs in the house | Two Mexican dogs | You don't get them fixed and they do their trick | Eighty-two Mexican dogs in the house
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this SQUEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
If you ask your teenage son to cut the grass, expect penises
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
There's nothing quite so peaceful as floating away in a hot air balloon, up with the clouds, the birds, the power lines, the blazing fire, and the screams
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
SCOTUS declines to hear 'Making a Murderer' case, leaving Brendan in jail on his DASSey
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists show the damage a single feral cat can do, by displaying all the animals the cat ate in a single day. Remorseless Killing Machine doesn't even begin to describe it. (NSFL - Free cat picture)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJZZ Tempe)
 
 
 
Dear Arizona, The drought is real. Get your heads out of your asses and figure something out. Signed, the rest of the Colorado River states
source: kjzz.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(High Country News)
 
 
 
Genetically engineered grass is creeping across Oregon. Stephen King surrenders his broken meteor
source: hcn.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
American woman flies 4,000 miles to UK just to tag friend, then run away and fly back to America. Wait until she finds out later that her friend had his fingers crossed
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Tired of being run over by ships in Alaska, whales start striking back
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Brave 16-year-old girl prevents car from sliding further down embankment after drunk backs too far out of driveway
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Aircraft makes illegal beach landing and pilot evades local authorities on foot. Authorities express concern that this could lead to another useless side plot in the next Star Wars movie
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
24-ounce can of Steel Reserve helps lead police to a suspected killer. Is there anything a 24-ounce can of Steel Reserve cannot do?
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
*Clicks link about people shot at a retirement home in California* "Look at that video of a bear escaping a car"
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Because he has Tender Heart, man proposes to Lady at Lionel Richie concert. Their Endless Love will last All Night Long and involve Dancing on the Ceiling. No doubt she'll yell "Do It to Me" on wedding night
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
If they're truly real life vampire king and queen, then how could The Sun be there? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Denver-bound flight rerouted to Albuquerque due to effects of atmospheric change on stomachs containing Taco Bell
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Art gallery owner was arrested, charged with criminal misdemeanor and a felony after dropping 800-pound steel sculpture of bent, burnt heroin spoon in front of top manufacturer of opioids, and then refusing to remove it
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