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Sun June 10, 2018
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Furious restaurant employee doesn't think her cunning plan all the way through after hiring a homeless man and staging a robbery to teach boss a lesson
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Easy-shop some kayakers into this scene
source: d279m997dpfwgl.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Damn, it smells like rotten eggs down here. Let me just turn on this light anBOOM
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mintel)
 
 
 
Millennials are killing the DUI
source: mintel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Magnitude 3.9 earthquake strikes England, strong enough to make people out drinking on Saturday night walk straight for a few steps
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cat who interrupted a football match
source: ichef.bbci.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Derby Evening Telegraph)
 
 
 
"I'm very proud to have reached this age. But, I'm still only 103. I'm a spring chicken and I'm still on the lookout for a toy boy"
source: derbytelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
The bad news: Aletta went from a tropical storm to a Category 4 hurricane in just 24 hours. The good news: It poses no threat to land. Whew
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
If you can't decide what booze to buy at Dollar General without getting in a couple's brawl, maybe you should stop dating
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
"Officer Donut? Your name is really Officer Donut?" "Woof"
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Dear America: it is not a requirement that you have to put peanut butter in everything. Seriously. (LGT photo that is the focus of my ire)
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Irish women bare all in a Guinness World Records-breaking skinny dip creating a glare powerful enough to wreck camera sensors for miles (with suitably SFW photo from REALLY far away)
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
"Welcome to the library. Don't bother the bats, please"
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Boxers stop fight to watch massive brawl that erupts in the audience (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this serene plume
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Yard sale stories
source: terracestandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PureWow)
 
 
 
Listen up, wine snobs. We're sick and tired of your pretentious BS and we're not going to take it anymore. Got that? Good...now go get me a bottle of your finest Boone's Farm, and make it snappy
source: purewow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Girl, 9, in 'rehab after getting hooked on Fortnite'
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Sword Attack on Bullet Train. You're doing it wrong
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Private prison company handed out over 1,300 private, privileged, and recorded phone calls to prosectuors
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
Having a problem choo choo choosing a new place to live?
source: curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
U.S. media speculating on the mental health of the leader of the free world
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
One art, please
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
In a two thousand year-old controversy, were Jesus' feet tied or nailed to the cross? And, did Jesus really say, "Jesus Christ that hurts" when they were nailing his feet to the cross?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 09, 2018
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Move over NYC pizza eating subway rats, New York City millennial avocado eating squirrel is here
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 6 Birmingham)
 
 
 
Man walks into mechanic shop, puts electric ratchet down his pants, walks away. Police concerned there may be a nut loose
source: wbrc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flashback on getting back to nature
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Video showing lava entering a Kapoho house through the window is in no way pure nightmare fuel
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Jesus would have baked that cake"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Valedictorian at school gets her mic cut before she can talk about her sexual assault. Horrendously stupid school officials don't know how publicity works
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Pot smokers accused of walking out on meal whose price seems way too well planned
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KQED San Francisco)
 
 
 
Photoshop these diggers
source: ww2.kqed.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
New York governor offers free legal help to a pizza deliverer facing deportation after INS wants to deliver him back across the border in 30 minutes or less
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
What better advertisement for your apartment complex could there be, other than a dented sign reading '3 Cheers for Heroin'?
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Caution: I brake for rainbows
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Please Note: Burger King does not offer complimentary handguns in the restroom, and if you found one, the Pasco County Sheriff's Office would really like it back
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Vegan and veggie meals sold at Tesco found to contain pork, turkey. Which explains why they actually tasted good
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Pulse)
 
 
 
It's time to up our spice game, fellow Americans. Today we will stand up and say NO to big spice, NO to plain ol' black pepper, and YES to all the flavors and all the peppers they've been hiding from us for too long
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Time to make the donuts. Time to make the donuts. Time to make the donuts. Time to dodge the speeding truck. Time to make the donuts
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
8-year old boy becomes youngest person to climb 450 ft high Old Man of Hoy sea stack, raises money for cancer charity and makes his terminally ill mum proud. His brass balls will be enormous when they eventually drop
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
The fourteen habits of highly miserable people
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
A record number of children had died from the flu. If only there were a readily-available vaccine to combat the virus
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Okay, who invited the moose to the party? And Jeremy, quit trying to spike the punch...you know I can see you"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Autonomous people tracking drones hit the market. This is of course a fine idea and will in no way be abused by individuals, business or governments
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Teacher)
 
 
 
You may want to reconsider taking that teaching job in China
source: thesouthafrican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Top researchers decide to find the very best potato chip money can buy ... by taste-testing a grand total of three different brands. Wow ... that's some fine research there, failsearchers
source: thisisinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some ET)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ancient visitor to Earth
source: ancientufo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Imagine a good news story starting with "Imagine you're stuck in the Australian desert. Your car has broken down, and there's no sign of another person for miles." Yeah, nah
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The stoniest of hearts is being melted away, just in time for Caturday
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flight Global)
 
 
 
Air Force grounds full fleet of B-1B Lancers after one blows escape hatch mid-flight
source: flightglobal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Ann Coulter accused of sex with minor
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Taste of Home)
 
 
 
Learn how to handle your pickle
source: tasteofhome.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Law school in Phoenix to lose accreditation due to low scores. The school vows to return, to rise above like a umm, oh, rise like a... wait a minute, ah shoot, I hope that's not on the test
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Seals can continue to use San Diego beach. Crofts, not so much
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Connecticut church gets a good look at Marilyn Monroe's giant ass
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Beaver County Times)
 
 
 
Pee video leads to felony charges. No, not that one
source: timesonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Kim Jong-non detained at Singapore airport
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
"Slice of 'stolen' pizza leads to discovery of adorable stray puppies in East Palo Alto"
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 08, 2018
(Fox 13 Memphis)
 
 
 
Monkey in diaper found clinging to, yes, a Florida man in a stolen car
source: fox13memphis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
People are flocking to Galveston, TX to see the rare and unfamiliar migratory crystal-clear blue water
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Montana woman goes old school on a log jam
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
At this rate we'll all get to see what's underneath Greenland
source: nsidc.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Scientists recover lost NASA tapes from the monumental Apollo space missions, solve decades old mystery of why moon's surface temperature spiked by one to two degrees Celsius (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCBY Coos Bay)
 
 
 
Vandals steal stool from vault toilet. Though the thief may have a #2 accomplice, police won't rule out a turd suspect
source: kcby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Arm found inside alligator caught in Florida lake. Amos Moses wanted for questioning
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: create a propaganda poster for today. LGT bizarre examples from the NSA
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
The time Anthony Bourdain was served unwashed warthog anus by his hosts, and he graciously ate it
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Candlelight vigil planned for chicken that was the sole survivor of a slaughterhouse truck crash. Attendees will have the choice of dark or white meat
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal News)
 
 
 
If you've ever dreamed of being a crossing guard for turtles, today is your lucky day
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
David Duncan Douglas who deftly dodged danger and definitively defined combat photography, definitely dead, 102
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
One thing you should never do with your ... er, *a* vibrator (NSFW)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida didn't do national background checks on applicants for concealed weapons permits for a year because an employee couldn't figure out how to log into the system
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Splinter News)
 
 
 
Guy who took military vehicle for joyride in VA claims it was a military assignment to check cop readiness and that vehicle had been prepped for him by 60 fellow soldiers
source: splinternews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this TA DA
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Anytime we see Robocop driving, he's not wearing pants
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Austria shuts seven mosques over law demanding Muslim societies have 'positive view' toward the Austrian state. Why would anyone not have a positive view of the place that gave us Crocodile Dundee?
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Iconic San Diego bridge to prevent suicide by adding spikes, citing "threat of injury" as deterrence
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
A couple decides to get busy in a church graveyard. Of course the *Scottish* Sun is there (pixellated NSFW)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
The Eskimo are said to have two hundred words for snow, but chances are their word for this snow probably translates to "I don't know what the hell that is, but don't eat it"
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Fife pimp faces rape charge. Woodwinds everywhere whistle in fear
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Remember Affluenza mom who helped her son skip to Mexico? Yeah, she's a meth head
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Why more and more white Americans are opposing all government welfare programs -- even the ones they themselves may benefit from. Spoiler alert: They're racist
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Is hair tattooing the new fix for hair loss? No
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
"I sold my innocent picture to a stock image site for £50 and now I'm the face of bestiality"
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
World's tallest glass bridge in China finds a new way to make people change their underwear
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBN Youngstown)
 
 
 
Contestant #1 for slowest news day
source: wkbn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bear)
 
 
 
Photoshop this 78-year-old giant
source: pga-tour-res.cloudinary.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Logging truck collides with strawberry truck, creates deadly jam
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Education in America 2018: College student complains after a scene from the film "The Last Temptation of Christ" is shown in a world religions course
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Man captured in the act of public flashing may have just been trying to distract from his face tattoos
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Finally, Army scientists do something useful: They've discovered the algorithm for the right amount of coffee needed to ensure your day is pleasant
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Anthony Bourdain leaves for Parts Unknown
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Why did the turtle cross the road? Because Police Officer Sharnise Hawkins-Graham
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EcoWatch)
 
 
 
Solar panel array explodes in a giant fireball that could be seen from 20 miles away. What's that? Oh, that's never happened?
source: ecowatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Dispatch)
 
 
 
A cop could have a really great time transporting moonshine ...and eyeballs?
source: herald-dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Tired of a constant stream of politics and disappointing sports news? Here's a gator slapping the snot out of the guy who captured him, and tried to play bongos on his nose. Tag is for the gator just doing gator stuff
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
Update: It appears Track Palin's punishment for assaulting his dad is going to be listening to peasants' court appearances and telling a judge how his week went
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Maple Two Scoops to Make Ontario Great Again
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Female Georgia inmate caught with too many pencils and miscellaneous detritus in her prison purse
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
There are few things worse than getting hit by a car. Near the top of that list is "getting hit by a second car"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Go ahead. Tell the cook on the left that he burned your toast
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Oh Cannabis
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
It's a TARP
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 07, 2018
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
What if somebody told you it's harder to get a Chick-fil-a franchise than to get into Harvard?
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Sea lion gives birth along bike path, says it was just looking for a bukkit
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
"There is no justice in our country" say people complaining to the Government about: a) Police killing unarmed black men, b) Immigrant children being forcibly separated from their parents, or c) ABC cancelling "Roseanne"
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Wa Waaaa
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Yet another Yellowstone visitor gets a friendly reminder that a bison is not the same as their poodle back home
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
The true measure of friendship is whether your buddy, who is driving, bails on you during a high-speed pursuit
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Turkish soccer club Bestikas fined 29,000 euros for letting a cat roam on the pitch during a game. Bonus: German fans name cat "Man of the Match"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Though pleased with the plentiful housing options for his people, Aquaman still frustrated by lousy and limited options for decent pizza
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this grub rustler from 1939
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Loose pig causes drama on Dallas highway. Jerry Jones was safely returned to the Ranch
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Government researchers say it's only a matter of time before there's a cyberattack on an airplane inflight resulting in a catastrophic disaster, so have a nice trip this summer
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
More than 20 people escape a fire on the roof of a Burger King. Why they were on the roof of a Burger King not explained
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unamused cat
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
"Sinkhole on aisle 5, bring a mop"
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Curiosity leads to the finding of organic matter
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Body found lying in street near Camping World Stadium. Investigators describe the situation as tents
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
What happens when a sugar baby falls in love with her sugar daddy. And 'sugaring' is a word now, I guess
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Montana golfer runs back to clubhouse, demands her greens fee back after spotting grizzly bear on course. Grizzly bears on golf courses trifecta in play
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
You know it's the NHL finals when Canadians start acting like Floridians. Grab some maple syrup, say you're sorry, and take the Weekly Weird News Quiz, May 27-June 2 O Canada Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Manhattan teen suffers acute case of affluenza and breaks into Hamptons mansion to throw a rager. Luckily the police arrive the next morning to revive him on the front lawn with Narcan
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Teacher accused of taking bribes from students for better grades. Florida tag gets to sit this one out because sex wasn't involved
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BGR)
 
 
 
NASA to hold press conference to announce it has found 'something' on Mars discussion thread. 2pm ET
source: bgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Any headline that begins 'Massive hog sculpture' must be from Arkansas
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: The flies swarming Central Florida are perfectly normal, and not in response to a local manifestation of Beelzebub. He's more of a Key West kind of dude
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Finally, Muslims and Jews can agree on something. Tag isn't about them agreeing, but about the chance that this doesn't go to court
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Axe murderer given three life sentences. Spookiest looking person in a suit you'll see today
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
"Instead of bicycle, box contained bearded dragon. Would not order again"
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
All town's residents called to inquest into missing man. All 12 of them. Bonus Fark: the town has been beset by feuds and bad blood for years
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
It only took 50 years but NYC is finally ready to correct the spelling of the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFXT)
 
 
 
Pity the public defender who has to explain this hit-and-run driver to a jury
source: fox25boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
Video
 
Bears invade Alaska golf course and claim the hole flag as their own
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Bagpiper arrested and cuffed by police for 'playing too loudly' - justice served
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Woman "drunk on enough bourbon to put her in a coma" drove drunk and killed someone, and the victim was a notorious hateful white supremacist
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Walmart pops the cork on its own private label wine at $11 per bottle, aspires to drunken brawl with Two-Buck Chuck
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cold isolated housing
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fay Observer)
 
 
 
Everyone has their favorite pizza toppings...pepperoni, sausage, onions, rat poison, anchov...wait, go back one
source: fayobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Fark: "Hey, Finland." ... *fistbump*
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Indiana 13-year-old with 2 guns who shot a teacher and student will be tried as a juvenile. Which is good, since he wants to take Little Suzie to the junior prom
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Crossfit Guy on Twitter had two choices - bluster about Crossfit and Big Soda or bluster about the homosexual agenda threatening freedom of expression. He regrets not taking the easy path
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
Couple loses custody of daughter due to a) alcoholism, b) parental abuse, c) receiving bad advice from God via a stuffed lion speaking in tongues
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
You can have it your way - as long as your way comes with Hepatitis
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Trooper's chance encounter with driver he pulled over leads to stunning realization -- he was the cop who delivered him 27 years ago
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(East Bay Times)
 
 
 
While it's somewhat unusual to see a fight in the middle of a suburban street, it's very unusual when it's between two bulls
source: eastbaytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Airport kills hog before it had a chance to be killed in the luggage compartment on a Delta flight
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Video shows boy playing Slip-and-Slide with plastic green alligator. PLOT TWIST: then the real thing shows up
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
91-year-old man gains Facebook following through puzzle work
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
In a strong attempt to dethrone Florida Man, Texas man decapitates rattlesnake, then is nearly fatally bitten by the severed head. With article that utterly fails to explain how the bite could occur, but I'm imagining the Killer Rabbit in Holy Grail
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 683: "Waterscapes 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 06, 2018
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
New Zealanders' taste in romantic partners becoming more sophisticated
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
"It's sad to say that that's someone's either daughter, mother or whatever," He said during televised interview, hours before the cops identified her as his mother and charged him with her homicide
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
U.S. Air Force airlifting 6 Guatemalan children to Galveston, Texas, for medical treatment due to injuries sustained during the eruption of the Fuego Volcano in Guatemala. Afterwards they'll be transferred to an abandoned Walmart
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
German bird poop expert declared emperor
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
For the 74th anniversary of D-Day, Popular Mechanics posts its 1944 article on how the historic invasion was planned
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsChannel 5 Nashville)
 
 
 
Apparently you can bring ketchup to a knife fight
source: newschannel5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: A sure sign that you've been spending too much time on Fark
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical News Today)
 
 
 
Could 'dog flu' be the next pandemic? No
source: medicalnewstoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
Student decides it would be fun to ride his dirt bike through his school's hallways as a senior prank, which doesn't go as expected, as you already know since you're reading this here
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Sometimes you have to let them 'get your goat'
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Cadillac really provides a luxury experience in their cars and SUVs. For example, you can get your ventilation system snaked out as you drive. Literally
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
I don't always pass out drunk, but when I do it's late at night and in the middle of the road
source: bigcountryhomepage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bristol Post (UK))
 
 
 
Three important things to know about the upcoming utilities works: Temporary traffic lights will be in place, your water supply won't be affected, and someone named Tom Wysocki is a tw*t
source: bristolpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Woman attempts to rob bank armed only with a blowjob
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
"Oh, you can milk just about anything with nipples." "But what if I don't have any nipples, Greg, can you still milk me?"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Body of a naked woman found next to a loaded crossbow in a Las Vegas motel room. Police have not ruled out foul play
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Finnish study finds non-drinkers more likely to miss work than heavy drinkers. In other news, Fark HR considers doing away with sick days
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pup)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dog wind
source: media.socastsrm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
PSA: Don't eat Red Lobster Cheese Biscuits and Drive
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
World's Oldest person turns 129 and wants to die. Which will happen any day now that it's posted on Fark
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Feel like hate-reading an article about an artisanal knife sharpener in San Francisco? Yes, it's a dude, not a heavily patinated hand-cranked Victorian machine
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Does scoring a classroom interview with Uncle Ant-Man make you the coolest kid in school?
source: mypalmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 12 Richmond)
 
 
 
Soldier swipes APC from Fort Pickett, drives to Richmond before arrest. Subby has been to Ft Pickett and understands
source: nbc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Having a roommate is great for cutting the rent in half. Cutting the roommate in half is generally frowned upon
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Electric vehicle foils would-be carjackers. No charge yet
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Where Murders Go Unsolved". Handy, color-coded maps for the murderer on the move
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Crocodile eats beloved terrier that had spent a decade taunting it - "It was something that had a high probability of happening sometime"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
How glassblowing is teaching students to be ready for business. I said GLassblowing
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Massive blaze engulfs Mandarin Oriental hotel in London's Knightsbridge area
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Lawyer accused of bringing drugs to jail and having sex with inmate once received $20,000 on the Ellen Degeneres show after saying she wanted to work with kids. Then it gets strange
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
Millennial YouTube hip-hop reviewer hears Rage Against the Machine for the first time, loses his damn mind
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
It now costs one gazillion dollars a year to maintain health care for a family of four. The silver lining is the costs have levelled off
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Nothing makes a honeymoon like travelling to America and sliding 1000 feet off a mountain ridge. Well, that and anal probably
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman and her flower
source: orig00.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Blind dachshund and pit bull who acts as his "guide dog" have found a forever home together. Welcome to this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gallup)
 
 
 
Gallup Poll: More people in the US feel fapping to pornography is "morally acceptable" than ever before. Yes, fap away America
source: news.gallup.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Tired of rescuing cats and ducks, firefighters deploy ladder truck to save stranded dog. It is unclear how the dog got on the roof. It's not news, it's bark
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Quebec minister says schools should discuss whether girls should be allowed to free the twins
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
In other news, they both had pureed carrots for lunch, need a diaper change, and it's about their nap time
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Very hungry caterpillar has operation to remove bits of 8-month old baby from its mouth. Wait, strike that, reverse it
source: cheknews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSN Wichita)
 
 
 
The case is heavy, but the evidence is concrete
source: ksn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
A car thief on LSD tells police he thought he was playing 'Grand Theft Auto.' And if he was on mushrooms it would have been Super Mario Bros
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Golf Digest)
 
 
 
Golf is a gentleman's game and players are kind to each other, except in Oklahoma
source: golfdigest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Ever wanted a house where you can warm your hands at the fireplace while at the same time taking a dump underneath a picture of Jesus?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's so hot in Mexico that the traffic lights are melting
source: mexiconewsdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Fishermen take shelter from storm in a storm drain tunnel, because there's no way those two things could be related
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Decider)
 
 
 
Local TV news anchor somehow manages to make an event about appreciating inflatable slides and balloons even more cringier than it already is
source: decider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Ohio DOT dubs Yakety Sax over traffic cam footage of someone with extraordinary backing skills
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 05, 2018
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
"Remember my face you punk ass biatch." OK
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Body of man 'obsessed' with Breaking Bad is found wrapped in plastic in New Mexico desert. Strangely not part of the script
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Syphilis and gonorrhoea up by one-fifth". Well, after one fifth, most likely
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Looking back to June 1962, when a plane carrying 100 art patrons from Atlanta crashed outside Paris. The crash and the aftermath defined a generation in Atlanta
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
If you're going to fornicate in a Walmart parking lot, make sure that you've not already been 86ed from all Walmarts or have outstanding arrest warrants. Just sayin'
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
Does anyone here remember the "Bass-o-matic" from SNL? These kids don't
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Sandusky raided, not that one
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Man tackled by police amid suspicious package investigation says he intended to be a hero, admits to having mental issues
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: An improvement to a roller coaster
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: The story behind THAT "server down" pic, plus an update on our TotalFark/BareFark promotion
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
You can't wear underwear with these £500 jeans that people are actually buying
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Sailors were known to have "a bride in every harbor." For firefighters, that sort of behavior doesn't work out that well
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
Let's check in on the erupting volcano in Hawaii. It seems a half mile wide flow of lava has completely filled in Kapoho Bay, destroying hundreds of additional homes overnight
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Argus Leader)
 
 
 
It started as your run-of-the-mill obituary. By the fifth sentence you expect a banner flown from a plane reading "WELCOME TO HELL, MOM"
source: argusleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
"I may be old, and had a stroke, but I'm not weak," says 67-year-old stroke victim who fought off a knife-wielding robber. "The guy standing at the door, I think I know who you are and you're mine"
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
After 49 straight days of complaints, multiple AWOLs, a suicide attempt, an OTH discharge, and three appeals dismissals without mention of the actual complaints, Navy finally admits that maaaaaaybe this sailor might have been sexually assaulted
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOMU Columbia)
 
 
 
Teacher charged for allegedly having sex with a student. Farkers clicking to see if the teacher is hot will be in for a surprise
source: komu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Wawa.You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you are going to live in your car in the parking lot of NYC's Port Authority Bus Terminal in Times Square, don't pack your cars with guns and hollow point bullets. Law enforcement gets a bit nervous about those things
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Cannabis fever grips Japan, comparable to the reefer madness that gripped America in days gone by. Professional: "I used to go in for harder drugs, but lately, those either don't work or else they kill you. With marijuana, you needn't worry"
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
FL DOT thinks that drunk drivers who are driving the wrong way on interstates will be able to read signs telling them they're going the wrong way
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shropshire Star)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sculptor at work
source: shropshirestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Decorated WWII vet and Purple Heart recipient says that if combat taught him anything, it's that the only beach worth landing on is "decorated with beautiful, seminude girls tanning in a tranquil sun." And that's where he spent the rest of his days
source: foto.gettyimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Normally, a burger isn't classified as a blunt-force weapon, but this was Wendy's
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJBF Augusta)
 
 
 
Rooster rescued from Santería ceremony repays their kindness by terrorizing the neighborhood. "That is one rogue rooster. I swear he's got fangs. I told my customers that one of these days we're going to serve fried chicken"
source: wjbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
New device can bring creatures up from the deep ocean. And then the murders began
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Lens NOLA)
 
 
 
House built with public funds, meant for affordable housing, resurfaces as a $500 a night Airbnb rental. Some people seem to have a problem with this
source: thelensnola.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Michigan state senator declares "recreational marijuana users could fail drug tests..., resulting in more people on public assistance... This would be unsustainable and make the Lost Decade look like the good ole days," TL;DR - Reefer madness lives
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delaware Online)
 
 
 
Yes, I would like a Whopper with OMG WHAT THE HELL IS THAT
source: delawareonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 29 Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania 8th-graders given ballistic shields as a graduation gift before heading off to high school
source: fox29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
"Kate Spade hanging in a closet" is not just a description of some yuppie's wardrobe anymore
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Hey-o yippee ki-yay: 'Drunken and disorderly' woman charged with drinking bottle of wine while riding horse to bottle-o at local pub
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Do you renounce Satan, and all his worAAAAAAAHHHHHH"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Fast forward to 10:30 to get to the underwater camera shot of crab traps in Louisiana. Then wait for it - crab fight
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJBF Augusta)
 
 
 
SC officials warn beachgoers to be on lookout for '80s metal gods wandering around wearing fur and leather, carrying chains and swords. \m/-.-\m/
source: wjbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
A van go, canned heat, and an alcoholic Coca-cola jingle for Japan. These are your May 27-June 2 Headlines of the Week
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
New app helps researchers track ticks. The hardest part is teaching the ticks to use it
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Alright whoever did this, what's your Fark handle and do you have a TF subscription? If not, I think we can set you up
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Is it still weird when it's two teachers having sex, with each other?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Miss America contestants remove their swimsuits
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Don't tamper with your sausage at work
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
As you can see from our CCTV footage traffic is flowing smoothly on Murgatroyd Road West and ... what the hell is that??
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Joe.ie)
 
 
 
Danny DeVito takes cardboard cutout of student - who took cardboard cutout of him to prom - to Paddy's. Someone should make a cardboard cutout of them together and take it somewhere
source: joe.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Know someone with Alzheimer's? Send them to France. They are building an Alzheimer's Village, where patients are "free ranged"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
Why are all those men waving flags at me? Is it a parade? They're wearing pretty orange vests. Hey, barricades, it is a parade. I'm gonna text all my friends. AHHHHHHHHHHH (with pics)
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
"A heroic story involving a turtle, goose, and unicorn played out this weekend in West Des Moines, and the whole thing was caught on video"
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Winganon Space Capsule
source: lh3.googleusercontent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Just your typical "going into labor during final exams at Harvard Law School" story
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Video shows the importance of keeping the gas pedal on the floor when trying to escape a pyroclastic flow
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Coroner's Office employee admits to selling heroin from morgue van. Story to the left, puns to the right
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Motorcyclist dies after crashing into bear in Oregon. Should have worn a bell
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trust.org)
 
 
 
Finally, a good reason to put a spoon in your underwear
source: news.trust.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Curiosity found something interesting on Mars, but NASA won't say what until Thursday. Which is pretty much what you'd expect from NASA if they were about to announce finding a colony of Martian lizard people. Just sayin
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Talking to 15-year-old online? Felony, register as a sex offender. Meet in real life and have sex? Misdemeanor
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(El Paso Times)
 
 
 
Bad: your vehicle takes heavy damage in a hail storm. Worse: said vehicle is an Airbus A319. Holy crap: while traveling at 30,000 feet (with bowel-clearing pic)
source: elpasotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
"911, what is your emergency?" "The godamned fire truck was leaving the station, and it just ran me over. WTF?"
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Scientists have discovered how much money you need to be happy--somewhere between tree-fiddy and one meeeelion dollars
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
4 hours of Ellicott City flooding video condensed into 4 minutes. Will the person with grey coupe parked beneath the dumpster please remove it from the culvert?
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida man hit child for eating 'all the Cheez-Its'. It looks like this 'man still needs more time to mature
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
If you thought the Larry Nassar Scandal gave MSU a black eye the school's Health Physicist wants you to hold his beer, bathe Flash The Basset Hound, bring him to his tent & Sparty On
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Gallery: "The opening is delayed because of rotting fish". Artist:" You cretins. That's intentional. It's rotting fish artwork." Gallery:" Please let us finish, the opening is delayed because of rotting fish artwork on fire." Artist:"0_o"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Rob Ford's brother embezzled millions from his dead brother's widow and kids to prop up his failing business as he runs for leader of Ontario on a pro-business agenda. But he's NOTHING like Trump. Believe me
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Remember the dancing FBI agent who accidentally shot somebody? There's video, he looks even more Responsible-Gun-Ownerish than we imagined. (Dumbass, Stupid, and Asinine tags duck for Followup tag)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a hammer is a good guy with a can of beans
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 04, 2018
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Legalize. Regulate. Tax
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPLC Lake Charles)
 
 
 
You know, striking and killing a black man with your truck might just have been a horrible accident, but if you go home and chat online with your buddies about how you just killed "some [n-word]" and use a smiley emoticon, people are gonna double check
source: kplctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily News Online)
 
 
 
If your parade float features a black baby hanging from a tree, you just might be called a racist
source: thedailynewsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Cambodia's new airport train is already a success because: a) it makes a profit, b) decreased travel time for business travelers and tourists, or c) it's free until August so poor people can ride air-conditioned trains all day to cool off?
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this impending storm
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Since it's the first Monday in June, tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) brings you two hours of songs that peaked in the month of June, covering 1956 to 1979
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Mobile)
 
 
 
Rearranging cemetery gravesites never goes as smoothly as rearranging living room furniture
source: fox10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Woman took a dead person's car and belongings, may be dead herself. Which probably means zombies
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
The remains of the Titanic were actually discovered in 1985 during a secret Cold War mission to locate two sunken subs
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
New Zealand sex worker becomes a Dame. It's amazing what modern science can do
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Someone gets hit by a train. Do you a) rush to their aid, b) call emergency services or c) stand around and take selfies?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Man attempts to row the 3,200 miles from New York to Scotland, makes it about 20 or so
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Still no cure for -- wait a minute -- wow, never mind
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Anyone need a new band name? Teen Vogue has your new one: "vaginal panic attack"
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hair
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
A good brand can indicate high quality especially if it's a cheesy photo of a drug lord on packages of cocaine
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Used to be, Florida was tough. Nowadays, everyone gets their panties in a bunch over a gator rearranging their porch furniture
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Jesse Duplantis suddenly discovers the internet: says he's not asking followers to buy him a $54 million private jet. He just wants them to 'believe' the aircraft into existence
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Best childhood friends find out five decades later that they are actually sisters after DNA tests
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Dissatisfied with your recent shoe purchase? File a one star review on Yelp. Of course, you may have other options, if you're Zeus
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Study shows that too much bad news makes you mentally ill and physically sick. Ask your doctor if Farkitol® is right for you
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
World's largest internal mollusc irritant sells for $374,000
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
Weeners
 
♪ "I'm a shark I'll eat your diiiiick"♪ (NSFW/Graphic content)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Not News: Woman flashes breast on Google Maps. Fark: Breast receives hundreds of five-star reviews
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Rookie is 2018 Oyster Eating Champion after eating a whopping 40 DOZEN oysters in 8 minutes. "I didn't really have a technique. I just slurped and slurped, rinse and repeat"
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
"High on synthetic marijuana", "driving under the influence", and wait... there's a twist
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
'Jackett admitted to police he was high on Xanax and Adderall while refilling a Zippo lighter and accidentally spilled the fluid and caught the table on fire. He...panicked and initially told them someone threw a bomb through his window.'
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Express Tribune (Pakistan))
 
 
 
One person dies from tobacco consumption every five seconds. Man that dude really needs to quit smoking
source: tribune.com.pk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Man in China finds out the hard way that eggplants don't cure constipation
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
So in reality who owns the treasure under the sea? Apparently it's not Spongebob Squarepants as we were led to believe as kids
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this satellite reveal
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Drunk woman crashes into Moose. No word if her name was Natasha
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Someone alerted Fox News that white cops are affected by the opioid crisis, and suddenly they care a great deal about victims of this horrific health epidemic
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Airlines doing what they know best, killing pets
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Two 15-year-olds out to prank motorists with the ol' floating teddy bear gag apologize for devolving into the Case Of The Garroted Motorcyclist
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Texan woman shoots and kills her husband for being a little rough with her pussy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It's not your diamond-encrusted dildo, it's *a* diamond-encrusted dildo (not safe for work)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meh, it's just a scratch (warning: graphic images)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Kim fires his top three generals, not out of a cannon this time
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Everett Herald)
 
 
 
B-52 takes over Seattle's I-5, 405 freeways for 35-mile trip to new home at Vietnam Veterans Memorial Park; "It's a damn plane on the damn road"
source: heraldnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Mexicans are reviving small-town America
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
It's the same old story in Chicago: Man urinates on train platform, woman asks man to stop, man punches woman for having the audacity to confront him
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Guatemalan volcano is en Fuego
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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