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| Sun June 03, 2018 |
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Man uses foolproof method of checking to see if a pistol is loaded
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Roving gangs terrorizing residents, causing thousands of dollars in damage to properties and cars. Difficulty: gangs of peacocks
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1,500 dolphins play with humpback whales in Monterey Bay. I heard about this in a podcast
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Photoshop these Icelandic ice bath contestants
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Do we re-set the clock when a woman in parking garage overlooking San Diego's Rock & Roll Marathon holds an airsoft rifle to her mouth while a SDPD officer accidentally shoots himself?
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Congo health officials confirm five new cases of ebola. This is fine, everything is fine
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Man from the year 6491. Aliens. Giorgio is beside himself
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It has been a month let's see how things are going on the Big Island. A 12-acre lava lake is missing and Kilauea is cracking. So, I'm guessing not so good. WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE GRAB THAT DAMN CAT
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Photoshop this museum exhibit
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Mystery arsonist sets town's tollbooth on fire ... because everyone hated it
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| (Some Tart) |
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I see your rhubarb, kale and horseradish festivals and raise you a festival you would want to go to ... Buttertarts
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Power outage shuts down Germany's 5th largest airport. Johnny wasn't kidding this time, biatches
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♫ ♬ No more pencils / No more books / No more teacher's / Dirty looks, yeah ♫ ♬
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Men with beards looking up. That is all
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♫ ♬ Lamb on the rocks | Ain't no surprise | If you fall in the sea it can be your demise | Got yourself out but to be saved you must shout | All the time ♫ ♬
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Protip: If you're going to go full prepper, make sure your electrical work is up to code
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Forensic psychiatrist who worked on JonBenet case shot dead. Prepare for a 20-year investigation and 16 Dateline episodes of speculation
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Eat a Kit-Kat the wrong way? You better believe I'm breaking up with your sorry ass over that
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Customs officials steal family's entire life savings and after 90 days are still scrabbling for a bogus reason to keep the stolen money
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You can't book me into jail if you don't have my booking paperwork, amirite?
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Photoshop this bird and deer
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| (Some Guy) |
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CSB Sunday Morning: Road Trips and Roadside Attractions
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| (Some Root) |
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I see your rhubarb and kale festivals... and top them with horseradish
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Fashionistas say the puffy sleeve look is back. "Such clothes make wearers look stylish and offer a fresh perspective to help them get out of a fashion rut"
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Remember that California wildfire in 2017 that caused all those mudslides? It's finally out
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Man arrested for walking around a clothing store while naked
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FARK-ready headline: Shirtless, knife-wielding man with snake fatally shot by police at strip mall. No word on the snake
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Outrage in Germany as far-right leader describes Nazi era as a 'speck of bird poop in more than a thousand successful years' of the country's history
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Finally a race for the rest of us: Lard Butt 1k. Sign up now, free doughnuts every 250 meters
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Florida man decides that he doesn't want to walk to impound lot, nor wait for it to open in the morning
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Calvary arrives none too soon for man being chased by swordsman. (w/video)
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Oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz clunk BLAM
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| Sat June 02, 2018 |
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Woman accused of leading police on a high speed chase says it wasn't her..... as people commonly get her mixed up with other women
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Why your children are such misbehaving little shiatheels and what you can do about it. Or, rather, what you could do about it if you weren't the sort of parent who raised misbehaving little shiatheels in the first place
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The morel of the story is, sometimes a mushroom is just a mushroom
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Alt-righter who represents himself winds up with perjury charges for lying to grand jury
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Photoshop these bombardiers
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It's a Florida mystery. Someone keeps mailing these Florida people $8000 in cash and they want to put a stop to it
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First responders in Huntington, West Virginia, to become no responders for overdose cases
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Army specialist Christopher Harris died in Afghanistan before meeting his newborn daughter. His unit recently did a photo shoot welcoming the baby. Can someone please get rid of all the dust in here??
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I'll see your rhubarb festival and raise a kale festival
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Police in Davenport, IA seek man in connection with shooting. With helpful photo in thread (site fixed)
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Photoshop this meeting of the minds
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Small airplane clips tractor-trailer hauling pigs during emergency landing on highway. People and bacon-on-the-hoof all okay
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You're not a true hero unless you do a flying headbutt to save a woman (warning: disturbing video)
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Pro Tip: When embezzling with the company credit card, don't use it at Victoria's Secret. People will pick up on that
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Devil's weed came to Georgia, lookin' for soul to heal. The case was sad, seizures bad, parents despair you could feel. Days without that pain seemed a mighty fine thing, but the sheriff was called to enforce the law, and charges had to bring
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Talk about one hits making a comeback
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Sit back with your mug of murk and your favorite choker hole and enjoy the lost lingo of New York City's soda jerks of yore
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What happens when you tell your spouse you want to bring a sex doll into the bedroom?
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While we weren't paying attention Spain ousted its corrupt conservative leader and replaced him with an atheist socialist
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Dalton GA couple robbed at gunpoint in driveway of their home. How lucky were these thieves when they found out the woman was wearing $20,000 worth of jewelry. Who knew?
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Yeah about the German zoo's 'escaped big cats' that were causing mass hysteria, they never left their cages
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| (Some Guy) |
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Wine-beer hybrids are perfect for those nachos and lobster tail combination dinners
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Seriously, who throws eggs at the Amish?
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Man kidnaps family to do yard chores, makes them recite the pledge of allegiance
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♫ ♬ ♬ 'Cause I'm fappin' on a jet plane, don't care and now I'll fap again ♬♫
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Who the hell has a festival dedicated to rhubarb, the most disgusting vegetable known to man? Oh, yes, the midwest
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Photoshop this abandoned room
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Former manager of 2 Chainz, buys 1 Whip for homeless high school senior in Houston so she could use her scholarship in Austin
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Blue whale found in Red Sea makes scientists all purple
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Where have you gone, Shaky's Pizza, Chi-Chi's, Red Barn, Lum's, Joe DiMaggio?
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Malaysia opens crowdfunding site to pay down national debt. No word on what benefits you get as a gold level backer
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Uber's Terms of Service either need updating or more publicity
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That posh British commentator who was all over the royal wedding coverage? Yeah, he's actually a real estate guy named Tommy Muscatello, from upstate New York. Fuhgeddaboutit, Your Highness
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OLD: Pineapple on pizza. NEW: Durian on pizza
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Is it really a police chase if the perp stops for red lights?
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| Fri June 01, 2018 |
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Lions, tigers and jags, oh my
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Please note: if you leave a gun in your car, it may be a welcome find for the escaped prison inmate who drives away with it
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| (The Doors) |
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Photoshop The Knob
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Ferrari 250 GTO sells for record $70 million. It won the 1964 Tour de France. Those bicycles didn't have a chance
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That time when a guy parachuted on top of Devil's Peak in order to win a bet with a guy who kept a pet rattlesnake under his hat, and couldn't get down
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Everyone can relax: Miss Manners has weighed in, and yes, you can eat nachos with your fingers
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Details emerge on the "assassination" of the Russian journalist in Ukraine. His wife was in on it, it was arranged by an arms manufacturer, and the "assassin" was a very angry priest
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Sex Dungeon. Nudist Spa. It's what the pearl-clutching Daily Mail was created to report on. With helpful picture of what a hot tub looks like
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So, you can actually be charged for "aggressive meat sales?"
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Subway customer whips out ruler and finds '6-inch sub' is actually just 4½ inches. She must be fun on dates
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Tropical cyclone is forming over... Lake Michigan?
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Knife violence is soaring in the UK, but don't worry: This judge says they can lower it by making it illegal to sell knives with a point. Or a sharp blade. Really. No, I'm not making this u--look, stop laughing--that's really what he said
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Porn actress takes break from 200 scenes a year to run for president. "A lot of people did not think I was serious," she says
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| (Some cowboy) |
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Photoshop this awkward predicament
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Article claims wedge salad is the perfect salad. Skip Woosnam seen nodding approvingly
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Oregon employers say state has run out of workers who can pass a drug test. Florida too high to comment
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Two million bees stolen in an undercover sting operation
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Youth football team rescues injured couple from overturned car
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Busted taillight leads to 3 dead bodies, 1 kidnap victim. Just imagine if the guy hadn't had proof of insurance
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30-year-old son finally moves out of home...but not before calling the cops 'cause dad wouldn't let him look for his Legos
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Can't you see this? It's right there
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HIgh school dean shoots student for not selling enough weed. Not saying he should have been shot, but an inability to sell weed at a high school is pretty pathetic
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It's like snake whacking day, except with shotguns
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This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife
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Florida woman gets seven years and deportation for forced labor of illegal immigrant - as in, forcing her to have sex with various men to try to get pregnant
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Police shoot woman accused of stabbing therapist in Fullerton. For those of you who are not anatomy students, the Fullerton is just below the Brea
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That 30-year-old bum has finally moved out of his parents' house, thanks to Alex Jones
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PACOM renamed INDOPACOM. Subordinate commands plan to adjust, so get ready for INDOPACFLT, INDOPACMAN, Ms. INDOPACMAN, Indiana INDOPACERS, Green Bay INDOPACKERS, Manny INDOPACQUIAO, INDOPACIFIC Rim, INDOPACHELBEL, and delicious INDOPACZKI
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"Remarkable" footage of Loch Ness Monster showing the 20ft beast "cavorting" in the water gets accepted by the Official Loch Ness Monster Sightings Register ... because of the pixels
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Air escaping through a hole in a dachshund's windpipe causes him to blow up like an overstuffed sausage. After a trip to the vet and a few stitches, he's properly deflated and good as new (with pics)
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Don't forget to get your free doughnuts for national doughnut day. Here's a list of where to grab your freebies today
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Tend your garden or burglars will spring up like weeds (possible nsfw content on page)
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"We're gonna need a bigger boat"
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It's Fish Fryday in the UK, here's how to make the perfect fish and chips at home according to the best chippies around the country
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Photoshop this fop art
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Like a true Haligonian, Theodore the Tugboat has decided to move west for work. Needless to say, the locals aren't having it
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Canada serves up sass and $16.6B in tariffs: "We will continue to make arguments based on logic and common sense and hope that eventually they will prevail against an administration that doesn't always align itself around those principles"
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Men almost exterminated themselves some 7,000 years ago. Almost. Hold my beer
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Dog poops in yard. Then things turn Tarantinoesque very quickly
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Teen Vogue has some advice on how to get your summer vagina ready. Maybe Fark is mature enough for Teen Vogue after all
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Cops: A 19 year old and his girlfriend hired a hitman to kill his father
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220 years later, shipwrecked beer finally reaches destination. No word on the bar towels
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An un-bee-lievable crime
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The Unbearable Stench of an Unwashed Man is the name of my next novel
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You thought HOAs were bad? Clearly you've never been to Doraville, GA
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Mama's got a squeeze box, where she keeps the meth
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Oversaturation of the marijuana growing industry in Oregon has resulted in such a glut that there is currently 1/4 pound of weed on hand for every person in the state
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| (Some Stumps-Dweller) |
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She burns your neck with her cigarette, you break her arm. That's the Yucca Valley Way
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In a continuing series of things NOT to do in a public pool .... #49 - Shaving your legs
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Nine-year-old boy judged to have best handwriting in America. And he can do cursive too
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| Thu May 31, 2018 |
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Police claim a teen planned a 'bigger than Columbine' school shooting, and tried to recruit friends to join him
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Jersey Shore real estate sign washes ashore in France, 6 years after Hurricane Sandy. Police are said to be monitoring The Situation
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"Jogger gored by bison on morning run." Never bother a bison on his morning run
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If you think the Meth you recently purchased might be contaminated with the Zika Virus, just bring it to the Police Department and they will test it for free
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Sixteen-year-old gets thirteen for two from a nine. It was my understanding there would be no math
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Police on lookout for suspects who fled from cosmetic surgery clinic without paying for £2,000 worth of Botox and lip fillers. Suspects described as 'slightly disturbing looking' (pics)
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, isn't it?
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$4 to cover 1% of the damages the cop were responsible for after shooting a black man through his own garage door, then finding the gun they said he aimed at them was in his back pocket
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The Nigerian prince spamming you for money has nothing on this guy
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| (Good Fences) |
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Photoshop this barricade someplace useful
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Super-fleas with giant PENISES more than twice the size of their bodies to invade UK
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You're surrounded by lava. Shooting at it or at your neighbors isn't a solution
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Learning gardens teach urban students skills to help survive the coming zombie apocalypse
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"Spiders are secretly great roommates"
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Mama Leone left a note on the door... Sonny, move out to the country, Workin' too hard can give you, A heart attack (ack) You oughta know by now (oughta know by now) If that's what it's all about, Mama if that's movin' up, Then I'm movin' out
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Girl with robotic hand has thrown out the first pitch at 9 ball parks, wants to do it at every major league park, arm wrestle Thanos
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"Mommy, look what we found in the lake"
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Lawyer for former USC medical school dean: 'Yes, my client used methamphetamine while working at the school - but only because his mental illness allowed him to fall head over heels for a drug-addicted hooker.'
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Another day, another fake ghost image on the internet
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There are some very good reasons to move out of your apartment and into a new one. 'Roaches laying eggs in your ears' is high on that list
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Photoshop this Korean Army soldier
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I'm not sure what is weirder: the fact that the burglar stole Old Spice deodorant or that he spells his name J-A-S-O-N-E
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Lowe's is banning some paint strippers from all their stores. Clothes strippers still welcome
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Contemptuous Knight moons judge
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Gambians sue ex-leader over bogus herbal remedy, because apparently you can't cure HIV by rubbing plants on people
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Snow leopards could be saved from extinction due to A: Stronger preservation efforts? B: Advances in technology? or C: Selfies?
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If you're the one responsible for the 'strong smell' in the back of this plane that forced a panicked, emergency landing, in a way that's kind of impressive
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We had a choice of steak or fish. Ah yes, I remember. I had the Lasagna Penile Reconstruction Surgery
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Dog named Atari to get behavior training after being run over by police, burying millions of copies of E.T. in the desert
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New scam targets Catholics, by asking them to give money to . . . hey, waitaminute
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HVAC contractor arrested for trying to get rid of nagging customer by lacing air conditioner with mercury
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Stop rinsing your chicken. You might doom humanity
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Mjölnir has been stolen from a Melbourne bar. Police describe the perpetrator as "worthy"
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Exceptions? What exceptions. Exceptions are for losers. Tariffs are for winners. We're going to have the best economy, you'll see
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Armed robbery attempt fails due to lack of ammo
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Bad: Your car is repossessed. Worse: Repo man finds your 8-year-old alone in it in the parking lot
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Memorial Day was also National Burger Day. Slap those leftover patties on a bun and take the Fark Weird News Quiz, May 20-26 What Do You Put on Your Burger Edition
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You go out, have a few beers with the wife of one of the people your dad killed and come home to find your boyfriend played video games all day; of course you are going to get a little handsy, who hasn't been there?
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Woman gives birth at abortion clinic
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Photoshop this main attraction
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If you're running away from the scene of your car crash, don't hand off your infant to strangers
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If you threw a 7-month-old puppy from a gold Saturn while speeding down a Richmond street on Sunday the police, animal lovers and karma would really like to talk to you
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A gas price protest sputtered to a stop when only one solitary protester showed up, despite 5,000 people saying they would attend. Fark: Even the organizer didn't show up
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Snoop Dogg breaks Guinness World Record for largest gin and juice. " It took 180 bottles of Hendrick's Gin, 154 bottles of apricot brandy and 38 jugs of orange juice to make the epic drink"
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NRA: The vets love us. Vets: No, actually we don't
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"Black Panther" stuntman covers rent money for family of fruit vendors beaten & robbed at gas station. Now if they can find an Infinity Gauntlet for the perps
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Source of mysterious Pa. booms about what you'd expect
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"For at least 40 years I have been doing battle with fast food clerks and restaurant waitresses over the difference between hamburgers and cheeseburgers because I do not like cheese on my hamburger"
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Valet channels Ferris Bueller's Day Off with less hilarious results
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Duck... Duck... Goose goes horribly wrong
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Video of Ukrainian agents calmly snatching suspect in Arkady Babchenko case as he walks down sidewalk
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Farmer gets truck stuck in field. Doesn't have time to worry about it due to the three tornadoes surrounding him (video)
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Christiaens killed by big 'Cat. This is not a repeat from 70 AD
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 682: "Living History 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed May 30, 2018 |
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Fins from the endangered placid whale shark were discovered on a Singapore Air flight en route to Hong Kong
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Woman lowers herself into storm drain to save ducklings, presumably from evil clown
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Abstain from sex unless you're married, or we'll fire you
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Nobody wants to deliver the paper anymore. Which is great since nobody wants to receive it
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South Carolina Lottery announces that tickets are only a mistake when they're winners
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Alabama man arrested for smearing ketchup on statue of doctor who
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Sky-typing plane crashes, his last message reads "help, no fu--" whatever that means
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So, when two lesbians decide to move their relationship up to the next level towards marriage, which one proposes? Just wondering.... what's that you say, Little El Paso Girl? And how did it get so dusty?
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Label these cookies
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Fark NotNewsletter: It's takesies-backsies time
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Singapore Airlines re-launches non-stop Singapore-Newark flight. At almost 19 hours in the air, savvy flyers have time for dinner, an ambien nap, breakfast, a second ambien nap, second breakfast, and not having to remember getting to Newark
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Hashish blamed in 5-hour firetruck indecent exposure standoff
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What kind of previous charges could a new school principal possibly have? Oh. Oh Dear
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Headline: Pew survey of Europeans reveals 19 percent of Germans would disapprove of a Jewish family member. Article: Italians, British, and Austrians are even more bigoted
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Probably a bad omen for an 8-year-old guest grabbed and mauled by a kangaroo in your safari attraction when your logo's lifted from "Jurassic Park"
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"If you live anywhere in the eastern U.S., you had a moment this winter when you just wished it was summer." Unfortunately, you've gotten your wish
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Step one: Tell Disney resort guests that an "active shooter" is on the premises. Step two: Film their reactions to post on your YouTube channel. Step three: Jail
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After leading police on chase, woman objects to sobriety tests and states that she's not drunk. "I already told you, I smoked crack"
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If a Facebook post directs you to a pile of onions in the desert, do not load your pickup truck full of them, as they're neither free nor meant for human consumption
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Photoshop Theme: Photoshop your own worst TV Show concept. Link for inspiration
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After being told he would have to stop the publicity tour if he wanted to represent Stormy in the Cohen case, Avenatti withdraws motion to do so
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Florida Man arrested after getting evicted from hotel after noise complaint, bringing guns, ammo unto property, charged with stalking, hunting tourists out of season
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Better hope your neighbors don't win the lottery, because neighbors of lottery winners tend to go bankrupt
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How jail guards haze newbies
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Why does every Florida Publix have a giant scale? We can assume the guess-your-weight carny dissuaded shoppers
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It is unclear what exactly sparked off the brawl of the century but one calls the other a sl** before all hell breaks loose
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Why has Utah had so many tornadoes this year? Because SLUT sucks
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Terror suspect found in possession of dangerous, deadly sawn-off fly swatter
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Archaeologists in Pompeii discover remains of a man with the worst luck ever
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All-star identity thief copies LinkedIn resume, lands six-figure job, GETS PROMOTED five months later. Since you're reading this on Fark....
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Remains of US pilot shot down over Vietnam finally returning home. Jeez, how high was that guy flying?
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| (Some Ice Cream Man) |
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Sweet Jesus Ice Cream faces boycott from Christians who find it disgusting that anyone would equate the body of Christ with food
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Community gives a sigh of relief as the Sheboygan toilet clogger is busted
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THeRe aRE nEW rULeS iN ENGlisH FoR CaPiTaLiZaTiOn. use THeM
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Wildwood, NJ mayor doubles down in defending the officer who repeatedly punched a 20-year-old mother in the head. "Women are hard to control"
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Ambien maker Sanofi: "racism is not a known side effect"
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That Ukrainian journalist who was murdered yesterday is alive and well. The murder was staged by Ukrainian intelligence with his cooperation to expose Russian agents operating in the country - something he might have mentioned to his wife
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Apparently there's been another transporter malfunction on The Enterprise
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Baptist church removes statue of Christ because it's "too Catholic." Wait until they find out he was Jewish
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Valve Corp. pulls 'active school shooter' video game. Company says it will instead release a 'gun control' game, but the demo appears to be unwinnable
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Sing us a song, Long Island Rail Road riders
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When your Floridian parents name you Crystal Methvin , you're pretty much guaranteed to eventually become a Fark headline
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this winner
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One plus one equals ten; airport delivery style. Definitely a repeat but too sweet not to share. It's Woofday Wednesday
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The reason why it is OK for female critics to lust after male actors. Hey I didn't say it was a GOOD reason
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So we now know the cost of wishing death upon a 17-year-old kid who survived a mass school shooting and is trying to make the world a better place: 5 days' pay
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@¿@
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Poo
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Lake Tahoma Dam in McDowell County, NC failing. Evacuations ordered downstream
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Bill Browder, long time Putin enemy due to Magintsky sanction efforts, arrested on Russian Interpol arrest warrant in Spain
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The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun robbing a fast food restaurant is a good guy with a gun firing from outside the drive-thru window
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The hits just keep on coming: Tesla in Autopilot mode crashes into police vehicle
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Trade Wars: The Canucks Strike Back
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Which is true of Pyongyang's three-Kim dynasty? (A) Kim Il-sung's cult of personality inspired Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu; (B) Kim Jong-il kidnapped his favorite film director; (C) Kim Jong-un had his half-brother poisoned; or all of these
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And you thought YOU graduated college with a hefty bill
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Roseanne Barr achieves "Cosby Status" as all re-runs of her classic ABC sitcom have been pulled off 3 cable channels
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| Tue May 29, 2018 |
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Jesus saves
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You ever notice that if you die before about age 40 or so, they headline writers never say you "passed away" or even just "died" ; but instead always say you were "found dead'?
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World record and several bones broken in Gloucester hill cheese rolling competition
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Ever want to see what it would look like if a shark swallowed your head? Now you can, courtesy of this submarine drone
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Photoshop this gremlin
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USGS: "Please don't roast marshmallows over the erupting Hawaii volcano." Hawaiians: "Hold my beer"
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Stercus accidit
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Dog assists in scooter robbery, no word on how they'll get the stains out of the carpet
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Missouri Governor Eric Greitens (R) expected to announce resignation to spend more time with family, amateur photography hobby *UPDATE: It's official
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Florida brewery unveils six-pack rings that feed sea turtles rather than kill them. Still not safe from drunken college students, though
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Not news: Man wants to stop smoking. Fark: He's 114 years old. At this point, why bother?
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It was a million to one shot, doc, million to one
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"Jack Sock gets messy"
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Photoshop this basking turtle
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Gynecologist sues patient for $1 million over one-star Yelp review, which has so far cost the patient $20k defending herself
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Wolverines found in unexpected places like Wyoming, Washington State, Soviet tanks
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And here are the most impressive verbal yoga poses media outlets used to avoid calling Roseanne racist
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Protip: If you want to get away with murder just don't take the girlfriend with you when you collect on the hit
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Photographer at a breaking news event gives Fox News a NSFW reply when they ask to use his photos, which was then promptly ignored. Then the copyright trolls showed up
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Doing lines with Peppa Pig, leading cows into the ocean for dinner, and digital communication with other drivers; I hereby demand that these are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-05-20 to Sat 2018-05-26
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The FBI would like you to reboot your router. The CIA can handle updating your toaster just fine, though
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"The use of mortars has always been a common feature of political demonstrations in Nicaragua"
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Rest easy knowing you'll be dead when the coming apocalypse hits, and the poor billionaires will have to live it out in luxurious "doomsday" dugouts - with swimming pools, cinemas and wine vaults
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Televangelist claims that Jebus wants people to buy him a new $54 million Dassault Falcon 7X business jet, because his three other jets aren't up to par
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Homeless, carless man who attempted to remedy the latter by stealing an unmarked police car to have the former solved
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Kid raises $6,000 for his sick brother with lemonade stand, which, coincidentally, is the way Republicans think the 99% should finance their health care
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Photoshop this waterway
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If a tree falls on a news anchor and cameraman and no one is around to report it, does it make the news?
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Malaysian fire fighters receive chocolate treats that police are barred from receiving. "As this is the fasting month, I am sure their children would be very happy to receive these chocolates"
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Man who drove the length of Britain in nine hours "should be prosecuted for speeding"
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When your firetruck catches on fire in the firehouse
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Panama City: come for the sunshine, stay for the vortex flinging pool noodles at your family
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It's neither Woofday nor Caturday but this is an awesome combo with firemen, paramedics, puppies and kitties
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NYPD doesn't understand the concept of 'Freedom to associate' (NSFW)
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Another reason to go through life playing Pokemon Go while your son is being rescued by the "Spider-Man" of France: You can corner the market as the world's biggest loser
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Mother Nature's war against Knoxville, TN continues after a snake knocks out power to over 4000 residents. Rare animals knocking out power/Knoxville, TN trifecta in play
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Asinine: Small Alaska town's only ambulance vandalized. Spiffy: Wisconsin tourist buys them a new one. Hero: ...and drives it there
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The only WWII battle fought on American soil was a brutal, nightmarish campaign. And everyone's forgotten about it, except the guys who were there
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Photoshop this UK village
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40,000 gallons of paint spills onto freeway. Although most vehicles stopped, witnesses swear they saw a van go
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Minnesota roads crack and buckle under stress of unexpected 100-degree heatwave. Probably time to put away the scarves and earmuffs
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Millions of tourists going for walks in the California desert overwhelm the small team of 80 year old volunteers who rescue them
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Sorry Europe, but you will have to take my Q-Tip from my cold, waxy ear
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Luna, a drug-sniffing dog, and Hemi, an explosives-sniffing dog, take top honors at US sniffer dogs competition ....by a nose
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Under no circumstances are you permitted to attempt DIY deportations, Mr. Flight School Instructor
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Not to brag, but...
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Photoshop this hawt mess
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Yo dawg, I heard you like shirts, so here's a £935 t-shirt for your shirt (possible nsfw content on page)
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Japanese business man pays $29K for pair of melons at auction. Yes, the actual fruit
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Tip for visitors to the world's largest cuckoo clock: When the dancing girl comes out, don't try to dance with her
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29-year-old "penniless student" chosen by 55-year-old Russian oil tycoon's kids to be his new wife. Because it's the Daily Mail, I now question the existence of penniless students
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Fed up with people using your private street as a shortcut to the beach? The solution is simple: Make it a toll road
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Are we not doing phrasing anymore?
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CHP cruiser knocks down motorcyclist on memorial ride, then arrests him for good measure
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Shore fisherman catches 3-foot lemon shark, releases it into surf. As you're reading this here, you can guess what happens next
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"Randy Thibeault is confident his truck could survive the apocalypse." Randy Thibeault is a loony
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The chocolate-filled pastry wars have begun
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You ever have lucid dreams? Ever wondered what it's like? Well, it can be pretty farked up
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Historic homes available in Virginia for zero-dollar lease, provided that the tenants fix the walls, ceiling, plumbing, and bathrooms. And install a kitchen
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UK woman breaks her arm during arm wrestling. If that sounds a bit over the top, well, it is
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You ever go on your honeymoon and come back to find someone built a 6-foot tall fence all around your home with a 2-foot clearance?
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Protip: When Penny the waitress robot will be serving you your restaurant breakfast in the near future, don't pat her on the backside as she passes by -- she might be equipped with lasers
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UK train passengers left stranded and confused when their packed cross-country train goes cross-country ...in the wrong direction
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British expat takes forehead tattoos to a whole new level of stupid after getting giant 'Taiwan' tattoo on his forehead while drunk, gets beat up by Chinese men for it
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I guess you could say law students in Connecticut lowered the bar (•_•) / ( •_•)⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■)
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Rain on your wedding day is one thing. Cars floating down the street is another
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Photoshop these tradesmen
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MaineDOT warning signs have been giving helpful advice this weekend, like "A Cold Suppah Is Bettah Thana Hot Ticket" and "Spend Money on Lobstahs - Not Speeding Tickets"
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Man wearing a clown mask and wielding scissors and wooden post learns the hard way that he messed with the wrong Little Caesars employee
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"What are you going to do, shoot me?" asked shooting victim
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Splooosh
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Federal authorities say yes; they took 1,500 children away from their families, and yes; they deported their parents; and yes, they assigned the 1,500 children to foster homes, but it's not THEIR fault the children disappeared somewhere on the way
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Vermont State Troopers are asking for help naming their new bomb sniffing dog. Since you're reading this on Fark, you know what to do
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Man pleads no contest to 5-year-old girl's rape, sentenced to 90 days of house arrest and doesn't have to register as sex offender. Article sums it up perfectly: "Burgess is very wealthy"
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71-year-old woman reaches milestone of doing a headstand in all 50 states. Goals, people
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Animal farts lift Virginia Tech researcher's book to New York Times bestselling list. Man, what are they feeding those things?
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Woman in critical condition after jet ski crash in Ocean City. Next time read the entire sign
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"They still went into a pitch black, badly damaged basement beneath a molten reactor core that was slowly burning its way down to them" -- how a real suicide squad helped save the day at Chernobyl
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New culling program means farmers in the UK could get up to $70 for every badger they kill, though they'll earn nothing for mushrooms or snakes
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Off-duty DC firefighters rescue man with critical injuries from PG County water crash. Later tonight, off-duty firefighters rescue really attractive woman from R County
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Ellicott City, MD awash in 1000 year floodwaters for the 2nd time in 2 years
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