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Sun May 06, 2018
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Mini superhero is determined to save the homeless in Alabama; one sandwich at a time
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Tinder Fire in Arizona swipes right on 33 homes
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
With increased presence of jumpsuits, vegan cake, and zipwire cameras, millennials are killing the traditional marriage ceremony to suit their agenda. "Weddings are now being planned to take account of social media and concern for the environment"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Jury finds Santa Claus guilty of burglary, aggravated stalking for breaking into woman's trailer to leave her samples from his 90-pound sack of panties. Ho ho ho
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PetaPixel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this photogenic polar bear
source: petapixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Here are 19 tips on how to eat and drink like an Italian. #19: Stop taking pictures of your food
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Lizzie Borden took an ax, and gave her mother forty whacks. Now you can sleep in that same room, for $275 not including tax
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mother signs papers to take son off life support. Kid comes out of his coma. Talk about awkward conversations
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Roanoke Times)
 
 
 
Not news: Car crash. News: Followed by a truck crash. Fark: That releases bees
source: roanoke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bad spirit
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's that brief time of year when we can save on our electric bill while airing out the house. Open your window and take the Weekly Weird News Quiz, April 22-28 Fresh Air Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
You're a super-fan of Star Trek. You invest hundreds of thousands of your own money into building exact replicas of The Original Series sets to make your own fan films. Who should you invite to take a tour of those sets?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
"Hey, where'd all the crystal meth in the evidence locker go?"
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Carjacker leads cops on wild chase, breaks into your house to hide in attic, falls through ceiling, SWAT team breaks doors, windows, tosses tear gas in to flush him out. Insurance company: "Sucks to be you. Denied"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
John Lennon found alive and well in Wisconsin living on Big Macs
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
If you're wondering what to get that special woman in your life on your third anniversary together, why not consider a painting of a half-naked Jeff Goldblum?
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
But seriously, how much can you really trust a roller coaster named "Steel Vengeance"?
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Off-duty cop pulls a gun on man that bought a Mentos. Unfunniest commercial EVAR
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Carnival cruise ship heading to Caribbean recreates flooding scene from Titanic movie, passengers amused after learning they weren't sinking. Well, somewhat amused
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Warning? C'mon, Dave. Gimme a break
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
You can choose what type of parent you're going to be. Don't choose to be the type of parent who thinks their child's scrawling doodle of a turkey is so precious and unique you get a tattoo of it
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Most absurd GoFundMe campaigns of all time. List includes helping to prove the world is flat, funding a 'spiritual journey' around the world to purchasing an actual human. Oh by the way, subby needs help to study the effects of Fark on your brain
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Guess what? English purists were right; two spaces after a period is correct, and science is on our side. SUCK IT, HEATHENS
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this window with a miew
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: The first time you ate with "the grownups"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Some of the books every grandparent should have on hand. "Go The F*ck To Sleep" notably absent from the list
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
India & China: Welcome to the Sausage Party
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Putin's would-be presidential opponent was arrested during an anti-inauguration protest. In other news, one of Putin's enemies hasn't been gassed by his car, or fallen down an elevator shaft onto multiple bullets, or drank the glowing tea. Yet
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
100 sit-ups and a fine is suitable punishment for A) Graffiti B) Jay walking C) Kidnapping and rape
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
How romantic - a bottle of Chianti, some candles, and a nice tender ROUS
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
There are better ways to pass a drug test than heating up a cup of urine in the microwave at a 7-11
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Climb it control
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 New Orleans)
 
 
 
Angry neighbor makes the classic mistake of bringing a hose sprayer to a gun fight
source: fox8live.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Africa. Home to some of the deadliest predators on Earth. The Lion. The Leopard. The Cheetah. The Giraffe. The Nile Croco....wait, hold up a minute
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(680 News Radio)
 
 
 
How windy was it in Toronto on Friday? Let's ask the passengers from this plane, after they've had time to wash their underwear
source: 680news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 05, 2018
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The show Cold Case Files celebrated how authorities and forensic experts caught a serial killer. Just one tiny problem: the man convicted didn't actually commit the crimes and was later exonerated. Shouldn't the show at least air a retraction?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Things you should not put on pizza: Pineapple. Anchovies. Chocolate
source: groceries.asda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Law Blog)
 
 
 
Romance author is at war with the rest of the romantic literature community in a massive trademark dispute. Fark: the trademark is for the word "cocky"
source: legalinspiration.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you thought the NXIVM story couldn't get any worse, well... you were wrong (warning: describes some really disturbing stuff)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stop
source: s.hdnux.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
If only there were a good guy with a dump truck to stop a bad guy with a gun
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Man forces school bus to stop in middle of road and then it gets weird (with video)
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pooch profile
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Monthly)
 
 
 
Texas beer is the best beer
source: texasmonthly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Crow tries to buy a train ticket with credit card. Even birds get tired of flying
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
80-year-old man puts himself up for adoption
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asbury Park Press)
 
 
 
Jogger finds prehistoric fish that first appeared in the fossil record about 200 million years ago. In other news, people still jog
source: app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Health.com)
 
 
 
"I ate pizza for breakfast every day for a week-because a nutritionist said it was healthier than cereal"
source: health.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(There's No Graphic For Seventeen?)
 
 
 
There are two types of people in the world: those who shower before going to bed, and those who are just plain wrong
source: seventeen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
What a dismal country Canada is becoming, it's getting to the point that beavers are being denied service at their craft beer bars
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Some people just refuse to quack under pressure
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Teen complains after mother cuts her monthly allowance from $5,000 to $1,000. Life is tough in Beverly Hills
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Argentina's economy is spinning out of control, right round, baby, right round like a record, baby, right round round round
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Oh great, now tortilla chips can kill you. And on Cinco de Mayo, no less
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
30 self-driving BMWs are being deployed on the Las Vegas Strip so people can be amazed at the sight of a BMW using its turn signal
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
The flesh feast known as the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition may be coming to an end (possibly NSFW)
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pointing player
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
We are on Orange Alert. Repeat, we are on Orange Alert. Prepare to panic
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
A perfect storm of win - win - win just in time for Caturday
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
It's not normal to find a credit card you think is a gift from God, use it to buy a plane ticket to Fark's favorite state, and then drive to Mar-a-Lago with the intention of smoking a joint with President Trump ... but on meth it is
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Sex robots are not the answer to "incel rage"
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Carrollton police Officer Kip Daily caught interceptions as a defensive back for the Kansas State Wildcats; shows off what he can do to a purse snatcher
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Rooster saved from Santeria priest quickly becomes Florida Bird
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowell Sun)
 
 
 
Mass casualty response triggered and school evacuated after student mentions the b-word during discussion of genetics
source: lowellsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Sex is a key part of life for people over 65. Especially for those who missed out on it in their younger years because they were married
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 04, 2018
(Independent)
 
 
 
He left all his money to a stripper he'd known for a year. His family was not happy (with helpful pic of what a stripper might look like)
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
After 9 days, Florida woman gets giant NOPE out of ear
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
These 2 mice say try the new Burgers and Pizza diet. Still waiting for the Beer Bacon Cheeseburger diet but will try this in a pinch
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Greek warship mixes it up with cargo ship from Turkey in the Aegean Sea, creates new collision salad (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
U.S. Navy re-establishes Second Fleet, plans to resume hunt for Red October
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Drunk/stoned United flight attendant's boarding announcement: 'if your seatbelt isn't tight, you F^*%ed up'". Police at arrival gate tell her her seatbelt isn't tight
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cosplayers
source: scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Good Samaritan takes down fleeing armed suspect with a move Cobra Kai would be proud of
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Armed man storms McDonald's and threatens staff, before leaving with box of Monopoly stickers. Suspect described as short, portly old man with a mustache, wearing a morning suit and top hat
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Inter Lake)
 
 
 
A very Montana news report: "Someone called the Whitefish Police Department with questions about what she can and can't do regarding a horse in town"
source: dailyinterlake.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. we apologize for the further delay, we seem to have a rogue raccoon problem- OW...THAT F*CKER BIT ME - GET THE LASSOS"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
Central casting? Hi, we need a redneck guy caught speeding with a big bag of weed, he's got to be twenty but look 50. Anybody like that? Neck beard if you've got one
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Californians are reminded that May does not have an "R" in it
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Montana Standard)
 
 
 
Moly sprayed everywhere between Butte and Big Hole at Mile 69
source: mtstandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
If you were waiting for your tractor trailer load of fire to arrive, we have some bad news for you. (W/ Pic)
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Place)
 
 
 
Photoshop this enticing bed
source: jansmith.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Today's glue sniffer has a much better mugshot than yesterday's
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Mammoth sinkhole opens in New Zealand. Balrog and Gandalf unavailable for comment
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Bad batch of LSD in Santa Cruz results in four people running around naked, screaming about seeing rainbows at night and flying unicorns. Subby wonders how his kids got to Santa Cruz
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
A 132-pound ovarian tumor is removed. Now with pics
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
PA lawyer arrested for spending time in his lab
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
A quarter of millennials are looking to date someone significantly older than they are
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
He was probably taking it to wax it
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
This 5-pound burrito is free if you can eat it in under half an hour (pics). Difficulty: Canadian burrito
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Oscar Mayer's "Bacoin" cryptocurrency narrowly avoided a protacted legal battle, as we have finally diverged from the stupidest timeline
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
*SPOILERS* Infinity War discussion thread *SPOILERS*
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Caption what this dog is thinking
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marine Corps Times)
 
 
 
War horse statue to be unveiled in Kentucky. Sgt. Reckless may not have been the fastest, but then again Seattle Slew never carried 9,000 lbs of ammunition into battle
source: marinecorpstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Security cameras capture handcuffed man throwing himself off second floor of courthouse. Props to deputy who leaps from behind desk and almost catches him. Almost
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
'I was always hiding my face': Tiny violins play for man who held 10 people hostage for 21 hours
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Mmmmph.... Mmmmph.... Mmmmph.... Apparently this "John-Paul" guy is in a lot of trouble with these Irish blokes
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
Boobies
 
Why you should skip naked gardening day
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inland Valley Daily Bulletin)
 
 
 
The O.C.'s oldest cold case murder closed when stroke-addled perp dies, clucking like a rooster and insisting killer was invisible friend Doug McGath; "You wait 50 years to arrest a guy, you're going to run into the geriatric nature of the defendant"
source: dailybulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Sex addiction is no joke. NO JOKE. 5 times a day, NOT ENOUGH. No joke. Heh (NSFW)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The Butterfly Pavilion in Denver wants you to vote on a name for their new octopus. Subby votes for "Why the Hell Does the Butterfly Pavilion Have an Octopus?"
source: butterflies.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Hey sexy mama. Wanna kill all humans?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop something for this kid to cheer for
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"Shut the f-k up, you f-king loudmouthed monkey motherf-ker." Just another day on the LIRR
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Naval officer hides camera in toilet. That's not how you record the captain's log
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
The CHICKENS all ran for it and got away, but the Manly Males stayed behind to fight
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Cities are creating "safe spaces" for drug addicts to shoot up heroin and inject marijuanas
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today Online)
 
 
 
Good boy waits for owner every day at the train station and man is it dusty in here
source: todayonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Which came first, the driveway or the lamp post?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
After giving every warning possible, Pele arrives in Leilani estates. Mandatory evacuations underway. LGT drone footage of fissure eruption
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Man can't stand to see his wife go so he blows up himself, his barn, his house, and the regional SWAT team
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Loophole allows American companies to pay disabled workers $1
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Underwear clad guy brings bottle of vegetable oil to taser fight
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Plumber uses torch for repairs. Whatever could possibly go $300,000 worth of wrong?
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Muslims unhappy with France's proposed change to the Qu'ran
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 03, 2018
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Man punches 80-year-old crossing guard before pinching the female deputy who arrested him (with all-ears mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Online)
 
 
 
Flying squirrel left in hot car. Moose inconsolable
source: heraldonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Two guys, who GPS hates, get lost in Yellowstone
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Identity thief accidentally ships phones to victim's home, then tries to pick them up himself
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Man rides bike into path of train. Again
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
If the cops show up you might as well finish huffing the can in front of them, it's going to be a while until you get the chance again
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: You are what you eat
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1190 KEX Portland)
 
 
 
Good news everyone: consumption of afterbirth and placenta isn't just for hippies and sneaky dogs anymore
source: 1190kex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Congratulations, you are the proud parent of a 132-pound ovarian cyst
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Protip: Don't take selfies with bears (disturbing video)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Customer accidentally tips her pin number and ends up paying over $7,000 for her lunch. Unfortunately for her, all sales are final
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Twitter urges all 336 million users to change their passwords, as Twitter was compromised by being full of the worst that humanity has to offer. Sorry, it was a bug, compromised by a bug
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: No one masters cooking without mistakes along the way. From over-salting to sauces breaking and more.. how have you fixed your failures?
source: onegreenplanet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Recordnet)
 
 
 
Robber who looks like Joel McHale hit with a shovel arrested next to Stockton Police headquarters for punching 84-year old woman in the face
source: recordnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSMV Nashville)
 
NewsFlash
 
Active Second Amendment celebration reported at a Nashville mall. Casualties reported. Clocks reset
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pam Anderson says in 2005 Donald Trump paid her $500 to be at his birthday party. In other news, in 2005, Pam Anderson would have come to your birthday party for $500
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
What kind of moran spends $1 million to live next to a former nuclear-testing site without testing the site to see if it may still be radioactive? Apparently people in the expensive San Francisco real estate market
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this shipwreck
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
That's some fine police work, Lou. No, actually it IS some fine police work
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Hospital: "So, you got an ice pack and a bandage. That's $5,751. Are you paying cash or with a check?"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Art Newspaper)
 
 
 
Top Italian museum director and Steven Tyler impersonator faces trial over gym visits
source: theartnewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man sets Guinness record for tallest hat. Does it really matter that he doesn't exist?
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chinese military shooting lasers out of Djibouti, giving US pilots browned eye
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
If you bought some raw ground beef recently and found blue, hard plastic pieces in it, you might not want to put that on the grill. Just sayin'
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
"What are you in for?" "Robbing an art museum. They call me the Picasso Prowler. You?" "I robbed a jewelry store. I'm the Diamond Desperado. You?" "I knocked over a Girl Scout Cookie stand." *Beat* "I'm the Thin Mint Thug"
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Zodiac Killer DNA sent to lab to testing. Somewhere, Ted Cruz is eating his boogers nervously
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
The NJ High mystery pooper is no longer a mystery. In related news, Kenilworth school Superintendent Thomas Tramaglini seen looking at the help-wanted ads
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Sometimes when you're out cruising drunk in your BMW, you really crave some waffles
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
'Bulletproof backpacks' put to the test, sadly not by having the Mythbusters fill them with C4
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Nose-picking masturbator nabbed months after terrorizing NYC subway riders in separate attacks
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Millennials destroyed everything in the Middle Ages, too
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Look, just because somebody said we came out of the bathroom with full canisters of water doesn't mean we actually used toilet water for our tea. Oh, there's video?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Topeka Capital-Journal)
 
 
 
Newton, KS police: "We were called to the 1200 block of East Broadway to a report of a naked male underneath a car. He was attempting to stick his penis into the tailpipe of the vehicle"
source: cjonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Conspiracy nuts want to ban fluoride in city water. And by nuts we mean mayors, by water we mean air, and by fluoride we mean the industrial kind that melts your corneas
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
First they took away the right to bang prostitutes while "investigating" them, and now it's going to be illegal to hook up with handcuffed prisoners. It's getting so there's no reason to be a cop any more
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Police release bodycam footage of officers entering Vegas mass shooter Stephen Paddock's hotel room and discovering... a vibrator? Really?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
China has no clue why everyone is overreacting to a teenager wearing a dress
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
The Indiana police would like the public to return the cash from a truck that spilled thousands of dollars onto the highway
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Package delivered on time, driver stole my dog. one star, would not buy again
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Gathering of Jewish faithful decides to protest the "evils of smartphones" by throwing their phones onto a bonfire, and apparently no one remembered the batteries have a tendency to explode under heat
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this protective item
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A Blockbuster store in Alaska is trying to increase sales by displaying Russell Crowe's jockstrap
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(3AW News (Australia))
 
 
 
Man parks expensive bicycle inside thrift shop while going shopping. What could go wrong?
source: 3aw.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
C-130 that crashed in Georgia yesterday was taking off on its last flight before retiring to the boneyard
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Controlled burn burns out of control
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Step 1: Get out of car slowly with your hands up. Step 2: Walk slowly towards officer and get down on the ground. Step 3: Pray officer doesn't accidentally shoot you
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Someone actually found cheap parking in Toronto
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
@ ©
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Not news: Author decides to try her hand at professional poker to research a book on the subject. Fark: The book has been delayed a year because she got too good at poker
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Spirits Business)
 
 
 
Jack Daniels suing a competitor's "inferior" whiskey for trademark infringement. How it could possibly be inferior to Jack Daniels is unclear. Perhaps the skunk that pissed on the dead hobo hadn't finished its course of antibiotics?
source: thespiritsbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoundCloud)
 
 
 
The latest Revival League radio play has dropped: "Do Rabbots Dream Of Electric Cheepz -Pt 1", an Easter themed spoof of Cyberpunk & Watership Down featuring Tim Blaney, Frank Dietz, Jackey Neyman Jones, Carolina Hidalgo, and a couple of Farkettes
source: soundcloud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 678: "Look Up in the Sky". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Scottish woman has rare disorder that causes her to vomit up to 30 times a day. Doctor advises her to just stop ordering the haggis
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 02, 2018
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
A series of earthquakes under Kilauea volcano indicate a new eruption is possible. Peter and Bobby apologize and promise to return the Tiki
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
GOP Senate candidate: Military experience is inherently conservative and veterans who vote Democrat have issues with "cognitive thought processes"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Who throws a shoe, honestly? The future President of Iraq, that's who
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
Boobies
 
Founding member of Dykes on Bikes dies at the age of 69, is it too soon to make obvious joke?
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fabulous llama
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Bus driver finally faces felony charge for not stopping for a dozen police cars. Daniel Mengestu saw the police cars following him, but didn't stop because he "believed it was a training exercise." Apparently the spike strips weren't a hint either
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Chipotle to offer free burritos, E. coli to teachers on May 8th
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Tampa man vandalized cars that reminded him of college bullies. Apparently he went to school with Bob Porsche and Fred Mercedes
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
In rare moment of sagacity, Florida Man uses Jet Ski to put out boat fire
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAV Savanna)
 
 
 
"Are you an organ donor? Nearly 115,000 people waiting for transplants." I'm not sure, but it seems article author wants you to hurry up and die already
source: wsav.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Go on a day trip to Mt. Washington? Cool. Decide to stay in a hotel instead of driving back to Cambridge? Smart. Don't make sure that the wife knows about your change in plans? That's one expensive day trip
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Florida paper runs gun show ad below stories of mass shootings. In their defense, those ARE related
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
This just in: If you're sitting in a commercial aircraft and the window next to you has a handle underneath it, pushing down on the handle will not roll down the window
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tractor plowing a field
source: ichef-1.bbci.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Man finds out he's paying Ohio river bridge's electric bill. Duke sucks
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bozeman Daily Chronicle)
 
 
 
In this year's season opener, it's Yellowstone bison 1, clueless tourists 0
source: bozemandailychronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAV Savanna)
 
 
 
"Invasive fist-sized treefrogs in New Orleans." Well, so much for the hamster bubble
source: wsav.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Dennis Rodman, Nobel Peace Prize winner
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hello, yes, excuse me. What aisle is bamboo on?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
After being arrested for being black at Starbucks, two men settle with the city of Philadelphia for $1 and a $200,000 pledge for young entrepreneurs
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Man attacks two roommates with sword for stealing his sock, which makes sense since gnomes only take underwear
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Scouty McScoutface of America is changing its name to something more inclusive
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The city of Houston started an adopt-a-drain program. Adopt a drain and name it anything you want. What could go wrong?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAV Savanna)
 
 
 
Military aircraft crashes near Savannah airport
source: wsav.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
New at IKEA: three-piece suits that come with an allen key and a set of instructions to build yourself
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Mom asks Amazon Prime for garden ideas for a children's party, and after typing "outside toys," gets recommended a massive dildo (with helpful not safe for work pic of said dildo)
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Nobody expects the bone of St. Clement. Especially in the refuse bin
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Flat-earthers now say ships sailing off the edge of the world don't fall off but get Pac-Man'ed to the other side of the world. Gravity still sucks
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Girl who stabbed her lover five times during sex while wearing clown make-up is jailed. Remember, never stick your dick in crazy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Tory candidate who doesn't understand how bacon works posts photo of a piece of bacon on door handle "to protect your house from terrorism"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
If your smoke alarm goes off, you can get rid of the smoke, turn it off, or take out the batteries in order to stop the noise. Then there's this guy
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rest stop
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Blind dog and his guide dog who are BFF, and were separated after adoption are reunited and need a home again. It's your Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Cheerleader's dad is deployed and can't see her off to a national competition, so he shows up via video, with his whole unit doing a cheer routine
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Brooklyn jail guard hoisted on his own enormous, hook-shaped, easily identifiable petard
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Apparently you are not allowed to splash water at manatees getting busy
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
At Japan Universal Studios, Flying Dinosaur riders get to hang upside down for two hours while they fix the ride. What could be more fun?
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Lion tries to open a can of tourist bites
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman who never smiled or saw a dog has been memorialized in L.A. park
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Two months from today Massachusetts residents will no longer live in a state that bans recreational marijuana. Instead they will live in a city that bans recreational marijuana
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Oklahoma City police: "And for those asking no, our investigation did not reveal why the chicken crossed the road. We tried to interview the chicken, but she lawyered up"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
"Biohacker" CEO found dead in altered state
source: news.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
Video
 
Party Tip For Alexa Owner's Home: Simply ask: "Alexa, what's 10 to the power of 308?"
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 01, 2018
(SFGate)
 
 
 
$50,000 of stolen Legos found in Portland man's home. Officers plan to keep both sets back at the station as "evidence"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Florida congressman gets a proper Florida welcome from a group of sixth-graders. One finger salute involved of course
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Judge leaps in and stops attack on lawyer in court, prompting speculation on whether he's secretly a super hero or a super villain
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: It's that time again
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cymbalic practice
source: wjdrums.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
BBC investigation finds YouTube "stars" being paid to promote exam cheating service. YouTube responds by saying they will teach creators that dishonest behavior is bad. In related news, YouTube announced it will close today
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Barcelona beaches invaded by swarms of strange blue sea creatures. In related news, strange French man in long robes with a butterfly net and his pet cat spotted in the vicinity
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
San Francisco's BART system introduces new strategy to keep elevators from stinking after PLEASE FLUSH BEFORE EXITING signs fail to make a difference
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
New scan of Indian Ocean floor finds no sign of MH370, Clinton's e-mails
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
If your wallet is filled with toxic waste and/or chemical weapons, police and seven hospitalized store employees would really like to talk to you
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Bad: Arranging to meet a teen girl at a hotel. Worse: Showing up in your work vehicle. Fark: Showing up in your police cruiser
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vermont Public Radio)
 
 
 
Three towns in Vermont are responsible for a quarter of all speeding tickets in the state -- including the one town that happily enforces a 25 mph school zone limit near a school that closed three years ago
source: digital.vpr.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Ramps for ducklings are back at the reflecting pool at the U.S. Capitol, since it's a popular hook up spot, for ducks that is. Also after the big ducks make little ducks, it helps the babbys avoid starvation, hypothermia or drowning. M. R. Ducks
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man at Iranian soccer game: "Are there any women here today?" High-pitched voices in crowd: "No-no-no...(suddenly voices deepen)...NO-NO-NO"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
Rick Romero reporting: A U.S.-China war won't look like the American airstrikes on Syria
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bulgarian)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Festival of Roses
source: passattour.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Having realized that Jesus was crucified in a loin cloth, school backtracks on plan for "modesty ponchos" at the prom
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Facebook to unveil new dating feature, which will definitely not leak data on what you have open right now in incognito tabs
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Meth-head breaks into governor's mansion to alert him about "wild animals, possibly lions or cougars" on the streets. Surprisingly not a member of the species Homo floridus
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
I wish the kids would go back to sucking condoms up their noses or eating Tide Pods. Paintball attacks increase across the nation due to dumb challenge by crappy rapper
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The struggles of modern dating - orbiting is worse than ghosting. In my day we just faked our own deaths
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Man describes self as a minister with doctorate degrees, a police officer, boat captain, a social activist, an administrator, a professor and a politician. He must have been convincing as they let him out of jail to work at his "cop job"
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Catholic school will give "Modesty Ponchos" to girls at prom deemed too slutty
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Putting on your robe and wizard hat, bad house elves, and J.A.I.L.-O.: these are your Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-04-22 to Sat 2018-04-28
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Toronto's all methed up
source: canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
26-story building on fire collapses in on itself after just 90 minutes as the heat melts the steel infrastructure. Sounds familiar
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Milwaukee currently hiring for streetcar operators. Must supply own body armor
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Rifle-armed robbers hit Cocoa Burger King. Apparently, they were cuckoo for cocoa burgers
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you've ever dreamed of buying a 12,637 sq ft, 7th century Benedictine monastery owned by crazy nudists, today is your lucky day (NSFW)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
In a throwback to the dirty thirties, National Weather Service issued rare dirt storm warning yesterday in Nebraska
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
So how do you dissuade loiterers? Why not go to classical music to ward them off?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Man fails to heed "Never mind the dog, beware of owner" sign, ends up shot by retired officer who lives there
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Do you drink alcohol? You're gonna die. In fact, you may be dead already. Hey, how are you reading this? Get out of here, zombie
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Next Web)
 
 
 
Telegram is now banned in Iran, no word on camels and buggies
source: thenextweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rolling robot
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
So, this motorcyclist rides into a bar
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NYT Metro Editor resigns and apologizes for his 'mistakes' which in the real world are crimes. I'm sure he'll work on outside projects and spend more time with his family
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Lighten up, Francis
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Listverse)
 
 
 
N.E.S.T.L.E.S. is the very best. Or maybe not
source: listverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"Man, this place has everything." "The hidden wall corpses are in early this year"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Nazi cash... FROM THE FUUUUUTURE (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(THV 11)
 
 
 
Arkansas man who claims to hunt Bigfoot for government charged with child porn which everyone knows is classic Bigfoot bait
source: thv11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
100 years ago, two shipwrecks during the Great War resulted in a small Scottish island that buried the dead soldiers who washed ashore. The noble actions of those islanders will be remembered next week in a ceremony
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 30, 2018
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Bad idea Jeans: Nothing is gonna happen if I swallow these two bags of white powder during a traffic stop, right?
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLTV New Orleans)
 
 
 
As humans continue to destroy the world's reefs, the coral has now begun to fight back
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mourner
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight's Paul's Memory Bank brings you 2 hours of songs dealing with the seasons. Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall....or Winter...then Spring....then Summer....then Fall. Show starts at 8PM EDT
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Who goes first? Driver uses rock-paper-scissors game to settle friendly dispute in Houston's traffic
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Rarely seen cancer discovered in eyes of several former Auburn students
source: beta.nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Taekwondo pioneer Jhoon Rhee dies. If you lived in the D.C. area in the 80s, that jingle is now in your head
source: somerset-kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
"Who huffs computer cleaner while driving a car? On the interstate highway in the middle of the afternoon?"
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Penn State Health tells 2100 patients with multiple sclerosis, "you don't have to go die in a ditch, but you can't stay here," then realizes that might look harsh
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Antihero: Man scales fence capped with razor wire to escape life sentence. Dumbass: Man scales fence capped with razor wire to escape four-day sentence
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Standard Digital (Kenya))
 
 
 
Mozambique to circumcise 100,000 men, recommends you turn down offers of cheap calamari for the foreseeable future
source: standardmedia.co.ke   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Sometimes all it takes is a teen, cotton balls, and a lighter to ruin Walmart for everyone
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rabbit
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Finally, an equestrian sport that Fark can get behind: Whoever spills the least beer, wins
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Couple says screw it, dumps jobs, starts Alpaca farm
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
China's latest weapon in the fight against jaywalkers: automated squirt guns that soak anyone who walks on the red
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Ypsilanti sees record cases of gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia. Subby has record case of carpal tunnel from typing that
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mystery of the Missing White House tree solved: The tree was moved to quarantine, "like other plants or animals brought into U.S. territory." Translation: someone fished it out of the dumpster
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman in short-shorts distracts security guard in burglary. Dodge Charger later jumps over ravine as Dixie horn plays
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
You have a baby. In a bar. Man: No I don't, she is safe and sound in the car with the windows rolled up so no one can get her
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Daily Fail lives up to its name by suggesting that the reasonable response to a broken engagement is to become the Golden State Killer
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
How to get rid of sex-mad slugs in the garden? Get them drunk on beer
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Fifty years ago, a piano was dropped from a helicopter near Seattle. "There were a number of Newton's laws that the pilot neglected to consider"
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Don't freak out or anything but Bill Gates thinks 30 million people could die in six months in a flu pandemic if we don't get our shiat together, and fast
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
For some, it was a moment of liberation from the repressive hypocrisy of the war generation. But for opponents it marked the dissolution of family, school and nation. A look at the May 1968 protests in Paris 50 years on
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
China, known for exporting opiates, says its main drug problem is Canadian weed. "Well, that's just like, your opinion, man"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fetching doggo
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
It's not every day that you see a bird carrying a shark which is carrying a fish
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Britain held a Flat Earth conference, and its attendees were told turtles didn't exist and gravity is a lie
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
On the one hand, poisoning people is pretty evil. On the other, it's the CEO of BP, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
There is drunk driving, and then there is driving 100MPH then using a broken wire fence and posts you caught on your pickup truck to troll for troopers in a field drunk driving
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Asinine: HOA rep sends letter demanding woman take down her rainbow flag. Surprise: Person who sent letter isn't part of HOA. Spiffy: Neighborhood now filled with rainbow flags
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Popular Upstate NY cave offers nudist tour by lantern light. In case I can't make it, please give your mom my spelunk
source: newyorkupstate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Hide and Seek champ ends his twelve year reign
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Well there it is, the stupidest thing you will read all day
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State)
 
 
 
An old man jealous of college kids and their youth embarks on a crusade to close South Carolina bars. All of them
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"OFF WITH YOUR HEADS" - Marian Antoinette
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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