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Sun April 22, 2018
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this painted person
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Waffle House gunman was stopped by an unarmed bystander. NRA furrows brow, mutters "this wasn't in the script"
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
The Sun is here ... and will have you laughing until you're red with these sunburn fails
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
English couple decides to give up farming and let their 3,500 acres go wild. Nearly 10 years later, the results are awesome
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy kid
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The Food Ingredient Panic Meter tells you how freaked out you should be about your favorite ingredient going extinct. Avocado: meh. Maple syrup: eh. Chocolate. snore. Vanilla: whoa. Eel: ieeee. Wait, your favorite ingredient is eel? ieeee
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Q: What's the deal with airline food? A: $500
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Alex Jones has an apprentice who is about to steal his crown and lead the Kingdom of Derplandia
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"So, even though it sounds strange, porn improved my relationship with my daughter in ways I couldn't have imagined"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Judge who was filmed berating a wheelchair-bound asthmatic defendant who died three days later after having had difficulty getting medication behind bars has decided to resign
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Naturopaths say it's ridiculous that the government, courts, and medical board won't let them perform surgery and prescribe drugs just because they aren't real doctors
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
School bus driver "reassigned" after leading students in prayer. Fark: For the second time
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
There, that should solve everything, right? We're all good now, right? Look, I'm just the Sheriff, it's not like I have to power to arrest and charge him with murder or anything. I mean, let's not be hasty here
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
If your Twitter feed got swamped last night with breathless reports of a "possible coup" underway in Saudi Arabia, you can relax now .. turns out it was just the King's bodyguards using a recreational drone as target practice
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Penn State turns nanny state up to 11
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Honolulu Star Advertiser)
 
 
 
Maybe you should just stay indoors from now on
source: staradvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this 1960s dance
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: When in Rome
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Gunman kills three in Tennessee Waffle House before fleeing. Police describe the suspect as white male with short hair. He was last seen naked
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
That's one way to get in-flight coffee
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
The latest invader species to take hold in the US? Swarming Asian ticks. Enjoy your summer
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Have you heard the good news? The Jehovah's Witnesses knocking at your door may have measles
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In Amish country, woman in buggy killed by man in SUV in a demonstration of the modern world versus days gone by. Next up, tractor runs over guy with lawnmower
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Woman charged with leaving kids home alone while she danced on top of bar at Applebees
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
There's a job opening for World's Oldest Person (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wilkes-Barre Times Leader)
 
 
 
Man arrested for patronizing a prostitute tells police he's self-employed. After being reminded that he's currently the mayor of the neighboring town, he replies "for now"
source: timesleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
The fact that he was a large man in overalls made the subway assailant stand out, but the "MAGA" hat and shirt sort of iced the cake
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Our Woofday Wetnose Waggin' Wednesday weekly thread needs its own tag
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
I don't recall the walk to the hotel being this long and arduous
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Here's the torture we overlooked, and the overlooking we overlooked. Well no, you can't read the part about the torture, but the overlooking was totally legit as you can see
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 21, 2018
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Goodest boy ever keeps his 3-year-old human safe all night when she gets lost. Meanwhile, Subby's shih tzu barked all night, then raided the bin and peed on the carpet
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Attn. NYC passengers: Please don't bother the tour bus driver while the vehicle is in motion. He's trying to watch TV
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
12-year-old has fight with parents, gets revenge by stealing mom's credit card and heading off to Bali for four days of R&R
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this origami holder
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Overwhelmed Brooklyn postman hoarded 17,000 letters and parcels spanning 15 years. He may have been able to handle snow, rain, heat, and gloom of night but the ads and free samples were too much to expect anyone to face
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Land Titanic attendance numbers are sinking fast
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chikasha News)
 
 
 
Oklahoma pill jockey steals 20,000 pills. At 30 pills an hour, it would've taken him nearly 4 weeks to count all of them
source: chickashanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
If you're going to put a fake parking ticket on your car window so police won't give you a real one it's probably best to check that you don't park next to an unmarked police car ... with its dash camera turned on
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Nazis turn out in Newnan, Georgia to demonstrate their power and might. All 12 of them apparently
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Not news: man sentenced to 50 years for theft. This is an outrage: for fajitas. What the holy loving fark: $1.2 million worth of fajitas
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Mellow Drama)
 
 
 
Photoshop this coated character
source: img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Greyhound bus that was supposed to go to New York ends up in Toledo. Everybody on the bus just laughs and laughs
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Well honestly, it's not the worst way to have a heart attack
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
Ducks caught speeding by Swiss speed cameras, manage to avoid hefty bill
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
"Homeschooling education freedoms must be protected," say advocates of keeping children at home and forcing them to follow biased curricula while limiting their social skills
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Everybody prepare to panic
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
H-1B engineers: "Thanks, but no thanks. We'll take Canada instead. They're much more polite"
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Strange question: What food do you serve at a funeral? Turns out, a lot of thought goes into it
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
Sure, blame the humans. It's always their fault for why we can't live in peace and harmony in a scooter-filled urban paradise
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Ever wondered what eating in a restaurant was like 50 years ago?
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this shark
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome to the first ever crossover Caturday/Woofday thread. Let's help the puppy people design a new Fark Tag for Woofday Wednesday, 'cause we're all helpful like that on Caturday. Link goes to Woofday Wetnose Wednesday Photoshop contest page
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Imagine if Fark//Tried this approach to the news//Making it Haiku
source: poets.media   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Hey Oscars Lady, I'll see your three billboards and raise you ten
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
As the Queen turns 92, here are some epic photos from the Queen as a kid until present, telling her life story
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Driving (Canada))
 
Video
 
Old and busted: A beaver in your backyard. New coolness: A moose in your garage licking the salt off your truck
source: driving.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Berkeley high school teacher suspended for bringing an empty tube to class
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Scissors assault ended when police show up with rock
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 20, 2018
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
We're going to have to ask you to go ahead and throw out ALL your romaine lettuce, so if you could just do that, that'd be great, yeah
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Manassas battlefield burned to restore it to its former glory
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowell Sun)
 
 
 
MassDOT mapped every roadkill incident since 2010. Dinner is served
source: lowellsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
How accurate is Chicago's gang database? It includes two people that are 132 years old and someone who once ran with the now-defunct Thorndale Jagoffs crew
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Michigan couple with no daughters welcomes their 14th son. They've passed having a basketball, baseball and football team so apparently they're now waiting for number 15 for hurling
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
We're sorry you almost got sucked out the window
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
The Toronto Transit Commission has issued a warning against accordion players playing the song Despacito. Despacito. Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito Deja que te diga ... DAMMIT. BAN THEM NOW
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Best Korea to stop bombing the ocean
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Charges dropped against CNBC TV crew accused of smuggling fake bomb through Newark airport security because it wasn't a fake bomb and they weren't smuggling it
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Man steals ambulance from hospital, flips it over, ends up as patient in hospital. It's the circle of derp
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fire
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Someone decided to have a controlled burn by Interstate 75 right before Friday morning rush hour. There's no way that could backfire
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Office Owls are watching you procrastinate
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
Oregon whale license plates are going into production, though it's not clear what a whale needs a license plate for - even in Oregon
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
Three-legged dog named Tripod abandoned on cliff by two-fisted drinker named Defendant
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN once again continues to ask the tough questions - Why does smoking pot give you the munchies?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
Having solved all other crime, police arrest local meteorologist for stealing spring. Spring, if recovered will be inventoried and returned to its rightful owners
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Air Force Times)
 
 
 
Sure, we've all done dumb things when we're drunk, but most of us haven't stolen a C-130 transport and attempted to fly across the Atlantic for a booty call
source: airforcetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
It's 4/20. And cops across America have jokes about it
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Pregnant woman goes into labor during tornado on Friday the 13th. Jason, Dorothy not on the list of names
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop these glowing orb lamps
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPEL 96.5 Lafayette)
 
 
 
Naked woman found eating cheetos in half filled tub. Or as submitter calls it, foreplay
source: kpel965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
St. Louis welcomes new bike-share program with unbridled enthusiasm. Just kidding, some of their GPS-equipped bicycles are being detected at the bottom of the Mississippi River
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
71-year-old Florida county commissioner faces multiple charges after authorities say he paid a married couple living with him to be able to have sex with the wife, and the story only gets more Florida from there
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Submarine believed to have transported Nazi leaders to South America after WWII found. 129-year-old Argentinian National known only as 'Adolf H.' unavailable for comment
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Oregon has ended up with way more pot than it can smoke - to the tune of one million pounds
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
NewsFlash
 
Avicii /ft Choir of Angels
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Got a thing for dusting? Then, this toy soldier collection is for you. Over 250,000 toy soldiers in this massive, but tiny deployment. Add it to your house-sized train set and you'll have a whole lot of fun
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
'Humpty' the tortoise recovering after vet fixes broken shell, now slowing leading toward Burger King bathroom
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Former 9-1-1 operator who hung up on callers "thousands of times" will serve 10 days in jail before starting in her new role as a Comcast customer support manager
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Homeless man steals beer truck, wears awesome shorts
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Check out my foxy badger which is not a euphemism
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Florida students walk out to protest school shootings. Since this is Florida, you can probably guess what happens next
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Logic files for divorce. Tired of not being used these days
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Canadian chocolate company goes viral in Scotland after encouraging customers to 'Eat shiat'
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Not just one apocalypse but a double whammy of apocalypses will end the world on both April 23 and June 24. Enjoy your final days
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"Regional district seeks whereabouts of 'very patient-looking beaver' loved by kids." (Justin) Beaver trifecta complete
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Starbucks: We need some good news, anyone have any ide....OH GOD
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this majestic doggo
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Some very fine people are heading to a small German town to celebrate Hitler's birthday
source: news.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Trump won't attend Barbara Bush funeral, to "avoid disruptions" like having her climb out of the coffin to smack him upside the head
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
"Hey, if you could send us back all that secret research on remote mind controlling we accidentally sent you under that FOIA request, and forget it we would appreciate it.." Department of Mind Control
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Man accused of posing as a teenage boy to meet a girl for sex. Bonus: "Yeah, looks legit all right" photo goodness included in article
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPAX Missoula)
 
 
 
One breath/long headline challenge: 3 police officers disciplined for having sex on city property with a police clerk who was fired for stealing narcotics from the evidence locker which will result in dozens of criminal cases being dismissed. *gasp*
source: kpax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Anti-semite DC council member visits Holocaust museum. Ditches halfway though the guided tour. Afterwards one of his aides asked if the Warsaw Ghetto was like a gated community. This ignorance makes me sad
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Looks like Prince Tampon will finally have his day in the sun
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
RCMP arrest BC beaver in one of the most Canadian stories you'll read today
source: vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
If you drink Starbucks, you're just an American hating Liberal, just like Hillary
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Man shot by LAPD identified as the Shaggy Bandit. Let's take off his mask to see who he really is
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Chatham HOA votes to kill the beaver. Wally looks nervous
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
Highway travelers get a little tired of completely Farked-up driver sharing their space, and work together to solve the problem Alaska-style (with video)
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
School students asked to list the "positive aspects" of slavery
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'Thish, hic, ish your, hic, pilot, hic, shpeaking'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
A restaurant is looking for the man who publicly declared his intentions to 'marry' its mango chicken curry. Maybe he just crossed the road
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 19, 2018
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Give a humiliating haircut, off to jail you go
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Alabama set to execute 83-year-old murderer before nature takes its course
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Chinese traffic police have been letting people who commit minor moving violations off the hook if they confess on social media-and their post gets 20 or more likes. *click*
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Document Cloud)
 
 
 
Here are the Comey memos, for your reading pleasure
source: documentcloud.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Dozens of Muskoka chairs reported toppled over as 3.6 quake hits Ontario's wine and cottage country
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
AP has the Comey memos
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gars)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beach observer
source: christianjequel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Wild ass is saved for posteriorty
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Esquire)
 
 
 
Will Smith recalls the only time - thanks to Suge Knight - he was trapped in the closet with Michael Jackson, and all the King of Pop wanted to do was barter with him for the 1st Silver Age appearance of the Sub-Mariner. And none of that is a euphemism
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
One third of the Great Barrier Reef was killed by the 2016 heatwave, but on the bright side it was bleached so white that it can wait all day at Starbucks and not be harassed by anyone
source: amp.smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Teen takes mother to prom after she missed her own prom because she was pregnant. It's Texas, so the cycle probably continued
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Nothing says Sweden like meatballs and hand grenades
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Sometimes a lady just wants to get away from it all and trip balls
source: foto.gettyimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Star Phoenix)
 
 
 
Honey can you run to the store and pick up some milk, bread, eggs and a crack pipe?
source: thestarphoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Study links traumatic brain injury to dementia, so if you want to avoid Alzheimer's, you should stop reading the politics tab and smacking your head in disbelief
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pusher
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
King of Swaziland brings his country into the 21st century by renaming it eSwatini. iPalau and Dotcomoros expected to follow suit
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
If you feel something moving around in your ear, you may want to have someone look at it. An armed takeover of an ultrasound school is probably not the best way to achieve that, however
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Extremely rare Ganges river shark not seen in a decade is finally discovered. In a fish market (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Russia accidentally hacks Russia
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
What's better than roses on the piano? Tulips on the corn dog. Surprisingly not a euphemism
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Lean Cuisine debuts DNA-based meal plan named 'Nutria'. Large, orange-toothed rodents unavailable for comment
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Man arrested for setting fire to Corvette because its owner might have been gay. Suspect spotted while driving Dodge Neon going "Beep Beep Hiiiii"
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
25% of Americans can't make it to 9 AM without cursing. Apparently the rest are telecommuters
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
ATF issues a warning to all stagecoaches, old-timey banks, and roadrunners in Pennsylvania as someone stole about 700lbs of dynamite from a construction site near Lancaster
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
If you are the one who's been spray-painting tortoises, the Florida Wildlife Commission would like a word
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Scottish castle reopens after "very angry badger" leaves
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
That explosive Southwest Airlines engine is in use on over 8000 Boeing 737s. Can we please be allowed to bring our own booze on board now?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Queen Elizabeth says her 'sincere wish' is for Prince Charles to be head of Commonwealth. Says nothing about wanting to die anytime soon to, you know, actually make that happen
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Take a break from all the celebrity deaths this past week and relax with the Fark Weekly Weird News Quiz, April 8-14 No Dead Celebrity Questions Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you come home to find a naked intruder in your bathtub eating your Cheetos?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
Today is Tax Freedom Day: earlier in LA, TN, AL & OK, later in NY, NJ, CT & IL
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
New artist takes over the 85-year-old "Nancy" comic strip. Fans are outraged because it's actually funny
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The Movie Theater in Saudi Arabia opens with a movie about a wise and benevolent monarch who rules a fabulously wealthy kingdom that owes its power and success to its near monopoly on a precious natural resource
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Tough times in Canada: the courts have decided to lock up all the booze
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Miguel Diaz-Canal replaces Raul Castro as Cuba's president, finally achieving what sixty years of CIA assassination attempts could not
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Syracuse fraternity is suspended for offending everybody
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Norway is telling their high school students to refrain from doing things like sex on roundabouts among others
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Driver finds car covered in baked beans after she left it "blocking a gate"
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Taking an oath of office using a dinosaur hand puppet is pretty funny, but not very smart. Especially if you're in the military
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Italy: Your child has no father? Then your child is not real
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Threat levels raised from "What's all this then?" to "Cor blimey" as UK temperatures threaten to rise to a scorching 82°F, caused by unknown yellow ball in the sky
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this radish
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Seriously, who steals a tree?
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Whatever happened to that Harriet Tubman $20 bill?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYPD Sex Trafficking Tip Hotline has been providing the wrong phone number in all ads and media for 2 years. FARK: No one noticed until a reporter called the number
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
Boobies
 
Breastfeeding now allowed on the Senate floor, continuing our downward spiral towards the nanny state
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Winning today's battle of unusual weapons, woman wields crossbow to shoot man armed with machete
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
When we figure out how far Earth is from those things in the sky, we'll let you know
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Honolulu Star Advertiser)
 
 
 
Beautiful Hawaii: Come for the beaches, stay for the knife-wielding monk seals
source: staradvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Just a tip, but if you plan on robbing a Gamestop and wearing a mask to conceal your identity, you may want to choose one not made out of a clear white plastic
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Apparently goats follow instructions better than teenagers, deer or rabbits. At least in this one area of work
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Stupid: taking a dog's ball. You're gonna get arrested: taking a K-9's ball
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Bad plumbing in curry joints turns UK town's rivers yellow. Officials having naan of it
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
At the UN's "most important meeting on women's empowerment," Trump administration officials tried to steer policy toward teaching women abstinence and sexual "refusal skills" except when they're Playboy models or porn stars and the men are wealthy
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Eight-year-old arrested after bringing gun to school. Don't worry, NRA members, the gun was unharmed
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
911: What's the nature of your emergency. Caller: Help, there's a possum in my bedroom
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Cause of death revealed for Southwest passenger. It wasn't the fish
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Elon Musk decides to step in where the US government won't, and provide Puerto Rico with batteries to power itself until the power can be turned back on
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
Hawaii lawmakers have proposed a $100 million emergency aid package for the storm-damaged island of Kauai. Puerto Rico wants to move to Hawaii
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 676: "The Upside Down". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 18, 2018
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
I'm not saying Iceland is laid back, but when someone can steal 600 computers, escape prison through a window, and sneak onto the prime minister's plane with a fake ticket, Iceland might be pretty laid back
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Apparently Google gives great advice on how to rob banks, but neglects to mention you should clear your search history afterwards
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
WSDOT apologizes for "U SUCK" message on I-5 info board, says it's a training error and doesn't reflect their opinion of Seattle motorists. *probably
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
I'll keep raking along... Deep in my yard is a throng... There on the range they belong... Getting covered with the tumbling tumbleweeds
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Too much green tea may be harmful to your health. That's it, I'm going back to bourbon then
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop dinner
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Hello police? I'd like to report a suspicious individual. He's tied up and gagged, that looks pretty suspicious to me
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
And you get your free coffee right after Bill Gates ponies up that free trip to Disneyland you got in 1998 for forwarding an email
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
"Dispatch, I'm on the scene now and I can see where the vehicle hit the house. There is some damage, but it looks pretty minor. *KA-BOOM!* .... Uh, let me rephrase that." (w/ video)
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Florida man fined $120 million for calling 97 million of his best friends, usually right as they were setting down to eat dinner
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bassist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bass guitar
source: images.reverb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Headless goat found near topless bar
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
It may soon be illegal to eat your pet dog or cat in the U.S.
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Woman claims Southwest Airlines lost her mother's prosthetic foot; airline is probably telling her they have bigger fish to fry right now
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Digger blamed for Puerto Rico blackout. Sallah scowling in disapproval
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Who steals a butterfly?
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Naked man dances in street after causing five-vehicle smashup because he's all fine in Westland, Michigan
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Customer goes bananas after supermarket charges £930.11 for just one
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Delta flight to Florida blows tire. Hey, we all have our kinks
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The entire island of Puerto Rico is under a blackout that is expected to last for at least 24-36 hours, before power can be restored. 75% of the island still unable to tell any difference
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Pharma Bro loses bid to be housed in a minimum security prison and instead gets to play with the big boys
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
New Jersey governor declares April 14 'Bon Jovi Day'. Band to immediately write new song called "What exit"?
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Protip: If you soak your clothes in gasoline to get tar off of them, don't take them to the laundromat. If you do, maybe try the gentle cycle?
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Teenager who sold virginity for £2 million says it was all a lie. YOU DON'T SAY
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
The reward for turning in the "I ♥ Ho Ho Cake" bandit would buy a lot of Ho Ho cakes
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
North Carolina biologists try to identify "chupacabra" caught on video, possibly to determine if it can barbecued
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
The pilot who saved yesterday's Southwest Airline flight is a former Navy fighter pilot and a total badass
source: foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canberra Times)
 
 
 
Editor to reporter: Readers won't be able to decide whether they agree with this cocaine smuggling conviction unless we run at least 5 pictures of the insanely hot girl
source: canberratimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
33 abused chihuahuas rescued from a Ford Expedition. In other news, the Chihuahua Abuse Expedition is the name of subby's Laurie Anderson tribute band
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bradenton Herald)
 
 
 
Florida Man tries to sell broccoli claiming it's weed, someone ends up getting killed. Jolly Green Giant wanted for questioning
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Southwest accident likely caused by long face-melting guitar solo
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Some airlines may be installing bidets, which should be quite an adventure when turbulence hits
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this meeting
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
At Amazon headquarters you can bring your dogs to work. That's either PR gold or the best thing ever, possibly both. It's your Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
Boobies
 
Tuck yourself back inside side-boob, there's a new cleavage trend in town flopping around called the "underboob"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Size 14 granny pants filled with grilled cheese almost causes an ecological disaster. Ewwwwwww
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"A guy came running from the street and he said, 'Officer, you got the wrong guy.' But they didn't care"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
'Free weed for a year' contest being investigated by police after value of prize was calculated at one BILLION dollars
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
A feel good story about a teenager receiving more medical care in the US after the US blew his leg off when he was two years old
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Model prisoner somehow succeeded in escaping open prison, producing model hunt by 6,600 police
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Mormon leader tells crowd of African Mormons that poverty is spiritual and the only way out of it is to give what little you have to the church
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Police: Do as we say, not as we do
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Robber with glue gun finds himself in sticky situation
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
♫ I left my heart*... in San Francisco... ♫ *along with my used needles, trash, urine and feces
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 17, 2018
(SFGate)
 
 
 
"Your honor, I couldn't have possibly committed the rape because as you can see I'm a good-looking guy and she's 300 pounds"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg Free Press)
 
 
 
Apparently dog recycling is a thing in Winnipeg
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Bank robber "flees" on skateboard, with predictable results
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
And now for something completely different: A man with three faces
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
April 18 is the new April 15. Tax deadline extended to tomorrow
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Damien Shrader: I cannot report for jury duty because I'm supposed to be in preschool
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Eastern Indianapolis CSX "Damn Train" freight is so notorious it's got its own Facebook non-fan page; "There are two tracks, and this baby will trick you into thinking the wait is over"
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Let's make this all about you
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pals)
 
 
 
Photoshop this millennial socializing
source: studentnewsdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
NewsFlash
 
Barbara Bush dies at 92
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Unicorns are real, and there's proof because there's an inflatable unicorn island floating in the sea
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
BuzzFeed publishes a leaked archive it obtained of NYPD disciplinary records for the last 5 years. In other news the disciplinary records of NYPD cops are secret under state law
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
The #MeToo movement reaches the world of rodeo clowns
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Indiana State Trooper pulls over SUV loaded with over 78 pounds of marijuana with estimated street value of $250,000. "Somebody's 4/20 is canceled"
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
Marriage falling apart? Try a sex robot
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman, 28, blows all $220,000 inheritance from her father in nine months - $150,000 on drugs, and the remaining $70,000 on alcohol, clothes and a car - which she later crashed. Added bonus: she's single
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today Online)
 
 
 
Chinese public toilets go hi-tech with Wi-fi and facial recognition, though you'd think the recognition would be for the other side
source: todayonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Starbucks announces that Tuesday May 29th will be "don't mess with your caffeine-deprived coworkers day" if you want to live
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Wait, wait. Don't leave me, Carl
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
President of Uganda wants to ban oral sex in his country because 'the mouth is for eating.' Yeah, good luck with that
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this marathoner
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Who could be influencing the use of porn? Could it be... SATAN? The Vatican thinks so
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Because of course the IRS website would go 503 on Tax Day
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
"And if you look out the aircraft window on the left side, you'll see where we used to have an engine"
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Gategate is being litigated in rural Utah
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"♪♪ New York, New Yoooork., what a wonderful town ♫". Except for the mice who carry previously unseen viruses as well as bacteria capable of causing life-threatening human illness
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Slate writer discovers the least viral YouTube video of all time ... wait, no, scratch that
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
New York will remove statue of Doctor Who and you're already screaming "Don't Blink"
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
2 fatal semi wrecks leave Southern California's morning rush hour paralyzed with 4 separate SigAlerts. Farkers may post "what's a SigAlert?" to the right while SoCal Farkers may go with "what's rush hour?"
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Homeowner calls police after insane handyman touts loan program to buy 5000 chickens
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Doctors remove lighter from Chinese man's stomach twenty years after swallowing it. Man says he'll miss being able to light his farts from the inside
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Trillions upon trillions of viruses fall from the sky every day. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
New Jersey legislature moves to ban "ghost guns." Herp 'n' derp in article comments section: priceless
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-04-08 to Sat 2018-04-14
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
The Baboon Uprising has begun
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Woman calls police after discovering roommate has been sniffing her underwear, improperly using the futon cushion
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
In Utero is a pretty good Nirvana album. It's also where a woman in Florida keeps her tire gauge that she uses to smoke crack
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MyRecipes)
 
 
 
Enterprising teen starts a GoFundMe because he isn't into some weird fetish, he just wants to bathe in KFC gravy
source: myrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Honolulu Star Advertiser)
 
 
 
Jumping off a cliff to get away from the police only works in the movies
source: staradvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"My kid is being a complete asshat. I'm going to treat him with a naturopathic remedy made from rabid dog saliva. Okay?" Health Canada: "Seems legit." [APPROVED]
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop these new cones
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
City hall official, busted on suspicion of public indecency for taking out the garbage while nude, explains to police that putting on clothes bothered him
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Coral Springs rush in where Broward fears to tread
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The two Koreas are discussing an official end to their 68-year war, crushing plans for that M*A*S*H reboot
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asia Times)
 
 
 
India looking strong in the race to be the next region to hit 'day zero' water. Also in the running: Spain, Morocco, and Iraq. Step on up, place your bets
source: atimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
For a second year in a row, reporting on a sleazy sexual predator in a position of power wins the Pulitzer prize
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Mudslide blocks commuter rail service between Seattle and Everett, encourages stranded passengers to drink, croon Fleetwood Mac songs
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Alcohol plus axe throwing? What could possibly go wrong?
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLTV New Orleans)
 
 
 
Four hot asian babes busted for giving 'erotic massages'. We're gonna need bigger 'scare quotes'... No, bigger than that
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Hotel waffles: serious business
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In the biggest breakthrough since the cure for Polio, someone trained a dog to sniff out cheeseburgers
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
"Pet raccoon, stoned off of too much weed, brought to Indianapolis firehouse. Confusion ensues"
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXII Winston-Salem)
 
 
 
How addicted have we become to video games? So addicted not to even care that a tornado is right in your neighborhood, ripping off roofs as well as ripping the house next door clear off its foundation
source: wxii12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Patients will be allowed to inhale their medical marijuana, just not from joints, bowls or bongs. So apples, toilet paper tubes, and crushed coke cans it is then
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, at the British Milk Council
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Space heater catches fire at elderly man's home in SE Houston. "Bite my shiny metal ass' found written on a wall of the house
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 16, 2018
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Proof that schools are becoming more like prisons: The 8-year-olds are now shanking each other
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
African warthog captured in Florida. Panicking meerkat trying to raise bail money
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
A nationwide search started Monday for a 56-year-old mother and grandmother, not because she is lost but because she accused of murder in two states
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSPA)
 
 
 
Harry Anderson of "Night Court" fame has died
source: wspa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Khan-artist
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Since it's the day before that dreaded 3-letter day, Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) is about songs dealing with money and/or taxes
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Florida man asks one of the eternal questions of life: "What would happen if I stole some beer?"
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Pygmy whale dies after stranding itself on Florida beach. Jumbo shrimp, military intelligence to attend funeral
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Experts shocked by huge swarms of sharks in Northeastern US, suggest possibly getting a bigger boat, or maybe just staying on land for a while
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Paid summer vacations, other stupid myths about public school teachers. You'll be glad you skipped that career in education
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
In a fight between a Russian T-90 tank and an American M-1A2 Abrams, victory goes to the better crew. Or perhaps the one that has a bunch of friends in A-10s, but that's not the point
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
In today's economy, one must acquire the skills to succeed. And now you, too, can become a certified auxiliary cellphone exorcist
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adweek)
 
 
 
BREAKING NEWS: MSNBC eliminates ticker, because not every news story is a breaking-news emergency that must roll along the bottom of your screen and compete with the talent
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
There is either a monster or someone with Photoshop skills terrorizing Argentina
source: johnjayandrich.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
"Murray was on The Death March west from Birkenau as Russian soldiers advanced from the east. He was tired, cold, and hungry. He saw something in the air, descending towards him. It hit him in the chest, and he caught it. A 2-lb piece of roast beef"
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this overly affectionate hyena cub
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
19-year-old spring breaker learns that when you're holding a beer and a cop asks how old you are, "[expletive deleted] 12" is not the best response
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
App matches music to your rhythm during sex. Men get the "Minute Waltz", women get the "Unfinished symphony"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Children's clothes emblazoned with ENJOY COCAINE. Yeah, some people have a problem with that
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"He says an anti-depressant made him gay?" "Yes, sir. Maybe it just made him ok with being gay?" "No matter. Gay pills get clicks. Run the story"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Please stop abandoning unwanted Easter bunnies in Boynton Beach park. They're attracting coyotes, foxes, bobcats to our nice, high-end neighborhood, lowering property values
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
"Bracott" planned for today in response to nipple band-aid incident
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Florida has a lot to deal with, including tornadoes crossing high-rise bridges
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Front page news in the UK today involves an older couple outraged they can't buy meat pies before 9AM at their favorite grocer
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Surfers flock to high waves on Lake Erie, say the extra limbs they'll grow from the water will help their paddling
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this quarterback
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
"New footage of West Memphis baby-shower brawl may clear off-duty officer's name"
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Federal judge: "Transgender people are a protected class, so take your transgender military ban and tuck it"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Want to know where your favorite political figure is doing a graduation commencement speech? Make your travel plans. Here's your scorecard
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Will County Herald-News)
 
 
 
Minnesota and Wisconsin closed for the weekend. Snowman out front should have told ya
source: theherald-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Argument between two golfers leaves a hole in one
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Giant Meteor toys with shaking up the mid-term election
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
German doctor is charged with killing his lover by sprinkling cocaine on himself before having her perform oral sex, which gives a whole new meaning to "coke head"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Can you still join the Mile-High Club if three drunk strippers get into a catfight on your flight? Hell yes, there's video
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Grandmother shot in the face by stray bullet, lives to tell the tale to her grandchildren, who will pretend to be interested after hearing it ten times
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Great, another thing you will not be able to bring on-board... remember The Pen is mightier
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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