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Sun April 01, 2018
(CNN)
 
 
 
Because of course this would fall to earth on April Fool's Day
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
It takes 50 years for a broken heart to mend
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
"He tried to steal booze. Instead he got smacked upside the head with a bottle." Oh Jonathan, don't mess with Milwaukeeans and their alcohol
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop this horizontal activity
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Space stuff plummeting to Earth ETA moved to Monday. The Sun is there (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
 
 
Chugging a gallon of milk..... eating a spoonful of cinnamon.... chewing a ghost pepper.... eating a TidePod...... oh gosh, what to do next to make my generation look asinine. Oh hey, let's snort condoms
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
To combat declining birth rate, Japan to begin offering "Breeding Visas" to foreigners
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
You're more likely to be murdered in London than New York City these days
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Network)
 
 
 
Just in case anyone needs a good curry recipe this year. You know, for no reason in particular, just seemed like the right day to offer this up
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this comfy stuffed chair
source: redbirdv.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISTV)
 
 
 
Just remember, Disney is the happiest place on earth. Unless you're 24 weeks pregnant and get thrown off their cruise ship, and raise your voice. Then, you meet Disney security, who apparently are armed with M4's for some reason
source: wistv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Bill would let California developers build anything they want, ignoring zoning, as long as it's close to mass transit
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Yes, Mr. Johnson, Mrs. Johnson, Miss Johnson, Herr Johnson, Frau Johnson, Comrade Johnson, Señor Johnson, Raymond J. Johnson, Jr., and Dr. Johnson, it's that day again ... and some sites and companies are doing it and doing it and doing it well. #guineapigsrulecatsdrool
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Man legally immigrates and becomes a lawful permanent resident. He is falsely convicted of murder due to dirty cop, which removes his legal status. 23 years later he is exonerated and released from prison, only to be immediately detained by ICE because of course he is
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Ric Romero has apparently come out of retirement and started working for the Associated Press
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Easter bunnies are so last year, it's all about the Easter guinea pig today. Soooooo ..here's Peach the hairless guinea to start off the new tradition
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bunny)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Easter Egg Edition
source: colorbros.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Smell you later
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Holy Jesus. Break out the eye bleach. The long rumored Stormy Daniels-Donald Trump sex tape has been leaked. Definitely NSFW, and probably not safe for your eyes
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reader's Digest)
 
 
 
Turns out the creation of April Fool's Day was some sort of elaborate prank ... and no one knows exactly who was behind it
source: rd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Well, this is certainly going to make the situation in Sacramento a lot better
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Man used a hypodermic needle as a weapon during a robbery. What a prick
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The homeless situation is now grave
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
No matter how cool you think that Chinese space junk would look hanging above your bed, just leave it where you found it. It's not yours
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Delta Airlines flight hits birds, loses engine. Pilot lands successfully, loses movie deal
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
If you're a threat to Putin but are a fellow billionaire, you escape polonium in favor of prison
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Schoolboys refuse to let go of man about to hang himself from motorway bridge. "I hope other children can see it's worth stopping to help someone"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Do snakes fart? How about fish? Fart science has the answer. With helpful graphic of disgruntled fish
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 31, 2018
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Once again, it's time for the annual "Sorry, that college acceptance letter may just be a computer glitch"
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
There are assholes, and then there are "suing 10-year-old child because I ran into her bike while jogging" assholes
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Missouri lawmakers consider reversing post-Ferguson court reforms because limiting revenue-based law enforcement reduced municipal revenue
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Decreasing female population in China has men applying to Women's University to improve chances of finding a girlfriend
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
CVS, OhDAP leak HIV status via USPS, fail to notify HHS of HIPAA violation. WTF
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
U-Haul driver in New Hampshire arrested after running out of gas following a 20-mile interstate chase. Although who could blame the guy for trying his best to get out of New Hampshire as fast as possible?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
There's partying, and there's this guy
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone: Most doctors in Kentucky are no longer allowed to diagnose coal workers with black lung unless they (the doctors) work for the coal industry
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
High capacity magazines like those used in terror attacks in Parkland, Vegas and Pulse given out for free at a "gun rights rally"
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
An army of illegal aliens is marching on America from Central America
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these camouflaged birds
source: farm1.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Police seize narcotics haul valued at £1,300,000--all of which belonged to three pensioners
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Where did the Easter Bunny come from? Ask this Dead German scientist
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
This is a beautiful road, paved with the very best of intentions. Wonder where it leads?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ken)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beautiful Barbie
source: imgassets.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
♫♬ In and around the lake ♫♬ Tanker trucks tip over and they spill milk ♫♬
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
Kindergarten teacher approaches her job in the most Fark of ways
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Cooking without wine or beer? You may as well ask me to do my taxes while sober
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The feared Russian biker gang, The Night Wolves, drove to Bosnia to knock some heads. Instead they get mocked for being fat and toothless
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ocklawaha)
 
 
 
Florida Man™ tries the old "smell my finger" alibi
source: wtfflorida.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Freeman)
 
 
 
Two all-beef patties, special sauce, public lewdness, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun
source: dailyfreeman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ambitious senior applies to 20 colleges, with Harvard, Princeton, Northwestern, Yale, University of Pennsylvania, Stanford, Georgetown and Vanderbilt as his top picks. And gets accepted to all 8. Plus the other 12. With full rides to every single one
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Pope: Hell is back again
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
This cult was created by someone named Harry Palmer. They aren't even farking trying anymore, are they?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
New York judge apologizes for getting his hands on a few too many briefs
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bon Appetit)
 
 
 
Someone tweets that a single strand of spaghetti is a spaghetto, and people lose their minds. Wait till they try to figure out what a SpaghettiO is
source: bonappetit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Florida Guy)
 
 
 
Sometimes, when you have had a long day, there's nothing better than having a few drinks before passing out in a supermarket with a partially eaten and unpaid for chicken breast on your chest
source: parsippanyfocus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
I'm a shark. I'm a stalking SHAAAARK. Pull over you coppers and suck my .... I'M A SHAAAARK
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wickedfish)
 
 
 
Photoshop this 9 cubed
source: mesosyn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Astrophysicist to sink into black hole. [GOODBYE]
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
♫ And we're slow dancin', swayin' to the music, Slow dancin', just me and my girl, Slow dancin', swayin' to the music, No one else in the whole wide world, just you and Caturday ♫
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Buck with bowl on head saved by SPCA and wildlife officers. D'oh
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Taking the Plunge, literally
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MyRecipes)
 
 
 
Want to get out of a lousy over-cooked marriage? Try poaching an egg
source: myrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie. TLDR: Douglas Bader salute
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 30, 2018
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The great fried rice conspiracy
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
"Don't worry, the US would win a nuclear war with Russia" - Well, I feel better
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
He may be missing a foot but he can still see your house from up there
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
If you're the thief that stole the ashes of a police officer from his widow, be aware that you've urned the ire of the police
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Next Web)
 
 
 
In something that reads like an In Living Color skit, a porn site has launched a 'cock-blockchain cryptocurrency'. And promises 'to put the ass back into crypto-assets'
source: thenextweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Russia decides using nerve gas on random Brits is too subtle, moves to plan B: Running them over with planes
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
If I had a boat, I'd go out on the ocean. And if I didn't have one, I'd steal it from my neighbor. And we would hit a sandbar, and be rescued by the sheriff, who'd wonder why I wasn't wearing my ankle monitor
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
This free spirit dog has lived alone in a Los Angeles park for the past 13 years, doesn't want your steak or your help. Okay, maybe your steak
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Fake cop shoots real cop, real cops shoot fake cop. Confused? You won't be after this week's episode of Kentucky Cops
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
We know you were expecting chocolate Easter eggs, kids, but in their place please accept this sack of rotten carrots. You're welcome
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
You know, if the heights of your criminal enterprise consist of stealing three boxes of cigarillos from a gas station, you probably don't need to bother with the whole 'waving the gun around first' bit
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Online prostitution post by Carrot Top leads to robbery, lots of junk in trunks
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this aerial septuagenarian
source: farm1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Which is slower to wake up? A hibernating bear, or the average teenager? This webcam can help you decide
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
7-foot alligator thinks it's mating season, roams Tampa neighborhood. Hellloooo, baaaby
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
James Earl Ray was framed for the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. This worldview brought to you by: a) Modern-day neo-Nazis and white nationalists, b) Deep-state conspiracy theorists, or c) MLK's family
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Just hours after Pope Francis says hell doesn't exist, the Vatican literally begins falling apart. Mass confusion erupts
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsOK)
 
 
 
Ohhhhhhhhh...klahoma, where the left lane's only used to pass
source: newsok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Dead man found in woods today. Authorities will wait until Sunday to see how this plays out
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Behold, the LEGEND OF THE TURNIP historical marker
source: en.m.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
Video
 
Montana man out looking for shed antlers from elk doesn't find any, but locates the rest of one tangled in barb-wire fence and sets it free
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Mary Kay Letourneau's husband is now old enough to drink
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
You know what we really need? A department of PreCrime
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bustle)
 
 
 
It was represented to me by the bursting open, as it were, of the infernal pit of Hell itself from whence issued out a horrid pastry that darken'd the whole doughnut shop
source: bustle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Russia releases test footage of new missile. Could it be ... Satan?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Painting left in closet in Iowa for decades actually worth millions
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
I don't know but I heard tell / New recruits are fat as hell / I don't know but heard the song / Basic will now be 12 weeks long
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Bullied boy finds acceptance with rescue cat that has same rare condition. D'awwww
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sad clown
source: s1.ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Long Island judge steals neighbor's dirty underwear, leads police on brief chase. Will most likely be suspendered. Still refuses to reveal what Step Two is
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Rev. Kirbyjon Caldwell, pastor of 16,000+ member Village United Methodist Church (Houston TX) and longtime friend of Bush 43, indicted for fraud for selling $1M in worthless Chinese bonds to "vulnerable" and elderly. One look at that smile
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Autopsy reveals that the Sacramento Police are the greatest trick-shooters in the world as they managed to shoot Stephon Clark 8 times in the back or side while he "advanced towards them" with a phone in his hand that they mistook for a gun
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Synthetic marijuana K2 causing Illinoisians to bleed from their eyes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salina Post)
 
 
 
Ceiling ex is watching you, well, everything
source: salinapost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Plea entered in 'Treehouse of Child Porn' case. 'Bestiality Yurt' and 'Log Cabin of Forcible Sodomy' cases presumably still ongoing
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(European Space Agency)
 
 
 
The latest calculations from ESA on the trajectory of Chinese space junk says that you are totally out of harm's way... If you're in Antarctica. Everybody panic
source: blogs.esa.int   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
It's not a tumor
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Heineken apologizes for racist ad with new special-release 'Blacks Only' beer
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Irish Catholic churches to have lines for the confession booth going out the doors after pubs around the country open their doors for pints on Good Friday for the first time in 91 years
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
My mom used to get angry when I didn't do my homework but she never tried to cut my head off with a saw
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Forget the Border Wall, we're going straight for 'Space Fence'
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
UCF student deported to China over 'disturbing behavior,' including buying guns, not going to class, attending UCF in the first place
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
Please note: "Cleavage is my Kryptonite" is not something high school teachers should say on the job
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Iowa man wins lawsuit over calling his hometown stinky
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
NewsFlash
 
Pulse Nightclub gunman's wife found not guilty
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Does use of sex dolls transform people into psychopaths, as the article suggests, or do serial killers just gravitate towards them? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
*Ding dong* Who is it? Plumber, ma'am. I don't need a plumber. Candygram. Candygram, my foot. You get out of here before I call the police. Wait. I-I'm only a dolphin, ma'am
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Amorous authors' Amazon rankings pounded by advertising-amicable algorithms. Chuck Tingle submitted this article with a better headline
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Weed)
 
 
 
Photoshop this prime weed
source: arnoldzwicky.s3.amazonaws.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Uber Eats driver says he shot teen who tried to rob him in IHOP parking lot. Dude, Uber Eats will deliver IHOP? Sweet
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Looking for a job this summer that doesn't require wearing clothes? This nudist campground is looking for a lifeguard
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Mom charged with leaving toddler in car that was then towed. Plus she had to pay the tow bill and the toddler fee. It adds up
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
British water company to homeowners: "Please don't flush your piranha down the toilet"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Breaking up is hard to do. But most people don't go to the police for advice on dumping someone
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Two women arrested for fighting with human excrement. According to police, no cup was involved
source: theeagleonline.com.ng   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
C is for cookie. And everything served in this restaurant starts with the letter C
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Now and then, hiding things in plain sight doesn't quite work out as planned
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
I-65 pothole in Indianapolis flattens more than two dozen tires in one night, immediately qualifying it as an Indiana Department of Transportation Historical Site
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Now THAT'S a hull of a ship
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Los Angeles judge rules Starbucks cups in California have to have a cancer warning. And you thought the whole Christmas cup thing was silly
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If your allergies are getting worse, you can blame it in part on botanical sexism
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Cops say Mikey the Miami Monkey's not breaking any laws, so he can hang out in his tree by the strip club
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 29, 2018
(Distractify)
 
 
 
"Dear tourists, please stop coming here looking for all the penises. Sincerely, the offices of the Reykjavík International Film Festival"
source: distractify.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Autopsies of California coyote stomachs reveal they enjoy REI over Roadrunner
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Seattle startup company offers chairs that can double as bulletproof vests, perfect for when you're tired of running from gunfire and just want to sit down for a moment
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Houston becomes the second city to get a huge, shiny metal bean sculpture. Chicago hears about it. Hilarity ensues
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Skynet issues an RFP
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Tijuana Sewage Flow is the name of my punk salsa band
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
The major flaw with prisoners setting fire to things to protest conditions in their jail is that they ARE locked in those cells, so, if the fire gets out of hand,...well
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iceland Review)
 
 
 
How crazy is the bad weather in Iceland today? How about "flying rocks" crazy
source: icelandreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
The inevitable dolphin-human war has begun
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Splinter News)
 
 
 
NYPD: While we've stopped making officer discipline records public, we're just correcting a 40-year old mistake and also, didn't change anything because it was always this way. This press conference is starting. Hello. Good morning
source: splinternews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Ever notice how 'Indiana' and 'large cockfighting bust' often appear together?
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Men caught dropping off bathtub, bags of ice at restaurant. Stay away from the kidney pie until this thing is cleared up
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Mom calls cops after son tries to pay for pot with fake $100 bill, then hands over his brother's Xbox to dealer to make up the debt
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: Blank Canvas Edition
source: i5.walmartimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Please note: not everyone will accept your therapy goat
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
Video
 
Toddler raps DMX while doing chores -- and she's pretty farking good
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania middle school hosts donkey basketball game fund raiser, says it's much cheaper than a flight to Tijuana
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nottingham Post)
 
 
 
A note was left in the box saying '10pm'
source: nottinghampost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Surely the Parkland massacre will convince people to be more welcoming to outsiders in hopes of . . . aww, lawd
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
It's never good when the Pentagon releases night-vision video of you
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Celebrated Bay Area craft-brewer Fieldwork Brewing may be in danger of losing thier liquor licenses at all five of their taprooms because their dumbass co-founder beat somebody up after a traffic argument
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Jersey City police officers allegedly drag Domino's manager in fight over pizza delivery in the most Jersey story you'll read today
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Things normal people cheer about: their team making a touchdown, getting a raise. Things this guy cheers about: getting sentenced to death
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
What happens when pirates die? They're interrrred
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio Alt 102.3 FM)
 
 
 
Mother catches daughter getting drunk and punishes her by getting her more drunk. Kentucky parenting at its finest
source: alt1023fm.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: What are some of your favorite one-pot dishes? Difficulty: no easy-outs with crock pots or stews
source: womansday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Russian woman caught performing sex act on defendant while he waited for verdict. It's unknown if he was awarded a stiffer sentence for violating Russia's penal code
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
A student received F's for every class since 8th grade, yet nobody intervened and he was advanced every year. Last week, he received a notice saying he isn't going to graduate
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this window frame
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WIBX 950 Utica)
 
 
 
Sometimes it's nice when you discover a coworker has left you a handmade gift. Other times, not so much
source: wibx950.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Looking to buy a new home on a $300,000 budget in Washington, D.C.? Great news, there are an exciting array of refrigerator boxes, sewer grates, and cast-off tarps that may be exactly what you're looking for
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
"Craft brewers" now account for 13 percent of all beer sales, 99.8 percent of all hop sales in United States
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNSNews)
 
 
 
Pope declares there is no hell. Next he will be farking with the Easter Bunny. At least one Farker is off the hook
source: cnsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Wait, Canada had a warship? Like for war?
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You're frustrated because sanctions have crippled your ability to raise sufficient capital to fund your nuclear ambitions, so naturally you sell fake sex potions made from dogs and pigs. Bonus: They contain extremely high levels of harmful heavy metals
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It's a TELEPHONE! You can't text on that phone! Ain't you never seen a damn phone? WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUSHING YOUR FINGERS INTO THE HOLES TO DIAL? You got to spin the wheel. ITS A PHONE. ITS A PHONE. ITS A PHONE. Lord Jesus
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Choose your own adventure: A man storms into a housing office with a bag of knives and shows workers images of hemorrhoids and the Illuminati. What do you do?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Do you like someone yanking up your underwear right up into your genitals? If so welcome to the nerdy and uncomfortable world of wedgie fetishes
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Skylark)
 
 
 
Some people collect 1950s-era cars. Others collect 1920s - 1930s-era hot rods. Then there's this guy
source: hagerty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
What you need to know before you win the $502 million Mega Millions jackpot. Number one: You're not going to win the $502 million Mega Millions jackpot
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Smart teen snaps up @CarnivalCruise SnapChat handle. Carnival posts billboards featuring Shaq around his hometown asking if they can have it and offers him a free cruise
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania, being one of the more enlightened and civilized states, finds it advisable to add legislation in an attempt to stop dog-fighting rings. Such honor. So courage
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
Parkland school shooter is receiving a ton of fan mail in prison. Some items he's gotten are cleavage pictures, love letters, and a picture of a man driving a 1992 Nissan convertible. That car picture will surely make him reflect on his choices
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Accused mail bomber previously called 911 to report terrorists talking to him through his knees. Officials suspect involvement of Axl Rose and his 'Sha na na na na na na' terror group
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
'Funeral Potatoes' - I have so many questions
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inforum)
 
 
 
My girlfriend lives in Canada, so you wouldn't know her. Oh yeah, and she's 18, and she gets $1000 a week from Lotto Canada for the rest of her life
source: inforum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Spy)
 
Weeners
 
British dick spotted
source: digitalspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
'The Pickle Guys' on Lower East Side serves up horseradish so strong, you need a gas mask. This is not a euphemism
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Former Offspring drummer turned OB/GYN saves juror's life during his own malpractice trial
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CW Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Someone was already riding shotgun, so this cheetah decided to sit in the backseat during an African safari
source: cwlasvegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Area around Jesus' baptism site being cleared of land mines. Because someone slathered Jesus' baptism site in land mines, just what Jesus would have wanted
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Something)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mystery object
source: readersdigest.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Implants left women with awesome death metal band name
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
He must be sick of the prison food
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Clerk electrifies courtroom, mistakenly announces death sentence due to poorly-executed jury paperwork
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pensacola News Journal)
 
 
 
Apparently, a pregnancy can be confused with bad Chinese food
source: pnj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Armed with nunchucks, man impersonates both a state trooper and the FBI while trying to fight a 15 year-old boy
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
When your brother-in-law entrusts you with signing for his $461,000 Ferrari when it's delivered, don't take it for a test drive before he comes home
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOWT Omaha)
 
 
 
Guy lusts after huge rack, grabs it
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Drunk? Yes. On an ATV? Yes. Holding a beer and doing donuts in front of a sheriff? Yes. Telling the sheriff to, "come and get me"? Yes, that too
source: waltonso.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
The best parties are the ones you organise yourself, even if it is your own wake
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Breaking 4,000 eggs is good business practice for your omelette shoppe, not for your fertility clinic
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
'If you think for one second that sending me a video of you in your white hoods and pajamas burning a cross and making threats intimidates me, you obviously have no clue who you're dealing with.'
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
The one where the guy's beer belly is a 30-pound tumor
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Not news: A ransomware attack. News: Against the city of Atlanta. Fark: The hackers closed the pay portal due to too much spam
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Florida man won't use his fingerprint to unlock his mobile phone for cops because he is dead. Detective Honey Badger don't care
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
♪ You tell a lie about a coconut, it get you locked up ♪
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 673: "What the L?". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 28, 2018
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Elementary school teacher in Texas suspended for discussing her sexual orientation
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Worboys release decision overturned, in move Immortan Joe considers mediocre
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Dutch schoolteacher who saved hundreds of Jewish children during Holocaust dies at 107. We could really use more people like him today. Godspeed sir
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wonderful welding worker
source: reviewposition.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
So we're still cleaning our dryer filters and belly buttons because Lent isn't over yet. Hopefully you're not spending 40 days without the Weekly Weird News Quiz, March 18-24 Is It Over Yet I Want To Start Drinking Again Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Pro tip: Don't try to make a U-turn on a road that is only barely wider than your vehicle's wheelbase - especially if one edge of the road is perched on a steep cliff
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(One America News Network)
 
 
 
Today marks 39 years since the Three Mile Island nuclear accident In Pennsylvania. There were no reported deaths or injuries as a result of the accident, but health experts are studying whether the radiation leak led the creation of Philly Fan
source: oann.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Chicken has survived for nine days after losing its head, scratches in the dirt that it's going after Mike the headless chicken's record of 18 months (Graphic) (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
You think $400 is too much for a hand crocheted blanket? How about I charge you $800? Tag is for the customer
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Illegal search and seizure. Period
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Box)
 
 
 
Photoshop this delivery
source: printmaillogistics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
At least 5 injured after dispute between driver and people on the street leads to driver getting out of van and chasing after people with an ax
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
For some reason, scientists aren't keen on one company's idea to create on-demand meteor showers. Pfft. What a bunch of party poopers
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
No, calling 911 and ordering a "pepperoni pizza" is not a secret way of telling the operator you need help
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Bad: You have gonorrhea. Worse: It's super-gonorrhea. WTF: "World's worst" super-gonorrhea
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
I think you flooded the engine
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
How To Win A Trade War: Choose Your Own Adventure style
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reviewed.com)
 
 
 
You might want to rethink your description of edible fiddleheads if the best you can come up with is "a flavor that makes me think of moss and good, damp soil"
source: ovens.reviewed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 26 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
"In 1885 the first hamburger was made right here in Seymour, Wisconsin and we have indisputable evidence to prove that"
source: nbc26.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Teens attempt to steal pizza delivery car, can't operate stick shift
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grub Street)
 
 
 
Someone finally invented Peeps-flavored beer, perhaps to go with that Peeps pizza we learned about this week
source: grubstreet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
There are ways to get out of paying a half million dollars in back child support you owe, but paddleboarding off into the sunset probably isn't the best
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Diego Reader)
 
 
 
Restaurant in California fined $3000 because of: a) health code violations, b) safety violations, or c) allowing customers to dance inside the restaurant
source: sandiegoreader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ireland to open first official nude beach in case you like to watch old pasty people
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Chinese police release underground bishop, who immediately moved in a diagonal direction to safety
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
NYC helicopter crash was caused when the front-seat passenger slid across the bench seat toward the pilot, leaned back, and extended his legs to take a pic of his feet outside the helicopter, snagging his seat belt on the emergency fuel cutoff switch
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Planned Parenthood: We want your little princess to have sex and an abortion
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bizarre loophole that means anyone can legally park on your driveway
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
BMW X5 owner suing after thumb severed by self-closing door despite fact his Rolex was unscathed
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Corey Feldman stabbed in crazed sex story revenge plot. No word on whether he was wearing sunglasses. Or if it was vampires. I dunno the Coreys all look alike to me
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
China *snicker* says Best Korea *snicker* really wants to denuclearize this time *snicker* No, really, hands on my heart *snicker*
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Tunnel falling down? Just fill it with trash
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Weather Underground)
 
 
 
Cool season tornadoes are becoming more common, forming their own cliques and making fun of the nerd season tornadoes
source: wunderground.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Utah's liquor control commission debates alcohol and axe throwing. "People actually do this, huh?"
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Good news, everybody. The Potomac River cleanup efforts have been so successful that it's now safe to swim in it again. So, go ahead. No, seriously, you can go first. Yeah, I'll be right behind you. Go on, it's cool
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Finally the question that no one asked has been answered: Is it more healthy to eat an avocado or a can of Strongbow?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dreary lake
source: 3.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Two sad old dogs get a much better life from a shelter and foster families. It's your happy and thankful Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Seven-foot alligator sighted near Memphis. Man, these new Graceland exhibits sound pretty cool
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Forget it Jake, it's Florida
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Rubber ducks are more dangerous than you might think
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(K2 Radio)
 
 
 
The officer photographed the girl's left arm and saw a red mark "consistent with something hot, like a burrito, striking her"
source: k2radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(929jack.com)
 
 
 
HOW TO: Break out of Jail like Indiana Jones under a closing garage door
source: 929jack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
The long arm of justice causes man's arm to get stuck in a church drop box he was trying to steal from
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWWL Waterloo)
 
 
 
Chris Hansen asks himself to take a seat right over there
source: kwwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
First, they came for the antique lighthouse lenses, and I said nothing
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Coyote takes nap on mezzanine of museum in New York, gets mistaken for performance art
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Amazingly, this has nothing to do with Action Park
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
And it's official, the favorite Jelly Bean flavor of Americans is ... oh, bloody hell. You know, maybe we deserve what's happening right now
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 27, 2018
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Avery Island, where Tabasco sauce has been made for the past 150 years, is under threat from climate change
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Adorable toddler fills in for his older Marine Corps brother as his girlfriend's prom date. Sappy tag filling in for Hero tag because of all this dust
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The self-driving car anti-collision technology didn't fail, Uber just turned it off
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
All those who were able to see ads for apartment and housing rentals on Facebook, take a step forward, because we're sure you can. Not so fast, people with disabilities, people who speak English as a second language, and single moms with young kids
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
What was it? Aliens? V'Ger? Something bizarre is forming above Arizona skies
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If you suffer from insomnia you should try to sleep like a Victorian if walking like an Egyptian doesn't work
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
Jesus needs to eat too - "Jesus is here, he's back to earth. I just broke in and had a pizza. I'm Jesus"
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
North Carolina police searching for man in gold jumpsuit. Has Mark Hamill been found?
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: CamAnal adventures
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
♪♪ duunnn dunnn ... duuuunnnn duun ... duuunnnnnnnn dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn dunnnn ♪♪
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cardinal
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Lawyer says Stormy Daniels doesn't have 'Monica Lewinsky type' dress. Have you checked for orange stains?
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Lost Amazon villages uncovered by archaeologists, were abandoned in the great tech bubble of 1450
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Corpse-sex threat prisoner has appeal, just not to Subby
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Well, here's something you won't read in the Huffington Post
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Marijuana could reduce drug and alcohol relapses for addicts, creating much more dangerous marijuana addicts and jazz musicians
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Cannabis company sells California town it envisioned as marijuana resort after nothing was actually done to attract new residents because everybody was too high
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Just in case you were confused, bunnies do not lay eggs, peeps were not just born
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
We have investigated ourselves and found ourselves innocent of any wrongdoing in the shooting death of the deaf man who didn't follow orders
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Owl delivering wedding rings to the groom attacks one of the best men. 10 points off for Gryffindor
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Scientist are investigating smoking elephants in India. Not only do I not understand the attraction, where do you find wrapping paper large enough to go around it?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
FEMA's plan if the falling Chinese satellite takes aim at a US city? Basically pointing at the sky and yelling "look out"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this investigative moment
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Traffic in front of children's dance studio like "Frogger with humans." It ain't really the same thing, though. You don't use a joystick to actually move around. Unless you're hit by a car
source: nanaimonewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoundCloud)
 
 
 
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? 'Tis Part the II of Plan the IX, From Space, featuring Dana Gould, Greg DiConstanzo, Tim Blaney, Frank Dietz, Jackey Raye Neyman Jones, and a couple of Farkettes
source: soundcloud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
When you build an underground bunker in your backyard, be sure you stock it with plenty of food, water, and cocaine. Lots and lots of cocaine
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Missing Harley Quinn cosplayers arrested in Nevada
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Two pilots separately verify streetlight sighting at 40,000 feet
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Isn't such a waste that people still throw out perfectly good human placentas into dumpsters? That's a meal for at least six people with just a few onions, carrots, potatoes
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Woman arrested after making lewd comments to Easter Bunny
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The early results of Austria's attempt to ban full-face veils are in: A group of Japanese tourists wearing smog masks, 6 skiers, 2 mascots in animal costumes, and 1 actual Muslim. Nice work there guys
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Louisiana family uses alligator for baby gender reveal. Your move, Australia
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
"We, probably unwisely, chose to play with [the old box of dynamite] a little bit. We were handling it and breaking it and seeing what was in it. So as it turns out, that was not very smart"
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Egyptian mummy found in supposedly empty coffin. I think I saw this episode of Scooby Doo
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Woman finds 6 foot NOPE in a field
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
If your schizophrenic roommate thinks you're a devil worshipper, hide all the kitchen knives and sleep with one eye open
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Can't afford apartment rent on modest teacher salaries? No problem, you can bunk in your schools instead. Gym showers close at 6 pm though
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
If you're going to give your kid money for a tattoo, first of all, you've probably made some bad life choices; second of all, make sure he doesn't buy an AR-15 so he could shoot up a school
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Health risks of grilled meat, Iraqi cinema developments, and who still uses gaming cartridges anyhow? These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-03-18 to Sat 2018-03-24
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Now nobody panic, but a Chinese space station is out of control and hurtling towards Earth, and no one knows exactly where it will land. 每个人都紧张
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Woman uses $400 hairdryer to cook a chicken, because why the hell not
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
There is a dress possibly with the Presidential DNA stained on it, proving everything. This is not a repeat from 1998
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
You don't have to quit Facebook - just fill it with false info
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Myrtle Beach Online)
 
 
 
Woman destroys chocolate bunny after confronted about stealing, police say
source: myrtlebeachonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Burglar makes sign of the cross before throwing brick through window of clothing store
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You can now own Donald Trump - his naked statue, that is
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ohio.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this syrupy gathering
source: ohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYPD saves suicidal man suffering from advanced MineCraft Pixelitis attempting to jump off an isometric bridge. With video goodness
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Retiring in Boca Raton, Phoenix, or Palm Springs. New hotness: Retiring in Coeur d'Alene, Provo, or Pittsburgh because you can't afford a home in the Sun Belt
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
A Florida couple decide the best way to deal with the shooting tragedy is to steal toys from the memorial
source: kfiam640.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Woman refuses to let her boyfriend go. By pinning him up against his car with her own vehicle
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man who was bitten by rat as he exited Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin at Disneyworld tells Disney, "To the courtroom - and BEYOND"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Woman drinks half a bottle of Jack Daniel's, drives to her medical marijuana provider and finds it closed. So she runs her Honda Civic through storefront and smashes every window with a baseball bat to "teach a lesson"
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Sex workers complain about being screwed by Google Drive
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Police pressed to punish peeper peeking at panties in pricey plaza
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
If there wasn't already enough to worry about with Australian wildlife, the snakes are now eating slippers
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
New Zealand school keeps the students' toilets under lock and key, Sixx, Mick and Tom unavailable for comment
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Drunk woman claims her sister ran into her pocketknife while she was cutting ham, twice
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hindsight is 20/20: If you're a youth pastor boinking an underage congregation member, probably best not to leave a paper trail by sending her a card that says, "We're legal" on her 18th birthday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man with 'I am a thief and an idiot' tattooed on his face proves to be right on both counts
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"How was your day, dear?" "Oh, nothing special. I just won a staring contest with a mountain lion that wandered into our yard. What do you want for dinner? "
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISN Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Zoning board blocks opening of shelter meant to help girls escape sex trafficking, based on testimony from one, single neighbor who was arrested, charged with child sex-trafficking after being turned in by his mom
source: wisn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 26, 2018
(CNN)
 
 
 
Linda Brown, the girl who was at the center of the Brown vs. Board of Education case that ended school segregation, has died at 76. Rest in Power
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Maybe if you're part of a cyber-criminal gang that stole almost a billion Euros, stay out of the EU where they have real police? Try a sparsely populated banana republic where the police are easily bribed. Just saying
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Police sergeant reprimanded for whacking lower-ranking officers on the helmet with a lightstick, forcing them to eat spicy noodles. Not euphemisms, certainly not in Japan
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Court motion reveals the Pulse gunman's father was an FBI informant, surprising many with the fact that there are FBI informants who are not connected with the Trump campaign
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
If you're going to read a story about a watery mess and Taco Bell, this can probably be considered one of the better options
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this street sweeper
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Times)
 
 
 
SC Johnson's P.R. Dept. tries to get ahead of the next 'TidePod Challenge' insists smoking pot dosed with Raid Bug Spray won't turn users into zombies. Once the 'Z word' enters the news cycle, you've lost
source: techtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
On tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT), a different March theme - songs I added to my iTunes collection in March, whether by purchasing or by ripping a CD
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Can't ride, escalator will eat me. Can't ride, escalator will eat me"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Charles Bronson covered himself in butter to rumble with prison guards. How dairy
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABA Journal)
 
 
 
Not content with being sanctioned for alcohol abuse, Kansas lawyer shows up to disciplinary hearing drunk (with link to video)
source: abajournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Remember this isn't the movies, service doesn't equal citizenship, so don't do anything that might get you deported like deliver a laptop case full of cocaine to an undercover cop
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
On board video captures the terrifying moment a truck crashes into a South Carolina school bus carrying four students with special needs. Thankfully it's not smell-o-vision
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PetaPixel)
 
 
 
Want to sell your house? A great idea is to get a professional photographer to take great photos - a not so great idea is thinking he's a burglar and shooting him
source: petapixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Research shows definite link between vaccines and autism, according to this misleading tagline. Fark's, not CNN's
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WANE Ft. Wayne)
 
 
 
Cocaine boats found in unlicensed tattoo shop, not to be confused with heroin ships, meth barges, and acid canoes. With mugshot goodness
source: wane.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phnom Penh Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vile vial
source: phnompenhpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
34 things to know about the South before moving here from the North. Includes all the important stuff, such as barbecue
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The Heinz Wildlife Refuge wants to allow hunting behind the airport - but don't worry, it's bow and arrow only
source: billypenn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newcastle Herald (Australia))
 
 
 
Lawyering 101: If a client asks for their deposit back, don't show her a pic of your balls instead
source: theherald.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NYT wants Farkers to submit their best graphical opinion pieces. Show us before you submit
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bowling Green Daily News)
 
 
 
Man found naked in helicopter after driving car into lake
source: bgdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Most people only find ghosts or trash in the basement of their new homes. This guy found an abandoned dog
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
If some guy claims he was forced to drink poison, and, to sweat it out, you must perform sexual acts four times with him plus have intercourse three times within 48 hours, tell him he's a goner
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
Protect your canine best friend from Alabama Rot disease, which surprisingly doesn't involve tooth decay
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Nipple stickers are the new glitter boobs (Not Safe For Work)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Man accused of stealing meat - lots and lots of meat
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Gazette)
 
 
 
Today, March 25, is National Waffle Day. So maybe have some for dinner. Or don't. Well, maybe after dinner
source: thegazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Weeners
 
Tricycle rider and five others charged with beating up an innocent man because he took the rider's penis with N50 balance. This headline makes more sense than the article
source: pmnewsnigeria.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
McDonald's French fries spilled over California freeway after truck overturns. CHiPs immediately present at accident site
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Uzbekistan proposes tripling property tax for people who don't keep enough chickens
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
High tech speed camera van is no match for disgruntled motorist and his umbrella
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Somebody paid $11,197 for Whitey Bulger's prison commissary ID card
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
"It all started Saturday night when the woman allegedly choked her former best friend's new best friend at a PTA meeting"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Israel's military fired off a salvo of ten or so missile interceptors at nothing in mistake that cost the country around a half million dollars (w/ pics and vids)
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RTE Ireland)
 
 
 
Fired waiter says he is not rude, just French
source: rte.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Stumbling into traffic yelling at cars, blowing a .286, kicking an officer in the head and being tasered twice will leave you looking like this guy
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Times Square has changed so much that muggers now wear suits and ties when beating the crap out of other subway riders
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Architectural Digest)
 
 
 
Photoshop this '70s deal
source: media.architecturaldigest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Eggs dropped from a crop duster plane for an event in an Arizona neighborhood may be covered in herbicide because someone forgot to rinse out the plane's tanks. Seriously. who thought this was a good idea?
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter