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| Sun March 18, 2018 |
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Game not working? Blow in the cartridge
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Brother and sister were 'jacking it together, and family reunions will now be more difficult
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Austin EMS responds to home explosion, initial reports of injuries (developing story)
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Your instant pot is gross
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French cheesemakers camembert the fact that Canadians are better blessed
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Tanks for the memories: Belarus' number one tank hunter finds and restores WW II tanks
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Photoshop who you would call upon in history
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Finally a diet fad that all winos can get behind: Two glasses of wine before bedtime will keep the pounds away (possible nsfw content on page)
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It was bound to happen. Cops issue warrant for location information of every cell phone in the vicinity of a murder
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Step 1: Claim food poisoning at a holiday resort. Step 2: Get caught because of pouting smug poolside selfies while having a great time. Priceless: Have a judge find you "fundamentally dishonest" and be ordered to pay a £15,000 fine
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Australian mechanical engineer claims he used Google Earth to locate a bullet-riddled MH370. Says it remains hidden off the coast of Malaysia because of the USA. Word salad to the left, questioning the man's sanity to the right
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"Hey George, that doesn't look like a shipwreck." "That's no shipwreck...that's a submarine...and it's COMING RIGHT TOWARDS US"
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Photoshop this salty woman
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You know you're having a bad day when you crash your car into a wall and your 10-year-old calls the cops on your drunken ass as she walks to a nearby relative's house to get help
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Rescued red fox kit begins to recover at Wisconsin Humane Society. Squeeeeee
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Umm, nothing?
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All shipwrecks are discovered schooner or later
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Beer-brewing monks get pissed at supermarket for selling their holy beer without permission
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Dogs respond better to baby talk. Yes, they do. Yes, they do, my little shnookie-bookie-pookie
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Man goes to local Burger King for breakfast, comes home with the entire restaurant. That's what you call having it your way
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Locked inside a courtroom for over an hour and using a bench to break out causes $3000 in damages by A) defendant B) lawyer C) judge
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Presenting the most rural Michigan headline ever: Man smashes stolen snowmobile through the door of a party store in order to steal lottery tickets and cigarettes. With surveillance video
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It's 10:30 AM on the East Coast, and if you were so drunk you missed it yesterday, take the Fark Weird News Quiz March 4-10 St. Paddy's Day Edition (Your pants are right where you left them, draped across the hedge by the front door.)
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96-year-old enraged veteran of Imperial Japanese Navy minces no words in message to youth: War is not cool. "Instead of a glorious death, the young man witnessed his comrades dying in a ditch"
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Things to do with a broken trampoline: Turn it into an elevated garden, turn the frame into a giant holiday wreath, prop it up against a tree and use it as an outdoor movie screen, or convert it into a chicken coop
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India publishes children's book of inspiring leaders from history. Obama? Sure. Gandhi? Absolutely. Hitler? Hang on
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Photoshop this funky bunch
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CSB Sunday Morning: Stories from science class
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Meghan Markle must change the way she eats if she wants to cut the mustard as a royal
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The FBI are now a bunch of gold-diggers
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What, *your* city doesn't celebrate St Patrick's Day with a cement truck parade?
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New evidence suggests essential oils cause abnormal breast growth in men. Stay tuned for more developments
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Ich bin ein Dorito esser
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Inmate dies after being strapped into a chair for 46 straight hours. So they put him on a United flight?
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The U.S. Mint finally gets its assets together and issues a $5 'Pink gold' coin in support of breast cancer research
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Canada and the world a little sadder as comedian Mike McDonald is now doing standup for the angels
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| Sat March 17, 2018 |
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Study reveals how Americans have coped with Trump presidency
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Photoshop this stylish man
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Brits are now just 'four meals from anarchy' if Russia cuts off fuel and power to the country over spy poisoning row. Terrible because you know how bad British food is already (possible nsfw content on page)
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Japan rolls out newer, quieter bullet train; not to be outdone, NYC gives its subway cars a fresh dousing of urine
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Aluminum foil stock prices shot up dramatically in overnight trading indices
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55-year-old still lives with mom, has no job and has riled police in multiple states for stealing money from car wash machines. But it's okay, mom says she's proud of him
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Private parking lot enforcement company charged with felony failing to cut city in on a piece of the action
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Leprechauns are real ya know, just ask Ireland's only leprechaun whisperer who talks to the 'little people' all the time
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Photoshop this ratatouille
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For you desert Farkers, remember Spring means the nopes are crawling from their dens
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Guess who turns 70 years old today? Maybe you shouldn't send flowers
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Drunk NJ municipal judge curses at cops, tells them "I'm a f--king judge" after failed sobriety test, goes on to beat DWI rap. Justice not served
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Three winning designs have been announced for Ann Arbor's manhole cover contest. In other news, there was an actual contest held to design a manhole cover
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Remember the "bride" who was arrested for DUI on her wedding day? No matter what the police tweeted, it was a sun dress and wasn't her wedding day
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That kid that was suspended for NOT walking out of class during gun violence protests? Yeah...hold on to your pearls and prepare your fainting couch, but it turns out the truth may have been fudged a wee bit
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"Is my child a tattletale? Is that bad?"
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On a seemingly slow day in the BBC news room: Am I okay with my son saying. "A nöff-nöff?"
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Here are some fascinating facts about St. Patrick's Day to get your brain in the spirit before you drink too much and pass out
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Photoshop these loungers
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Who knew Liberace had a second residence in Detroit? Bonus: Sale includes the full contents of home and garage
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64-year-old man retires, 2 days later discovers what to do with his free time. He decides to climb trees and rescue stranded cats. Almost 150 felines (and a stray iguana) later, he still does it for free, because he's awesome like that on Caturday
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As the digital age marches onward, the age of sarcasm slowly withers away into the ether
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Arizona has made sure future generations have the same access to diabetes as the ones that came before them
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Rapist discovered by DNA evidence because he urinated in flower pot. Extra points: Decades later
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Prince Charles spends eight months every year at billionaires' houses and he's got a list of tour riders that would shame Madonna
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We have entered an era where more and more women are empowered ... to rob banks
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Reset the dog clock
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Bad: driving drunk. Worse: your child is in the car. Florida: you have four flat tires
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| Fri March 16, 2018 |
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On the bright side, having Trump supporters hold a rally in your town is no longer the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to Charlottesville
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As students walked out to protest the ease of gun ownership, one custodian stole cash out of their backpacks
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Intruder who forced way into apartment was drunk, hammered
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The New Yorker is under fire for accurately depicting Donald Trump's body on its cover
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McCabe fired two days before retirement
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Lead engineer to DOT: Hey guys, bridge appears to be cracking. You might want to look into that. Don't feel like calling back but well, who doesn't check their voicemail
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Hey, so this is interesting: Stormy Daniels' attorney says that some of the things she's accusing Trump of doing happened "during his presidency"
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Nepal plane crash survivor says don't drink, sleep on flight. Subby likes to live dangerously
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Rex, I hope you're sitting down for this
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Photoshop this cowboy
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And then there's the damn Dutch
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Here are the most terrifying St. Patrick's Day foods you can eat this weekend. Makes the Shamrock Shake look delicious
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Drama over pizza that has nothing to do with the endless New York vs Chicago fracas. "Italians are furious about this Michelin-starred chef's pizza"
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DeAndre Harris, brutally beaten at far-right Charlottesville rally, acquitted of assaulting white supremacist with flashlight
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Photoshop Mata Hari
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Hiker sues California to recognize Sasquatch after state tells her what she saw was a bear
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Giant yellow duck goes missing off the coast of Australia. Ernie and Bert sought for questioning
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After eating Chipotle for 500 days, Ohio man says he's ready for something new ... like a new lower GI tract
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Pro tip: If you're pulled over by the police, producing Homer Simpson's driver's license is not likely to fool anyone - especially if you're a woman
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Still desperate for attention, some Millennials are replacing engagement rings with diamonds embedded in their fingers because, hey, attention
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Today on "Where are they now?", we have 1998 lottery winner James "I'm not going to blow the money" Hayes
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It's always a bad idea to take your work home with you. More so when your work involves C-4
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You won't want to go skiing again after seeing this horrific video of a ski lift malfunctioning. Thankfully no one was seriously hurt
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Malaysian man who described himself as a "snake whisperer" dies after getting ... and we're pretty sure you can figure out the rest of the headline
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Southwest Airlines is under fire after a father and his toddler were forced off a flight because the young girl had been momentarily scared. Well at least they didn't put her in the overhead bin
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One of the busiest drawbridges in America got stuck right before rush hour. It didn't go well
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A man got a weird voicemail in military code and when he cracked it, things got really strange
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12-year-old boy takes 75 mile interstate joy ride -- and the local sheriff thinks that's "very impressive"
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Do you have any sudden epiphanies in the shower? There's a name for that - "Shower Thoughts". Here are 25 good ones
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You can't just go and plan a sex festival without making adequate preparations for parking
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Amateur backyard blacksmithing goes about as well as drunken, turkey deep-frying on a home-made deck attached to a trailer in Florida
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Romanian man is declared legally dead, and denied an appeal. Unfortunately, the story behind it is less Bram Stoker and more Mel Brooks
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"Minority Report: New Orleans" is no longer in production. Apparently the script was not believable
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The Beast from the East is back, and it's pissed off
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"Pointed stick? Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh?"
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Things suck all over right now, so here's video of a baby penguin taking its first swim at the Tulsa Zoo
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Photoshop this cheerleader
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How to make a Lucky Charms Pie for St. Patrick's day. Now where's me lucky insulin?
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Engineering firm that designed collapsed FIU bridge also designed one in Virginia that collapsed during construction. Whoops
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Crispy bacon lovers, you've been cooking your bacon wrong this whole time. You need to add water
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Man goes on rampage, destroys police department lobby, forgets to say 'I'll be back'
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If you go rafting in New Mexico, you might want to avoid the barbed wire strung across the stream that someone is trying to claim as private property. And this isn't just happening in one place, but all over the state
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Navy: E/A-18 Growler loses environmental control, plunging cockpit temperature to -30F and icing over windshield. Pilot manages to fly for 60 miles and land by using GPS on wristwatch. Why yes, the Navy did neglect to tell Congress
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So, who's up for having Korean boy foreskins microneedled into your face? Okay people, let's not always see the same hands (possible NSFW content on page)
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Have you ever been driving behind a car carrier and wondered what would happen if one fell off?
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Step 1: get drunk. Step 2: fall on a goat. Step 3: attack nephew. Step 4: get arrested
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The latest culinary atrocity? Pineapple kimchi
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Hillary Clinton broke her wrist from a fall in a bathtub in India. This "why I lost" publicity tour is really convincing
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Facebook begins building "world's least functional" bridge. Too late guys, we actually found it earlier today
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| Thu March 15, 2018 |
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U.S. military helicopter crashes in Iraq with seven aboard. No indication of whether it was shot down
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"Anyone who drinks our house beer must hand over his shoe"
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Tucker Carlson links immigration to infertility in white men
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Waitress seems to think IHOP stands for "I Hate Off-white People"
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Even luggage is trying to get out of United Airlines flights
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Photoshop this frigid fishing fool
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Don't tase yourself, bro
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Yeah, we all like to go RVing but the edge of an overpass probably isn't the best place to do it
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| (Some Food Nut) |
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Fark Food Thread: Do you have a favorite German concoction you like to make or wish you had a recipe for? Not saying this is a beer thread.. but we can't rule it out
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To all those Farkers who still have Pound Puppies, Care Bears, or Cabbage Patch kids, this new study may make you feel more normal
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Photoshop this NASA tomato scientist
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Battle of the Bulge survivor fished with presidents and even had an Anthrax strain named after him. Lefty finally gives his last cast
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Old and busted: indoor gun ranges. New hotness: indoor axe throwing ranges
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Now is not the time to talk about bridge control
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Baby Jesus missing for nearly a century suddenly appears on NJ church doorstep via mail package. Church people call the cops
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Like rubbing salt in a wound, Airbnb renter causing over $18K in damages gives homeowner only a 3-star rating
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Man arrested for having a grow operation of biblical proportions
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A March Madness Bracket Fark can get behind: Vote for best craft beer brewery
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Criminal mastermind robs Golden Corral, then walks across street to rob the Barnes and Noble, because, hey, why not?
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Sweden has no shortage of unsettling foods. Even their candy is terrible. Take a look inside Sweden's bizarre obsession with salty licorice
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If you see a body in a pond, call 911. DON'T Take a picture of it and post it to Facebook and hope it'll go viral and the cops will find out that way
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Passengers use CPR, AED to bring man back from the dead on Spirit Airlines flight, your number one choice in resurrections
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Smoke 'em if you got 'em ... while you got 'em
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Always secure your cargo before taking off. Especially if your cargo is $350+ million worth of gems and gold
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135 amazing facts for amazing people (that is amazingly not a slideshow). Amazing
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Shiat's on fire, y'all ... Texas edition
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Subby's pretty certain spaghetti sauce isn't arsonists' first choice of accelerant to start house fires
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Sure exercise is key to lasting good health, but so are chips and beer according to this 100-year-old woman
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Man who claimed to have cremated Natalie Holloway killed by woman he was attempting to kidnap. At least we know his burial preferences
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Google Maps Street View discovers the gate to hell, end of the world (possible nsfw content on page)
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Like bottled water? It could be contaminated. Have a nice day
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| (Some \m/-.-\m/) |
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"According to medical experts, the exposure to this heavy metal might cause long-lasting adverse effects, including mental decline, loss of balance, memory, and bodily control". Positive effects include, leather, chains, and banging your head
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British parents fined £24m for failing to send their kids to school. And you thought raising your brats was expensive
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"Grandma Stinker" charged with drug dealing after receiving marijuana shipment from son. Mugshot checks out
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15 sewing machines stolen during burglary. Police say they should have this sewn up in no time, even though it isn't technically their patch. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry
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Photoshop this invader from another galaxy
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If you flew through Newark or Memphis on Monday we have some more bad news for you
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Help wanted: street sign proofreader needed in Phoenix
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Jail inmate nearly Die Hards his way to freedom
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Stephen Hawking forced the global community to think about ALS because that's just how he rolled
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If injecting my daddy with heroin because he was so drunk he couldn't do it himself and asked me to do it for him is wrong, I don't want to be right
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ICE Capades end in tragedy
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| (Some Guy) |
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Streetsboro gun thief pleads guilty to having the most interesting hairstyle you'll see today
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Living the dream: sled dogs with no musher loose on Alaskan highway
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♪ Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain. And kills you ♪
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Sister of Dylann Roof arrested for carrying a weapon in school on the day of national walkout. What a Mor(g)an
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Woman attacks boyfriend with samurai sword after suspecting him of infidelity due to his a) habit of staying out too late, b) having too many lunches with his work wife, c) video game training regimen
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If you're going to admit kicking your dog 5 times for 'chewing too loudly', you probably shouldn't do it on "Fox and Friends". Isn't that right, Tomi Lahren?
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Slowly, I began to realize that when white people are alone, they give things to each other for free
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Fark-ready headline needing no changes - "Beaver County Sees Uptick In STD Numbers"
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This is what happens when city planners don't respect the OCD
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Menorahs recalled due to fire hazard
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 671: "Up & Down 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed March 14, 2018 |
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Queen Elizabeth has a speech ready for World War III (possible nsfw content on page)
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School stops student protest today. By locking everyone inside
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White nationalists, trailer parks, bizarre familial relations, WalMart... this story is white trash bingo
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Photoshop this downward path
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Hello, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Wrongways Airlines. We'll be going to a city you didn't want to go to
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Fourth century Egyptians were apparently insufferable about bitter beers just like today's hipsters
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And now for something else completely different: The best use of Bee Gees' "Staying Alive" you will see today
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And now for something completely different: Turn the volume up and enjoy this hilarious parrot stomping around the room
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Florida man attacks another with a tennis ball launcher. Not not that kind, the other kind
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Photoshop this well um, unique outfit
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Woman to landfill: Please help, I accidentally threw away three diamond rings and a bracelet. They're in a black bag. Landfill: Challenge accepted
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$104,000 meat heist leads to major international trafficking ring ... also, $104,000 meat heist
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This article gives the song 'I am my own Grandpa' a real run for its money, except it's real
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Some husbands give traditional gift of silver plate on 23rd wedding anniversaries. This husband gave wife his kidney on silver platter instead
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New study claims pizza is a bigger motivator than cash and can make people more productive at work - because, hey, free pizza
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London's roughest McDonald's' tries to cut down on anti-social behavior by: A) Hiring more security, B) Closing earlier, or C) Turning off the free WiFi and playing classical music
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This is what leadership REALLY looks like
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In Canada, a good man with a hockey stick beats a bad man with a screwdriver
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Police search for couple accused of stealing $20K worth of vitamins. Strange theft trifecta complete
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Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
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NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES: Please hang up the video conferencing system before having sex on the conference table. Thank you (NSFW)
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March 14, 3/14, 3.14, means it's National Pi Day. Here are the eighteen best deals you can get on pizza pie and dessert pie because it's Pi Day it's Pi Day, gonna get down on Pi Day partyin' partyin' yeah
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United Airlines: How can we make people forget about the whole putting a dog in the overhead bin fiasco?
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Federal employees who "telework" are happier than their office-bound counterparts. Well, getting paid to lie on a couch all day while binging on Netflix and chocolate will do that for a person
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| (Some Gal) |
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"A drag queen dressed as Elsa just single-handedly freed a stuck police wagon from a blizzard in the middle of March. If that sentence doesn't perfectly encapsulate the spirit of Boston, I don't know what does"
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$75,000 worth of titanium medical screws were stolen from SUV parked in man's yard. Hope you weren't planning on having your sternum repaired after open-heart surgery in Memphis today. Theft of crazy-priced items trifecta in play
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Portland issues Uber a $3.5 million ticket plus six points on their license
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How to avoid a white-knuckle drive on black ice, aside from staying home an extra hour or two and wait for the roads to be treated
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Apparently there is something called a 'Yeti cooler' and these criminal masterminds were caught stealing 52 of them worth ... wait for it ... more than $16,000?
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Public warned not to approach missing UK woman as she has a "contagious condition," say the doctors at General Hospital. No word on evil twins or polyamorous marital status
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Photoshop this soon-to-be-extinct automobile
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Mama dog left at Humane Society reunited with puppies. It's your Eastern Kentucky 'my it's dusty in here' Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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Celebrate Pi Day (3/14) by posting pictures of your favorite pies (pizza included)
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Freestyle dog dancing is a real thing. Your dog wants a headband and leg warmers
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Skiing, saunas and Santa Claus ...what more do you need to be the world's happiest country?
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'Milwaukee has one of the highest STD rates of any city' Well what did you expect from a city with that much sausage?
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"Welcome to the firearms safety class. Now before we start, let's go over the most important thing you need to remember: When handling any firearm, you must always first make sure that it is not ... *BLAM* ... oh, sorry"
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Latest from the Phuket Gazette: Naked woman hugs giant phallic-shaped rock haunted by the spirit of an old man. Daddy?
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OJ Simpson finally identifies the real killer
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Someone at Disney remembers the old billboards on I-95 that read "Seabrook, NH nuclear power station: no escape" so at least somebody did
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Virgin Trains offers discount to a) senior citizens b) children 12 and under or c) a subset of millennials who have avocados
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| Tue March 13, 2018 |
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Stephen Hawking passes away at 76, will join Gary Gygax in the afterlife for a game of Dungeons & Dragons
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Couple found passed out in truck at gas pump, with meth, oxy and 3-year-old toddler in cab. No word on whether the child was in a car seat
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Fark NotNewsletter: You down with DST?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this colorful blob
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Teacher sets off fire alarm. Student posts 'active shooter' on Snapchat. Hilarity ensues (not really)
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Stealing 24 Macs worth £22k and selling them for £200/each to fund your drug habit is one way to live your life, especially if you're an IT techie and your name is Lawless
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| (Some Guy) |
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United Airlines: "I know how to get people to stop talking about charging $9 for the overhead bin. Let's kill someone's dog"
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If you're going to falsely claim £38,000 in disability benefits, it's probably best not to run marathons under a false name. Especially when you're the type of person who *ahem* stands out in a crowd
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After 38 years in prison, you'd think a guy would have learned something, This guy learned he'd rather be in jail than homeless
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Time traveler from the year 4000 claims he is 132 years old but looks 25 because he was injected with health since birth... wait, what?
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Photoshop this dogwalking couple someplace more interesting
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Problem: It will cost $8K a year to to replace filters in water fountains with dangerous lead levels in Nashville schools. Solution: Secretly bypass the filters so they never need changing, then disable the warning lights
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Monster fish washes up on Australian beach, baffling locals
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Turkish forces surround Afrin in Syria operation. This is nothing to sniff at
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FARC performs poorly in electoral test, as voters were only able to choose between "smart" and "funny" candidates
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Look we've all got our kinks, and far be it for us to judge, but if you DO have a hot date that's going to involve condoms and oatmeal, maybe you BUY it rather than shoplifting it from the Walmart where you are working in "loss prevention", Officer
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Daily News finally notices, 20 years after everybody else, that New York City's ticket cameras are for revenue rather than safety
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Police officer of the year negligently fires his gun while in a school. This of course would never happen if trained teachers were armed
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British brewery creates special beer for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding: Windsor Knot - perfect for when you want to tie one on
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Fayetteville Observer publishes the most Romeroesque headline ever
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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my bus driver, not screaming and yelling like the passengers as the bus careens into a ravine
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New Jersey escaped prisoner evades capture for 23 years, then gets caught in...Florida
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Florida Man steals peacock, gets chased by angry birds. Green pigs unavailable for comment
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Boaty McBoatface successfully completes her maiden under-ice voyage. Who's a good little Boaty? You're a good little Boaty
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New Mexico's new chile license plate wins national award in artistic design, Scoville scale pungency
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Her Royal Majesty, the California Weed Czar, has grown displeased with weedmaps allowing unlicensed retailers to weedvertise... Weed is not amused
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This just in: Your kids are just like you were during spring break
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Neurosurgeon wrecks Ferrari, demands payout of almost $1 million because his "sense of dignity" was damaged. That's using your brain for a bold idea
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Pro-tip: When you are burglarizing a place, do not drink anything and leave it behind at the scene. Wait, on second thought, go right ahead. Also, touch everything with your bare hands and be sure to leave your wallet at the scene, too
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Trump pays Tillerson the ultimate compliment
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You're not helping: Moran arrested for threatening to shoot up anti-gun rally
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Duke University porn actress now studying to become a lawyer. Her parents must be so ashamed right now
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Photoshop this cowded street
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Sheriff warns against trespassing near border wall prototypes. Um, shouldn't that be part of the testing?
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People of New Orleans: Now you can swap out all your Mardi Gras beads for free doughnuts at a local Krispy Kreme. No questions asked about how you amassed your stockpile
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Student sues university over "Mickey Mouse" degree. She actually wanted the Donald Duck degree
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National Geographic admits to its racist past
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Congratulations, grandson - you win the Charles Manson corpse lottery
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Conductor at the Metropolitan Opera fired for a pattern of angrily waving his baton at people
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Lifehack: How to poop when you're traveling
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Don't voluntarily let cops into your home when it reeks of pot and there are a number of visible electrical extension cords leading into the closet where you're growing weed
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If you see a cockroach in the lobby of your apartment building, you could squish it, ignore it, or inform management. But don't try to kill it by setting it on fire
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The world needs ditch diggers, too, but ditch diggers need retaining walls
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Despite what the big brown doey eyes of the therapy peacock tell you, it's time to ban emotional support animals
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Something old. Something new. Something borrowed. Someone blew over the legal limit on the way to her own wedding
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News: Baltimore man murdered Saturday. FARK: While driving in a funeral procession
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God busy auditing the accounts from the Bookkeeper of Auschwitz
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| Mon March 12, 2018 |
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Minnesota considers raising minimum age to 21 for A: Rifle purchases, B: Cigarettes, or C: Sleeping with teachers
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"We have investigated ourselves and cleared ourselves of any wrongdoing"
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Good Friday to be Better Friday in Ireland for the first time in 90 years after pubs will be allowed to stay open late
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Paul's Memory Bank returns tonight at 8PM EDT. Begins with a playlist heard at a local seafood restaurant. We then follow up on the last live show of "love" songs with songs about cheating and lies. Most songs have variation of lie in the title
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Photoshop these unnerving agents
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Finally, Detroit can be put to good use
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84-year-old Irishman found to be missing a large chunk of his frontal cortex. Surprisingly, alcohol not involved
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You know how many cars are burning in Oregon right now? A lot (LGT live video feed)
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| (Some Romulan Ale) |
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Aussie Brewing Co will award you a "space beer party" in the "Vomit Comet" if you write an essay & donate $90 to their IndieGoGo
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2018's Happiest Cities in America list. Data and results to the left, why your city sucks discussion to the right
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| (SoraNews24) |
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On today's "Weird or Cool from Japan": You know those companies that supposedly turn photos into oil painting? Let me introduce you to the work of Yasutomo Oka
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Photoshop this crowded street
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Kate Middleton gives Britain the finger
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Top court settles burning question, "what is dog" and is she a good girl
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Australian animals either kill you viciously or make you go DAWWWW
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UK PM confirms it is "Highly likely" Russia was behind the attempted killing of ex-spy and his daughter
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I knew I should have taken that emergency landing at Albuquerque
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Text asking for comments on her dress goes to the wrong person. He and family respond with a photo of six thumbs up. Leads to #gofundme page for their boy with Leukemia. Confused? You won't be after this week's episode of Awww
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If you receive a package in Austin, don't open it
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It's horrible that landlords use flimsy excuses to keep sex offenders from renting says guy who used flimsy excuses to keep from renting to families with kids. But sex offenders always paid on time, so financially it makes sense
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Leave it to the French to have an issue with this name
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Giant Panda breeding program suspended after lack of success. Zoo officials said they wanted to make "some enhancements to our giant panda enclosure" before attempting future breeding. Keepers last seen purchasing lava lamps & Barry White CDs
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♫ I wanna be ... your sledgehammer ♫
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NYC parking garage worker accidentally runs over $85,000 violin, tells sobbing little girl he'll get her the world's teeniest one to replace it
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Today's Most British News is brought to you from Cornwall, where a National Trust staff member has been reprimanded and marched back to Devon for putting jam on top of the cream on a scone
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Nothing to see here, just a Saudi citizen in the country illegally with a bump-stocked rifle and tripod in a hotel room overlooking the location of a Woman's March
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You could say his career's gone •_•) ( •_•)⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) up in smoke
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Here's to you, innovative child care provider. Because who among us hasn't wanted to drug the children and go off for a little tanning and crossfit?
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Female duo accused of $11,000 Victoria's Secret bra heist. No word on which one of them got the third bra
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Today on 'America's Dumbest Criminals', we feature a guy trying to steal a gumball machine at an animal shelter. Hilarity ensues
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Barcokelona
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Floyd Carter Sr., one of the remaining Tuskegee Airmen who received the Medal of Honor and also flew during the Korean and Vietnam wars has died. He also served in the NYPD for 27 years. Godspeed sir
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Missouri is America's hot new destination wedding spot -- for 15-year-olds
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Photoshop this Tiger in the woods
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Today in "IT'S IN YOUR HOME AND IT WILL KILL YOU" news: birdfeeders
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In a textbook example of irony, University finds a significant number of students cheated in a "law and ethics class"
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Sooooooo ... how you doin'?
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♫ That's why I'm going to Katmandu...off the runway where I'm going to ♫
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A Waffle House waitress's act of kindness while working to save for college leads to her being recognized as just the type of person who is deserving of a scholarship
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It's okay, we'll get 'em in the second national vote
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| (Some Guy) |
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Surgeons in India use severed leg of patient as a pillow to prop him up. Ain't that a kick in the head?
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Confessions of an ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lover) (possible nsfw content on page)
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News: Illegal Mexican hides from ICE for 6 years Not news: By getting a job Fark: With Border Patrol
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