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Sun February 11, 2018
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Southwest flights out of Chicago are temporarily put on ice
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News Enterprise)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one before: Woman leads police on a high speed chase because she is on her way to pick up baby Jesus and has authority from God
source: thenewsenterprise.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
City officials discover that legalizing marijuana could lead to people gathering to smoke marijuana, ask state to close "loophole"
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
We've trashed the oceans, so let's start throwing shiat into space
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Aetna: Eeny-meeny-miny-mo, who gets coverage? We don't know
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
And now plastic surgeons are trying to figure out the mystery behind Trump's hair
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this thunder cat
source: ngm.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
Video
 
Patient thief demonstrates why bicyclists shouldn't lock up to street signs
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
You do know that oyster farming involves more that just tickling an oyster on its underside and milking it for its pearl?
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Baked apple and salted caramel gin? Stop it, just stop it. NOW
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Hey, son, remember the time I slipped that dildo and lube into your carry-on bag before we went through airport security? That was hilarious, wasn't it? Son? (some not safe for work images on site)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I bless the rains down in Africa
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Build a better mouse trap
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Church places $735 takeout order, tips $0. Server posts about it on social media. Restaurant refunds full $735 to church, fires the server, of course
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
'70s Granddad clothing now re-purposed and re-energized as "Counterfashion"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
"What, me worry?" Maybe it's time to start, Alfred E
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Green Bay Press Gazette)
 
 
 
Man enters church, sits down at the piano, lights a cigarette. Then the story gets weird
source: greenbaypressgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Hydroelectric dam project in Turkey's Batman Province threatens 12,000-year-old archaeological site of Hasankeyf. In other news, Batman has his own province in Turkey
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
If you ever wanted to pay your taxes with fake money, you may soon get your chance in Arizona
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you're a NYPD cop texting a friend about drinking and driving on the job .. make sure their phone is not wiretapped. Detective knowledge: 101
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It's almost as if building a fence won't keep determined people from crossing over
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
So what is Chinese New Year? Why is it not in January? What can we learn about the year of the dog? And more
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this orchidous orange
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Sneaking in
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Turns out those mop-headed lads from Liverpool were wrong; money can in fact by you love
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russian passenger plane goes down outside of Moscow. 71 people on board all presumed to have perished (developing story)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPRI Rhode Island)
 
 
 
Police seize 185 pounds of vacuum-sealed marijuana. All 85 pounds are being kept at the state police barracks until the suspect can be arraigned for the 8.5 pounds of the substance
source: wpri.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Your iPhone falls in the toilet? Let it go man. It's gone
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Clicking "like" on the wrong tweet immediately ends 30-year career of esteemed Connecticut high school principal
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY1)
 
 
 
In news that should shock nobody, residents on so-called 'Billionaire Row' reject a proposed plan that would help the less fortunate
source: ny1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Topeka Capital-Journal)
 
 
 
Wichita boy getting a lot of cabbage for a big cabbage? It's Cole's Law
source: cjonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The idyllic vacation town of Bay View Michigan is facing a court challenge to their stated policy of only allowing practicing Christians to become home owners
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Let's ban porn." LET'S BURN THE HERETIC
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
It's an American tradition to punch a nazi, racist, bigoted piece of shiat
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
California will pay for drug users to test their dope
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
How not to be a jerk when you are dining with a deaf person
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"We here at Oxfam admit we should have made our orgy sex scandal in Haiti public"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 10, 2018
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
At least three dead and others missing following helicopter crash in the Grand Canyon
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Parents outraged after Catholic school fires recently married lesbian teacher
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
I want to be weave
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
"How a kid cartoonist avoided Scholastic's digital sharecropping trap"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Candlelight vigil is held in Minneapolis neighborhood after A) tragic death of local hero B) hate crimes were committed C) beloved Arby's sign removed after restaurant goes out of business
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman admits to teasing her dog
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
I can understand walking out of a random college class because the professor repeatedly uses the n-word but when it's a class specifically about hate speech, you're just being a snowflake
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Subby said all of this days ago on Fark.com. CNN, wake the Fark Up. Too slow for Fark
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Phoroshop this bear
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Federal Railroad Administration's acting chief resigned immediately after it was revealed he's been working PR for a county sheriff in Mississippi
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Girl faces expulsion from school for: a) bad grades, b) smoking drugs on campus, or c) having a Planned Parenthood sticker on her computer
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Don't you even Science?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
10th Circuit upholds class action suit against private prison company alleging use of illegal immigrant workers
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Weeners
 
"...my grasp on what I thought I knew about humanity slipped further and further away"
source: foodandwine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Reminder: Your car will depreciate rapidly the moment it leaves the Earth's atmosphere
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Why is the price of vinyl albums at a record high? We're looking at you, hipsters
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You need to up your brunch game, son
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ACLU)
 
 
 
U.S. Immigration Services to woman that's been here since she was 3: Come on in. Let's start the process of making you a citizen. - Woman: Okay - ICE: Yoink
source: aclu.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop these floaters
source: fm.cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Who is teaching our kids? Walmart greeters
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Author of "Why I use phrases like 'tobacco leaf,' 'black fruit' and 'jammy' to describe wine," fails to self-describe as pretentious putz
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Just another day in Fark's favorite state (with video)
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
$85,000 salary? Do not move here
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
I-20 in Georgia snarled by traffic yam
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Traffic lights go out across NYC in citywide malfunction. Good thing New Yorkers ignore them anyway
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
There is one thing you should never do at a roundabout. The words will make you out 'n' out; I spend the day your way, call it morning driving through the sound and in and out the valley (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider Singapore)
 
 
 
Well that explains why it was so popular
source: businessinsider.sg   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
That "Australia isn't a country" professor will now have more time to spend with her atlas and globe
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
THIS is why the Oxford Comma is so damn important, people. Kennedy, Stalin, and the strippers unavailable for comment
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Stop popping ibuprofen like it's candy, America. Seriously, this is just getting stupid
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Author tries to revive lost art of the old-fashioned love letter, offers Britons 14 tips for putting your feelings on paper beyond "Oi let's snog, I've got heartburn"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider Singapore)
 
 
 
Staying single is probably not a problem for most of you basement dwellers, and the best part according to science is that it's actually better for you
source: businessinsider.sg   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
This is your captain speaking. We have just landed in Abuja where it's a sunny day with temperatures of around 26° C. Although it may not feel that warm due the the door that just fell off the aircraft
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
UW-Madison outs a student by photo for being a dumbass, asks students to dress appropriately for the weather
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this onion
source: crankingkitchen.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Haaretz)
 
 
 
Not to alarm anyone but we may be seeing an Iran-Israel conflict erupting right now in Syria. Yahtzee
source: haaretz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A man transformed his home into a cat sanctuary, welcoming around 300 felines over the past 12 years to help him cope with the grief of losing his son. Based on the pictures in the article, it looks like the cats are living the good life on Caturday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
Woman wins lawsuit over penis cake. Cake
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Mr. French, of Fairy Street, was sentenced to jail for sexual assault and ridiculous hair
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Japanese public school to allow male students to wear skirts ... although no patent leather shoes
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Europeans who hate free healthcare, free college, and long vacations are flocking to America
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Mike Pence believes a sporting event is an appropriate place for political protest
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
DHS says it deported one immigrant 44 times in 15 years. Another eight or ten times and that person will no doubt finally learn their lesson
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Mice of Anarchy
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. Cloud Times)
 
 
 
Man steals car outside Minnesota Walmart, calls owner for help in starting it
source: sctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Christ, what an asshole
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Claim: "Locks of Love" operates illicit wig syndicate dedicated to profiteering off your donated hair at expense of cancer-stricken children. Fact: 80% of your donated hair is unusable for wigs and has to be sold
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 09, 2018
(AP News)
 
 
 
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You're an off-duty corrections officer and you've just been involved in a fender bender. The most rational response to this situation would be to C) pull out your service revolver and shoot at the other vehicle's tire
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
This is how you Sonic
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
"Robot fire penis" was going to be the name for subby's new flame throwing cover band, but the Winter Olympics 2018 flame lighting ceremony may have made that a limp issue (Some NSFW content on page)
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Paul and Ringo captured in Syria
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"A little girl went home to her mum and said 'we saw people humping at school today, it was really funny'"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
CDC reports current flu outbreak breaks all records. Everybody PANDEMIC
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
South Korean security breaks up meeting between Kim and Trump on the eve of the Olympics
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
When it's not burning or being buried under mud, California is having its roads, levees and wetlands destroyed by invasive 20-pound rodents
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman who is not like the others
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
"Pop It Pal" is A) a pop-music player on a USB stick, B) a Paypal program for cryptocurrencies, C) a toy that lets you squeeze out artificial pimples
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Parents left children unattended to smoke marijuana in basement
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
A Colorado couple with no sailing experience sold everything and bought a boat to see the world. They made it 30 miles before the boat sank, leaving them with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a few mocking comments on Fark.com
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
'The nuclear security office was automatically alerted when two scientists tried hooking the supercomputer up to the internet, in order to mine bitcoins', proving even nuclear physicists can be dumbasses
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
The expected courtroom fireworks in the Silicon Valley "trial of the century" Between Uber and Waymo end up being more like a damp sparkler as Uber throws a quarter-billion dollars at Google to make it go away
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
You can have this baby for 9 low payments of $999.99
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Adult summer camp is a thing, and, yes, you're still going to go and spend the first three days crying and calling your parents because you want to go home
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Altoona Mirror)
 
 
 
Man gives keys to friend "to go to Club Coconuts to pick up strippers for a party," accuses him of stealing car, but handed them to him in a bar with a security camera running. Also, got him popped for DUI for the cherry on top. Some friend
source: altoonamirror.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Want to buy a 'brand new' Subaru from the 1980s? A showroom full of them has just opened up in Malta (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
"Sorry I made kale cool"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Let a box of Cap'n Crunch go stale? That's a beatin'
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this near perfect pattern distribution
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Man accused of stealing bongo drums pleads guilty to throwing a shotgun into a pond. Your move, Florida
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
New higher-speed passenger train hits 4th person in a month. At this rate we'll never be able to talk about train control. Fark: He survived
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eat Sip Trip)
 
 
 
California may start requiring a cancer warnings to be placed on coffee cups. A little bit of an overreaction or a whole lot of an overreaction?
source: eatsiptrip.10best.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
That's no moon
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Prominent #metoo supporter accused of fondling softballs at a game
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Here's a good idea: let's replace the driver's license with an app because everyone wants to hand over their unlocked phone to a police officer
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Americans, especially young Americans, are having much less sex than just a decade ago. And the rate is dropping faster every year. Why? "Too much Netflix, not enough chill"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
It's time we compiled a list of the most Canadian crimes ever
source: regina.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Sometimes mainstream media does the headline work for us: "Ont. teacher accused of sex with student made 'learning fun'"
source: canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Customer: This chicken is rubbery. Chef: *smoke bomb*
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
$7 million Scottsdale mansion to be auctioned online. No minimum bid, maybe your $5 will take this six bedroom, eleven bathroom home
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Polygraph test reveals incredibly rare creatures thought to be a myth: Honest Fishermen
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
You may not know that there is a Guinness World Record for most sets of twins and/or triplets in a high school class, but the sophomore class at New Trier HS in suburban Chicago just set it with 44 sets of twins and 1 set of triplets
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Professor gives student a failing grade on a paper comparing America and Australia, because Australia is a continent, not a country, and also it's the place where Hitler was born
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Fake homeowners association files real liens on neighborhood homes after fake bills go unpaid. Bonus, 'HOA' is a company being run out of a federal prison cell
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Lollipop man banned for high-fives. Man, those guild rules are strict
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
First human eggs grown in laboratory. Scientists nervous, afraid their research will be poached
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Oh, Fark. Yet another parenting advice article giving out...good information? We are truly in the darkest timeline. Because I used Purple
source: offspring.lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Happy National Pizza Day. Here are the best deals nationwide to celebrate the greatest of all foods known to mankind. And nothing beats a delicious cheese pizza
source: theknow.denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
At the end of the day Americans could eat healthier. They just don't want to
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Harsh winter can't stop Iowa's running man, who has run at least a mile a day since January 1st 1977 and will outlive every Farker reading this
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
The old yellow marshmallow is leaving
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Utah mom upset after school tells 6th graders they can't refuse when asked to dance. "My daughter keeps coming to me and saying, 'I can't say no to a boy'. That's the message kids are getting"
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these good boys
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
A tender love story of two vets who met 25 years ago, fell in love, and got married in the veterans home. If you're reading this on Fark, you know there's a twist
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Ginza public school pressures students to buy new $730 Armani uniforms, which parents suspect is excessive despite the suave Italian tailoring
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
There are other problems with trying to police which bathroom trans people use aside from it just being none of your damned business
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The Asian financial markets took a nice dump
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"Expect more serious convictions and indictments early in 2018 as Special Counsel climbs ladder of criminal culpability - and more panicky, preemptive attacks from Republicans." Well don't hold back there Mr. Blumenthal
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Let Bourbon Street be Bourbon Street. Not Sesame Street or Disneyland's Main Street, USA
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The last time DC held a military parade, it was an unmitigated disaster
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
A sobering statistic from Puerto Rico as 257 residents committed suicide in 2017 post-Hurricane Maria
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Rob Porter, Michael Flynn, Andrew Puzder, Mark Green, Tom Marino, Sam Clovis, Daniel Alan Craig, Rev. Jamie Johnson, Carl Higbie, Kathleen Hartnett White, Monica Crowley. Extreme vetting needs some work
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
YOUR REQUEST IS DENIED, "Comrade"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
"I did what any normal stoner would do in this situation: I drank the lube"
source: broadly.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Blind bisexual goose stuck in love triangle with two swans dies aged 40
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 08, 2018
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby tapir created by mad alchemists at Minnesota Zoo (w/ video)
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Weather storm Mateo to destroy all life in Chicago. Stay safe, warm, and drunk, Chicago-area Farkers
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Oh, you're into LARPing, you say? No, my friend. THESE people are into LARPing
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
♫ Bermuda, Bahama, no more marriage for two mamas ♫
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Lottery winners' frozen assets yield cold, hard cash
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Thank you for your service, now GTFO
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"Be like that pal, we'll just take your naked ass right back to Alaska"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop who's missing from this golfing group
source: i2.wp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
Oh, the huge sum of money
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
University Libraries: Hey, we need to get rid our books that people no longer check out. Faculty and students: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Scotland tackles its alcohol problem by outlawing cheap booze. It's is a move that's enough to drive a Scotsman to drink
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Facing a 20-year mandatory minimum? Delay with pre-trial motions for 7 years, then complain the delay violated your rights. Fark: it worked
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
We've all been there, when the airline won't allow your "emotional support hamster" on the flight so you logically flush it down the toilet instead
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Compared to American kids, German kids have far more freedom to explore, be independent, learn from mistakes, annex the Sudetenland
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
#poowatch
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Moneyish.com)
 
 
 
Too many people engage in this disgusting bedtime habit. Why yes, you got it right on the first try
source: moneyish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Starbucks now offering Caramel Macchiato Vampirino Latte
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida man allowed to keep $4M of the $22M in cash police confiscated from him, possibly because that's all that made it back to the evidence lockers
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
"For sale: Red-nosed, polka-dotted clown car." Surprisingly this isn't the subject line of your mom's adult section craigslist ad
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Man arrested for selling wife's kidney, which she didn't know was missing. How does that work exactly? "Honey look over there" "What?" *yoink* "Never mind"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maxim Magazine)
 
 
 
Time to panic, lime sales are going to get hit very hard
source: maxim.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Andy and his odd socks
source: andyandtheoddsocks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
After scammers victimized his dementia-ridden grandmother, a man takes to Twitch to give the scammers a well-deserved dose of their own medicine
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Colorado snowpack at near-record lows. No doubt due to all that heat generated by legal pot smokers
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man arrested for putting poison in Yum Yum Sauce, after surveillance video proved that the sauce was a lye
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
No need to panic. It's just another one of those pesky market corrections
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Some women celebrate their pregnancy by sharing it with their family, some just jump into a bathtub full of Cheetos
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVO Kirksville)
 
 
 
Someone in Mexico tried to mail a tiger cub. With helpful picture of a full-grown tiger
source: ktvo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Pricipal . Caught sayof school that has sex pics on ipads " See, didn't tell law enforcement so" Is She professionally dead or not. NY Post Says yes. Six year olds looking for chads -OR- "hello, I am write single to salute and wait for answer again"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Truro Daily)
 
 
 
Manhunt underway for murderer who escaped from prison. And by "escaped" we mean "strolled out" and by "from prison" we mean "of his un-fenced, unlocked, minimum-security condo"
source: trurodaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Ohio: Woman charged with menacing after argument over hot dog ingredients
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You can make fun of Trump, Congress or even our National Weight problem. You do NOT get to claim you have better beer. Unleash the nukes
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Today's "child gets stuck inside an arcade claw machine" story brought to you by Fark's favorite state
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
"That was the last thing I expected to see when I left my house this morning ... was to see someone wielding a sword in public, especially that size. It looked like a Samurai sword. Definitely surprising"
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Saveur)
 
 
 
How a poisonous and toxic plant become a staple on the American South's dinner plate
source: saveur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
From the Guardian, ground-breaking information that "news is bad for you, and giving up the news will make you a happier person"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
No word on who was holding his beer
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tuscaloosa News)
 
 
 
A teacher who was fired for having sex with a student is now challenging the law and says her firing was unconstitutional. Fark: She may technically be correct
source: tuscaloosanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Once upon a time, setting off a nuclear bomb was considered in order to mine for natural gas in Pennsylvania
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Couple keeps getting mysterious packages from Amazon in order to boost seller's ratings. *gasp* You mean there is such a thing as a fake review on Amazon??? I blame sugar-free gummi bears
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
"Never seen anybody hold onto (the hood of) a car like that in my life, but he was down for the ride. You can tell it wasn't his first rodeo"
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
People with red hair, curly hair, and no hair at all will finally get representation in the emoji universe. This message brought to you by one of the most respected business publications in the world
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
The People's Republic of Seattle comes up with a novel way to keep the unwanted and unwashed out of certain areas
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Lab that tests Tennessee drivers' blood for alcohol and drugs only gets paid if they say the driver was drunk. Some judges have a problem with that
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
The biggest winner in this week's SpaceX launch? Elon Musk. The biggest loser in this week's SpaceX launch? Flat-Earthers
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
That silly police sketch nailed the guy. New contest. How do you pronounce the perp's name?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The chefs for Norway's Olympic team mistakenly order 15,000 eggs instead of 1500. That's a lot of egg on their faces
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Think those hand dryers in public restrooms are clean and safe to use? Think again, prepare to have your mind blown with science (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: The 19th Century meets the 21st Century
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Legislator: Let's make caller ID spoofing illegal. How do you tell who's doing it. Check the ... oops didn't think that one through
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
There's a bipartisan 2-year spending deal in the Senate. It's up to the House or the President to prevent government from working like normal
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
This criminal is having a bad hair day
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Portland is using hawks to get rid of the city's crow population. And if Portland becomes infested with hawks, they'll send in Chinese needle snakes to eat the hawks, followed by snake-eating gorillas, which will freeze to death when winter comes
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
There's just not enough judges and not enough cops and not enough lawyers in the country to charge someone with a crime every time there's a toilet explosion inside a McDonald's
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
91-year-old woman boards the train at Norfolk, looks vaguely familiar
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHQ Spokane)
 
 
 
And today's Stupid Criminal of the Day Award goes to
source: khq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
EPA chief Scott Pruitt admits global warming may be real. Fark: He thinks it will be good for humanity
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Ex-boyfriend suspected in wanton act of hot sauce vandalism
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
There was no "attack" on the border patrol agent whose death Trump used to justify the wall
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
This is how you take care of your fellow citizens
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
"Hey, Geraldo Rivera ... SUCK IT"
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Man arrested in sting operation
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Driver arrested after traveling 237km/h east of Toronto, judge releases suspect based on how every American reading this headline is Googling just how fast 237km/h is
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Russian "contractors" attacked US military advisers and their partner forces in Syria
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Nation)
 
 
 
This just in: If you're white, you're racist. If you're white and you never do, say or think anything racist and you treat everyone equally and fairly--well, then you're super-duper racist because you're just avoiding your racism
source: thenation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Not this shiat again
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Who would have thunk it? A well thought out court ruling on a cake maker refusing on religious grounds to make a wedding celebration cake for a gay couple . FARK - In California
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 666: "Mark of the Beast". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 07, 2018
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
Grateful Dead lyricist, political activist and co-founder of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, John Perry Barlow has passed away
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Vegan activist defends saying farmers are like father rapers after confronting a couple of dairy farmers over the 'sexual abuse' of their livestock with artificial insemination
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Flat Earthers: "Fake Launch"
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: "Dentists warn against using charcoal for teeth whitening"
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Yes, Richard Pryor did have sex with Marlon Brando. You think Quincy Jones would lie?
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox News poll finds support for marijuana legalization at record high which is good news for everyone because if there's anyone who needs to chill the fark out it's Fox News viewers
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Naked, covered in Crisco, and trailing taser wires running through the snow is no way to go through life, son
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop this doggie dressed for winter
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Woman searching for author of box of WWII love letters she found, complete with lots of dust
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
You know that guy who's been missing for a year? You think maybe we should check his house or something? Nah, too obvious
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
New Hampshire is the only state that doesn't make you buckle up. Live free or die (in a fiery wreck)
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Missouri is just one of three states where texting and driving is still lega-(bump bump) LOL GOTTA GO SEE WHAT I JUST HIT
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Airline pilot goes sledding, which wouldn't be a problem except he took the plane with him
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
I want to believe this secret police audio that proves these fishermen were really abducted by 'lobster aliens'
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man's obituary first commemorates the "32 jars of Miracle Whip, 17 boxes of Hamburger Helper and multitudes of other random items that would prove helpful in the event of a zombie apocalypse"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Dammit to hell, that Roper kid from next door keeps trespassing on my property and riding my pony at night. Oops, did I say kid? I meant Roper the corgi dog
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
California deputies pull over... two hot air balloons. Order them back to work in the legislature
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Sheila)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dancer on the rocks
source: sydneyoperahouse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
We may have a new winner for the "Amateur Sketch" meme
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
San Francisco Birthday Fark Party, 2/7 at 6pm PT - come celebrate Drew's birthday
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"[Beets] could very well be the kale of the 21st century"
source: ngb.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
While it's pretty hard to get fired these days if you're a cop, get caught red-handed after robbing a bank WILL do it
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman with rare debilitating disease loses disability payments because she A) Used the payments for personal use? B) Lied on her application? or C) Has a degree?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Take three luxury supercars, add three amateur drivers, throw in an illegal race on a public road, and sit back and watch the devastation
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Memphis Commercial Appeal)
 
 
 
Memphis police find dead body in van a month after impounding it from a shooting
source: commercialappeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Should you be reasonably expected to tip the same 20 or 25 percent that you do on a $50 bottle of wine when you purchase a $500 or $1000 bottle of wine?
source: live.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
You might only have one job, but sometimes a little discretion is advised - like not issuing blood donor vehicles with parking tickets, for example
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGME Portland)
 
 
 
Portland declares citywide parking ban, vehicles left on streets after 10pm tonight will be towed at owner's expense. Take that, cagers
source: wgme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 3 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Las Vegas is really stepping up its game lately. NHL team, soon-to-be NFL team, MLS team, WNBA team and yes...even its own Serial Killer now
source: news3lv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Gaza is down to just ten days of emergency fuel. I told ya we should have put more than five bucks in
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Meet the criminal masterminds, Zachariah and Hezekiah, who got chased away from their own armed robbery by someone that wasn't even supposed to be there that day
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Dogs are beautiful, perfect and all of them are going to heaven but occasionally they'll turn on the stove while trying to get a leftover pancake and start a house fire (w/video)
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
Video
 
Stop feeding the deer. Especially stop feeding the deer french fries out your car window
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
New York lawmakers to Tide: Well, maybe if you didn't make your Tide Pods look so damn delicious, maybe kids wouldn't try and eat them
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Alabama man arrested in relation to viral child pornography video, four words that should never be arranged in that order
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The dad is a major dick for sure, but is it child abuse to force your kid to get a hair cut as a punishment?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Ivy League fraternity on probation for 'pig roast' sex contest. Yeah ... their parents must be very proud
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hangar 1 has introduced a new rosé-flavored vodka, which is "Millennial pink" and 80 proof
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Six people die while whale watching. Where is your pod now?
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Kansas State Trooper's video plea for idiotic drivers to speed up and realizing when merging on the interstate they are on an ACCELERATION LANE they should MOVE IT THE FARK ON has garnered international support
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snow Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lil' shoveler
source: futurelifenow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Proof that dogs are smarter than people: they replace Tide Pods with raw eggs. This is your Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
Boobies
 
Subby's mom's bra goes up for sale on eBay
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Woman sues former live-in boyfriend after he flew the coop ... when he won $6.1 million in the lottery
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudence: I work in the health care field. I am divorced now and my wife is the custodial guardian of our 15-year-old son, who wants a flu shot. She is an anti-vaxxer and dead set against it. Is there any legal recourse to stop her insanity?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
A woman who threw a cup of hot scalding water right at the face of her supervisor at the 595 truck stop in Davie after he accused her of stealing finds herself in, well, hot water
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
A dental hygienist admits he kissed patient. No, he doesn't look like Ryan Gosling, Farkettes
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Make them an offer they can't refuse
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Come for the drilling your cousin jokes, stay for the mugshot
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
America used to be a brave, bold, country full of chocoholics. What happened?
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Wynn Resorts will heretofore be known only as Resorts
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Move over, North Korea and America; India and Pakistan are ready to start World War III (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Mormons want to throw underage kids in jail for recording sexually abusive interviews that Mormon Bishops conduct behind closed doors, alone, with minors, asking them to describe their sexual and masturbation habits
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Scientist discover far more fetal alcohol syndrome in US population than was previously thought to exist before Trump election victory
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Music News)
 
 
 
Cochella gives $50,000 to a militant anti-LGBTQ group who compares homosexuality with devil-worship
source: digitalmusicnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Couple arrested after arguing on a hotel room balcony and throwing plants at each other
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
Video
 
The Phillipines is crushing illegal importation of cars. Along with the cars
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man on vacation in Missouri entertains the other hotel guests with an a cappella version of "My Ding-a-Ling", played in the elevator
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 06, 2018
(Topeka Capital-Journal)
 
 
 
Seriously ... who steals a harp?
source: cjonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Having sex with someone at work is bad. Especially if you work in a morgue
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scary: School bus driver suffers a medical emergency while driving. Cool: 13-year-old boy was able to steer the bus to safety and stop. Fark: He very seldom rides the bus but decided to this day
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The Toddler-in-Chief WANTS A PARADE
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Lexus crashes into Wells Fargo branch resulting in two minor injuries, five new accounts opened
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Hong Kong frees Umbrella leaders. Work on T-Virus expected to continue
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
And they call this great white shark that stalks the Everglades, they call him... George
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Blind man with dog phobia gets a "guide horse"....or so they told him. The Sun is there. Or so they told him (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Guess who turns 19 tomorrow
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Listverse)
 
 
 
It's almost like someone wrote this listicle specifically to get it greenlit on Fark
source: listverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pueblo Chieftain)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Pueblo, $750,000 will be given out for Pot scholarships
source: chieftain.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Tennessee Sheriff orders shooting of unarmed suspect while maniacally laughing. Then complains that he missed all the excitement after his Deputies carry out his order
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Look, Amtrak, guys, seriously, can we go a couple of days without having an "incident"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop these awesome pairs of pants
source: i.cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Who among us hasn't wanted to shoot one of our loud ass friends WHO JUST CAN'T SHUT UP WHEN WE'RE TRYING TO GET SOME DAMN PEACE AND QUIET?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Hey, while you're out, here's a buck. Pick me up a snowball, OK?
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
A key part of the Earth's ozone layer is failing to heal - and scientists don't know why
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Mike Pence is handling all the latest White House controversy in the best way possible: By being far far away from the White House
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Purchaser of many bridges calls pastor "wolf in sheep's clothing" after she accepted his offer to heal her PTSD with his penis
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Trump's proposed immigration plan could end up extending the duration of whites as the majority race in America by five years. Hey, what's that razor called? Ox ham or something?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man + \m/ = (mugshot)
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Police are looking for an older man with white hair and glasses and a lot of helium balloons. A talking dog may also have been involved
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Happy Birthday wishes to Tom Brokaw, longtime anchor of media outlet NBC news who is 78 years young today
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Enraged Florida Man hit girlfriend after she made "provocative" comments about Tom Brady during Super Bowl, cops say
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Not nearly as dramatic when the headline is corrected to "Mum finds bizarre way to cure daughter's cough with a potato on FACEBOOK"
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Path)
 
 
 
Photoshop this treading of the boards
source: mountainstoseatrail.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
SpaceX prepares to launch Falcon Heavy for the first time, plans to land all 3 Falcon 9 rockets back on Earth and put payload of Musk's own Tesla Roadster in orbit around the Sun. So, just another Tuesday. Launch window updated to between 3:45 and 4 PM ET
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Forget making it rain: man accused of flooding strip club
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tri-City Herald)
 
 
 
Please note: it is never appropriate to wax a toddler
source: tri-cityherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Pirates release 22, vow to use the money saved to rebuild the farm system
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
A third of all pugs can't even walk right. This explains so much about the raid finder
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian sub on covert mission to bolster North Korea surveillance. WELL, IT'S NOT COVERT ANYMORE, IS IT?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Tuesday morning includes: a) Canadian whiskey, b) menthol cigarettes, c) strutting around with your junk hanging out, or d) all of the above
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-01-28 to Sat 2018-02-03
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
How Tide Pod eating went viral. This story is long and very weird
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Several buildings in Taiwan have suffered serious damage after a M 6.4 earthquake
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Muscatine Journal)
 
 
 
A snuggie bar crawl? Thanx for that walking nightmare
source: muscatinejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
L.A. is number one... in traffic congestion, once again. Well, at least L.A. endures in a nice pleasant climate. Pretty soon there'll be self driving cars and it won't even matter
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Not news: another snake story from Australia. News: Kids say "best science lesson ever" when a python decides to join the class. Fark: the snake catcher lets it explore around the chairs and tables for lulz. Bonus snake stories in the sidebar
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOODTV Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
14th time is the charm
source: woodtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
China continues to demonstrate its virility by launching a long, hard megadrone that flies up to 80mph and safely ejaculates passengers including Wang Dong, the deputy mayor of Guangzhou
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Only in Pennsylvania is where a man hunting for squirrels can put a school on lockdown
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Trolley operator was posting to Reddit just prior to crash. See, this is why I only post on Faaaaaaaaarrrh
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Kid would rather lift weights, have energy drinks from private fridge in his room, practice with his Zelda sword than go to school. Of course, you are reading this on Fark, so you just know it doesn't end well
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
The list of rejected vanity license plates in Utah is fairly creative for Utah
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
"A man was arrested Monday morning for attempting to rob a Big Daddy's Pizza with a large metal pole"
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Errant tsunami warning issued for Manhattan, much of East Coast. Can't believe the Hawaii missile guy got a new job already
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Another perfect example wherein the rich want to be exempt from the rules
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
These days you can't even clumsily ride your horse down the street in the middle of a Mardi Gras parade without somebody filming it and sending the video to the SPCA
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this swan lake
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Glamorous Kazakhstan beauty beats 4,000 contestants to the final of Miss Kazakhstan. It's a man, baby
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Authorities race to farm to save the cows from vicious tiger that turned out to be stuffed animal. They got suspicious when the "tiger" didn't move for 45 minutes
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
That terrorist attack on a London pub was actually teenagers throwing in fireworks. Admittedly, all teenagers are terrorists in one way or another
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Norway decides in favor of wild reindeer over energy. They'll go down in history, like Columbus
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNCN Raleigh)
 
 
 
NC transportation officials hope to use drones to help transport lifesaving supplies to those in need. The tough part will be finding one capable of lifting a Saint Bernard
source: wncn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Every winter it's the big debate: Do you clear your driveway for less than 3" of snow?
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
It turns out for Steve Wynn, the 'G' in GILF does not stand for 'gambler'
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Drunk man who went streaking on the fairway of the Phoenix Open and was arrested for indecent exposure: "It was worth it"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man answers ad that offers help to get out of timeshare. Winds up buying second timeshare
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 05, 2018
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
An obviously better get-rich-quick scheme than the stock market: Steal a bucket of gold, launder it with the Russian mob, hide most of it in a locker that only your lover knows about, flee to Ecuador and hope someone just mails the rest to you
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Two drinks a day can help you fight Alzheimer's, whereas six drinks a day can help you fight anyone in the bar
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huddersfield Examiner)
 
 
 
Runners get the shaft after receiving a free t-shirt for completing the Dewsbury 10k run
source: examiner.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cold cave
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
Audio
 
Fell victim to the Superb Owl "hangover" where the DJ has problems functioning on a couple of hours sleep. The server gets put into autopilot mixing music and comedy for tonight's Paul's Memory Bank at 8PM ET
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Federal Bureau of Investigation)
 
 
 
The FBI has posted billboards looking for the Chameleon Beard Bandit, whose beard apparently changes color based on its surroundings
source: fbi.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: Woman ordered to trim her bush which grew so big it left neighbours in the dark. Are we still doing phrasing?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Husband to wife during traffic stop: Hide my cocaine in your hoo-ha. K9 officer: Hold my beer
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Sir, you can't park your Lamborghini there
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The cure for baldness has been found in McDonald's french fries
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Crazy-ass flat-Earther fails to splat Earth again
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Bank robber who left copy of drivers license at scene looks exactly like Non from Superman 2. KNEEL BEFORE ZOD
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Gentlemen, it's time to spread the word, and the word is: PANIC (everybody)
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
How much it costs to deliver a baby in every state. Cost of changing your name to Rambo Balboa and growing a beard? $0
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Photoshop these carts on cables
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
There's losing your playbook, and then there's losing your Super Bowl Anti-Terrorism playbook
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
A whole bunch of butt naked people will be taking over Times Square (again) this weekend
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Diego Reader)
 
 
 
San Diegans will have to find a new source for bull penis tacos
source: sandiegoreader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter