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Sun February 04, 2018
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Demand for a "Barbie vagina" has risen by almost 50%.....so have almost all the men that clicked the link
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Best dad EVAR?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Billionaire wants government to solve his poop problem or he won't pay his property taxes
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge - A block, a hawk, and a walk
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Please stop sharing child porn on Facebook - you're not helping find the perpetrator
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I'd buy that for a dollar
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
You're filtering your stream water wrong, dumbass
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Extra Crispy)
 
 
 
Oh yeah, bring on the bacon football for your Super Bowl feast. You will be dancing in the end zone no matter who wins
source: extracrispy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Teacher, 22, charged with multiple counts of sexual assault of student. Who is 18. And the story appears to change every hour, so who knows what to put in the headline now
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Nevada hoping to cash in on lucrative streetlight tours
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop these five frogmen
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Christian" Blogger: Yoga was designed to cause a 'Demonic Trance'. Rest Of The World: Are you a complete moran, or are there some pieces missing? BONUS: Links to his Twitter Page
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"A targeted 11-day information operation ... amplified by computational propaganda techniques and aimed to change both public perceptions and the behavior of American lawmakers"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Let's disassemble a Tesla 3 to see how carefully it's made -- Oh, dear God
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Only In Minnesota headline: "Brainerd Jaycees investigate cheating in ice-fishing tournament"
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
NYPD steal $30,000 worth of booze because of course they did
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
They pull into your patch, you pull out a shovel. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the court. That's the ice cream man way
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Caption this little reader
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Terre Haute Tribune Star)
 
 
 
Man files federal lawsuit claiming his right to free speech was violated after State Trooper gives him a ticket because he gave him the finger. Taunting the dynamite monkey is a bold move Cotton, let's see if it works
source: tribstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"We don't see anything wrong with the lottery, but the unusual winnings has stumped us"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time (Images))
 
 
 
Photoshop this vintage VHS tape
source: timedotcom.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Things overheard
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
If you want to improve your decision-making skills, just make them in another language because your native tongue is infused with emotions from your family, friends, and television
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Looking for an apartment with four bedrooms, ten bathrooms, four kitchens complete with limestone, herringbone interiors? Submitter would get it but needs more bathrooms
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
When Kentucky elk fly
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Am-Off-Trak
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Bell ends in Sandwich
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Guy doesn't have tiger in his tank but he does have a lion on his spare tire
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
An actual 1984 news story showing the source of the Florida tag
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
A mob of dozens of bicyclists rode the wrong way through the streets of Manhattan, heckling walkers and attacking drivers who confronted them, witnesses say
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
700 ♣ / 1 - that's 700 Club stroke one
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Hampshire Public Radio)
 
 
 
New Hampshire court to hear a case about making topless bathing legal. Which really shouldn't be an issue in a state where people can only sunbathe three days out of the year
source: nhpr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 03, 2018
(CNN)
 
 
 
I think a writer at CNN is trying to convince himself that everything is fine
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Two people died in that photograph. The general killed the Viet Cong; I killed the general with my camera"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Dad who lunged at pedo creep Larry Nassar receiving hundreds of donations from the public for any potential legal fees resulting from Friday's courtroom incident
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Russia...
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
What's next for Cape Town when they run out of water?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bird
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Could you die from a lack of sleep?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Tired of being pulled over and forced to blow into a tube? Now your tires will be pulled over and forced to blow into a tube
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
...but not a tear was shed
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Man wears stopwatch, ID badge, sunglasses and boots to poorly-attended neighborhood dance. Sort of NSFW
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Standing your ground doesn't equate to chasing people and shooting them in the back
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
60,000 pounds of kitty litter spill from tractor trailer on highway. First responders baffled at what to contain this with
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The only unions that seem to be immune to criticism are collecting massive pay for their do nothing members
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Drink your way through the Super Bowl without the Monday morning hangover
source: quartzy.qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Texas man arrested for driving 111 miles an hour in Vermont. I know what you are thinking. What is a Texas man doing in Vermont?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Atlantis)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: We all know that Doctors "practice," but just what are they practicing?
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
So that Equifax app that promises to "lock" (but not freeze) your credit works about as well as could be expected
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Meet Pigcasso, the painting pig whose artworks sell for thousands of dollars
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Red Panda is getting a new unicycle thanks to the Golden State Warriors. No mad-libs were harmed in the making of this headline
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Welcome to Monowi, Nebraska ... population 1
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
This isn't my usual parking space. But as I'm here, double saveloy & chips please (That'll confuse the yanks)
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
'Starry Night' is a beautiful painting, just not on a house
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Missing family dog shows up late for dinner ...10 years late, still wants steak
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
It's about to get more expensive to flee the country
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
It's hard to get arrested at Mardi Gras but some of the things that will get you taken to jail are fighting, trying to return to a bar you've been kicked out of, and punching a police horse
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Own more than two cars? Don't live in this city
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Middle school student plans out the best show and tell ever
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popsugar)
 
 
 
The time Mr. Rogers flew to Baltimore to see a fan who was in the hospital recovering from brain surgery. Story to the left, onion cutting factory to the right
source: popsugar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fierce protector
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Olean Times Herald)
 
 
 
I can't think of a pun for this Nazi cop dispute
source: oleantimesherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Alabama animal rescuer died as she lived: saving cats and dogs. Please raise your glass in memory of this wonderful woman on Caturday
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you know someone who lost his head during the last decade or so the police would like a word
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
New dog rescue shelter opens with a tap room built in. Get drunk and go home with a dog
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
People advised to stay inside for: A) Active shooter, B) Drunk and dangerous driver, or C) Guy showing people his wee wee (tag for advisory)
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Airlines confused why passengers, who they treat like shiat and charge for luggage, take that luggage with them during an evacuation
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
When it comes to mental health and obesity issues, instead of asking, "what's wrong with you?" we need to start asking, "what happened to you?"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Longmont Times-Call)
 
 
 
And to the Republic for which it stands ..... stands ...... STANDS ..... I said STAND dammit
source: timescall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Shelby Mustang GT500 Miller arrested for driving without a license
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
If you thought the DJIA had a bad day, check out Bitcoins
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Dial-an-Agent: ICE takes requests on which immigrants to investigate
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Federal Reserve drops the hammer on Wells Fargo. Warren Buffett last seen looking for his lucky dime
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 02, 2018
(Hudson Valley News Network)
 
 
 
Goofus shows up drunk at his court-ordered session with a DWI-victim-impact panel, drives away drunk on his suspended license and is arrested again. Gallant is drunk too, but sold his car and moved to the city ages ago
source: hudsonvalleynewsnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Exploding coconut 'sent fear' through crematorium staff"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
If you love someone, beat the crap out of 'em
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
O.O
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
I'm not dying?
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangkok Post)
 
 
 
Cambodia criminalizes any criticism of their dopey-ass looking king
source: bangkokpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
In a hurry to dry your hair? Ronco has the solution
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Google shows each state's favorite Super Bowl snack
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snekky ferry service
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Goose, goose, duck!
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Dorset knob-throwing festival cancelled for 2018
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
There are groundhog days when he see his shadow and there are groundhog days when he doesn't see his shadow. And then there are groundhog days when he attacks a reporter while trying to escape
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Ever the iconoclast, Sir Walter Wally contradicts Punxsutawney Phil, says winter is over
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Ontario groundhog Willie pokes his head oot his hole & tells up-country degens to give their balls a tug cuz it'll be six more weeks of winter. Big surprise, eh boys?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
How to stream the Super Bowl, Kitten Bowl, and Puppy Bowl
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Missing woman shows up on "The Bachelor," regrets not staying missing
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Oregon man placed calls to airports in Nevada and Texas, reporting his father and brother as terrorists because they got an invitation to a family wedding and he didn't
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Naked Florida Man caught riding bike in community gym. Apparently, his kickstand was deployed
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these snow monsters
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
"An employee who was fired from the Spanaway Walmart for allegedly trying to steal a safe returned to the store days later to try to retrieve what he had left in the safe - his drugs"
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Baby, it's cold outside
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Serial plane stowaway has bizarre outburst in court
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Turkish court overturns ruling to release Amnesty chair. Angry chair, slatted chair of woe considering appeals
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
7 guys with guns rob phone store near where police are holding training. Bonus crazy surveillance video
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Some African countries are using Trump's sh*thole comments to boost tourism: "We would like to invite you to come to sh*thole Namibia, one of the best sh*thole countries out there"
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Because of course he does
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Smoking in a van full of volatile chemicals, surprisingly a bad idea
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Father accused of dropping 'vaping liquid' into 9-week-old baby's mouth: 'I've done it before'
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Archaeologists find pool of water in ancient church but cannot determine what it was used for
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Michigan senate candidate drops out of race after defending Larry Nassar and questioning the sex life of the judge on his case
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Washington Monument to get permanent erection, says National Park Service spokesperson Mike Litterst
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Worst. Game. Ever
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
United Airlines tightens rules for comfort animals after peacock denied flight at Newark
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
So what are the animals saying about the Super Bowl? Here are predictions from different critters across the country
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Dad of three child victims lunges at Larry Nassar during court hearing, forcing recess
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
14 million Americans will miss work Monday. Or, you know, the NFL could move the game to Saturday
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: The world's worst job
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Now I know my BAC. Next time won't you sing with me?
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
You always want to be first in something. Except for being the first person charged under Ohio's new anti-bestiality laws
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Don't believe that fingering a teenage girl is a necessary part of a scoliosis exam? Maybe you missed the PowerPoint presentation
source: news.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
MAN DIES WHILE HIKING ON ECHO CANYON TRAIL WITH FAMILY... Man dies while hiking on Echo Canyon Trail with family... ᴹᵃᶰ ᵈᶦᵉˢ ʷʰᶦᶫᵉ ʰᶦᵏᶦᶰᵍ ᵒᶰ ᴱᶜʰᵒ ᶜᵃᶰʸᵒᶰ ᵀʳᵃᶦᶫ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᶠᵃᵐᶦᶫʸ
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: When arguing with a judge, do not say you are going to bring your .44 magnum
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Dog inside™
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southern Poverty Law Center)
 
 
 
48% of high school seniors identify taxes as cause of the Civil War
source: splcenter.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
IL supreme court unanimously decides that, without a compelling reason, the state can't restrict rights from: (A) sexually liberated women who want to get abortions, (B) child migrants who want citizenship, (C) men who want to carry guns near parks
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Will Phil see his shadow, ushering in endless winter? Or will he face his fears and the audience? Will Ned Ryerson say BING? I GOT YOU BABE, it's Groundhog Day 2018, all the major networks covering it starting at 6AM ET. LGT livestream
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
It's easy to condemn a petty thief if you haven't walked a mile in his shoes. But it's considerably easier if he's walked a mile in yours and still has them on when the cops arrive
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"You know it's not true, if someone pees on the bed, where you going to sleep?"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inc)
 
 
 
United passenger finds "forever" ticket from 1998. Since you're reading this, you should know how this didn't turn out
source: inc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
If you plan on going to Gobbler's Knob here are some tips. Missing: Don't drive angry. In fact, don't drive. There's no parking on Gobbler's Knob. You'll have to either walk there from downtown Punxsutawney or catch a shuttle bus
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Passenger restrained with duct tape and zip ties after storming cockpit, apparently after misunderstanding the flight attendant as having said they were also out of coffee
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phoenix New Times)
 
 
 
New Times headline run through Fark filter after media attention forced Arizona State to cancel fapping seminar
source: phoenixnewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Ugly ass baby sloth born at Denver zoo, will cling to mother for at least 6 months like a recent college graduate
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 01, 2018
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Naked bank robber not guilty by reason of insanity, Florida
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
'Stupid, arrogant' cyclist (I know, redundant) shouts at train driver after he ignores barriers to stop
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Half Your Base Are Begin To Risk
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRG Mobile)
 
 
 
10-year-old boy suffers severe allergic reaction to antibiotic, loses all skin, eyes. While unresponsive for 45 minutes, says he saw man in white robe standing in room. Was it God, Jesus, an angel? Who cares? Kid's blind. GoFundMe link in story
source: wkrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"Somebody get the salami and cream-cheese and rub it all over his face! He's unconscious! On the ground! With the mop! That's the story!"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Which fashion brand is having its #MeToo moment? Go on, Guess
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If 'penis wiggling' at your offensive neighbor at the beach is wrong I don't want to be right
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
A tortoise that escaped six months ago has been found, only 1,056 feet from where she escaped
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Gates flipped
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Rock God)
 
 
 
Photoshop this toy guitar
source: ecx.images-amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKOW Madison)
 
 
 
How can four people drive a car at once?
source: wkow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Woman campaigns to have "fireman" mascot changed to "firefighter" and that makes people hot
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
Video
 
Porta Potty arsonist still at large. Investigators focused on local Taco Bell Restaurants
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Tom Brokaw donates 50-year archive of his reporting to the University of Iowa, including, we assume, his classic Gerald Ford eulogy
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Today's investigative claim about D.B. Cooper is: a) He's alive and living quietly in Monowi, NE b) was an alien and was pulled into a saucer and whisked away by fellow aliens c) a CIA agent whose identity has been covered up by federal agents
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Be it a work event or the big game, what's your go-to when taking a dish for pot luck?
source: lecremedelacrumb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Torn from the front page of the Bangor Daily News: THE BACON TREE IS CLOSING
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Some people call him the cocaine cowboy, some call him the gangster of crack
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hack A Day)
 
 
 
15 years ago today, we lost a manned spacecraft for the last time, so far. What have we learned?
source: hackaday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these vintage bar stools
source: ssli.ebayimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
A Facebook Live video purportedly showing a live view of a "supermoon" over Greece, which in fact was actually a still image with wind sounds added, was viewed more than 16 million times over four hours on Wednesday. Tag is for Facebook
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
There's lazy and then there's slippers that put themselves away when you take them off lazy (w/video)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
Russia boasts of having used 215 new weapon systems during the Syrian War, including the Submersible Fighter Aircraft, the Placebo Air Defense, and the Rapid-Evacuation Airbase
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cape Town races to avert a water shortage Day Zero. Doo-dah
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Phuket News)
 
 
 
Buttocks whitening cream and a full moon lead to charges of misrepresentation
source: thephuketnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Pornhub offers 110 gallons of lube to the city of Philadelphia for its dry pole problem after the police department announces it won't grease up the city's light poles for the upcoming Super Bowl
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(Fox 4 News Dallas)
 
 
 
Middle school bans open containers
source: fox4news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
U.S. Military in 2017: "Fielding a reliable railgun just isn't possible." U.S. Military in 2018: "Mr. President, we must not allow a railgun gap"
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Behold the subway masturbator
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
What do Abraham Lincoln's nose and Brigham Young's finger have in common?
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
No one dead in LA middle school shooting, only injured, so no need to reset the clock or talk about gun control. Bonus: shooter was female
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Most stowaways are confined to the brig, this one however was given a luxury suite and a 24-hour attendant
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
In China, many women are reluctant to be bridesmaids for their friends because they are required to drink on behalf of the bride, sometimes fatally
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Peru's famous and enigmatic Nazca Lines have endured 2,000 years of wind, rain, and earthquakes, but one drunk or stupid truck driver was too much for them
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
If you've seen a girl, 5'8", with red hair, hazel eyes, missing arms, and scuffed nipples, the owner of Beer Punx would like to hear from you
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Want to make $10k/hour? People everywhere are doing it. By taking Equifax to small claims court and winning
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Polish lawmakers approve bill that would impose jail terms for suggesting Poland was complicit during the Holocaust, drawing outrage from Israel, which suggested they just go back to making screen doors for submarines like before
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Today, we learn that 'cat-detecting search dogs' exist
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Shocker: Town sued within a week of banning non-residents from using shortcut to George Washington Bridge. Town says, "Fark, thought we could get away with it"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Two girls in Alabama suspended after one asked the other to prom. Roy Moore quickly offers to be their joint date
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Man calls in bomb threat to help girlfriend who couldn't afford a lawyer for her kids' custody case, now needs a lawyer of his own
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Florida lawmakers are finally tired of fake sign language interpreters showing up to translate during news conferences
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this intense stare
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stanford University)
 
 
 
What's after cancer? Still no cure for that
source: med.stanford.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
Weeners
 
Mayor asks for high school mascot change amid concerns about phallic connotations
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
This is Pennsylvania. We speak English here. Except these 13 towns
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"911, what's your emergency?" "I WAS SHOT SIXTEEN TIMES." "What's your address...yeah, that's outside the city. We can't help you"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Did you want to know why things are getting crazier lately? "Negotiations" are going on about the dozen topics Mueller wants to question Trump about in an interview
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"People are not under surveillance," Mr. Harrison said. "We want to make that clear. We're just installing 1500 cameras to look at all the boobies being flashed during Mardi Gras"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
The Catholic Church says they've changed for the better after abuse scandals, and what better way to demonstrate that than opposing a bill to extend the statute of limitations for reporting child sexual abuse
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Landscaper fills planters with tulips, two legs, two arms, miscellaneous parts
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM...wait
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
The good news is, Goodwill has a bargain grenade launcher for sale. UPDATE: It's a toy
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Driver gets rear ended in hit and run. Gives chase. Rolls car. Fark: Continues chase
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
I guess we know which one's the evil twin
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 665: "Comfort 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 31, 2018
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Udder perversion
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
Don't accidentally bring your airsoft pistol to school in your backpack. And if you do accidentally bring your airsoft pistol to school in your backpack, DON'T mention it on the bus on the way in. And if You do mention it, DON'T snap-chat about it
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Of all the ways to go, "Death by zebra crashing into your Land Rover" has to be pretty rare
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Old man yells at Tinder
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Bad: Getting ripped at work by your boss. Worse: Getting ripped at work by your tire shredder
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Doc sends coroner to pronounce breathing, moving patient dead. Coroner refuses, tells doc to see patient again. Doc says to keep waiting and he'll stop breathing. Patient eventually dies. See? See?
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Owner receives letter granting dog unemployment benefits
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Militant vegan calls dairy farmers 'rapists' and compares himself to abolitionsts from the days of slavery
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Retina II F (Type 047)
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The FBI Agent that Pro-Trump Republicans are claiming has a "treasonous" anti-Trump bias not only favored reopening the Clinton investigation in October 2016, but helped draft Comey's now-infamous memo
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal Times)
 
 
 
Beer + Pot = Shooting Trees
source: journaltimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Inmate awaiting sentencing for child porn conviction passes coded message to associate to kill judge on his case. Obviously things don't go as he planned
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Bras under huge pressure removed. Absent comma tally: two
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Please ignore the radiation-scanning helicopters searching downtown for nukes, nothing to see here
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The deepening mystery of Pierre Agnes, the Quicksilver CEO whose boat washed ashore in France devoid of passengers
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump apparently asked Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein if he was "on my team." Rosenstein reportedly answered that he did go through a phase in college, but, hey, didn't everyone?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: The most amazing magic trick
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
He's got the 'panty' thing down pat, and the 'raid,' but what's up with the bull skull?
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
New report finds roaches, mice, flies infest hundreds of NYC public school cafeterias. City says that's just Wednesday's menu
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Baltimore)
 
 
 
If you lost 39 hand grenades, 9 of them live, authorities on Maryland's Eastern shore would like to have a word
source: foxbaltimore.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
There is a movement to put a $20 tax on the internet
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"Have it your way, at Burger King" was just an advertising slogan. It's not to be taken literally, and it certainly doesn't mean you can just walk in, whip out your junk and start beating it like it owes you money
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Philly issues new challenge to the city's elite pole climbing teams
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hamas co-founder declared winner of No Lackin' Challenge
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Bystander on the ground thinks, "hey, free helicopter"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
27 funny, no-pressure Valentine's Day gifts, including a "Stranger Things" inspired card and "Fifty Shades of Bacon"
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
When the federal government has to intervene to dissolve your frat, maybe the party was a little too inappropriate
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grand Island Independent)
 
 
 
Bangor's attempt to break beer can record comes up short by 28 beers
source: theindependent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
"If a ship had 26 sheep and 10 goats onboard, how old is the ship's captain?"
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
GOP lawmakers provide live demonstration of their plan for America
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
According to a recent survey, more than 40% of those under age 33 prioritize 'Instagrammability' when choosing their next holiday spot
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
How Millennials will make retirement better for Baby Boomers
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Guys who discovered cache of ancient gold coins in Britain find out it was a prop for a television show
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Washington State helpfully releases a list of which bridges are 'structurally deficient' which is . . . pretty much all of them. Enjoy your commute
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Hunter shot dead before killing second lion raised in captivity. Grumpy cat might have some thoughts on this
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ahh young love: getting to know each other, sharing each others interests, going on dates where you cling to the back of a train going 75mph
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Spanish van driver plays the wildest game of Jenga ever with his vehicle and 20 large wooden pallets
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Police pull over car crammed with oranges. Julius wanted for questioning
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Indiana restaurant will no longer be serving the cocaine cheese stick special
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Man with .419 BAC gives up on field sobriety test, tells police he's 'going to jail anyways' No word on his Fark handle
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Browsing for porn in the UK will now require a user ID and other personal information
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy and his early IBM 305 RAMAC Disk System
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IFL Science)
 
 
 
Weimaraner puppy protects museum products from pests. It's your Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: iflscience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Cat burglar's two-year neighborhood reign of underwear terror comes to an end after furry culprit gets caught red-pawed
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Asshats in truck keep pointing laser at National Guard helicopter. Chopper, "which was built to track vehicles," goes full "Airwolf"
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
El Paso discovers The Alamo's basement
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I'd probably puke if I chugged a bottle of Jaegermeister. Good thing this girl shotgunned a Red Bull afterwards
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
An 11-year-old girl is sewing handbags to help the hurricane victims in Puerto Rico which still 10x more than what the president has done
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Journalism 2018: Food critic reviews Taco Bell's new french fries. "If I have one gripe about them, it's that the fries aren't nearly spicy enough"
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Wow Jeff Foxworthy has really let himself go
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Paris opens doors to France's first ever sex doll brothel. Qua mais?
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
People with high blood sugar more likely to get Alzheimer's, long-term cognitive decline. Also true for people with high blood sugar
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man shot at Daytona Beach apartment complex, possibly by some sort of trebuchet
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 30, 2018
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Most of the Saudis netted in the Crown Prince's anti-corruption crackdown have now been released, $100 billion poorer, after nearly 2 months of detention in the Ritz Carlton. Man, those minibars are pricey
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ripley's)
 
 
 
It's National Corn Chip Day so naturally it's time to smell your dog's feet and draw strange conclusions
source: ripleys.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
The world's second oldest man gets promoted (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Weird venomous sea creatures wash up on beach, reality TV
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Drew Brees' sons violate the first rule of Kid Fight Club on live TV
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Now we'll never know if drunks burn hotter than sober folks
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
♫"...They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy. Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. ♫ But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is I'm the only one, IIIIIIII'm the only one". ♫♫ Until now
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Music News)
 
 
 
First Montana, now California's passing their own net Neutrality Laws? What's going on...a sudden outbreak of common sense?
source: digitalmusicnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Dynamite or not, just don't taunt the monkey
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
CEO of Humane Society accused of not treating staff um, humanely
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Today, hot dogs taught me that "Where's Waldo?" is British and is called "Where's Wally?" outside of U.S. and Canada (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cow skates better than Lightning's Dan Girardi, though that doesn't say much
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Teen dying from rare form of cancer marries his high school sweetheart. Soon to be a Netflix Original presentation starring Hailee Steinfeld and Steve Buscemi
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this daring motorcyclist
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Plane that led D-Day invasion to fly over Normandy again
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Metro Times)
 
 
 
Lawyers faced with emojis and emoticons are all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
source: metrotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
Hearing voices is actually a sign of well-tuned brain. Acting on the voices when they tell you to paint yourself purple and run naked down the New Jersey turnpike not so great
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Food and Drug Administration is asking manufacturers to change how they package and handle loperamide. Side effect may cause population explosion of underpants gnomes
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
How many Farkettes on here found their dream man dirty, with a big beard and living on the streets?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
Thanks to a sheriff deputy, man avoids placing third on the "That's the way I wanna go" list, behind getting caught in the gears of a combine and having your nuts bit off by a Laplander
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Pizza: Part of this complete breakfast
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Good news: Zion Curtain to keep Utah kids from seeing mixing, pouring of alcoholic drinks reformed. Fark: Now must be Zion Walls
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
What happens when Gramps accidentally bumps the remote off of Fox News and onto the Grammys? An insane letter to the editor
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
US Military releases video of Russian jet passing within 5 feet of an American aircraft. Article includes the term "jet wash", but did not indicate if anyone was flipping the bird
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Japanese tits sound the alarm
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
"What kinds of cannabis do you sell here?" "Well, our biggest seller is Blue Screech." "Blue Screech? What is that like?" "Well, it hits you like a runaway car"
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
POTUS' pick for most violent city in America tops best cities poll. Coverage by Daily Mail raises doubts as to the existence of Donald Trump
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
Fallout from Baltimore police corruption trial continues as cops reveal that they kept toy guns to plant on the unarmed people they shot
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bathers in the mist
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Facebook users to Facebook: "We don't care if we get our news from Russian propaganda troll pages. We LIKE them that way. Now leave us alone, you deep state lackey"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
So how much are you betting on the Super Bowl? America will bet about $4.76 BILLION on it
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
$3.50 hot dog wins a James Beard Award, makes Time magazine and Fark.com. May run in 2020
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Chris Pratt to star in first commercial, entirely because he likes beer. Fark handle currently unknown
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pleasanton Weekly)
 
 
 
Man recognized for 100th blood donation. Please give blood. Just not in an old milk jug. Or as a wedding present
source: pleasantonweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Florida Man, Florida Man, steal a bar of gold any way you can
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Your dentist may soon be talking to you about oral sex. Which is odd, since they know much more about drilling
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Hawaii missile alert supervisor clicked the Add Link button instead of Preview
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Shockingly, gay man who married straight woman to uphold Mormon values getting divorced
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Plane's flight attendants strip down to bikinis, put on "improvised performance" to welcome home national soccer team. For some reason, airline company not OK with this
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Naked and intoxicated burglar in Pennsylvania breaks into a building, and also accidentally called 911 on himself. Your move, Florida Man
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
TSA finds record 3,957 guns at airport checkpoints in 2017, mostly from Burt Gummer's carry-on bags
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
"Listen, and understand. Florida Man is out there. He can't be bargained with. He can't be reasoned with. And he will not stop ringing your doorbell until you shoot him"
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
To 'salt' icy roads, some states are using beet juice, molasses, cheese waste, or beer
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
German tanks were considered the best in the world until they arrived in Syria. This is not a repeat from 1941, so put down that bazooka
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Need a drinking game for tonight's address? Fill out your State of the Union BINGO card and get your drinks ready
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Task and Purpose)
 
 
 
Despite what you may have seen on television, officials want you to know that a fighter pilot would not have the callsign "Clown Penis"
source: taskandpurpose.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but no you can't take a peacock on an airplane
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
"I used to be a package thief. Then I took a package to the knee"
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Can anybody read what is on this robber's eyebrow and throat in this mugshot?
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
Not content to stand idly by and let millennials have all the fun, baby boomers are killing the early bird special
source: eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Dad delivers baby in minivan. Also may not have thought his choice of t-shirt through
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Large quantity of meth hidden in fake soda can, Alabama, mug shot. Yep all the boxes are checked
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WIVB)
 
 
 
Seven-year-old boy led out of school in handcuffs after punching out teacher. Or as they might say in Florida: "Thursday"
source: wivb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Flight forced to make U-turn after issue arises with on-board toilets. If only there were 85 plumbers on board...oh wait
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Amazon, Berkshire Hathaway, and JP Morgan Chase to form Voltron of Healthcare. Though probably more like the Zarquon Empire
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Sydney harbor Ferry McFerryface renamed after embarrassing revelation
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Dad, young sons are top-ranked professional cornhole players (snicker)
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Drug companies ship 20.8 million prescription painkillers to a West Virginia town in a 10 year period. Difficulty: Town has a population of 2,900
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this umbrella crossing
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBT Mishawaka)
 
 
 
The authorities are investigating what could possibly be the best nursing home ever
source: wsbt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Holy Grail of dinosaurs found in the Egyptian desert. Promptly taunts paleontologists from its perch on the castle wall
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
School meant to show children the Paddington movie but instead aired porn, though that was less damaging and terrifying
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Fox & Friends host Brian Kilmeade refuses to get a flu shot as it's only 30% effective. Let's hope this clip doesn't go viral
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
There are stupid criminals, and then there's THIS guy
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Remember those "patriotic locals" fighting the oppressive Ukrainian government in Donetsk in 2015? One of their leaders, named Valery Asapov, just happened to die in Syria, wearing a Russian general's uniform while commanding Russian troops
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Pallas cat is back perched over the chamber door
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Christopher Wray names David Bowdich as Assistant Director to replace Andrew McCabe. Bowdich was PD, SWAT, Sniper, Joint Terror Task Force, Anti-Gang Task Force, and is loyal, career FBI. TL;DR- he's Mini Mueller
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Amazon Go is great. Great at wrapping every single item for sale in a death shroud of plastic
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
Cockroaches in cars causing crashes
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Buying a home in San Francisco will now cost more than just an arm and a leg, it'll take your kidney, gall bladder and adenoids too
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Government building evacuated because of: A) Suspicious package B) Suspicious backpack C) Bag of popcorn in the break room microwave
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Perth Now)
 
 
 
In Australia, even the kangaroos are out to get you
source: perthnow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you sleepwalk, make sure to close the windows before you go to bed
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Remember that same sex couple who thought they found a loophole in Russia's recognition of gay marriage and ended up charged with damaging their passports? They've now had to flee the country
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Two on duty cops eat pot edibles raided from dispensary, start hallucinating then call for backup. Bonus: One of the responding cops injures himself during the "rescue". That's some fine police work, Lou
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 29, 2018
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Nicest booty you'll see today (SFW)
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
DUI suspect drives for another block on three wheels after crash, tells bystander "don't tell them I was texting"
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
See lion roaming the streets of Oregon. Oh sorry, sea lion roaming the streets of Oregon. Oh sorry again, did this joke last week
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Nearly half of Colorado pot users polled admit going to work high, according to auto sales app with no polling, marijuana use expertise
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Because fark that article from Sunday, that's why
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Baltimore)
 
 
 
Usually in an accident involving money scattered all over a highway an armored car is involved, not a hatchback carrying an illegal slot machine
source: baltimore.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
ƃuᴉpuɐl pooƃ ɐ sᴉ ɯoɹɟ ʎɐʍɐ ʞlɐʍ noʎ ƃuᴉpuɐl ʎu∀
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Pool Noodle owner looks exactly as you'd expect
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Anthem to ER patient: Sorry, being doubled-over in excruciating pain with suspected appendicitis isn't really an "emergency," so you're now on the hook for $12,000. Share and Enjoy
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: I'm so confused
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
I think I shall never see something as dumb as a bike in a tree
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: A new kind of flavor for bubble gum
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
It's R&B / Soul Night on Paul's Memory Bank tonight at 8PM ET
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Russia, apparently eager for a mid-air collision to occur, flew a fighter within 5 feet from a P-3 Orion in their closest approach to date
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Traveller)
 
 
 
Qantas 787 travels from Los Angeles to Melbourne on mustard-seed biofuel. Ketchup ship and pickle-copter still in design phase
source: traveller.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
Jared Kushner finally did something good
source: ny.eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
100 years ago, Florida tried science, with expected results (possible NSFW content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Are you sitting down? Ok, this may come as a shock, are you ready? Ok, good. Turns out Bitcoin's historic rise may be sham
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
"Officials did not specify how the [sand] tunnel was dug," but since paramedics had to dig Florida Man out from it, we can assume the answer is "not well"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
6'9" Florida Man™ arrested after beating armless, legless girlfriend. If that wasn't enough Florida for you, she didn't have a phone either. So he pushed her wheelchair to Walmart so she could report him (w/mugshot goodness)
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Masquerade ball held where fathers, daughters dance the night away. Creepy or clean family fun? You decide (hint: creepy)
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sometimes in life, you just need a chihuahua pillow
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grammy Phone)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vintage record store
source: i.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
And now for something completely different: Man stuffs thousands of bees down his t-shirt with his bare hands (possible NSFW content on page)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Half-Scoop doesn't think "the American taxpayer" should have to pay McCabe's pension, has a terminal case of irony
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Loose cow runs wrong way down road," which suggests that there's a right way for a cow to run down a road and it involves tightening the horns or something
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
The City of Houston has more brothels than Starbucks, no mention if there are four brothels at one intersection though
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
This day in 1954, Seattle started eating bags of Dick's
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The U.S. Park Service would like you to stop leaving the cremated remains of recently deceased Vietnam vets at the Memorial Wall, please. I guess that means full bodies are OK, then?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Ownership battle heats up over Ulva. With helpful picture of a little man in a boat
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Rat filmed cleaning itself by having a shower just like a human. Was reportedly with a weird creature that has blue fur and a big nose
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
If you live in Toronto and you've had landscaping done by this guy, those large decorative planters on your patio probably contain a dismembered body
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
NYC chef sues Hustler Club for $1 million, says angry stripper punched him in face and knocked out his tooth after he called her a bad mom
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Less than 4 in 10 Americans can afford to have a minor emergency. In other news, is there really such a thing as a 'minor emergency'?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
NewsFlash
 
FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe stepping down to spend more time with grand jury
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Back in the 70s when you got caught streaking, you got yelled at by Ethel and paid a fine. Today you streak and get caught, you get crowdfunding to pay the $5000 fine
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter