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Sun January 14, 2018
(Palladium-Item)
 
 
 
You think that drunk driving is a modern problem?
source: pal-item.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Illinois judge allows an 11-year-old girl to use medical marijuana at school. No word when Jeff Sessions will sue the girl
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Gun company decides that plausible deniability is for the weak, goes full fascist
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dumpster fire
source: img.fark.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Erratic, cunning, linguist robs chauffeur
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
You two suck at cooking meth
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big Country Homepage)
 
 
 
Third ugly ass baby giraffe born at Abilene zoo in four months. In other news the giraffes at the Abilene zoo are scoring more than you are
source: bigcountryhomepage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
When you insist on mooning people in public, be prepared to be the butt of jokes
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this command centre
source: main-designyoutrust.netdna-ssl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
What rolls down the track / Built by lumberjack / And over your neighbor's dog? / What's terribly fast / And prob'ly won't last / It's log log log
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone: The Iranian oil tanker is no longer on fire. There's also some bad news
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Drug charges against all but one of the 65 people arrested at a lingerie birthday party in Georgia dropped
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Shots fired outside Chuck E. Cheese after fight breaks out inside. What is it about that restaurant chain?
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Statter 911)
 
 
 
And they think we will be able to handle flying cars
source: statter911.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Ongoing court case illustrates troubles canceling gym membership
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WA Today (Australia))
 
 
 
Police are searching for vandals who left bizarre notes referencing "World War Three" and "the Rapture" in mailboxes after cutting phone/Internet cables
source: watoday.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
While you've been stocking up on snacks for the playoff games or hunkered in your basement command center for a holiday weekend's worth of gaming, this 60 year old cancer survivor just completed her very first Ironman
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
It's not quite the zombie plague, but this year's H3N2 flu strain is so nasty you might just wish you could turn into a brainless unfeeling creature if you end up catching the bug
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
France seeks UN protection ... for baguettes?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Oh my God! See lions attacking swimmers in San Francisco Bay! Oh, sorry, I mean sea lions are attacking swimmers in San Francisco Bay. Wait, that's not much better
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Frog the rooster runs to greet Savannah when the school bus drops her off. Wolf waits patiently nearby, unconcerned about the confusing names
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
"This is your Captain speaking, we apologize for the rough landing, but we are safely on the ground. Please now close your window to avoid seeing the side of the cliff we are hanging off and we hope you had a pleasant flight"
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this...um, whatever this is
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday: The worst thing you ever broke
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Glamour model girlfriend of UKIP leader claims Prince Harry's 'black American' fiancee will 'taint' the Royal Family with 'her seed' and pave the way for a 'black king'
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Leader of the white supremacist gang Public Enemy No 1 shanked in a CA prison, probably by members of the affiliated Aryan Brotherhood who...wait there was a gang whose initials were PEN1??
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Gallant finds another route past the house fire so firefighters can do their job. Entitled Douchebag guns it and drives over the hoses, putting everyone at risk
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
For the first time, the 3 best-selling beers in America are light beers. Don't people realize they have less alcohol?
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
Iowa gets an expensive lesson that reefer madness does not trump the 1st Amendment
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chinese-made cameras installed at a US Army base in Missouri have been removed because of potential 'negative perception' surrounding the equipment. That and there's the possibility that the Chinese government is watching
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Postal employee accused of burning twenty tubs of mail. NEWMAN
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The 101 Canal in Montecito is closed indefinitely
source: beta.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 13, 2018
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Former Farc rebels build hotel to recreate guerrilla life. So, just like your mom's basement?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
A poor woman's choice in America: give sexual favors or lose her home
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"The only thing running through my mind was, Lord, let me catch this baby"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
WATCH: Chilling video appears to show terrified Hawaiians hiding their kids in storm drains while Trump golfed
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Trump apparently shocked, SHOCKED to find out not every person on welfare is black. "Really? Then what are they?"
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
Nutella Kit-Kat anyone?
source: eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Tired of being in Florida Man's Shadow, Florida Woman shows stupidity to be the great equalizer
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bathing beauties
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sure, you see police chases every day, but how often does it involve a Greyhound bus?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Old: People fighting in a McDonald's. Florida: Employees pulling guns on each other in McDonald's (w/video)
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCEN TV Waco)
 
 
 
Missouri family: photo shoot done by amateur masquerading as pro made them look like LEGO space aliens. Counterpoint: family might be LEGO space aliens
source: kcentv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: A feature in a car or truck you would like to see
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman returns home from vacation to find strange family living in her house. Then Rod Serling begins speaking
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Millennials may be terrible, but they get arrested far less often than their parents did. Lazy underachievers
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
The TSA would like to remind you that lithium batteries, flammable liquids, and cats should not be put in your checked luggage
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
In praise of the flour tortilla, the most essential component to a good Mexican sandwich
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
For those Hawaii Farkers who just crapped their pants; it was a false alarm ... and you should probably buy new pants
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
From the Unnecessarily Expensive Food file: $180 tacos. Includes everything you'd expect: truffles, caviar, grasshopper, foie gras, wagyu be--wait, go back one
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
It's probably legal to record your neighbor's front door
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Living next to a church must be great. All those wonderful, god-fearing people around. Very peaceful and happy, right?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Upset that you didn't get a souvenir during your recent layover at the Newark Airport? Don't worry, you may have gotten the measles
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Robed Guy)
 
 
 
Canada is finally making witchcraft legal
source: narcity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Okay, now that everyone has their basic cable "sh*thole" boner taken care of, let's lay back and relax. Come on, baby, you can still say "sh*thole" just like Anderson Cooper while you take the Fark Weird News Quiz, 12/30-1/5 sh*thole edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this medical doohicky
source: szbesttool.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cosmopolitan)
 
 
 
Actual article explaining "How to tell if your cat loves you." Considering this is a Cosmopolitan link, it probably involves some weird sexual gymnastics that no one would ever try on Caturday
source: cosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXLH Helena)
 
 
 
Dewise charged with killing Dewife
source: kxlh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
Even CEOs in the food industry will tell you it's pretty much safe to ignore all the expiration dates on your foods
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
20-year-old man wins $450 million jackpot. Future plans include losing it all, going back to McDonald's in a couple of years
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Pineapples. Pineapples PINEAPPLES
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
California carpool cheat cited for Chucky Doll
source: kfiam640.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
199-MPH Sierra wind gust sets California record. For comparison, 140-mph winds have been known to pick up and hurl baseball-sized rocks
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Woman has new take on spraying acid in someone's face, in that she did it to herself and then tried to blame a non-existent black woman
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Trump administration hopes to renegotiate Iran nuclear deal but can't negotiate a farking mute button
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Final defendant in 'Basement of Horrors' pleads guilty. 'Parlor of Panic' and 'Utility Room of Dismay' cases still ongoing
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Trump gets clean bill of health from doctors* at Bethesda Naval Hospital (*No psychiatrists were present for this exam)
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Stan Lee's ceremonial puck-drop at Arizona Coyotes hockey game cancelled amid nurse harassment allegations. You may post your 'Jack Kirby got screwed jokes' to the right
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 12, 2018
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A man who was about to lose his restaurant after Hurricane Harvey has his fortunes turned around by his teenage daughter and Twitter, readily admits he doesn't even know what a Twitter is
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sioux City Journal)
 
 
 
Doesn't matter....had sex
source: siouxcityjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Firehouse)
 
 
 
PETA rewards firefighters for rescuing cow from frozen pond. Fark: With 'Vegan' jerky
source: firehouse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Leaks indicate Julian Assange's Ecuadorian citizenship offer actually an effort to purge lingering stank from embassy. Julian doesn't bathe "unless the people around him force him into the shower"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
"Man in Porsche carjacks Dodge Charger in Loop" says this totally not reversed headline
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
A second porn star has hit Trump Tower
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Owing to the fact that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr Day is Monday, and the state's observance of "Lee-Jackson Day" is Friday, several VA police departments are bracing for a ROUGH weekend
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Woman has her pregnancy photo shoot at Taco Bell since she craves it while she's pregnant. CPS is not certain if this is fetus abuse or not
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Wow, who knew ingesting laundry detergent would be bad for you?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Toddler overdoses for second time in three months. Jeez, what's with that kid?
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
I guess the search results didn't include how to delete browser history or clean the hard drive
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Central Maine)
 
 
 
Dog missing for five days is found alive in a snowbank. When asked how the ordeal was, the dog replied, "Rough"
source: centralmaine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wicked Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these, if you're old enough to know what they are
source: i.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
An Oklahoma game warden shoots an Elk to save its life
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Apparently if you eat tofu and aren't a vegan, that's cultural appropriation
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCBY Coos Bay)
 
 
 
Macadangdang banged
source: kcby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The world decides to send Trump pictures of their shiatholes. This is not a euphemism... or is it?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
And so it begins. Subby would like to remind you that the CEO of Nestlé is on record for claiming that access to water is not a human right
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Fires, floods, and plague. Did California build a false idol of Brad Goodman?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kenosha News)
 
 
 
Boy creates Build-A-Bow to beat bullying
source: kenoshanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Thieves steal a 400-pound ramp from a business in NE Portland. That will buy a lot of Sloe Gin Fizzes
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Trump Had lawyEr Pay adult film actrEss $130,000 to kEep Trump's sexuAl hookuP from prESs meRE dAys before the eLection
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Summit Daily)
 
 
 
New world record shotski set during Ullrfest at 2128.3 feet by 1266 drunks
source: summitdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
They're Canadians. You don't apologize to them
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
California chooses the nuclear option for nuclear power
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
A brain scientist explains why you black out when you drink too much alcohol. Fortunately, there are lots of wedding photos
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wicked Guy)
 
 
 
Doh nut photoshop this
source: media1.popsugar-assets.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
There's a secret musical instrument hidden in a NYC subway station. Whatever you do, don't put your lips anywhere near it
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State)
 
 
 
♪ I shot the coroner ♫
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
Boobies
 
Mobsters rounded up and arraigned: "Grumpy," "Porky," "Al Muscles," "Joe Valet," "Joey Blue Eyes" and "Boobsie." Wait, "Boobsie"? Really?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Queen Elizabeth II says that the crown could break your bloody neck. If that doesn't work, she could also stab you
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Finders, keepers, eh
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Gorilla numbers are up. And no, that's not just viewership on the Gorilla Channel
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
PSA: if your job title is not 'Train Engineer' you probably shouldn't drive on train tracks
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
How robo-call *RING RING RUNG* moguls outwit the *RING RING RING* government and wreck the *RING RING RING* do not call list
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
For being such a large metropolitan area, you'd think that Las Vegas would have a better sketch artist than this
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Fox News headline: "Laid-off Sam's Club employees reach out to BJ's for work." Desperate times call for desperate measures
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
"We have received reports that highly addictive substances will soon be circulating in our area ...This 'Cookie Cartel' s run primarily by young girls who lure you in with a good cause story"
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
This drunk man was spinning the police right round, right round 17 times around a roundabout
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Firefighters record man being swept away by mudslide in his Prius
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Ontario's government controlled liquor stores have concerns with craft brewer's new brew logo, saying it could leave shoppers with the impression that the beer has special healing powers. Wait, it's beer. It doesn't??
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Mom)
 
 
 
Photoshop this social media mom
source: d1a1adqkgrpi2j.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Baltimore)
 
 
 
Baltimore hospital CEO is profoundly sorry that you were offended by a woman wearing only a hospital gown being dumped curbside on a frigid night. Is also deeply apologetic and begs forgiveness for some bystander recording it on their cellphone
source: baltimore.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
So how does a 63-year-old woman dying of end stage cancer and no surviving family get a job to keep her benefits? Who would hire her?
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Suspected friend of dead guy says his scratches came from a "fight club" - oh geez, it's the FIRST DAMN RULE
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jewish Chronicle)
 
 
 
Columnist at El Nuevo Día, Puerto Rico's largest newspaper, discovers why recovery there is so slow: I bet the Jews did it
source: thejc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
You know the officer who arrested the teacher who dared to question the superintendent's exorbitant pay raise? Yeah, he's been investigated for excessive force before
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Coal mit uns
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Crime pro-tip -- when paying kickbacks to someone, A) don't write a check and B) don't write "Thank You" as the memo line
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Can Las Vegas motorists handle driving in rain? Don't bet on it
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 11, 2018
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
What has to be the most Atlanta - esque headline ever. Guess the Real Housewives, Hip Hop Atlanta, or Walking Dead crowd was too busy
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider (Australia))
 
 
 
Let those among us who haven't confused a sex party for a regular costume party cast the first stone
source: businessinsider.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
When you go black snow you'll never go back snow
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Probably not the best thing to be carrying when a determined police service dog is tracking you down, a) drugs, b) a bomb c) 3 club packs of stolen steaks
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
As many as 7 million American children may be impervious to x-ray vision
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
We've always wanted to break into our schools and smash all the windows. In Japan, it is part of your final exam
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Guy asks for internet's help with his girlfriend's fetish for giving him food she's already chewed up. My advice: Run away very very fast
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Michelle loved to shop at Goodwill, however she probably did not want her ashes to be donated there
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Toke they told me, pa rum pum pum pum. We brought you weed, you see pa rum pum pum pum. Our finest kush we bring pa rum pum pum pum. Oh that's not legal here? Pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salem Statesman-Journal)
 
 
 
In response to Oregon letting people pump their own gas, Officials tell Oregonians no more sex
source: statesmanjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
How can you tell you live in 2018 and not 1998? When headlines like "Porn Site Stole French Karate Teacher's Identity in Cryptocurrency Hustle" actually make sense
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Queensland Government has scrapped a requirement for gender to be shown on all driver's licences as well as eye and hair color. While subby understands he objects to being some grey amorphous mass of cells without any real identity
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"What's the problem, officer? Sure, I left my toddlers home alone, but the dogs were there to keep them from getting to the shotgun"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Dealmaker)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high-level negotiation
source: d1a1adqkgrpi2j.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Las Vegas man arrested after attacking his daughter with a jar of cheese dip. To be fair, it was Doritos cheese dip, so it's not like anyone was going to eat it
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
How much sexual innuendo can we fit into 30 seconds?
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Trump: I probably have a very good relationship with Kim Jung Un. #25th
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Darrell Issa (R-Amblinman) might just run for election in an easier district, handing 2 seats to Democrats instead of 1
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Residents of Black Tickle want you to know two things. First, don't make the island crossing on foot as the ice is not safe to cross. And second, we're an island dammit not a sex aid
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Autistic man finally gets long-awaited Tommy Pickles tattoo, after being forced to wait one thousand, eight hundred and twenty-five days
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Mother: My son told me you said he was going to get lynched if he didn't get back to work. Teacher: What? That's wrong. What I said was WAY worse than that
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Indiana one step closer to Sunday alcohol sales, hosting Fark data center
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Fourth-grade teacher tells class to name three good reasons for slavery. Pokemons, Santa's elves, and Oompa Loompas top list
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Apparently forcing kids to work at your fish market for free is not legal, even if you're doing it for Jesus
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida woman charged with animal abuse after pets found in 'deplorable conditions,' prompting Trump voters nationwide to start hoarding feces and dead cats to stiggit to the libs
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Detroit)
 
 
 
A man fired shots at a church because he believed it was secretly a covert alien spacecraft
source: detroit.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Florida bans leaving infants alone in cars, even if you crack the windows
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ghanaian river god bans girls from crossing its waters if they are menstruating or if it is a Tuesday
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this horrifying nightmare
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
236 sickened with norovirus at El Toro. You mess with the bull, you get the runs
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of San Diego)
 
 
 
Tonight, the San Diego Police Department will set up their first DUH (driving while high) checkpoint
source: timesofsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Loudwire)
 
 
 
Powerclown arrested in Japan for drug smuggling, running really weird Dominatrix service
source: loudwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DevonLive)
 
 
 
Punning headline writer a suspect in highway incident
source: devonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Butcher breaks himself out of -20C freezer with black pudding after getting locked in, which marks the first time black pudding has ever been used for something useful
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Having solved all crime, Britain's finest begin manhunt for suspect who drove through a puddle
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago could see highs in the 50s today and then freezing rain tonight, followed by a trainwreck tomorrow
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Indian Prince builds LGBTQ centre at his palace; hopes to be promoted to Queen
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRDO Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
After a 14-year-old student alleges sexual assault by a teacher, the school's leadership moves to terminate the... no? Well, at least they don't try to cover it up and retaliate against the-- they suspended the student, huh? (Link switched)
source: krdo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WV Gazette Mail)
 
 
 
30 year old man steals books and electronics from his University and sells them in his Amazon store. Man gets caught and is given five years probation. Man now has a job working for Amazon. TAA DAA
source: wvgazettemail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
It's funny how drinking 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but drinking 8 glasses of wine can be done in one meal
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Finger guns now forbidden in U.S. airports
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
FedEx worker discovers largest known prime number, immediately throws it against a wall
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Protip: When transporting $1.5 million worth of drugs, follow all traffic laws
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Queen Elizabeth II's official bra-fitter loses her "Royal Warrant" after publishing a book about her work. There. now try to get THAT image out of your head for the rest of the day
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
New Jersey man's houseboat gets stuck in solid ice. Thankfully not a euphemism
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KITV Honolulu)
 
 
 
Demi-god cashier, Chee-hooo
source: kitv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
House rejects sweeping surveillance reform. You were about to submit this, but it was intercepted via the NSA/Fark backdoor
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Members of Japan's infamous Yakuza gangs often get extremely elaborate full-body tattoos to signify their membership or status withing the gangs. Which also makes them REALLY easy to identify if they go on the run
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Pro-Tip: Casinos have really, REALLY good cameras. If you're going to rob one, at least wear a disguise or something (with REALLY good suspect pic)
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Couple accused of praising be in church parking lot. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. Yeah, him too
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gwinnett Daily Post)
 
 
 
Missing woman found decomposing in mall food court. We can assume everyone just thought the smell was coming from Sbarro
source: gwinnettdailypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Swiss government wants to make sure that lobsters are 'comfortably numb' before you cook them
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
You moved the cemetery, but you left the bodies, didn't you? You only moved the headstones
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Florida man gets into a boxing match with a bear...and loses big time
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Thomas Jefferson's kitchen has been found complete with America's first leftover mac & cheese, proving he was the O.G. bachelor
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amazon)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cat-eating machine thing
source: images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Wow 6EQUJ5
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"He was 21 and fit. He tried to push through the flu - and it killed him"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Canadian uses blowtorch to clear ice from front walk in the most Canadian headline of the day. At least so far
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Central Maine)
 
 
 
Warning about dive-bombing owl WHO attacks skiers WHO is trying to protect its nest
source: centralmaine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Sssssshh. I'm a bull shark, be vewy vewy quiet, I'm 'hunting' Chihuahas
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Governor Eric Greitens (R-evenge porn) apologizes for extramarital affair but not for blackmailing his mistress with a photo of her "show me state"
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Surprisingly, worst places to die includes inside burning house while being eaten alive by piranha fish in St. Petersburg
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Dumbest HOA ever gives up on free stuff from your garage policy
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Joke all you want about 7-11 clerks being illegal aliens, ICE just raided 98 of those shops throughout 17 states, netting 21 arrests, which statistically, is better than that wide DUI checkpoint net LEOs cast once in a while
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Burglar bangs his hoozads on shelf, sues shopkeeper for medical bills. Soon shelves everywhere will come with a warning label
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Before birth each soul knows all the secrets of heaven. At birth, an angel presses their fingertip just above one's lip, which seals us to silence. This accounts for the philtrum, or medial cleft. I don't know what's going on with this lady, though
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Wondering how the Bundys escaped justice? A short and clear explanation on how the prosecutors violated their constitutional rights
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 662: "Mmm Bokeh 4". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 10, 2018
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
New study suggests that those damn noisy humans need to shut the hell up so birds can focus on getting it on
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Your dog does not want this steak
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
NJ's status as the only state requiring full serve gas is in jeopardy, leaving MTV with a shortage of places to hold casting calls
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Sponsor for Wisconsin bill ending protections for wolves "doesn't think people would simply start blasting away at wolves" apparently hasn't spent a lot of time in Wisconsin
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The CIA arranged an affair for a king with an actress that produced a dwarf, and then things got all Game of Thrones
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Florida woman charged with slashing, stabbing and firing a gun at a man. She just needed punching him to complete the cycle
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(680 News Radio)
 
 
 
The cost of being a dumbass in Toronto is only C$100 -- which is only C$64,900 short of the cost to rescue her from the crane
source: 680news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Who hasn't stolen a tank and driven it into a supermarket? Why, yes, alcohol was involved
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Ever been so frustrated by a train delay that you wanted to make a bomb threat against the rail network? Well if you live in the UK we've got good news for you
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Prosecutors who don't just hinder justice - they actively work against it
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Speaking of bad HOAs. Arizona HOAs are foreclosing on homeowners at a record rate and the state legislature wants to make it even easier to do that
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Leafy)
 
 
 
Now that Canada is legalizing cannabis, they're trying to act real cool by using slang
source: leafly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Serious Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this serious deliberation
source: moneytalksnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You could now own a piece of Rome's 'mangy' Christmas tree
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
'Zelda' and 'Overwatch' are top PornHub searches for 2017. But if you ask me, they've got nothing on the man-boy relationship between Pit and the Eggplant Wizard
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
You can't drop a large chunk of yellow ice on this woman's house and tell her it is raining
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Obama's presidential library will be "socially regressive" and "privileges cars and people that can afford them" while failing to "improve train lines and public transportation infrastructure" according to 100 professors at the University of Chicago
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
And now, dancing goddess gifs. Alas, Homer's Boob Lady isn't among them
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Band teacher arrested in November for sending lewd photos of herself to a 13-year-old student has been re-arrested for sending nude pictures of herself to another student at another school. Band camp submissions see sudden drop off
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Washington, DC trolls Russia
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Weird: Prince Mitchell arrested for the murder of Prince Mitchell | Fark: HIS TWIN
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Scientists warn that a deadly virus is being excreted from macaque, causing five year olds everywhere to snicker uncontrollably
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Being caught on tape offering to hook your buddies up with your girlfriend to pay them back for lending you money to hire a hooker is a not only a real relationship killer, but, if your dad is the Prime Minister, it's also a national scandal
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tallahassee Democrat)
 
 
 
Florida man mistakenly thinks "taking the piss" is a literal concept
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Human fireball finds out what happens when cops use a taser and tear gas at the same time
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Can't resist the temptation of those delicious looking Tide pods? Try this recipe for an edible version
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Ice hotel catches on fire
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Astronaut blames "measurement mistake" after misrepresenting his growth. Subby usually blames the cold
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
The complete feminization of Great Barrier Reef sea turtles is possible, according to scientists and angry fedora-wearing male sea turtles
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
State's largest coal fired power plant on fire. Officials hope to have it under control sometime in 2056
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
If you read the NYC papers in 1994 you might remember that The Daily News claimed a black, lesbian activist faked her own rape in broad daylight in a public park. Now they'll have to claim she faked the DNA of the guy who did it
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this daredevil cleaner
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Newfoundland $1.5M lottery winner dies of cancer, reducing province's median wealth by over $25,000
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
Meth lab busted after police go to a house to interview someone with the most redneck-sounding name in Pennsyltucky
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBY San Luis Obispo)
 
 
 
Montecito death toll now at 15. Is it too soon yet to talk about mud control?
source: ksby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"I'll trade you my stepdaughter's puppy for some meth"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
'Mermaid tails' banned in local pools. Whale tails still ok
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Beware the 7 layer conspiracy
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Woman accidentally shoots her aunt's boyfriend while "horsing around." Excuse me, horses can't shoot people
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Post)
 
 
 
Christians said they saw a "sign from God" following a firebombing attack by Muslim militants that burned through much of the church interior but stopped at the open Bible on the altar, in a story that some are calling fake pews
source: christianpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AccuWeather)
 
 
 
2017 lightning deaths hit all-time record low in US thanks to actions taken by President Trump to attract all lightning strikes to himself
source: accuweather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle of Higher Education)
 
 
 
Pay off your student loans quicker by living rent-free
source: chronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Police said they were never called to the actual party. Or any party. They felt left out, so they arrested 70 people for less than what your grandmother has on her
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
There are bad HOAs, then there are horrible HOAs. Then you got HOAs like this one that redefine everything you thought you hated about HOAs
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Large black snake takes issue with driver in road rage incident, 'peers' at him through car window on highway. Yes, it's Australia
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Aussie flu is more severe than the Swine flu. Is there anything from that country which is not deadlier than if it came from anywhere else?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
More and more Americans are getting passports and travelling the world. Soon, no place will be safe from us. Muahahahah
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
When crashing your SUV along the Interstate, the scariest part is: A) Going Airborne? B) Crashing Through Fences? C) Landing on Pallets of Bee Hive Boxes?
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Someone has found a beheaded moose in remote Nevada. A BOLO has been put out for a flying squirrel wearing an old-timey pilot's helmet
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pervy pastor gets standing O for his apology for trying to give a 17-year-old a standing O 20 years ago
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a Normay"
source: mobile.twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Wrap)
 
 
 
Charlie Daniels issues grim warning to Taco Bell about the Illuminati... annddd that's enough internet for me for the day
source: thewrap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
There are those who draw penises in the dirt on the back of vans. Then there's this guy
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
"After stuffing the feminine products down his pants, he grabbed a cold beer, which he did purchase, according to the Sheriff's Office"
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
We'd kindly like to ask our patrons not have sex with the pizzas
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this still life
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Growing up, our drive-thru at the bank always had treats for our dog. Here's a bakery expanding on that idea a bit. Happy Woofday Wednesday
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Wisconsin unveils million-dollar ad campaign designed to lure millennials from Chicago after learning 'how young out-of-state residents viewed Wisconsin as beer, cheese and little else.'
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN can barely contain its excitement as a firm announces the search for MH370 is back on
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Apparently, the British drink enough tea to choke a turtle
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Police Unions are in favor of body cams, as long as no one actually gets to see the footage
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Snow plowed
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Windsor Star)
 
 
 
Alzheimer's Society declares Arts Program a rousing success, noting people keep coming back again and again to try it out
source: windsorstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Los Angeles swatting suspect about to be swatted with warrant from Calgary. (Hero tag is for Calgary police who talked to their swatting target and didn't shoot anybody)
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Having trouble getting women to sleep with you? Move to a rural area
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 New Orleans)
 
 
 
Intoxicated driver crashed his vehicle and sent another to the hospital with injuries. The condition of the hospitalized vehicle is unknown
source: fox8live.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
We can now add the name "Kevin Harrington" to the list of Russian moles in the Trump administration
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Hunter risks his life to rescue terrified deer trapped on frozen lake. Later tells reporters that it was delicious. (with video)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Trump spiritual advisor *snicker* wants you *cackle* to send her up to *LOL* 1 month's pay *guffaw* or face 'Consequences' *gasp* *eeeeeROFLMAO* *gasp*
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 09, 2018
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
World's best grandparents busted AGAIN while traveling through Nebraska
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Earthquake north of Honduras could result in tsunami hitting Puerto Rico and US Virgin Islands as soon as 12:30am Eastern Time. Goddammitsomuch! UPDATE: tsunami alert cancelled
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"MormonLeaks" and "FaithLeaks" are not your personal erotica sites. Unless you're really into whistleblowing
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Thousands potentially exposed to Hepatitis A at Utah 7-11, Fark parties
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Please note: your cunning plan of having someone hide your illegal guns may be overheard by police, especially if you're talking about on the phone from your jail cell
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Thai Prime Minister seem a little flat at press conferences
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Not a stable genius
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
"Someone stabbing a cop at Jack-in-the-Box? You don't hear that quite often". Quotable guy on the street didn't realize perp was his own brother
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adweek)
 
 
 
WNKY-TV's (Bowling Green) Radar The Weather Dog now frolicking atop nimbostratus and cumulonimbus formations. Next of kin continue Kentucky's dominance in broadcast of canine meteorology
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Step inside the orgasm lab where scientists (and fapping test subjects) are hard at work finding cures for insomnia, depression and the common cold (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Correction: In an earlier version of this article, the headline and first paragraph incorrectly said the man who broke into the restaurant ate pulled pork
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
When applying for a job with a police department, your chances of getting hired would be much better if you didn't just rob a bank
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Problem: parrots keep moving road cones. Solution: set up a gym for the parrots to use instead
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Owner of online retail company travels 500 miles to beat up customer who left a bad review. Now THAT'S customer service
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this truck hiding in the weeds
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
Boobies
 
Man who grew breasts after taking medication for Tourette's Syndrome gets a chance to get more than the $500,000 he was awarded for it. Shiat
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
California pulls stoned-driving ad after criticism. It seems some people thought a guy saying, "I love it" when referring to marijuana is somehow promoting its use
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Fark Headline of the Year results, plus how to dominate at submitting
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Virgin doesn't want the Daily Fail inside it
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
New Mexico lawmaker to file bill that would prohibit construction of border wall on New Mexico state land. Trump not worried as he only want to build wall on US soil
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If a stranger bares her chest to get you to follow her, you should always assume it's a trap
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
♪ What rolls down roads, and over your toes, and onto your Toyota's hood? With a snap and a crack, it'll break your back, it's log, log, log ♪
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Standardizing Testing and Accountability Before Large Elections Giving Electors Necessary Information for Unobstructed Selection Act
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Please stand clear of the gaping hole where the Monorail's doors should be
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: "Warning" labels
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
TSA reveals strangest items found in 2017, including Satan's pizza cutter, a rifle-shaped umbrella, and Demogorgon's ice cream scoop
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Senate)
 
NewsFlash
 
Diane Feinstein: Suck it, Chuck. *releases Fusion GPS testimony* (LGT transcript PDF). Some content NSFW
source: feinstein.senate.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
My son needs to be excused from prison today. He has to go to school and then has a hockey game. Signed, Convicted Pedophile Conner Neurauter's Mom
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Snow strands thousands of tourists in Switzerland who are in Switzerland for the snow
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Let's grab a bag of fresh oysters and have them raw, they said. What's the worst that could happen, they said?
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Now that fire season is over in California, it is time for mudslide season. Mmmm, mudslides
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Customs seizes nearly $55,000 worth of Air Gordans
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
Teacher: "Umm, we haven't gotten a pay raise in 30 years, why should you get one, Mr. Superintendent?" Superintendent: "Cuff her"
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Barefoot young man steals police car for beer run. All that for a 40?
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Man demonstrates how to clean a handgun by showing exactly what not to do
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Best Korea pledges to send a team to cheerleaders to this year's Winter Olympics. I'm not sure they've completely grasped the concept of cheerleading, but at least there'll be a lot of them. And boy will they be synchronised
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Someone is painting purple tacos all over Dallas and no one knows why
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
I think we just found the academia equivalent of doing a cartwheel in a bikini
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
The British did not choose wisely at the Battle of New Orleans. This is a repeat from 1812
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2017 Headline of the Year contests
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: Beach Edition
source: franklinarts.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Florida man's pants contain: a.) rack of ribs, b.) mashed potatoes, c.) fried chicken, d.) car keys, e.) all of the above
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Willamette Week)
 
 
 
Portland's top officials say it's OK for police to go through your garbage as it becomes 'public property' when you throw it out. Local rag decides to go through garbage of Portland's top officials to see what they throw out. Hilarity ensues
source: wweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
SpaceX secret payload Zuma burned up in the atmosphere
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
Video
 
Your daily dose of 'Awwwww': Video of a barnyard cat and a baby cow nuzzling each other
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Serial criminal makes poor tattoo choice
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The latest food to feel guilty about enjoying is **spins wheels** rotisserie chicken from the supermarket
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Russia's Syrian airbase was actually attacked by a swarm of drones. The Oracle could not be reached for comment
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PsyPost)
 
 
 
Study finds that narcissists tend to follow other narcissists on Instagram, because of course they want to follow me
source: psypost.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL Baltimore)
 
 
 
Baltimorons be like: I think I'll thaw my frozen pipes with a blowtorch. What's the worst that can happen?
source: wbal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
You may live off the grid if you are a bearded hipster, but if you are a bearded Amish, you can be court ordered to use electricity, and of course, pay your new electric bills
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
A flu pandemic would kill us all
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Jamie Lee Curtis arrested after chase
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yakima Herald Republic)
 
 
 
"Two horses and six dogs have been evacuated, but four dogs, 120 chickens, two turkeys and a duck still remain"
source: yakimaherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 08, 2018
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
N a t i o n a l...Z o o ' s...t w o...t o e d...s l o t h...p a s s e s...a w a y...a f t e r...f o r t y...s i x...y e a r s..., p r e s u m a b l y...t o...f o l l o w...her...d r e a m s
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Finally I can get started on that Mickey Mouse hentai
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Busted pipes create 20-story 'mother of all icicles' in Chicago
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Irony claims 75 boats as "Just Add Water" succumbs to fire
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Where there's smoke, there's fire... also weed
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Why the word "ninja" should never be used in a job title. Fark screen names still acceptable, though
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(680 News Radio)
 
 
 
"Cougar hunt in Alberta sparks debate among scientists, hunters and activists", college aged males
source: 680news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
When JFK has a meltdown and you're about to lose your mind, somehow watching this very pleasant flight attendant just doing his job is the balm you need to keep going
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Today's word of the day: "Brumation." (Bonus: alligators sticking their freakin' SNOUTS through ice to breathe)
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
There's waking from a bad dream and there's waking to find the nightmare is just starting
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
French President Macron: Look at my horse. My horse is amazing. Give it a lick. Xi Jinping: It tastes just like raisins
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Real life Kylo Ren is taking his workplace temper tantrums straight to imperial arbitration
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Man arrested in DC trying to pick up 9.4 pounds of marijuana delivered to wrong address
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tucson.com)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you're in the bathroom dropping a deuce and your spouse barges in upset about something? How about if he/she starts shooting at you?
source: tucson.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Historian finds what appears to be pressed flower from Lincoln's casket. This means my Jurassic Park/Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter crossover is one step closer to reality
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Good idea *click* Picking up spare change on your daily walk. Bad idea: *click* picking up spare grenades on your daily walk
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Photoshop this descent into madness
source: media.wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New York's annual 'No Pants Subway Ride' suffers a bit of shrinkage this year
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
Recovery of missing duck hunters hindered by ice, snickering dog
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Cat wins longest hide-and-go-seek contest ever
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) is almost all Oldies night as we feature songs from the 2nd half of the 1950's. The show will end with a mini-tribute to Moody Blues co-founder Ray Thomas
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Man finds good use for his frozen pool
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Someone has created a 'Virtual Reality Gas Pump Training Program' for Oregonians
source: pixogroup.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
And what's the deeeal with Hitler, huh? Have you seen this guy? Have you heard about this guy? Amirite? Amirite? Wow, what a great audience
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat. "OK, I'll kill my mother"
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ynet)
 
 
 
Not to be outdone by the Trump children Israeli Prime Minster Bibi Netanyahu's son gets caught at a strip club on tape telling the son of a gas executive: My dad helped your dad get a 20 billion shekel oil deal, give me 400 for a stripper
source: ynetnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
There are so many hookers in Thailand, they are *literally* falling from the sky (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Humpback whale allegedly saves 63-year old whale researcher from a 20-foot Tiger Shark while snorkeling
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Reason #3368 why the human race deserves the apocalypse: Extreme Scooting
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Extra Crispy)
 
 
 
Avocado toast millennials, you have no idea how much you owe to ancient sloth poops
source: extracrispy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Y'all Qaeda case dismissed with prejudice
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Look at me...I'm as headless as a tuna in a tree
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this backwards hat on someone interesting
source: ottocap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Something tells me that this kid doesn't like homework, not sure what I just can't put my finger on it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
Judge: The court will now hear the prosecution's opening statement. You may proceed. Prosecution: Baaaaaaa
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
@TheRichKidsofTehran may help explain why people are rioting in Iran
source: