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Sun December 24, 2017
(Hyperallergic)
 
 
 
Have a creepy little Christmas with these unsettling Victorian cards. Come and see Santa abducting kids, stay for the Christmas goats
source: hyperallergic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Canuck With a Lot of Beer)
 
 
 
Ninety-nine cans of beer in the case, ninety-nine cans of beer. Take one oot and pass it aboot, ninety-eight cans of beer in the case
source: dailyhive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Go Erie)
 
 
 
Widow asks son for a heart monitor after monthly electric utility bill hits $284 billion. Jeez, unplug the Christmas lights, Mom
source: goerie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Will the real reborn Jesus please step forward so we can write off the rest of these heathens from around the world?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Women used to be much, much hotter
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg (assets))
 
 
 
Photoshop this demonstration of what we call a "laser"
source: assets.bwbx.io   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSMH19)
 
 
 
Even on Christmas Eve... reset the clock
source: wsmh19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Your dog wants Doritos, Taco Bell, Cheetos, Funyuns, and maybe a nice steak, too
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rare.us)
 
 
 
What better celebrates Christmas than a low rider '62 Impala playing in the snow?
source: rare.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
100-year-old barmaid reveals her secret to long life, and yes, it includes alcohol
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you rely on a blind mystic to help you make your upcoming year decisions, you are in luck. It's time for annual twisting Baba Vanga's ramblings to match events in the new year
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The same social media company that saw no signs of Russian election influence quickly suspends account of guy with dying wife due to all the attention it's getting
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy doggo
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deccan Chronicle)
 
 
 
Researchers at the Ric Romero Institute of Gender Studies announce that alcohol increases the tendency of men to objectify women
source: deccanchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Western Star)
 
 
 
Perfectly normal man has Christmas tradition of not opening present his high school girlfriend gave him 47 years ago
source: thewesternstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"He also lost track of the number of elevators"
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The NYPD set a record in 2017 by shooting the lowest number of people in the department's history
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
New contact detected in search for vanished Argentine submarine. Unclear whether it was one ping or two
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
You might be Australian if...
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Ten beers of the world you must try before you die. Probably best to decide on a case by case basis
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mountain Xpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this proud twig beetle expert
source: mountainx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Santa Claus)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: What Christmas "traditions" in your family seem odd to your friends?
source: newstribune.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
German Navy takes delivery of the first of a brand new class of frigate, discovers that it's a lemon with a starboard list and electrical gremlins. Fark: And they return it to the shipyard
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
OMG it's a baby sea turtle running on a teeny, tiny treadmill
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
If Jesus were alive today, where would he spend Christmas? Well, the closest we have to his Bethlehem is this refugee camp on the isle of Lesbos
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRN Nashville)
 
 
 
When do you think you admit to yourself you have a drug problem? Do you think it's when you land in the hospital for smoking bug spray?
source: wkrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Deadly wildfire northwest of Los Angeles is now the largest in California history
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Yo, I heard you like riding motorcycles so I put a motorcycle on your motorcycle
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Newman finally goes off the deep end
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Another year, another round of "Let's remember the true meaning of Christmas" lectures from the media
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Teenager kills his girlfriend's parents after they called him an "outspoken neo-Nazi"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 23, 2017
(Metro)
 
 
 
Injured 8-year-old dog gets rewarded with special Christmas bone-us at work for a job well done
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Take a terrifying look at a future US without pensions
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Store owner learns that if you hand out food to a hungry beggar she's likely to show back up with her kids
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The reason McCabe was mentioned to not be working with the FBI? He is a witness. And he's testified. Also why the clown has been making a lot of noise this weekend to distract
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Come for the bear meat hot dish, stay for the winter water skiing. It's the most Minnesota news story roundup ever
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. You know Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. But do you recall the most famous reindeer of ... wait, what? Okay, guys, scratch numbers two and three. They won't be joining us tonight. Sorry"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Traffic stop reveals mom in trunk, meth in baby's diaper. Difficulty: Not Florida
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Contractor review: no stars. Took $41,000, didn't finish the work, hired a hit man to kill me when I complained. Would not recommend
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Get your Flu 'Shops early
source: seniorhealth365.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Come meet the largest private landowners in America. The largest of which owns a) 2,000 acres b) 20,000 acres c) 2.2 MILLION ACRES
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Not this guy after Outlaw police chief gets restraining order against him
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
PSA: If you're carrying 1,000 joints on you and you're in a big hurry to get home make sure that 'taxi' you just hopped into isn't actually a police car
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Ash from the California wildfire is making drinking water in the state toxic
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
North Korea says it will make the US bitterly regret its strategy. We have a strategy?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Modesto Bee)
 
 
 
Made for Fark headline: Man fighting for his life after chasing monkey that stole his favorite hat
source: modbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Cyclist paints 80 mile virtual snowman using GPS. Farkers immediately leap onto bikes, look for routes that look vaguely like amusing body parts
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this kitchen
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
If you think the Fox News website is getting more unhinged, people at Fox agree with you
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
A leaning tower in Pisa? Pretty cool. A leaning skyscraper in San Francisco? Not so cool
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Crime blogger faces felony charges for being a crime blogger
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
I'm walkin' here: The tourist's guide to New York sidewalks
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Good news for kids: Merging storm systems could deliver white Christmas from Great Lakes to Maine. Bad news for adults: Merging storm systems could deliver white Christmas from Great Lakes to Maine
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
As of Jan. 1, it's lights out for incandescent bulbs in California
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Just how fat and out-of-shape have American teenagers become? The Navy is having to "relax" fitness standards just to keep the fleet manned
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
There is a strange noise coming from a forest in British Columbia that is either moose, an elk, Sasquatch, or aliens
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Not really sure why anyone would think this was a good idea in the first place... but, hey, peoples be stoopid, ya know?
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
How did we as a society survive before the invention of USB sticks to go, butter in a chapstick tube so you can more easily apply it to your bread, and a grater shaped like a guitar so you can rock out while shredding cheese
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Not news: United losing luggages. News: United losing a 92-year-old woman. (Remember to tag your bags)
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Southwest Airlines flight attendant goes extra mile, reports father to police as human trafficking his adopted daughter because kid's Asian
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
As a child, Subby wanted to be an otter when he grew up and here's why: Otter playing with Labs
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
If you found a stray Aardvark wandering the street, the Llondon Zzoo would like it back
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Oh nothing. Just a severe increase of Russian submarine activity around the transoceanic cables that carry the internet across the Atlantic
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
It's important to have one lifestyle habit that may be viewed as 'hardcore' by the rest of the world, but is meaningful to you. And that's why I won't turn on my heater until I can see my breath inside my home
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
According to court documents, five people are attempting to claim Charles Manson's body. Cult leaders are all the rage these days. Who wouldn't want a stuffed lunatic for your foyer, anyway?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press And Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy hunter in the heather
source: pressandjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
On your next flight, don't order the fish ...in fact don't order anything
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Everyone get comfortable, it's time for Caturday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
Weeners
 
MostlyStr8
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Use this handy calculator to find out how stretched out your rectum may be after the new Republican tax plan goes into effect
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Web Urbanist)
 
 
 
Satan Claus
source: weburbanist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
How do you stop a bull elephant from charging? Either A) take away his credit card, or B) just calmly stand your ground like this tour guide did
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
All that Viking purity and mythology is... a little off the mark; as always, real history is a whole lot more complex and intriguing
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
Weeners
 
Rub it in, rub it in
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
We visit the London Underground or Tube, as the natives call it, on the next episode of "Ow, my balls"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Amtrak decided not to remove dangerous curve in order to save money. Several passengers no longer available for comment
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 22, 2017
(The American Conservative)
 
 
 
This Christmas, be a Who, and sing with joy no matter what life may throw at you
source: theamericanconservative.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
The keys to a successful business are knowing your customers, bringing your product to where they are to maximize sales, and minimizing expenses. Since you had to go see your Parole Officer anyway, that makes the choice obvious
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Sheriff's statement after four deputies kill female suspect and 6-year-old kid: "Something in the way that suspect presented to the deputies placed these deputies in direct fear for their lives...At the time, we don't believe she was armed"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
This may come as a shock, but it turns out the CEO of the Miss America pageant may be a misogynist
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
"Just so you know, I gave everybody the holiday weekend off." Not a bad idea, boss, but when you're in charge of clearing snow in Billings, Montana, I don't think you thought your cunning plan all the way through
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Bruce McCandless, the first human satellite, and first space jetpack pilot, assumes permanent orbit among the stars at 80
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Put down the controller. Experts say you can be addicted to video games
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg (assets))
 
 
 
Photoshop this high hangout
source: assets.bwbx.io   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Ken Ham calls out Fox News, among others, for lying and misrepresenting facts. Subby is so confused. Please hold me
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Row, row, row your boat / Through the bus windscreen / Scarily, scarily, scarily, scarily / Hear the schoolkids scream
source: cheknews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
There's calling the cops after your weed gets stolen stupid and then there's calling the cops and accusing them of stealing your weed stupid
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Voice)
 
 
 
Guy barges into police HQ and demands to know why woman was arrested. Why yes, as a matter of fact, he did have an open warrant
source: northernhighlands.dailyvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Flight attendant has been working 61 years, will retire when she finally finds her luggage
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
In 2017 we learned honest people swear more, somebody stole Eintstein's brain, and a Harvard scientist came up with a plan to find aliens on a goat farm
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Potential terror attack at San Francisco's Pier 39 busted up by the FBI
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg (assets))
 
 
 
Photoshop this starry, starry night
source: assets.bwbx.io   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
A restaurant gives you clams that you think are too small. Do you: A) Complain B) Just eat them C) Call 911
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
TSA agents are still rejecting District of Columbia drivers' licenses, which of course were modified to make them TSA compliant for air travel. No word if New Mexico is still one of the 50 states
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJZZ Tempe)
 
 
 
This is what happens when thousands of chickens move next door to you and there's nothing you can do about it
source: kjzz.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
Man attacks airplane passenger, insults him during the flight, chases him at the airport after landing and stabs him in the chest at a parking lot - and all of that because of the victim's stinky socks
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Ohio parents give teachers wine bearing photos of their son printed with "Our Child Might Be The Reason you Drink So Enjoy This Bottle On Us"
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Third suspected organ found in water treatment plant. While police don't know what kind of organ it is, they can point to a lot of pipes
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Rocky Raccoon, crept into the room, and proceeded to attack the sleeping baby
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Merry Christmas. You're nicked
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Now is the time to winterize your car. First, you need some antifreeze, snow tires, onions, and potatoes, new wipers... wait what?
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
If you see a bloodhound with a vest that says POLICE wandering around, the CT Troopers would like you to give them a call
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
And... it's gone
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Ever forget to fill out a few forms and miss out on getting $6.5 million?
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
"Reason for the season? Gettysburg HOA says Jesus sign must go"
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this island paradise
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Sorry to break the bad news, but you've been wrapping presents all wrong
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
There is dumb, and then there is "Attempting a home invasion of the vice president of the NRA" dumb
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
During the trial of a man accused of groping a woman at a Christmas party, a judge has to ask what "Thot" means. Apparently, he isn't familiar with the ranks held by members of the Breen in the Star Trek universe
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Court is all like "Buzzfeed gotsta protect source of that dossier thing" and Russian is all "ha ha I don't need it anyway" and rejected and stuff
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
"Turns out we provided armed security for a cartel wedding"
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
If you were still on the fence about just how awful the Trump administration can be, this may help clear things up you. Also, the fark is wrong with you?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Abandoned cheese shop starting to stink up entire NYC block
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Las Vegas metro police captain goes missing at 2 a.m. But nothing scary has happened in Vegas recently, so I'm sure it's nothing
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Your roommate stinks up your apartment with his smoking. Do you C: cut off his head and penis after stabbing him 40 times? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Hey did you know you were using these 30 everyday objects wrong all along?
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Comey told McCabe about his conversations with Trump. McCabe passed it on to others at the FBI. Lordy I hope there are tapes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Republicans leading the attack on the Mueller investigation are coordinating with the White House. Hmmm, what would that be called?
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Veterans Administration has been hiring health care providers with revoked licenses for the last 15 years. Thanks for your service
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
So what exactly do Fox News viewers watch when they're not watching Fox News?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 21, 2017
(Metro)
 
 
 
"I was discriminated against." "That's terrible. Was it because of your race, religion, gender, sexuality, or age?" "Even worse: my shopping cart"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Federal judge dismisses emoluments lawsuit
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
Weeners
 
Man with the world's second biggest penis accuses the self-declared record holder of cheating (NSFW)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Rolling Christmas monstrosity nets $230 fine, Fark fame
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A man has ordered his girlfriend to turn down a promotion because her larger salary would 'humiliate' him. In related news: A man with a high pitched voice is searching for a new girlfriend
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Well, SOMEthing was exposed
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mexican YouTube star who told one of the country's most dangerous drug lords to "suck my dick" was shot 18 times in a brutal bar execution (graphic image warning)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Birth tourism causes huge surge in Saipan Anchor Babies. Coincidentally, that's the name of my cover band. Be sure to come check us out at the South Pacific Lounge tonight, cover is only $5 and well vodak is only $1
source: numbersusa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
That real Christmas tree that you dragged inside your house... did you examine it thoroughly?
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Drunkin' Donuts
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man dresses as train seat on the underground, asks people to 'sit on it'
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
This New Year's you should eat long noodles because the longer the noodle, the longer you'll live. And also eat bagels because their circular shape represent the year coming full circle. And if you're still hungry eat a whole fish
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these soldiers
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
I mean, who doesn't want a trophy wife?
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Facebook drops the "disputed" flag intended to alert people to possible fake news--because their research has shown, in the minds of those that fall for such things, that flag just makes it MORE believable because THEY Say it's fake
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
For your feel good story of the day, Maine waitress gets $200 tip. Oh, and John Travolta shops at TJ Maxx
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Alabama gets the first squadron of F-35 jets. Wonder what Alabama did to piss off the Air Force?
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Australian submarine wins the prize for being most "down under" thing in Australia
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Best grandparents ever. And I'm sure all will agree they deserve the "Hero" tag
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Shoulder driving coming to I-90. Jeez, and I get pulled over when I try to drive with my feet
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Canada spends as much on marijuana as on wine. Still lags behind on purchases of bacon, maple syrup and Labatt's
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these diamonds
source: zionsvillelittleleague.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man with a phobia of Warner Bros. cartoon character Tasmanian Devil accuses his father-in-law of wearing a toupee that looks like the cartoon, then chasing him around while wearing it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Georgia Power decides to continue construction of Vogtle nuclear reactors just to get them to stop reciting their poetry
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Tennesseans won't be able to buy wine and liquor around the major holidays, repair Fark servers
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
T'was the night before Christmas and ahhhhhh
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
US life expectancy declines for the second year in a row. Creator of deep fried opiods mystified
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man accused of stealing $26,000 in gold bars from kitty litter box. Before you mock, ask yourself-when was the last time you dug through someone else's litter box looking for gold?
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Are you having a bad day? You should be, and not just because it's you
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Drunken road raging while driving a school bus full of kids is not something most of us would ever think of doing. This guy on the other hand, well, he said fark it, why not
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
All of Germany's submarines might be non-operational, but at least NATO can rely on Britain's storied Royal Navy to . . . be tied up at the pier. Crap
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
For the true carnivore this holiday season, Arby's is rewarding their meat lovers with limited-edition "Meat Sweats." Mmmmmm... Meat Sweats
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Retired police officer with terminal cancer gets big surprise for his last Christmas
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Worst Korean businesswoman avoids jail time following airplane rage incident over packaged nuts. Best Koreans still unsure what is meant by "avoids jail time", "airplane" or "nuts"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUWT)
 
 
 
"If Silicon Valley green tech giants have their way, real meat will become an unaffordable carbon taxed luxury item eaten by the very rich. The rest of us will have to eat "meatless meat" - meat flavoured mashed vegetables, lab grown tissue cultures"
source: wattsupwiththat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Maine Warden Service wants to warn everyone that the ice on lakes and ponds is still too thin to land a Maine Warden Service plane on
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
And yet another new source for FARK headlines
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this classic movie lobbycard
source: 1.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
8-year-old boy banned from Christmas concert because his hair was all Kid-n-Play
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
After accusing her of the crime before investigating it, Florida police now say they will not charge Venus Williams in fatal car crash
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
And the most influential person in the media is...Steve Doocy?
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Damn, Arizona. Just get your flu shot
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chico Enterprise Record)
 
 
 
California's carbon cap helped reduce emissions by five percent, thanks to non-renewable energy
source: chicoer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman shoots neighbor's dog who then rushed the dog to the vet, who was also the neighbor who allegedly shot her dog. There's a complicated riddle in there somewhere
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Operation Three Stooges
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Fun-loving Canadian rich kid turns to murder, like one does when they're handed everything. Finally, a guy worse than Bieber
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
12 people injured as car mows down pedestrians outside Melbourne's Flinders Street station
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colorado Springs Gazette)
 
 
 
Couple decides selling four pounds of pot and using the proceeds to buy an SUV they saw on Craigslist is too much trouble and offer to trade instead. And it would've worked, too, if it hadn't had been for that meddling sheriff who owned the SUV
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
If you are attending a 'shop with a cop' program, you may want to think twice about shoplifting
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJZZ Tempe)
 
 
 
Because it's a nasty, inedible substance?
source: kjzz.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Splinter News)
 
 
 
President Trump's Christmas cards are so big that he himself can't hold them in his small hands. Bonus: Either Melania Trump's handwriting is strangely similar to her husband's, or the President decided to sign for the First Lady as well
source: splinternews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Police advise women to avoid rape by staying indoors or going outside only with an escort. Is it A: Saudi Arabia, B: Egypt, or C: Sweden?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 659: "Seasons' Greetings 10". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 20, 2017
(Vox)
 
 
 
Turns out, baby boomers ruined America. Sorry about the blame, millennials
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Tennessee man wrongly jailed for 31 years finally gets exonerated
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Judge declares mistrial over Nevada armed standoff by Cliven Bundy, sons Ryan, Ammon, militia leader Ryan Payne because federal prosecutors screwed up again
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Pft. Amateurs. This is a Monday morning for the average Farker
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fast Company)
 
 
 
Australian town reveals the world's first Sooooooooooooool Traaaaaaain
source: fastcompany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Abominable Snowman arrested for drunk driving in Oregon, claims "Grinch set me up"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Apparently Kim Jong Un sneaked into one of subby's family's previous Christmas parties
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scuba Santa
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man with world's longest penis now registered as disabled human tripod. (Not safe for work)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJZZ Tempe)
 
 
 
Arizona, which was among the last states to observe Martin Luther King Day, may name freeway after him
source: kjzz.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Minnesota man MAY get a new trial after two jurors admit that they were influenced by a fellow juror's "look, he is a black person with a previous criminal record living in North Minneapolis. You know he's just a banger from the hood, so he's got to be guilty" argument
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Pope Francis to preside over ex-Boston cardinal Bernard Law's funeral, soon as he figures out what's Latin for "Nothing to see here, move along"
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The Grinch will not be stealing Christmas this year, thanks to a 5-year-old boy and 911
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
This season's Swedish Ice Hotel is now open for business, and HOLY HELL how are you supposed to get any sleep in Room Three??
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
This story's run so many times, I'm starting to think the Navy is trying to sell T-shirts
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Your honor, it is completely out of character for my client to steal a car, go to a Motel 6, run from the cops, get arrested, slip out of hand cuffs, and beat the arresting officer. We ask for light bail
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission would like to remind you all once again that your Christmas tree is a murderous pyrotechnical booby trap detonated by milk and cookies while you sleep
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: A more believable press secretary
source: southernfan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Canada's Trudeau contravened ethics rules with visit to Aga Khan island. Aga Khan, Aga Khan, Aga Khan Aga Khan, let me rock you Let me rock you, Aga Khan
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Rudolph, Santa puppets from 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' classic TV special listed on eBay for $10 million
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
"Drinking and ready to pull the trigger" is no way to head into the holidays
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Puerto Rico.... You remember Puerto Rico? An island with nearly three and a half million American citizens? Devastated by a hurricane and almost completely ignored by the POTUS?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Someone has spent almost a decade analyzing Bob Dylan's Xmas lights on his Malibu home, here is his analysis of his 2017 display. The restraining order will be announced tomorrow
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Describe TFD to Liters using 4 words or less
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
The 17 most Florida things that happened in 2017
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
France passes law to ban all oil and gas production by 2040. France, the world's 71st leading oil producer at 15k barrels per day. We hear heavyweights Slovenia and Lithuania will follow suit
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTXS Abilene)
 
 
 
Community shocked to learn assistant principal can afford prostitutes
source: ktxs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Screaming 'F*** off, I'm an honours student' won't fly on this airline
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Palm Springs to remove stand of trees at golf course that were put there so that 1960s golfers didn't have to look at black people
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this speedster cyclist
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Do dogs need winter coats? This cleverly disguised advertisement from the 'buy coats for dogs' foundation says yes. It's your Woofday Wednesday
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Man gets sick and tired of porch thieves stealing his Amazon deliveries, so he invents TheBlankBox - a box that fires a blank shotgun shell when someone tries to lift it
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Lgb, Lgt, Lbt, Gbt
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Better Call Heywood Jablome
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
The latest data breach leaked personal information, including Experian records, for 123 million American households. On the bright side, that's only 98% of households in the US, so technically, it could have been worse
source: zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN interviews the Navy pilot who witnessed the streetlight from this weekend's video release
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Cardinal Law passes away at 86
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Member of well regulated militia pleads guilty to fatally shooting boyfriend in YouTube stunt
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
"After 20 years and two children my beloved wife decided to become a porn star against my wishes"
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Belgian woman who personally helped 250 downed Allied airmen escape Nazi occupied Europe has died at age 96
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
After Colorado man's "F*ck Nazis" sign is stolen from his yard, he rebuilds bigger and better. "The day I take down this sign is the day I take down the American flag." Can't Fark have a Hero tag for more than one kind of hero?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
It must be trial run train wreck week
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Since the Keystone Pipeline worked out so well, let's just double down and put one under the Potomac River
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Wow. That's gay. That is soooo gay. That's gayer than a gay unicorn puking a rainbow on Richard Simmons. That's gayer than a penis flavoured lollipop. That's gayer than a guy riding a bicycle with no seat. OK, maybe not that gay. But pretty gay
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
If you lost a emaciated, balding dog with a mysterious tattoo then San Antonio Animal Care Services would like a word with you
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 19, 2017
(WBAY Green Bay)
 
 
 
Hold my beer. I'm gonna be the first person to drive across the lake this winter
source: wbay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Users of New Crack are joining unions to protect their safety (while they still use). Classic Crack users still choosing the "getting arrested or shot" option
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The latest in international propaganda that might just work....Do you want free Choco Pies for life? The all you have to do is run across the Korean DMZ into South Korea and make it across safely and you may be a winner. Oh my
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Google confirms all New Zealanders are sheep shaggers
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
Every single U-boat is out of action, leaving the German navy with no working subs. This is not a repeat from 1945
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Ever just feel like digging a hole, crawling into it, and never coming out? Look this guy up
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Sailors at sea aboard the aircraft carrier USS Gerald R. Ford get special screening of The Last Jedi, demand to know why the ship's namesake was killed off in the previous movie
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Can you really be called a nudist if you don't take off your socks?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
It's that time of year for stories of anonymous people dropping precious metals, gems in Salvation Army kettles instead of feeding the poor, reading to the elderly, visiting with family, friends, isolated people because that's hard work
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
Who is more stupid? The police for tweeting out their plans to arrest a spy in a few days or the spy who still got caught?
source: asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Journal)
 
 
 
Man claims he had no idea he backed into bicycle officer and thought it was just a random dude firing shots at him
source: edmontonjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Quiz: Whose rules are more complicated, the NFL or the US Senate?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A new painting of Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh and Consort to the British Monarch, has been unveiled -- improve it, Farkers
source: e3.365dm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Well, look on the bright side, Mr. President: it says right here you don't fark goats
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Columbia, SC to ban bump stocks. Bumping uglies with cousins still legal
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRIC Richmond)
 
 
 
A hotel charges a woman $350 after she posts a negative review online
source: wric.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
It's a common business situation: the toxic workplace is 'out of control,' managers are running back and forth without telling anyone anything, and everyone's locked down to limit the spread of radioactivity
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Man charged with DUI manslaughter after passenger ejected in Land O'Lakes crash. How the driver managed to stay inside the car while slicked down with butter, no one knows
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
A married hedge-funder wooed his beauty-pageant mistress with the promise of an ostrich farm in Uganda - only to gift her with an STD instead
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Net neutrality's impact on free porn could be significant, experts say. Seriously, EVERYONE PANIC
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Soldier driving by Seattle train crash as it happened rescues grandmother left hanging from train car window
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Oh yeah. War's a-comin': After Saudi forces shoot down a missile aimed at the royal palace launched by Iranian-backed Houthi rebels, UAE's foreign minister says "with every Iranian missile launched it becomes clear that the storm is necessary"
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
"I was standing up here waiting on the Madison bus on Western, and a guy came up naked," witness Lutisha Gibson said. "Before I knew it, he slapped a lady and walked across the street, then I heard a shot"
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Charlottesville police chief retires, plans to open Tiki bar
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Homeland Security agent points gun at boss during performance review. Well, I feel safer already
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this small step
source: c.o0bg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Which raises the question: What will we find at his house?
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The Earth dodged at least six apocalypses in 2017
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
If you're in jail for drinking and driving, don't call your drunk friend to bail you out
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
Russian cosmonaut says what space smells like
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Record-breaking baby born in East Tennessee spent 24 years as frozen embryo
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Amtrak's new high speed flying train was moving at high speed during crash
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Diplomat)
 
 
 
China unveils world's fastest, fully-armed Roomba
source: thediplomat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Sea turtle found trapped in 800 kilos of floating cocaine. What the fark can even be said about that
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone: the government is going to let us start working with highly contagious germs again
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
For all of you who say you want a porg, do you really want to clean up after the thing? Tear yourself away from the Star Wars thread, it's the Weekly Weird News Quiz 12/9-12/15 Hot Dog Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Day care worker accused of burning 5 toddlers with hot glue gun, will never finish that nativity scene now
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was sleeping for fear of being murdered in their beds by this hellish creature
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this departure to fun
source: oxygene-organisation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
"Hello. We are the Brussels Sprout Police. You have been accused of eating seven sprouts, 1 above the legal amount. Please do not resist and come with us down to the station"
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
What to do when Queen Elizabeth springs a leak? Depends
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
If you're going to shoot at a couple of power plant workers out in the middle of the desert, don't wear shoes made out of recycled tires that can easily be traced back to you
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
Predatory payday loan style home loan refinancing vultures are targeting veterans for their ripoff schemes
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Daily Mail found the most stupidly tacky mansion in the Hollywood Hills and it's on sale for only $10 million
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Can't sleep, sheep will eat me
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colombia Reports)
 
 
 
Apparently, if you go to Colombia and break several majors laws for five years, they just give you a plane ticket home
source: colombiareports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canadian death panel decides to ruin Christmas
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
"Medical marijuana is safe in Arizona"
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Disney's Hall of Presidents unleashes animatronic Donald Trump
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Wall Street tycoons ruining everything. The New Hotness: Technology tycoons ruining everything. Sensing a pattern here - it's almost as if... the richest... become the most detached from society... and that they need a smackdown
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
You would expect an airline to not give a damn about a major traffic issue like the train crash in Washington. But then you wouldn't be Alaska Airlines
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Let's look at what most American History classes aren't teaching
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Draining the swamp in California. Trump gets to pick a new judge for the 9th Circuit. Pervert Alex Kozinski retires abruptly after being called out for being a sexual deviant
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Not news: Rape kits tested. News: 11,341 that were abandoned. Fark: 817 serial rapists identified. Ultrafark: In one county
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 18, 2017
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
End of days comes for Ohio man's 'zombie Nativity' scene
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You think Uber has issues in the US
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
You can get hired as an unarmed security guard for the 2018 Super Bowl. Yes, really. You. And me. And Bob
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Collider)
 
 
 
Okay peoples, you've had the weekend to see it , now we get to talk about it. This is YOUR mod-sanctioned, mod approved Star Wars: The Last Jedi YOU CAN POST SPOILERS HERE thread. Spoilers to the left, Spoilers to the right
source: collider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Please note: calling the police to raid your own house may have consequences
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsChannel 5 Nashville)
 
 
 
Child porn found on man's cell phone. His face considered probable cause
source: newschannel5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Nevada wants a quick review of the execution drugs scheduled to be used on death row inmate--seems they're about to expire. Maybe we could test it on some hipsters; they love old stuff
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Scientists propose new method of detecting planets orbiting Alpha Centauri. Although how we're supposed to build a ship and get settlers there before the game ends in 2020 remains a mystery
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Center for Biotech Info)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone. Eating more than a half serving a day of red meat is no longer bad for you. Subby and his dog both want steak
source: ncbi.nlm.nih.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
Now all they need is a 100-foot-long match
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I'm not saying it was a UFO, but it was probably a UFO
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: The Farking War on Christmas
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
The beginner's guide to edibles - not that Farkers need a beginner's guide, but maybe your grandma would be interested
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high-flying daredevil
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Come one, come all, to the Edison Mall, for the XMas brawl. 4 vs 1. Big vs small. At the Edison Mall we have it all. Come see a mom with a stroller kick a woman in the face, then abandon the child for a beat down race
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Attorney visited jail to make porn with inmate, sheriff says. (w/ mugshots)
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Have any plans to eat placenta over the holidays? You might want to read this first. And also not do that
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
FARK 2017 On Paul's Memory Bank tonight (8PM ET) a musical (mostly) tribute to some who passed during 2017
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Embarrassing: Being caught by police behind a shopping plaza while on a date. FARK: Your date is only 11 years old. Double-FARK: Your date is also a relative
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Public flirting, body-hugging clothing and three other really odd NYC laws you're probably breaking multiple times a day
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
"The upwelling we detected is like a hot air balloon, and we infer that something is rising up through the deeper part of our planet under New England." Finally, God has had it with the Patriots
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hurriyet Daily News)
 
 
 
Today's "crazy Muslim cleric says something stupid" story is from Turkey, where he'd like you to know that clean shaven men, like women, are wicked tempters
source: hurriyetdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Muslim's lawsuit against Little Caesars for selling non-halal pepperoni dropped after racist threats. Lawsuit against non-edible pizza still moving forward
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Vatican rules that body parts of saints cannot be sold. This will come as a disappointment for Farkers looking for pieces of St. Bibiana
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Track attacked Todd over truck. "Communication was attempted which failed due to Track yelling and calling myself and other officers peasants and telling us to lay our guns on the ground before approaching the residence"
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
'Where to go for bottomless mimosas in Central Florida.' Don't listen, the last time I took my pants off while drinking I got tasered
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Iceland decides Bibles should have mental health warning stickers on them if they're gonna be sold
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Ok but seriously what do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common?
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these snowmobilers
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Chik-fil-A serves food on Sunday to people stranded by Atlanta airport blackout
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Baby boy born with extra penis on his back. Could make for some great slow dancing when he grows up
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
George Lucas' one criticism of The Last Jedi: too many real sets instead of CGI
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Baby Jesus' head, arm stolen from Nativity scene, presumably by someone practicing to kill zombies
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
'Significant' security incident at UK air base. Threat level raised to What's All This Then
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Is 'Phantom Swift' the high tech aircraft Boeing is about to reveal? No, I'm pretty sure that's Becky
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
The top 10 health questions everyone googled this year before heading off to annoy the doctor with their 'knowledge'
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Reminder: commas are the difference between, "Let's eat, mom," and "Let's eat mom"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Caption this old-time Santa
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
The Seahawks aren't the only train wreck in Seattle thanks to Amtrak
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
This Atlanta airport employee sliding down a crowded escalator was everyone's hero during the outage chaos
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Tom Hanks sends family a typewriter as early Christmas gift -- but there are conditions. They have to write at least one letter a week and buy a typewriter for someone else. Doesn't really sound like a present
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Why do your Christmas lights always get tangled? Here comes the science
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this HOT LAVA
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of Israel)
 
 
 
Pose for a picture with Miss Israel? Now your family has to flee the country
source: timesofisrael.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Instagram)
 
 
 
Time to kick off a bad tattoo thread. Link goes to horrific choice
source: instagram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Conceal-carry permit holder murders man in Target parking lot
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
The Palin legacy continues with the next generation
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian people problems
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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