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| Sun December 17, 2017 |
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If your Christmas order was in this USPS truck, it may be late and flat
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The final Boeing 747 U.S. commercial flight happens this week. Farewell, big guy
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Meanwhile, at story hour down at the library
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Bad apologies are worse than no apologies
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this plinth harboring some art
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"The concern was that it was aluminum foil and it had wires sticking out of it and it was making a beeping sound so we were kind of concerned it could be a bomb," said Police Captain Ida Nowaddabomblookslike
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If you're reading this headline in California, put down the damned phone and concentrate on your driving
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Merry Crabstmas
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Airline finally kicks out a passenger who truly deserved it
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Flying through Atlanta? In a hurry? Well...someone pulled the plug and now all flights are canceled. Bummer, dude
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Photoshop this nut-grabbing tit
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It's nearly Christmas, so here's your annual Daily Mail article that shows the shocking behavior of people who just want to have a good time during the holidays
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Iguana these damn lizards outta here
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Authorities investigating death of Canadians worth $3.7 billion or about $19.95 in U.S. money
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It's called "phantom debt" and it's a scourge bedeviling millions of Americans. Here's the story of one man who fought back -- with a vengeance
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We tried four brands of eggnog ... so you didn't have to. Seriously, who drinks this stuff?
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Star Wars Spoilers Reminder: A reminder about spoilers. Spoiler alert: they're not cool
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Moose rescued after getting tangled in swing set; no word on whether Farmers Insurance was involved
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Good news, everyone: It's not just NATO aircraft that hotshot Russian pilots like to buzz
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Pet monkey stolen, man with the yellow hat left devastated
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Egypt reopens the ancient library at Sinai, unveiling it's ancient secrets
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Photoshop this unbearable scene
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CSB Sunday Morning: Weird gifts
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So why do we put oranges in Christmas stockings, anyway?
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🎶 Rocky raccoon, crawled in, it went boom. 🎶 Power went out for ten thousand. 🎶
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Manson's entire estate of Swastika carving knives and Terry Melcher voodoo dolls has been left to a prison pen pal
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Annual gun buyback nets a bazooka, two tanks, and a rail-gun. The tanks were a pain, always having to move them for parking. And they get only a half mile to the gallon
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As China ratchets up its anti-terror campaign, thousands of Muslims disappear without trial. Jeff Sessions seen sitting atop his enchanted tree, taking notes
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Hello, 911? Yeah, I'm stuck in a chimney. Well, it's not my chimney. Um, can we not go into that? Also, please don't send the cops
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If you spend $150 on a website promising "reindeer food," "snow from the North Pole," and a "real letter from Santa for your child," why are you shocked to learn you've been duped?
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"Seattle flight T-311, taxi to runway 2 left, and await further instructions, over." "Roger, tower, T-311 taxiing to 2 left, approaching final takeoff position HOLY SH*T WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"
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Hoboken Police Chief live tweets SantaCon arrests
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Trump administration expands their 1984-inspired thought control strategy, gives multiple Health and Human Services divisions instructions on replacing ungood words with designated politically-correct newspeak terms
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AL.com achieves the impossible and somehow comes up with a ranking of "The Ten Most Redneck Counties in Alabama"
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| Sat December 16, 2017 |
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Another nation full of those evil Democratic Socialists has voted to treat drug addiction as a medical issue instead of a crime. Won't somebody think of the prisons?
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Principal photography wraps up at Queens high school
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Streetlight has U.S. military baffled
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Stoners explain why they prefer crappy weed (shake). Because they're stoners?
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| (Retronaut) |
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Photoshop this Demon photoshoot
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Arizona state senator proposes bill to outlaw the advocacy of legalizing marijuana on billboards in the state
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Boy, 14, empties mom's bank account playing FIFA on Playstation. That kid deserves a good, swift kick
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We're pretty laid back here
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Over the last 100 years, the most popular boy's name in America have been James, John, and Robert. The 100th most popular name is Logan. Milo still begging to get noticed
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Photoshop these baby-pushers
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70 years ago, this is how Scotch was distilled and bottled
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Yee-haw, let's go tree huntin'
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That's not a speed bump - THIS is a speed bump
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Cell phones, which were considered dangerous, then safe to use, are once again dangerous according to state that puts carcinogenic labels on everything
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Meanwhile, in Detroit...
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Younglings, if you suck at dating, the problem is not you. It's evolution. ..and the fact that you have no communication skills
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Sorry, mayor. Can't give you the keys to the mayor's office. Maybe you should have thought about that before being black
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Now that's what I call pennies from heaven
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The Salvation Army has received far less donations than they normally do. Guess people aren't living in Generous City anymore
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Photoshop this FABULOUS hair
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BBC embarrassed after airing footage of man at concert waving a BBC in the air (not safe for work)
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Yeah, humans are gross on the Internets. REALLY gross. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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Eye see it's time for Caturday
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Take a break from your troubles and stress and enjoy the winners of the 2017 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards
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They are called the GREEN Berets for a reason
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See with your eyes not your ha... Oh
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"County commissioner accused of sexual harassment was previously investigated for spanking female students while he was a high school club adviser"
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Looks like you women were wrong. Reports of sexual harrassment at Fox News were "nonsense" according to Rupert Murdoch. It was just some flirting
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Shouldn't tap that
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And your mom wasn't mentioned once
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City transit systems channel Douglas Adams, say they love the sound of missed safety deadlines as they go whooshing by
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Guy doesn't like that his girlfriend is a stripper so he. A) Helps her find a new job. B) Offers to pay her way. C) Torches the club she works for
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| Fri December 15, 2017 |
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Doctor helps former patient deliver baby at gas station. Parents to name the child Ethel
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Best Korea unveils its new domestic streaming video app. Sit down with the family and catch up on past seasons of "The Walking Kims", "Better Call Un" and "Gilmore Traffic girls"
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Slovenia, Slovakia, Whatever
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Ib Melchior, call your office
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Study shows ketamine relieves suicidal thoughts, increases urge to make love to the giant marshmallow outside your RV
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Stolen $10K Louis Vuitton purse returned with apology note, possibly as thief refuses to be seen in public with anything other than Hermès or Chanel, you unsophisticated barbarians
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Spinal Tap needs a new drummer
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Scotland's booze is going up in price--by a lot
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Hey did you just fart or is there a dead mouse in my dashboard?
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*Beedle-oop* *door slam*
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Photoshop these cold and lonely explorers
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Mysterious grass-covered man hides in bathroom at senior citizen center prepping for new season of American Horror Stories audition
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"Butte porch pirate caught on video"
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Ambulance use drops as Uber popularity grows, study finds
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Scientist claims we'll stop drinking alcohol and deleting Politics tabs within a generation
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Pub in Galway, Ireland looking for the strong woman who yanked one of their steel bollards straight out of the ground. Warn that she should be approached with caution as she may yank your bollard too
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Can we haz caption contest?
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When performing surgery it is important for the patient to be sedated. The anesthesiologist, not so much
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Gee, its almost as if kids were only smoking pot because it ticked off their parents
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Workers at hip club and pizza shop found to be workers at hep club and pizza shop
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Photoshop evidence of aliens for the scientists to find
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No longer news: Two men get married in Ireland. Fark: neither is gay
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Actual headline: Pensioner tries to batter cock after it kept him up all night
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Why Americans don't eat horse meat like many other cultures
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Battle flags captured during the obscure Korean-American war of 1871 discovered hidden at U.S. Naval Academy. Americans may have forgotten about the war but:North Korea claims it was started by Kim Jong Un's great great grandfather
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Oh, the huge irony
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Strong quake hits Java - deaths, collapsed buildings, tsunami warning
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Arrrrrrrrrrrh mateys, lets board this new 200ft super yacht that's modelled on a 17th century pirate ship and commandeer some dingys
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Woman who survived horrific crash believes God spared her life. Of course, logically, we must now infer that God killed the other woman who died in it
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Today's Fark-ready headline: Man stranded on lake fountain after stolen swan boat drifts away
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Prince Harry has organised his wedding on the same day as British soccer's cup final. This news has gone down as well as you might expect
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If only we could have known the New Mexico school shooter, who went by the online aliases "Adam Lanza" and "Future Mass Shooter," would become a killer
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People in Abilene, Kansas can breathe a sigh of relief as a bear associated with a candy factory there has been found
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Damn near killed 'em
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop her giving a good paddling
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UberEATS now delivers from McDonald's, since your Uber driver already makes those fries while working his other job
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Victoria's Secret robbers used stun guns, mace, got away with $1500 in merchandise. What's that, like five thongs?
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Why Millennials are facing the scariest financial future of any generation since the Great Depression (Warning: the first page might give you a seizure, scrolling through the article may give you finger cramps)
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Canadian politician wants to treat ordinary innocent people who put peanut butter on their genitals in the general vicinity of a golden retriever the same as criminals who have intercourse with dogs
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Australia's wide ranging inquiry into institutional child sex abuse has recommended that Catholic priests be allowed to have more sex. Perhaps without the kids this time
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TD: "After 10 months, do you really need your $846,000? Sorry about that, it's released. We cool?" Herbert: "I'm driving as fast as I can"
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In 5 years since Sandy Hook: 1,576 mass shootings; 1,788 people (at least) killed in those shootings; 6,333 wounded (at least) in those shootings. Less than 1% of our population. Sorry you got killed Aunt Bertha but you're just 1 person
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Elon Musk dislikes public transportation because it doesn't start when you want it to start, it doesn't go where you want it to go, and there might be a serial killer standing right next to you
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Good god, he's losing Fox News fans
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I'm sorry, floral what? (Possibly NSFW)
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Lindsey Graham lays odds on all-out war with North Korea
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The UN warns we're going to sleepwalk to war with North Korea
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Russia may be starting to bomb US forces in Syria...on purpose
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Leaked Mormon documents reveal that Mormons believe that "self-masturbation" leads to homosexual and criminal behavior. No word on what other forms of masturbation are available besides self
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Relax, nazis. James Fields no longer faces second degree murder charges. He got an upgrade
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| Thu December 14, 2017 |
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Replace your father's vodak with water? That's a shootin
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So how do you save a parking space? This woman found a new way
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Sheep in nativity scene picks Baby Jesus out of manger to cuddle, Mary forced to defend her baby at all costs
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Happens to me all the time. One minute I'm digging in trash bins, the next I lean against a door and stumble upon €300,000
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Anonymous person donates $86 million in bitcoin to charity. So shines a good deed in a weary world
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This business is getting out of control
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♫ On the first day of Christmas my nana bought for me, some g-strings for a Christmas tree ♫
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Photoshop this drum dance
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"Kansas police hope to change perception of pit bulls with new drug detective"
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You could click the link to see what the most popular audiobook of the year was, but if you listened to it you probably don't give a fark
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| (Snitches get stitches) |
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Toastmasters group thriving inside Arizona prison. So, you're telling me there is a more eloquent way of saying 'shank the snitch'?
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All aboard survive after plane crashes in Fond-du-Lac after not being Fond-du-Flight
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Article suggests "make cannabis-infused chocolate gelt for an adult game of dreidel this Hanukkah". Where to find a rabbi to verify that your cannabis is kosher not mentioned
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Technology at its best: Dublin, Ireland spends €368million on a high-tech tram that is slower for commuters than walking
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Yes, yes, new New Star Cores thingy. Before you head off to stand in line for 8 hours in a silly costume to see Jar Jar fight the Klingons and a couple of hundred walking toy commercials, take the Weird News Quiz 12/3-12/8 Merchandising Edition
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The Force is strong with...a bag of shredded lettuce
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UPS: "We seem to have lost your $846,000. Sorry about that. Here's $35. We cool?"
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Photoshop this raincheck
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"Yo, I'm a cop, gimme a discount." "B*tch, you no cop, Imma callin' the real cops." "Fark, didn't think this through, I'm out." "Hold up, b*tch, I'm a real cop, you got the right to remain silent." "Fark me" Submitter may have imagined this dialogue
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Wawa is opening its first store in Washington DC. It will feature interactive digital screens-where customers can upload photos and messages that will flicker inside the store. What could possibly go wrong?
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Driver calls ambulance after seeing person sitting still on park bench and covered in snow. Hilarity ensues
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Bionic hand inspired by Star Wars allows man to play piano, help buddy escape from crime lord, attract lightning bolts, reconnect with estranged father
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Did you use Google, Facebook, Microsoft, or Apple last Tuesday? If so, Russia probably has your password
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Prescription for bipolar disorder: Have as much sex as you can handle
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A 'Large possum' caused massive power outage, and huge explosion in Rio Rancho, Corrales
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A cow escapes from a nativity manger twice at a Philadelphia church. A spokescow states that "Stormy" is an atheist and objects to being used against her beliefs
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FCC votes to (Please pay $5 to read rest of the headline)
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Shoeless suspect asks for the death penalty after calling 911 and demanding entry to the building because he left his probation papers behind. And some condoms
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Not news: It is a misdemeanor to curse in public in Virginia. News: State Delegate Michael Webert (R) is pushing to have the law stricken. Fark: He's from Fauquier county, so it's important to his constituents. Fark filters neutral on the subject
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'Tis the season to adopt a giant constrictor
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Disney buys 21st Century Fox for $52.4 billion, which means they'll own the "Alien" franchise, which means that the Xenomorphs born from the Queen are now actually Disney Princesses. Let that sink in for a minute
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NJ estate up for auction is like a crack whore East Coast version of Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch
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In other news, someone in Davenport, Iowa owned a Ferrari
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"As a doctor, I am sick of the health care freeloaders. The majority of my patients are on government-funded health care and never worked a day in their lives. I provide these freeloaders with life-saving therapies like vaccinations and antibiotics"
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Verizon is allowing us to watch their execution of the internet live
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Hey, it's cold
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1 in 4 teens will die just like Becky did
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Photoshop this car port
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"And then, just over a month after she died, Margaret Basco submitted a comment to the Federal Communications Commission about its proposal to overturn net neutrality"
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2 million citizens wrote in to the FCC to demand an end to net neutrality. Your government hears you and will work toward that end. In possibly related news, 2 million citizens' identities were stolen and used to submit fake comments to the FCC
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Roger Stone's go-between with Wikileaks will testify Friday. "Testify" is an English word meaning "plead the Fifth Amendment, which is not available in Russia"
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This is why you shouldn't put Christmas lights on palm trees
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Now we will never know why the bear was trying to cross the road
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Keaton Jones Update; bullied boy has facial scar because he was born with cranio-facial tumor. In a touching move, Keaton's dad shaved his own head as a display of support for his fellow neo-Nazis
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Media outlets are having to fight in the courts for any information at all about the Las Vegas shooting
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20 years ago: " If Trump goes to Moscow, I think America will follow"
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How desperate do you have to be to want to shut down the whole FBI? Find out now on Fox News
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Trumpers are "taking the culture back" by giving Starbucks money... again
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Gawker alumni start crowdfunding to outbid Peter Thiel for control of Gawker's archives. Link goes to the Kickstarter campaign. Support the lesser evil
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Any ATM is a drive thru if you try hard enough
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Police were looking for a 40-year-old suspected in a stabbing. They couldn't find her, but since they were there, figured they'd handcuff an 11-year-old girl at gunpoint
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Who brings lube, Sprite and chicken alfredo to attract a minor for sex? When you see the mugshot you'll know it's this guy
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 658: "Foods". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed December 13, 2017 |
| (ANSFZ) |
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A sloth at the Animal World and Snake Farm Zoo in Texas has given birth to a baby sloth. The zoo is having a contest to choose a name for the baby. Difficulty: No SlothyMcSlothface
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Hero two-year-old brother jumps in to beat up his older sister's wrestling opponent after he thought she was in a real fight
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More college presidents than ever before have joined the Millionaire's Club, which should give you some comfort and pride as you struggle to pay back your student loans
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So you want to attract hummingbirds to your garden, eh? Try flying the Canadian flag
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Man who gained fame for crude Rick and Morty courtroom exchange gets life, also goes to prison
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"You want something to eat before your flight?" "No thanks, I'm sure I can get a bite on the plane"
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Airbus test crew and German air traffic control to Navy pilots drawing a dick in the sky: hold our Glühwein and watch this
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That guy working on the ATM for four hours may not be there to fix it
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University College London said it chose its words 'very poorly' when it tweeted are you "Dreaming of a white campus"? when they were referring to snow
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Photoshop a Farkworthy Christmas tree
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Pieces of US military helicopters keep falling on schools in Okinawa
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Florida's Polar Express is when a freight train halves a stalled semi filled with shrimp & bacon; "Some people are so hungry they'll wash it off. Everybody needs something. It's Christmas"
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With someone pooping on so many lawns in this town, police admit they don't have much to go on
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World Health Organization says medical marijuana has no public health risks and should not be withheld from patients, World Health Organization officials
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The BBC covers the CIA's guide for office warfare. Now, you too can be a saboteur though inefficiency, complaining, and potentially hiding behind the copy machine with a makeshift garrote constructed from office supplies
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If your kid gets a drone for Christmas, remember to register their name, address, email, and ID number with the government. Or if you don't like paperwork you could get them a nice AR-15
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Aquarium finds novel way to keep nativity scene safe from vandals
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Yes, every great artist should sign their masterpieces, but hold on there, liver surgeon
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Bad: a couple boards your Flight with a pair of fussy babies. Good: they considerately pass out noise cancelling headphones to the other passengers. Holy Shiat: it's George and Amal Clooney
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these selfie snappers
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A probable cause affidavit states the man told officers his wife, Taylor Swift, "told me to kill him"
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Hip-hop grandpa dressed as an elf brings cheer to everyone
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Meat may soon be taxed to fight greenhouse gas emissions. You'd think they'd go after cabbage first
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Another year, another lineup featuring ridiculous Williams-Sonoma Christmas merchandise. Includes floaters and SMEG, for extra LOLs
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Orcas near South Africa learn how to flip endangered Great White Sharks to make them helpless, then eat their livers. Only about 2000 Great Whites left in the wild. In other news, Great White shark livers are delicious
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Much like your mother, Detroit expects to get 5 to 8 inches tonight
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Oklahoma City zoo got a hippopotamus for Christmas. Gayla Peevey was there and approves
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California's Skirball Fire caused by illegal cooking fire at homeless camp. "It does appear as if people were sleeping and cooking in that area. The fire department was not aware of this encampment prior to the fire"
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It's that time of year again when people send you these bricks of fruit called fruitcakes during the holidays, but what exactly are they?
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Forget "The Last Jedi" - let's all remember the time Harrison Ford was forced to spend Christmas with Chewbacca's dysfunctional, sex-crazed family
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Seriously, how can somebody forget a baby by the sidewalk?
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If you eat brussels sprouts for some reason, you could spend up to 1000% more
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this athletic effort
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Broadway dog confused by Cats. Enjoy your Woofday Wednesday
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Sheriff's department apologizes for photo showing a needle with the caption: "NARCAN: Robbing Darwin of his bountiful harvest since 1971"
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Kim Jong-Un will profit off of Bitcoin rather handsomely (possible nsfw content on page)
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Roy Moore once again refuses to take "no" for an answer
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Robot carries Olympic torch in South Korea. Robot expected to do well in the "taking away jobs" marathon event
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Getting boozed-up by drinking donated wine left by parents and chowing down the pellet food of the school's pet guinea pig is no way to enjoy the holidays, teacher (possible nsfw content on page)
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Would-be burglar doesn't get anything, gives moon instead (NSFW video moment of the moon)
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U.S.: "Absolutely, positively, definitely no talks until you lose the Nukes." Best Korea: "Nuh-uh." Rex Tillerson: *BLINK*
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From the "Fat Chance" Department - If you picked up any bank robbery cash thrown on 15 Freeway, police would like it back
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Australian town had one job to do for its 150th birthday celebration: remember the actual date
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| Tue December 12, 2017 |
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You want Jurassic Park? Because that's how you get Jurassic Park
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Hey, baby. Wanna come back to my Pepco substation?
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And now some good news: London's Euston station to turn into homeless shelter for 200 people on Christmas Day
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Roy Moore banned from National Mall
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I'm a shaaaaark, I'm a shaaaaark, enjoy your honeymoon, I'm a shaaaaark
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Study from Italy finds that stubbornness increases life expectancy. Subby want to know where they found Italians who weren't stubborn for the control group
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NYC bomb suspect sent Trump a warning, but nobody noticed since it was on Facebook instead of Twitter
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If you've been putting off your online holiday shopping, get yer butt in gear. UPS, FedEx, DHL are already running days late
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"And if you come this way, you can see some famous artifacts from early human history and over here some famous paintings from the renaissance era...and now here is a 130 ton fatberg that was found in the sewers"
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Policeman crashes car while off duty and takes off running wearing nothing but his birthday suit. That's a promoting
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this whole park
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Robotic device helps paralyzed patients walk. Shoulder-mounted cannon still in development
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Here comes Santa B, here comes Santa B, paying layaway at Walmart
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Car-ma
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Texan woman dumps her trash in a Colorado parking lot, discovers that the internet and police love making people like her famous
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After the dinosaurs, giant penguins ruled the earth
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Butte Fire Department reported the fire started in the rear and then spread throughout
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| (Some Guy) |
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Article asks "should we cook for our dogs?". Your dog wants steak...rare...with a banana cream reduction and peanut butter garnish
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Naked man running along highway near Dulles airport, looking for TSA agent with warm hands
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The racist mother who had the stupid idea to go viral with her bullied son, then was not racist, is actually indeed racist...and stupid. Subby hopes the GoFundMe money will cover all the therapy sessions her poor son will need
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When you make a £100 bet with your boyfriend stating that he wouldn't be able to limit his booze intake to just one glass a night until Christmas, make sure you specify the size of the glass
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25,000 climate scientists fly to New Orleans for booze, strippers and the American Geophysical Union's fall meeting, emitting 30,000 tons of CO2 in the process
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Kentucky lawmaker molested his daughter's friend, cops closed the case, press did some digging, lawmakers from both parties want him to resign, but Gov. Matt Bevin (R-epulsive) says "hold on there"
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$100 a gram. Oh wait, that's cop math. Make it $10 a gram
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Has Banksy finally been revealed?
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Photoshop this tree-trimmer
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Man runs back into burning building to save A: His children? B: His pets? or C: His phone?
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Breitbart has a pre-written web page template for when a conservative or alt-right pol gets accused of sexual assault or misconduct... and it was accidentally made live on their site for a few minutes today
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Well, that's a new way of getting fired from a teaching job
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"What are you in for?" "Murder. You?" "Armed robbery. What about you?" "Bark, bark"
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It's time to play media fear-mongering MadLibs. Your (common object) contains (number) times more bacteria than a toilet seat
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Former Hindu-turned Christian 'prophet' says he visited Heaven last year and knew Trump would be elected because "The people of Heaven decided he would." In other news, tickets to Hell increasing in popularity
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$10 beer pong bet turns into $15.6 million settlement
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According to study, more motorists die on a full moon, which is no surprise since it's very hard to drive and expose your bare arse at the same time
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Don't you just hate it when you fire your shotgun at someone and that person was imaginary?
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Fire caused by air conditioner. You had ONE job
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Charles "wrong way" Jenkins, a U.S. soldier who defected TO North Korea in 1965 to avoid the Vietnam war, and was tortured and held captive there until 2005, has passed away at age 77
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Britain's new public enemy number one revealed as...... *spins wheel*.... Peppa Pig
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Ex-Facebook exec: We control the horizontal and the vertical. We can shape your vision to anything our imagination can conceive. For the foreseeable future, we will control all that you see and hear
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Bagpiper concert raises money for wounded police officer. Hasn't he suffered enough?
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Son of Sam needs emergency heart surgery. No word on whether his dog is his healthcare proxy
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Today's Fark-ready headline: "Smokers who get boob jobs have a high risk of their nipples falling off - but blood-sucking LEECHES can save them"
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Merriam-Webster's: Our 2017 word of the year is "Feminism." "Menninism" still not a thing
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Police use amusing social media posts to help catch criminals. "Jorts-wearing suspect" not amused
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Photoshop this happy hiker
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Charles Manson died of cardiac arrest brought on by colon cancer. So, he suffered
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"Florida man urinates in middle of Steak 'n Shake in front of dozens of customers"
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San Francisco mayor Ed Lee heads off to the great sanctuary city in the sky
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Kim Jong Un just needs to commit apartheid to have his "Crimes Against Humanity" scorecard all checked off
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DeVos to defrauded students: Fark you
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People in Iceland really take their elves seriously
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Yellowstone's bighorns are suffering from a scab-causing virus spread during mating season
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Drunk driver tells the cops that his name is Burger King. He then proceeds to introduce his wife, Wendy, his son Carl Jr., and the Five Guys in his trunk
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Dog named Rascal finds his forever home. After losing 85% of his blood to FLEA infestation. Previous owner finally being charged
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If you accidentally tase a cop, you should at least get him a cake
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PSA: Looting houses in empty, fire-evacuated neighborhoods is sure to draw someone's attention. Especially if you're doing it while under the influence
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Woman gets kicked off Spirit Airlines flight for a) smoking, b) raging, c) breastfeeding
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Remember the good old days when all you had to worry about was your babysitter stealing from your change bowl and raiding the liquor cabinet while you were out?
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Update: No one can figure out what the fark is going on with the Kimberly Jones/bullying/MMA/racism mashup on Facebook and Instagram
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China announces plans to recreate Shakespeare's birthplace of Stratford-upon-Avon. Next: will announce plans to recreate Charles Dickens' birthplace, Walt Whitman's birthplace, Stephanie Meyer's birthplace
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Fark NotNewsletter: It's time to vote... for Fark headlines
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Asshats who tried to blow up mosque are seeking "Trump Voters" to serve on Jury
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Caller reports teenagers driving around in police cruiser. Department promises Officer Rock is over 21, a bit flattered
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Photoshop this pyramid
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Tonight on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) as we wind down 2017 we see what kind of deranged individual subby is by listening to the top 33 songs on his iPhone
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We replaced this package sitting on a front porch with a box rigged with firecrackers. Let's see if anyone notices
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"I will kill everybody on this plane" - quote from (a) terrorist, (b) suicidal pilot, (c) Oregon woman who was busted for smoking in the lavatory
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What do you do with a drunken sailor? 10 1/2 pounds of Meth said the jailer? Bonus PSA - never look up spiced rum on Urban Dictionary
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Florida man learns the hard way that the phrase "don't pour gasoline on a fire" is not just an idiom
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'Cocoa turns electrical boxes into art.' That's nothing, you should see what it can do to milk
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The official Vladimir Putin 2018 calendar is out
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We've finally found out what happened to Obama's Magic Weather Machine. It turns out that Kim Jong Un has it. Thanks Obama
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Photoshop these stalks
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Baby milk maker issues global recall over salmonella fears. See, this is why you have to practice food safety when milking babies
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Convicted serial killer Todd Kohlhepp says there are many more victims who have not been discovered and he's in no mood to talk about them
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Comic strip assignment about Hitler's rise raises questions at Gurnee school. Like, was Hitler really a pony?
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Port Authority bomb suspect rode subway from Brooklyn to Manhattan blast site
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Want to become famous by recording viral videos of yourself doing dangerous stunts on tall buildings? Just remember, for every skyrocketing star, there's one going down quickly
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Someone fetch my fainting couch: Yet another scary Russian military program is probably vaporware
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Meet the 8th highest-grossing YouTube "star," a 6-year-old who earned $11 Million un-boxing and playing with toys. Also, BareFark is still a bargain at $2.50 a month
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Saudi Arabia is going to test the Theory of Slippery Slopes by allowing movie theaters, women to drive
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Photoshop this couple necking
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There's surge pricing and then there's yougottabefarkingkiddingme pricing
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California wildfires are now larger than Boston and New York City, but how many Rhode Islands is that?
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Explosion at Manhattan bus terminal. On the left, not much information. Jumping to conclusions on the right
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Three years after threatening to press charges against an engineer for doing math without a license, the Oregon State Board of Examiners for Engineering and Land Surveying finally has the good sense to be embarrassed and drop the whole thing
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California running out of prisoners to fight its wildfires. In other news, California uses prisoners to fight wildfires
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Woman accused of stealing 144 bottles of nail polish. This will varnish her good name
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What in the mother fark is a hit-skip in OHIOTUCKEY? Are these the same assholes who call soda, "pop" instead of Coke?
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Every Chicago police officer is now equipped with a malfunctioning body camera
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When you threaten someone's life on Twitter, try not to show your license plate
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I bet all you cynical asshats who said Trump only wanted to shrink Bear's Ears National Park because Obama created it feel really stupid now knowing that he's really shrinking it because the Uranium Mining Lobby ordered him to
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Famous shirtless protester from Charlotte is now a City Councillor who oversees the police
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That's one way to win an election. Not a very SUBTLE way, though
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Every farking year. You know this wouldn't happen if they'd just nail Him down
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