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Sun October 29, 2017
(Vox)
 
 
 
The double lives of respectable men who sexually harass women
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
People in Rwanda face public shaming and even jail for using plastic grocery bags. It's good to see that hunger, political unrest and genocide are no longer the country's top problems
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Do you suffer from decades of painful nosebleeds? Maybe you have a tooth growing in your nasal cavity (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Your kid is better off with the razor blade in their Halloween candy this year. Holy crap
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Think women get harassed and assaulted a lot in oh soooooo liberal Hollyweird? Try serving while female in the military
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Worry not humans, when the robots rise, take your job and destroy your life, some of you will be spared. SOME
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Sick: Man rubs crotch on female train passenger. Karma: A plainclothes police officer
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg (assets))
 
 
 
Photoshop this dark presentation
source: assets.bwbx.io   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Ya know things in America are farked up when the cops have to deal with too many leafblower complaints
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inland Valley Daily Bulletin)
 
 
 
Today's "People Suck": burglars hit food bank for poverty-stricken families, stripping items earmarked for Thanksgiving & Christmas, then letting the freezer defrost; "Who steals from a food bank? We would have given them help if they just asked"
source: dailybulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The latest thing a self-proclaimed baby-boomer claims millennials have ruined: Halloween
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
FBI suspends and then fires agents for: A) Trading secrets with Russia, B) Selling confiscated evidence, or C) Trying to have a baby
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
When the museum says don't tap the shark tank, THEY MEAN DON'T TAP THE SHARK TANK
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop these caterpillars
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Today's news article quite possibly written by a Farker
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
"We want to give our pink fairy hero and his acquaintance a big pat on the back for preventing this offender from getting away"
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
What, you thought the 2017 season was over? Let's give a warm (water) welcome to Tropical Storm Philippe as he eyes what's left of the Florida Keys
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Girl uses her public Instagram account to make threats against her school
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Embezzle millions of dollars? Your team of high-priced lawyers will see you never spend a second in jail. Steal $1 and a houseplant? That's 7-1/2 to 15 years in the big house for you
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Never forget it takes a village to raise a baby elephant
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
When danger reared its ugly head, they bravely turned their tails and fled, brave brave alt-righters, brave alt-righters, brave indeed
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Just in time to make all your teeth fall out, the ultimate Halloween candy power ranking according to market research
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Treats and Tricks
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these pastel shells
source: static.pexels.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
If you can't hold a Dia de los Muertos party in a cemetery, where can you hold it?
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KETV Omaha)
 
 
 
Clearly, the sensible choice for a Halloween costume is "gun-toting terrorist"
source: ketv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
The UK demands to know why they have to listen to Cher this weekend (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Trump: "Who's next, George Washington?" Church: "Hold my chalice" (Reading the article to the end is a good thing)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Heroic Virginia woman flips off Trump after chasing down motorcade on bike
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Court says man deserves new trial because of a sleepy jury
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 28, 2017
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
There are several lines of work where it is appropriate to bring your 6-year-old daughter to work on Bring Your Daughter To Work Day. "Bank robber" is not such an occupation
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"WATCH: Counter-protesters rock out to 'La Bamba' as white supremacist leader speaks at Tennessee march"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Pope Francis is one of the most hated men in the world .... by Catholics
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
Serial washing machine pooper is terrorizing SIU campus. Includes helpful artist's rendering of the pooper in action (SFW)
source: riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ACLU)
 
 
 
Unsealed documents leave little doubt that Kris Kobach is seeking to disenfranchise millions of lawfully eligible voters
source: aclu.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sewer scene
source: assets1.ignimgs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Deer crashes into Dollar Tree store, asks clerk "Do you have anything for a buck?"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The White Card: Don't leave home without it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Catalonia's leader calls for opposition to Spain's latest ruling. This should end well (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Man who confessed to killing his wife claimed he felt "victimized" when police suspected him of killing his wife
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Doctors warn that the US is is falling behind the rest of the world in proper eye care
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
When text-to-speech achieves sentience
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"Problem at sex doll brothel: The johns are getting too weird" (NSFW)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Original architect for the Disneyland Haunted Mansion says Walt Disney told him his concept was too scary. And that's how he got assigned to the It's a Small World ride. AFTER ALL
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
That's right, buddy, it's a Guinness world record. IN YOUR FACE
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Waiter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this OK waiter
source: dashef.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
"The other nuts, they fear pecans. Because we are superior to them"
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Three carjackers armed with crowbar are no match for one bad-tempered woman who has run out of farks to give
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Казахстан то стоп усинг Цыриллиц алпхабет, Борат инцонсолабле
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Just another day in Alaska, the Australia of North America
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Penn State University)
 
 
 
A 90-year-old Pennsylvania grandmother got her first tattoo at age 84 ... and there's no going back
source: collegian.psu.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
56 years ago, Russia detonated the king of all nuclear and atomic weapons, called the "Tsar Bomba" in Arctic Russia, creating the world's most powerful nuclear blast. Let's just say it made a big bada boom
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
)-8
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(APM Marketplace)
 
 
 
Bad news, pumpkin pie lovers: Your canned filling is probably just squash masquerading as pumpkin and everything you know and love about pie is forever ruined
source: marketplace.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
So my mom gave me these weird fruit thingies called pluots. It's apparently so obscure that Chrome spellcheck redlines it. So have an obscure fruit and take the Weekly Weird News Quiz 10/15-10/21, Pluot Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In a strange coincidence that could only happen on Fark, 'Bathrobe Man Cave Sex' is also the name of subby's Jonas Brothers cover band
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Me TV)
 
 
 
Flammable costumes, red M&Ms, and razor blades in candy bars were just some of the reasons why Halloween was much more dangerous in the 1970s
source: metv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Statesman)
 
 
 
I don't know about you but I'm really sick of these Xennials who just love narcissism, entitlement and earning less than previous generations. Can you believe these guys who I never heard of before this article?
source: newstatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
How to stay alive in Australia and not get eaten, bitten or mauled by its deadly predators
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Woman suffers life-threatening injury after being hit by milk float in an udderly preventable moo-ving violation
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Update an old board game
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
With Halloween almost upon us, please remember to stock up on bandages before attempting this with your favorite feline on Caturday
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Year after year, this guy's got a leg up on the Halloween costume competition
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philadelphia Magazine)
 
 
 
Why are mom and dad eating all of the Halloween candy?
source: phillymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Forget spike strips. They only work half the time, while dropping shards of metal from a truck will blow out the tires of over 50 cars at a time
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Zillow pledges $5M to combat housing insecurity. Unfortunately, that's actually Zestimate dollars and works out to about $1.49
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 27, 2017
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
No one remembers Vegas' first mass killing
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
See, our blowflies here in Vegas aren't like other blowflies, so you're a murderer
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Rumored alien invasion turns out to be Vladimir Putin personally launching missiles, likely while shirtless
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Teddy Roosevelt attacked outside the American Museum of American History in NYC. Whereabouts of the Tablet of Akhmenrah, currently unknown
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Stockton Ca. to try, well... not exactly Universal Basic Income, more like Limited Part-time Minimum Wage Income
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Woman caught stealing snowplow admits to doing heroin and cocaine beforehand, also says she's pregnant and was helping a repo man. The Aristocrats
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
How do you keep an asshole in suspense for a weekend?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Train extends undefeated streak, sets truck challenger on fire for good measure
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY1)
 
 
 
New Yorkers are why New York can't have nice things, volume L - brand-new subway train's foldable seat trashed on the day it went into service
source: ny1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fat cat
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
Billionaire pharma CEO who funded anti-cannabis campaign charged with bribing doctors to prescribe opioids; will probably still receive lighter sentence than some guy busted with a dime bag
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Pumpkin Spice conquers the pot brownies. Cannableahs
source: munchies.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Headline: "These giant robots can pick strawberries. What does that mean for humans?" Well, humans are probably easier to grab with a robot's huge metal claws
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Why do Romanians like garlic so much? Because they look thinner from a distance
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here, just Hanford cleanup workers pouring radioactive waste directly into the ground
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Surely that won't arouse any suspicion
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
New memorial to crackheads everywhere to be unveiled
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Guy leads police on a hour long, 100 MPH+ chase in Ohio. The police comment, "He's a good driver". And by "guy" I mean a 10 year old kid. Sounds like the cops were imitating Ron Burgundy, "Actually, I'm not even mad, that's amazing"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Consumer Reports brings out the Grinch early, shows us what 100 calories of our favorite Halloween candies looks like
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Former FBI Director James Comey has joined Twitter. Photoshop his posting from Iowa
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
Today marks the 113th anniversary of the New York subway system and the earliest recorded example of New York finishing second in a competition with Boston
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
School counselor has "sex romp" with 2 students. College. Nope. High school. Nah. Um, Junior High. Nuh-uh. Oh no. No no no no no
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
You're not allowed to dye your hair, so you must dye your hair. Sorry, I don't make the rules
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The Cow Rebellion started, it has
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Fat, stupid, and hopped up on opioids stolen during Irma is no way to go through life, ossifer
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
The Mayo says it's OK to let the dogs sleep in the room with you, if for no other reason than to have a scapegoat for all your farts
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
Dolphin living at controversial Arizona aquarium has died. Whose bright idea was it to open a dolphin aquarium in Arizona anyway?
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Woman: Hi, doctor? I think I have kidney stones. Doctor: Let me check... no stones, but there is a tiny person in here
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
'Murica, where everyone can own a gun but no one can afford to get shot
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Chicago man awarded $44 million after his cop best friend drunkenly shot him in the head and tried to cover it up with the help of the CPD
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Mississippi schools kill 'To Kill A Mockingbird' ban
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Newly-released JFK files reveal CIA tried to kill Castro in very strange ways, including bacteria-laden swimsuits and booby-trapped seashells
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Not only are pot smokers more relaxed and fun to be around than you, but they're having more sex, too. Although, honestly, that may be sort of a chicken-and-egg thing
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Catalan declares independence after Spain refuses to give them wood for sheep
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Puppy needs to be revived by Narcan after finding and chewing on opioids it found on the sidewalk. Fark: Vets say it's the fourth time they've had to give Narcan to a dog this year
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Getting a sex change is all fine and good, however having it done in a motel room by an aircraft engineer who answered your online ad is another thing
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption what this jockey is thinking
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
... --- ... .-.-.- / -.. --- --. / ... ..- .--. .--. .-.. -.-- / .-. ..- -. -. .. -. --. / .-.. --- .-- .-.-.- / .--. .-.. . .- ... . / ... . -. -.. / -.- . - -.-. .... ..- .--. .-.-.-
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Deputies find more than 60 cocks in Oklahoma man's home
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Today in kangaroo court: An Aussie mum in insurance claims court claims "massive dinosaur-like creature" hit her car
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in 1517. 500 years later, one can wear whatever one wants on his John Thomas
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Let's see: Lawyer wins $5.8 million judgment against man for shooting homeless man on his property. Court starts seizing properties. Lawyer found shot dead on porch. Yeah, this is a real whodunit for sure
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this um, science project?
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The anti-daylight saving time revolution has begun on time ..as usual
source: petition2congress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military Times)
 
 
 
You could ask D2S who's a threat, of course. But if you really want to know, ask the people in the military
source: militarytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Republic)
 
 
 
Will Catalonia declare independence a day before Caturday? Catalonian legislators introduce independence legislation. This is your Spanish Civil War Deux: Electric Boogaloo discussion thread
source: therepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
So what have we learned so far from the released Kennedy documents? Well, for one thing, the Russkies were alarmed his assassination was part of an "ultra-right coup" to overthrow the government. Huh. Guess they warmed up to that idea
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Santa Rosa Press Democrat)
 
 
 
Carl's Jr. that survived Northern California firestorm catches fire while cooking up free burgers for firefighters
source: pressdemocrat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Bureau of Labor Statistics projects that demand for health care workers will exceed job losses amongst truck drivers and retail cashiers, so at least the mathematicians and data analysts have nothing to worry about
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Oh, nothing, just a third U.S. carrier strike group moving off the shores of North Korea, which is preparing to test another nuclear device
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
There's something to be said about group of seniors who meet each week to build and decorate their coffins
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Me TV)
 
 
 
If you grew up before color TV was invented you probably dream in black and white
source: metv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Mother who didn't like the way her daughter was reading the good book, gets book thrown at her and plenty of reading time of her own
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Iowa DOT forced to remind Iowa drivers that deer crossing signs are meant for drivers, not deer, as deer can't read
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Responsible 2nd Amendment advocates sending death threats to Vegas shooting survivors
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
A nurse comforted a dying patient by singing her her favorite song, and my god is it dusty in here
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
I'm not quite dead yet
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
U.S. bishops release translation of exorcism rituals so fast that it would make your head spin
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
And here you thought being a passenger going through airport security was a crappy experience
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
If you've secretly been suspecting that a forgotten level of hell in Dante's Inferno involved being stuck in a house with fifty-six poodles and cockapoos, the Florida Police would like you to know they found it on earth instead
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Science Care is the McDonald's of the cadaver supply business. Would you like flies with that?
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Marijuana sellers stressed out over software delays. If only they had some way to relax
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Vet helps free kitten from wheel, with cutest pics of my new patented 'kitten spinner' you'll ever see
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 26, 2017
(Green Bay Press Gazette)
 
 
 
The most Wisconsin thing you'll read all day: "Man locked in Kwik Trip beer cooler stays and drinks"
source: greenbaypressgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
Florida woman gets arrested for stealing pavers, threatens to sue because she hurt her back while stealing them
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
What does it mean in this era of hating Muslims when Americans are trying more Islamic food? Halal if I know
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Convicted drug dealer's movie memorabilia collection goes under the hammer. Who'll start the bidding on this Batboat?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Ok, which one of you Farkers is messing with the electronic road signs in Queens?
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Do you want ghosts scaring off your tourists? Because this is how you get ghosts scaring off your tourists
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXII Winston-Salem)
 
 
 
North Carolina teenagers may or may not be in trouble for acting like their parents and grandparents
source: wxii12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
He who represents himself has a total stoner as a client. Behold the trial of NJ Weedman
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Oklahoma Supreme Court rules convenience stores can be sued for selling alcohol to intoxicated customers, cutting their business in half
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Kiss NAFTA goodbye. The U.S. negotiators are following the Trump model for negotiations: bigly bullying, complete chaos and pointless posturing
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Elderly couple gets unexplained Amazon packages for months. Holding a breast pump, woman says, "When you're 83 years old, that is very weird"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Sea otter returned to wild after acid poisoning, road trip to Coachella
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this melee
source: static-33.sinclairstoryline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man has surgery to reduce his 11 pound testicles, 3 foot penis, and wheelbarrow stable
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mic)
 
 
 
Heartbeats matter
source: mic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MEL Magazine)
 
 
 
Why do men fear female armpit hair?
source: melmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
You know how some people leave a religious tract instead of a tip? This is like that, except awesome
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Girl Scouts cleaning shoreline of Brooklyn creek find 7 dead cats in plastic bags, say it's a nice change of pace from dead hookers and mob informants
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Family Dollar truck gets stuck on sharp mountain highway curve. Recovery efforts to cost more than truck's contents
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Serious Eats)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: It's that time of year so break out the squash recipes and help your fellow Farkers enjoy the season
source: seriouseats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"And who's been sleeping in my bed?" asked Goldilocks
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Do you like free booze and are over 50 years old? Do we have a study for you
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this child and his chicken
source: i.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
National Park Service realizes that a 45-foot statue of a naked woman on the National Mall would have breasts and other icky womanly things; reverses its approval
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Head tax for homeless irks businesses. To be fair, if there's a homeless person with more than one head, they probably should be taxed more somehow
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
China tests out world's first driverless train that doesn't run on rails. Off the rails Casey Jones, still driving while on cocaine impressed
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If your nipples leak, you might have a brain tumor
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Twitter is banning ads from Russian media outlets RT, Sputnik and Fark.com
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Indiana appeals court rules sex offenders can attend church with children present. Guess there won't be a priest shortage after all
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
College of the Ozarks creates mandatory patriotism class. Would you like to know more?
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Tampa mayor to city's police force: "Give me head"... waitasec...Well it was something like that
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
You know it's an epic 'hold my beer' moment when the homemade explosive device you are working on explodes and the cops don't find your body until a day later
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Gun safety lesson inadvertently teaches 10-year-old boy valuable lesson, to wit: "Do not attend gun safety lessons taught by Florida police"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
For some reason, the U.S. Air Force is tweeting that Santa Claus isn't real
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Someone in Louisiana just hit the $191.1 million dollar jackpot. Will immediately buy shoes, teeth
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
RCMP accused of not telling employees there was lead at a firing range, hydrogen in snow
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Denver news anchor tries the "worlds spiciest potato chip," The Aristocrats ensues
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Boa constrictor found in hotel bed, found before it could do what is described in that Shel Silverstein poem
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Massachusetts may leave the Eastern Time Zone. Here come the post-8 a.m. sunrises
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Oooooooo, Ahhhhhhhhh
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYC mayoral candidate Aaron Commey once hijacked an airplane with a handgun and demanded it be flown to Antarctica or Argentina to battle a make-believe group of evil-doers. He should be fun
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Florida woman's dress repeatedly blows up to expose her lady parts, obviously necessitating MASSIVE law enforcement response
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Nose-picking masturbator terrorizes NYC subway riders
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Today's sticky item spilled all over a highway: Mango juice
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this love bread
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Like bananas? Prepare to live without them
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Game change: sexual harassment edition
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "I'm selling my ranch after aliens tried to abduct my wife"
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Nazis are using leaked psychological manipulation techniques in their war against non-Nazis. Nazissuckreally shortmicroweenies
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Cheerios will no longer be able to call itself "gluten-free". "Taste-free" still perfectly acceptable
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
"Every minute" said gamblers, confidence men, Steve Bannon, and maybe even P. T. Barnum. "Every minute"
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If we all really want clean air, instead of making electric cars why don't we just get rid of cars altogether?
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Woman who married herself gives in to temptation and cheats on herself
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Arizona opens up its first marijuana dispensary drive-thru, because that's just how they roll
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
There's one thing Kate Middleton never wears, if you know what I mean
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Catholics and Lutherans celebrate divorce
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Kentucky taxpayers, you're on the hook 'cuz of your biatch named Karma
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 651: "Nightmare Fuel". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.proceduraltexture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 25, 2017
(Hamilton Journal-News)
 
 
 
"We can do this the easy way or the hard way." Gas station clerk chooses hard way, with picture goodness of the effect on the robber. Hero tag is for clerk
source: journal-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Nasty woman complains that Whitefish stinks
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Judge serves three day notice to "vacate the premises" to overdue baby. Baby listens and demands her security deposit back
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Medium well done
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Livingston Daily)
 
 
 
Mother charged for having daughter undergo female genital mutilation asks judge to remove GPS monitor from ankle because it's "physically uncomfortable and causes irritation to the skin"
source: livingstondaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Parent angered by weed delivery service flyer left at her home. Well, maybe little Suzie and Jimmy won't need to get high if you stop letting the Kardashians and $#* My Dad Says raise them 24/7 oh and btw HOLY CRAP WEED HOME DELIVERY
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
If you feel your Soul is headed in the wrong direction, surrender it to the maker
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of San Diego)
 
 
 
Administrators in one southern California school district have been receiving extra payments from a secret "profit sharing" fund for decades, and no one seems to know why. Not even the people receiving them
source: voiceofsandiego.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yonhap News (Korea))
 
 
 
When Kimmie says literally, he MEANS literally, and has the nukes to back it up. Or so he says, as sabres continue to rattle
source: english.yonhapnews.co.kr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Russian wedding
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Police seek help identifying boobs involved in bank robbery
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Two people shot dead at Louisiana's Gambling State University. Oh, wait. Grambling. Subby has to change his higher education plans
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Apparently the President of Madagascar has not Shut. Down. Everything because now black death is knocking on the doors of nine new countries ready to swing its sickle (possible NSFW stuff on page)
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(THV 11)
 
 
 
Homicide victim found in cemetery. I mean, yeah, that's where they go, right?
source: thv11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Naked 91-year-old women--is there anything they can't do?
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Rail station closed after "unexploded device" found. Aren't most devices unexploded?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: Blank Canvas Edition
source: hdwallpaperbackgrounds.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Reuters investigates the world of unregulated human body brokers by purchasing two human heads, which surprisingly didn't cost an arm and a leg
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Who would burn a 15 ft teddy bear to the ground? Canadians. EVIL Canadians. Probably drunk evil Canadians, too
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
FBI and CT police reveal that they found a file on the computer belonging to Newtown shooter, Adam Lanza, "advocating pedophiles' rights and the liberation of children," and "a screenplay about a relationship between an adult male and a young boy"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
'Tinder for criminals' program matches inmates with suitable prisons. Shouldn't it be called Grindr for criminals?
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
If your newborn tests positive for meth, don't cut off their alarm bracelet, stuff it in a duffel bag and flee the hospital. And definitely don't 'hide' at home - that's the first place the cops will look for you
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Nintendo 64 left behind after tires slashed. Police following trail of discarded bananas, shells, and coins
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
Study says 66% of Winnipeg's homeless population is invisible. If I were homeless and invisible I'd probably rob a bank
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Fats Domino no longer tickling the ivories
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Brother photoshops clown from 'It' into sister's engagement photos, won't have to worry about giving at toast at the wedding reception
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
How much would you pay to get other people to stop crowding your national park? $70?
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Virginia is all ready to start charging every driver using the busiest stretch of its busiest highway during rush hour for the privilege of doing so, but for some reason drivers aren't lining up to purchase the equipment the state needs them to have
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Ohio is the worst place to trick-or-treat, says study conducted outside of Albert Belle's house
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Skating through life is no way to go, especially after the fire when the view is horrendous
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this... um... political statement?
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
The best doggie Halloween costumes on parade. It's Woofday Wednesday
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Woman crashes wedding, pours a drink on her boyfriend, punches a bridesmaid and runs to the bathroom. Then it gets weird
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Republicans continue to drain the swamp by making it harder for consumers to sue banks. Thanks, Pence
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"Boy Scout leader accused of banging scouts' heads together". You stopped reading two words too early
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Say goodbye to your local news crew
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Starting Thursday, the TSA takes its theatrics on the road
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Suddenly, yellow jackets
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
It's okay if high school boys are shirtless as they cheer on their school's football team. But fetch the fainting couch and pass the smelling salts if a high school girl in a sports bra wants to take off her shirt to cheer on the team
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Apparently, dishwashers may be a fire hazard, which is weird because mine quit smoking 4 years ago this January
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAist)
 
 
 
Trouble was bruin at this Altadena school as intruders were found without a maul pass
source: laist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The first Newfie says "Hey look, UFO" and the second Newfie says "No, YOU F-O"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Foolish humans ruin a game of shark volleyball
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida spends $20 million to ensure milk from a cow's udder is called 'imitation milk'
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Sarah Huckabee Sanders: "I wouldn't trust the Washington Post." Hours later: "OMG, have you seen this report in the Washington Post? It's awesome"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I scream, you scream. We all scream: WTF?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Clinton campaign and DNC helped pay firm to have Trump Dossier put together
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 24, 2017
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Immigrant girl to get that abortion she always wanted that the Trump administration tried to stop
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Man can't hold his beer, says watch this
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Retiree spent £120k pension in 6 months on a car, gambling and drink. And the rest he wasted
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
The Sackler family doesn't want you to know that the Sackler family got its Sackler family fortune by creating the opioid addiction epidemic, which is brought to you by the Sackler family
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
This week on Canada's Least Wanted
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
DC ax throwing club opens with tips like "do not throw ax if someone is in front of you or near the target." What could possibly go wrong?
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy stepping into a plush, stain resistant abyss
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tab)
 
 
 
Proud dad overjoyed to find his son's fake ID confiscated in liquor store
source: thetab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bradenton Herald)
 
 
 
Armed man tries to rob store wearing scuba mask. He must have been the designated diver
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Are you having trouble paying your Vegas gambling debts? Are you or a loved one dead? There may be a solution
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Oh, sure Earl. Everyone knows about them, we just didn't tell you
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
When America sends food to Puerto Rico, they're not sending their best. They're sending Skittles. They're sending Cheez-Its. They're sending pudding cups. And some, I assume, is good food
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Florida couples argue less than average as compared to couples nationwide, which is completely understandable because, once that knife goes into the chest, argument's over
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Knick-knack shop hit by truck full of irony
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
DARPA created a headband that makes you smarter. The first thing you do when you turn it on is you stop reading The Daily Mail
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fire and rescue
source: images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Flavor Flav was right
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
North Korea could defeat America in three days
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Men may not know very much about how to use tampons. Period
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Protestor throws small Russian flags at Trump as he walks inside U.S. Capitol. Trump immediately comes to attention, places hand over heart
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Oh ve thought they vere poachin' da deer up der ya and don't cha know they thought they were from that movie catchin' ghosts or something. Nice folks ya know just some odd
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Belgium had a crazy gang of robbers that robbed and killed their way through the early '80s and then suddenly ceased operations. A man claiming to be that gang's leader recently confessed on his deathbed
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Earth Touch News)
 
 
 
It seems like when a school has cougar problems, it's usually one of the faculty, not an actual cougar
source: earthtouchnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In related news, Bill O'Reilly announces that he named his penis "God"
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
New simulations show how a 9.0 magnitude earthquake could affect Seattle. No word if said simulations just involved taking a dozen eggs and throwing them at the floor
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman dies when molten caramel enters huge tank she is cleaning at confectionery factory. Friends and coworkers remember her for her sweet disposition, soft heart, and chewy center
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
In yet another blow to the retirement planning efforts of lower and middle class Americans, the cost of a Mega Millions lottery ticket is about to double
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Assembly day in the school gym. First up: That troupe that uses trampolines to do acrobatic slam dunks. Then Mr Putin will talk to us about the horrors of genetically-modified superhuman armies of our dystopic future
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Urban Explorer/newspaper publisher on Chicago roof "died doing what he loved", if your love is re-creating Frank Nitti's last scene in "The Untouchables"
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Having a dilapidated, crumbling, eyesore building in an otherwise upscale neighborhood is a common urban problem, but only in Washington, DC do you have the potential of sparking an international incident if you try to force the owners to clean it up
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Drone delays helicopter rescue of hiker who broke his leg. Next time he'll spring for Prime shipping
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this engine
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Is Australia really that dangerous or is the country just full of idiots?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
It can really sting if you're born a Scorpio. Or date a Scorpio. Or live next door to a Scorpio. Or work for a Scorpio. In fact, it's probably best if you just avoid Scorpios altogether
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
R.I.P. Matilda, the famous NYC Algonquin Hotel cat. Such a lobby diva you were
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you run a magazine and decide to host a women's empowerment panel, maybe you should put some women on the panel
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Stephen Hawking farked up the internet
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The president just made his own additions to the constitution
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
All those recently caught in a cave-in raise your hand
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleeping Computer)
 
 
 
Firefox is deporting 80% of its mextensions next month
source: bleepingcomputer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Nicaragua just signed the Paris Climate Accords, meaning only two countries remain that refuse to sign. One is a violent, divided country where guns are easily accessible and the dictator in charge thrives on hate and discord. The other is Syria
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"I'll have a skull and a few eyeballs with a side of severed fingers". Mmmmm
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Nothing good can happen by slapping the ass of a police horse on active duty
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Bear has surgery to remove massive 3kg tongue, worries he'll no longer be as popular with the lady bears
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Good news ladies: You can put away the tweezers, big eyebrows are back. Emma Watson ecstatic
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 23, 2017
(Slate)
 
 
 
Scalpel? Scalpel. Suture? Suture. Flashlight? Flashlight. Batteries?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
It was 50 years ago that Andy Warhol punked the entire state of Oregon
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UAE finally warming up to men touching each other in bars
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Corgi-Con takes over California beach
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Item)
 
 
 
Man steals ambulance and crashes a few blocks away before rushing into CVS and storming the counter for 'pills'. Witnesses unsure if cops or suspect then said 'tada'
source: dailyitem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"When some people mistake Malala for Mia Khalifa"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Tip: Do not offer to use your semen rag to wipe the vaseline off your driver's license when stopped for speeding wearing nothing but a bikini thong
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
GF sets fire to ex's home because if she can't have the teddy bear, then nobody can
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bahamas resort for obese tourists welcomes guests with meter-wide chairs, reinforced beds, and zero judgment at the pool. It's being hailed as tons of fun
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Drug sniffing dog finds two pounds of meth inside Pound Puppy. Meanwhile, Teddy Ruxpin's drug empire remains out of reach
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Fark rules!
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
President Emmanuel Macron's dog Nemo recently caught taking a leak on the fireplace in the presidential office while the president was busy in a meeting with junior ministers
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Australians
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
This just in from the Ric Romero Institute: How well you recover from Hurricane Harvey may depend on how much money you have
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
Audio
 
No "live" show tonight on Paul's Memory Bank. Putting the server on auto-pilot mixing up music & comedy (8PM EDT). Next week, the Annual Halloween Show featuring "The War of the Worlds". Got time for a few requests
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
There's been a lot less dead hookers since Craigslist started offering erotic services
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
You know that old lady in front of you on the NYC subway who cannot figure out how to swipe her metro card? Just wait until she has to pay using her phone
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Belgian sex education website recommended for 7-year-old kids demonstrates advanced sex techniques even subby hasn't heard of. Stupid Flanders (NSFW)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Paul admits he would have not gone through with it had he not been drunk"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Bionic woman takes 24 hours to complete a 10-mile run. She's never going to get back into OSI at that rate
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Naming your kid Jihad is the new Hitler
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Underwear bomber complains about the fruits of his loom(ing) long term incarceration. A thousand tiny violins begin warming up
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Federal Courts: Whales are fish
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Live Briefing on Niger Ambush -history in the making
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
At 12 years old, Louie the dog is getting a bit old and slow, so when he disappeared one day, his owners were a bit freaked out. What they didn't know was that he was out being a hero. GOOD BOY
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
The President of the Czech Republic has affronted reporters by brandishing a replica AK-47 with the words "for journalists" inscribed on it during a press conference. To his credit, the gun shoots alcohol
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this German bus
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Remember, the police standoff isn't over until the Florida Man sings
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CSO Online)
 
 
 
Good Morning, fellow Palestinians. Good Morning, automated Facebook translation service. Good Morning, Israeli police
source: csoonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
16 Afghan soldiers training in Alabama have gone AWOL, "may pose a security risk" due to age, military training, higher thread count
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
When asked why officers fired 137 rounds at the two unarmed men, a police source replied, "They didn't have 138"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Woman sweats blood. Doctors baffled but say it's nothing to feel stigmatacized about
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Queen Elizabeth owns a lot of property, including Regent Street, racecourses, posh hotels, a McDonald's in Oxford, several castles...wait, what?
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The Salvation Army welcomes all donations...well most donations....maybe not occupied urns
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-10-15 to Sat 2017-10-21
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Depeche Mode concert goers find their car tires slashed after concert, are forced to try walking in their own shoes
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
Things you might find on a weekend jog in Pennsylvania - couples in the park, people walking their dogs and of course, armor-piercing tank rounds
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
'Tis the season for asshats throwing pumpkins from overpasses at the cars below
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Gym fanatic blames protein shakes and testosterone for making him feel 'confused and disorientated' after he walked naked into female changing rooms and touched woman's butt (NSFW images in sidebar)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The FDA is about to decide whether it should loosen the definition of "dietary fiber" to allow food companies to keep calling things like Froot Loops and breakfast bars "healthy"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this awesome glass
source: ww3.hdnux.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
Alaskan photographer wakes up to a mama Lynx and her seven kits hanging out on his back porch. With pics of adorable big-footed fuzzy killers
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Rhino spots poacher tracking and preparing to kill it, so it decides to attack first, injuring the would-be murderer. Hero tag is for the rhino
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Too late to SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Let's see what is in the mail today: Bill, bill, bill, catalog, bill, catalog, catalog, child porn, bill, bill
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
Fifty years ago, a bunch of acid-dropping anti-war activists tried to "levitate" the Pentagon to end the Vietnam War. As you know, it didn't work because of those damn unicorns
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Maybe it's time to give up your road rage shenanigans when you run over yourself with road rage
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
It's hard to beat the old "put the fox in charge of the hen house" argument
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
It's kind of adorable when a town in Alabama with a population of less than 15,000 thinks it actually has a chance to land the new Amazon headquarters
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Thank you, officers, for keeping this kind of crime off our streets
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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