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Sun October 08, 2017 |
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At least Steve Wynn waited a whole week before promoting how safe his hotels are
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Everything you know about "millennial snowflakes" is wrong
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Dove. 99 44/100% racist
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"I'm a 13-foot-tall truck, full speed ahead." "I'm an 11-foot-high bridge. Your call"
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Photoshop this typical piece of farm equipment
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Do hotel alarm clocks piss you off? It might just be because you're a moron
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Get out your tiny meat violins for the Vegan whose Facebook post, celebrating the killing of "carnists" in Las Vegas, jeopardizes her food truck business
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Why yes, the North American Wife Carrying Championship was this weekend. All aboard
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Photoshop this boy with his pot
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♫ Gin-gle balls, gin-gle balls, Scotch on Christmas day. Oh what fun it is to drink & vodak's on the way ♫
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Delicate snowflake in South Carolina outraged after officials at the private school he sends his children to objected to the hate symbol flying on his truck
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Hello this is your pilot speaking, here's a 'terrifying' view from our cockpit right now as we go through this cloud to land. Enjoy
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Tldr; beaches turn people into jerks
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Posh popcorn has caused a rash of chipped teeth. Must have taken awhile for Brits to realize this
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(Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these falling fellows
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CSB Sunday Morning: Coincidences
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Ghana rocked by huge gas blasts, possibly from too much peri peri chicken
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Authorities suspect arson after man was pouring lighter fluid in the building and saying that he was going to set it on fire. Ya don't say?
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Deviants on the dark web might actually be cops trying to catch deviants on the dark web. Shocking, we know
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Cyan
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Canada's Thanksgiving is completely different from America's Thanksgiving because nobody knows when to celebrate or why they're doing it
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In an attempt to have repeat customers, a rehab CEO allegedly tried to sell heroin and fentanyl to the addicts the facility was designed to heal
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Can gun owners defeat a government military that has tanks, planes, and more tanks?
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Good news, folks: Better times are on the way
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You think?
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Here we go again
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Sat October 07, 2017 |
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Guess who tweeted about "The failing disgusting New York Times." Take another guess
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This just in. Cities are loud
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OK, which of Trump's friends benefits from this?
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(Googled b+w teletubbies) |
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Photoshop whatever is going on here
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Two-story-tall, street-food-eating raccoon invades Philly neighborhood
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Want to be a decent human being when you go to dump someone? Here's the decent science
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Parents, teachers, and employers be forewarned: Marijuana is going mainstream
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Man takes Halloween decorating to a new extreme
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Photoshop Baron von Redberry and Sir Grapefellow
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If you've misplaced a number of potted pot plants, the Gainesville Police Department would like you to please come pick them up. (with helpful photo of the plants)
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Plainclothes NYPD cop doesn't clown around when it comes to NY Comic Con
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In 1966, 1,600 airmen were exposed to radiation after an H-bomb-carrying plane crashed while refueling. 50 years later, veterans still unable to file disability claims because the Pentagon won't release results of medical tests
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Actual headline "Topless dancer loses pot-laced box of bakery." Police require more time to investigate how baked the bakery will bake you
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The FBI thwarted ISIS terror attacks on New York's subway system and Times Square, but feel enough time has passed they can tell us about it
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New on the state fair menu: the cotton candy burrito (pics)
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If you mistake a Jack Daniel's flag for an ISIS banner, you likely have had a bit too much of the former to drink. Just saying
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Would you date someone shorter or taller than you? Would you date a smoker? Would you date someone that did recreational drugs? Would you date someone that had to move back in with their parents for financial reasons?
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We've got too much bad news yet again this week. Take some time away from it with the Fark News Quiz, Sept. 24-30 banana edition. Because it's bananas
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Old and busted: Garnishing your drink with orange peels or mint leaves. New alcohol-inspired creativeness: Garnishing your drink with Shishiato peppers or green corn shoots
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Nose hair extensions are the next hot beauty trend everyone needs to try (w/ pics) (possible NSFW content on page)
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I want to believe ....that mermaids exist
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Car plows into pedestrians outside the Natural History Museum in London. Police responding
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To the surprise of nobody anywhere, having a car loaded with touchscreens, navigation devices, texting abilities, and elaborate music systems can be distracting to the driver
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New Orleans residents: "Oh crap...here we go again"
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"I have a funny habit of eating Pringles on airplanes. I'm not sure why, as it's really the only time I eat them"
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Cute video of an owlet taking a bath. Whooooo the hell would film that?
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Photoshop this fall fruit. Difficulty: no POTUS
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I bet she didn't see this coming
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Nurse Raisin, please report to the OR, Nurse Raisin to the OR on Caturday
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It really is great to see family members spending quality time together. And only one going to jail
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Restaurant's owners at lunch: Go on Facebook to declare 100% support for Trump, drug screening welfare recipients and repealing Obamacare; but not kneeling during the Anthem or global warming. Restaurant owners by dinner: Delete. Delete. Delete
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Sanctuary state? Sounds like you have lots of folks we might be interested in
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Criminal mastermind riding stolen motorcycle with revoked license notices the cops have his roommate pulled over in another stolen car, figures he may as well stop to ask what's going on
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Mattel decides to pull the plug on letting the internet babysit your kids
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In Missouri, the Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled on The Temple's appeal in their case to claim religious exemption from the state's informed consent and mandatory waiting period abortion restrictions. Fark: The Satanic Temple
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Fri October 06, 2017 |
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Trump will be visiting Hamburg, Pennsylvania Wednesday, according to White House briefing. Although, it's more than likely he just thought they made the very best hamburgers there and he wants one for lunch
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Convicted killer's strange statement invoking Trump halts sentencing hearing
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GA Middle school history teacher gives her class a homework assignment to create a "Colorful Mascot" representing the Nazi party. Needless to say parents are Fuherious
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Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha... it was only a matter of time
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One way to get drivers to slow down for pedestrians is to confuse them. Also works on cats, but summoning professionals recommended (possible nsfw content on page)
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FINALLY...a reason to go back to church
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Lottery winners to receive A: Cash? B: Trips? or C: Decorative manhole covers? Difficulty: Japan
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75% of the population of Venezuela has lost an average of 19 lbs due to food shortages and currency collapse. Meanwhile you gained another two pounds in the time it took you to read this headline
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Investigators probing whether others were in Las Vegas gunman's suite, besides Bump Stocks 'R' Us sales reps
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(Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this unusual abode
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Converse man arrested for allegedly beating children with belt, 'switch'. Someone should kick him in the head with some Chuck Taylors
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(Some Observer) |
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RIP, Canadian tar sand pipelines
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The Miami police department has arrested someone for running a parody Twitter account that made fun of the Miami police department
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Marilyn Manson confesses he smoked a bone, riff on that to the right while considering the sad state of shock value in 2017
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From robots to role play: study reveals German attitudes to sex. Not a lot of monogamy
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Beer 4 Boobies event saves lives (and boobies). Is there anything beer cannot do?
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"Give me three reasons why you're demolishing my home." "Rotting garbage, debris and mould"
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Darth Vader robs a convenience store, doesn't Force-choke anyone
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Photoshop this division
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Obviously unbalanced man arrested in airport for making bomb threat in person to TSA agent. "I've got to get this bag checked in before it explodes"
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Calgary school board candidate blames gay people for terrorism. Fabulous, kinky terrorism
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Because there is not enough work for lawyers, a Georgia sheriff decided to order the warrantless frisking of 900 minors
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Plane skids on runway as it lands in crosswinds. Passengers have matching skidmarks (possible nsfw content on page)
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Vegas madman regularly wore gloves because of bizarre allergies
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When a car thief pursued by police jumps in the water to escape, the police must shoot and kill him in self defense
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When the Saudi king rolls into Moscow, he rolls DEEP, with a 1,500-person "squad," food, furniture, servants and carpets from home, and his own portable golden escalator
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Think Trump throwing paper towels at Puerto Ricans was bad? He almost threw cans of chicken until told not to
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New emojis coming including "I love you" hand sign. Next up, the Shocker
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We tried the new grocery store frozen avocados so you didn't have to...and you should be thanking us for this every day for the rest of your life. The horror, THE HORROR
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Like multi-colored hair mugshots? Here is one for you, then
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If the Vegas shooter had been trying to stockpile cold medicine instead of guns, he would have been sitting in jail long ago
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Milo Snuffaluffagus' emails obtained and turned over to Buzzfeed and wow that is way more Nazis than I was expecting
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Tampa Bay kicker on missing all 3 field goal tries: "This one's on me." Apparently he can't count either
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If you ever wanted to own your very own, one-of-a-kind toilet seat museum, well you might want to sit down for this news
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(Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this fine foursome
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Leopard loose in car factory. Well, at least the workers have cars to get into, Jesus Christ
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Middle school janitor calls the police about a tampon
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As if Harvey, Irma, and Maria didn't bring enough big water: U.S. Gulf Coast going back to pucker factor 5, cuz here comes Nate
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Nothing strikes fear into the heart of a county prosecutor quite like hearing that the defendant wants to talk about jury nullification during his trial. Especially when the defendant is known as Weedman
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Forty-eight. Forty-eight environmental rules the White House is trying to undo ah ah ah
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Indiana Supreme Court: "Yes, we agree that the law is pants-on-head stupid, but seeing as it is the law, off to prison with you"
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Parents charged with manslaughter after newborn dies from treatable jaundice because parents refused to seek medical help. Their excuse? "God makes no mistakes"
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If someone drives on your lawn at 5:40 in the morning, shooting at their truck isn't the best option. You should teach your kids that, too, before they fire eight rounds from "the household's .40-caliber Glock"
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John Kelly finds out why his phone is acting weird
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History's Greatest Monster has some wise words and personal insight into solving the North Korea issue
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Northern California recycled clothing store pays for billboard promoting store and depicting Trump as a Nazi; billboard company removes it less than 24 hours later, claiming it "received complaints"
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Trump notes "calm before storm" at military dinner. Asked for clarification : "You'll find out"
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Once again, The Red Cross shows itself to be the "hopes and prayers" of hurricane disaster relief
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Thu October 05, 2017 |
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Please note: the police may listen in on your phone calls, especially if you're calling from jail
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Vegas shooter often would moan and scream "Oh my God" in bed, much like your mom
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Appealing the citation forfeits the right to pay with peanut butter
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'I may be in possession of some amphetamine'
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Evasion, Tax Evasion
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By the word of a complete stranger to someone who isn't even a judge, all your rights as a person can be stripped away and there's nothing you can do about it
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In what is no way a viral ad campaign designed to create the buzz of outrage, the Hollywood studio behind Kate Winslet's new movie with Idris Elba wants you to know that she doesn't eat the dog. Also, Kate Winslet has a new movie with Idris Elba
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Which is the bigger fail? The woman who tried to knock takeout food out of a man's hand, but ended up falling on her ass OR this article which contains a slideshow of a computer screen with a gif on it?
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The bleeding hearts at the NRA do the right thing
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(Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these tulip lovers
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Nearly 40 Treasure Coast residents banned from Martin County parks after being caught performing amateur porn in public
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Italy recalls spinach over mandrake contamination, fearing poisoning or people combining it with Nightshade and Black Pearl to cast Corp Por over and over again
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"I am sick and tired of all these goddamn losers misquoting me on the farking internet." - Gloria Steinem
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Ugly-ass baby chameleons hatch at British zoo
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Christian rehab diversion program miraculously turns into forced-labor camp the moment you step into it. Hallelujah
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15 of the grossest things you are eating. Big Macs did not make the list, but beaver anus did. Not sure which is worse
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Spirit week canceled after students wave Confederate flag on 'culture day.' Told to wait until 'Loser Day'
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(Some Food Nut) |
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Fark Food Thread: When you're ready to indulge, what do you make for yourself? A favorite decadant dessert? Aged steak? Expensive booze? Show us what living the high life (as much as a Farker can) looks like to you
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"White people shooting white people isn't terror...it's community outreach," says owner of soon-to-be out of business deli
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Are you tired of looking at your cat's head? Annoyed by your cat's paws? Then get yourself Qoobo, an adorable, headless, limbless robotic cat. Quoobo. Order now for delivery in time for Caturday
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Photoshop theme: Ways to make Columbus Day better
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Austrian number two resigns over smears. Opponent promises to wipe
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It's just like that time Uncle Sebastian came home after a night at the golf club to find a fox embedded in the front grille of his car - only bigger
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U-t-i-l-i-t-y w-o-r-k-e-r-s r-e-s-c-u-e S-l-o-t-h f-r-o-m p-o-w-e-r-l-i-n-e
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ALIENS ARE COMING TO FILL OUR BODIES WITH ALCOHOL...bring on the invasion
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Woman critically injured in Las Vegas shooting immediately fired by soul-sucking corporate suits whose only concern is the bottom line . . . wait, what? They sent a dedicated HR person to help the family? What strange devilry is this?
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Rich assholes with too much time on their hands find new way to point out to public that they're rich assholes with too much time on their hands
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China has now made the world's longest NOPE
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YouTube is promoting Las Vegas shooting conspiracy theories, which is no surprise to anyone who's dared to wade into the fetid cesspool of YouTube comments
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Flight privilege
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A hedge fund manager worth $1.1 billion facing a messy divorce from his wife of 20 years with whom he had 4 children, goes for the Hail Mary pass and claims that despite two wedding ceremonies 5 years apart, he and his wife were never legally married
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Roving gang of Ronald McDonalds invades Burger King, gives them the sh*t about their lousy food
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Woman gets a big box of oxy instead of the yoga mat she ordered. That much oxy will make you one with the universe
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6-year-old girl: Grandma, why are these animals talking about vaginas and coke problems in my book?
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Night before the shooting, the Las Vegas shooter called in two noise complaints - about loud country music downstairs
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It seems that the Vegas shooter booked hotel rooms overlooking the Chicago Lollapalooza festival two months ago as well. Fark: Malia Obama was there
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It turns out the Vegas shooter left a note
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Amid reports of a meteor streaking through the sky, fire fighters battle blaze on NH mountain. Details sketchy as the military has cordoned off the area. This is not a repeat from 1938
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Las Vegas shooter found out that jet fuel just "sits there in a big wet pile" and does not explode when shot at
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The Catalan Parliament has been suspended. The regional governors will rule directly. Fear will keep the Catalan in line - fear of this court order
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Do you buy salmon at WalMart? Congratulations traitor, you're funding North Korea's nuclear program
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Photoshop this gaping gate
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Stuck for wedding photo ideas? Just ask your mother-in-law. (NSFW photo)
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Iowa man wins lottery prize of $25,000 per year, for life. He is 92 years old
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Think of the cutest kitten that's ever lived in the entire world ... and it still won't be as adorable as a sand kitten
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Normal: 4chan, racist, death threats. Not normal: identified, arrested, charged, in court tomorrow
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McDonald's worker arrested for super sizing the Coke
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Women wear the same little black dress for five straight days to raise money for hungry children. Um, okay?
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District sues middle schooler and his parents after he caused over $19,000 to a classroom. As it should be; take some damned responsibility, parents
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Indonesian man battles 26ft python in single combat before killing it for dinner, is immediately signed by the Food Network
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If you thought taking the bus would stop you from police brutality during a traffic stop, think again
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Due to the Las Vegas tragedy, guess what is increasing in sales
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Jesus is back. Look busy
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Guy who invented a form of therapy - AAAAAHHHHHHIIAAAAHHHHHHH - in the 70's, which would seem to be -- AAAAAHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRHHHHHGGG - even more appropriate today -- AAAAOOOORRRRHHHHHHAAAAAA - has died
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Fark ready Headline: Women who escaped Edmonton prison arrested at escape room
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...and now let us speak of Jesus Campos, the unarmed security guard at the Mandalay Bay who was not only the first person to locate Stephen Paddock's room, but who then chose to take him on, got shot, and still managed to lead police with his radio
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Man arrested for public intoxication claims he traveled back in time to warn the Earth of alien invasion. No word if he brought his own weapons
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Sorry folks, station's closed
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Flew 35 missions as WWII B-17 tailgunner. Lived long, happy life, with lots of family & friends. But, at 92, liver cancer got worse. What to do? Sing one last song with chorus friends at own wake. Died this morning. Hero beats Sappy & Sad
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 648: "Software Hootenanny 7". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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Wed October 04, 2017 |
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Protip for crazies if you're going to hold a hostage at gunpoint when you burglarize them: Always get your beauty sleep first
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Dunkin' Donuts will not accept drugs as payment for a cup of coffee. Not even from Florida Man
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Another corny tribute to the military
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(Some drunk guy) |
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4,055 items were lost and found at this year's Oktoberfest, including a set of dentures, a pair of crutches, a license plate, a drinking horn, a pair of leather pants, and a luxury ladies' watch. Hopefully not all by the same person
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Mustaches: serious business
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US forces are under attack
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It all started with the 1859 Battle of Magenta in the Crimean War, which led directly to Kurt Cobain and grunge chic 130 years later. Behold the power of the cardigan
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Brother of former gang leader accused of triple murder is reluctant to testify due to the not-unreasonable fear he might get triple-murdered
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Anchorage Police say they don't have the resources to chase car thieves, but if you do it yourself they do have the resources to charge you with reckless driving
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Chloe Lattanzi posted on Instagram that Stephen Paddock is not responsible for the Las Vegas shootings but something much 'darker' was at play. I for one will sleep better knowing Detective Chloe, PhD, is on this case
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Woman arrested after crashing into five parked cars, all owned by the same family. Nothing suspicious about that
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Photoshop this crying tree
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To be fair, naked, drunk, and firing guns in the air IS a way to go through life, at least in Florida
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Journalist arrested for writing an article about the first lady's used underwear. Difficulty: Not Melania
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OJ's lawyer to Simpson after Las Vegas massacre: "I hope nobody tries to pin any of this on you." Wow, class act, counselor
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Finally the most important question about the Las Vegas shooting has been answered. Namely "who can we sue?" Stephen Paddock was recently prescribed benzodiazepine, a sedative that can cause people with underlying anger issues to "become aggressive"
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And today's metaphor-of-the-day award goes to the sign that fell apart behind the UK Prime Minister while she gave a speech on Brexit
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News: Sears Canada exec reneges on 40% of the court-approved Hardship Fund that was to be set aside for destitute laid-off workers. Fark: Because he's personally keeping the money as a bonus
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Conspiracy theorists and amateur criminal behavioral analysts forced to reset as news surfaces that the Vegas gunman appears to have originally planned to attack the "Life is Beautiful" festival headlined by Chance the Rapper a week earlier
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Gas station attendant asks customer not to smoke while fueling his car. Customer refuses. Gas station attendant regretfully says he really must insist
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Gulf Coast residents prepare for impact of another hurricane, paper towels
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Photoshop El Celacanto
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House passes bill to ban killing some fetuses
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Chinese man admits to sneaking snakes in socks. Although why a snake would wear socks I dunno
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Let's go back in time to L.A.'s early days with palm trees, movie stars, and Klan rallies. Yes, that's right, I said palm trees
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Man carrying a .357-caliber Magnum, a loaded .45-caliber semi-automatic, a .223-caliber fully automatic assault rifle, a .308-caliber fully automatic assault rifle, more than 900 rounds of ammunition, and survival equipment pulled over for speeding
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Student banned from using college internet after illegally downloading Rick and Morty
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Florida to seek death penalty against killer clown. Considering the legal costs, that's just pound foolish, but Pennywise
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Arrr, check out me mugshot you buccaneers
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Colorado police would like you to stop calling them about the Mad Pooper
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Turkish archaeologists have found it. They've found the tomb of the guy responsible for Christmas. Believers rejoice. Hallelujah
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Judge: Sir, are you classified as human? Sovereign Citizen: Negative. I am an agricultural product
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We must destroy these statues of oppression and hate. Take that, Virgin Mary
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Vegas shooter stockpiled 33 weapons in the last 12 months, which would have sent off some warnings at the ATF that he might have been up to no good, if there wasn't a loophole in purchase tracking that excludes rifles
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Girl falls down manhole and breaks her ankles. If only it'd been a girlhole, she would have been fine. See, 'cause manholes are for men. Is this thing on?
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As if Las Vegas hasn't suffered enough, Trump plans visit to city today. No word what he'll be throwing to the crowds this time
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Today's animals that got loose are....a bunch of goats and a donkey roaming the streets of Pittsburgh
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Photoshop this boredom with the police state
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Woofday Wednesday - Principal has the best excuse to bring her emotional support dog to school with her
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Why is Las Vegas silent in the wake of the domestic terror attack that ravaged the city?
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Harvest Moon, Full Hunter's Moon, Travel Moon, the Dying Moon, whatever you call it, get ready for a very special full moon tomorrow night
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Spain could be headed to full-fledged civil war
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Guy would have been fine if it wasn't for that crazy butterfly he imagined. The imaginary butterfly defense, that old chestnut
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New York cop sues black man he wrongfully assaulted
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The U.S. Food and Drug Administration may start cracking down on unproven claims that marijuana has health benefits. Other useless herbal supplements still just fine and dandy
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From the atheier-than-thou files: "New Atheists are not atheist enough"
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Las Vegas Strip hotels Wynn and Encore begin checking guests' bags with metal detectors
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When caught on the ground during the Vegas Massacre, the King of Instagram outed himself joining the Chickenhawk Brigade
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Does anyone know what the record is for number of DWI convictions? This man just got his 28th, and his mug shot seems to support the story
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Tue October 03, 2017 |
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I have a sudden urge to go screwdriving (Not safe for work)
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Hero? "I don't see myself that way. I would want someone to do the same for me. No one deserves to lose a life coming to a country festival"
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DC area police chief says officers should learn to drink and hire prostitutes
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Equifax, the company that hired a music major with ZERO IT background as their CIO, has finally come clean on the root cause of their breech: "It was Carl from the Help Desk. He forgot to patch stuff"
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People quickly notice something amiss with conference on feminism
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Immigration and Customs Enforcement's new snitch line "VOICE" is very popular with people who secretly try to get their in-laws deported. A classic American win-win situation
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Taylor Ham...Serious Business
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So many Vegas restaurants were donating food for emergency workers, victims and blood donors today, that one hospital had to start turning them away
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The Vegas gunman had a perfectly legal device called a "bump stock" which allows a semi automatic weapon to become fully automatic
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(Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this man and his munificent beard
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Old and busted: Loose lips sink ships. New hotness: non-navy Americans posting realtime USN ship positions on Twitter
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The only thing that can stop a bad family's target practice is Drunk Florida Man with a gun
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The latest thing you've been doing wrong, according to a German court, breakfast
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Coast Guard rescues three near Sea Level, which is where pretty much all their rescues happen
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Dude, a normal person doesn't enter a gun store 50,000 times in a single day
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I mean, if even Iceland can get it right, why can't we?
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First pics of Vegas shooter's weapons
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NPR staffer accidentally posts personal status to NPR social media account, brings a little brightness to a dark day
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Nothing exciting here, folks, just the President throwing around hurricane relief supplies like they're basketballs
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(Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this red panda
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Las Vegas gunman Stephen Paddock once tried to sue a Las Vegas casino after he slipped and injured himself while walking through the hotel. Well I guess that explains everything
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Jimmy Kimmel's emotional, powerful monologue on the Vegas shooting
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New York Post apparently out to kill the 'sexy costume' industry
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This story has it all. Crash through the gate and a pole at the airport. Flee. Lay down in someone's yard, only in your underwear because a snake has crawled up your pants. While traveling from Mississippi to Louisiana to see a voodoo doctor
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If you accidentally run over a fellow state trooper during a high speed chase, don't ask the body shop for a piece of the bumper to frame
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Fark NotNewsletter: We've not received bribes from Adidas
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Well, to be fair, the officer didn't actually say "Stop having sex in the back of the vehicle"
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If you're a CEO on Undercover Boss and promise on-air to pay for an employee's wedding, you better not get cold feet
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"Now I hate to tell you, Puerto Rico, but you've thrown our budget a little out of whack." Seriously, what the f*ck is wrong with this guy?
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Police hunt axe-wielding moped gang who stole designer handbags worth £300,000. Axe-wielding moped gang?
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It's been 1,000 days, still MH370 cannot be found. Is its disappearance related to DB Cooper, Sasquatch, global warming, pretty much any explanation is fair game
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Panic ensues after passenger pulls out fully operational Bible on crowded train
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"It is with a heavy heart that we report that the booby expired overnight"
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So many sad things going on right now, so here are some dolphins completely captivated by a pair of squirrels. Hope it cheers you up. (with video)
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Spam has only seven ingredients: pig meat, salt, water, sugar, sodium nitrite, potato starch, and marketing
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It took them six years but Japanese sea creatures displaced by the tsunami of 2011 are finally reaching the shores of the United States
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Photoshop this glass house
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High school students chant 'Build the wall' at football game. No word from Twitter if any of the players took a knee
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Here's why Australians will never understand the US obsession with guns
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You never want to be that guy who's found dead in a cupboard after a solo sex game goes wrong
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Vacant motel where alligator was found in the pool catches fire for a second time. No mad-libs were harmed in the making of this headline
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If you're wanted for skipping on child support payments it's probably best not to taunt law enforcement on social media
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Protip: If you get pulled over by a man wearing a shirt that says "Undercover Officer," he just might be a fake cop
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NRA silencer bill repeatedly suppressed by mass shootings
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Sure it's an older article, but since Fark likes to keep recycling old fear-inducing click-bait, let's set the story straight: "No, There Has Not Been a Mass Shooting On Average For Each Day of the Year"
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While everyone else is screaming and running for cover, drunk guy in middle of Vegas shooting crowd stands defiant and taunts Stephen Paddock
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Mon October 02, 2017 |
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Six years of mass shootings. One country. Hundreds dead
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Police officer was on the 32nd floor 16 minutes after the shooter started shooting and was told to wait for SWAT. They didn't clear the room until 60 minutes later
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Woman claims her dog found intact human penis and testicles on beach - although 'intact' might be a stretch
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"Would you like flies with that?"
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Lifelong gun loving country music guitarist decides that maybe gun control isn't such a bad idea, after all
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In addition to the 18-odd firearms the Las Vegas shooter had in his hotel room, he left 18 more at home, along with explosives and an assortment of "electronic devices"
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White American men are a bigger domestic terrorist threat than Muslim foreigners
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"On average, there is more than one mass shooting for each day in America"
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After saying she didn't have sympathy for the Las Vegas shooting victims because country music fans are Trump supporters, CBS exec retires to spend more time with her utter lack of employability
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Radical cleric blames Las Vegas massacre on heretics disrespecting God and country
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"He did stuff, ate burritos." Now we know cause of Las Vegas shooting
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Photoshop this last unicorn (aka KCBlueGal's husband Joey from his hospital stay last night)
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Fark cleared in investigation into Russian influence on social media sites
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The writers at The Onion are on fire today
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Tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8pm ET) brings you 2 hours of songs with a female's name in the title. The occasional end-of-show "Fark 2017" end segment is in limbo
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Ex-FBI agent opens cold case review into who betrayed Anne Frank and her navigator
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(The Internets) |
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Photoshop more function keys and accessories on this keyboard
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Tom Petty's Heart Breaks
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"No way to prevent this," says only nation where this regularly happens
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If there's any good news coming out of Vegas, people have been waiting all night at local blood banks in order to donate
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Here are some of the lies that trolls are spreading about the Las Vegas shooting. Don't share these unless you don't mind being an idiot
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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-09-24 to Sat 2017-09-30. For the 80s geeks among us, find the Real Genius reference. For the rest of us, there's plenty of NFL, North Korea, Puerto Rico, Hefner, butterflies, cryptocurrency, and more. All in less than 275 characters
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Walking dead "prankster" almost becomes the falling into traffic dead
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Shooter's brother gives voice to the bafflement affecting all of us: "Where the hell did he get automatic weapons? He has no military background or anything like that, he's a guy who lived in a house in Mesquite and drove down and gambled in Vegas"
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Attica! Attica! Attica!
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Florida man in Deland bitten by alligator near de lake
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It was an old white guy
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Tombs opened and coffins exposed in Louisiana cemetery. I'm sure they were just out voting, not raising an army of the dead
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OJ Simpson wants $5 million for his first post-prison interview so he can have the funds to resume his search for the real killers
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Jacob Rees-Mogg: abortion is morally indefensible in all circumstances including rape. What's that? Oh no... *making* money from abortions is completely fine
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Photoshop this cameraman
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Ways to achieve immortality: 1) Conquer the world. 2) Invent faster than light space travel 3) Swallow a toy horn and have it uploaded to the internet by some sadist
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Plus-size pregnant woman shares body-positive images of her and her fiance on Facebook, to great acclaim and support from friends and family. You better believe that's a firing
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At least 50 dead, 200 injured in Vegas shooting (thread 2)
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If you let a bunch of monkeys loose in Lebanon, Ohio, the police would like to have a word with you
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It's impossible that we're living in a kind of false reality depicted in 'The Matrix', according to a bunch of quantum physicists who obviously took the blue pill
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Good news Ryanair. We've found you some pilots
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Police log: Man claims he "found" 152 bottles of Jack Daniels
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Budweiser's help line overwhelmed by people upset about NFL protests. Oddly, no one is complaining about their beer
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Active shooter situation on Vegas strip at Mandalay Bay. UPDATE: Suspect down, according to police
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Twelve people involved in a massive $20 million food stamp fraud scheme wind up getting prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law
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Easy Company's Donald Malarkey's gone on to his last patrol. Rest Easy, Soldier
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