Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.

These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
Sun October 01, 2017
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
"So I posted, just figured maybe twenty people to come and now it's going to be a rally. Way more than just a small pack of friends riding, now it's going to be a large pack of friends"
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
White rabbit spotted travelling around London using the Tube and buses, I guess he lost his Jefferson Airplane (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
We expect too much from our romantic partners, the bar is just too damn high. You want in your mate a combination of: sanity + wealth + kindness + attractiveness + personal growth + not being a dumbass on social media, that isn't humanly possible
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Reporter wants people to know dust devils are not tornadoes, will not clean your house
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Mmmm, fish eggs in a blender
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lenticular cloud
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
What's more fun for New Yorkers than watching a bridge getting blown up? Watching the dreaded old Kosciuszko Bridge blown straight to HELL
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aurora Sentinel)
 
 
 
In the wake of a deadly gas explosion, Colorado ordered testing of gas pipelines. And it's not as bad as feared. Only 430 are leaking
source: aurorasentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Dear Deidre, my mate and I got REALLY drunk and had a threesome with a girl I just met ...and I liked it when he touched me. Am I now gay O_o?
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
ISIS continues their reign of terror, with an attack in... Edmonton?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press of Atlantic City)
 
 
 
Wait, having exotic birds and a cat in a restaurant kitchen isn't okay?
source: pressofatlanticcity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This guy man)
 
 
 
Photoshop this melting bird
source: cdn2.ettoday.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Does Vanuatu know where they are gonna go when the volcano blow?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
There are many ways to punish a 12-year-old girl. Waterboarding is not one of them
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitchy)
 
 
 
Say what you want about Spirit Airlines but they just delivered 27,000 pounds of aid and rescued 200 people from Aguadilla
source: twitchy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It's spider mating season, so brace yourself as 150 million giant spiders will take root in your homes, find their ideal mates, and reproduce. That's right; it's a literal giant spider invasion
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
Man revived after 19th heroin overdose. 19? Is there a Guinness record for heroin overdoses?
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
In today's Real Headline or The Onion test we have this head-scratcher: "Dark web drug dealer arrested headed to beard competition"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Not sure what is more amazing: a tree-trimming company in Pennsylvania got fined $95 million for hiring illegal immigrants or that a tree-trimming company in Pennsylvania had $95 million in the first place?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Ports close in Madagascar as plague continues to spread
source: voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
"Yeah, hello, 911? I'd like to threaten a judge, please"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
OJ Simpson is now free to resume his search for the real killer
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Part of it, I think, is that it just feels good to let out a great meow"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Dr. Seuss's nephew claims his beloved children's books are not racist, though those accusations will always persist despite how hard they otherwise try to insist
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spitting fire
source: img00.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Wedding shenanigans
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KnoxNews)
 
 
 
Stormfront white supremacist group with 330K members holding summit in Crossville, TN this weekend. What could possibly go right?
source: knoxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
For one brief, shining moment you could buy CBD oil extracts from Target's website
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The British government cranks up its plans to build a tunnel under Stonehenge to eleven
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
In about three months recreational marijuana becomes legal in California and even the state has no idea how it's all going to work
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
In Texas, homeowners fight with their HOAs over the right to park fully functioning World War II tanks in their driveways
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The world assumes it knows Kim Jong-un and North Korea ..but you know what happens when we assume
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
California schools pass out skin flutes
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
"Uncontained engine failure"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
So basically, if you meet a childless woman over 50, don't talk to her
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 30, 2017
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man won't face trial for murdering his ex-girlfriend after receiving early death sentence by prison chicken sandwich
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
....and the Trump tweeting about the NFL goes on and on ...on and on ...on and on ...on and on ...on and on ...on and on ...on and on ...on and on
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Man high dives from helicopter in Malibu and does not survive. Oh man, that's not the way it works in the movies
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
SoCal beaches stink
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Egypt hunting down gay men and forcing anal exams before their trials
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
WHEN 'YAP' MEANS 'NO': Ohio 17-year-old caught having sex with family's pet wiener dog - again
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
And now, fake news
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this striking stadium
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Or you can have what's in this box
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gwinnett Daily Post)
 
 
 
Woman arrested after allegedly attacking officers with flaming broom
source: gwinnettdailypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Before there was a Concorde in the skies there was a Soviet "Concordski" in the skies, this is the story of its tragic demise
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
No, Ceiling Teacher is not watching you cheat
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Horny........... tortoise ........... travels........... 6........... miles........... to........... zoo........... to........... get........... laid
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
OMFG the first known use of OMG was 100 years ago this month. In a letter to Winston Churchill ROTFLMAO
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Lawsuit alleges a man was killed following a fight over a Hot Pocket. Jim Gaffigan wanted for questioning
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
Apparently there are people who will gladly pay $270,000 for a 100 sq ft apartment that isn't in Tokyo or NYC
source: curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Girl)
 
 
 
Photoshop these masked birds
source: lifo.gr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouGov)
 
 
 
New poll says that just over half of Americans find themselves physically attractive and don't care what other people think. Subby can't be bothered with those numbers as he has to be at the gym in 26 minutes
source: today.yougov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: Top reasons why prostitution is better than nursing
source: mybitterpill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Indiana city creates world's largest chalk pavement drawing. No word on who will clean all the erasers
source: wfyi.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It turns out the Hawaiian crow was not permanently leied to rest after all
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Can'talan
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Actor proves quite convincing playing a robber, cops hail his performance as role of a lifetime
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
After the devastation of Hurricane Irma, one Florida man is determined to rebuild his community the only way he knows how: With rum
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Honor graduate of the Ric Romero School of Journalism pinpoints those elusive wedding clues that foretell a doomed marriage
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
A public health booze bill that wants to put an end to Ireland's drinking culture by putting it behind curtains in supermarkets? Good luck with that
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Someone actually thought it was newsworthy to sample and rate the best gas station coffee in every state... and someone else thought it was worth paying that person to write the story. Truly, journalism at its finest
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ohio is for idiots
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The loneliest streets of dreams in America. Here I go again on my own (slideshow)
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Parents hopping mad after gym teacher chokes students with jump rope
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Plummeting plumber's potential passing prevented (by) port-a-potty
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this idyllic waterway
source: images7.alphacoders.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Feel like your relationship with your SO is dead? Social media has probably killed it
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Florida police officer feeds stray cats, pays for their vet care including spay/neuter, and has so far found homes for 63 felines. Sorry FLORIDA tag, you're not needed on Caturday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
ICE detainees think they're paying $400 a month toward their $10,000 court bonds, but they're really paying $400 a month just to rent their ankle monitors
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: Bank teller steals $185,000. Fark: From homeless man
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Las Vegas PD gambles you'll take their word over an NFL player's
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(White House)
 
 
 
Trump on the deaths of Puerto Rican U.S. Citizens: It's been incredible the results that we've had with respect to loss of life. People can't believe how successful that has been
source: whitehouse.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Houston Fark Party - 90 day performance review
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Florida Man charters company plane to bring emergency supplies to Puerto Rico. Hero tag trumps Florida tag, just this once
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Not to tell you how to run a business, but you should probably stop holding your behavioral counseling sessions for convicted sex offenders inside resort hotels where families with children are vacationing
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 29, 2017
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The nation that designed and built the Avro Arrow will now be looking to bolster their front-line Air Force fleet by scrounging for secondhand American aircraft from such military powerhouses as Australia and Kuwait
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
To the people of Sichuan, China, worry not about the 78 crocodiles that escaped from a Sichuan farm, worry about the 5 still on the loose
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
If you've been waiting to be terrorized by a twenty-six foot tall wooden-faced grandmother spasmodically jerking through the streets of a major city, Geneva's your place to be
source: thelocal.ch   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
North Korea announces that it has millions lining up for government food assistance...oh, wait, "to join the military"....so, same thing
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
U-Haul truck disclaimer: Name does not imply you can just haul it away without renting it. Also does not apply to ATM machines you don't own
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"I am begging, begging anyone who can hear us to save us from dying. If anybody out there is listening to us, we are dying." --Mayor of San Juan, PR
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Seattle's origami butterfly mystery has been solved: it's anti-choice activists
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Russian hacker held by Spain on US warrant: "It would be unfair for me to be extradited to the US to face trial there because I might also face punishment there." For some reason the Russians want him extradited to Russia. Probably coincidence
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Yep yep yep
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
There are many ways the veterans of the Civil War could be laid to their eternal rest: burial, cremation, burial at sea, or the less common 'stuck on a shelf and forgotten for a hundred years' option
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi says OJ Simpson is not welcome in Florida
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
This bears repeating, polar bears really REALLY like a beached whale carcass party
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man opens fire after mistaking blown transformers for gunshots. Megatron denies involvement
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Norway responds to NATO's pleas for help in Afghanistan. Fark: by sending ten soldiers
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. And on this farm he had some methane-producing animals contributing a lot more to global warming than we initially estimated, E-I-E-I-OMG
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
NewsFlash
 
That's one way of getting out of repaying a half a million dollars of chartered flights
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWQC Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Donut company will deliver their gourmet wares to people via scary clowns. So if you know anyone in Iowa City who hates clowns but loves donuts, this is your chance
source: kwqc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Please note: if you drink too much at Oktoberfest, the police will confiscate your baby
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slackliner
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
Causation, correlation? School Board President in an area known for suicides makes social media post insensitive to people committing suicide. Maybe she should go into marketing
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Survey finds the average person at work is productive only about 3 hours a day - which actually sounds a little high
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
If you're thinking of importing a child sex doll from Hong Kong, a) you should get out more and b) you could end up in jail
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
U.S. pulling embassy staff out of Cuba after attacks from noise marines loyal to Slaanesh
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Well-known Farker gives NPR interview on volunteer radio operators heading to Puerto Rico (LGT The Takeway main page, only link to the audio story)
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Psychopaths prefer rap music and specifically singled out two songs - "No Diggity" by Blackstreet and "Lose Yourself" by Eminem
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Are you a single parent who wants to go to Europe but can't afford to take the kids? Good news, now there's a way
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Chinese 'business cults' prey on desperate job-seekers, promising wealth but brainwashing their victims. And you can get in on the ground floor right now for the low, low price of five dollars a month
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Apparently, we have a "creepy Hulk-like pig breeding" gap with the Cambodians
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Drive-by shooting at drive-thru leaves hyphens scattered everywhere
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Eleventy-one plus bourbon
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
Boobies
 
Now we know what the secret smile was about: a rockin bod. NSFW if your workplace has a thing against fine art boobs
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Stevens Institute of Technology to name campus building after wealthy, homophobic, creationist, with anger management issues. Also offer following courses next semester: Earth - It's flat, always was. 101
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
You might think paying $50 for a plain cotton t-shirt is a little excessive, but what if the vendor decided to include a "free gift" of a couple of grams of weed with the purchase? Welcome to DC where weed is legal to give away, but not to sell
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityNews Toronto)
 
 
 
Toronto police seek suspect who, if he looks anything like this composite sketch, won't be hard to find. At all
source: toronto.citynews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
US bank execs committing fraud get golden parachutes. In Vietnam they get a firing squad
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
White supremacist gets four years for hoarding homemade guns and threatening to shoot up mall if he didn't get laid soon. Did I mention he also pled guilty to child porn? Sounds like a real catch
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one before: a kid walks into a GameStop wearing a Kaepernick jersey and two Washington Redskins players buy him an XBox
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bad: Sleeping with a student. Worse: Sleeping with more than one. Fark: Turning your classroom into a sex den
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this head
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman can't believe her eyes as she spots penis shaped sweet potato at the supermarket. Perfect for gash potatoes if you ask me
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Today is national coffee day. So after dragging your dead ass out of bed and on the way to work, here's where to go to get a free cuppa joe
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
So far this year: Fire, floods, volcanoes, hurricanes, earthquakes. What's next? Fish falling from the sky? Really? I was being sarcastic
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Another white supremacist who punched people at Charlottesville learns about camera phones, arrest warrants, extradition
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fredericksburg)
 
 
 
What's that, Virginia? You have no problem with racists flying the Confederate flag from an 80-foot pole over the busiest highway in the state? Cool, cool, then we should be totes good with this woman doing the same thing with a BLM flag. Right?
source: fredericksburg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
It's time for the $100,000 pickup truck, y'all
source: truckyeah.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Attention people of Florida: Yes, we know cleaning up after Hurricane Irma is tiresome, but that doesn't mean you can just go around setting hurricane debris on fire in the middle of the road
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
We need to find ANOTHER person with a brain cloud to do something heroic? Joe vs. Volcano trifecta now in play
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Well, duh. Bad location
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Royal Caribbean cruise line gets the hero tag?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russia has a secret Anthrax island. UK scoffs, says their Iron Maiden Isle is better
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
OCD sounds a lot like Einstein's definition of insanity
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 28, 2017
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"Where do you want this pallet of water?" "I dunno, just throw it in the back of the plane"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
By acquiring TaskRabbit, IKEA is now finally in the business of assembling furniture
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hey Elon Musk, guess who is the new face of Cover Girl? YOUR MOM
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Murder suspect: I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling Google Street View
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Street legal upside-down Camaro flummoxes uptight home owners' association
source: blackflag.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Look, I don't care how you snuck into the concert, everyone has to pay for a ticket. That includes you, mister newborn baby
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Support your local police by making their jobs easier. Especially by texting them that you're a drug dealer
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Nope nope nope
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Tampa police shut down 'Rick & Morty' Rickmobile event after crowd surpassed 1,500
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
A) See a truck on fire with a boy trapped inside. B) Break glass door to retrieve fire extinguisher. C) Be told that using a fire extinguisher that doesn't belong to you is theft and you're not allowed to steal it, no matter what your intentions
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Snorkeler out spearfishing discovers nurse sharks are named that way for reasons. "Get the damn thing off of me" (w/video goodness)
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Yes, professional beer taster is a real job, and this brewery is hiring
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tab)
 
 
 
Five years ago a frat held a press conference to deny they all liked buttchugging
source: thetab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: 1 in 8 women get breast cancer. Today, I'm the one
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
This might surprise you but it turns out that tattooing your eyeballs is actually not a great idea
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Ever try to reproduce something tasty from a restaurant you've been to? How did it go for you... and what did you make? C'mon, Farkers, help us enjoy the good stuff in the comforts of home
source: copykat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Grab your paddle and crack open a Molson, the Mounties can no longer pinch Canadians for drunk canoeing
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Macon Telegraph)
 
 
 
Normally we don't approve of gimmick minor league baseball team names, but we will make this one exception
source: macon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these fashionable eye thingies
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Instructor injured in sheriff's use-of-force drill. Sounds like they're learning, all right
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Judge denies 'stand your ground' defense in Florida beating death, because apparently it's not a complete get out of jail free card
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Anyone missing a gorilla arm? One has washed up on the shore in Ireland and everyone is going bananas trying to find out who it belongs to (NSFW content on page)
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Imminent danger in California: "just got an emergency alert on my phone because it's going to be slightly over 80 in SF today"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Apparently Hugh Hefner took so much Viagra he had an infuction in his ear
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Toddler commits treason against the crown by stealing popcorn from Prince Harry. However, she was spared the usual incarceration and beheading
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Anybody here got a brain cloud and want to do something heroic?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
3-year-old goes full gangsta in day care center, wounds two toddlers in naptime shootout
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Dayton News)
 
 
 
Local newspaper publishes irrefutable evidence of existence of imprisoned aliens and weird green men at Wright-Patterson AFB, home of Project Blue Book. I call bullshiat: everyone knows there's no such thing as a "newspaper"
source: mydaytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Russian Burger King wants to ban IT because Pennywise looks like Ronald McDonald
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Homestar Runner)
 
 
 
Characters from yonder website. "That's right"
source: homestarrunner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Defense One)
 
 
 
You maniacs! You created Skynet. Ah, damn you. God damn you all to hell!
source: defenseone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Study ranks Illinois third in nation for dogs eating marijuana. Dogs playing poker still OK though
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Neighbors try to stop thousands of cockroaches streaming out of manhole into their neighborhood, are terrified of what could be scaring them out of the sewer
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spoon
source: d5wt70d4gnm1t.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you want your flu shot to be more effective, try to be in a good mood when you get one
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Adjunct professor, how bad can that be? Well, if you don't mind hooking and sleeping in your car, not that bad
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
America's unhealthy amount of sleep every day should keep you up at night
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
So NYC's MTA spent $100m constructing new pylons, and when asked what they were for, the Zerglings could only answer "No kekekekecomment"
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Drunk driver's attempt to get food from a closed McDonald's ends in McFlurry-free jail cell and merciless mocking by the police
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
No Ragrets
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The good news if you live at a site that's on the World Heritage List is that your home won't be destroyed by developers. The bad news is that getting on the list will bring a crush of tourists looking for Disney-fied experience
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Americans are caught in crippling debt thanks to states that are taking away driver's licenses and putting them in a circle of despair
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Chloe? Well, now your name's Patty"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 647: "Don't Burn Bridges". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.proceduraltexture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 27, 2017
(CNBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Goodnight, bunny man (semi-NSFW thread)
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Southwest Airlines saves the life of ungrateful woman with life-threatening pet allergies
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
It's one of those days where you can't tell if you're reading UPI or The Onion: "Toddler gets scooter-jacked by backpack-wearing poodle"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Coroner says Otto Warmbier's body showed no signs of torture or malnourishment
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
The GOP-controlled Congress about to take healthcare from 9 million children
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tab)
 
 
 
Former professor arrested for assaulting student in a grocery store
source: thetab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Minnesota in 2016: Employers can no longer ask applicants if they have a felony. Minnesota in 2017: How could a felon slip through the cracks to get this job???
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Saudi Official fired after a photoshopped picture of deceased King with Yoda next to him appears in textbook
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Manafort to be served, and he's on the menu
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Woman marries herself in ceremony complete with white dress, three-layer wedding cake, bridesmaids and 70 guests. Wouldn't it have been easier to elope?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Small town's new seal looks pretty much identical to the one that offended everybody
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this reflective bubble
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Writer apparently has a stroke while trying to disprove atheism
source: hellenicnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Washington Post submits headline to Fark, does not get approved, posts it on their own site in a fit of pique
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Not news: Boy who swallowed a Playmobil toy traffic cone has to have it surgically removed. Fark: 40 years later
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Mother has affair with daughter's husband. Then it gets Florida
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Contractors temporarily stop building prototype walls along the Mexican border because a construction worker fell down a 40 foot shaft
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Forget lazy millennials, "Generation Z" is eager to buy houses and confident they'll be able to. So don't worry about the housing market, those 0- to 15-year-olds and their stellar financial planning have it covered
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
What would happen if a warehouse containing almost 190,000 tons of munitions exploded? It might look like this
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
California is the state with the most people looking for sex threesomes. Mostly because it's just too expensive for only two people to share an apartment (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Unpatriotic disrespect of American traditions continues to spread when 1st grader takes the knee during class Pledge of Allegiance. Oh, Hell yeah, hilarity ensues
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tasty treat
source: mbkr-minimalistbaker.netdna-ssl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The National Archives has until October 26 to disclose the remaining files related to JFK's 1963 assassination - including more than 3,000 that have never been seen by the public and more than 30,000 that have been previously, but with redactions
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Measles hasn't been spotted in the UK for three years
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Baby found with $5,500 and cell phone in Oklahoma. Baby refuses to answer questions, tries to grab officer's nose
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOMU Columbia)
 
 
 
Missouri bar owner wants you to know he's not as racist as his homemade doormat might make you think he is
source: komu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Richmond.com)
 
 
 
Mayor arrested for public intoxication on college campus, before he could go streaking across the quad to the gymnasium
source: richmond.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
This year's trending Halloween costumes in the UK give you a choice between bad hair and worse hair (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Had a long and stressful day? Why not relax and pet your dog on Woofday Wednesday?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman arrested in killer clown cold case. In 1990, she dressed as a clown and killed the wife of her future husband. She would have gotten away with it if it weren't for the big floppy shoe imprint on the body
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Remember when strategic analysts were saying war with NK was unlikely despite all the rhetoric because neither side was initiating any sort of troop or equipment movement? North Korea just initiated troop and equipment movement
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Man's execution halted due to juror who watched too much Chris Rock
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Dear Penthouse, my wife and I went to a swinger's party and you'll never believe what *VROOOM* *CRASH*
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Ducks found in park pond with bills zip-tied. If only they had some kind of supplemental insurance
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"My son was racially bullied and turned into a meme by his classmates all because he wore a confederate sweatshirt to honor California's confederate heritage"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Origami butterflies with ominous "you are not safe" and "9-28-17" messages appearing in Seattle, causing concern. To be fair, the butterfly effect is unpredictable
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
The next innocuous thing that MAY KILL US ALL AND BRING ABOUT THE END OF CIVILIZATION FOR ALL TIME -- the office kitchen coffee mug
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Labour MP who has clearly never seen an Apache helicopter claims Prince Harry can't actually fly them. "I've been told that's an absolute fact that somebody sits beside him and *drives* the helicopters for him." Dumbass tag explodes in delight
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this gravity-defying child
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Pretty soon the vodka in your screwdriver will be cheaper than the orange juice
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you've been waiting for Steven Seagal to weigh in on the NFL knee protests before deciding where you stand, then today is finally that day
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Oh, nothing. It's just that the elevator I'm in is flooding. At the World Trade Center. Why do you ask?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Swiss zoos are now accepting unwanted pets. But don't expect to go visit them
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
If Hurricane Harvey didn't kill you, the ensuing flesh-eating bacteria will
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
ROUSes? I don't believe they exist
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Paul Horner, writer of fake news who said that Trump won the presidency because of him, apparently realized that Trump won the presidency because of him
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Beer + Beer + Pot + Machete + Driving in the wrong lane = $10,000 bail and an appearance on Fark for your dumbass t-shirt
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Intel unveils neuromorphic AI chip that mimics the human brain. It's out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead. All for $279
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Gentleman, you can't fight in here. This is the Empathy Tent
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Contractors begin building prototype walls along the Mexican border
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 26, 2017
(The Tab)
 
 
 
Anthony Weiner sexted ANOTHER girl and bragged his nose 'is so big that it hits the clit'
source: thetab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
You're doing a heck of a job, Trumpy
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Study finds that one third of people told to evacuate during a natural disaster will become Fark headlines
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
One if he was standing. Two if he was sitting
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
No
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
"It's just a little bit. I can throw it out," responds man to cop regarding his 3,100 pounds of skunky marijuana
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop these EOD divers
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Twitter just doubled the chances that World War 3 will be started by a single tweet
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
North Korea: "We reserve the right to shoot down any American bombers we see." South Korea: "Actually, it doesn't appear that your radars saw them flying up your coast at all"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Couple arrested for having $1M worth of unicorns, melting faces, and mesmerizing kitchen tile
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Was there a sale on flamethrowers? Because everyone seems to be VERY VERY ANGRY today. Well, I have 2 words for you: Bunny Lingerie. This link was brought to you by Classic Fark, when beer and boobies were more important than politics or even cats
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A teenage couple, 17 and 16, 'relaxing' at a popular lookout point, plunge down a 20-metre cliff in their 4WD - after someone grabbed the wrong stick shift
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Hurricane Maria is still a thing and she's laying mines on NC beaches
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Chronicle)
 
 
 
Man named Eric killed by swarm of bees, presumably unlicensed
source: thesunchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spitfire
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
In 2016 more people were arrested for marijuana possession than for all crimes the FBI classifies as violent. Does everyone feel safer?
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone: Rapper B.o.B. has now raised enough money to conclusively prove that the Earth isn't flat
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia decides to let women drive. Your dad submitted this with a tagline he stole from the 1970s
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Nearly half the US is unaware that Puerto Ricans can just hop on a plane and fly to the mainland to relocate like any other US citizen
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Baltimore doubles number of speed and red light camera systems, doubles profit. Submitter successfully installs red lights onto all of his headlines, waits for payout
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ask A Manager)
 
 
 
Don't ghost your significant other - it might come back to haunt you
source: askamanager.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British train operator wants people to stop leaving stuff on their trains after collecting 10,021 items during their first six weeks of operation. Shark, ironing board, barrister's wig, false teeth and leather chair - check, Paddington Bear - not yet
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Drinking coffee could cause cancer, according to lawsuit. To be fair, not drinking coffee results in FIST OF RAGE
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Detroit is back on top again, it was a hard struggle but with the cooperation of its residents, Detroit regains its top spot in the U.S. as a force to be reckoned with
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
So you've missed your connecting flight and have to stay overnight at the airport. Do you A: Try to get another flight? B: Grab a nearby hotel? or C: DANCE PARTY? (with video)
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
FBI arrests 10 in NCAA basketball corruption sting. Duke sucks
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Gay serial killer gets life for torturing victim to death in police-themed webcam sex session. If that doesn't get you reading then my name isn't Clickbait Clarence
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
World's largest uncut diamond sells for 6 Rhode Islands
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canton Repository)
 
 
 
And a salute to Johnny Appleseed, whose record for spreading seed stood for two centuries until recently broken by Antonio Cromartie
source: cantonrep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Fark Photoshop Tennis Match: Desert edition
source: pampascat.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
In Limerick, a furious lover / Shot at his ex-girlfriend's mother / The miscreant fled / The woman's not dead / And don't panic - the manhunt is over
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Army reservist owes thousands for court costs, bond after he was wrongfully arrested in burglary cases
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The good news is that there is only a very small chance that the parasitic sea lice infesting farmed salmon will ever make it to your dinner plate
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The effects of Hurricane Maria on Puerto Rico in 2 pictures
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Massive magnitude 1.5 earthquake felt 'right under people's feet' in New Jersey. No report of shoelaces becoming untied yet
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRDO Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
The Mad Pooper of Colorado Springs has a spokesman. Then it gets weird
source: krdo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
When you're Mark Zuckerberg you can't even pull up in a limousine to a cheesesteak shop in Philadelphia and order six cheesesteaks with Cheese Whiz and fried onions without igniting a culture war on social media
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
If it ain't bent that way, keep pushing
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The wedding was attended by 90 invitees and 200 extremely confused shoppers
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delish.com)
 
 
 
Just make it stop already
source: delish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The College Fix)
 
 
 
Apparently to some in the PC crowd, it's now time to rewrite the Declaration of Independence so it's 'gender-neutral'. *rolls eyes*
source: thecollegefix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 25, 2017
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Tim Horton's
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Smokin' Ed looks to break another world record, ring of fire
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
California state dinosaur announces official California state dinosaur
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Proof that Rule 34 applies to everyone, even funeral directors
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Your cop uncle is out of town. Do you 1. Wear his uniform to impress your girl | 2. Take his patrol car and pull over people | Spoiler Alert: Both
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Too pretty to go to prison. New hotness: Too bright to go to prison
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Accidentally scratch someone's parked car? An apology note, $40, and half a joint ought to make things right. Yes, it was Colorado
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Katie Quackenbush, the woman in Nashville who shot a homeless man from her Porsche, is the classic definition of country music struggle. She has a $2.5 million trust fund, is an $800-an-hour escort, and is seeking a reality TV show and music career (NSFW)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Drew announces a new book with Adam Savage 🤖
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you're running late for court, using fake police lights on your car while trafficking ecstasy and meth is a really bad idea
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop what Darth Vader is really watching/playing
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Tragedy today, as former Pope Benedict XVI was eaten by wolves. He was delicious
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight at 8PM EDT, Paul's Memory Bank brings you 2 hours of songs with places (specific or general) in the title. Yeah, we're done with the alphabet kick for a long time
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Train conductor demands legless man prove he's disabled, so the guy beat him with his wooden leg. Well, he should have
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(14 News Evansville)
 
 
 
The suspect was seen headed north on Route 41. He is described as wearing a Coca Cola bottle
source: 14news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Russia...
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
That dude is so getting laid later
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Usher is hailed as a hero for stopping a church gunman. Almost makes up for Bieber
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Things have gotten so bad in Greece that packs of wild dogs control the streets of most of their major cities
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Man arrested by Secret Service near the White House had a "slew of weapons", told officers he wanted to talk to Gen Mattis or Adm Rogers about "how to get the chip out of my head." He is expected to be working for Alex Jones by the end of the week
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Link
source: i5.walmartimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
"Pharma-Bro" Martin Shkreli is finally where he truly belongs: Locked up with the general population at the Metropolitan Detention Center in New York City. Bonus: No internet
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Lingerie-clad Miami high school cheerleaders .... and you're gone. I have 184 characters remaining. Anything you want to talk about? How's the weather? it's a hot one for the first week of fall here.... Jeez, still have 40 remaining characters
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
You've just crashed your vehicle into canal at night. As it slowly sinks into the dark waters, do you risk drowning in vehicle, or climbing out to face approaching alligators?
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Soon all of Hong Kong's dolphins could be dead (cetacean needed)
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
No one seems to know why Chad was just banned from entering the U.S., but it's likely because he's the guy who keeps leaving the seat up
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Bourbon Street party people: Can you believe that drunken loser is spitting on people from that balcony? Karma: I got this
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Tombstones found on power plant property, meaning subby's Walking Dead/Godzilla fan fic mashup is one step closer to reality
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man behind the infamous 1995 "Alien Autopsy" video reveals he was just fooling us this whole time. Finally we can take all these tight-fitting tinfoil hats off our loosely-wrapped heads
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Governor of Puerto Rico calls on Pentagon for increased hurricane relief in an attempt doomed to failure due to a lack of NFL teams on the island who could draw attention by kneeling
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
North Korean foreign minister says Emperor Hirocheeto's recent comments amount to a declaration of war
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
NewsFlash
 
If you have an erection lasting 21 months, seek relief in the prison shower
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-09-17 to Sat 2017-09-23. Just like healthcare.gov, Headline of the Week will need to be down for a little maintenance. For 12 hours, once a week, every week. Like any web site
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dog walker's dog fetches a sex toy and won't drop it. By now, it's all wet and gooey, and you know how dogs are (NSFW)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
If the cops find three syringes in your vagina, along with an opioid pill wrapped in a $20 bill, you might as well try and forge your sister's signature on the arrest paperwork
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Snake handler death declared a "mystery" despite snake being found near body, snake-shaped bruises on the neck, snake confession note
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lemur
source: static.pexels.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Man falls to his death at Wallace Falls. Were-rabbit, penguin wanted for questioning
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Cannibal family admits to killing and eating 30 people over 18 years. One of their victims was a clown who did taste a bit funny. I'll let myself out
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Let's see how Yolo Minneapolis's Free Speech Week rally went today. ... Oh dear
source: beta.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Attention people of Maine: Just because a farmer's corn is growing right next to the highway doesn't mean you can just pull over and pick some ears for free
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Zuckerberg was warned months ago about Facebook being used to spread disinformation to disrupt elections. Thanks Obama
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Damn near killed 'em
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Good: Lost 13-year old dog rescued by hikers on Mount Bross after being there six weeks. Fark: Who takes a senior dog hiking in the mountains in the first place?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
This is why they always did head counts on school field trips
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Remember when getting blotto drunk as a teenager was seen as a rite of passage into adulthood? Not so much with teenagers these days
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What does the fox weigh?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
These are only a small percentage of links submitted. Join TotalFark to see them all!

Link archives »






On Twitter




In Other Media
X
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.