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Sun June 25, 2017
(UPI)
 
 
 
"North Koreans invade South Korea." Well, okay, this is a slightly old headline. Like 67 years old. But it might not be a bad idea to keep it handy just in case
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman paralyzed for life after having an orgasm
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Former police chief robs bank. Amazingly the police had no trouble identifying the suspect
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Man arrested after removing 500 roadside advertisements. Police went to his home, say all the signs were there
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this discovery
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Jewish flags not allowed at gay pride parade
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Uber CEO needs a Lyft, Chris Christie breaking wind - er, ground, and what grownups are putting in their mouths these days. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-06-11 to Sat 2017-06-17
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Pretty soon we'll all be flying naked in a cabin with no chairs. The terrorists have truly won
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
Weeners
 
Trollpikken shall rise again
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Denver is cleaning up its streets one load at a time
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this team-building exercise
source: 1.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Farker Guy)
 
 
 
Meet "Dragon Man", The Most Armed man in 'Murica. AKA "Tiny"
source: talkofweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
The Cold War was a clash of both ideologies and bonkers concept cars
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada: No one can make poutine any worse. Boston: Hold my beeah
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
You're going to need a bigger flu shot
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Santa Barbara Independent)
 
 
 
So what WOULD happen if Mexicans stopped coming to the U.S.? Despite the administration's rhetoric, we are finding out right now, as the Mexican economy improves and family sizes shrink. In one CA county alone, it meant $13 million in rotting crops
source: independent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Get 'em out by Friday / You don't get paid till the last one's well on his way
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
So how hot is Arizona? Arizona is so hot that it is literally losing colors
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this aerial photo
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: That time my town went Hollywood
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
We could do dirty limericks here, but first you can take the Fark Weird News Quiz 6/11-6/17 edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gant Daily)
 
 
 
← Free Oil
source: gantdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
International flight forced to turn back due to "minor technical issue", which is airline PR speak for "the engine fell off"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
London calmly and efficiently evacuating citywide blocks of apts with flammable cladding. Just kidding, it's utter chaos and residents don't know what's going on unless they see it on the news
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The Devil wears Trumps
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Not content with assaulting adult passengers, United tries to kill a baby
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Children forced to flee playgrounds after attacks from a flock of seagulls. "I just ran, I ran so far away, I couldn't get away," said 8-year-old Horace Ipswitch of Sussex
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Marijuana cures 12-year-old girl of life threatening seizures
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Join us for two hours of diverse music hosted live by a farker in Juneau, Alaska (9PM AKDT/10PM PDT)
source: beta.tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Arizona asshat thought it would be funny to flee the cops at 100 mph on his motorcycle. Five times. Not laughing pic included
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 24, 2017
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Marijuana contains thousands of chemical compounds, more than fifty cause cancer, offers no medical benefits. Wonder drug, my ass
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Yoga session
source: cdn1.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Selling water at the National Mall? That's an arrestin'
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Plane is lost if you leave it in the path of a tornado
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Bazooka Ricky arrested for outstanding warrants by Pasco County deputies. If you thought his name was odd, it does go well with his mug shot
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Imagine Joe Arpaio in pink underwear, his tanned body glistening in the desert sun. Monday morning he goes on trial
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Nobel Peace Prize should go to this guy as he attacks IRS Scammers in the best possible way (some Not Safe For Work language in both English and Hindi)
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this colorful snek
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Panicmonger)
 
 
 
Institute for Sucking Every Last Iota Of Fun Out Of Summer recommends you not take your kids to the beach
source: kidstraveldoc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISN Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Slide spontaneously "explodes," attacking 9-year-old Wisconsin boy. In other news, the name Giuseppe is still being used
source: wisn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Meet Martha. Some say she's ugly but she knows a good steak when she smells one
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Farmers with herbicide-resistant Monsanto plants use weedkiller that drifts to neighboring farms, sparking Farmageddon
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Ken Ham's Ark Encounter is failing because atheists are refusing to go to it
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Outside Online)
 
 
 
Sure, many of us dreamed of one day hiking the Appalachian Trail. Dale Sanders just took a little bit longer to start his journey than most
source: outsideonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Harpers Bazaar)
 
 
 
So...what's on your summer reading list? The Saturday Morning Book Club is heading to the beach for vacation and needs some suggestions
source: harpersbazaar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Street)
 
 
 
Remember the "random wheel of oil price increase reasons" we used to have here? Well ... *spins wheel* ...hey, this thing must be broken
source: thestreet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Dope Magazine)
 
 
 
Whynotboth?
source: dopemagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mirage
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Mobster Sonny Franzese, at age 100, can now live a free life and try to make a world a better place
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Symba - the 35lb "tubby tabby" - has been adopted. He is getting used to his new surroundings and trying to convince his new slaves not to start his diet and exercise programs until after Caturday
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Does it still count as "a dry heat" when everything is melting?
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man caught having sex with donkey told, "It's your ass now"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Drifting an aircraft carrier
source: foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark GED Lawyers: I got a traffic ticket for rolling through a stop sign. Is it worth fighting? How would we do it? DIT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
A look at what Americans get wrong about porn
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
HOA from Hell forecloses on a home because of chipped paint on a mailbox
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Treating the elderly with respect means Nursing Home Staff not sending pictures of their genitals to others through Snapchat
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Now that pot is legal in Colorado and Washington, cops no longer have an excuse to pull over minorities
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 23, 2017
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Move over hipsters, a Minneapolis man did something silly with a bike 130 years before it was cool
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
You can't fight city hall, but you can ram the police headquarters if you're desperate enough
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida contractor fakes death to dodge angry homeowners
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
US releases photos of American war plane's close encounter with Russian MiG, chooses not to release Polaroid of Maverick flipping it the bird
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
No only works if you say no in the beginning
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
67-year-old man has the world's largest collection of Hello Kitty memorabilia. Sorry, he's married
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this monochromatic ballerina
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their heels, preferably along with a cute little flirty number
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Brendan "Making of a Murderer" Dassey order retried or released
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Appleton Police Dept has acquired an adorable stress relief Goldendoodle named Blue
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Badass New Yorkers turn into panicky 1950's-sitcom housewives when a big scary mouse shows up on the E train
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Deputies searching for suspect who may have jumped into Lake Sherwood. Current reports are that they are not merry men
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Man stabbed near Dick's. That's what happens when your pants fit like a glove
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Indian toilet charity renames village after Trump
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman forced to leave pool for wearing a revealing swimsuit that may excite teenage boys. In fairness, a good breeze induces a boner in teenage boys
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Teen arrested in Times Square for squeezing Wonder Woman's butt
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
I heard you like to paint, so let's Photoshop a painting in front of your painting
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
This story has it all: Russian intelligence officers, Florida biker gangs, millions of Russian dollars being funneled to Donald Trump. Jeez, all we need is a James Bond villain in the . . . oh, hi, Zorin
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
"For many tourists, firing a Gatling gun or machine gun rounds out Yellowstone vacation"
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
LEEEEEROYYYYYYYYYYY JENKINS dead at 83
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
That child-like sex doll you were thinking about ordering? You might want to rethink that
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Christian kindergarten teacher or porn actress? Why not both?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Move over, Assistant Crack Whore, the new worst job in the world is 'Cambodian Tarantula Hunter'
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
The pen may be mightier than the sword, but the police will apparently shoot you if you have either of them
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
USAF Thunderbirds pilots can do amazing aerial stunts and close maneuvering. Landing in a heavy downpour, on the other hand
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Butt who's the graffiti artist who's behind all these ass drawings popping up all over town?
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Oroville dam now hit with lamprey invasion - "the stuff nightmares are made of"
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
We have your dog's ashes here to pick up. They're kinda big. Do you have a cooler?
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
There should be a special place in hell for this guy. But a $120 million fine is not bad
source: wbur.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Smirk)
 
 
 
Caption this deep thinker
source: chongzhong.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Nearly half of Americans personally know someone who's been shot
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
Video
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a cool video of a gorilla splish splashing spinning in a kiddie pool
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Those 700 jobs Trump "saved" at +++CARRIER LOST+++
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
For a guy his lawyers plan to portray as a "boy genius," Martin Shkreli is kinda dumb: "Learning that federal prosecutors had opened an investigation, he volunteered to meet them- without a lawyer. After agents arrested him, he continued to talk"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
"#14: You must hand deliver a fruit basket to the King of Saudi Arabia each Ramadan. #15: You must renounce NASCAR and declare your loyalty to Formula One. #16: You must cut down the largest tree in Jordan with a herring"
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this abstract piece of ... art?
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Bay Area Fark Party - Oakland Beer Trail. Saturday, June 24, starting at Noon PT (probably ending with Sunday Brunch)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Calgary Herald)
 
 
 
Your most Canadian headline of the day: "Police advise Calgarians not to take selfies with moose on the loose"
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
There comes a time in every young Arkansan man's life when his babysitter looks at him and asks if he's ready to lose his virginity
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Setec Astronomy
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
2016 video of an officer pulling a car over and beating the shiat out of the driver before ripping him out of his seat. Bonus: video catches another officer turning off the audio mid-beating. Bonus 2: No charges have been filed against the officers
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Beware the squirrels with ballsacks
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Can't get nachos prepared the way you like them? That's a stabbing
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Back in my day, we used nuclear radiation to produce really big plants in our atomic gardens
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
There are no lesbian bars in Los Angeles anymore. So much for the gay agenda
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
If you lost your car in the Potomac River sometime this morning, police would really like to talk to you. Unless, you know, you died. In which case, sorry, dude
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 22, 2017
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I can only assume you are trying to enforce either Commando Mondays or Cardio Workout Thursdays
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Justin Trudeau joins Gary's Hug Club, which we are told is a CBS kids show and not that bar out past the county line
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"This is the first time that we are aware, that a black professional, in law enforcement, himself being shot and treated as an ordinary black guy on the street. This is a real problem"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fat, drunk, and calling the cops on the Queen of England is no way to go through life, son
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
This is why you don't buy children on an installment plan
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Deltona Deputies are seeking your help in identifying the Scumbag of the Week
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
And now another installment of California Freeway Pinball, sponsored by Road Rage™
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You no longer have to have a gender in Washington, D.C., as anyone who's looked for balls on a U.S. Congressman has known for years
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
If you thought your bus driver in Paris had unusually hairy legs the other day, this might be the reason
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
You might think a 43-minute lecture from 1979 on how lawyers should do cross-examination would be dull and boring. But you'd be wrong
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
A baby fell out of the window. You'd think that he would have gone POW. But good luck was with him that morning. He fell on his handy stuffed cow
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Boys at stuffy British school told dress code forbids shorts, and if it's too hot they can wear skirts like the girls. Boys: challenge accepted
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Beware of 6.8 California earthquake that happened in 1925 says humorous joke-playing computer to numerous news organizations across the land. Skynet's a real prankster
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Iraqi-American Christians can't fathom why they're being deported. "I voted for Trump, I don't think he's a bad guy"
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Military planes are designed with the threat of small arms fire in mind, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to shoot at them
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
"The Utah State Legislature is taking a sober look at the end of 3.2 beer"
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"I can keep you safe." Gut-wrenching video of toddler trying to comfort her mother moments after Philando Castile shooting
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Police bust golf cart chop shop, because if you're going to start a crime ring, you might as well start small and stupid
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Electric guitar sales have gotten bad - really, really bad
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Cop who shot and killed 15-year-old Jordan Edwards now faces assault charges for pulling his gun on a fellow driver
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crazy jumper
source: gdb.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Man discovers that getting his 10th DUI doesn't result in a card for a free drink. Also, damn, that's a hard 6 years
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Today's mantra for meditation: "Glug, glug, glug"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fitzgerald sailors may have been forced to seal watertight doors -- along with the fates of several trapped sailors -- to save the ship
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Tennis legend's '5 second' romp with model in a hotel cost him $25m. You don't even want to think about the hourly rate
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
All these dogs are good dogs. All these photographs are award winning photographs
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Flower Child)
 
 
 
Pro tip - Wait for the LSD to wear off before listing your house for sale
source: forsalebyowner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The cost estimates for restarting F-22 production are finally here, and just like the F-22, you can't see them
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
11-year-old boy goes missing. Police and news crews fan out with the local TV station news helicopter, only to find that he's a fan of The Drifters
source: wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Half human, half sheep, all Nope
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Bill Cosby to host seminars on sexual assault. Cocktails to follow
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Oh sure, a 7 year old boy who can't even hit the toilet bowl somehow manages to urinate on his neighbor's grill from the roof of his house, ruining his steaks
source: fox5atlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Which refreshing drinks do you reach for when trying to beat the heat? List to the left has tasty suggestions that are alcohol free so you can add whatevdafuq you like. Let's face it. No one tells Farkers the right booze to drink
source: minq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Just a friendly reminder that heroin and meth are not medically approved substitutes for epidurals when giving birth
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Sun)
 
 
 
88-year-old man tells police 1-eyed woman stole his wallet after oral sex
source: springfieldnewssun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Sanford rabbi, accused of impregnating teen, to face judge. Man, I don't remember that sitcom being this edgy
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
How to make a small fortune in the daycare business? Real life: Start with a large fortune. Fark: Sell cocaine
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Expired Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this smart parking meter
source: thecityofnewbrunswick.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Injecting your baby mama with cyanide in her driveway in front of a surveillance camera is no way to settle a custody dispute
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Get bitten by a tick? Well looks like you won't be eating any delicious meat anymore. SPOON
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In Oklahoma the law prohibits sex offenders from living near schools or public grounds, but it does not stop convicts from living next door to their victims. Read. That. Again. very. Slowly
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
PI man who died in shootout fell in with wrong crowd, according to sister who thinks a single Bengal tiger constitutes a "crowd"
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Hell hath no fury like a woman shorted of one chicken nugget
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Woman in bikini contest in high heels and you already clicked the link
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Italian airport has formal bribe system to bypass security but only for pesto. Way to shake off stereotypes Italy
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Rolling Stone's list of the 100 greatest metal albums of all time is ... actually pretty damn spot-on. Way to go, guys
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Swimmers warned over aggressive beaver
source: thelocal.ch   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Highway department installs massive zipper to open and close traffic lanes, threaten wienermobiles
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Some fan just stopped traffic to take a selfie with Dwayne Johnson...and The Rock was as awesome as ever
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Child Thinking Guy)
 
 
 
"Toy Safety" group yet again breathlessly reports that everything in the world will kill your children
source: toysafety.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blabbermouth)
 
 
 
Gene Simmons abandons trademark application for 'Devil Horns' gesture, even though KISS invented devil horns, trademarks, and applications among nearly everything else
source: blabbermouth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
An inside look at the secret government bunkers that will keep Donald Trump alive while you perish in the Armageddon he unleashes upon the world
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida police department looking to the internet for names for their new K-9 dogs. I'm sure we can come up with a few ideas here
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Full text of Senate GOP healthcare/population control bill released
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Screaming man chases brazen thief and pins him down until police arrive. The 5-year-old thief is released on his own recognizance, but the man will be spending time in State Daycare
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kitchener Record)
 
 
 
1 in 10 Canadians admit to having sex in a canoe - which is substantially more to those who admit to enjoying 'merikun beer
source: therecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The U.S. Army spent tens of millions of dollars buying the most expensive camouflage for the Afghan Army. Go ahead and guess what the problem is
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Residents of luxury apartments being used to rehome Grenfell Tower survivors try to express their objections without sounding like elitist, poor-hating asshats, with varying degrees of success
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
French Instagram fitness model killed in whipped cream mishap
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this field of view
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Columnist believes Illinois should be divided up and given to neighboring states. Unlikely tag is for Wisconsin wanting to take possession of Chicago, its sports fans and its drivers
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Canadian soldier sets new world record with a successful sniper shot at 2.1 miles. Proud Canadian army considers authorizing purchase of a second gun in celebration
source: beta.theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Four Greenlanders washed out to sea in freak tsunami
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Car burglar doesn't exactly get caught with his pants down...but that oughta hurt
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Chuck E. Cheese: The Best Bar in America
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Your doggo wants to know who's a good pupper
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Bad: fentanyl overdoses are climbing in Canada. Fark: a quarter of all donated organs in BC came from OD victims
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Livingston Daily)
 
 
 
Home Depot sued for lying about the size of its wood. Men everywhere wait nervously for verdict
source: livingstondaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Doritos' new "Spicy Loco Hit and Run" flavor not a fan with police, Doritos truck drivers
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
White Privilege Club Member Uses BMW Trying to Run Over Health Care Protesters Staging Die-In. Fark: On BMW Donorcycle
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
Video
 
Things I would not put in my mouth for 500, Alex
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 633: "Noir 2: Prints of Darkness". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 21, 2017
(Tucson News Now)
 
 
 
Owner saves dog from getting bitten by a rattlesnake. Owner takes the bite instead. Your dog wants you to order a steak for that owner
source: tucsonnewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Which classic childhood movies did you miss out on? Which ones scarred you for life? LGT some WTELF movie moments
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lego)
 
 
 
LEGO continues partnership with WWF to help prevent climate change, chair shots
source: lego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
PSA: If you lost a goose that was wearing a red thong, the RSPCA would like a word with you
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
One thousand naked Aussie swimmers plunge into freezing waters on the shortest day of the year. Bonus: It's called Dark Mofo. (Slightly Not safe for work)
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Welp, that's enough internet for the day (shudders)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Five nuclear facility workers, accidentally exposed to radiation two weeks ago, found to have plutonium and americium traces in their urine. What a pisser
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Sometimes "breaking news" means the news is breaking
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
F*ckery of the first degree
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lady and her piano
source: img02.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The morning pint: another London mainstay circles the drain
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Stabbing reported at Bishop Airport, possibly after they pushed him into doing that crazy alien knife trick again
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
High school valedictorian gives the graduation speech we all wish we gave
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
New York's MTA off to a rocky start with new driverless bus experiment
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Wanna play darts? No. Pool? No. Oh, I know what we can do: drink and throw axes
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida woman who intentionally let a snake bite her toddler has learned her valuable lesson: to not put video of it up on Facebook
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Be smart and stay safe to all the Gulf Coast Farkers
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
You can get all sorts of shady deals from strangers in parking lots: someone selling speakers out of a van, cheap steaks from a suspicious truck, Florida women trying to give away toddlers
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this boy and his moon
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Dwight Howard hosts a Twitter Q and A about various NBA trade rumors. Guess what happens to him five minutes later
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
It's 106 miles to Myrtle Beach we've got a full tank of gas, pot, cocaine, liquor, 50 liters of beer, $3,600, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Colorado just legalized texting while driving, as long as you're not driving in "a careless or imprudent manner"
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
NATO to Russia: Don't f*ck with us, comrade. *buzzes defence minister's plane*
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
All you guys who complain about websites being "broken" because you disabled Javascript, now's your time to shine
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
The words "international gun smuggling scheme" and "Free library" don't often go together, unless that library straddles an international border
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Too stressed out or embarrassed to join a Yoga class? Then Beer Yoga is for you
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TropicWx Hurricane Page)
 
 
 
Louisiana hunkers down and braces for possible closures of drive-thru daiquiri stands as Tropical Storm Cindy meanders in
source: tropicwx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Iran has banned zumba as part of its attempt to completely cleanse the country of joy
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News9 Oklahoma)
 
 
 
Subby knows a Filipina stripper who can aim, fire & reload
source: news9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." -Ernest Hemingway. Man, the best I can manage some days is sitting at a keyboard and drooling. This is your Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Otto Warmbier's family declines autopsy, possibly because they're still alive
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
The most treacherous battle of World War I was one you've never heard of. It was called the Battle of the Dolomites, and it happened in the mountains of Italy
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Police discover that the DC baseball shooter had enough ammo stored away to sweep the series
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
All caught on dashcam: California deputies pull over wayward llama that escaped from the llama prison and beat it senseless. Just kidding, they rescue it after offering it 'verbal counseling'
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
The Juicero not dumb enough for you? How about a $400 device that pours hot water over tea leaves?
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Counton 2)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: If you are breaking into a house, don't sleep there
source: counton2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Mother shocked that airline strands her 17-year-old son in airport overnight. Fark: She booked him on Spirit
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zero Hedge)
 
 
 
Illinois comptroller: "The state can no longer function without a ...budget without severely impacting our core obligations and decimating services to the state's most in-need citizens." They haven't had a budget for 3 years
source: zerohedge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Pun-masters duke it out in Brooklyn at the Punderdome, still can't get their lame submissions greenlit
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Thirsty Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bottles
source: eustiu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Ah the groovy Summer of Love in 1967 was the world's greatest hippyfest, but what inspired it besides all the drugs?
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
♫The Duke, Duke, Duke... Duke is ill ♪
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Michael Brown's family settles their lawsuit with the city of Ferguson, Missouri
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man supports and hold hands with his smoking hot wife during her trial for raping and sodomizing her middle school student. Dude needs a wake up call
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Pete Puma pissed people preempt his pigouts
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Mama Affluenza's bond revoked
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
9-year-old has his act together, saves his mom's life
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Woman rants about wanting to see a white doctor for her son. Since this was in Canada, she had to go on a six-month waiting list
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVO Kirksville)
 
 
 
Iowa police closer to finding man who went missing two years ago. One foot closer
source: ktvo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Venezuela changes its name to Grand Fenwick
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 20, 2017
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Mindblowing 'couch art' pays tribute to Chicago police officer, at least until the dog jumps on it
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Calgary residents are encouraged to go swinging by this confused weatherman
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Animal lovers in Britain share ways to keep their doggies and moggies cool during national heat crisis. "A cat appears to be confused at the sight of an ice cube in their bowl of water"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Just in time for Nope: Pizza flavored ice cream
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Jumping into the Missouri River is not a good escape route from a bank robbery, Mr. Fake Beard bandit
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newschannel 9)
 
 
 
Police investigating after two bodies found at Chattanooga cemetery. Fear more bodies may be found
source: newschannel9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NPR explains why you should be playing video games right now
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Student science experiment which launches egg 96,000 feet into the air to study atmosphere deemed an unforgettable success. No word on the success of the follow up egg drop experiment
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Senior student yearbook portrait: "I'm sorry, did my shoulders distract you from reading this quote?"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
ISIS chief cleric killed by US-led coalition forces. ISIS chief paladin still at large
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The new Ken doll will feature corn rows, a beefier bod, and a variety of skin tones. Still no genitalia, though
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Coast Guard airlifts man with stroke symptoms from cruise ship, over constant protests that he was perfectly fine, he was great, he was the President of the United States
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Sanford hit-and-run suspect claims victim 'said she was OK,' claims he only left when she called him a big dummy
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Fire Controlman 1st Class Gary Rehm, three months short of retirement, saved 20 sailors from a flooding compartment on the Fitzgerald. He drowned after he went back in for the last six of his "kids." "He said, 'If my kids die, I'm going to die.'"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man sets mousetrap to nab mail-stealing neighbor, catches postal worker instead
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Alaskan Orca gangs: Nice boatful of fish you have. It would be a Shamu if something happened to it
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
A Texas federal judge has to decide whether a painted body is a nude body after painted Texas dancers are putting up a fight against a $5 entry fee state tax, commonly known as the "pole tax"
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: If vacation brochures actually told the truth
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Lucky couple gets back $100,000 in cash they accidentally donated to Goodwill. They then returned to the first season of Better Call Saul
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man jailed for doing a poor Michael Jackson impression
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Even if the shot glasses are just the right size for him, don't bring your infant to a bar. And don't do shots while breastfeeding him there either
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Thar's gold in them thar hills. Thar's gold miners in them thar bears
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Please note: if you've recently purchased tomatoes from Food 4 Less, you may want to replace them with others without so much rat in them
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Why I quit the city and moved to rural France to rear pigs." Not that there's anything wrong with that
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Police release dash-cam footage of Philando Castille murder (Warning: Graphic)
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Americans no longer allowed on North Korean tours, will have to content themselves with less exciting trips to Cambodian minefields, Mexican drug cartel headquarters, or maybe quick jaunts running guns across the Khyber Pass
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
I don't want to alarm you or anything, but the Yellowstone supervolcano has been hit by at least 400 earthquakes since June 12
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Chicago Transit Authority:"Ohio will be eliminated"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMC 5 Memphis)
 
Video
 
Snake slithers from hood as pickup travels down highway. Driver and passenger provide hysterical commentary
source: wmcactionnews5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
You'd think is there was ONE JOB where you would insist your benefits package included health insurance, it would be "Bodyguard for a White Supremacist Internet Troll"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Study finds that subby has more emergency savings between his couch cushions than 24% of Americans have in their savings account
source: moneyish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
VA police are now saying that the killing of Muslim girl in Sterling was not a hate crime but "road rage" stemming from a traffic incident, which the family is just a mite skeptical of because she and her friends were ON FOOT at the time
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
I know they say that everything is bigger in Texas but that still doesn't make a lizard look like an alligator
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Normal household items suddenly gain sentience
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Russian fighter jet comes within 5 feet of US reconnaissance plane over Baltic Sea. No word if Tom Cruise was 'communicating' or 'keeping up foreign relations'
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
NewsFlash
 
Brussels train station explosion sees suspect 'with explosives belt' shot by troops as passengers flee
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
This just in: new study shows that men cheat because they just can't resist hot chicks
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
The US banned the depiction of living people on currency in 1866 after a treasury superintendent decided to put his own portrait on a five-cent note
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Big collection of Nazi artifacts found in Argentina, but no soup recipes
source: paleofuture.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
10 year-old develops tool for saving kids left in hot cars. It automatically tasers the parents if they accidentally lock their car with a kid inside - and then makes the parents stand in the corner with a dunce cap
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 7 KOSA)
 
 
 
Man legally changes his last name to Trump. No plans yet to begin 24/7 tweeting
source: cbs7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Work detail guard collapses. Prisoners immediately escape. Just kidding, they perform CPR and call an ambulance
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
Mugshot of the day brought to you by Gold Glove homeowner
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
New Hampshire teens attack Boston favorite "Keytar Bear". So this is how the Civil War starts
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Mysterious time capsule found in Florida. No one knows what's in it, but since it was found under a 106-year-old statue of a Confederate soldier, we can assume it's instructions on what to do once the South Rises Again
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
If we ban smartphones for children under 13 then only criminals under 13 will have smartphones
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Washington State Police to clamp down on the scourge of our times. That's right, left lane campers, your time has come
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oldham Chronicle (UK))
 
Video
 
Why is an elderly man stealing plants from my garden at 2:30am?
source: oldham-chronicle.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
Weeners
 
Nothing says good luck like a dried lizard penis
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
British English. It's not all codswallop. Balderdash to the left. Wazzocks to the right
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
You witness a shooting in a restaurant with your daughter. Do you a) duck for cover under the table b) run out the emergency door c) order the suspect to the ground and keep him there until police arrive. Fark: WITHOUT A WEAPON
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Bo Dukes indicted. Luke, Uncle Jesse last seen leaving Cooter's place
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
EF-0 tornado touches in Maryland. EF-0? So, what, some hummingbirds were flying in a circle or something? Good luck with the rebuild, guys
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Carjacker foiled by own stupidity of not knowing how to drive a manual shift car
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Steve Bannon, on why White House briefings are now routinely held off-camera: "Sean got fatter"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Beer Street Journal)
 
 
 
Zima is back
source: beerstreetjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Plus-size model poses in bathing suit to 'offend' body-shamers, actually looks great in it
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these empty clothes
source: i1.lrimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Corporate owners of "Captain Morgan" rum are a little suspicious of rival product "Admiral Nelson." Judge orders duel with pistols at ten paces
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
British tourists find out they can't claim 'food poisoning' from the resort's buffet after ordering 109 drinks while on holiday
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Grandma "enraged" that when paying $400 instead of $3000 for a plane ticket, you have to share a lavatory with the poors in coach
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It's very rewarding to adopt a senior dog because they're already housebroken, they don't need much exercise, and they get movie tickets at discount prices
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
An army of cats protects a museum. "We knock more things off of desks, shelves, and tables before 9 AM than most people do in a day"
source: dhakatribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
In Maine it's perfectly legal to catch too many fish and dump the rotting carcasses of the ones you don't want in the bay
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australian man fined for kicking the quokka, and no, that's not some bizarre Down Under expression for wanking
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Some folk'll never steal a toe, but then again some folk'll (severed human toe image warning)
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
Former Kentucky & NBA star Rex Chapman writes a moving story about his addiction to opioids. Addiction sucks. So does Duke
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 19, 2017
(Slate)
 
 
 
New survey shows that the majority of women like being sexually harassed. No, wait. It shows that the majority of men *think* women like being sexually harassed. Meh, same diff
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Boinking couple fail to come up for air
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRCR TV Redding)
 
 
 
Rube Goldberg's apparently now getting into the car demolition business
source: krcrtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
"The mishmash of marijuana laws in the three neighboring jurisdictions can be confusing for a concertgoer determined to smoke a joint." Right. Because local marijuana laws are what concertgoers think about before lighting up a joint
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
To Bill Clinton: Happy Father's Day ... from your son
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Drunk man rides his bicycle into a parked police cruiser and gets charged with drug possession, not having a light or horn on his (now broken) bike. Says he meant to do that
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Seven weeks out from Burning Man, and the playa is still a giant mud puddle
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Alternate juror for the Cosby speaks out about the deliberation process, "We had a hard time deciding where to go for dinner"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Shy 48-year-old civil servant unrepentant about marrying working prostitute he hired for night's romp, says his mum approves of the match. "It's a job. She's having sex but she's not making love. Not like we do"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Farking in the hospital
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Add fatbergs to your list of things to look out for at beaches, and it's not just all the overweight sunbathers
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Want to have a kinky threesome with your SO and someone else? Here are the top 10 U.S. states for having one ...or two
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this puppet master
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Companies that want to sell fidget spinners are now forced to bring "bags of cash" to factories in China just to make sure their orders are confirmed. Apparently you now have to grease their palms as well as their ball bearings
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
The end is in sight, we're up to the letter "R". Tonight Paul's Memory Bank brings you two hours of songs beginning with R, and there's another two hours coming up next week. TuneIn at 8PM EDT
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Scene: The Terrorist Afterlife. "So, in your final mission, you were given a Kalashnikov rifle, handguns, gas cylinders and a car. How many infidels did you kill?" "Well, I dented a police van"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Caturdays have been going on for over 9,000 years
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The military releases some more details about the crash involving the Fitz, including a small detail about what the ACX Crystal did
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Several inmates escape from Bali jail through 15m-long tunnel. no word if they showed up inside warden's TV set
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Caption this umpire/mascot interaction
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Bad: car drowns in a flash flood. Worse: car catches on fire. Fark: both at the same time
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Supreme Court strikes down sex offender social media ban. In other news... Hey guys, it's been a while but I'm back. Who wants a hug?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Who is to blame for selfie sticks? Teens? Nope. Millennials? Try again. Ancient Greeks? Bingo
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Warmbier to meet cold bier
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Christian bigots arrive at Knox Pride Fest to protest and tell everyone they're going to Hell. However, they didn't count on the Gay Men's Chorus of Washington, DC to be in the area on tour. Hilarity ensues
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
It's so hot in Phoenix that the water parks are catching fire
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slightly creepy montage
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Wind blows car door shut on 1-year-old. Mom calls cops for help, police arrive, free child, ticket mom with misdemeanor, for The Infallible Gods of Municipal Revenue must be appeased
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
New creationist book features gladiator match between Noah and a tyrannosaurus rex
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
I'l take Blatantly Obvious for 200, Alex. Answer: An unsecured Amazon server. Where should you not store personal and analytical data for 198 million Americans?
source: zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
River near Madison covered in toxic foam. Just tell the residents it's beer and they'll solve the problem in short order
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kinja)
 
 
 
Man who drove into pedestrians outside of Mosque was shielded from the angry crowd by some of the very Muslims he tried to kill
source: fusion.kinja.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Russia threatens to have their planes shot down, too
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Is the sobbing woman in this photo El Chapo's daughter? And would she be called La Chapa?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Brits ignore warnings to "stay indoors" as the mercury rises to hit the dangerous unbelievable temperature of 32C
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Argument between neighbors ends in fatal shooting in Commodore. No word on who was the Dixie chicken and who was the Tennessee lamb
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dunkin' fool
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Machete-wielding homeowner fends off 5 would-be robbers in what barely qualifies as news in Florida
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Wildfires in Portugal kill dozens, trapped in their cars trying to flee
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
17-year-old Muslim girl chased and beaten with a baseball bat on Ramadan. In Virginia. Police don't know if this is a hate crime
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Carrot vodka, for the wascally wabbit in us all
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You known you've trained your dog well if she knows how to ride public transit all by herself and has memorized where the stop for the local dog park is
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Why it's a bad idea to have trail running events in bear country
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Mmmmm. Protein
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Fark: Drunk farmer starts fight with a pig. TotalFark: Farmer loses and dies. WTFark: After pig bit off three of his fingers and his nads
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Best first-time dad EVER gives up his home gym for his daughter and turns it into an adorable nursery
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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