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Sun June 11, 2017
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're filming a movie depicting an armed robbery in Detroit, you may want to notify the Detroit Police Department first
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman who met her match
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
-in grill
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
A toast to your 82nd birthday. With coffee of course
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The horror... the horror
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
This day in 1509, Henry VIII marries first wife, soon will marry the widow next door
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
There's just something about a BMW driver
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Is Jimmy Carter the greatest living former president?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami New Times)
 
 
 
Just another day in Florida. Kids playing at the beach, Tourists buying souvenirs. A man towing a flaming boat down a Miami highway
source: miaminewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Dog gets a second chance and contact lenses. ... to help with all the dust in the room (tag is for her adoptive parents)
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman about to perform a miracle
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
Rare alligator gar fish caught in Indiana river. Scientists say the last time a prehistoric fish was seen that far north was at the Fort Wayne Red Lobster
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GuideLive)
 
 
 
Millennial snowflake questions the awesomeness of brunch. Bonus: his name is Britton and his hat is exactly what you would expect
source: guidelive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
"Hello, this is your captain speaking ... errr ... there's a 50-50 chance an engine might not work, so raise your hand if you think we should take off"
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Coincidence?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
What the hell is a "Babadook" and why is it suddenly a "thing" with the media? Here comes the Explainer
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
No, you're not doing God's work by selling concert-goers fake drugs no matter how many times you try
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
Man's first ride on his electric skateboard ends with $598 ticket. Fark: For not having insurance. UltraFark: Which isn't available for e-skateboards
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Here's why Nebraska will be the next hot retirement spot: Financial stability and quality of life. Here's why it won't be: winter
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
This weekend is the 50th anniversary of the very first rock festival. No, not that one. Not that one in Monterey, either
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this magic mirror
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Best CSBs and TF gifts from a thread fan
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's the weekend- time to catch up on your laundry, mow the yard, take a shower... Or you can put all that off for a few minutes for the Fark Weekly Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man wearing robe and sandals arrested at a London shopping center. Oh, fer Chrissakes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Duterte would rather claim that US "advisors" were operating in his country without his knowledge than admit he asked for assistance
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
One winning Powerball ticket sold in Sun City, CA. That means I didn't win. And neither did you
source: calottery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Glad you hit the $435 million Powerball? You may not be after you see your tax bill
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some India Guy)
 
 
 
Gaze deeply into my eyes and tell me what I want you to cook
source: news.mynahcare.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Panic ensues when macaque escapes its confinement. Subby can relate
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker in Juneau, Alaska. (9PM AKDT/10PM PDT)
source: beta.tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
During Pride Month 2017, please pause to remember those lost during the Pulse nightclub attack in Orlando. Because, sadly, some were not remembered by their families, even in death
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 10, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mother of the year candidate reinforces the case for Texas tag
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Well, it was looking like we might have an actual breastamageddon on our hands, but the Ocean City Council managed to pass an emergency ordinance banning topless women from the beach just in the nick of time
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Amateurs' home made satellite has miles to go. 28 million miles to be exact
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
NewsFlash
 
ISIS leader reported killed in air strike; Sterling Archer inconsolable, erect
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Fort Worth police respond to call where 95-year-old man's air conditioning broke down during TX summer. So, of course, they go to Home Depot, buy him new air conditioning unit. Bonus: Store employees chip in, too
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Restaurant chains like Buffalo Wild Wings and Applebee's. Mass produced beers like Budweiser and Coors. Diamonds. Bar soap. The list of crap products being killed by Millennials refusing to buy them keeps getting longer. You're welcome, Boomers
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
The Navy is screwed
source: foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this extreme closeup
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The Powerball jackpot is ginormous. I repeat, ginormous
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Illinois has become America's failed state. And the damage that has been done will take decades to repair
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Step 2: Advertise shuttle buses are ADA compliant. Step 3: Pick up disabled customers. Step 1: Make sure shuttle buses are ADA compliant
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
N-Phenethyl-4-piperidinone costs $1 per gram if you price it online, or $10,000 per gram if you use cop math
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this watery confrontation
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The latest battleground in the war against manspreading is in Madrid, Spain. ¡Oigámoslo para que el hombre se extienda!
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
You know who else really likes Disneyland? Well, not these 17 people. Or the Anaheim Fire Department hazmat team. The geese, however, seemed quite content with their visit
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Accident in "express toll lanes" causes lanes to be blocked, so company operating them raises toll to $31.50 "to deter drivers from getting onto them." So the drivers who paid that much only to find the lanes blocked will get refunds, right? Right?
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Several Latino businesses in California teamed up for Taco Trucks at Every Mosque, which was timed to feed Muslims after Ramadan services for the entire month in an effort to bridge both communities. This is what America is about
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Fat, drunk and stupid may be no way to go through life but it is becoming the lifestyle for more and more Americans. Obvious tag last seen on the couch with a sack of Fritos and a 40
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Holy rigor mortis, Batman
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Three men admit converting nuclear bunker into "Weedzilla" cannabis factory
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Beaver nearly ruins wedding by chomping pole in half
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Getting a tattoo and buying real estate have one very important thing in common: it's all about location, location, location (though it's generally easier to get rid of the house)
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this before with regards to US special forces in southeast Asia: "They are not fighting. They are just providing technical support"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Do you enjoy the great outdoors? Looking to grab a tent and a pack and hit the wilderness trail? Here are the best places in each of the 50 states to get in touch with nature (wifi not included)
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTOO Juneau)
 
 
 
Alaskan man misses crucial episode of MythBusters
source: ktoo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
It's an ideal time to start experimenting with carrot cocktails, said no one ever
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
One of the most popular themes in literature is the "Hero's Journey", as defined by legendary mythologist Joseph Campbell. The Saturday Morning Book Club is looking for the best examples of this theme
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Governor Scott will "absolutely" sign medical marijuana bill, so get used to seeing more of everyone's favorite tag around this joint
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these computer techs
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
To get the most out of a tasting room experience be sure to do your research ahead of time, avoid wearing cologne or perfume, and for the love of God don't be a cheapskate and buy something
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
"The Cat Man" of Arizona has saved thousands of feline lives over the past 13 years, and despite being 82 years old, has no intentions of stopping anytime soon, not even on Caturday
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
"Since when did a gigantic rubber duck become a meaningful symbol of this proud northern nation?"
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
In other news, kids still use checkbooks
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Did anybody ever notice this from the Candy Land board game?
source: litefm.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
"I spent a month dating sugar mamas and I wouldn't do it again," by Studman69
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Christian converts to Christianity, leaving Christians inconsolable
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
The USS Ford was designed to be the carrier that took the U.S. Navy into the 21st Century, BUT HER EMALS
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Finally a reason to go to the beaches of Maryland
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Melania and Barron prepare to start slumming it
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNCN Raleigh)
 
 
 
Today's smoking hot teacher charged with sex with students comes to us from Rocky Mount, NC (w/mugshot)
source: wncn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Brooklyn Paper)
 
 
 
Yes it's come to this: Gender-neutral beer
source: brooklynpaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Why Britain's young are voting in record numbers for Britain's past
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Do you suffer from occasional bouts of constipa-... OH. MY. GOD. (Warning: Graphic images)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 09, 2017
(UPI)
 
 
 
Your daily Daww begins with this albino porcupine
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Australian man planks next to massive, endangered python in the road. To be fair, that's still probably better than letting Steve Irwin stick his finger up its butt as would have happened in the past
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man who was responsible for creating the greatest culinary atrocity in history has died. Time to throw some pineapple and ham on his grave
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
This storm looks like a nuke explosion, except that it's a massive microburst and it just *unloads* on Dallas. Meteorologists called it a rain bomb and I'm sure that even the Cowboys Wide Receivers still couldn't catch it
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wave3 Louisville)
 
 
 
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from misplacing a shipment of a mother's cremated remains
source: wave3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"Mall's closed. Fish out front shoulda told ya"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Visiting other countries as a tourist is a great way to experience the world; you can learn local customs, like playing hockey in Canada, having a siesta in Mexico or going bankrupt from medical costs in the United States
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you're gonna sue your employer over trumped-up ADA claims, be prepared for your own lawyer to walk out on you and then get ready to pay the $2 million in damages when your whole plan backfires miserably
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Putting a couch in your car doesn't necessarily make it more comfortable
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Brave, misguided Florida man tackles a flood just one bucket at a time
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tri-State Homepage)
 
 
 
Two women accused of having meth in Beaver Dam. Norbert and Dag wanted for questioning
source: tristatehomepage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Trump says he's "100% willing" to speak under oath. Popcorn futures explode
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this angry expression
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Pharmacist brings a pool cue to a knife fight. Sinks a couple of balls
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida teen hired Florida sex worker for discount late night incall booty session, is busted by parents
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
I don't know what a fidget spinner is, but taking one orally looks like it leads to an endoscopic procedure. With helpful x-ray pic
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Largest virtual universe ever launched by Swiss researchers. Unfortunately, it's one of those lame universes with only four dimensions and only one of those can be time
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt action rifle, so we'd have a reason to be dragged to Mosul by our parents to be home schooled
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Brevard County Sherriff can't wait for the next act of terrorism. Wait, that came out wrong
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Wife's anniversary card to husband contains $55k Missouri Lottery scratchers winner
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Look ma, no hands)
 
 
 
Or as they call it in Florida, "Tuesday"
source: oxygen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Your car wash might be dealing drugs if a) police can't find a cash register or car washing tools anywhere, b) police DO find lots and lots of drugs, and c) the owner's name is Pooh Bear
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRCR TV Redding)
 
 
 
Shooting people with a flare gun loaded with a shotgun shell filled with cereal is no way to go through Life, son
source: krcrtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GQ)
 
 
 
Photoshop Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally dressing up as Sonny and Cher
source: media.gq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
♫ Everyone else has had more sex than me ♫
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The lengths people will go to so they can win BBQ competitions is getting ridiculous
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Normally birth defects are not helpful, but in the case of this 19-year-old pitcher... let's just say his birth defect may lead to a major league career
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
 
 
If you own a Tesla in the U.S., you can now always look on the bright side of life
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
There once was a student in class. However, she wrote poems like an ass. And when she was graded, it was the professor she hated. So she sued her so she could then pass
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
US anti-fascists take on alt-right fight squads in street battles across the country, which mostly just end up with people on both sides being arrested by the police
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Hundreds of rounds fired in attempted thrill killings leave some neighbors concerned about violence. You don't say
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Meet UK pariliamentary candidate Lord Buckethead, who lost to Theresa May by only 37,469 votes. Campaign promises included reducing arms sales to the Saudis and exiling Katie Hopkins to the Phantom Zone
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 12 Richmond)
 
 
 
Brave Subway worker tells robber to 'get a job' and stop robbing these places
source: nbc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Re/code)
 
 
 
Things you don't usually expect to see in an email from the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company to his employees: 1) "You'd better read this or I will kick your ass" 2) "Do not have sex with another employee UNLESS"
source: recode.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
This isn't the first time strange beaver has ruined a wedding. In other news, beaver trifecta in play
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Just another day working at customs: the illegal plants, the confiscated fruit, the $4.8 million of meth hidden in candles
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
China ramps up preparation for a manned lunar landing. Apparently they've decided it's easier to land a capsule on the Moon than set down a 747 at the Beijing airport in the smog
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here, just more Hanford employees fleeing in terror from another radioactive waste 'incident'
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
If you don't feel like paying your bar tab, faking a medical emergency so an ambulance comes to pick you up at the bar might seem like a good idea. But don't try it twice in one night
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Looked like a leprechaun to me
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Climate change's boning of the Earth is good for beaver spread
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Continuing their quest to be at the forefront of hard-hitting journalism, CNN answers the question that's on everyone's mind - What is dead butt syndrome?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man playing with fireworks
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
UK Opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn has delivered what is being called "the worst high five ever"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
People suspect that McCain's bizarre questions for Comey were the result of drinking too much covfefe that morning
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Remember the officer whose husband choked a man to death in a Denny's parking lot, because he urinated outside? They are being charged with murder
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
UK voting in pictures, including the Monster Raving Loony Party
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
There be whales here
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
That droning sound you hear coming from Syria is just Bashar al-Assad trying to compete with the US military
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
This just in: chimps aren't people
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The Ents are going to war
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
If you earn minimum wage in the U.S., you can live uncomfortably in exactly twelve counties across the country
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Not news: Group denied petition to participate in parade. News: said group is LGBT group, Fark: It is a pride parade. Ultra-fark: They support Trump
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Reality Winner not winning at reality at all
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Organ recipient accepts diploma on behalf of 13-year-old who donated liver, six metric tons of dust
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Couple joins the mile high club in their main cabin seats. Obviously they weren't riding Virgin
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Study shows she's more likely to shut up and leave you alone during Hockey than Football
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 08, 2017
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Former President Obama watches yet another program of his get rolled back ...... Did I say rolled back? Let's say repurposed
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kinja)
 
 
 
"This new White House is giving me a drinking problem"
source: fusion.kinja.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
AZ DOT shows they have a sense of humor when a truckload of Bud Light flips over on the road. The internet piles on
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Don't text and walk. With helpful video. No really, it proves the point
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
You're upset that your meal included onions, so you A) ask for a new plate of food without onions, B) remove the onions yourself, or C) threaten to shoot the owner before dropping your pants and exposing yourself
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Photoshop contest: Make a blockbuster movie poster worse than the ones for Spider-Man: Homecoming and Transformers: The Last Knight
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
According to UK exit polls, Theresa may have made a mistake by calling snap elections
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Police dog is sacked because it prefers belly rubs to fighting crime
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
You know lunch was epic when they have to evacuate three floors of your building because of the odor coming from the bathroom
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Apparently, they shouldn't sell cashews, either
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 New Orleans)
 
 
 
I think the moral of this story is don't film in a school bathroom. And also, don't dance with a loaded gun
source: fox8live.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Breakfast Thunderdome - Pancakes and French Toast enter the arena. Share your recipe/pics for victory.. and tell us why pancakes never quite stack up in this challenge
source: food-hacks.wonderhowto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Fertile Guy)
 
 
 
If you bought Mibelas 24 F-E birth control pills, congratulations: you're pregnant
source: news5cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Universal Internet Rule #4: Close those porn tabs before you take a screen shot
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Man comes well prepared for date with backpack full of beer, pot and sex toys. Not knowing the woman and breaking into her house... eh, minor details
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Googled it)
 
 
 
Photoshop this killing machine
source: media.quizizz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Seattle startup brings cow sharing to the internet, finally eliminating the risk of someone bogarting the cow
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Grandmother is hailed a 'national hero' after getting cars to slow down near her house by pointing a hair dryer at them as if it's a speed camera. Somehow I'm not sure it's going to be that effective after all this news coverage
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Even as the pile of evidence around the dangers of over-medicating children continues to mount all around them, many modern-day parents are struggling to get away from the basic fact that they simply like their kids more when they're medicated
source: community.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Dave Coulier's really big grin, a speeding ticket worth sharing on social media, and sax after 60. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-05-28 to Sat 2017-06-03
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
You might not want to claim an abandoned couch on the side of the freeway. It may be nesting thousands of bees
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Another unlawful Pinellas penetration
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
PETA, you so crazy. Any cat owner knows the cat would have ripped him to shreds
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
No Coke - Pepsi
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Have you ever considered that if you knew what was actually going on in the mind of that spider you're about to crush, you might not crush it? No? Alrighty then, smash away
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
An alligator jumping up at a landing plane is soooo Florida. Unfortunately, the gator jumped too high
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Balloon purchased to celebrate child's birth is still fully inflated 18 years later. Not enthralling news, I know, but given the UK election and Comey's testimony, I thought we could all use a lift. Lift, geddit?
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Tune in for the next exciting episode of "Boris and Natasha - Collusion on High" or "Comey Gets Cold Feet." Aw man, that trick never works. (Comey Crisis Thread 2)
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Aztecs carried out ritual sacrifices as part of their tennis matches. I suppose that's one way to make it more interesting
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Millennial with disposable income uses apps to randomly travel the world, thinks you should do the same thing
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mysterious Universe)
 
 
 
Over the past several months, there have been at least 15 sightings of a seven-foot-tall "winged humanoid" flying about in Chicago. I'm not saying it's Mothman, but it's Mothman
source: mysteriousuniverse.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
It is illegal to possess recreational marijuana in New Hampshire, "even if you only smoke it in Massachusetts." With Mugshot of the Year entry
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
When you need to get to your local Hooters fast, by all means, call 911 for help
source: hardboilednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GQ)
 
 
 
Protip for guys who want to sleep with women: Never play acoustic guitar for her
source: gq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Ann Jillian)
 
 
 
Photoshop Bob Hope's custom golf cart
source: palmspringslife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
What kind of person steals 37 Braille signs from a hiking trail?
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
It's your pre-testimony live feed stakeout of James Comey's home. Brought to you by C-SPAN. Come for the garage door, stay for the closed gate
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
You can't run, but you can almost hide
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 17 Columbia)
 
 
 
Missouri man has pair of pants stolen, and probably doesn't want them back
source: abc17news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Need Another Dozen Astronauts
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you're going to make a racist rant about the people using coupons in line ahead of you, make sure you can tell the difference between Mexicans and Indians
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
PBA Prez: Um, those police officers you see on video kicking and punching an innocent bystander who was set on fire by a car crash were really just trying to put out the fire
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
You know you're a lonely man if you find yourself showing obscene videos on your cellphone to the CVS cashier while paying for some beer
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Lawsuit claims GA cops conducted a warrantless search of over 900 HS students that included "public exposure of bare breasts" and "touching and manipulation of student's genitals and vaginal areas"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
One more reason to hate the Russians: Their invasion into Budapest in 1944 destroyed the Zwack Distillery where the herbal liqueur Unicum had been produced by the same family for more than 150 years
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
One woman robs another woman by ripping off her bra and snatching the money hidden inside. Curiously, the two men in the home who witnessed the attack did nothing to stop the robbery because they were too busy staring
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Climate change article from 1912
source: i.redd.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPBS San Diego)
 
 
 
California has a legal limit for alcohol intoxication, but it does not have one for marijuana
source: kpbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Just another day in Trump's America
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 631: "Grave Goods". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 07, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I'm a reef shark / I'm a reef shaaaaaark / suck your leeeeeg / I'm a reef shaaaark /
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
A new state law in Alabama will fine localities up to $25,000 for removing confederate monuments. Local grassroots organization raises money to cover the fine
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
State police declares all Florida drivers to be hazards, making flashers redundant
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Hamsters surrendered at Humane Society. Where they got the little white flags from, no one knows
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Abused Chihuahua made honorary police K9 unit. Somewhere out there, a criminal cowers in fear of a small yappy irritant
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
North Korea attacks the ocean with multiple land-to-sea missiles launch
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Lardbutt1k is a .62mile "race" where you are encouraged to slow down and get booed for running too fast
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nature)
 
 
 
Physicists create 2D magnets that are just 1 atom thick. Results to be peer-reviewed by Insane Clown Posse
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
And nothing of significant value was lost
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The latest thing to affect oil demand? Seagoing bags of snot
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Earwitnesses to triple homicide explain that it's not uncommon to hear gunfire in their tiny Montana town, offering that residents "tend to shoot skunks that wander through"
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
While you're waiting for FedEx to bring your last Amazon shipment you don't remember ordering, take the Fark Weird News Quiz, week of 5/28/17-6/3/17
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Unfortunately, there are not many options to treat your stage IV cancer. But trying to murder the doctors that treat you is definitely not one of them
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
In what's certain to cause a endless loop of the munchies, a Massachusetts dispensary has introduced the first commercial THC-infused pizza
source: wbur.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Fugitive arrested and charged with punching man with disability. Expected to post bail and announce run for Congress later today
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Your dream pool
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Russian propaganda posted on parody website becomes lead story on Fox News. Here's how it happened. Of course, the Sun is there too. No word on how it'll eventually end up greenlit on Fark, but subby has a pretty good idea
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Teasing cats with laser pointers. New Hotness: Teasing Jumping Spiders with lasers. And they have telescopes for eyes
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
I dub thee "Waterslide Jesus"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Police looking for sexy female robber who's been drugging and robbing men she meets in L.A. nightclubs
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
"Police said the man got up to get ready at about 5:30 a.m. Monday and found his neighbor in his bedroom, in nothing but his birthday suit." Difficulty: Utah
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man calls his brother from the grave after being buried alive by the Russian mafia. I don't know who his mobile provider is but that would make one hell of a commercial
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Good news for amoral people: Blood Diamonds are back
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman behind bars after her 5 AM booty call goes bad
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
32 mobsters indicted for trafficking 10,000 pounds of stolen chocolate
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Florida (naturally) woman gives birth to toddler
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"That's not a small amount of cocaine"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Scientists analyze Bourbon Street puddle water. No surprises here
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Boston to the rest of the U.S. cities: Suuuuucccckkk iiiiiiit (especially you, NY)
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Double Plus Weak: TBS Decides the 'T' word has to go, now we're looking back and it's gone
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this gargoyle
source: img15.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
150 pounds of meth found in popcorn boxes at border. Police tipped off when they realized 'Orville Reddentweaker' wasn't a real brand
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Scotland)
 
 
 
New York subway bans dogs unless they fit in a bag. Riders: Challenge accepted
source: heraldscotland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Alexa, please disclose my private conversation with my wife to our insurance agent
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Want to know how broken the news cycle is? Step away from social media ..far away
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
I could be wrong but I don't think removing a wrench from a swollen penis is something that is typically taught in dental school
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
If you retain anything from this article let it be the brutally metal band name Hanoi Rat Massacre
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
The title of nation's best bacon goes to Vande Rose Farms for their artisan brown sugar-cured Applewood smoked bacon
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
TSA reminds air travellers: 40mm grenades are not allowed in carry-on bags. Or checked bags for that matter
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
DC's Union Pub, which apparently is trying to kill its patrons, is offering a free round of drinks on the house tomorrow every time Trump tweets about Comey tomorrow from 9:30 am to 4pm
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"I've learned over decades of building that a deadline is a potent tool for problem-solving." -Adam Savage. So if you're short on time, break out the duct tape and C4 because THIS is your Fark Writer's thread, deadline approaching edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida deputies fired more than fifty rounds at motorcyclist, demonstrating the tactical importance of More Dakka in law enforcement
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SB Nation)
 
 
 
Ever wake up the morning after partying, and look at the bar tab asking "What was I thinking?"
source: sbnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
So what's the record for number of times arrested for drinking and driving within 3 hours?
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Casper Star-Tribune)
 
 
 
$234,763 embezzled from car wash. Police were alerted by a realtor after the suspect tried to buy a house with 939,052 quarters
source: trib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
News: Buffalo Bills rookie takes an Uber to training camp in Buffalo. Fark: From Chicago
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Military flight from Myanmar, also known as Burma, is missing after taking off from Myeik, also known as Mergui, and heading towards Dawei, also known as Tavoy. Investigators now looking for the plane, also known as a heap of smoking wreckage
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
♬ ♬ I told the Mozambique witch doctor targeting bald people isn't nice. And then the witch doctor, he game me this advice: Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang walla walla, bang bang, ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang walla walla, bang bang ♬ ♬
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mason City Globe Gazette)
 
 
 
Leroy Johnson in critical condition after his tractor rolls over on him. No word on if he screamed his name in defiance
source: globegazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this curious doggie
source: orig10.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Morons horrified after photo of what the separated ingredients in Nutella look like goes viral
source: awm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Trump has found someone who will pledge him full loyalty in exchange for leading the FBI
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Japan combines 2 of Fark's favorite things: cats and breasts. It they could include beer, Drew would emigrate
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
How hot is it in Phoenix? So hot it's causing car windows to shatter
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"Welcome to Walmart, with do-it-yourself dentistry now available"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Rescuers save man wedged in Denali National Park. Geez how fat WAS this guy?
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bozeman Daily Chronicle)
 
 
 
Bodyslam Greg files for a two-week continuance in his assault case. We could get the cheery prospect of a sitting Congressman on trial for tackling and punching a reporter. Is this a great country or what?
source: bozemandailychronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Mass shooting reported (spins wheel) inside Iran parliament
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Just marvel at the incredible detail and lifelike features... *rolls eyes*
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Not news: DUI driver hits sign, small tree, keeps going. News: School Bus driver. DIAF: With 12 kids on board
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 06, 2017
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
When you crash through the emergency room window, you receive instant service
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Yes. Well, when I see 5 weirdos dressed in togas stabbing the President in the middle of the park in full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards. That's *my* policy
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRN Nashville)
 
 
 
Suspect caught stuffing 15 quarts of motor oil down his pants. Fry wanted for questioning
source: wkrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Three wounded in Cocoa shooting. Apparently, they were cuckoo for Cocoa guns
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Not news: Having a kegger at your frat News: A guys coordinates an international shipment of beer from Maine to Iceland. Fark: His "kegger" is a 40-foot refrigerated shipping container that's a floating beer keg w/dozens of kinds of beer & 78 taps
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Peacock wanders into liquor store, gets smashy. That pea-dick
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
St. John Bosco's Brain stolen from a Catholic church. Police looking for an Igor. At least the brain wasn't in an Abby
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
You do understand that if Trump is removed from office, we go from having a moron in charge to having a religious fanatic in charge, right?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
"Authorities" seize "Fruity Pebbles marijuana" bar, misplace punctuation guide
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Wait... there's an upcoming tick apocalypse? That sucks
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Anthem Healthcare to Ohio: We're out of here - and you can thank Trump
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Khashoggi dead. ZOINKS
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man choked to death in Denny's parking lot, which is odd because that usually doesn't occur until after the order arrives
source: cw39.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Photoshop this security official in a secure stance -- securely
source: video-images.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If you stole a pick up truck in Aberdeen, Idaho on Sunday morning and then wrecked it, and impaled a guardrail through it, crossing a canal and then getting away, everybody wants to talk to you because WTF happened here?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Worldwide Interweb)
 
 
 
The 50 greatest job titles of all time. I take comfort in knowing that being a "Sex Robot Safety Inspector" could become a real job in the next 2-3 years
source: worldwideinterweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Report: Qatar crisis likely sparked by Russian fake news story. Russian fake news: Is there anything it CAN'T do?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A free shot in this bar only requires that you hold your hand very, very still ... right, Bishop?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
High prices force McDonald's to not offer the McLobster this year in Atlantic Canada
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
If you were wondering who the "BTR" is that filled up the QB throwing game high score list at the Pittsburgh Dave and Busters, now you know
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
This summer please remember: Despite what the Environmental Working Group tries to tell you, your sunscreen is not going to kill you in your sleep, sell your children into slavery, and start a new life with your partner in Sweden
source: vitals.lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
Have a valid EBT card? Now you can get a discounted Prime membership to order your flat screen TV. Lobster delivery not yet available
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
There are many things you can do when your car is stolen, but police don't recommend this man's 'Hunt the thieves down and hold them at gunpoint' strategy
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
George and Amal Clooney give birth to twins. Actual quote from their press release: "George is sedated and should recover in a few days"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Today's installment of "It's got to be China": Zoo feeds live donkey to tigers while visitors look on in horror
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Today's Fark ready headline and historical figure ready for Fark: "D-Day's hero: Andrew Higgins loved bourbon, cursed a lot and built the boats that won WWII"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Collector charged in theft of Star Wars items, will be frozen in carbonite
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this colorful condo facade
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Liquor Board of Ontario may go on strike...right before Canada Day. They have a word for this: EXTORTION
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Oh, looky here...Canada must increase their military spending because "they can't rely on the U.S. or others for protection". What, you're just realizing this now?
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Landowner has men arrested for picking hallucinogenic mushrooms on his property. Anyway, here's the address of the place
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
South Carolina court rules it's not against the law to take pictures and videos of women in bikinis if you're in public pool. With helpful pics of women in bikinis just in case you didn't know what that looked like
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Today's CDC warning: Please do not snuggle with your backyard chickens
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Millwall stabbed 8 times by London terrorists. Larfs it off. Who's Millwall? Fark you, he's Millwall
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
That time your mother texted you to ask what pegging is
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Seven things to do if you win a huge lotto jackpot surprisingly doesn't include "pinch yourself, you have probably overslept your alarm and need to get to your minimum wage job"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Today is 'Secure Your Load Day,' so be sure you don't blow it on a road anywhere
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Statter 911)
 
 
 
TV reporter & cop have a moment on camera. One emerges a star & one is looking for a new career
source: statter911.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Blurry pictures of Bigfoot aside. Someone caught a woman levitating. Or at least walking on sunshine
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A naked man seen walking across Welsh countryside while John Cleese sits at his news desk waiting to open the show
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
French police shoot suspect who incorrectly declared "Hammer Time" outside of Notre Dame
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
In marking the 73rd anniversary of D-Day, here are photos from 1944, and how those same locations look today
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Real Clear Science)
 
 
 
Twelve possible reasons we haven't found extraterrestrial life. Missing: We haven't checked under the couch cushions in a while
source: realclearscience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Principal fired over Confederate flag video, being white nationalist has a few more things to say
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Turn signals: Too complicated
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these smurfs
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
New comparative analysis shows that by sheer number of deaths related to terrorist incidents, Europe was a far more dangerous place in the 1970s and 1980s
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
73 years ago today, Allied forces launched Operation Overlord. For you historically challenged Millennials, "Operation Overlord" was the code name for the invasion at Normandy. Oh, Normandy is in France. Oh, right -- France is a country in Europe
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Of course the pesticides farmers use on their produce won't harm your children. Besides, six fingers and cysts on reproductive organs are hip with the younger crowd these days
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Come for "No Satanic activity at Renaissance Fair", stay for "he promised to call next time he had some meth so he would be sure not to use it"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Miracle baby born without a nose has died shortly after his second birthday. "He touched a lot of people's lives," his father said, with tears in his voice. "A lot of people cared about him"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Porn star wallops boyfriend in Pinellas. That's gotta hurt
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Trump Organization to launch 'MURICA themed budget hotel chain
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
In the near future doctors will be able to screen for cancer with a blood test, so you will know years sooner about your pre-existing condition
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Overly emotional support dog bites passenger on Delta flight
source: airport.blog.ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Apartment manager decides to replace damaged staircase. Sure, they informed the residents, after they already started removing the stairs. Of course someone has a problem with this. Like the second story residents
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBNG Binghamton)
 
 
 
Your move, Patrick Tribett
source: wbng.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Q: Is it safe for me to eat the mushrooms that sprouted up in my yard after a recent storm? A) No B) No C) HELL NO
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hamilton Spectator)
 
 
 
"My atheist friends are, in general, driven by a conviction that the earth is sacred"
source: thespec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Arby's, We have the bolts®
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Dear Ellie: My wife wants me to have sex with a stranger
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 05, 2017
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
That's some nice vigilance you've got there: London Bridge attacker was featured in 2016 TV documentary "Jihadis Next Door"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Museum will spend about $44 million to raise Revolutionary War gunboat from lake bottom. Whatever floats your boat, I guess
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
"My goodness My gracious" / they shouted "Come see 'em" / It's something brand new / A Dr. Seuss museum
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
On the 75th anniversary of the Battle of Midway, here's a look back at how a leak to the press almost turned disastrous
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Missouri Governor signs bill allowing lower wages on public projects
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Photographer turns shelter dog cones of shame into cones of fame
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Why don't they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs, Coral Dad joke thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Beached whale rescued from shore on Treasure Island Sunday morning, was pushed back into the sea in spite of constant "but I bought a three day pass to Disney World" pleas
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
UK releases names of London Bridge attackers, confirm their motivation included being the Butt of too many jokes
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Antlers man, Antlers man, drinking and driving like no one can
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: The word of the week
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Norwich Bulletin)
 
 
 
Connecticut police say man arrested for DUI didn't have tail lamps in his vehicle, but did have narcotics and a throwing ax
source: norwichbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this killing machine
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Colorado terrorized by naked yoga enthusiast (with SFW picture of what a naked yoga enthusiast might look like)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Business owner amazed and appalled at the idea that someone dying of a botched medical operation at his unlicensed cosmetic surgery clinic might be considered newsworthy
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight at 8PM EDT, "tunein" to Paul's Memory Bank for 2 hours of songs beginning with the letter "P"
source: beta.tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Oh, dear, I think I flooded it"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
American politics are bitter and divisive these days, so let's all relax and watch Canadian PM Justin Trudeau paddle his kayak over to chat up someone's mom
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Consult a physician for an erection lasting more than two days - especially if it's hourglass-shaped, dude
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
VHS tapes are becoming 'unwatchable' due to age, so archivists are trying to preserve that record of your painfully awkward Senior Prom moment for posterity
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Tractor trailer carrying live lobsters overturns on Nova Scotia highway. Drivers with trailers of boiling water or melted butter wanted in the area
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Middle schoolers in Texas decide to put on slavery reenactment for fellow classmate
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Libertarian mag asks: Uber, But for School Buses?
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
When your boyfriend "likes" a celebrity's photo online, obviously the correct reaction is to write a blog about it and poll your friends to see if you're justified in your anger
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
It's probably time to reevaluate your life if you start a brawl over a McChicken sandwich
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Saudis Spent $270K at Trump Hotel In Lobbying Campaign Against 9/11 Bill
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"He raised both his middle fingers and explained, using colorful language, that anyone criticizing Mylan, including its employees, ought to go copulate with themselves"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Bureaucrats indispensable in helping NYTimes reporters run offices in distant lands. Sorry - make that bureau CATS
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Portland turns up the crazy from "weird" to "vicious"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this playful scene
source: gdb.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
The internet tilde is the perfect tool for snark? *How about no* -no- _i think not_ [nope]
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
But.... who'll look after Gromit?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Harvard withdraws acceptances for ten students after their social media activity demonstrates they're already over-qualified to join the Trump administration
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10TV Columbus)
 
 
 
This afternoon's active shooter is in *spins wheel* Columbus, Ohio
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Things that go well with tuna: Mayo, toast. Things that don't go with tuna: Hep A
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Every couple of decades, John Kerry manages a real zinger
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Policymakers are considering random drug and alcohol tests for airline pilots. In other news, airline pilots are apparently NOT subject to random drug and alcohol tests. Enjoy your flight
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
The American opioid epidemic may be devastating, but it's good business for one business and their complete lack of morals, ethics, or ability to not break laws
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Boy rescued from claw machine after firefighters spend 30 minutes and $20 trying to win him back
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
King Douchenozzle von Crunk arrested on drug charges
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Unless you and 8 of your friends want to be gunned down in vodak-soaked, cold blood, if a guy says he was once a Russian paratrooper, JUST AGREE WITH HIM
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
NewsFlash
 
Reported shooting in Orlando leaves multiple fatalities. Story developing
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this low rider
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |