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| Sun May 28, 2017 |
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PSA: Stop defacing rocks in National Parks with your stupid promposals and be a man like me and ask her face to face. Now get the hell off my lawn
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WWII Veteran is planning his last mission to return Japanese flag to the family of the soldier whose body he took it from in 1944
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Introducing the Trump Burger
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Why it's never, ever, a good idea to wear blackface, white folk
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"Suicide by cop was my intention. I ain't fit to live. Not after what I've done." You can't argue with that
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Schmitt's Creek
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Memorial Day isn't about barbecuing and buying mattresses?
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Photoshop this pensive cyborg
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| (Some Guy) |
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Hello? Yes, this is Dr. Dog
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Mugshot goodness, a gorilla impressionist, and lingerie throwing. All just a typical week in Central Pennsylvania
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Man planning to swim 100km around the world with a tree strapped to his back. Sounds like he has a knothole in his head
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North Korea may have gotten a projectile to Japan. I'll be in my bunker
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The Trump family coat of arms, used prominently everywhere, cannot be used in England, because he "borrowed" it from its legitimate owners, who also owned Mar-a-Lago. Fark: He replaced "Integrity" on the crest with "Trump"
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Old and busted: Beer bong challenges at college parties. New hotness: Dead dolphin dancing at college parties
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Skydiving over the Hudson River and your parachute won't open? Just let it go man
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Photoshop this Best Korea Billboard
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And in today's chapter of the TSA trying to make travel as miserable as possible: expanding laptop bans to all international flights
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Still considering a career teaching high school?
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Area man gets quick preview of the rest of his life after proposing to girlfriend
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Someone tried out Betsy DeVos' brain reeducating company
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Snack Food Sunday keeps it simple this week: what's your "go to" snack when you're feeling a bit peckish?
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Now might be a good time to move to Canada
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Photoshop this serene scene (that's no doubt chock full of mosquitoes)
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CSB Sunday Morning: Perfect moments
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WHY did Van Buren fail at re-election? WHAT is the capital of Djibouti? And WHERE does a guy, a regular Joe like me. find a little... Action? This is YOUR *this* week's Weekly Weird News Quiz
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Radical femi-Nazi working to overturn and outlaw traditional, Biblical marriage
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Osama bin-Laden's son Hamza is trying to take over his father's business
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Trump toilet paper - be sure to wipe right
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What do you do with a small dead gray whale, what do you do with a small dead gray whale, what do you do with a small dead gray whale early in the morning?
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Dude, this is like the first country where you can smoke marijuana wherever you want to, man
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And much of value was lost
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Coming up at the top of the hour it's the Memorial Day weekend edition of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Join us for two hours of music hosted live by a farker in Juneau, Alaska (9PM AKDT/10PM PDT)
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| Sat May 27, 2017 |
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Some of you are celebrating the wrong thing this weekend
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She travels alone, across the country, in an RV, on a mission to save lives. She pays drug addicts to get IUDs, tubal ligations, and vasectomies
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Mother of the year found in Walmart parking lot
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HEROES
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"Doctor offices are dangerous, that's why I carry a gun in my purse" says woman who shot another person after dropping her purse. "See? My point exactly"
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Photoshop this snek gate
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They see me rollin', they hatin'
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You drove over the fresh concrete, you pay the $10,000 it costs to repair it
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At the meeting she held up copies of a study that she said showed that playgrounds can increase crime
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Photoshop this Philippine Eagle
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Sure and begorrah, Ireland is about to get its first gay prime minister just 24 years after decriminalizing homosexuality
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| (The Firearm Blog) |
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Don't know what to get that firearms nut? Bullets? Nah. Spotting Scope? Please. How about Gunsticles? Like Truck Nutz, but for your gun. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
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They ain't gettin' on no planes
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Definitive proof that Delta Airlines is evil
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Today's nightmare fuel: Lack of sleep causes your brain to eat itself
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Cool: get awarded teacher of the year. Sad: Announce you are leaving state because of how bad the schools are
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If you could hang out for a day with any author -- past or present -- who would it be? Yep, we're getting all "timey-wimey" this week in the Saturday Morning Book Club
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Photoshop this windfarm
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Black bear walks "nonchalantly" through suburban New Jersey backyards sending residents into a frenzy because they've never seen a 'huge' wild animal before
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Japan's most famous cat Maru celebrated a major birthday milestone this week. Here's to another ten years of running full-speed into cardboard boxes, just in time for Caturday
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Prison pizza
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Why the female cashier is being nice to you: A) she is uncontrollably sexually attracted to you, or B) because that's literally her farking job, you cretin
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No, the Midwest is not the birthplace of the American beer
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Bystanders try to stop man from harassing two Muslim women on a train in Portland, get stabbed to death for their efforts
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A day after a student went to the media with an "award" for "Most Likely to Become a Terrorist", another one comes forward with an "award" for "Most Likely to Blend in with White People" from the same teacher
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| Fri May 26, 2017 |
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Man tries to bite flight attendant then jumps off plane onto tarmac. The AAristocrats
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You ever have that dream where you're naked at a storage facility, so you drive off in a truck, but it has a giant black and white statue of a swan in the back? That... that was just a dream, right?
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Indian riot police have to use water cannons to disperse crowds of angry demonstrators and make more than 150 arrests during protests in Kolkata over...wait for it...the breakdown of law and order in the city
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The reporters at the Bozeman Chronicle are having a little fun with the police blotter today
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"Doctor, my heel hurts." "I can fix that by sticking my fingers up your hoo-ha"
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Boeing satellite engineer and wannabe spy sells out his country to impress fake internet girlfriend
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When the lie about having a Canadian girlfriend goes too far
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Matlock has been arrested. Don't let grandma know
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Theme park has first "Adult night", where fights break out by people who aren't good at adulting
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In Japan, officials' only response to ongoing demographic time bomb is to sponsor speed-dating events and fatherhood classes. "It's great that [the government] is worried about it. But these things will not work"
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Photoshop this Asian-themed restaurant
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Police advise citizens not to jump on the hood of their car should someone try to steal it
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"Ukip politician calls for death penalty for suicide bombers". Ummmm
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A six year-old boy wanted to give blood to help victims of the Manchester bombing but was told he was too young. So, he went out and got a bunch of snacks for nurses
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There it is - the late Friday Trump-Russia revelation, three day weekend edition
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It's fine if you want to sleep in the nude. Just don't sleep in the nude in the middle of the interstate
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A guy that would mock and then sucker punch a young man with cerebral palsy is not a model citizen in other matters
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Last year, the U.S. had a honeybee holocaust
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Baby hippo Fiona gets a beer in her honor, now if we see a hippo drinking beer that would be awesome
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New Jersey officer known as the 'Deer Whisperer' saves adorable baby deer from sewer
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Police officer catches young girl stealing shoes for her 5 year old sister, but instead of arresting her he organizes donations for her impoverished family. Tag is for the officer
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Three Mile Island on the verge of shutting down, Jack Lemmon unavailable for comment
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"Hand over those pre-paid credit cards, or you get caulk"
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Woman's service cat that detects when she's about to have a seizure runs away. In other news, someone thought it was a good idea to train 'service cats'
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New GOP bill would make it virtually impossible to sue the police, even in cases of egregious misconduct
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In a bid to be the next car of James Bond, BMW adds passenger auto eject as a standard feature
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these MOSFETs
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Innovative sous vide, trolling Ivanka, and roaming charrges. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-05-14 to Sat 2017-05-20
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Woman arrested for assaulting ex with pork fried rice. Apparently she hit him with a combination
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Teen selling her virginity hopes to buy a car. Yugo, girl
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Comey knew BUT HER EMAILS was Russian disinformation but went with it anyway
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RIP Denis Johnson, author of "Jesus' Son"
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Guy who came up with the Ice Bucket Challenge drowning in medical bills. If only there were a drug that could be easily made in an RV and sold to pay those bills
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Teacher resigns to become full-time 'lice slayer', equips herself with shampoo of cleansing and comb with +5 against mites
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11-year-old girl accuses her teacher of war crimes for punishing whole class when one pupil is naughty, cites the Geneva Convention to back up her claim, is now leading in all polls for U.K General Election
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"26 years, and I have never drank the water here"
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It's a nice day for most all of the country. You can go outside and play, or you can stay in and take the Fark Weekly Weird News Quiz for May 14 - May 20
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Men dressed as construction workers steal nearly $800K worth of jewelry from Brooklyn store. Indian chief, sailor, police officer costumes left unused
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It could happen to any of us: Greedy dolphin chokes to death on giant octopus it tried swallowing whole
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Another small part of True America died today, as Maryland has officially banned rolling coal
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Man hit by car. First-responding policeman offers aid and comfort while calling for prompt medical attention. Just kidding, he asks if he is an illegal alien before calling for help and has him detained by border patrol
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"This is your Captain speaking: We're now about to land at Portugal's Madeira Airport, please put on your Depends from the overhead"
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Thousands are fleeing the Philippines city of Marawi as open war continues between Duterte and his perceived enemies
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Walker's crisps invite the internet to participate in their latest advertising campaign. As you're reading this on Fark, you can guess it doesn't go as well as they hoped
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Another day, another record low approval rating for the administration
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This might be the weirdest NYC burglary haul ever. Thief scales building to steal 2 toy race cars, fondue machine and milk shake maker
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Police: "Hey let's put that crack in the lost-and-found box. Somebody would be bound to claim it"
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Trump's infrastructure plan. Hope you have toll money to pull over at the rest stop
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Des Moines, Iowa has worse affordable housing than Brooklyn, New York
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News: Florida no longer considers tampons a "luxury item." Fark: 41 other states still have the tax in place
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Photoshop this flexible woman
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Tommy Arthur finally ran out of Get Out Of Death Row cards
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Snakes have started hunting in packs and we've done nothing, next thing you know they'll be taking over first-class seats in airplanes and then what?
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Vermont will not descend into the anarchy of a legalized THC state
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Gallant administrator schedules gym-floor refinishing for summer when the kids aren't around, what with the fumes. Goofus administrator figures a Wednesday morning in May should be fine; what could go wrong?
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24 Coptic Christians killed in Minya, Egypt in what authorities are calling the largest attack on the community since last month
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You deserve some extra credit if you catch on fire during a high school science experiment
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It's a limo, not a clown car
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Free monkey
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In Finland you can put your child in forest schools where they spend most of the day exploring the outside world. That sound you hear is helicopter parents everywhere crashing on their fainting couches and calling out for vapors
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Man wearing body armor, mask smashes tractor-trailer into Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel. No one harmed during bizarre, but creative role play
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Kid is soooo embarrassed because his dad picked him up in school wearing only a speedo. Wait 'til kid shows up at graduation in only a bra and panties. That'll teach him
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Some teachers: Hey, let's give a "Most Likely To Be A Terrorist" prank award to one of our minority students. It certainly wouldn't result in us being mocked and having our humanity questioned on a certain news aggregate website
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In other words, the rhythm method coupled with an app. Are people really this dumb?
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| Thu May 25, 2017 |
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"By the power vested in me by the state of California, I pronounce you train station and wife. You may now punch your ticket"
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Meet the 97-year-old heartbeat of modern dance who will leave you winded just watching her
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Remember bow hunters, when you encounter a bear that's human hunting ...be very, very quiet
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Stay in denial all you want California but the BIG ONE is going to happen
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Man whose face chronicles his poor life decisions accused of pointing gun at Miami traffic
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Photoshop this orb touching ceremony
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Undercover gator poaching operation nets nine arrests. Apparently, they can only be deep fried or fricasseed
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Fark Food Thread: We know we have all the booze. Now for the pizza to go with it, so share tips for making a great homemade pie. Is the secret all in the dough? The sauce? The mounds of cheese?
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Did not see this coming- Blind woman pulls knife on waitress
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Family claims that the severed animal heads found under a bin were part of a 'cleansing ritual' to cure a man of schizophrenia. At least, that's what the voices tell them
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Photoshop this group of unclothed beach goers
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Homing pigeon smuggling ecstasy pills caught by police after it was spotted flying at breakneck speed all night without stopping and also constantly going to illegal raves
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Brits refuse to be cowed by terrorist attack... "I don't get scared until the threat level reaches 'Replacement Bus Service' "
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Alamo called "worst tourist trap in Texas." If only they'd let people visit the basement
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Most Canadian act of vandalism ever
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'Swallowed by collapsed cesspool' is not how you want to die
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Scientists injected seals with love and they all became best friends. Which is just adorable
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Texas legalizes the hunting of coyotes and feral hogs from hot air balloon
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Donald Trump announces that he will have the Justice Department begin an immediate investigation into who is leaking all sorts of sensitive intelligence being provided to the US by its allies. Justice Department: "Found him"
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Man mistakenly thought to have pledged allegiance to ISIS sues hotel, police for his complimentary turn down service
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Cops in New Hampshire are setting up roadblocks to look and see if you've got wood
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Now I'm not saying Toronto has a hobo-murdering serial killer on the loose, but homeless people there have been dying at a "staggering" rate of about 2 per week this year, by far the most ever
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Ever wanted doughnuts so badly that you would rip the bumper off a car?
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Former chief of the Mississippi Prison system who used to tell contractors he was "the Tallest hog in the trough" when demanding kickbacks from them, is headed to the pen on graft, corruption and tax evasion charges
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Girl pulled into water by sea lion to be treated for 'seal finger.' Seal will be treated for 'ankle-biter flipper.'
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"Nude dancers push back." Isn't that usually $20 extra?
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Buried in Trump's budget is a provision authorizing the unlimited capture, sale, and slaughter of wild horses
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Just in time to start off your day, Trump taunts China by sending warship to reef in South China Sea
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Loose lips sink ships... UK police stop passing Manchester bombing information to US following leaks
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So what's the buzz in this Virginia neighborhood? How about this father-son team moving 40,000 bees?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this rainy day moment
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Here is the cutest bear rescue video you will see all day
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Melania: Whateva, I do what I want
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Two college students spend 48 straight hours in a Walmart. "At one point I just went and sat down on the toilet for like an hour. It was the only place that was quiet and away from the lights. It was probably the best time I had"
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What dumbass keeps 30 handguns and tens of thousands of dollars in jewelry in an RV? This guy
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It's going to be okay. You can still display the only Confederate flag that mattered
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School cop gets oral sex from 14-year-old girl and receives probation and no sex offender status. At least he lost his job
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Woman finds sleeping opossums in her drawers. How they got in her drawers, she'll never know
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51 South Koreans arrested for smuggling two tons of gold nuggets worth £77 million in their rectums and private parts. Au, that's gotta hurt
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Already home to more deadly forms of life than anywhere else in the Milky Way, Australia adds traveling anti-vax dipshiats to the mix
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"Where all the white women a--- oh shiat they're on my jury"
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In Florida people get upset when the government closes down a swimming hole just because there have been a couple of alligator attacks there in recent years
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"I voted for Trump. Now he wants to cut the aid I need." Face-eating leopards unavailable for comment
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Is it too much to ask our police to *not* run over and sock 14-yr-old girls in the face? I hope that's not placing too much of a burden on our heroes in blue
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School bus driver treats busload of kids to Dairy Queen on last day of school. Naturally, someone has a problem with that
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 629: "Fire and Ice". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed May 24, 2017 |
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Removing monuments which valorize treason is "destroying history"
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Woman arrested for chemical endangerment of child after her newborn baby tested positive for THC. Prenatal tobacco, alcohol use still OK
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"Hey, everybody, I've got God on the phone right now ... for reals. No kidding"
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"Fancy phrasing" confuses California woman into thinking jelly beans are sugar free
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Lighten up, Francis
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this silhouetted smoker
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Texas sheriff blames Manchester attack on bad people. And by "bad people," he means the stupid politically correct British people who disarmed their citizens and let that guy in
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DOJ: Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III did not disclose Russia meetings when applying for his security clearance
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Fundraisers started for the homeless in Manchester who rushed to help the victims of the terror attack
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FIGHT...FIGHT...FIGHT...oh it's a teacher and an aide...Nothing to see here
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Pro-Tip: 'I guess you're here about the opium,' should not be the first words out of your mouth when a sheriff knocks on your door
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Grandma flees hit-and-run, causes second accident down the road, tells officers she drank half a pint of vodka, oh and those are her grandchildren in the back seat
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That is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this woman from another time
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New York businesses are providing Plan B to their employees to address commuter problems by aborting the drivers of the future
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If some stranger from the internet wants to buy your used iPhone for $450 but only has $500 in $100 bills and needs change, maybe look at the bills he's giving you before you give him the money and phone
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Move over China, India is number one in total human population now
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Woman knew something was fishy when her neighbor was hiding the founders of the Mormon Church in her garage
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Three things are guaranteed to bring farkers together: cancer sucks, Dolly Parton is good and genuine and Mr. Rogers rocks. This link has one of those three
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Best yearbook photo ever
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"Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia." -Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Huh, maybe that's why everyone who reads my novel gets sick. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
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Dude tries to escape police by looking like a lady, but ends up looking like Steven Tyler instead
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NJ activates emergency alert system, sends nuclear warnings to TVs -- by accident
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Woman stopped trying to bring a live monkey into court in her purse. Includes helpful photo of an x-ray view of a monkey in a purse
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And Jesus said unto his disciples "Verily I say unto you, that a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven...unless you are offered a free Toyota Land Cruiser, then I say go for it"
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Sure, Trump may be an arrogant inexperienced blowhard bent on profiting from the presidency, but at least he "united the entire Muslim world" according to his administration
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What is your best, one line advice?
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Porn and speed dating are the key to survival
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Do do do do do do do do d oOOOH OH OH OH GOD YES YES YES NOKIA RINGTONE (page might be not safe for work)
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Photoshop this simple coffeepot
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Man run over by tractor in LaGrange. Police want to know a-how how how how such a thing could happen
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At Buckingham Palace, the Changing of the Guard ceremony was cancelled over security concerns. So... those guys just have to stay out there then?
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United's PR is now on fire
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Some reporter just went to Walmart for the first time
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It's not spam, it's not robocalls - it's ringless voicemail and the GOP's FCC wants to make it legal
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Four hikers set new record by dying in Everest's highest camp
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Visit beautiful Juneau, Alaska.... find random body parts
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Stale french fries? That's a gas, gas, gas
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"So to recap, a couple of white ladies learned to make burritos good while on vacation and now they are literally comparable to Hernán Cortés"
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| Tue May 23, 2017 |
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Truck plows into Delaware company AnalTech, releases odor ...obviously
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Firefighters rescue ducklings that were swept down a storm drain. And by 'ducklings', I mean big, burly construction workers
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Two men with dreadlocks, one wearing a Jamaican beanie, are wanted for attempting to rob a marijuana dispensary
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Woman, 43, arrested for "passionately kissing" 14-year-old. And she's not even a teacher (with mugshot)
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Photoshop this peaking gator
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Vanity Fair Star Wars covers indicate how the protagonists will split the party for The Last Jedi
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ISIS-linked fighters have taken over a city in the Philippines. President Duterte declares martial law
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Shut down the circus and the next thing you know clowns with bladed gloves are slashing folks in front of a taco joint
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This day in 1934, Bonnie and Clyde shot to death in stolen Ford, proving once again it pays to take the rental car insurance
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Awkward is that time the TSA found your 3-D printed mouse penis
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God removed from $1.3M mansion purchased for her by angels, put into jail by police. Well, I guess we see whose side the cops are on
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Nothing says Happy Birthday like celebratory gunfire outside the Chuck E Cheese
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If you've been feeding the growing army of mangy Florida raccoons, the police would like you to knock it off
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Murder suspect who used big-penis defense found not guilty. Judge immediately issues gag order
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Nobody panic. The peach still looks like a butt
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Trump backed out of talking to Israeli Knesset over fear of heckling, what a sad sad snowflake
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Trump Swatted for Second Time
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Good news, everybody. CEO pay is rising again -- they got an average 8.5 percent raise last year. Let's all pull a little harder and sacrifice a little more, and maybe we can get that number into the double digits this year. COME ON, WE CAN DO IT
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Two dead in Riverdale shooting. Suspect seen fleeing scene wearing crown, dropping burgers
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Sir Roger Moore is off to that Casino Royale in the sky
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Data breach releases names of 16,000 Florida concealed weapon carriers, giving hackers a list of people to back slowly away from and leave the hell alone
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Iowa businessman discovers "Conservative Humor" is a lousy legal defense
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Rhode Island finds locked vault in state house. Could contain old records or faceless horror
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Man captures terrifying footage of massive spider carrying mouse up a fridge. Naturally, being Australia, they have adopted it as a pet
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While it's cool to find a few bucks under a couch cushion, woman discovers that her 30-year-old flea market ring is a 26-carat diamond worth $455,000
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Trump meets Abbas, confuses everyone by saying his favorite song by him was Fernando
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Evidently, Maine is home to the world's largest outlaw hovercraft gang
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A look at what George Orwell got right and wrong about the future we live in
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Islamic State group 'claims the Manchester attack'
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The Guardian spends a month with chemtrails conspiracy theorists from California and surprisingly comes out of it in OK condition
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I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a whale blowing a rainbow out of its blowhole
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Photoshop this dapper young man
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Let's hope it was mouse sperm
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If you try to be a practicing vegetarian but occasionally slip up and eat bacon, it's okay. However moving forward you should probably just call yourself a reducetarian
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Don't judge a book by its cover - especially when that book is face down
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The first American serial killer may have felt remorse for his crimes, after all
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You are one wild and crazy guy if you get shot in the head with an arrow and are still able to drive yourself home six miles away
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Four baby squirrels needed to be rescued after their tails all got tangled together. That's nuts
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This happened in Colorado, so clearly Lucifer's Lettuce has claimed another victim
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Man and two women arrested for having sex on the deck of the Triple D Bar "right there, in the middle of the day, in broad daylight. In front of God and everybody"
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Weather man to climate change deniers - "Submit your evidence to peer reviewed journals or stfu"
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Megachurch preacher catches hell for flashing "Hook 'em Horns" hand sign. The devil is in the details
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It wouldn't be summer without the first car pool story
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Nothing says 'I want to stomach you for the rest of my life' like presenting her with an engagement ring hidden in your abdominal wound
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It's a bear-y unfortunate situation as a black bear cub forced the cancellation of baseball and softball games
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Drone crashes into stands during Padres-Diamondbacks game, no word if it was sneaking in beer after the 7th inning
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Facebook's rules on banning have been leaked
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When Trump "jokingly" asked Comey to lay off the Flynn investigation, he must have thought it was funny since he also reportedly made the same joke to the head of the DIA and the NSA. Funny, both those would be familiar with Flynn, wouldn't they?
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Ever heard the story of the high ranking Catholic Church official from Ireland who saved thousands of Jews during the Holocaust? Well here it is, or you can watch the 1983 film "The Scarlet and the Black", since most people won't bother reading
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Fark NotNewsletter: A week of WTF
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Photoshop this low-seated bicycle
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Cop assaults skins at Canadian party
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Study concludes that due to genetics, smart white people are more likely to be autistic, while dumb white people are more likely to be fat and crazy. And here. We. Go
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The new Raiders stadium in Las Vegas may also operate as a casino by betting on the game
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Ariana Grande bombs
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Tonight at 8PM EDT, Paul's Memory Bank brings you 2 hours of songs beginning with the letter "N", covering most of the years from 1964 to 1989
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Don't bogart that joint my friend, it seems cannabis and Christ can coexist with devout southern Christians. Pass it down the pew
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DC bar serves "Pill Cosby" cocktail, with floating empty capsules
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When a Lyft passenger blows her nose on your seat cover and starts throwing punches, it's time to end the ride
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Steveston Harbour port chief: That kid had it coming. If anything, that sea lion is a hero
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Sharp kneed Aussie vixen's mail order bride plan unravels when quick and attentive customs folks read a few pages from her diary and check the Facebook feed
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I'll see your Nazi-Muslim convert and raise you an Arkansas caretaker who gnawed her elderly client to death in an alcohol-fueled frenzy of gore
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2017 shaping up to be the "Summer Of Poo-Poo Pools"
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News: A certain medication is in short supply in the U.S. Fark: baking soda
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Carry on wayward whale, they'll be peace when we un-stuck you
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Photoshop this fluffy pink metaphor
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You've been robbed, m'lady
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"You know, before I repair this guy's £170,000 sports car, I probably should take it out for a test drive. What could go wrong?"
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"A white supremacist is being accused of fatally shooting his two neo-Nazi roommates after they objected to his decision to convert to Islam." There is one tag alone that can do this story justice
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Amazon's Jeff Bezos has plans for a city on the moon, which will no doubt serve as a giant interplanetary package sorting and delivery center
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Deep gaping maw of destruction opens up at Trump's Mar-a-Lago
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Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross marvels at lack of protesters in Saudi Arabia during Trump visit, forgets what the country DOES to said protesters
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Mountaineers confirm that the famous "Hillary Step," the last obstacle on ascending Mount Everest, has collapsed, making climbing Mount Everest practically impossible. Or maybe just making it really easy
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Tomi Lahren tries to mock Notre Dame graduates for voicing their opinions. Doesn't realize she is currently unemployed for doing something similar
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Here is Texas Monthly's 2017 list of the top 50 BBQ joints in the state. Have you eaten at any of them?
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Fabio says all women need guns because California "Is Releasing All The Rapists". Perhaps he's worried about being goosed
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Melania Trump slaps away Donald's hand in public, as physical contact is no longer part of their revised contract
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Caption these fighting foxes
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Think we should put a steel plate over this giant hole we dug for sewer work? Nah, it's just an alley, what's the worst that could happen?
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Ruffled residents in England fill potholes with rubber ducks, accusing city council of ducking safety issue
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An oil company is actually doing something nice for once
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Neighbors say nuns are trapping, relocating their cats. Wait, what?
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Photoshop this breakfast
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All that talk of Amy Fisher keeping a low profile since returning to Long Island? Well, about that
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Ted Cruz once asked Stephen Colbert to 'humanize' him. Apparently he was sick of being mistaken for a blobfish
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It's time we take the cute gloves off concerning White House pets and rank them for how cool or weird they really were. Subby's going to bow to Satan, President John Adams' mixed-breed dog
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Racist snowflake melts down in Reno airport
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Looking for something warm and fuzzy to help deal with the Mondays? Here is a pit bull and two guinea pigs being great friends
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L.A. dog owners turn to spiked vests to prevent pets from becoming coyote kibble
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Man arrested after driving drunk and crashing his car. Fark: Into the sheriff's brand new drunk-driving awareness vehicle
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Man, sea lions are dicks
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Delta dump
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Lady gets locked inside CVS. The tag should not surprise us
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For all the talk of "let's live for today", and therapy trying to confront the past, it turns out that the central function of the brain is prospecting outcomes for the future
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"Oh, the huge amenities"
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