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Sun May 14, 2017
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Let us now praise single mothers, the unsung this Mother's Day
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Happy Mother's Day - and by the way, mom says you dads are a bunch of useless farksticks
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Corrupt police chief actually held accountable and sentenced to 3 years in prison for obstructing the FBI. Pigs seen flying in LA
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Yes, the tape exists, and it reveals a lot. (Warning: Not safe for work)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
This Mother's Day, get your wife the one thing she really wants: A useful husband
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Finally the Congress gets to work on something dear and important to us winos, making sure our wine will soon pack a higher alcohol content
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Italian race
source: gdb.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
What does it take to get $170K in stolen bees back? A sting, duh
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Someone stole a "$1800 luxury stroller" at Disney World [Facepalm] "$1800 luxury stroller"
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Well, the first clue was that they were nachos bought from A GAS STATION
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hot and steamy moment
source: s2.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Finally, a truly ingenious 6 second method on how to hide from the police
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
"You want a snack? Here, have a nice piece of fruit." Yes, moms are wise ... but what are the best fruits to enjoy on a Snack Food (Mother's Day) Sunday?
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Howdy there, young whippersnapper. This is a stickup. Give me everything in the register. Also, get off my lawn
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Things could be worse ... you could have a public relations job at United
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Kentucky cookie monster charged with stealing $15,000 worth of Girl Scout cookies
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Prospective employer says a job seeker is "worth an interview if only for a laugh" and calls her an "odd ball." Not surprisingly, someone has a problem with this
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space Daily)
 
 
 
"Ginormous fondue pot, bubbling over with piping hot awesomesauce." Who said that? Was it a) a ten-year-old getting a new gaming console, b) a millennial talking about their new favorite band, or c) a spacewalking astronaut on the ISS?
source: spacedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
For the record, Hobby Lobby is not closing all its stores, David Bowie was not kidnapped by demons, the New York Times' license was not suspended by the State Department, and Sarah Palin did not wake up from a coma
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: First the bushes...where else has Spicey been hiding?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Your Mom
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Nearly 1,000 students, teachers and staff in northern California's Yolo County laid low by the norovirus. #yolo
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
LOLs. U can't talk 2 your professor like this
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Woman woken by sound of her car horn honking, surprised to discover 200-pound black bear inside. Officer recommends to "always lock your car doors", bears repeating
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Mom is worth billions
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Treasonous descendants of traitors fire up the torches to defend statue of treasonous General, treasonously chanting 'Russia is our Friend'. Treason
source: newsplex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Prince Harry's father is still strokin'
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games 'til your wedding turns in to a 30-strong brawl
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The latest thing making you fat? Carbonated water
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Uh...hasn't it always been?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 13, 2017
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Teacher caught having sex with a student uses the old "he seduced me" excuse. Fark: At 2 a.m. (with mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Biloxi Sun Herald)
 
 
 
Something you don't read every day: Florida woman attacked by a camel at Jefferson Davis' last home
source: sunherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(patribotics)
 
 
 
Louise Mensch and Claude Taylor report sealed indictment against Donald Trump
source: patribotics.blog   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 6 Birmingham)
 
 
 
If you resort to beating your 6-year-old son for making a Mother's Day card for his grandmother instead of you, it should be obvious even to you why he chose her
source: wbrc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Country Church
source: bcdn.eatliver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
JetBlue ruins family vacation over a carry-on birthday cake and ... oh, look, video
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Distractify)
 
 
 
Do not watch this video of a boy asking his step dad to adopt him if you're not keen on spending your Saturday afternoon in a puddle of tears
source: distractify.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
North Korea continues waging war against Atlantis
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vogue.in)
 
 
 
"I am dismissive and (sometimes) contemptuous of food that is made with a narrow world view as its first priority. This is not the case in India, one of the few places on earth where eating vegetarian is not a burden"
source: vogue.in   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFVS 12)
 
 
 
Today is National Apple Pie Day. Thank you, Jason Biggs
source: kfvs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
You know, Fark hasn't had a good 'squatter' thread in a while
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Create a new plant
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
If you know who this elegant lady was, Norwegian police would like to talk to you. Because they've been wondering for almost half a century (Warning: disturbing pic included in story)
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Murderer seeks execution by firing squad ... Fark: Because lethal injection is "too painful"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
The fastest rising baby name in the U.S. is Kylo Ren after parents determine that the name Donald is just too evil
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
15 sharks have fins to the left, fins to the right, and you're the only bait in town
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
LSD may be a great brain-enhancing supplement that could help humanoids beat computers in games with a creative element played inside a crystal palace with flocks of ostriches hovering above the seven jesters jestering in lakes of vibrant gold eels
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stance Is Everything)
 
 
 
Boxy but gooder: The curious culture of low-rider Volvos
source: stanceiseverything.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
UFO hunters claim 'Alien tank' was left behind on the moon by extraterrestrial army. Uh huh...alrighty then
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Use a plastic bat to defend your kid from a crazy attacking goose? That's a fowl ticket
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Book Guy)
 
 
 
A wise man once said, "Never judge a book by the movie." But sometimes, Hollywood gets it right...and sometimes, dare we say it, the movie was better. Share your adaptation opinions with the rest of the Saturday Morning Book Club
source: listchallenges.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
What you should never say on your dating profile, according to research. Surprisingly, "I am a regular user of fark.com" not included
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this falling Kermit
source: orig15.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Twin Cities Fark Party. Because Twin Cities Fark Party
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of Israel)
 
 
 
Holocaust survivor shares a flat with a granddaughter of Nazis. Is it just me or do I smell a zany television pilot here?
source: timesofisrael.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Raisin, who started out life as an unwanted kitten who was deemed defective, has found her perfect home - working at a Vet clinic, where she helps and inspires patients and clients every single day. Including (of course) Caturday
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
From the "If you can't beat 'em join 'em" department: This year's Bear Creek High yearbooks have celebrities splashed throughout mostly so the cash-strapped journalism program can survive. And the kids love it, don't ya know
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"DHS reports you can come on board with your antlers, artificial skeleton bones, adults toys, balloons (uninflated), body armor, Harry Potter wands..." Wait, what?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Why are children's toys so boring?
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
It's the middle of May again, so it's time for the yearly envy of Norwegian month long high school graduation binge party, described as "like Burning Man, but with socialized medicine"
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
A good lawyer will work tirelessly to free you from jail. A great lawyer will smuggle drugs in for you
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 12, 2017
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
What is the nation's most lustful city? It's in Florida of course. And it doesn't hurt that its initials are the same as 'friends with benefits'
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asahi Shimbun)
 
 
 
Fukushima nuclear clean-up firm accused of "creating" bamboo forest via creative camera angles, forwarding pics to city government in order to "clean it up" and get fat decontamination payouts
source: asahi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Don't call it a comeback. Ebola was here the whole time
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
🎵 His Maserati did 144 / Killed a woman, now he's done for 🎵
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Agriculture teacher sexually harassed by fellow high school teacher, department head with "vile" text messages involving her "anatomy, powdered sugar, sex, cows, gallons of lube, artificial insemination, long plastic gloves and more"
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
The Philippines just bought a warship from South Korea for $100. No word how much they outbid Canada by
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Topless cleaner steals undergarments
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
As graduation prank, students create 6ft penis mural made from teachers' pictures. (Probably safe for work)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Wikileaks offers $100,000 bounty on the Trump-Comey tape
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
And NOW, Former AG Holder to current AG Sessions on his new initiatives: "You mean dumb on crime"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
NYPD working hard to figure out which transit cop drew a penis on a traffic ticket
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this racer
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDBJ 7 Roanoke)
 
 
 
Jerry Falwell Jr. expects this year's Liberty University commencement speaker Donald Trump "to tell [graduates] what he wants to do to make their careers run more smoothly and make it easier for them to raise families"
source: wdbj7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Spider Calf, Spider Calf, he'll give you more beef shanks by half
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
This guy paid strippers to do their thing on somebody else's porch so he could watch and do his own thing. Bonus: Pimps peering in the windows
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
Weeners
 
China gave its new aircraft carrier an interesting name
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ventriloquist denies that his puppet 'Grisweld the Super Dog' made sexual remarks to a woman in the street
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
'Niagara Falls' and 'feces' - two strings of letters that should never appear in the same sentence
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Meth logic: Man arrested for 'masturbating vigorously' did so because he hates Portland
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Chinese motorcyclist miraculously survives fiery explosion in video that finally answers the question of 'Where did all the engineers who designed the Pinto end up working?'
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ghastly grabber
source: 2.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Uh, Lieutenant; what were you doing 20 feet from a Russian plane? "Communicating. Keeping up foreign relations. I was, uh, you know, giving him 'the bird'"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
When you need a law firm to certify that you have no financial connection to Russia you should really avoid the 2016 Russian Law Firm of the Year
source: morganlewis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
New simulation program aims to overcome air travel anxiety, possibly by letting people virtually experience being beaten by airport police or snarled at by rabid United Airline attendants
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
UK hospitals report major computer issues after massive cyber attack, so I guess socialized medicine isn't all that great after all, huh?
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Couple who lost a ton of weight are set to tie the knot. They've already turned that lost weight into a whole extra set of people which is an option subby was unaware of
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
I don't know what killed Cthulhu but its body just washed up in Indonesia
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Status of laptop ban on US bound flights from Europe downgraded from "Happening" to "¯\_(ツ)_/¯"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Caitlyn no longer a popular name for girls. In fact, all four versions of the name Caitlyn have fallen from the top 1000 names of girls. Hmmm... wonder why?
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Drugs, Lionel Messi, AK47s, glock pistols, smugglers...sorry, it's Friday and I'm too tired to form a coherent headline. Just read the damn thing
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"Secretary of State Rex Tillerson signed on Thursday a declaration acknowledging the threat posed by climate change to the Arctic and indicating the need for action to curb its impact on the region." *blink blink* What the hell just happened?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Chuck Norris delights, hydrates fans in Utah
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
United flight delayed after 'scorpion reportedly emerged from a customer's clothing' First words reportedly 'Here I am'
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
"Dear Rolf, you better not be fooling around with those Trinidadian island girls over there or I'll castrate you when you get back"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Folks)
 
 
 
Photoshop these happy bowlers
source: pvestates.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNS Fox 21)
 
 
 
Meet the mysterious upstairs tenant in that creepy house-for-sale listing
source: foxcarolina.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Ask your SO if an open marriage is right for you ... go on and ask
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
SeaWorld dolphin is pregnant despite being on birth control. I blame the sperm whales
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
President Bannon turned to politics after Ducking out at the Cannes film festival
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Teenage girl in trouble for stuffing a GUINEA PIG in the wrong place and, of course, taking a video of it
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Witnesses say black man did nothing to provoke police shooting. Except for violating the "watchu looking at" law passed back in the eighties
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Barney the cocker spaniel has ridden 64,000 miles on two wheels
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 11, 2017
(UPI)
 
 
 
O'Duh
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Joe Camel has some competition from Benson & Hedges Bunny
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
"The department doubled-down on their assertion that the drug recognition expert is better at detecting marijuana in a driver than scientific tests." Welcome to Jeff Sessions' America
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
"As police officers, we see all sides of life. We have a front row to see the terribly sad and the extremely funny. That being said, this video falls into the category of the extremely funny"
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
NYU accidentally exposes military code-breaking computer project to entire internet
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Which are your favorite mushrooms to cook with? Do you build recipes around them or are they accents to meals you like to make? Show us the tastiest ways to use this popular fungus we find among us
source: everydayfrenchchef.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Horse served at Pennsylvania restaurant. Is that OK? They say Neigh
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Spirited Gal)
 
 
 
Motivate yourself to photoshop this speaker
source: beyondcareer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Hey, since it's Thursday, let's do last week's Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Springtime in New York: the air is warmer, the trees have leaves and the bodies in the Central Park Reservoir start popping up
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"Watch a dog sniff its way around town, smelling grass, fire hydrants and butts along the way. You might think 'wow, I'll never be able to do that.' But why not? Have you even tried?" Well, yeah, that's what led to the restraining order. DUH
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Those without basic kitchen knife skills have created a new epidemic: the "Avocado Hand." The dreaded "Mango Thumb" should be following shortly
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Messy Nessy Chic)
 
 
 
Meet the photographer who took the "Lunchtime atop a skyscraper" picture
source: messynessychic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Enterance caught sayof
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man killed by fire hydrant after being sucked under car. At least he died with a smile on his face
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Former Florida Congress Critter Corrine Brown found guilty in 18 of 24 federal corruption charges, wearing crazy wigs
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy washerwoman
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Popular" clown dies unexpectedly. The frowns won't have to be painted on at the funeral
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Joe (UK))
 
 
 
12 years ago today, Leeroy Jenkins single handedly stormed his way into internet history. As the debate continues on whether it was staged or not, one thing remains certain: Leeroy loves his chicken
source: joe.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Girl posts her grandmother's epic resignation letter online, and since this is in the Metro they have to show a cleavage baring shot of the granddaughter
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"I was baking brownies. That's when I saw the bear"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
She seems pretty cheerful for being accused of attempted murder (with mugshot goodness)
source: week.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Family demands to know how a 200-pound antique anvil disappeared from Area 51. The truth is out there, and it apparently involves Wile. E. Coyote in a flying saucer
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Apparently in Florida, going to an 'alternative school' means you can twerk in class
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
50-year-old man has surgeons remove two ballpoint pens he swallowed when he was 14
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Man sues in 'obliterated penis' case. 'Discombobulated penis' and 'defenestrated penis' cases hinge on the outcome
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Who knew a PT Cruiser could reach speeds as high as 100mph? And since the driver died in the police chase, we can't ask how he achieved this feat
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Pikachu, Christ...is...with youuuuuuu" *throws pokeball*
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
New £5 bank notes join the war on drugs in the UK, leave people 'Winstoned' when they use them to snort cocaine
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Well, bless your heart. Twenty-one passive-aggressive comments Southern women use amongst themselves. We'll all pray for you little darlings, sure 'nough
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Canadian girlfriends, domestic citrus, and NFL drug testing. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-04-30 to Sat 2017-05-06
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Spanish lawmakers vote to exhume Francisco Franco
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop Lee getting a sponge bath
source: 68.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Dylann Roof doing his best to make the court think he's nuts
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Church bans yoga from premises because it's non-Christian
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Once the United Kingdom removes itself from the European Union, that heart of the EU will be located in Westerngrund, Bavaria. Sicily will still be the taint
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
It's probably time we honestly ask ourselves if we're truly prepared to survive a national emergency
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
"In this incident, she allegedly exposed herself to a police officer and removed a dandelion from her vagina"
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The state of Vermont is now one signature away from legalizing recreational marijuana
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Man arrested for multiple incidents involving a fetish he refers to as "cranking" which entails removing a vehicle's spark plug wires to make the vehicle run roughly to help reach sexual self-gratification. I'm done with the internet for today
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Woman claims she was refused permission to use the toilet during a flight. She then asked the cabin crew for two cups and had to improvise. United Airlines is considering adding a "pee fee" and cup rental charge
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 627: "Happy Farktography Anniversary 12". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 10, 2017
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Masked gunmen storm Florida Denny's as the latest front in the Waffle House Wars opens
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Someone's not getting a tip
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
"Money makes you more likely to exhibit the characteristics of being a jerk"
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
This ransomware now pegs its extortion price to the local cost of a Big Mac in a victim's home nation, because these cybercriminals understand that people make less money in Mongolia than in France
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Political artist says war with North Korea inevitable. In his past life, he was a regime propagandist for the Kims
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Boo hoo... I'm too good-looking to find a boyfriend"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida man pulls gun on home intruder, shames him with a photo
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Mail carrier assaulted with fireworks really doesn't want to see them legalized, at least with his remaining eye
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
When you're on Death Row you don't get to pick which way you die
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN Greece)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man bringin' the heat
source: cdn.cnngreece.gr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Every inmate in a Colorado prison will have a computer tablet by the end of 2017. Will figure out how to make prison wine with them shortly
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
If the headline asks a question, man
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Mysterious silver pods appear in Seattle. Pod people soon to follow, or at least heroin users
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Seven-foot python found slithering down a street in France. Unverified and untrue reports claim locals first regarded it with snooty indifference, then ate it
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Alabama TV station reminding residents where local fallout shelters are, just in case
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Branch Dildonian sympathizer appears before judge for ratting out FBI informants. Odds are he'll replace Comey
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Dog saves hikers from grizzly bear, will guest host for Colbert next week
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Photoshop these wannabe fish
source: images.csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
'Sir, I'm not going to lie; I sell dope' Points for honesty
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Man gets shot in the head, then runs to nearby gas station to see if they could call for help, and maybe some of those nachos with the hot cheese from the machine, too
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Hey Mr. Gullible, since you have such a big d*ck why don't you meet me at Buckingham Palace for a threesome?" (not safe for work images on page)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
♫ Flintstones - meet the Flintstones - they've got a lien on your family van...♫
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
This just in from the Romero Institute: "Don't build on flood plains"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Old and busted: getting busy in a Burger King bathroom. New hotness: getting busy in a McDonald's dining room
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Adult film star faked shark attack because she wanted "viral" video
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Jimmy John's founder denies he's the naked guy seen in a photo humping a shark. Which sounds like something a naked guy humping a shark would say
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Raw milk is killing people, CDC warns. Just to be on the safe side, make sure you fire up the grill and get a good sear on the next gallon you buy
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Iran tests high-speed torpedoes after finally discovering how to launch them from their fleet of military donkeys
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Wait, you can get drunk off vanilla extract?
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
Anne Frank Memorial defaced with racist, anti-Semitic messages. At least that's what they told her
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." -Douglas Adams. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread, deadline or not edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Mother goose nests on couple's balcony - apparently a hockey fan: "We put an iPad out on the deck so she could watch the Oilers game...she hissed at the Ducks"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(myAJC)
 
 
 
The glory of GovCo contracting: Burn an interstate bridge, set a completion date with LOTS of fluff, complete the work waaay ahead of stated date, collect heeewge bonus
source: myajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Cops bust giant cock fighting ring. 130 fighting cocks seized. Many cocks had to be euthanized in some sort of cock gas chamber or something. Other cocks survived the ordeal uninjured. Cock. 🐓
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Everest climber found hiding in cave to avoid £8k fee
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Utah's liquor laws strike again
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Why would you even start to cheese off a 77-year-old woman with a chain saw who has demonstrated that she is not afraid to use it?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Admit it, you want one
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Arcade group says that ticket and claw games will no longer be "rigged". You can totally trust them this time. Pinky swear
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"Why were you throwing bricks at cars?" "The Lord told me to throw bricks at white men"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this friendly visitor
source: scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Yelling questions at Tom Price (HHS Secretary) - You bet that's an arresting development
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Frat bros who let their brother die after falling down the stairs are asked what they did before the fall. "Uh. I'd rather confess to the murder"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If your spouse's parents' approach to raising your child seems outdated and antiquated, you should get over yourself and just be glad they're helping out
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Need a cannon to reinforce your home defense systems? Have we got the estate sale for you. Bonus: We got some Cyndi Lauper stuff too
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
RIP porn magnate Richard Basciano, who helped make Times Square the fun place it was, before Giuliani and Disney ruined it
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Wait... I get to smuggle puppies AND I get a speedboat? Why was this never presented as a career option in high school?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Good advice for Mother's Day: Try not to give Mom stolen merchandise
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
1 in 10 couples have split up over: A) Money, B) Sex, or C) Trump
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Present-day Goldilocks found sleeping in a bed after breaking into house. No word if she ate porridge and was found by three bears. Also, alcohol was involved
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Okay, which one of you Farkers is writing headlines for the Wanganui Chronicle?
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Oopsies. Looks like U.S. Navy cruiser USS Lake Champlain needs a new captain
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 09, 2017
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
They had me at machine gun robot
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Primitive humans also had funerary customs, burying their dead with purpose and intent, fear of a zombie uprising
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Run of altercations included none-too-sweet attack with gummy bears
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWL)
 
 
 
Teenagers can still take their clothes off for money on Bourbon Street
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Häagen-Dazs giving away free cones to generate Häagen-Buzz
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Sam the lost 17ft python has found his way home, presumably with fewer dog and cat companions than his incredible journey started with
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
In an attempt to reclaim his title as oldest person to climb Everest, Nepalese mountaineer claims the new title of oldest person to die at Everest base camp
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
A drone crashing into a bike race is every cyclist's nightmare
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zillow)
 
 
 
HOUSE FOR SALE: 2,656 sq ft, 4Br 3Ba, as-is/no warranty. Upstairs apt can't be shown under any circumstances. Occupant has never paid rent and no sec. deposit is being held but there is a lease in place. *Great diamond in the rough investment.* $130K
source: zillow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
ISIS claiming it beheaded a Russian officer in Syria, a move which will in no way escalate anything, anywhere
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
CEO of Australian carrier Qantas takes a pie to the face. Looked like, I say, looked like he was in one of them Boo Cocky contests. Look at me when I'm talkin' at you
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Friendly deer follow turkey hunters around, lick shotgun barrel
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Handheld screen use by toddlers now linked to speech delays. Parents should become concerned when their child's first words are "Super Mario Brothers"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester Institute of Tech)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pantry ponderer
source: rit.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOCO Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Teen jumps into Zebra enclosure on a dare. Testosterone. It's a helluva drug
source: koco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Because this makes as much sense as anything else in the queue today. Post whatever makes you *dog head tilt*
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Jakarta governor found guilty of blasphemy, an Elvis-like fashion sense
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Gun rights blogger becomes gun control statistic
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Plastic surgeons say that women are asking to look like Ivanka Trump. No requests yet for the Donald Trump look as it's just too hard to surgically attach a wolverine to someone's head
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
'Silver Man' arrested in Kentucky, in what is probably going to be an archrival of Florida Man somewhere down the road
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
No more Le Pen niece for you
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
We're in trouble / POTUS is crazy / We need a distraction / so Comey, maybe?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Canada: Angry beaver stops traffic; police on scene
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
After long weekend batting scores of rabid dingoes, koalas, and stingrays, Austrian judge returns to appeals court, rules that Facebook must delete all troll posts and hate speech across worldwide platform
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Chubby Guy)
 
 
 
On this day in 1962, a pulse light laser beam sent by a team of scientists from MIT successfully bounced off the moon, freaking out cats across the globe
source: famousdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Want to live over the age of 70? Don't live in 3 counties in South Dakota and one in North Dakota. Also, you can live the longest in Colorado, presumably on Maui Wowie and Cheetos
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Next on 'Real Parole Violations Of New Jersey Housewives'
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: do not approach or taunt Florida Fruitland monkeys
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
In the never-ending struggle between man and train, train wins again
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
"Rape Table" was part of training for Customs officers at Newark Airport. No word on if they had a "rape tower" also
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
We may have hit peak Florida with this one
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Teen: "Hey Wendy's - How many retweets for a year's worth of nuggets?" Wendy's: 18 million Teen: "Challenge accepted" Wendy's smirks as the previous record was 3.4m, then does an 'oh, sh*t'
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this yummy subway ride
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Crazy kinky tourists slither to Canada for world's largest snake orgy
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
It's the damnedest thing: You settle one or two sexual harassment suits for eight-figures and suddenly every one ELSE you've discriminated against for decades starts popping up
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Meet the last living Nuremberg prosecutor, A Jewish kid from Brooklyn who enlisted as a private fresh out of law school, stormed the beaches of Normandy on D-Day, and ended up bringing 22 SS commanders responsible for 1 million deaths to justice
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
When traveling the remote regions of our planet, you may find yourself at Canada's new arctic air hub where the runways are gravel and they only have one set of steps able to reach plane doors. Oh, and the baggage handlers are polar bears
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The rabbit died and now United needs to pay which I believe was the plot of Shirley Temple's first movie after she reached puberty
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Cockfosters
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
In update to their customer service policies, United now willing to cancel your ticket if you record their employees during public dispute
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Why is May 9th so important to Russians? Because they understand the value of punching Nazis and must commemorate it every year. Also they love to show off their mil-penis
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Slowing down and doing less is the way to achieve greatness. Which explains why so many people are familiar with the name of Tim Tebow
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
At that price buy yourself 3 whole lobsters, cook 'em yourself and get at least TWO lobster rolls outta them
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Airport heckler comes after Kellyanne Conway. Her response, "Here, someone hold my earrings"
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
NewsFlash
 
Tunnel collapses at plutonium uranium extraction plant in Washington. Libyan Terrorists report they'll still be able to make their delivery to Hill Valley research lab
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
There's 'having a few on a flight to calm your nerves' drinking, and then there's 'swearing at everyone, threatening to open a door mid-flight and almost getting the plane diverted' drinking. Guess which one this is
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Malaysian Digest)
 
 
 
Due to metal detectors to prevent cheating, students in India taking undergrad entrance exams must do so without wearing bras
source: malaysiandigest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
FCC claims their servers crashing as a result of John Oliver's net neutrality segment on "Last Week Tonight" was a denial of service attack
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Experts declare the metrosexual DEAD, proclaim this the era of the "spornosexual" man who is competing with the "lumbersexual" man for your rapt attention. Somehow Brexit is mixed up in all this
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
The sad saga of the Topeka CRV Lady, perhaps the world's worst driver; She's so bad, there's a Facebook page dedicated to warning people where she is on the road
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Palliative care doctor claims we need a rethink on how we view the end of life, as death and dying remains a big taboo. He's right, once you die, you don't get invited to the good parties anymore
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bumble Bee agrees to plead guilty in tuna price fixing scheme. Which is strange because everyone knows sardine oil is the best for robots
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Man tries to buy 1955 Chevy with bitcoins. "Never heard it before or anything, but we went on the computer and looked at it and it says it's in Wal-mart, so I figured it had to be legit"
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
If this is going to be that kind of party I'm going to throw this cranky lady into the pool
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ricochet)
 
 
 
Obama to continue architectural tradition of butt-ugly presidential libraries. His will look like a legless AT-AT
source: ricochet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Peak loneliness for men is at age 35. For many, it's that insecure time right between marriage number two and three
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Higher Ed)
 
 
 
It took New Jersey politicians 6 years to figure out what to do about Snooki getting paid to speak on campus: a new law that will change nothing
source: insidehighered.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
How do you write a headline about getting an eel surgically removed from your bunghole? Anyone?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Airport brawl erupts after people realize they can't leave Florida
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seeker)
 
 
 
Physicians unveil the world's first colonoscopy robot, showing that great medical advances sometimes really are just pulled out of someone's butt
source: seeker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Can't improve this one: "Cow sex suspect hunted by police helicopter"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Digital highway sign a little too honest for some people
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Eh, you know if it weren't for that American revolution thingy we could have been Canada
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiked)
 
 
 
Nietzsche is blamed for WWI and Nazism, and maligned as the godfather of postmodern relativism, but a case could also be made that he was a champion of the Enlightenment
source: spiked-online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Flying over the Atlantic? Better bring a good book, because the carry-on electronics ban might be about to expand to cover ALL flights to the U.S.
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Things you should NEVER say to a pregnant lady. Basically pretty much anything if you want to live
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The listing calls it a charming brick bungalow on a quiet street close to schools, parks AND FULL OF CLOWNS - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Anonymous warns world to 'prepare' for World War 3, as if the world hasn't been doing that since January 20th
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Alaska's octo-mom cranks out another one
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
University of Florida football Coach Jim McElwain denies he's the naked guy seen in a photo humping a shark. Which sounds like something a naked guy humping a shark would say
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this forgotten future magnetic levitation train
source: cdn3.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Due to anti-vaccination fervor, chickenpox is back in Southern California. Hopefully no-one will die but so what if they do. As long as we got our anti-science way, that's all that counts
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Someone left a pineapple at an art show and it got mistaken for art. "It's the funniest thing that has happened all year"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 57 South Bend)
 
 
 
Family's only car, a '04 KIA with 200,000 miles is stolen, involved in police chase before thief gets stuck on railroad tracks. Fark: thieves with badges demand $300.00 in towing, impound fees from them; "We're totally blindsided"
source: abc57.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
I see your Hillary Clinton, Pennsylvania DUI suspect, and raise you Darth Vader, Memphis Surgical Tech: "Once I got through high school and the girls were digging it, I thought, 'I can use this to my advantage'"
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Irish beach returns after disappearing for 30 years, which means that soon we'll be threatened with the pale white horror of Irish people at the beach
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Rachel Canning, the spoiled little brat who tried to sue her own parents for child support, has come back under fire for her racially insensitive Cinco de Mayo post
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
♫ Five, five block, five block furlong ♫
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 08, 2017
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Seattle Police officer arrested in drug sting. To be fair, they can't plant them if they don't get them from somewhere
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Man steals knife from store, threatens loss prevention staff by waving it at them and then dies after stabbing himself with it. Huh, yeah, seems legit to me
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Is your meth contaminated with deadly gluten? This police department will check it for free
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man attempts new DIY sex reassignment procedure on himself. Man, that hadda hurt
source: wtol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Researchers from the Florida Institute for Technology develop device to search for alien worlds, possibly in hopes of finding another Florida out there in the stars
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
US creates elite spy unit to infiltrate Best Korea and gather intelligence on Kim Jong-un (Not safe for work content in sidebar)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
But really, who hasn't jumped into the Giraffe Pen for a better view after a few beers?
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Northern Michigan University to debut body farm, hopes for a killer crop in the fall
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Holster your rooster and read this
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Not news: Cops find driver crying because he doesn't want to go to jail. Fark: Driver is 8 years old and sitting in drunk Mom's lap
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Animals dressed as humans in movie scenes
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Man walks up the pulpit during church services, pulls his pants down and shows his quarter inch killer to parishioners because "The Lord told me to do it." Amen
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Jacob Dekema, the man who is to blame for 6 lanes of bumper-to-bumper traffic in California, has died at a weirdly appropriate age
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
From the office of Dear God Why, I bring you a James Patterson / Bill Clinton collaboration
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight at 8PM EDT, Paul's Memory Bank continues with Part 2 of songs beginning with "L", it's like the swing through the alphabet got slowed down a bit
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Ryanair staff practices collective punishment on entire flight when passenger fails to comply with instructions
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Old chef yells at 'cloud eggs'
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you left a black suitcase stuffed with eight bricks of heroin in a yellow cab last week, New York police would like to have a word with you
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
Have you ever rented arm candy to attend social events as your fake spouse because your real spouse was too awkward or ugly to be seen with? "It was an act of deception, but in my line of work, image and status are important - it's everything"
source: asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
You could be sitting on a goldmine in your own home. You just have to scrape it off your stove
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Headline claims "Sinkholes now appearing in the wrong places". But have they ever appeared in any right places?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Tiny house village opened for homeless people, allowing them to finally experience the joys of being mocked for being millennials
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photobucket)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cat, winner gets a TotalFark sponsorship (details in thread)
source: i58.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
You know things are bad when Paris isn't the most embarrassing member of the clan
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Man breaks into house, steals gun, electronics, jewelry, grandpa's ashes. With mugshot of grandpa ash thief
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Let's flip & sell Ted Bundy's house, what's the worst that can happen?
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
You know when they say 'he died doing what he loved'? Well that probably doesn't apply to this guy, unless what he loved was falling out of the windows of castles
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"Sleeping with my wife's corpse was a great way to grieve"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Welcome to the post office, how can I help you?" "Yeh, ummmm, I want some stamps and envelopes and also to verify my age so I can watch porn"
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Strip club classifies dancers as therapists to avoid paying state taxes. Court disagrees. Payment to be made in singles
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Twins do everything together, even get arrested on their birthday
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
In the 1960s, it was "If we've lost Walter Cronkite, we've lost America." In the Twenty-teens, it's "piss off John Oliver and your website is toast." The FCC's servers melt down after John Oliver urges viewers to comment to save net neutrality
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Böögg, the giant snowman predicts a hot summer ahead just after the Swiss population burn him at the stake and his head explodes
source: thelocal.ch   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Running short of excuses for delays, rail operator tries the old llamas on the line ploy
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
If you bought some gold bars from a couple of teenagers in Oregon, I have some bad news for you
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newcastle Evening Chronicle)
 
 
 
Three years and five months after the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, it was over
source: chroniclelive.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Idiot with baseball bat goes to confront driver about his driving. The driver, an MMA fighter, gives him a quick lesson on why that was a really bad idea
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNCN Raleigh)
 
 
 
FYI Hell doesn't have access to the rainbow bridge
source: wncn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Sausage recalled at BJ's
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Bad: Heading into the next UN climate summit to figure out the rules for implementing the climate-rescue Paris Agreement, the numbers look pretty bad for planet Earth. Worse: Trump wants to rewrite the math
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Police incident cleared in Harrisburg after 4 hours and the involvement of SWAT, but nothing to see move along
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Well, it's just after eight o'clock, and time for the penguin on top of your Falkland Islands to explode. I said, it's time to explode. Aren't you going to explode?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
The Anchorage Police Department does not approve of a bill that would make it illegal for officers to have sexual contact with any prostitutes they're investigating
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
RIP, Pepe the Frog. Donations in lieu of flowers to the Anti-Fascist Network, the LGBT foundation, or the Human Rights Campaign please
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The first national satanic monument is in...Minnesota?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Horrific abuse and a coverup shows a Penn State fraternity learned all the wrong lessons from JoePa
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flathead Beacon)
 
 
 
4:14 p.m: A Columbia Falls man reported that his neighbor's dog is a jerk
source: flatheadbeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
And the award for the most tasteless Cinco De Mayo party 2017 goes to Hennessey's Tavern in Orange County for setting up an inflatable border wall and handing out "free drink" green cards
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Tents do not work as personal flotation devices
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
A record-breaking 29 babies were born on the same day at Nebraska's Methodist Women's Hospital
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Eagle Tribune)
 
 
 
Protip: If you call the police about illegally parked cars in front of your business, try not to be the one who drilled holes in more than 20 of their tires
source: eagletribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Daily)
 
 
 
The explanation for why there is a worm at the bottom of tequila
source: medicaldaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
HOLY ANCIENT CURSES, BATMAN: 7,000 bodies from a 19th century asylum discovered buried under Ole Miss campus
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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