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Sun May 07, 2017
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Man dies after being ejected from his own car which then ran over him. The Darwin list squad has been alerted. New on ABC
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Over 50,000 Germans remain displaced after British bombing missions. In fact, this is a repeat from 1944 ... only with less "big splosions here" action (we hope)
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Teacher suspended for making a Trump piñata. Which raises the question, what do you fill a Trump piñata with?
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(InStyle)
 
 
 
"Well, that's every shoe in the place. Unless, of course, you'd like to try the cruel shoes"
source: instyle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
What is more shocking: A teacher dragging a pre-schooler through the hallway, or that she was fired almost immediately? Tag for the teacher, because Fark won't let us submit two tags at once
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Woman asks airline to refund her $15 bag charge after they lose her luggage. Airline refuses. Yep, that's a lawsuit ... and a federal appeals court just said it was okay to go to trial
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Elderly deaf man fined £85 for constantly playing porn too loud. I SAID, ELDERLY DEAF...oh nevermind
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
English millionaire builds 10,000 sq ft. mini casino complete with bowling ally and squash courts. Neighbor puts up fence to hide the magnificence. Most British argument ensues. The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Seriously, haven't we all learned by now to NEVER GO SWIMMING in a Florida lake?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Retirement community prevails upon politicians to A) maintain Medicare benefits, B) step up Alzheimer's Research, or C) keep the Winn-Dixie across the street open. "Can you imagine if I had to walk to Walmart to get groceries? I'd pass out on the sidewalk"
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
North Korea arrests another American for "hostile acts." Why...why would any American still be there? Oh, because Jesus
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
In 1971, Buddy Rich warned us about country music. WE DIDN'T LISTEN
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Illegally trafficked cigarettes now have a higher profit margin than cocaine, heroin, marijuana or guns"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Next time you're shipping a million-dollar antique via express delivery, maybe splurge on a little more bubble wrap
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
NewsFlash
 
Liberté, Equalité, Évitez la Stupidité
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Soda Guy)
 
 
 
Snack Food Sunday straps on its armor, girds its loins, and prepares to head into the trenches: it's time to re-start the Soda Wars. Which is best? Which is worst? And why do some people still call it "pop"?
source: eatthis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Hmmm, for some reason people in blue states and people who voted for Hillary Clinton don't want to vacation on the beaches of the Deep South
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate when you clean out a closet and find an unexploded WWII bomb?
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Vermont may be the next state to legalize recreational THC, make some cows really happy
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The most bizarre clam eruption you'll see all day. This is not a euphemism
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
It might seem like a good idea, but there's one thing you should definitely NOT do when you're packing luggage to head overseas
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
This bird's too sexy for its wing, too sexy for its wing, but listen to it sing, And it's too sexy for its bones, to sexy for its bones, but check out those tones, And it's too sexy for this song
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these soccer headers
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Some assembly required
source: thereflector.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Methinks they doth protest too much
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Nun arrested for abusing deaf children? Didn't see that one coming
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Airport security adopts new ceiling spy technology
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
NEVER try and lasso a shark. Caution, graphic photos
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of eclectic music hosted live by a farker (9PM AKDT/10PM PDT)
source: beta.tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 06, 2017
(USA Today)
 
 
 
USA Today has asked the FBI to check out wave of fake Facebook accounts because they got a surge of likes on their page and that was very suspicious because nobody really likes USA Today
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Amazon comes up with novel idea. Let's take a building and fill it with books and let people come in and find one they like and pay for it
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and his music
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Don't say anything bad about God in Ireland or the cops will put down their drinks and arrest you. Also, don't have blasphemy laws if you don't like Irish drunk jokes
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Texas senate votes to drop the state's mandatory vehicle safety inspection. All noble Texans should immediately head to a scrapyard, buy whatever clapped out piece of crap their heart has been yearning for all these years, and enjoy the open road
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCCI Des Moines)
 
 
 
Remember, bridge signage is generally there for a very good reason
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
NCIS apparently doesn't hire Farkers as the team investigating the Marine nude photo-sharing scandal complain about looking at picture of naked people all day
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
From the "We hate to say you've been doing it all wrong but...you've probably been doing it all wrong" file comes the brushing and flossing edition
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this idyllic beach scene
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
If you have lost your pet zebra, Hillsborough County Sheriff Department knows where it is and want you to call them
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Oh the Huge Manatee turns 80
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
So, I bought a pound of pork belly to experiment with. Any suggestions on how I should cook it? (It was $5 a pound, so I can easily just get more if multiple ideas strike my fancy)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Newly approved drug costs $145,524 per year and slows progression of Lou Gehrig's disease by one third. Would you sell your house to live another year?
source: in.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Beijing engulfed by sandstorm originating in Mongolia. Visibility was so poor that people could barely even see the smog
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Some people can't bear criticism
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Outside Online)
 
 
 
Old and busted: stealing copper from houses for scrap. New and unusual: stealing entire sunken warships for scrap
source: outsideonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
A new bike, striking out in little league, kissing the neighbor girl and being shot by Dad with the BB gun - all rites of passage for young boys in Maine
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Man sets fire to smoke possums out of his house. This is Fark so you know what happened
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Fark's rule of thumb stands, if the headline is a question, the answer is always "No"
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Man has 99 problems after police find 99 rabbits in his home
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
All aboard the gin express. TOOT TOOT
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
When you're a utility worker in Phoenix, you expect to encounter scorpions, rattlesnakes, and javelinas. Not baby otters
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
You're under arrest. You do not have the right to an attorney. Only suspects get attorneys, and you're being arrested for being a witness to the crime, so you're going to go to the same jail as the guy who tried to kill you. HE GETS IT, HE'S BLACK
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Outdoor Life)
 
 
 
The zombie apocalypse is upon us. You have space for one book in your pack as you race to hide in the wilderness from the braindead hordes. Which one do you take with you? It's the Saturday Morning Book Club, Survival Edition
source: outdoorlife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hard hitting investigative journalism from the Daily Mail: Would a man notice if his date swapped places with her identical twin
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
Weeners
 
Oh God. Please, no
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
We get it, you're 'socially awkward'
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Principle caught punchof. "Man to man, bro. I don't care if you're f-- 14 years old or not, I will punch you in your face and, when we go down to court, it's your word versus mine, and mine wins every time"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Eye Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this alternative point of view
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Ramen burgers, cronuts, and now this
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Animal Rescue Site)
 
 
 
Believing every life is precious, man rips his house apart to rescue a trapped kitten and reunite it with its mother, just in time for Caturday (w/video)
source: blog.theanimalrescuesite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
A NJ Vet examining a litter of abandoned kittens discovers that one of them is an extremely rare male tortie. Now named Burrito, he is hoping that someone adopts him and then makes a run for the border and gets him out of NJ in time for Caturday
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Sebastian Gorka leaves angry note for his McDonald's server
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Thank you for playing 5 Card Cash with the Connecticut Lottery. The numbers you are about to draw are losers. Would you like to continue with the purchase?
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 05, 2017
(The Root)
 
 
 
Best high school yearbook quote ever
source: thegrapevine.theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Baaamber alert canceled. Goat recovered
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
The Satanic Temple, doing God's work
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay / I kill rogue leaders for the CIA
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Arabiya)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia takes a quiet baby step towards equality
source: english.alarabiya.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DevonLive)
 
 
 
The sat nav told her to turn left; the railings, concrete steps and fleeing builders disagreed
source: devonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Recall issued for all 2017 model AT-ATs
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Michigan AG to curb meth 'smurfing.' Tweaky Smurf unavailable for comment
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Stupid is as stupid does - but not for much longer
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
NewsFlash
 
If only there were a French phrase to describe that overwhelming sense of familiarity you sometimes get with something that shouldn't be familiar at all
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Greyhound trainer has license revoked after 5 dogs test positive for cocaine. Your dog wants a line and some Clapton on the radio
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In a new twist, a man is suing American Airlines for not forcing him out of his seat
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this distant memory
source: img06.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WVVA Beckley)
 
 
 
Cargo plane crashes; 2 dead, several proms ruined
source: wvva.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Arkansas teenager takes date to prom. Her father goes on an unhinged racist rant, disowning her and calling her a "F*CKING WHORE" because said date is black
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I'm a shaaaaaaark
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
When man eats deer, it's not news. When deer eats man, it's time to panic
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Trump's pick for Army Secretary drops out after people find out that he's an insane religious zealot
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Be one with the unibrow. Embrace it
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lex 18)
 
 
 
Radio DJ and Fark podcast co-host goes undercover as a panhandler in Kentucky, earns $40/hr. English and anthropology degree-holders seen scrambling to construct cardboard signs
source: lex18.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Indian police claim rats drank 900,000 liters of confiscated alcohol
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
In other news, the last survivor of the Hindenburg lives in Parachute, Colorado
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Woman arrested after fight with boyfriend, all she kept saying was 'I love lamp"
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Atlanta gangsters guilty of shooting mime, not using a silencer
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Rome opens new subway station with a trove of archeological treasures that were found during its construction. NYC starts looking for Peter Stuyvesant's peg leg and the $24 of traded goods that was used to buy the place
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this empty, boring bar as only Farkers can Photoshop it
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Your 11-month-old baby will not help you in a parking lot brawl
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Escaped prisoner drank from puddles, ate trash, hid in a pipe, and never got farther than two miles. Will be returned to finish his psychiatric evaluation
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Satellite images show Kim Jong-un has started construction on his island supervillain lair. No word yet if he's going with volcano, giant skull, or giant skull shaped volcano
source: foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Detainee)
 
 
 
Tennessee shuts down Scientology psychiatric centers after determining they were keeping people against their will. Scientology trifecta now in play
source: cannoncourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
You'd think a 37-year-old lawyer who lives with her mom and dad would know better than to get caught on camera throwing eggs at cars legally parked in front of their home
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Sure, dating an 18-year-old half your age can be a hot thing, but you can't have deep, meaningful conversations about things like not setting your house on fire
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Elon Musk asks the internet to name a boring machine - Farkers, you know what to do
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Not sure if this is good or bad, but an army of uniformed Scientologists has just gone missing
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Outside-the-box thinkers at conservative group have finally come up with the solution to all of the Washington D.C. Metro's woes: Privatize and let it be ruled by the free market. The greatest minds of our generation, folks
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Russian media says Manchester is "full of fat women that turn men gay." No wonder Crowley was so particularly proud of Manchester
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sneaky snake
source: images1.laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
7.5 million state residents exposed to unsafe drinking water. Top that, Flint, Michigan
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Governor of Maine wants to open more clinics to help people who repeatedly overdose on opiates. Just kidding. He wants the overdosee to pay for their dose of Narcon and communities who don't enforce that to pay a $1,000 fine
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
No, you're not weird if you like the smell of old books
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Attitude Magazine (UK))
 
 
 
In Chechnya, authorities are summoning parents to prison to take responsibility for their children's crimes
source: attitude.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Vagabond)
 
 
 
Flint threatens to put liens on people who refuse to pay for their poisoned water
source: thelastamericanvagabond.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Will scooping semen out of my vagina prevent pregnancy?" That and other questions await you on the Daily Fail
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
President Trump won't spend the weekend away from the White House in Florida. He'll spend it away from the White House in New Jersey instead
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
When the aliens come -- and they will -- they will probably come in peace and not eat us tasty humans
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'If you wouldn't touch a stranger, why would you touch a child?'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Lions, and tigers, and bears ... all die
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
She kissed a girl and she loved it. Then she kissed a bunch more (Not safe for work)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
What are the plans for when Prince Philip really does get tossed on the cart?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Deputy fired for waving about his guns and quoting Denzel Washington's character in the film "Training Day"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
When you find out your city has wooden water mains, maybe it's time to consider an infrastructure bill
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada helpfully identifies to ISIS which Canadian citizens it should kill
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courthouse News Service)
 
 
 
She's accused of extramarital affairs, unprotected sex with several partners, hiring female prostitutes for threesomes and her own selfish pursuits, and smoking the weed confiscated from a kid by her bailiff. And they shall call her Your Honor
source: courthousenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 04, 2017
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
That's not crack, it's heroin
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Toddler gets that ol' craving for Krystal's -- at 3 a.m. Hilarity ensues
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The Penn is smellier
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
If you're smuggling so much booze into a 'dry' military base that planes are tipping over, you're either doing something very wrong or very right
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Florida man Florida man washes his hands whenever he can
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Just imagine having to spend two years in prison because you lied about being the brains behind Kung-Fu Panda
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Refinery29)
 
 
 
"Congratulations--it's a boy." "Hi Mom. Here's your IUD"
source: refinery29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Man arrested for driving with shirt reading 'This Guy Needs a Beer' and a .316 BAC
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Doctors in India get a little head
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Poor proofreading on Capitol Hill allows Jeff Sessions to crack down on medical marijuana in two states
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Japanese shocked to discover that having several generations form romantic relationships with anthropomorphic pillows, life-like dolls, and multi-tentacled animatronic succubi has had an adverse impact on population growth
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Pharma bro Martin Shkreli gets permanently banned from Twitter
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hamilton Journal-News)
 
 
 
FBI: We're shocked one country would try to influence another country's election. CIA: No comment
source: jamiedupree.blog.journal-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Havana hottie
source: yourshot.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
Anyone have a spare $56 million? You can buy Sting's Central Park West duplex. In other news, the AC on your 440-sq ft 1-bedroom basement apartment that you pay WAY too much for just went out...again
source: ny.curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Cancel that Amber Alert and whip up some murder charges against the little accomplice"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Climate change may wipe out all monuments to the confederacy
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Network)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Cheese is popular for many but what are some fun ways you use it? Special selections for your mac or the perfect complement for mushrooms? Share your favorite uses.. especially if they break from the ordinary
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Judge acquits woman who tried to water down bacon
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
You ever laugh so hard at a TV show you choked and knocked yourself unconscious? This Australian MP has
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ghostly presence
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
This Finals week, students at Montana State University can get themselves a piece of ass
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Of all the places you don't want to hide an error, a nuclear plant has got to be at the top of the list
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Man charged with assault for attacking neighbor with bowling pin, wearing ridiculous-looking shoes
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Obamacare flatlines
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Man enters home, discharges fire extinquisher, prays with resident. Wait, what?
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Customs: Anything to declare? Man: Those aren't my sealed buckets full of snakes
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Guess what happens if you take a drug called "Gray Death"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Minneapolis Park Board votes to change name of lake named after noted slaver John Calhoun to the original Dakota name of Bde Maka Ska, which translates loosely as "Whitey Lake"
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
North Korea now threatens the "final doom of the U.S." To which most people said we already had that last November
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Gunman shoots and kills sports bar employee, then gets killed by a customer because Texas
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Fake news in 'Star Wars' is probably their number one problem". Jar Jar Binks nods in approval
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
US Special Operations Command is on the lookout for performance enhancing drugs for dogs, raising the possibility of tactical milk-bones
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Delta sees all the free publicity that United is getting and says, "Yeah I wanna piece of that"
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Polygon)
 
 
 
DC Comics is bringing The Watchmen to its universe, but unless you live in the USA, you won't be seeing any bloody smiles thanks to a trademark troll
source: polygon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman swallows $7,000 in cash to hide it from her husband, suffers penalty for early withdrawal
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
School on lockdown as police investigate Darth Vader threatening younglings again
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Parents Of The Year give daughter a vodak party for turning 13. She Absolutly blew a .32
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
What part of "Don't go near the komodo dragons" don't you understand?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Alanis Morissette is broke but happy after manager who had one hand in her pocket sentenced to 6 years in prison for theft
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSN Wichita)
 
 
 
Group of bounty hunters who surrounded a car in a Walmart parking lot and shot up the vehicle, killing the innocent man, have been charged with murder. IG-88, Bossk, Zuckuss, 4-Lom, and Dengar insist they were set up by Boba Fett and claim innocence
source: ksn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
It's the time of year when middle school students do stupid things in yearbook photos to piss people off
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Running with scissors
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Prince Philip is not on the cart after all; he's fine and thinks he'll go for a walk
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Students try to crawl through an air duct to steal a final exam from a teacher. Police say the suspects were a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Live boy
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
US Department of Justice says it was OK for police to continue shooting Alton Sterling because he was still moving
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Ground beef
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Okay, so the terrorism angle didn't work. What else do we have to compel people to give up their passwords and erode the Fifth? An Instagram celeb, nudes, and a text reading "can have them back as I said you dope chick"? Fine, let's go with that
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Alcoholic British Baby Boomers Overrunning NHS" is the name of my Godsmack tribute band
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Scientists now say it's okay to masturbate at work
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAKE Wichita)
 
 
 
Terminally-ill cancer patient jailed for LEGAL cancer drug in her system, will miss chemotherapy. Kansas: The Heart(less) Land of America
source: kake.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Guy married to his own mother-in-law
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Bad: dying in a workplace accident. Worse: photodocumenting your accidental death at work
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
NewsFlash
 
Queen says get your buckingass to the palace
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 626: "Gardens 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 03, 2017
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Dumb: Faking an injury to get a big payout from workers' compensation. Really dumb: Doing it in view of a security camera
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: "Father drinks daughter's breast milk to help beat bowel cancer"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Honolulu Star Advertiser)
 
 
 
On this episode of Wicked Tuna Jimmy needs a new liver after contracting Hep A
source: staradvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Man in just boxer shorts crashes into police cruiser, gets out and dances in street. Ta Da
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Today in "only works in the movies" news, police officer arrested after planning to fake his own death and flee to Mexico
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Science Institute)
 
 
 
Still have some leftover Peeps from Easter? Behold the beauty that is Peepcorn
source: foodscienceinstitute.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Lawmakers outraged after being tricked into honoring KKK member. In all fairness, though, they were Tennessee lawmakers, so the "trickery" may have involved using two-syllable words and hiding the crayons
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Siberian Times)
 
 
 
Ancient 'hamster' that outlived the dinosaurs found in Siberia. Wow, I didn't know they lived that long
source: siberiantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
U.S. airlines collected $4.2 billion in baggage fees last year, which comes to about 2.67 billion dead giant rabbits if you're United
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ficus leaf
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Russia vs. China vs. USA - who you got?
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ballistic missile test-fired by military of despotic regime
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Online)
 
 
 
"Whenever I break into a neighbor's home, my tastes are simple: a slug of moonshine, a cheese sandwich, and a pickle"
source: heraldonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
If you're a teacher using heroin at school, don't leave your Facebook page open. Also, WTF is wrong with this reporter's forehead???
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
If you recently moved from Florida to Alaska hoping to avoid giant baby-eating snakes, we have some bad news for you
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Just a dash cam capturing a plane crashing on the highway
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
No, you can't use your cell phone as your scooter's headlight because there's no app for that
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Mother forced from home after Brazilian spiders burst out of a banana. That's a lot of spiders
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone. That collapsed I-85 bridge in Atlanta should be completely rebuilt by the holiday. If we're lucky, that be Labor Day
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Auto accelerates unexpectedly through auction - killing 3 and injuring many. Difficulty : Not an early 2000's Camry
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Please submit your account information in the link to the right to learn how to avoid this dangerous phishing attack
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
My hovercraft is full of chicken
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Woman gives birth to 13-pound baby in natural delivery. Doctors await to see who will walk first
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Bottles of gin recalled for containing the correct amount of alcohol
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Not news: Amusement park opens new claw machine. Fark: With live kittens as prizes
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Suspects arrested in Knox Box burglaries. Apparently, the Knox Box needs locks
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this contemplative young man
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." -Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing. Well, I've got part of that down, at least. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
That'll do, pup. That'll do
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Puerto Rico files bankruptcy equal to four Detroits, will look good on its next statehood application
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Hillary Clinton caught driving drunk in Pennsylvania. I don't know about you guys, but I think we really dodged a bullet in the election
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Here's a great idea: Climb to the top of a mountain considered sacred to indigenous people and take a naked selfie. Who would ever have a problem with that? (blurred nekked pic warning)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
'Crimson Canals in Stanislaus County' sounds like a bad summer romance novel
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Is wearing Hawaiian shirts considered cultural appropriation?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Sometimes you walk into a bar and come out drunk, other times you walk into a bar and come out with $3.5 million
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laconia Daily Sun)
 
 
 
Police caller: "I just killed my wife." Police, later: "No, you didn't. That's not even a real gun"
source: laconiadailysun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Active shooter alert at North Lake College in Irving TX
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Funeral home accused of refusing to cremate gay man. Apparently, like breaking a mirror, that's seven years of bad luck
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Cheeky toddler locks himself in car and loves every minute of it
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
You had one job, funeral home
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Magnet school has long waiting list and admission by lottery... except good athletes can skip the line. So it really does prepare children for college
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Lowering standards to meet new recruit quotas includes all programs, even Navy K-9 Corps
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dad pranks his two teen daughters by sending them into the auto parts store for 'Blinker Fluid ' and a 'Bucket of Steam'. However the real joke is the dad wearing a Detroit Lions cap
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Fake war hero found guilty of lying about winning the Purple Heart in a top-secret jungle mission. He might have gotten away with it had he not gone a bit too far with the embellishment and claimed BA Baracus saved him from the jaws of Predator
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
New Mexico science teacher pleads guilty to cooking crystal meth, pitching reality series to AMC
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Tyson announces switch to antibiotic free chicken, face tattoo staying though
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The real reason North Korea's latest missile blew up was that it was 'headed for Russia'
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Local brewery posts rules after kids cause repeatedly damage property in its Biergarten. Rule #1: Unsupervised children will be aged in wooden bourbon casks
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
America's most hated mom was out and about in Florida, hitting up happy hour
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Honestly, we thought all-inclusive meant we didn't have to pay for anything on the entire island during our stay"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this police standoff
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The coal industry has proven to be a source of high-paying jobs where wages have risen 60% in the past 8 years...in the executive suite. The poor saps giving themselves black lung actually digging the stuff out of the ground? They're getting screwed
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Hamburglar steals iconic Ronald McDonald statue
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
One is the loneliest number for this dog named Eastwood, as he was the only dog left after 2,500 shelter dogs were adopted from his shelter
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
As an EMT, you have a lot of responsibilities on your shoulders. Giving a pregnant teen a pelvic exam is not one of them
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
Video
 
"The look of realization on the cat's face upon realizing that the hamster smells like food seems to send the feline into a moment of existential shock"
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVAL Eugene)
 
 
 
Oregon man submits resume for Benghazi investigation
source: kval.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 02, 2017
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The incoming freshman class of 2021 is the most polarized in history
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Old and busted: hoarding cats. The new hotness: hoarding bees
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Underwear-clad carjacking suspect arrested in Orange City Walmart. Why does Fark allow only one Florida tag?
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
A handicapped parking space dispute in the Miracle Mile Plaza doesn't have to involve a hand gun and a neck beard to appear on Fark, but it helps
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Alaskan lottery relies on a wooden tripod hooked to some antique clocks via a metal cleaver and a barrel of rocks. Rube Goldberg and the Mythbusters approve
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I think this article says that the sun never shines in Butt Falls, but I didn't really read it carefully
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada made marijuana illegal 94 years ago but were too blitzed to remember why
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you are a convicted felon legally barred from owning a firearm, do not brandish one on Facebook Live
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Woman loses lawsuit to reveal identity of male escort she says got her pregnant, which is probably good since she hasn't been named either
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WIBX 950 Utica)
 
 
 
Colgate University in Upstate New York went on lockdown for over 4 hours last night because someone saw an art student enter the student center with a GLUE GUN for a project. Authorities believe the charges won't stick
source: wibx950.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Trump, 2016: "We're gonna build a wall, and Mexico will pay for it". EU, 2017: "We're going to demand £92 billion, and the UK will pay it"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Pols to Amtrak: Fix NYC's Penn Station ASAP. Amtrak: Ok, we've devised a plan where we can take six weeks to do major work over the summer while commuters are on vacation. Pols: AUGH. The disruptions
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian Defence Minister on visit to India says he was responsible for the winged Afghani human female with living venomous snakes in her hair then changes his story
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cartoon characters
source: gdb.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Florida News-Press)
 
 
 
Ah, spring in Florida: the flowers bloom, the cold slips away and the native drunken Florida Men strip naked and pick up their machetes to destroy mailboxes
source: news-press.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
On the plus side, everyone now knows he really did have a Canadian girlfriend
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
When putting together an Easter basket for your niece or nephew to bring in to school, it's usually best to leave the marijuana out
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Twin sisters give birth on the same day nine months after their probable orgy
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVAL Eugene)
 
 
 
Oregon man attempts to reenact woodchipper scene from Fargo
source: kval.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Kansas City Archdiocese parts ways with group because it reflects 'troubling trends'. I totally see it, not towing the Catholic dogma line, pushing their own agenda. They're a dangerous and radical group of thugs, like drug dealers Fark: Girl Scouts
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Turns out you can't physically and psychologically abuse your children for that sweet, sweet YouTube fame
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
It's flying termite swarm season in New Orleans
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
There are many reasons you never hear the words 'Scottish' and 'surfer' in the same sentence. This is probably one of them
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Woman prays, then stomps out car windshield of man she thought was her boyfriend. With glass stomping video
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Nominee for Secretary of the Army thinks evolution is like a rusting lawn mower
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Actual lines from actual lawsuit: "Chaos ensued. The masseuse panicked and jumped onto the Jet Ski with the captain"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these jaws
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man found nailed to a tree. Jesus, that has got to hurt
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
NYPD drill atop the Brooklyn Bridge sparks concern from onlookers, Gwen Stacy
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Why sloths don't get 'crusty eyes'. Fark.com - All sloth factoids, all the time
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
ISIS terrorist found with James Bond style spy cufflinks sentenced to eight years in prison, or until he breaks out with his laser belt buckle, whichever comes first
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
You may have to drink Jose Cuervo instead of Patron on Cinco de Mayo to offset your guac costs
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.... especially on Fark
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Remains of 20 coyotes found - roadrunner spotted snickering behind nearby shrub
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSPA)
 
 
 
Teacher lets students duct tape him to wall for charity. That Charity must be really persuasive
source: wspa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hamas announces that while they still don't recognize Israel as a state, they don't really want to destroy it anymore. Small steps
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Human bones? Nah, not us mate, we're just badgers. Look, I'm badgering. Not digging up graves. No sirree Bob
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Protests, in Seattle: "Screw you for voting for Trump" "Screw you for voting for . . . hey, man, is that weed?" "Hell, yeah, bro, pass it around." *puff* "What were protesting, again?" *puff* "Dunno. Eh, screw it"
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
D&D Therapy - Roll a wisdom check against that CR15 Bipolar Bear
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Automobile ownership 101: Want to see if your fuel tank is full? Don't use a lighter
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Former Democratic lawmaker, now apparently chairman of the Lemon Party, indicted on sexual battery charges
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Woman steals watches, money from men after sleeping with them. Kidneys intact
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Indian state minister orders 10,000 bats for distribution to newly-wed women to combat domestic violence
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Saudi man sentenced to death for insulting Muhammad on Twitter. Ironically this tactic also gave Donald Trump four years in the White House
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
New research shows that the "organic milk" you're so proud of spending so much money on probably isn't, you know, organic. In other news, "fat free" products don't make you skinny, "diet" sodas are bad for you, and your gluten allergies are bullshiat
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Officer: My shooting of an unarmed black teenager was justified because the car he was in was backing toward me aggressively. Chief: What about this video? Officer: F*ck
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
For some reason, deputy is offended to be referred to as "Captain Boobs" at work
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop these legs
source: orig07.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
The family that Yales together, stays together
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
You'll probably want to avoid those antique shaving brushes unless you want anthrax with your shave
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Mar-a-Lago spares no expense for the guests entertainment, including spectacular fireworks and dead civilians
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
America is safe again after Immigration officials detain Australian for overstaying his visa by 90 minutes
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to see warn-torn Mosul? No? Well how about from the eyes of a drone? What, still no? Come on, it's CNN. They give the people what they want
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
First he stole her heart. Then he stole her gaming consoles
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Some NBA players spend their retirement buying mini giraffes. Ray Allen spends his teaching people about the Holocaust
source: theundefeated.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
"Almost every speed limit is too low," said: A) Dom Toretto, B) Dale Jr., or C) Michigan State Police
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 01, 2017
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Newest problem with the kids these days: Having a fall-back option in case their current relationship doesn't work out. Because no one ever did that in the olden days
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
A history of crossing the US/Mexico border
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
No arrests made at the NFL draft in Philly. I mean, that's great and all, but they haven't even played their first game yet. Give em time
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVOA Tucson)
 
 
 
Woman finds plea from Chinese worker imprisoned in factory hidden in her Walmart purse. In other news, Walmart items may not be American made, but at least they're hand-made by folks worse off than you are
source: kvoa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
New Orleans makes Mardis Gras slightly more interesting
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: A Fark group celebrates a milestone
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop the beautiful beaches of Scotland
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
'Mr Gorilla' crosses London Marathon finishing line in record time of six days...by crawling on his hands and knees
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tucson News Now)
 
 
 
Researchers say that not only is beer not as hard on your liver, it is a more effective pain killer than Tylenol
source: tucsonnewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight at 8PM EDT, Paul's Memory Bank brings you Part 1 of Songs beginning with the letter "L". That's right, unlike last week where I had to hit iTunes to fill the 2 hours, there are so many "L" songs in my collection it will fill 2 shows
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Okay, human. What stupid thing are you going to involve me in now? Do I have to move? No? Fine"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What kind of wedding present do you get for an FBI translator who flees to Syria to marry an ISIS militant? Cruise missiles? (Now with an article and not just video)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
Hey everybody. Guess what time of the year it almost is? That's right....ZIKA SEASON, WOOO-HOOO
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
One flight to Bangkok and the passengers tumble
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
And the next person to leave Fox News because of sexual harassment allegations is co-president Bill Shine. In related news, subby has a "bingo" on his Fox News' sexual predator card
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Every now and then, these things happen," zoo spokesperson Janeway says after coyote escapes, finally fulfilling subby's Road Runner/Star Trek Voyager mashup fantasies
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this doggie trainer
source: gdb.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you've ever wondered what would happen if you accidentally over-inflated a 3 ton tire, today is your lucky day
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Reset the stabbings on college campuses clock
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
6.2-magnitude earthquake in northern BC / Yukon area. Initial reports confusing as everyone there speaks in frontier gibberish
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Hero: man returns found wallet after thirteen years. Fark Hero: it took that long because he forgot about it
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Not news: art imitates life. News: life imitates art. Fark: where "art" = a Jim Carrey movie from 20 years ago
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Teen who jumped into fish tank at Bass Pro Shops could face charges, breading, deep-frying
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
NewsFlash
 
Active shooter in Dallas. One firefighter hit, police and paramedics pinned down
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Only in Australia can your marriage proposal go soooooo wrong by having a venomous snake bite you moments after getting engaged
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
Video captures giant fireball after wrong-way driver slams into tanker truck. Huh, how bad could it-Oh, lawd
source: timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Not content to simply murder the giant bunny, United Airlines cremates it without permission
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-04-23 to Sat 2017-04-29
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
LP1000: Last Post Millennial edition. There will be prizes. LGT LP900
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Caption this happy turtle
source: img00.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
You've talked the hooker down to $30 for sex but can't get her to budge on that extra $5 to make your $25 price point? Try sweetening the pot with an order of McNuggets
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
NNow yyou ttoo ccan hhave wwell-ddressed ttherapy llamas aat yyour wwedding
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Mexican illegal immigrant "I hope we don't die here in the desert". Ukrainian illegal immigrant "Yo, I'm on a boat"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Tired of your child getting 3 hours of homework every night? What to do? Simple, send a note to the teacher saying you're not permitting your child to do any homework at all
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Worst, pool party, evah... unless you are that racist, white dude, that shot up the place
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Congress agrees to remain dysfunctional until September
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dapper gentleman
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Angela Merkel shocks hosts by going topless
source: in.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You only wish your cat missed you this much when you leave
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A pastor who admitted to have 'spread the love' with a teenager to spend between 3 and 6 years in prison
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Today's isolated incident of something other than a black teenager being executed by police is brought to you by the Dallas suburb of Balch Springs. With bonus paid-vacation for the cop
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Why net neutrality still matters, even if the regulator is acting like a dick
source: medium.freecodecamp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Oh sure, but when I do it, they call the cops
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
18,000 Canadians just belted out the US national anthem. Your move, America
source: dailyhive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Good news for all you health-concious alcoholics out there, Guinness is now vegetarian
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Why is the New York Times denying climate change?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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