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Sun April 30, 2017
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Trafficker caught with 12 pounds of cocaine claims she thought the package was headphones. She is white and attractive though so some might believe her
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Dudes ...REALLY? (Not safe for work)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Awl)
 
 
 
If you're really coo-coo for tiny birdhouses, there's a collection of 1,001 of them for $10,000 listed on Craigslist
source: theawl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Not racist at all federal judge lets white Alabama town secede from school district even though "race was the motivating factor" for many supporters of the split
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Good Lord Above)
 
 
 
Best Twitter bot of all time trolls megachurch evangelist pastor and notorious conman Joel Osteen's tweets by replacing all mentions of "God" with "your dick"
source: thegoodlordabove.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Delivery guy crashes, pizza deemed 'shaken yet edible'
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop Dave Grohl and um, whatever these are
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rare.us)
 
 
 
Pricipal caught sayof that "white students should be in the same class"
source: rare.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Odd Fellows Lodge tells teen who won a trip he can't go because he's autistic and they're out of underwear from K-Mart
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A group of Vietnam officers, who call themselves the "Lucky ones," gathers for a "we might not do this again" reunion. If you're looking for the subby she's likely bawling in the corner
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Take a break from screaming at each other on the politics tab and read this story about a labrador, who just gave birth to puppies, adopting two orphaned baby piglets (with awwwww pics)
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fishy situation
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
People want to know the story behind the man with a vacant stare riding the bus with a 30 gallon tub of Cinnabon frosting. Subby wants to know his Fark handle
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
A Kentucky judge refuses to hear arguments of gay parents looking to adopt claiming its not in the best interest of the child
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Can a candy bar really "satisfy"? Are there times when you feel like, and times you don't? Does it matter if you eat the left or right one first? All this and more as Snack Food Sunday is searching for the best candy bar
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It's come to this: Travel agency will plan all the details of your next vacation but won't tell you where you're going until you are about to leave
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Houston is trying to make homelessness a crime
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
"Welcome to the NRA hotline. If you shot someone who was armed, press 1. If you shot someone who was unarmed, press 2. If you shot someone carrying bear arms, press 3. If you shot someone with no arms, press 4"
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Dumbarse investment banker claims demons and his daughter and ex-wife and some other nonsense, all in court. Sorry, you're an investment banker, nobody believes you
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vocativ)
 
 
 
Well, I wonder how much overseas data will have Trump's name on it? Whatever the amount, the NSA is getting rid of the whole lot. Conspiracy anyone?
source: vocativ.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
Six Thai fighters killed in rebel ambush. Too late for Ackbar
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: That time you didn't get a ticket when you deserved one
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely skateboarder
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump gets to decide whether to release the remaining JFK files
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Three candidates competing for District G spot in Pasadena, giving credence to the nickname, Pasa-Get-Down-Dena
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You-know-who carries on tabloid tradition of taking trashy photos of trashed women staggering on public streets, scolding them under headline "a depressingly typical British bank holiday"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Keyless entry fobs for cars are super convenient, particularly for thieves with a receiver and retransmitter
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
Seventh grader sends letter to local newspaper replying to citizen angry about their "Hate Has No Home Here" sign. Fire department tends to the ensuing burn
source: winchester.wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Live from Juneau, Alaska, it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of amazing music on public radio hosted by a farker (9PM AKDT/10PM PDT)
source: beta.tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 29, 2017
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Now we are giving press passes to people who make white supremacist hand signs in White House
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
A 12-year-old girl was forced to quit a chess championship because her dress was "too seductive"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Extra Crispy)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Yes you need to believe in unicorns ...and gravy. It's what makes life mythically delicious on a Sunday morning
source: extracrispy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"He had to move the airbag out of the way to talk (to the toll takers)"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Photoshop this artistic deliciousness
source: images1.laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISTV)
 
 
 
Woman pulls gun on barber for taking too long. Stay classy, Cleveland
source: wistv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Star Trek fan forced to surrender ASIMIL8 license plate for being offensive. Remember, citizens, resistance is futile
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
I'm so goth I travel with my own raven on the subway
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Suburban WASP muses on bus-riding blacks being too black, and whether Martin Luther King Jr. would be ashamed of them
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
When civilizations collide: Irish people try food from New Jersey for the first time. "Do they just put cheese on everything?"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Star (UK))
 
 
 
"My neighbor was happy thinking that Tessa is in good hands, but I don't need a dog"
source: thestar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Turkey blocks Wikipedia; anyone found trying to access it will receive a citation
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Today's traffic report: Good visibility, light winds, high chance of rhino rampage
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australia rolls out the red carpet for Ginger Pride marchers
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Photoshop this amazed man
source: images1.laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
I'm not saying Venus is secretly being used as a base by both aliens and NASA ... but Venus is secretly being used as a base by both aliens and NASA as an intergalactic outpost
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Hawaii wants to ban a certain sunscreen to save sea coral. STAY IN THE HOUSE, CORAL, AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Police use carrots to corral horse loose on city streets, life must be getting tough on the stable corner of the streets these days
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Guess what's not allowed if you rent a "garden apartment" in Quincy, Massachusetts
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
So, what's in the news today? Oh... errrr... well, that sucks... ewwwww... ouch.... ugh... that's just wrong... You know what, screw this. Let's do the Fark Weekly Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
The bad news about arresting zombie chicks is they can do life sentences standing on their heads
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Burglars use Grindr in attempt to get ATM
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
St Louis pondering whether police officers should be allowed to drink and drive. Fark: their police vehicles
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jack Kerouac)
 
 
 
Suffering from a serious case of wanderlust? This week, the Saturday Morning Book Club is ready to hit the road in search of the best travel books of all time
source: nomadicmatt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lady and her ride
source: s4.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Cat called hero after alerting North Carolina family about carbon monoxide, apparently didn't want competition in suffocating family in their sleep
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLP)
 
 
 
Terminally ill man spending last days repairing bikes, donating them to needy kids
source: wwlp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Chance the cat apparently has at least nine lives and maybe as many as sixteen
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Police on the lookout for a pussy shaver
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Sovereign Citizens sue POTUS for a yuuuge amount
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Finally, a gym for Farkers
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
The Arctic is "unraveling," according to those scientists in the disaster movies no one ever takes seriously
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
What Ferguson can learn from the Rodney King riots
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
I know it's hard to believe, but the nine people sitting in the room with you haven't had sex in an airport
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 28, 2017
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
LA City Council candidate admits using Tinder for extramarital hookups, not paying taxes and calling blacks the N-word. But says he's staying in the race and feels good because he's "hydrated"
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
Video
 
A robot journalist has been hired by a news agency in China - and it's already started doing live interviews. Let's hope they don't build a robot capable of churning out pointless clickbait
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
United Airlines boots a woman from a flight because of her cat allergy when she was seated too close to a cat. Fark: They let the cat stay seated
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Do you want to escape poverty? Well, it will take you 20 years of perfect planning and execution, with no unexpected illness, accidents, or other life events, and even then, you'll be in debt up to your eyeballs. Enjoy the American Dream
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: A song title made into a picture
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Red Bull heir better hope he gets some wings
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro US)
 
 
 
Loose llama on the lam lassoed
source: metro.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Steakhouse locked in feud with vegan strip club. It's not Mad Libs, it's Portland
source: broadly.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Best Korea, after carefully weighing the pros and cons of starting World War Three, decides to go ballistic
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Russian beauties are being urged to rack up support for Vladimir Putin by busting out revealing shirts emblazoned with his image. Think of it as his war chest (Possibly not safe for work)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Marijuana edibles in Washington State will now be regulated to ensure they have the same amount of insect feces as normal food
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
North Carolina lawmakers vote to protect drivers who run into protesters, ignoring a colleague's concern they would appear a bunch of 'dumb rednecks'
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this revealing
source: thenypost.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
"Kids are losing their childhoods... You can see the stress on their faces as they get ready. It's like, you know, they're suiting up for battle"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
"Why I hate my uncle" by Bill Hitler (article from Look Magazine,1939)
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWCH Wichita)
 
 
 
Jimmy Johns employee is remarkably calm during armed robbery. Might be because the idiot with the gun has the slide locked open so it can't fire
source: kwch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In an attempt to spy on Russia, the CIA implanted microphones into cats. But that's not what my microwave says happened
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
It was a peaceful, poop free neighborhood. "Then the peacocks moved in"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Knife-wielding man attacks democrats in KY coffee shop after asking their political affiliation
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bozeman Daily Chronicle)
 
 
 
Montana Senate votes to suspend rules of space and time
source: bozemandailychronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Unlike hippies, who play dead to relive their youth, female dragonflies play dead to avoid male attention
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
A florist was arrested for stealing flowers off graves near her shop and selling them again. It's the colorful, aromatic circle of death
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meet Uncle Fatty, the most obese monkey you'll see all year
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Amputee forced to crawl out of store when worker takes away electric cart. Hopefully he can move past this and just keep putting one foot in front of the other
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Federal authorities run nuclear response drills at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey. Which means next week you can look online for autographed game-worn army helmets
source: nation.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Meet the only father-and-son Master Lego Builders in the world. "Yes, they pay me and it's great"
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Looks like it is time to find a new job. What's your best job interview advice? Decent answers to "What is your biggest weakness?"
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Judge gives Alex Jones's children a chance at normalcy
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Mongolian woman milking a yak
source: img.fark.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Dad puts up huge "Danger! Child molester lives in first house on the right." sign despite the fact that it's legal in Arkansas for his 16-year-old daughter to have sex with his 21-year-old neighbor
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
They bring noise. You bring urine and liquid feces. That's the Chicago way
source: cwbchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Parents concerned after more than 100 vultures start hanging out on elementary school grounds. Then again it's Robert E, Lee Elementary, so maybe it's just karma
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The right amount of personal space is about 7 and a quarter feet. Hopefully the coworker reading this uncomfortably close over your shoulder gets the hint
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
If your son's not doing his homework what's the best way to motivate him? A) Positive reinforcement B) Threaten to ground him C) Use a stun gun on him
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Two Maine breweries will no longer allow dogs in their tasting rooms. Shirt and shoes still optional
source: pierce.bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Before calling 911 for a police dog to recover your stolen heroin, check your pockets
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Waffle House Co-founder passes away. His ashes to be scattered....covered, chunked, topped and diced
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Because the only reasonable response to someone knocking up your 12-year-old daughter is to strand her on an island to die
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Herald-Record)
 
 
 
"She WILL kill again," says worst defense attorney ever
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 27, 2017
(Metro)
 
 
 
Don't bogart those weed nails, my friend ...pass your fingers over to me
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Lieutenant serving in the German army lives secret double life as crime fighting hero. Excuse me, did I say crime fighting hero? I meant fake Syrian refugee villain
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
If the government confiscates your drugs, sue them. That's the Texas way
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southern Poverty Law Center)
 
 
 
Meet the new Trump-inspired KKK for the millennial generation
source: splcenter.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Well, let's face it. There just aren't a lot of things to do in Jersey City
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Like Mars, the Faroe Islands need women
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this secret shopper
source: thenypost.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Turns out that cute woman who got stuck on the crane and had to be rescued was one of those Instagram pic taking rooftop climbers (with said pics)
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Coke + Metamucil = WTF are they thinking?
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Sports-section story you'll find in the Tennessean, but not in the New York Times: What to do if you come across a pygmy rattlesnake
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Terror suspect Jihad-blocked when his family drops a dime on him
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass bison calf born on Earth Day is first one born in Banff National Park in 140 years
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man dressed as giant asparagus sparks controversy at church service to mark St George's day. "Why only adoration of asparagus? Where's the sprout liturgy, or equality for mushrooms?"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
News: Dog food recalled due to the presence of a foreign substance. Fark: The foreign substance is phenobarbital, which is used in euthanizing animals
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRGV Rio Grande)
 
 
 
Farmer loses $25,000 worth of grass after rednecks go mudding on his property. No, not weed - actual grass
source: krgv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"The cat was given a verbal warning for posing with what could be mistaken as an assault rifle while wearing poor camouflage attire," police said
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Massachusetts Governor: Hey, what if when teenagers send each other sexual text messages we didn't freak out and charge them with felonies?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Have a kidney stone? There's an app for that
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lengthy lady
source: gdb.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Moms swear that a pizza sold in Charlotte, N.C. called "The Inducer" is guaranteed to induce labor in expectant mothers
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Traffic shut down near the British Parliament after man arrested on suspicion of "terror offenses" including the possession of weaponized cutlery
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
David Dao settles with United, regrets settling for United in the first place
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Wall Street: We just don't understand why millennials won't trust all their money to us, just like their parents did
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Actual Headline: Police warn of possibly drunk, 'very pushy' door-to-door meat salesmen
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Too late liberals. You snooze, you lose. Looks like the conservatives got this celebrity. Can you smell how conservative the ROCK is?
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
Merriam-Webster adds 'sheeple' to dictionary. Guess who they cited as an example. Right
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
What do you do when you see an avalanche coming at you on Mount Everest? You turn on your camera first then find something to clean your soiled pants
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"When an online troll posted a racist and bigoted message on State Rep. Brian Sims' Facebook page, he didn't pull any punches -- he called the troll's grandma"
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
OK time for yearbook photos, grab your sports gear and line up. Woah, not so fast, shooting team
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Squish*
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Caption the Pope receiving a new funny hat
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
It's the 30th anniversary of Spaceballs, so grab your Schwartz and change Mega-Maid from suck to blow
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
What's the best marriage advice you've ever heard?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
People, put down the juice if you know what's good for you. Those of you still drinking the Kool-Aid, carry on
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peterborough Telegraph)
 
 
 
Man imported weapons to protect girlfriend from 'killer clowns' following internet craze
source: peterboroughtoday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
A Russian warship is sinking after being hit by a freighter carrying livestock off Turkey. So at least kids will have an interesting answer to the question "how did World War III start?" in 20 years' time
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Explosion at McDonald's in French town of Grenoble. Authorities unsure if terrorism related, or Monsieur Creosote finished his meal
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Are you happy to see me or are you carrying 23 pounds of cocaine in your pants?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these rescued dogs
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The safest seat on a plane according to crash data, Asian doctors
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Mugwump is a word; your argument is invalid
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Apparently parents in the UK need to teach their children the correct medical terms for their dangly bits and vajayjays
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Alaska: A rugged land where the men are men, the beer is cold, and the women strip naked to fight state troopers
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
While we're waiting on WWIII to begin, you can remain safely in your bunker to take the Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
A jewelry store is selling a 33lb gold-plated Darth Vader mask for only $1.4 million. Pray they do not alter the deal further
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
"What Americans now have to fear is a federal police state bent on increasing its power, flexing its muscles, and never apologizing"
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
IRS raids offices of Benny Hinn Ministries. No word if he tried to escape by flailing his jacket or patting the head of short, bald old man
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Remember that house that blew up last week? It might have been less of a "meth cooking house" and more of an "oil well 170ft from the house." Anadarko closes 3,000 oil wells
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Hey, Pepsi - Take notes!
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 625: "On the Border". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 26, 2017
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Old, Skidoo: Spiking the punch at parties. New, Extreme: Spiking the guest at a party with a fatal punch
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Massachusetts officials propose putting endangered rattlesnakes on uninhabited island. Public resistance stops plan. Massachusetts officials propose putting endangered rattlesnakes on inhabited mainland
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Beaver gets lubed, avoids getting stuffed
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this biker who's missing something
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The status of industrial metal, the fate of the Facebook Live killer, and where cheeseburgers come from. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-04-16 to Sat 2017-04-22
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Man arrested after crashing van, while on fire, en route to a home robbery; otherwise known as just another day in the Sunshine State
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
While it's not unusual to find chicken on a subway sandwich it is a tad unusual to find one or two on the subway
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PCWorld)
 
 
 
Russian man receives the longest-ever prison sentence in the U.S. for hacking. Ironically, the sentence for any American conspiring with Russian hackers is four years in the White House
source: pcworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Sixth grader threatened with suspension after school officials notice he has *GASP* two lines in his haircut. OH NOES
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Experts think Florida should sell its poop rather than dump it on farms
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Lacking outrageous fortune, indigenous people of Brazil offer slings and arrows
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dancer
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Man accused of stealing twenty-six guns to support his heroin addiction. Hey, when you gotta shoot up, you gotta shoot up
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Fake Mother's Day coupon scam targets Lowe's, imperiling everyone who wanted to buy their mother a radial arm saw this year
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Utah: 'Come for vacation, leave on probation.' Not quite as snappy as 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
A married couple with three children are filing for divorce so their shared 21-year-old girlfriend won't feel left out
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Science: dolphin vagina mystery solved. Still no cure for cancer
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
"As you may realize, when a morbidly obese person is cremated, there's a danger of what can only be called (in layman's terms) a 'grease fire'"
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
U.S. Navy destroyer has run-in with Iranian attack boat, raising the number of countries we risk stumbling into war with to ... uh, Christ, I don't have enough fingers
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Thank you for your letter about red light camera program. Please accept this $500 fine for practicing engineering without a license, with our compliments
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Having solved the Kenneth Frequency mystery, Dan Rather is back and is taking aim at Trump
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the back yard and shot it." - Truman Capote. Huh, I guess that's why literary agents always start screaming when they read my novel. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Do you know any bars at least 100 years old where you can still grab a drink today? Here are some in Pennsyltucky that will allow you to quench your thirst in style right where George Washington slept
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
American beer is finally respected in Europe
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Happy Chernobyl Day, keep those glowing faces going
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
High school graduation is a month or so away. What kind of advice do you have for this year's high school graduates?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The rising scourge of highbrow mispronunciation. It's Ahs-wee-pay, not Asswipe
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Here it is, your most recent major study proving that smoking pot will result in your bloody, mangled death on the highway
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
There's a new drug with 100 times the potency of heroin hitting the DC streets: elephant tranquilizer. Like, literally tranquilizer for elephants. You know, maybe we just let this one sort itself out
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely baseball player
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Pope TED
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
North Korea media issues a threat to "wipe out" the United States. Wall Street bankers: We tried that back in 2007 and it's harder than it looks
source: economictimes.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
What do you do when you realize you have too many dildos lying around the house?
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
School administration pulls out the stops for teacher who receives brain tumor diagnosis. No, this is Fark -- you know they fired her before her operation
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Move out of the way baby boomers, there's an even bigger difference between old millennials and young millennials
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Wild boars overrun Islamic State position, kill 3 militants. That'll do pigs, that'll do
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Crime-fighting robot assaulted by drunk man after hard day doing security at mall
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you want to give yourself the best chance of avoiding food poisoning at a restaurant, don't order raw oysters, raw sprouts, Caesar salad or hollandaise sauce made with raw eggs, sushi or ceviche
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Maybe the world isn't ready for Facebook LIVE :(
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
United's epic PR disaster couldn't possibly get any worse, could it? The dead giant rabbit says yes, yes it can
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
In a completely unexpected development NO ONE could have predicted; a new lawsuit claims that in addition to being a sexist pig, Fox News' Roger Ailes was also a racist bigot who engaged in "pervasive racial discrimination"
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Mulligan gets a Mulligan, arrested
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"It's not teaching religion, but it teaches character and respect and how important it is to tell the truth," says Courtney Tolliver, while lying through her teeth
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
A new social media game called the 'Blue Whale Game' involves being given a master that will control you and make you do tasks every day for 50 days. To win the game you must kill yourself. Fark: So far there are 130 winners
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. In this case, it's a 'I caught a python in Florida' tee-shirt
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass endangered wolf pup is the first to be conceived with artificial insemination, gives hope to other endangered species that want to rip out your neck
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 25, 2017
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Not news: That wasn't me who made the bomb threats -- someone must have stolen my WiFi | Fark: Truth
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Rejoice coffee lovers and get wired, new research shows why it's okay to drink more coffee
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Dumb guy tries to french kiss alligator but tapes its mouth shut which kind of defeats the purpose, if you know what I mean
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
There's a time and place to snort cocaine. For Florida Man, that time and place is 'in front of the cops while a wildfire rages'
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Hey, honey, what say we take the boat out for a drag?"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"It ended up taking...six weeks of island hopping and questioning strangers in the street before he found his first intersexual pig." Which wasn't a big deal, until it led to the discovery of dogs with dexterity between that of a cat and a monkey
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Centre Daily Times)
 
 
 
Here I sit in silent bliss... ZOMG, GTFO
source: centredaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Woman shuts down busy airport parking lot because husband wouldn't answer her calls. Turns out, he was on a flight out of the country
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Nordstrom is selling jeans covered in fake dirt for $425
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In Russia, public transportation rides your ass
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowering the Bar)
 
 
 
"'Enraged by Xylophone' would be a pretty good band name"
source: loweringthebar.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big forest ball
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
If you can get past the first sentence of this article without breaking a rib from laughing too hard, there's some shockingly shocking information that will shock you with shocking news about who actually profits from speed cameras
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Woman fired from job for a: Embezzling funds? B: Stealing sensitive data? or C: Not loving Jesus enough?
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
300 pounds of illegal Nepalese yak meat seized at JFK ... relatedly, Nepalese yak meat is apparently illegal
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
1) Create YouTube channel; 2) Abuse your kids as "pranks"; 3) Profit; 4a) Hire PR firm and apologize; 4b) Begin family counseling
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Today is ANZAC day - so here's an American flag for you Kiwis, Aussies, and Poms honouring your heroes today
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
New restrictions added to Florida's medical marijuana law, adding a 90-day waiting period before a sick person can get pot they're not allowed to smoke, vape or eat
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Barbie's got a bun in the oven. Ken demands paternity test. fb- quietly skulks away
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
NewsFlash
 
Here we go again: Federal judge blocks Trump's order denying funding to sanctuary cities
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Student finds earworm in school lunch. Not hears, finds
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these high-flyers
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Fiery freeway pileup in Los Angeles leaves one dead, nearly a dozen injured and causes traffic chaos
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Well, someone's Kentucky Derby celebration is going to be a little short on party favors
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
Police who removed United passenger: Coming right for us, furtive movements, fear for my life, etc
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Central Florida town to fly Confederate flag at half-mast. I guess we need to send the army back down there
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
While it's not technically illegal to have a sex dungeon in your attic across the street from a school, police really don't like to find teenagers in it
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Scientists bring us one step closer to a future where humans are grown in bags
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Why no one respects science: "Being "pro-science" has become a bizarre cultural phenomenon in which liberals engage in public displays of self-reckoned intelligence as a kind of performance art, while demonstrating zero evidence to justify it"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Crime fighting robots may be coming to a mall near you. You have thirty seconds to put down that Cinnabon
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
Wife's Fitbit logs steps after husband says she died
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
US special forces end 6 year search for warlord Joseph Kony, who still remains at large. So be prepared for Kony 2017 reboot release this summer, with Kony 2023 and Kony 2030 also in the pipeline
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
In the Spanish language version of T2 of course the terminator doesn't say "hasta la vista baby"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
So, how does China's first aircraft carrier stack up against other military powers?
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Note to Americans: You can't just walk around Canada with a loaded gun. Sorry
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Bill O'Reilly: "I am sad that I'm not on television anymore"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
North Korea threatens to nuke Australia. Australia threatens to mail them a box of local wildlife
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
India's 68-year-old "Mother of Orphans" has raised over 1,400 abandoned children. "I am there for all those who have no one"
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Easter bonnets
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
After one superpower invades Afghanistan a rival superpower arms insurgents. 1980? No. Today
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Arkansas death row: Let's play two
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman banished from community after attacking her former lover with a sword. This is not a repeat from 1465 England
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Good: Oakland residents attempt historical reenactment. Bad: Train robbery
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Madison Daily Cardinal)
 
 
 
"Oh we got both kinds. We got country AND western," say UW Madison bar owners
source: dailycardinal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Life can be funny. One day you're on a reality TV show catching fish off the coast of Alaska and the next thing you know you're being arrested on meth charges in Phoenix
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Wikipedia founder coming out with new site that is all about fighting fake news. They'll hire and pay actual journalists which is the way you stop fake news. I know, you're saying, but what about Fox News?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Trump declares war on Canada
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
$100k/yr is considered low income in parts of the Bay Area. Sad and Scary tags fight over a crappy two room apartment for $5k/mo
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Man denied lung transplant by University of Utah because he had THC traces in blood dies
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Mall employees panic when topless female runs amok in shopping center splash pad. A 3-year-old topless female
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Robert Pirsig has discovered the meaning of quality
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancaster Online)
 
 
 
Earthquake hits Lancaster, Pennsylvania, not a manure pit was harmed
source: lancasteronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Attendees at the annual Denver 4/20 marijuana event turn the venue into a sh*thole. But, like, we didn't hurt anybody, man
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 24, 2017
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
"Hold my beer" becomes "hold my baby"
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNCN Raleigh)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: Florida man convicted of murdering former FSU mascot in fight over gumbo spices
source: wncn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Apparently Russia has its own version of Disneyland. Although in place of Mickey Mouse they've got dead Nazis and instead of the Magic Kingdom they've got a German building on fire
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MEL Magazine)
 
 
 
Still putting two spaces after a period in a sentence? YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
source: melmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Homestar Runner's going back to their roots for a 20th anniversary episode, and they are using Mario Paint? Also Fark gets a big nod
source: redbull.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Why 4 out of 5 dentists recommend Fark
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
I'll see your four Mattress Firms in the same mall parking lot and raise you 10 mattress stores within .6 miles of each other
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Mrs. Orange County, why don't you have a seat over there
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this red fox, you big dummy
source: yourshot.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man arrested over elaborate plot designed to get him out of a vacation with his girlfriend
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Authorities in the NY Metro Area begin "Gotham Shield" nuclear response drills. FEMA is involved. You know what that means
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BNO News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Chile hit by 7.1 earthquake, still nowhere close to what the Chili's bathrooms get every night
source: bnonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Oregon teen sells $1 million in custom socks. In related story, subby's teen kid managed to get out of bed this morning
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight at 8PM EDT, Paul's Memory Bank plays two hours of songs beginning with the letter "K". For some reason, King Kong songs happened to be fairly popular
source: beta.tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
High school student wears prom dress with faces of those who inspired Black Lives Matter
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Korean Guy)
 
 
 
50 years of photos of us staring into the Korean DMZ--and the North Koreans staring back
source: timeline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
Woman gives birth by the bear exhibit at the Omaha zoo. Name the Zoo Baby contest in 3,2,1
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
In new twist on 'Florida man' meme, Florida Monkey now running wild
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Japanese drifter lived undetected above public toilet for 3 years until surprised electrician discovered him and his crawlspace. Aaaand his 300 plastic bottles of urine
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Spectator UK)
 
 
 
When Dr. Carla Valentine isn't dissecting corpses, she runs Dead Meet (a dating website for "death professionals"). She holds someone's heart in her hands every day. And her forthcoming dissertation is called "Putting the ROT into Erotic"
source: spectator.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
United beats you up. American hits you with strollers. Delta violates the Geneva Convention
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop um, whatever the heck this is
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
New billboard day causes multi-car pileup
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Philippine president Rodrigo Duterte vows to skip the fava beans and chianti, will just eat ISIS fanatics 'with vinegar and salt' if they are captured by his troops
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
You know you waited too long to mow the lawn when you find a man dead from an overdose in it
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Active Shooter reported near Dallas book suppository building. This is not a repeat from 1963
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Two things you'll learn from this story. One: You can fit some surprisingly large objects in women's underwear. And two: There's a prison called Isis
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Arrragghuuhw huurh aaahnruh huurh huuguughghg uughguughhhghghghhhgh huurh uughguughhhghghghhhgh uughghhhgh uugggh huuguughghg aarrragghuuhw raaaaaahhgh huuguughghg uuh raaaaaahhgh"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water. Bam...some son of a biatch gives you a hug
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Terrorist planned to kill seven random Australians a month, not realising that's nothing compared to the death rate from drop bears, platipi, and mollongogoolachucks
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Freak accident can mean a lot of things, being killed by Thor among them
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Need some cuteness to cure the Monday blues? Here are a bunch of guinea pigs eating Brussels sprouts, where the white one might have a massive fart attack. Feel free to post any other animal feeding videos
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
London bar serves a $23 whisky cocktail alongside a virtual reality headset. Which the customer can use to pretend they didn't just spend $23 for a shot of whisky
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Teen Vogue)
 
 
 
Women express concern over the rise of "stealthing," a new trend in which men remove their condom mid-intercourse without the woman's consent. And by "new trend," of course, we mean someone online heard of someone doing this once
source: teenvogue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
It's Confederate Memorial Day y'all. Roll Tide
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Queen and an elephant
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Offering to kiss state trooper who pulled you over for DUI doesn't help, especially without breath mints, luv
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Navy Times)
 
 
 
How administrative incompetence and bureaucratic blunders spun the story of the USS Carl Vinson missing a single port of call into an international incident
source: navytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Old: The Burning Man. New: The Bombay Beach Biennale, which features a drive-in, art shows and other eccentricities in the ghostly landscape of abandoned Salton Sea resorts -- as if you tried to make art houses in Fallout: New Vegas
source: laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Keloland)
 
 
 
Sioux Falls man arrested for trying to run back into a burning building to save his beer. No word on what kind of beer it was
source: keloland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Hello. My name is Sergio Montoya. I kill people's faith in teachers. Prepare to cry
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The US tobacco industry is climbing back after it almost died off in a puff of smoke
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Who's your go to business oriented motivational speaker?
source: media.licdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here are a bunch of things filled with beans that should NEVER be filled with beans
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
NASA claims no one has ever engaged thrusters in space
source: houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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